Named characters

11177 [NARRATOR]
3602 JP (546)/JP Cane (18)/Cane (2)/a bare - chested JP (1)/the real JP (1)/the playboy JP (1)/Chapter Twenty JP (1)/JP CANE (1)
2554 Kelsey (381)/Lottie (274)/KELSEY (9)/Lottie Kelsey (1)
484 Breaker (145)
416 Huxley (283)/Huxley Cane (2)/Cane (1)/Text Huxley (1)/Fucking Huxley (1)/Mrs. Huxley Cane (1)/Mrs. Cane (1)
251 Kelsey (74)/Kelsey Gardner (9)/KELSEY (2)
197 Edwin (77)/The now very lively Edwin (1)
171 Derek (59)/Derek Toney (2)
169 Kelsey (20)/Winnie (7)/Winnie Kelsey (1)/Freddie (1)/Winston (1)/KELSEY (1)
121 Regis (40)/Regis Stallone (2)
115 Genesis (51)
88 Kelsey (17)/Dottie (9)/Dottie Kelsey (1)
85 Ellie (30)/Betty (1)
70 Kelsey (9)/Charlee (8)/Rath (5)/Rath and Charlee Kelsey (1)
53 Helix (25)
50 Jonah (25)/Jonah Cane (2)/Jonah Peter (1)/JONAH (1)/Jonah Peter Cane (1)/Cane (1)
45 Jeff (17)/Jeff Bridges (1)
45 Edison (17)/Mr. Edison (2)
45 Eugene (4)/Eugene Herbert (1)
45 Ralph (3)/Ralph Hopkins (2)
43 JP (25)/Fuck (2)/JP Fuck (1)
38 Miss Gardner (14)/Dear Miss Gardner (2)
33 Mr. Cane (10)/Cane (1)/Dear Mr. Cane (1)
31 God (30)/Good God (1)
30 Kazoo (11)
27 Mom (15)
27 Lia (3)
26 Baby (6)
24 Dave (10)/Dave Toney (6)
24 Jason (10)/Jay Gatsby (1)
22 Babe (13)
22 Greer (11)/Kelsey (5)/Greer Kelsey (1)
22 Ren (10)/Kelsey (6)/Ren Kelsey (1)
21 Fallon (9)/Kelsey (3)/Fallon Kelsey (1)
20 Emory (8)/Kelsey (3)/Emory Kelsey (1)
19 Jesus Christ (10)/Jesus (6)/Christ (3)
18 Arlo (9)
18 Kathy (9)
17 Griffin (12)
16 Alec (11)
16 Bonnie (9)/Kelsey (3)/Bonnie Kelsey (1)
15 Luna (11)/Kelsey (2)/Luna Kelsey (1)
15 Pigeons (1)
14 Hux (14)
14 Rowan (9)/Boss Man Bridegroom Rowan (1)
14 Sawyer (12)
13 Ronda (4)
12 Julie Andrews (7)/Mary Poppins (2)/Julie (1)/Mary Poppins Julie Andrews (1)
11 Kelse (9)
9 Knox (9)
9 Meredith (6)
9 Jason (5)/Jason Orson (1)
9 Rockwell (5)
9 Ryot (6)/Ryot Bisley (1)
8 Thad (3)
8 Tom Hanks (2)/Tom (1)
8 Pacey (7)/KELSEY Meant to Be Podcast Pacey (1)
8 Karla (7)
8 Tammy (2)
8 Penn (6)/Penn Cutler (1)
8 Coach (2)
8 the Bobbies (4)
7 Harry (3)/Sally (3)/Harry Met Sally (1)
7 Sam Baldwin (1)
7 Edison (3)/William Edison (1)
7 Dad (5)
7 Whispering (1)
7 Leiselotte (1)
7 Pitbull (1)
7 Joe Verity (1)
6 Meghan (4)/Meghan Quinn (2)
6 Henry Cavill (3)/Henry (1)
5 ManWearsPants (5)
5 RosesAreRed (5)
5 Maria (4)/Marie Antoinette (1)
5 Matt (5)
5 Sven (2)
5 Taylor (4)/Taylor Swift (1)
5 Dena (2)
5 Lulu Lemon (4)/Lucky (1)
5 Jill (4)
4 Meg Ryan (2)/Rita (1)/Ryan (1)
4 Christie (4)
4 Tonya Harding (1)/Tony (1)
4 Hilary (3)
4 Fifi Heart (1)/Fifi (1)
4 the Angelica (2)
4 Virgin (1)/The Romance Novelist Chronicles (1)/The Virgin Romance Novelist (1)/The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles (1)
3 Touché (1)
3 Noely (1)
3 Junior Pooper (3)
3 WALKER (2)/Walker (1)
2 Noely Clark (2)
2 Malibu (2)
2 Jack (1)/Jack Parker (1)
2 Anne Hathaway (1)
2 Doe (2)
2 Mother (2)
2 Golly (1)/Golly goodness (1)
2 Adele (2)
2 Boris (2)
2 Joo - Joo Poo - Poo (2)
2 Young Kelsey (1)/Kelsey (1)
2 Mrs. Frisbee Lane (2)
2 Mr. Mayor (2)
2 Power Rangers (1)
2 Bing (1)
2 McKayla (2)
2 Kenzie (2)
2 Hattie (2)
2 Dominique (1)/Monica Geller (1)
2 Miranda (1)/The Randy Romance Novelist (1)
2 Hey ladieeees (2)
2 Jiggles (2)
2 Bridget Jones (1)/Bridget (1)
2 Worried (2)
2 Fingers (1)
2 Skylar (2)

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

5 Cane Enterprises
4 Pier 39/Pier 7
3 the Angelica
2 the Empire State Building
2 Angelica Building/the Angelica Building
2 Dim Sum Star
2 JP Cane
1 Central Park
1 The Green Mile
1 Mecca Tech

51 here/Here
45 home
38 there
37 the penthouse/The penthouse
29 my room
26 the room/The room
23 the kitchen
17 my office
15 his room
13 the dance floor

GPE

37 San Francisco
9 LA
4 Huxley
4 Seattle
4 California
4 Los Angeles
4 Alcatraz
4 Chicago
3 Chinatown
3 Parkside

7 town
6 the country
5 there
4 the city
4 this city
3 this place/This place
2 the town
2 a place
1 somewhere I ’ve never been
1 the Los Angeles

LOC

4 the Bay
1 the Angelica
1 Planet Earth
1 THE PERFECT CATCH

10 the world
4 the country
4 the area
3 the water
2 the universe
2 the earth
2 the ocean
2 this world
2 the planet
1 heaven

PER

665 Kelsey/Lottie/KELSEY/Lottie Kelsey
571 JP/JP Cane/Cane/a bare - chested JP/the real JP/the playboy JP/Chapter Twenty JP/JP CANE
290 Huxley/Huxley Cane/Cane/Text Huxley/Fucking Huxley/Mrs. Huxley Cane/Mrs. Cane
145 Breaker
85 Kelsey/Kelsey Gardner/KELSEY
78 Edwin/The now very lively Edwin
61 Derek/Derek Toney
51 Genesis
42 Regis/Regis Stallone
31 God/Good God

51 each other
47 someone
38 babe
37 friends/Friends
32 everyone/Everyone
32 people/People
30 Dude/dude
30 baby/Baby
27 man/Man
26 my sister/My sister

ORG

15 Cane Enterprises
2 Mecca Tech
2 Sustainably Organized
1 The JPCPR

11 the company/The company
4 our company
3 this company
2 your company
2 high school
2 the league
1 a . . .
1 a medical tech company
1 elementary school
1 Cane Real Estate

VEH

1 a Tesla

22 the car
10 my car
7 the plane
6 the van
3 the airplane
3 the elevator
2 his car
2 your car
2 the carousel
2 a plane

Text

Published by Hot - Lanta Publishing , LLC Copyright 2022 Cover Design By : RBA Designs

This book is licensed for [your]319-your personal enjoyment only . This book may not be re - sold or given away to [other people]320-other people . If [you]319-your would like to share this book with [another person]321-another person , please purchase an additional copy for [each person]322-each person . If [you]319-your ’re reading this book and did not purchase it , or it was not purchased for [your]319-your use only , then please return it and purchase [your]319-your own copy . Thank [you]319-your for respecting the hard work of [this author]323-this author .

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means , including information storage and retrieval systems , without written permission from [the author]324-the author , except for the use of brief quotations in a book review . To obtain permission to excerpt portions of the text , please contact [the author]324-the author at meghan.quinn.author@gmail.com

All characters in this book are fiction and figments of [the author]324-the author ’s imagination .

www.authormeghanquinn.com

Copyright © 2022 [Meghan Quinn]85-meghan All rights reserved .

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To be the first to find out about when all of [my]0-i upcoming books go live , click here . And do n’t forget to add [my]0-i books to [your]319-your TBR !

Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Epilogue

Excerpt - The Perfect Catch

More Books by [Meghan]85-meghan

Prologue

KELSEY

[Kelsey]86-kelsey , it ’s a known fact [men]2682-men and [women]2683-women ca n’t have a working relationship and be [friends]2684-friends at the same time . ”[87-jp] [JP Cane]87-jp leans against the edge of the conference room table , tattooed arms crossed at [his]87-jp annoyingly brawny chest , sleeves of [his]87-jp dress shirt folded up to [his]87-jp elbows , and sporting a smirk that is more infuriating than charming . “ What on earth are [you]87-jp talking about ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [I]0-i sit hunched over a mountain of design papers . Still leaning against the table , [he]87-jp lowers [his]87-jp hands casually and grips the edge as [he]87-jp says , “ The other night , when [we]2685-we were having dinner with [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey said [we]2685-we could be [friends]2684-friends . ”[87-jp] [Lottie]89-kelsey is [[my]0-i older sister]327-my older sister — by twelve months — and [[my]0-i best friend]328-my best friend . [She]89-kelsey ’s engaged to [the incomparable [Huxley Cane]90-huxley , [[our]330-our boss]331-our boss and [the brother of the bane of [my]0-i existence standing before [me]0-i]332-the brother of the bane of my existence standing before me]329-the incomparable huxley cane , our boss and the brother of the bane of my existence standing before me . How [we]330-our all came to know [each other]333-each other is still an extremely fascinating story of luck . The quick and dirty explanation ? [Lottie]89-kelsey was looking for [a rich husband]334-a rich husband to save face with [an archenemy]335-an archenemy , [Huxley]90-huxley was looking for a fake fiancée in order to secure a business arrangement . [They]336-they bumped into [each other]333-each other on [the sidewalk]338-the sidewalk . [They]336-they formed a deal to help [each other]333-each other , signed a contract , and [she]89-kelsey moved into [[his]329-the incomparable huxley cane , our boss and the brother of the bane of my existence standing before me mansion]340-his mansion . It ’s all Pretty Woman - esque , without the hooker aspect . Although . . . [Lottie]89-kelsey had a hard time staying away from [Huxley]90-huxley ’s alpha advances . But while [she]89-kelsey was playing the role of [the doting , madly - in - love fiancée]341-the doting , madly - in - love fiancée , [she]89-kelsey was helping [me]0-i with [my]0-i business , Sustainably Organized . That ’s how [we]342-we were hired by [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises and how [I]0-i found [myself]0-i working closely with [JP]87-jp because [he]87-jp was [the one assigned to [[my]0-i projects]344-my projects]343-the one assigned to my projects . Like [I]0-i said , a whirlwind . [I]0-i still ca n’t believe it happened this way . “ Do [you]0-i have a rebuttal ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , pulling [me]0-i from [my]0-i thoughts . Seeing that this meeting is going nowhere , [I]0-i toss [my]0-i pen to the table and stand tall . “ First of all , [we]342-we were n’t having dinner together with [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey . It was n’t a double date — ”[0-i] “ Jesus , [I]87-jp know , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , exasperated . [You]0-i made that very clear three and a half times . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp uses [his]87-jp fingers to tick off the instances . “ When [we]342-we rang the doorbell , because [we]342-we happened to arrive at the same time . When [we]342-we were in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , both reaching for the same champagne . Outside by [the pool]2688-the pool when [we]342-we happened to get left at the table alone . And in [the living room]2689-the living room , [you]0-i were midway through telling [me]87-jp [we]342-we were n’t on a double date when [Lottie]89-kelsey interrupted [you]0-i to show [you]0-i a new ‘ toy ’ [she]89-kelsey got . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp grins , flashing those annoyingly straight teeth of [his]87-jp . “ Still waiting on the details of the new toy . ”[87-jp] “ And secondly . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i continue . No way am [I]0-i telling [him]87-jp about that . . . device , [Huxley]90-huxley got [Lottie]89-kelsey . Nope . [I]0-i ’m blushing just thinking about it . “ Why on earth ca n’t [we]2690-we be [friends]2684-friends ? ”[0-i] “ Is n’t it obvious ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance around [the room]345-the room , trying to see if [I]0-i ’ve missed any clues , but [I]0-i spot absolutely nothing . [I]0-i look back at [him]87-jp and say , “ No . No , it ’s not obvious . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head and moves around the conference table to sit on it , right next to [me]0-i . “ Because , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , there ’s a palpable attraction between [us]2692-us . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i snort so hard [I]0-i spray snot on the design plans in front of [me]0-i . Casually , [I]0-i wipe away the droplets with [my]0-i hand . An attraction ? [I]0-i mean . . . sure , [JP]87-jp is [a very handsome man]346-a very handsome man . An obvious handsome , if [you]347-you ’re into the steep cut of [his]87-jp jawline that ’s peppered by a thick , dark beard . [His]87-jp sexy , tousled hair curls ever so slightly on top but is faded short on the sides , and the hidden tattoos that only appear when [he]87-jp ’s comfortable with [his]87-jp present company . Yes , [he]87-jp ’s handsome , sexy , [I]0-i might have said a time or two . But there ’s more to [a human being]348-a human being than just finding [them]348-a human being physically attractive , at least for [me]0-i . For [me]0-i to actually find [someone attractive]349-someone attractive , [they]349-someone attractive need to have a good heart , a desirable personality , and be able to make [me]0-i laugh . Not sure [JP]87-jp has a heart , and [his]87-jp personality reads like that of [an attention - seeking middle child with an aptitude for not taking anything seriously]350-an attention - seeking middle child with an aptitude for not taking anything seriously . [He]87-jp might have a good one - liner here and there , but [his]87-jp overall ability to provoke , annoy , and irritate [me]0-i wins out . [He]87-jp must have one of [the messiest offices [I]0-i ’ve ever seen]351-the messiest offices i ’ve ever seen , * whispers * which is a complete turn off for [a detail - oriented person like [I]0-i am]352-a detail - oriented person like i am . Who could look at [someone sexually]353-someone sexually when [his]353-someone sexually desk is stacked in papers and covered by coffee cups and pens with mismatched lids ? So , am [I]0-i attracted to [JP]87-jp ? That would be a definite no . [You]87-jp really think there ’s an attraction between [us]2693-us ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [Babe]91-babe , [I]0-i can smell the sexual chemistry , and because it ’s so palpable , so thick , so . . . musky — ”[0-i] “ Eww , it ’s not musky . ”[87-jp] What am [I]0-i saying ? It ’s not anything . There ’s no chemistry . Nothing is palpable , and there ’s absolutely no thickness . . . none . Nor is anything musky . Who even describes attraction as musky ? But [he]87-jp ignores [me]0-i and continues [his]87-jp far - fetched diatribe . [We]2693-us ca n’t possibly be [work friends]2694-work friends because the attraction between [us]2693-us will always and forever put the thought of sex on the table . ”[87-jp] This time [I]0-i hold back [my]0-i snort and let silence fill the air for a few breaths before [I]0-i close the space between [us]354-us until [our]354-us faces are only a few inches apart . Despite [him]87-jp being almost a foot taller than [I]0-i am , [I]0-i can still look [him]87-jp in the eyes as [I]0-i ask , “ Are [you]87-jp feverish ? Is that what ’s happening ? [You]87-jp ’ve come down with something and this is how [you]87-jp act ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m [a specimen of health]2695-a specimen of health . [You]0-i should know that . [You]0-i check [me]0-i out enough . ”[0-i] [I]0-i do not . ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t . Just need to make that clear . [I]0-i really do n’t . [He]87-jp guffaws , a sound so annoying that [my]0-i molars grind together . “ Why do [you]87-jp think [my]87-jp sleeves are rolled up right now ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i glance down at [his]87-jp inked forearms — okay , sure , those are sexy , probably the best thing about [the man]355-the man . That ’s it , though , the forearms . Ca n’t blame [a girl]356-a girl for delighting in some arm porn , right , [ladies]357-ladies ? [He]87-jp leans in close . “ Because [I]87-jp know how much [they]2696-they turn [you]357-ladies on . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i press [my]0-i hand against [his]87-jp face , stopping whatever [he]87-jp ’s attempting to do . “ Do [you]87-jp understand how massively inappropriate this is ? [I]0-i ’m [[your]87-jp employee]2697-your employee . ”[0-i] “ Technically , [you]0-i ’re [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s employee]2698-huxley ’s employee , [I]87-jp ’m just [the overseer of things]2699-the overseer of things . ”[87-jp] “ Is that the professional term ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp flashes that irritating grin of [his]87-jp . “ It is . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wets [his]87-jp lips but [I]0-i keep [my]0-i eyes trained on [his]87-jp eyes . There ’s no way [I]0-i ’ll give [him]87-jp the satisfaction of glancing at [his]87-jp mouth . “ Not sure why [you]87-jp ’re getting all flustered and red in the face . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m not flustered . ”[0-i] [I]0-i straighten [my]0-i arms at [my]0-i sides . [I]0-i ’m trying to be [an honest do - gooder]2700-an honest do - gooder right now , attempting to educate [you]87-jp on why [we]2701-we ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends . [I]0-i should be praised , not disparaged with [your]87-jp sneer . ”[0-i] Before [I]0-i can respond , [he]87-jp keeps moving forward with [his]87-jp so - called do - gooder ’s education . [A man]2703-a man and [a woman who find [each other]333-each other attractive and who work together]2704-a woman who find each other attractive and who work together will never be able to be [friends]2684-friends . There will always be a giant elephant in [the room]345-the room , and that elephant ’s name is Sex . It ’s basic human math , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [We]2701-we all need to climax , and when [we]2701-we find [someone who ’s attractive]2708-someone who ’s attractive , [we]2701-we want [that person]2709-that person to help [us]2701-we climax . ”[87-jp] Is [anyone else]358-anyone else hearing this ? [God]92-god , [he]87-jp could not cheapen the act of making love any more . Is it an ego boost [JP]87-jp thinks [I]0-i ’m attractive ? Yep . But where ’s the romance these days ? Where ’s the wooing ? Where ’s the spontaneity ? Even [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley will admit there was nothing romantic about how [their]359-their relationship started . It all seems so clinical these days . As [a true romantic who loves everything about love]360-a true romantic who loves everything about love , [I]0-i ca n’t help wondering if there ’s [a man out there who checks all the boxes of [the perfect romcom hero]362-the perfect romcom hero]361-a man out there who checks all the boxes of the perfect romcom hero . Noooo , now [we]363-we have to deal with catfishing , followed by an unsolicited dick pic , and then finalized by a solid ghosting . [I]0-i ’m so sick of it . Hands on [my]0-i hips , [I]0-i turn toward [him]87-jp and ask , “ What the hell happened to make [you]87-jp like this ? [I]0-i asked [you]87-jp what [you]87-jp thought about bamboo filing cabinets and it turned into this argument about why [we]363-we ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends . [I]0-i do n’t see how this conversation is relevant to [my]0-i question . ”[0-i] “ It ’s relevant , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , sliding in closer , [his]87-jp shoe now pressing against [my]0-i heel , “ because when [your]0-i hungry eyes are devouring [me]87-jp from across the conference table but [your]0-i attitude is attempting to put [me]87-jp in the friend zone , [I]87-jp ’m going to call [you]0-i out on it . [You]0-i said [you]0-i want to be [friends]2684-friends , but that ’s not going to happen . ”[87-jp] A delusion , that ’s what [he]87-jp ’s experiencing . And [someone]364-someone needs to put [him]87-jp in [his]87-jp place . [I]0-i press [my]0-i finger to [his]87-jp chest and say , “ Trust [me]0-i , [JP]87-jp , if [I]0-i found [you]87-jp the least bit attractive , [you]87-jp ’d know it . What [you]0-i ’re believing are hungry eyes for [you]0-i , is [a ravenous woman who had one waffle slathered in peanut butter]2712-a ravenous woman who had one waffle slathered in peanut butter at six this morning . Hunger hallucination has set in , and [your]0-i meager body — ”[0-i] “ Meager ? Pfft . ”[0-i] “ — has morphed into a giant meatball sub in [my]87-jp mind , nothing more . Convince [yourself]87-jp all [you]87-jp want about what [you]87-jp assume is [my]87-jp attraction toward [you]87-jp , but from [my]87-jp mouth to [your]87-jp headstrong ears , [I]87-jp could n’t find [you]87-jp any more revolting . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp brows shoot up in surprise . Honestly , [I]0-i ’m slightly surprised [myself]0-i . Revolting is n’t the right word , but [I]0-i ’m on a roll . “ And if [I]87-jp had any romantic inkling toward [you]87-jp , [I]87-jp would n’t be wearing this simple , almost homely blouse that does nothing to show off [my]87-jp perfect , bouncy breasts . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wets [his]87-jp lips as [he]87-jp glances down briefly at [my]0-i chest and then back up . “ And [I]87-jp would n’t be wearing underwear , either , on the off chance that [you]87-jp pulled [me]87-jp on top of this conference table and spread [my]87-jp legs for a small taste . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp Adam ’s apple bobs . “ And [I]87-jp sure as hell would n’t be mentally pleading for this conversation to end so [I]87-jp can pack up and retreat to [[my]87-jp studio apartment]2713-my studio apartment to eat dinner peacefully alone without [an imperious imbecile like [yourself]87-jp]2714-an imperious imbecile like yourself chirping in [my]87-jp ear about work relationships . Because , [JP]87-jp , if [I]87-jp wanted [you]87-jp , [I]87-jp would want to steal , consume , and savor every second [I]87-jp had with [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp reaches out to [me]0-i just as [I]0-i twist away to gather [my]0-i papers . “ But that ’s not the case here . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i smile at [him]87-jp . [I]0-i ca n’t get away from [you]87-jp fast enough . ”[0-i] [I]0-i am [woman]365-woman ! Hear [me]0-i roar ! [His]87-jp nostrils flare . [His]87-jp jaw ticks . And [he]87-jp stuffs [his]87-jp hands in [his]87-jp dress pant pockets where they belong . “ Now that [we]2715-we ’ve cleared that up , [I]87-jp ’ll leave since [we]2715-we ’re getting nothing done [here]2716-here and [a meatball sub]2717-a meatball sub is calling [my]87-jp name . [I]87-jp ’m going to assume [you]87-jp approve of the bamboo filing cabinets . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i collect the papers together and then tap them on the table , evening them into one solid stack . [We]2715-we still ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , [his]87-jp voice strangled . [God]92-god , is [he]87-jp still on that ? Let ’s add mental ability of a gnat to [his]87-jp list of incompatible qualities . “ Good . When [I]0-i said that the other night , [I]0-i was just attempting to be kind , [you]87-jp know , since [[your]87-jp company]2719-your company hired [mine]0-i , but now that [our]2715-we feelings are out in the open , [we]2715-we can live [our]2715-we lives without this fake , bullshit friendship . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gently place [my]0-i papers in [my]0-i folder and then in [my]0-i bag along with [my]0-i pens , keeping them color - coded , of course . “ Now , if [you]87-jp do n’t mind , [I]0-i have an appointment to stuff [my]0-i mouth full of meat . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move past [him]87-jp , [my]0-i shoulder bumping against [his]87-jp , but [he]87-jp places [his]87-jp hand on [my]0-i hip , pausing [my]0-i retreat . [His]87-jp touch is barely a blip on [my]0-i bodice , but [I]0-i shiver reluctantly . [Our]366-us shoulders meet , side by side , and when [I]0-i look forward , avoiding eye contact with [him]87-jp , [he]87-jp leans in and whispers into [my]0-i ear , [his]87-jp lips inches away . “ The only bullshit thing between [us]366-us is that spiel [you]0-i just laid out . Deny it all [you]0-i want , but [I]87-jp know [you]0-i want [me]87-jp . The quicker [you]0-i accept that , the better [you]0-i will feel . ”[87-jp] Despite the heavy beat of [my]0-i heart , [I]0-i know it ’s [my]0-i time to turn [my]0-i head , and when [I]0-i do , [our]366-us noses nearly touch . With all the bravado [I]0-i can muster , [I]0-i say , “ The sooner [you]0-i realize [I]0-i ’m out of [your]0-i league . . . the better [you]0-i will feel . ”[0-i] It was n’t always like this between [us]366-us . When [I]0-i first met [him]367-he , all [I]0-i could think about was how truly , stunningly handsome [he]367-he was , with [his]367-he mossy - green stare and a cocky air about [him]367-he that demanded [my]0-i attention . [He]367-he was everything [a girl]356-a girl fantasizes about . For the briefest of moments , [I]0-i thought that maybe , just maybe , there could be something between [us]366-us . That if [he]367-he asked [me]0-i out on a date , [I]0-i would ’ve said yes . But when [my]0-i business was toeing the line of becoming successful under [his]367-he leadership , [I]0-i knew [I]0-i would n’t mix business with pleasure , not when [I]0-i worked so hard to get to where [I]0-i was . So [I]0-i pushed [my]0-i initial thoughts to the side and , sadly , [I]0-i ’ve come to see [him]367-he differently now . [He]367-he regularly waltzes into meetings smelling like last night ’s perfume . [He]367-he ’s often distracted by [his]367-he phone , and when [I]0-i ’ve looked over , there ’s always been [a different woman]369-a different woman ’s name on the screen . [He]367-he ’s flirty and clearly not someone interested in long - term anything . [He]367-he teases about love , [he]367-he jokes about forever , and [he]367-he ’s never serious . And that ’s not what [I]0-i want despite [my]0-i initial attraction . With [my]0-i head held high , [I]0-i move past [him]367-he , out the door of [the conference room]370-the conference room , and to [the elevators]371-the elevators . [I]0-i have no idea why [JP]87-jp is droning on about this attraction between [us]372-us . It ’s not as though [I]0-i ’ve led [him]367-he on . [I]0-i ’m [a firm believer in love]373-a firm believer in love . Therefore , [I]0-i ’m looking for love . Not a fling , not a sexy one - night stand . [I]0-i ’m looking for [[my]0-i soulmate]374-my soulmate , just like [the soulmates on [my]0-i semi - popular podcast]375-the soulmates on my semi - popular podcast . [I]0-i want forever . [JP Cane]87-jp can believe what [he]87-jp wants , but if there ’s one thing [I]0-i know for sure in this romance desert that is [my]0-i life , [he]87-jp and [I]0-i are so not meant to be .

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[JP]87-jp

Let [me]0-i guess . . . [Kelsey]89-kelsey told [you]87-jp [we]376-we ’re so not meant to be , right ? * Rolls eyes * Of course [she]89-kelsey did . Not that [I]0-i ’m looking for forever , because [I]0-i ’m not . [I]0-i ’m just looking for a good time . [I]0-i ’ve had too much loss in [my]0-i life to commit to [anyone]377-anyone . Yeah , [I]0-i ’m [that guy]378-that guy . Psychoanalyze [me]0-i all [you]379-you want , but it ’s not going to change the fact that [my]0-i fear of commitment is a real thing . But [I]0-i ’ll say this — if [anyone]377-anyone was going to change [my]0-i mind about that , it would be [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey ’s . . . hell , [she]89-kelsey ’s all kinds of special . From the first moment [I]0-i saw [her]89-kelsey during [her]89-kelsey pitch meeting with [us]381-us , [I]0-i was wowed . But working closely together , [I]0-i was enamored . [Her]89-kelsey smile , [her]89-kelsey positive outlook on life , [her]89-kelsey fucking gorgeous eyes , [she]89-kelsey stole [my]0-i breath , and it was the first time in [my]0-i goddamn life that [I]0-i actually thought to [myself]0-i . . . [she]89-kelsey could be [my]0-i forever . Talk about scaring the shit out of [myself]0-i . It was like a Nordic breeze shot right up [my]0-i ass . Absolutely chilling . [I]0-i could n’t be thinking that way . [I]0-i could n’t be thinking about * gulp * forever . So , being [a mature adult]382-a mature adult , [I]0-i ’ve chosen to deflect . To annoy . To keep [her]89-kelsey as far away as possible . And [boy]383-boy was it working . [I]0-i got under [her]89-kelsey skin . Whenever [she]89-kelsey looks at [me]0-i , [she]89-kelsey wants to murder [me]0-i . Whenever [I]0-i look at [her]89-kelsey , [I]0-i think . . . well , [she]89-kelsey ’s hot , but [she]89-kelsey wants to murder [me]0-i , therefore , stay away . And like [I]0-i said , it worked . It worked so fucking well . . . until it did n’t anymore . [You]384-you can ONLY imagine what happens next . . .

Chapter One

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Alec]93-alec and [Luna Kelsey]94-luna : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]386-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Alec]93-alec and [Luna]94-luna , thank [you]388-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . [Alec]93-alec : [Our]386-we pleasure . [Luna]94-luna could not stop raving about [you]388-you . [Luna]94-luna : Guilty . [I]0-i ’m obsessed with this podcast . [Kelsey]94-luna : Thank [you]388-you so much . So then , [you]388-you must know how [we]386-we run things over here . The intro is [you]386-we two giving [us]386-we a quick rundown on [your]388-you meet - cute . Think [you]386-we can do it ? [Luna]94-luna : [We]386-we can . [Alec]93-alec : [She]389-she made [me]0-i practice . [Kelsey]94-luna : Ha - ha . Well then , take it away . How did [you]386-we two become meant to be ? [Luna]94-luna : [[My]0-i brother]390-my brother got engaged to [[his]390-my brother boyfriend]391-his boyfriend and [they]392-they could n’t afford a big , fancy wedding , so [I]0-i signed [him]390-my brother up for a DIY wedding show called The Wedding Game . [Alec]93-alec : [[My]0-i brother]390-my brother , [Thad]95-thad , was [a groomzilla]394-a groomzilla and wanted to win the grand prize at the end of the show , [an apartment overlooking [Central Park]2-central park]395-an apartment overlooking central park , and laid a guilt trip to force [me]0-i to help . [Luna]94-luna : First day of shooting , [Alec]93-alec assumed [I]0-i was [a PA]396-a pa and demanded [I]0-i get [him]93-alec coffee . [Alec]93-alec : Asked , not demanded . Let ’s keep things straight , but , yes , [I]0-i did . And [you]94-luna can imagine how [the little spitfire next to [me]0-i]397-the little spitfire next to me reacted . [Luna]94-luna : [I]0-i had it out for [him]93-alec . [He]93-alec was the competition and [he]93-alec was going down . [Alec]93-alec : [I]0-i did n’t care about the competition at all and was counting down the days until it was done . Then [I]0-i realized what [a bad brother]398-a bad brother [I]0-i was being and how sad [Thad]95-thad was , so . . . [I]0-i put in the effort . [Luna]94-luna : Effort meant following [me]0-i around [a baking store]399-a baking store so [he]93-alec could learn how to bake a cake . [Alec]93-alec : [I]0-i knocked over some nuts , and [she]400-she helped [me]0-i pick them up and found [me]0-i out . [She]400-she took pity on [me]0-i and showed [me]0-i how to bake a cake to help [Thad]95-thad . [Luna]94-luna : That day in [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment changed everything . [I]0-i did n’t see [him]95-thad as competition . [I]0-i saw [him]95-thad as [a brother]402-a brother trying to make a difference . [Alec]93-alec : [She]400-she ’s a sucker for [family]403-family , and so shortly after that , [I]0-i asked [her]400-she out . [Luna]94-luna : [We]404-you got married last spring .

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“ Can [you]404-you two stop making out ? Honestly , [I]89-kelsey came here to have dinner with [you]404-you , not see [you]404-you lick [each other]333-each other ’s faces . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey pauses and looks over [her]89-kelsey shoulder . “ But [he]95-thad smells so good . Have [you]89-kelsey smelled [him]95-thad ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]90-huxley have n’t , because [he]95-thad ’s not [[my]90-huxley boyfriend]2721-my boyfriend . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley twists [Lottie]89-kelsey off [him]405-he onto the outdoor couch [they]404-you ’re sharing and lifts [her]89-kelsey chin to [his]405-he lips . [I]405-he ’m going to go check on the pizza . ”[405-he] [He]405-he presses the lightest of kisses to [her]89-kelsey lips and then stands . [Kelse]96-kelse , can [I]405-he get [you]96-kelse a refill on [your]96-kelse drink ? ”[405-he] [I]0-i hold up [my]0-i wineglass to [him]405-he and say , “ Please , thank [you]405-he . ”[0-i] [Huxley]90-huxley has the best wines . [He]405-he does n’t drink much of it , so [I]0-i always make a point to put a dent in [his]405-he labels when [I]0-i ’m over for dinner , which is at least once a week . And eating outside is always [my]0-i choice . [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey have [a gorgeous , coastal - style house with white walls and black accents just outside [Beverly Hills]3-beverly hills in [The Flats]407-the flats]406-a gorgeous , coastal - style house with white walls and black accents just outside beverly hills in the flats . [The backyard]408-the backyard has [a breathtaking infinity pool that stretches the length of [the property]410-the property]409-a breathtaking infinity pool that stretches the length of the property and expensive yet massively comfortable patio furniture . Tall palm trees add privacy . [Their backyard]411-their backyard is [[my]0-i favorite place]412-my favorite place . When [he]405-he disappears into [the house]413-the house , [Lottie]89-kelsey leans toward [me]0-i and asks , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey know that vibrator [I]89-kelsey showed [you]89-kelsey the other night ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey looks over [her]89-kelsey shoulder , checking on [Huxley]90-huxley , and then says , [I]89-kelsey blacked out . [He]405-he legit had to shake [me]89-kelsey back to consciousness . [He]405-he wo n’t use it on [me]89-kelsey anymore even though [I]89-kelsey ’m begging desperately for it . ”[89-kelsey] Keeping [my]0-i expression neutral , [I]0-i say , “ Is n’t that lovely . Congratulations on the intense orgasm . ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s brows tilt down . “ Hey , am [I]89-kelsey sensing some sarcasm ? ”[89-kelsey] “ What clued [you]414-my sister in ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i cross one leg over the other , wishing [I]0-i did n’t ask for a refill on wine . “ Uh , the attitude . What the hell is going on ? ”[89-kelsey] Sighing , [I]0-i look [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister in the eye and say , [I]0-i ’m very happy for [you]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley and [your]89-kelsey love , but [I]0-i ’m [the perpetually single one]2722-the perpetually single one , and it ’s hard to watch . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]0-i jealous ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , not even trying to avoid the truth . [Lottie]89-kelsey is [[my]0-i best friend]328-my best friend and [I]0-i tell [her]89-kelsey everything , even if it makes [me]0-i look bad . [I]0-i ’m very jealous that [you]89-kelsey have this consuming relationship with [a man who worships [you]89-kelsey]2723-a man who worships you , and [I]0-i do n’t even have one prospect . ”[0-i] “ That ’s not true , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says as [Huxley]90-huxley rejoins [us]416-us , handing [us]416-us both glasses of wine . “ What about [JP]87-jp ? ”[90-huxley] “ Oh , please , ”[0-i] [I]0-i groan and then send [my]0-i apologies to [Huxley]90-huxley . “ No offense to [you]90-huxley since [he]87-jp ’s [[your]90-huxley brother]2724-your brother , but [JP]87-jp is [a moron]2725-a moron . ”[90-huxley] “ No offense taken . [I]90-huxley agree with [you]89-kelsey , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says as [he]417-he drapes [his]417-he arm behind [Lottie]89-kelsey and pulls [her]89-kelsey against [his]417-he side while bringing [his]417-he beer bottle to [his]417-he lips . “ How is [he]87-jp [a moron]2725-a moron ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ Where to start ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks , looking so composed and regal . If [Huxley]90-huxley , [JP]87-jp , and [Breaker]97-breaker[[their]418-their other brother]419-their other brother — didn’t all look so much alike , [I]0-i would question [their]418-their relationship to each other . [I]0-i ’ve always liked [Huxley]90-huxley , even when [Lottie]89-kelsey hated [him]417-he . It was easy to get along with [him]417-he because [he]417-he ’s very business - minded , smart , and can remain impartial . [He]417-he ’s savvy with work decisions , enjoys helping , and loves deeply . [He]417-he ’s the total package . [I]0-i ’m very grateful [Lottie]89-kelsey found [him]417-he , but [God]92-god , if only [JP]87-jp had an ounce of [Huxley]90-huxley in [him]87-jp , it would make being around [him]87-jp bearable . [JP]87-jp is fun , the kind of fun [you]0-i need , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . [I]89-kelsey love [you]0-i , [Kelse]96-kelse , but [you]0-i ’re a bit uptight . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i am not uptight , ”[0-i] [I]0-i defend . [I]0-i just know what [I]0-i like and what [I]0-i do n’t like , and trust [me]0-i when [I]0-i say [I]0-i do n’t like [JP]87-jp . [He]87-jp ’s annoying and thinks too highly of [himself]87-jp and , frankly , [he]87-jp ’s far too messy for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ All facts , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . [Kelsey]89-kelsey deserves better . ”[90-huxley] “ That ’s [[your]0-i brother]2724-your brother , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . [I]89-kelsey ’m aware , [babe]2728-babe . But [I]89-kelsey agree with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [They]2729-they are n’t a good match . ”[89-kelsey] “ Thank [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [I]0-i sip [my]0-i wine . “ And since [we]2730-we ’re on the topic , [I]0-i ’ll let [you]89-kelsey know [I]0-i ’m thinking about joining [that local dating app]2731-that local dating app . [You]89-kelsey know , the one with [the blind date restaurant]2732-the blind date restaurant ? ”[0-i] “ Wait , the one that [Noely Clark]98-noely clark from Good Morning , [Malibu]99-malibu has boasted about ? The one where [she]89-kelsey found love ? What ’s it called ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Going in Blind , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Yes . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey snaps [her]89-kelsey finger at [me]0-i . “ Oh [my]89-kelsey God , did n’t [you]0-i interview [her]89-kelsey and [Jack]100-jack on [your]0-i podcast ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i nod . “ Yes , that ’s where [I]89-kelsey got the idea . [She]89-kelsey was telling [me]89-kelsey all about it while [we]2733-we were n’t recording , and it seems really interesting . Like , maybe [I]89-kelsey could actually find someone like - minded . ”[89-kelsey] “ How does it work ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . “ It ’s all anonymous through an app , but [everyone]2734-everyone is put through a background check and screened to make sure there ’s no catfishing . Then , the app matches [you]2735-you with [people]2736-people . [You]2735-you do n’t know who [the person]2737-the person is by name or what [they]2737-the person look like , and [you]2735-you meet up at [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant , Going in Blind , where [you]2735-you share a meal together and see if [you]2735-you ’re a match . Like a blind date . ”[90-huxley] “ That ’s pretty neat , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . [I]89-kelsey love it , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey adds . “ God , [I]89-kelsey should ’ve thought of that when [I]89-kelsey was trolling for [a rich husband]334-a rich husband . ”[89-kelsey] [Huxley]90-huxley ’s arm tightens around [Lottie]89-kelsey as [he]420-he says , [I]420-he think [you]89-kelsey did pretty good for [yourself]89-kelsey . ”[420-he] [Lottie]89-kelsey cups [his]420-he cheek and pulls [him]420-he in for a kiss . [I]89-kelsey did decent , though [you]420-he can be quite grumpy . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i watch [Huxley]90-huxley ’s hand curl around [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister possessively as [he]420-he whispers something into [her]414-my sister ear . Ugh , great , [you]414-my sister ’re in love . [WE]422-we ALL CAN SEE THAT ! [I]0-i lean back in [my]0-i chair and drain [my]0-i wineglass , while [they]423-they do some sort of secret whispering thing to each other which , frankly , [I]0-i have no desire to be a part of . Not that [they]423-they want [me]0-i to be a part of it either . What [I]0-i would like is to be a part of a relationship like [theirs]423-they where [you]424-you ’re so infatuated with [each other]333-each other that [you]424-you completely forget the world around [you]424-you and get lost in [each other]333-each other ’s eyes . [I]0-i want to be worshipped . [I]0-i want to be important in [someone]364-someone ’s life . [I]0-i want to be [the person someone calls]428-the person someone calls when [they]364-someone need advice or have big news . . . or just want to hear [my]0-i voice . [I]0-i want to be surprised with flowers at [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment door . Whisked away to [somewhere [I]0-i ’ve never been]430-somewhere i ’ve never been . Thought of nearly every second of every day because [I]0-i consume [someone]364-someone ’s thoughts . [I]0-i want the real . The ugly . The pettiness that comes with relationships . The teasing . The arguments . The laughs . The love . The romance . [I]0-i want it all . And sitting here , watching [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister experience exactly that , yes , it makes [me]0-i jealous , but it also makes [me]0-i realize that if [I]0-i want all those things , [I]0-i ’m going to have to make them happen [myself]0-i . [I]0-i ca n’t sit back and wait . If [I]0-i want love , [I]0-i need to go find it .

* * *

“ Oh God , [I]0-i feel like throwing up , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i shake [my]0-i hands at [my]0-i side . “ Why did [I]0-i think this was a good idea ? ”[0-i] “ Because [you]0-i want to be in a relationship , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says calmly from where [she]89-kelsey sits cross - legged on [my]0-i bed . [I]89-kelsey do . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i nod as [I]0-i stare at [myself]0-i in [my]0-i full - length mirror , examining the purple , strapless dress [I]0-i chose for [my]0-i date tonight . [I]0-i really want to be in a relationship . ”[0-i] “ And [you]0-i [yourself]0-i said [this guy]2740-this guy sounds nice . Likes dogs , has [his]2740-this guy own business — something [you]0-i have in common — and has a secret desire to be in [a boy band]2741-a boy band , which is charming . ”[0-i] “ It is . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod again , still staring at [myself]0-i . [The boy band thing]2742-the boy band thing really got [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ And what was [his]2740-this guy favorite quote again ? ”[0-i] “ ‘ Buzz , [[your]2740-this guy girlfriend]2743-your girlfriend ! Woof ! ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , chuckling as [I]0-i turn to the side , checking out [my]0-i back . [Lottie]89-kelsey chuckles too . “ See , [he]2740-this guy seems like a good time as well . ”[89-kelsey] Now [I]0-i turn toward [Lottie]89-kelsey and ask , “ What if [he]2740-this guy ’s [the one]2744-the one ? ”[0-i] “ Okay , [you]0-i ca n’t go into this thinking like that . [You]0-i need to be calm , composed , and just have fun . [You]0-i ca n’t go all crazy romantic on [him]2740-this guy and ask [him]2740-this guy to have [your]0-i babies fifteen minutes into the date . ”[0-i] [I]0-i give [her]89-kelsey a glaring look . [I]0-i would never do that . ”[0-i] “ Just checking , because earlier [you]0-i asked [me]0-i if purple accented [your]0-i elbow pit veins too much . Who asks that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i flash [my]0-i arms at [Lottie]89-kelsey and say , [Mom]101-mom gave [me]0-i these veins , and they are far too prominent . [I]0-i do n’t need the purple of this dress making them even more prominent . ”[0-i] “ With the way that dress makes [your]0-i boobs look , [I]0-i ’m pretty sure the last thing [he]2740-this guy ’s going to be looking at is [your]0-i inner elbow veins . ”[0-i] [I]0-i clutch [my]0-i chest . “ Oh [my]0-i God , do [I]0-i look like [I]0-i ’m trying too hard ? ”[0-i] “ Noooo , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey moans . [You]0-i look perfect . Now , if [you]0-i do n’t leave soon , [you]0-i ’re going to be late and [I]89-kelsey know what [you]0-i hate most in life is being late . ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s true . Being late just means [you]0-i ’re either a ‘ time bender’—that ’s a real thing — or [you]0-i do n’t care about [other people]320-other people ’s time . And time is the one thing in life [you]0-i ca n’t get back . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , [I]89-kelsey know . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey stands from the bed and ushers [me]0-i toward the door , but before [she]89-kelsey can push [me]0-i out , [I]0-i turn toward [her]89-kelsey and grip [her]89-kelsey arms . “ What if this is it , if [he]2746-he ’s [the one]2744-the one ? [I]0-i ’m going to start sweating when [I]0-i see [him]2746-he . [I]0-i wo n’t be able to act cool . What if this is [my]0-i one and only chance at love ? ”[0-i] “ This is not [your]0-i one and only chance . This is a blind date with [a guy that some computer algorithm]2748-a guy that some computer algorithm thought would be a good fit for [you]0-i . ”[89-kelsey] “ A proven algorithm . The success rate is as high as ninety percent . Do [you]0-i know what kind of pressure that puts on [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’re overthinking this . It ’s supposed to be fun . ”[0-i] “ Nothing about dating is fun . [You]0-i lucked out with [Huxley]90-huxley . Maybe [I]89-kelsey should walk [a rich neighborhood]2749-a rich neighborhood , looking for [a husband]2750-a husband . ”[89-kelsey] “ Or [you]0-i could just go out with [JP]87-jp . . . ”[0-i] That calms [my]0-i nerves right away and [I]0-i put distance between [myself]0-i and [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister . “ By now [you]0-i should know [I]89-kelsey have zero interest in [him]87-jp . [I]89-kelsey ’d have better luck dating a houseplant than [JP Cane]87-jp . [Now”—I]102-now”—i[89-kelsey] straighten out [my]0-i dress—“if [you]0-i will excuse [me]89-kelsey , [I]89-kelsey have a blind date to go on . ”[89-kelsey] “ One mention of [JP]87-jp and [you]89-kelsey ’re all fixed and ready to go ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pick up [my]0-i purse and sling it over [my]0-i shoulder . “ Because if there ’s one thing [I]0-i know for sure , it ’s that any date is better than a date with [him]87-jp . ”[0-i]

Chapter Two

[JP]87-jp

[I]0-i truly , truly hate [you]97-breaker , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say into the phone as [I]0-i stand outside [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . “ Do [you]97-breaker hate [me]0-i or do [you]97-breaker hate [yourself]97-breaker ? ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Because [you]97-breaker ’re [the one who lost the bet]2751-the one who lost the bet . ”[97-breaker] [My]87-jp shoe was untied , [I]87-jp called a time - out , [you]97-breaker did n’t listen , [you]97-breaker scored the winning basket , and basically . . . [you]97-breaker cheated . ”[87-jp] “ Jesus , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker huffs . “ What a load of crap and [you]97-breaker know it . [You]97-breaker did n’t call a time - out until [I]97-breaker juked [you]97-breaker , [you]97-breaker lunged , and [I]97-breaker blew past [you]97-breaker . [I]97-breaker beat [you]97-breaker fair and square . ”[97-breaker] Hand in one pocket , [I]0-i toe [the sidewalk]338-the sidewalk and say , “ Well , [we]2752-we needed a replay . ”[0-i] “ Why do n’t [you]97-breaker act like [a man]2703-a man , own up to [your]97-breaker loss , and take the consequences without complaining ? ”[87-jp] “ Because [I]0-i do n’t want to do this . ”[0-i] “ Then [you]97-breaker never should ’ve placed the bet . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , well . . . [I]97-breaker did n’t think [I]97-breaker was going to lose . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker laughs into the phone . “ Not [my]97-breaker problem . ”[97-breaker] “ Fuck . . . fine . ”[0-i] [I]0-i push [my]0-i hand through [my]0-i hair . “ But this is fucking stupid . ”[0-i] “ Let [me]97-breaker ask [you]97-breaker this — are [you]97-breaker mad because [you]97-breaker lost , or are [you]97-breaker mad because [you]97-breaker ’re going on a date that is n’t with the apple of [your]97-breaker eye ? ”[97-breaker] “ There ’s no apple of [my]97-breaker eye . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker snorts . [Dude]2754-dude , [you]2754-dude ’re not fooling [anyone]377-anyone . [You]2754-dude ’re infatuated with [Kelsey]89-kelsey and it bothers [you]2754-dude that [she]89-kelsey wants nothing to do with [you]2754-dude . ”[97-breaker] [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i guffaw so loudly that [I]0-i draw the attention of [a man walking into [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant]436-a man walking into the restaurant . [I]0-i give [him]436-a man walking into the restaurant a nod and then turn around for some privacy . [Kelsey]89-kelsey is [a pill]2756-a pill . [She]89-kelsey ’s uptight , annoying , and does n’t know a good thing when it ’s standing right in front of [her]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Meaning [you]0-i , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says , [his]97-breaker voice full of humor . “ Uh , yeah , clearly . Why would [I]97-breaker want to go on a date with someone who thinks more highly of a piece of gum stuck on [her]89-kelsey shoe than [me]97-breaker ? ”[97-breaker] “ Hmm , maybe [I]97-breaker should ask [Kelsey]89-kelsey out . [We]2757-we seem to have a lot in common . ”[97-breaker] “ Fuck . . . off , ”[0-i] [I]0-i groan as [I]0-i turn toward [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . [He]97-breaker better not ask [Kelsey]89-kelsey out . If [she]89-kelsey does n’t want [me]0-i — and [I]0-i ’m extremely likable — then [she]89-kelsey would n’t want [Breaker]97-breaker . [Kelsey]89-kelsey is blind and highhanded . And [I]0-i wish [I]0-i did n’t fantasize about [her]89-kelsey . Frequently . “ This was really stupid . [I]0-i know nothing about [this girl]2758-this girl . ”[0-i] “ Not true . [You]0-i know that [she]89-kelsey lives [here]2716-here , that [she]89-kelsey owns [[her]89-kelsey own business]2760-her own business , and that [she]89-kelsey believes roses are the most romantic flower in [the world]2761-the world . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , exactly . Why this fucking computer thought [we]2762-we ’d be a match , [I]89-kelsey have no idea . It probably saw [business owner]2763-business owner on [our]2762-we profiles and was like , done . Easy . Match made in [heaven]2764-heaven . [This place]2765-this place is over - hyped and ridiculous . ”[89-kelsey] “ It ’s not like [you]0-i have to stay that long . Just go have a drink and then — ”[0-i] “ That ’s not how this process works . [You]0-i have to stay and have a meal with [the person]2737-the person . It ’s the godforsaken program . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker snorts . “ Oh shit , really ? ”[97-breaker] “ Yes , really . Something about how [they]2737-the person want [you]0-i to get to know [the person]2737-the person before making a snap judgment and moving on to the next date . ”[0-i] “ Makes sense . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , for [someone who does n’t have to go on the date]2768-someone who does n’t have to go on the date . ”[97-breaker] [Dude]2754-dude , stop bitching and just go in there . Jesus , are n’t [you]97-breaker late ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance down at [my]0-i watch . Shit , six minutes late . [I]0-i sigh heavily and say , [I]0-i hate [you]97-breaker . ”[0-i] “ Ca n’t wait to hear all about the date . Have fun , [bro]2770-bro . ”[0-i] “ Fuck off . ”[0-i] [I]0-i hang up as [his]97-breaker laughter booms through the phone . Now , if [I]0-i were [a true asshole]439-a true asshole , someone who did n’t keep [their]440-their word , [I]0-i ’d go right past [this restaurant]441-this restaurant , hang out at [a bar]442-a bar , and catch the latest Rebels game . But even though that sounds incredibly appealing , [I]0-i ’m not [that guy]378-that guy . [I]0-i ca n’t stand [someone]364-someone up . [I]0-i would feel way too damn guilty . So , [I]0-i stuff [my]0-i phone in [my]0-i pocket and wish this night could be over before it begins . Going in Blind , what a stupid - as - shit concept . Letting [a computer]445-a computer match [you]446-you with [someone]364-someone without even seeing what [the person]2737-the person looks like . . . seems like reckless behavior if [you]446-you ask [me]0-i . Irresponsible , actually . And holding [them]2737-the person hostage until the meal is over ? Well , guess who ’s about to annihilate a meal to get the hell out of here ? [Me]0-i . [I]0-i open the door to [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant and am greeted by [a more - than - jubilant hostess]450-a more - than - jubilant hostess and an entirely too romantic atmosphere . Strings of large bulb lights are draped throughout [the space]451-the space and there ’s a plethora of hanging plants , the vines dangling just above the tables . The walls are floor - to - ceiling exposed white brick , the intimate tables all have that urban , metal feel , and the wood beams that run parallel with the ceiling soften the design . Sure . . . [the place]452-the place is nice . [I]0-i ’ll give [it]452-the place that . But the rest of this concept is stupid . “ Good evening , [sir]2771-sir , ”[453-the ebullient hostess] [the ebullient hostess]453-the ebullient hostess says . [You]2771-sir must be [JP]87-jp . ”[453-the ebullient hostess] Of course [they]2737-the person know who [I]0-i am . [I]0-i ’m sure [they]2737-the person have pictures of [every person who has been roped into a date here]454-every person who has been roped into a date here . Tacking on a smile , [I]0-i nod . “ That would be [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Wonderful . Well , [[your]2771-sir date]2772-your date is at [the bar]2773-the bar . Shall [I]0-i introduce [you]2771-sir , or would [you]2771-sir like to introduce [yourself]2771-sir ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance over at [the bar]2773-the bar and see [a woman in a purple dress sitting alone]456-a woman in a purple dress sitting alone . [I]0-i take in [her]456-a woman in a purple dress sitting alone long , brown hair that ’s loosely curled and draped over [her]456-a woman in a purple dress sitting alone bare shoulders . Hmm . . . Maybe this whole thing is n’t entirely stupid . [I]459-i can introduce [myself]459-i . ”[459-i] “ Wonderful . Have a nice evening . ”[459-i] “ Thank [you]456-a woman in a purple dress sitting alone , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before [I]0-i make [my]0-i way through [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . When [you]458-you sign up for the program , [they]459-i make [you]458-you choose an avatar , a name to represent [you]458-you but is n’t [your]458-you real - life name . [I]0-i went with [ManWearsPants]103-manwearspants , because [I]0-i was too annoyed to think of anything clever , and [the girl [I]0-i was matched with]460-the girl i was matched with , well . . . “ Hello , [you]460-the girl i was matched with must be [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as a greeting . [She]460-the girl i was matched with sets down [her]460-the girl i was matched with half - empty glass and turns around , almost in slow motion . [I]0-i hold [my]0-i breath , steeling [myself]0-i for what [this woman]461-this woman looks like , but when [her]460-the girl i was matched with face comes into view , [I]0-i ’m blown away by [the familiar , dark - haired beauty before [me]0-i]462-the familiar , dark - haired beauty before me . [Her]460-the girl i was matched with smile is wide , [her]460-the girl i was matched with eyes are hopeful , and when [she]460-the girl i was matched with flicks [her]460-the girl i was matched with hair over [her]460-the girl i was matched with shoulder and looks [me]0-i in the eyes . . . [her]460-the girl i was matched with face falls flat , [her]460-the girl i was matched with mouth turning into a thin , angry line . “ What the hell are [you]0-i doing [here]2716-here ? ”[460-the girl i was matched with] [she]460-the girl i was matched with asks . Oh man , this is fucking awesome . [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey . What are the odds ? Sticking both [my]0-i hands in [my]0-i pockets , [I]0-i gleefully say , [I]0-i ’m [your]460-the girl i was matched with date for the evening . ”[0-i] Glancing over [my]0-i shoulder , [she]460-the girl i was matched with seems to take a second to comprehend what ’s happening and then asks , “ Are [you]0-i [some sort of stalker who followed [me]460-the girl i was matched with here]2775-some sort of stalker who followed me here ? [JP]87-jp , this is going way too freaking far . [I]460-the girl i was matched with ’m about to go on a date with [someone]364-someone . [I]460-the girl i was matched with do n’t want [him]364-someone thinking [I]460-the girl i was matched with ’m here with [you]0-i , so if [you]0-i ’d please leave — ”[460-the girl i was matched with] “ ManWearsPants , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , and [her]460-the girl i was matched with eyes narrow . With a quick look around , [she]460-the girl i was matched with wets [her]460-the girl i was matched with lips , leans in , and in a tight voice , [she]460-the girl i was matched with asks , “ Why did [you]0-i just say that ? ”[460-the girl i was matched with] Oh , it ’s too fucking cute watching [her]460-the girl i was matched with nose scrunch up in confusion . [I]0-i was so , so wrong . This evening is going to be so much more fun than [I]0-i anticipated . “ That ’s [my]460-the girl i was matched with avatar . [ManWearsPants]103-manwearspants , and [you]0-i , [[my]460-the girl i was matched with irritated shrew]2777-my irritated shrew , are [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered , and [you]0-i can deny it all [you]0-i want , but [this dating program]2778-this dating program thinks [we]2779-we ’re the perfect match . ”[460-the girl i was matched with] “ Well , clearly it was wrong . ”[460-the girl i was matched with] The shrillness of [her]460-the girl i was matched with voice reaches a pitch nearly capable of breaking the bottles of liquor behind [her]460-the girl i was matched with . [She]460-the girl i was matched with stands from [her]460-the girl i was matched with chair , snatches [her]460-the girl i was matched with purse , and attempts to walk past [me]0-i when [I]0-i grab [her]460-the girl i was matched with hand . “ Excuse [me]0-i , [Miss Irritable]105-miss irritable , but [I]0-i believe [we]2779-we are n’t allowed to leave [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant until [we]2779-we share a meal together . It ’s in the terms and conditions . ”[0-i] [Her]460-the girl i was matched with eyes flash to [mine]0-i . [You]0-i ca n’t be serious . ”[460-the girl i was matched with] “ Oh , [I]0-i ’m very serious . [I]0-i believe it ’s section three , line five where it states the definitive guidelines , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i signed up for this dating app , and [I]0-i expect to get the full experience . ”[0-i] [I]0-i flash [her]460-the girl i was matched with a grin that [I]0-i know irritates [her]460-the girl i was matched with more than anything . “ Everything okay here ? ”[463-the hostess] [the hostess]463-the hostess asks , coming up to [us]464-we . “ Everything is great , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ No , everything is not great , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says . “ There must have been some mistake with the algorithm and the matching , because [I]86-kelsey know [this man]2781-this man , and let [me]86-kelsey tell [you]463-the hostess , [I]86-kelsey can say with full confidence that [we]464-we ’re not a match . ”[86-kelsey] “ Oh , how interesting . [I]463-the hostess do n’t think [we]464-we ’ve ever had this happen before . ”[463-the hostess] “ Ah , wonderful . So [you]463-the hostess can imagine how [we]464-we ’d just like to move on from this ill - fated inconvenience and go on [our]464-we way . ”[463-the hostess] [The hostess]463-the hostess shakes [her]463-the hostess head . [I]0-i can practically hear the agonized , inner howling from [Kelsey]86-kelsey , as if this is [her]86-kelsey own personal doomsday . [I]463-the hostess ’m so sorry , but unfortunately , [you]463-the hostess have to stay and enjoy a meal together . It ’s part of the terms . ”[463-the hostess] “ But [I]86-kelsey said [I]86-kelsey know [him]2782-him . ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey frantically jabs [her]86-kelsey hand in [my]0-i direction . Point all [you]0-i want , [lady]466-lady , not going to help . “ And [I]86-kelsey do n’t like [him]2782-him . [I]86-kelsey do n’t need to have a meal with [him]2782-him to figure that out . ”[86-kelsey] [You]86-kelsey wound [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper playfully in [her]86-kelsey ear . [She]86-kelsey swats [me]0-i away with an unexpected flick of [her]86-kelsey wrist . Whoa , almost got a fingernail to the eyeball . “ Do [you]0-i see what [I]86-kelsey ’m dealing with ? Trust [me]86-kelsey , [you]0-i do n’t want [us]2783-us sharing a meal together , it ’ll distract [the other people around [us]2783-us]2784-the other people around us . All [we]2783-us do is bicker . ”[86-kelsey] “ Then [we]2783-us ’ll give [you]0-i one of [our]2783-us new private tables in [the loft area]2785-the loft area . ”[463-the hostess] [The hostess]463-the hostess smirks and then nods toward the stairs to the right . “ Right this way . ”[463-the hostess] [You]0-i ca n’t be serious , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says . “ Looks like [she]86-kelsey is serious , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , pressing [my]0-i hand to [her]86-kelsey lower back and guiding [her]86-kelsey forward . [You]0-i ’re really going to make [me]0-i have dinner with [him]2786-him ? ”[0-i] [The hostess]463-the hostess does n’t answer , [she]463-the hostess just keeps walking , and [I]0-i keep pushing [Kelsey]86-kelsey forward , a smile on [my]0-i face the entire time . [Here]2716-here [I]0-i thought the night was going to be a complete bust , but it ’s turned into a night in which [I]0-i ’m very interested in taking part . “ This is ridiculous . [I]470-we should n’t be held against [my]470-we will . ”[470-we] [We]470-we walk up [the stairs]471-the stairs . “ This program is a load of crock if [you]463-the hostess think [I]470-we should be matched with [JP]87-jp . Did [you]463-the hostess even do a background check ? ”[470-we] [We]470-we reach [the loft]472-the loft , [a private space draped in white linen curtains and twinkle lights]473-a private space draped in white linen curtains and twinkle lights . There ’s one table in the middle , surrounded by an ambiance suited only for [intimate lovers]474-intimate lovers , [two people tangling in [each other]333-each other ’s lives with romantic interludes , long , drawn - out stories of childhood , and far - off fantasies of what [their]477-their future might look like together]475-two people tangling in each other ’s lives with romantic interludes , long , drawn - out stories of childhood , and far - off fantasies of what their future might look like together . And then there ’s [me]0-i and [Kelsey]86-kelsey , the angry porcupine , rearing up [her]86-kelsey quills and ready to impale [me]0-i at [her]86-kelsey first chance . [This sensual room]478-this sensual room dripping in fairy - tale potential is about to get a show . “ There ’s nothing romantic between [us]470-we , nothing at all . Why is this happening ? ”[86-kelsey] [she]86-kelsey drones on . [The hostess]463-the hostess holds out a basket with a sign that so eloquently reads “ Unplug and be present ”[86-kelsey] and shakes it at [us]470-we , clearly and wordlessly stating [we]470-we must deposit [our]470-we lifelines within . [I]0-i plop [my]0-i phone in because , if anything , [I]0-i ’m an excellent rule follower . Panic sweeps through [Kelsey]86-kelsey ’s eyes as [she]86-kelsey stares down at the basket . “ What if [I]86-kelsey have an important phone call that comes in ? What if [I]86-kelsey need [[my]86-kelsey sister]414-my sister to fake a broken ankle so [I]86-kelsey can leave ? ”[86-kelsey] At least [she]86-kelsey ’s honest , but it does nothing to dissuade [the hostess]463-the hostess , and with a feral groan only heard through the depths of a dark , dank night , [Kelsey]86-kelsey puts [her]86-kelsey phone in the basket with [mine]0-i . Next , [we]470-we ’re shown to [our]470-we table , parallel to a quaint stone fireplace offering an orange glow for a very romantic evening . . . with [the priggish she - wolf]481-the priggish she - wolf . [[Your]0-i server]2788-your server ’s name is [Helix]106-helix . [He]2788-your server ’ll be joining [you]0-i shortly . Please let [us]470-we know if [you]0-i need anything , ”[463-the hostess] [the hostess]463-the hostess says before pulling out both chairs for [us]470-we . “ Yes , [I]86-kelsey need to get out of this date . How can [you]463-the hostess assist [me]86-kelsey in that ? ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey asks . [I]86-kelsey ’m sure [you]470-we two will have a beautiful evening together . Enjoy . ”[86-kelsey] And then [she]86-kelsey leaves , taking off [downstairs]483-downstairs and leaving [me]0-i completely alone in what some might refer to as [a dreamy loft]484-a dreamy loft with [Kelsey]86-kelsey . [A fuming , nostrils - flared Kelsey]485-a fuming , nostrils - flared kelsey . [A Kelsey who would most likely prefer to share [this space]487-this space with [anyone]377-anyone]486-a kelsey who would most likely prefer to share this space with anyone — and [I]0-i mean [anyone]377-anyone — but [me]0-i . [She]86-kelsey raises [her]86-kelsey hand and points at [me]0-i , [her]86-kelsey finger shaking as [she]86-kelsey speaks through clenched teeth . [You]0-i did this . [You]0-i planned this whole thing , did n’t [you]0-i ? ”[86-kelsey] “ What ? [You]0-i ’ve lost [your]0-i mind if [you]0-i think [I]86-kelsey have time in [my]86-kelsey day to figure out what kind of cheesy dating app [you]0-i ’re on , infiltrate the app , and then somehow compromise the system so [you]0-i and [I]86-kelsey are forced to have a date together . ”[86-kelsey] [I]86-kelsey knew it . ”[86-kelsey] [She]86-kelsey throws [her]86-kelsey hands in the air . “ God , and [you]0-i play [the fool]2789-the fool so well , when in reality , [you]0-i ’re a conniving birdbrain with nothing better to do than provoke [people]2736-people in [your]0-i path . ”[86-kelsey] [I]0-i take a seat at the table , pick up the napkin in front of [me]0-i , and rest it across [my]0-i lap . “ Firstly , [I]0-i said [I]0-i did n’t have time to do all that . Secondly , conniving birdbrain is an insult [I]0-i ’m going to have to store away for later . It ’s a good one . ”[0-i] “ Eww , do n’t try to be charming with [me]86-kelsey . ”[86-kelsey] [She]86-kelsey takes a seat as well , albeit reluctantly , and folds [her]86-kelsey napkin over [her]86-kelsey lap too . [She]86-kelsey drums [her]86-kelsey fingers on the table and takes in the lights around [us]490-us . “ What [a wasted room]2791-a wasted room . ”[86-kelsey] See , [I]0-i knew [she]86-kelsey ’d think that . Do [I]0-i know [this girl]2758-this girl or what ? [I]0-i lean forward and say , [You]86-kelsey know , [you]86-kelsey could try to make the most of this and attempt to be pleasant . ”[0-i] [Her]86-kelsey eyes shoot to [mine]0-i . “ Why , [JP]87-jp ? [I]107-touché thought [men]2682-men and [women who work with each other]2793-women who work with each other ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends . ”[107-touché] [Touché]107-touché . “ Not saying [we]490-us have to be [friends]2684-friends , but [you]87-jp could at least not act like [an uninspiring wench]2796-an uninspiring wench . ”[107-touché] “ Do [you]87-jp expect [me]106-helix to have a conversation with [you]87-jp ? ”[106-helix] “ That ’s what [normal people]2797-normal people usually do when [they]2797-normal people share a meal together . Unless there ’s a new trend [I]107-touché ’m unaware of . ”[107-touché] Just then , [Helix]106-helix comes up the stairs with glasses of water balanced precariously on [his]106-helix tray . After [he]106-helix sets them on the table , [he]106-helix stuffs [his]106-helix tray under [his]106-helix arm and says , “ Good evening . [[Our]2798-we hostess]2799-our hostess has informed [me]106-helix that [we]2798-we have a happy love nest up here . ”[106-helix] The deadpan look on [Kelsey]86-kelsey ’s face almost makes [me]0-i fall out of [my]0-i chair in laughter , but [I]0-i hold it together in fear of what would happen to [me]0-i if [I]0-i did laugh . After all , there are two knives on this table . [We]2798-we ’re in a bit of a rush , so if [you]86-kelsey do n’t mind , [we]2798-we ’d like to order , eat , and then get the hell out of here . ”[106-helix] “ Jesus , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper . “ Do n’t be rude to [the guy]2800-the guy . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]86-kelsey lets out a slow breath and then plasters on a smile . [I]106-helix ’m sorry . [Helix]106-helix , is it ? ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix nods . [You]0-i see , when [I]106-helix signed up for this app , [I]106-helix was under the impression that [I]106-helix ’d be set up with someone [I]106-helix might actually be interested in . [I]106-helix had all the hope of meeting [someone interesting]2801-someone interesting , [someone complex]2802-someone complex , [someone fun]2803-someone fun . [I]106-helix was truly planning on making a deep connection tonight . ”[106-helix] [Her]86-kelsey eyes snap to [mine]0-i . “ And when [I]86-kelsey say deep connection , [I]86-kelsey mean mentally . . . not physically . ”[86-kelsey] [I]0-i just grin . “ But [you]0-i see , [Helix]106-helix , instead of meeting someone who could have the potential to sweep [me]0-i off [my]0-i feet , [I]0-i was matched with [this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on [his]2804-this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on his finger than the people around him finger than the people around [him]2804-this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on his finger than the people around him]2804-this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on his finger than the people around him . Unfortunately , [I]0-i work with [him]2804-this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on his finger than the people around him and [I]0-i know enough about [him]2804-this insolent , vexatious human who thinks more highly of the hangnail on his finger than the people around him to understand that there ’s nothing — and [I]0-i mean absolutely nothing — [we]2805-we have in common . Therefore — ”[0-i] “ That ’s not what the readout on [your]86-kelsey profiles says . ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix clutches the tray tightly . [Kelsey]86-kelsey blinks . “ Excuse [me]86-kelsey ? ”[86-kelsey] [I]0-i heard there might be some trouble up here in [paradise]2806-paradise , and sometimes , when that happens , [we]2805-we print out the reason the computer connected [you]86-kelsey both . Would [you]86-kelsey like [me]0-i to read it to [you]86-kelsey ? ”[0-i] “ No , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say at the same time . [I]0-i would love nothing more than to hear why [Kelsey]86-kelsey and [I]0-i are suited for each other . ”[0-i] [I]0-i cross [my]0-i ankle over [my]0-i knee as [I]0-i scoot back [my]0-i chair and prepare [myself]0-i for what [I]0-i can only imagine will be an absolutely enlightening experience for [me]0-i and a horrific experience for [Kelsey]86-kelsey . From [his]492-his pocket , [Helix]106-helix pulls out a piece of paper and clears [his]492-his throat . [You]0-i were one of [our]2807-our highest matches in the system with a ninety - seven percent probable success rate . ”[492-his] HA ! Steam flies out of [Kelsey]86-kelsey ’s ears as [my]0-i grin just keeps growing wider and wider . [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered and [ManWearsPants]103-manwearspants . ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix turns to [me]0-i . “ Great name , by the way . ”[106-helix] [I]0-i nod at [him]106-helix . “ Thank [you]106-helix . ”[0-i] “ Oh [my]86-kelsey God , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey groans . “ There ’s absolutely no imagination to that name . ”[86-kelsey] “ As if [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered is a poetic masterpiece , ”[0-i] [I]0-i reply . “ Might as well have called [yourself]0-i PointsOutTheObvious . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]86-kelsey juts [her]86-kelsey hand at [me]0-i and looks at [Helix]106-helix . “ See what [I]106-helix ’m talking about ? Insufferable . ”[106-helix] Looking slightly weary , [Helix]106-helix takes a step back and continues reading . [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered and [ManWearsPants]2808-manwearspants are [both business owners within [the Los Angeles]2810-the los angeles area]2809-both business owners within the los angeles area . ”[106-helix] “ Whoa , that ’s a surprise to [no one]2811-no one . ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey folds [her]86-kelsey arms over [her]86-kelsey chest and , honestly , [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [her]86-kelsey this upset . One of the things [I]0-i ’ve always found interesting about [Kelsey]86-kelsey is [her]86-kelsey ability to stay composed , even when under an immense amount of pressure . [She]86-kelsey never shows emotion , but tonight , [I]0-i ’m experiencing a new side of [her]86-kelsey . [I]0-i kind of like it . “ From reviewing [their]2812-their backgrounds , [we]493-we ’ve established likeness in [parent]2813-parent abandonment . ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey falls silent . “ The desire to achieve , and a direct match in fears such as failure , not being loved , and being alone . ”[86-kelsey] [Her]86-kelsey eyes flash to [mine]0-i as [I]0-i quickly look away . Okay , what the fuck is that shit ? Sure , [we]493-we filled out a questionnaire , but what kind of invasive background check was done to figure that out ? [It]2814-it also determined that where [RosesAreRed]104-rosesarered is very structured and amorous in thought , [ManWearsPants]103-manwearspants can be pessimistic with an apathetic attitude , making these two puzzle pieces fit closely together , creating a continuous balance for a healthy relationship . ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix stuffs [his]106-helix paper back in [his]106-helix pocket and then holds up a pen and paper . “ Now , what can [I]106-helix get [you]493-we two for dinner ? ”[106-helix]

Chapter Three

[KELSEY]86-kelsey

Well , [Helix]106-helix knows how to shut [two people]494-two people up real quick . After [we]493-we both put in an order for the meatloaf and mashed potatoes — [I’m]0-i ignoring the fact that [we]493-we ordered the same thing , thank [you]495-you very much — [Helix]106-helix took off down the stairs , but not before telling [us]493-we that [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen is short - staffed so the meal might take a bit longer to come out . Just . . . great . Wonder if that ’s intentional so “ dates ”[108-bad guy] have to stay longer . An instrumental cover of [Bad Guy]108-bad guy plays overhead as [JP]87-jp and [I]0-i look everywhere but at [each other]333-each other . [Helix]106-helix brought in the truth bomb and completely obliterated the evening . Even the nonstop annoyance from [JP]87-jp has shut down as [he]87-jp twirls [his]87-jp water glass on the table . The silence is deafening . Uncomfortable . And even though [I]0-i ca n’t stand sitting across from [him]87-jp at the moment , [I]0-i ca n’t handle the silence . It ’s more painful than not talking . “ So . . . do [you]87-jp often eat meatloaf ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , unsure of what else to say . When [he]87-jp looks up , [his]87-jp brow lifts in this Regé - Jean Page sort of way , like a fishhook grabbed it , tugged it up , and left it there . And does it take [me]0-i straight back to a scene in [Bridgerton]5-bridgerton that had [me]0-i melting into [my]0-i couch ? Of course , but does it ease the protective ice shield that has formed around [me]0-i because of this unfortunate evening ? Not even a little . “ Are [you]87-jp attempting conversation with [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp ca n’t possibly expect [me]87-jp to sit here in silence for God knows how long . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t know , watching [you]87-jp squirm from a lack of conversation seems enjoyable . ”[87-jp] “ Why are [you]87-jp [an ass]2815-an ass ? ”[87-jp] “ Could n’t [you]87-jp tell from the rundown [Helix]106-helix just gave [us]2816-us ? Abandonment issues and false façades are high on that list for defense mechanisms . Does n’t take [a psychologist]2817-a psychologist to figure that out , [babe]2728-babe , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . “ Does n’t give [you]2728-babe an excuse to act like [an asshole]2819-an asshole . [I]87-jp grew up without [a dad]2820-a dad and [you]2728-babe do n’t see [me]87-jp parading around with an indignant attitude . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp laughs so loud it startles [me]0-i backward . “ Did [you]0-i completely forget the ‘ [I]87-jp hate JP Cane ’ one - person show [you]0-i just put on for [the restaurant staff]2821-the restaurant staff ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , pardon [me]87-jp for being flummoxed when [I]87-jp found out [you]0-i were [[my]87-jp date]2822-my date for the evening . In [my]87-jp head , [I]87-jp was picturing this night going a tad differently . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i see . And how did [you]0-i picture it going ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i take a sip of [my]0-i water . “ Not like this . ”[0-i] [You]0-i said that , and given [we]2823-we have a long dinner in front of [us]2823-we , why do n’t [you]0-i educate [me]87-jp on how [you]0-i thought tonight would pan out ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m not sharing that with [you]0-i . [You]0-i ’re just going to make fun of [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Why would [I]0-i do that ? ”[0-i] “ Because [you]0-i ’re [an oppressor of hopes and dreams]2824-an oppressor of hopes and dreams . ”[87-jp] “ How little [you]0-i know [me]0-i , [Kelsey]86-kelsey . ”[0-i] [I]0-i eye [him]498-you for a few seconds and then ask , “ So if [I]0-i tell [you]498-you what [I]0-i thought would happen tonight , [you]498-you ’re not going to make fun of [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i know , it might behoove [you]0-i to get to know [me]87-jp . Then [you]0-i might not have such a low opinion of [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Doubtful . “ Fine , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , chin held high . “ But if [you]498-you make fun of [me]0-i , [I]0-i ’m throwing [my]0-i water in [your]498-you face . ”[0-i] “ That ’s fair . ”[498-you] [He]498-you nods at [me]0-i . “ Go ahead , light [me]498-you up with [your]0-i fantasies . ”[498-you] [God]92-god , [I]0-i really despise [him]498-you . Clearing [my]0-i throat , [I]0-i say , “ Well , [I]0-i signed up for this program because [I]0-i heard great things about it from [Noely Clark]98-noely clark . ”[0-i] [Noely]109-noely , one of the hosts from Good Morning , [Malibu]99-malibu ? ”[498-you] [he]498-you asks . “ Yes . [I]498-you interviewed [her]109-noely and [[her]109-noely husband]2825-her husband for [my]498-you podcast — ”[498-you] [You]498-you have a podcast ? What ’s it called ? ”[0-i] Feeling shy , because [I]0-i know [he]498-you ’s probably judging [me]0-i , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i do , and the name is irrelevant . [I]0-i would rather [you]498-you not listen to it . ”[0-i] “ Afraid [I]0-i might become [a long - time listener]2826-a long - time listener ? ”[0-i] “ Are [you]498-you teasing [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , lifting [my]0-i water . [He]498-you holds up [his]498-you rather large hands . “ No , not teasing . Just engaging in conversation . ”[498-you] “ Try using less sarcasm in [your]498-you ‘ engagements . ’ ”[0-i] “ Noted . ”[498-you] [He]498-you gestures with [his]498-you hand . “ Proceed . ”[498-you] “ Well , [I]0-i interviewed [them]2827-them for [my]0-i podcast and while [we]2828-we were n’t recording , [she]2829-she told [me]0-i all about Going in Blind . Since [I]0-i ’m in the market to settle down with [someone]364-someone . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause to assess [his]498-you expression , and when [he]498-you does n’t crack a smile , [I]0-i proceed . [I]0-i thought [I]0-i ’d give it a try . [I]0-i heard nothing but good things , so when [I]0-i was getting ready , [I]0-i was actually kind of nervous . [I]0-i assumed [I]0-i ’d be meeting [someone interesting]2801-someone interesting , someone like - minded , someone [I]0-i matched well with . [You]2832-you can only imagine [my]0-i disappointment when [you]2832-you turned out to be [ManWearsPants]103-manwearspants . ”[0-i] [He]498-you lifts [his]498-you glass casually and , with [his]498-you eyes locked in a deep stare on [me]0-i , takes a sip of water . There ’s something enigmatic but also annoying about [the Cane men]499-the cane men . [They]499-the cane men have excellent self - control , particularly at curbing [their]499-the cane men initial reactions to things . [They]499-the cane men ’re generally subtle with [their]499-the cane men movements , showing great restraint . [I]0-i ’ve seen it in [Huxley]90-huxley and now in [JP]87-jp . “ Disappointment , indeed , ”[498-you] [he]498-you says . [I]498-you ’m sorry if [I]498-you ’ve ruined [your]0-i evening . ”[498-you] “ Ugh , do n’t do that . ”[499-the cane men] “ Do n’t do what ? ”[498-you] [he]498-you asks , remaining stoic . “ Play the bruised ego card . [You]2832-you and [I]498-you both know there ’s nothing about this scenario that hurts [your]2832-you feelings . [You]2832-you ’re thriving off the fact that [we]2833-we were matched merely because it ’s ruined [my]498-you evening and hopes for a possible match . ”[498-you] [I]498-you do n’t thrive off that , ”[498-you] [he]498-you says . [I]498-you find it somewhat comical , sure , but [I]498-you do kind of feel bad for [you]498-you . ”[498-you] [I]498-you do n’t need [you]498-you feeling bad for [me]498-you . Save [your]498-you pity for [someone else]2834-someone else . ”[498-you] [I]498-you do n’t pity [you]498-you . There ’s a difference . If [I]498-you pitied [you]498-you , then that would mean [I]498-you have a low opinion of [you]498-you , and that ’s not the case . [I]498-you just feel bad that [you]498-you consider [your]498-you evening ruined by [my]498-you presence . ”[498-you] “ Why do [you]498-you have to say it like that ? Like [you]498-you ’re [the victim]2835-the victim . ”[498-you] “ Trust [me]500-his , [babe]2728-babe , [I]500-his ’m never [the victim]2835-the victim . ”[500-his] [He]500-his shifts in [his]500-his chair , and [I]0-i can tell [the easygoing , teasing JP]501-the easygoing , teasing jp is gone — especially since [Helix]106-helix laid out [our]502-our backgrounds for [each other]333-each other — and in [his]500-his place is [a guarded man]504-a guarded man , one [I]0-i have n’t seen before . [I]0-i was just expecting something else , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , folding [my]0-i hands in [my]0-i lap . [I]0-i was excited to meet [someone new]2838-someone new . ”[0-i] Once again , [JP]87-jp studies [me]0-i , intent , [his]87-jp eyes blazing over [me]0-i , practically eating [me]0-i alive as they roam from [my]0-i eyes to [my]0-i mouth , to [my]0-i chest . . . Finally , [he]87-jp says , [I]87-jp ’m here because of a bet . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i gaze flashes to [his]87-jp . “ What ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp holds up [his]87-jp hand to calm [my]0-i simmering rage . “ Before [you]0-i think [I]87-jp intentionally came here to ruin [your]0-i night , that ’s not the case . The fact that [we]2839-we ’re here together , sharing a meal , is pure coincidence . But the reason [I]87-jp signed up for this program is because [I]87-jp lost a bet to [Breaker]97-breaker . ”[87-jp] “ What kind of bet ? ”[87-jp] [We]2839-we were playing one - on - one basketball . [Our]2839-we egos got the best of [us]2839-we and [we]2839-we decided whoever lost had to follow through on whatever [the other person]2840-the other person chose . It was a tied game . [I]87-jp was ready to force [Breaker]97-breaker to go to some baking class [I]87-jp knew [he]97-breaker ’d absolutely hate , and [he]97-breaker apparently had plans for [me]87-jp to do this . [I]87-jp lost , [he]97-breaker told [me]87-jp what [I]87-jp had to do , and here [I]87-jp am . ”[87-jp] “ So , [you]87-jp ’re here because [you]87-jp lost a bet ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes . ”[87-jp] “ What if [your]87-jp date was n’t [me]87-jp ? What would [you]87-jp have done then ? ”[87-jp] “ Attempted to enjoy the evening . Not sure where [your]87-jp disdainful opinion of [me]0-i started , but [I]0-i ’m [a pretty good guy]2841-a pretty good guy . Sure , the thought of not following through on the date tonight did cross [my]0-i mind , but [I]0-i knew [I]0-i could n’t do that . So , [my]0-i plan was to try to strike up conversation , enjoy a meal , then end the night with a wave . [I]0-i planned to spend the rest of the evening in [my]0-i pool , naked on a raft , staring up at the stars . ”[0-i] [My]0-i treacherous mind conjures up an image of just that , [JP]87-jp naked on [a raft]505-a raft , floating in a pool , [his]87-jp wild tattoos on display . It ’s , uh . . . it ’s a pleasant visual . “ But now [I]87-jp ’m here with [you]87-jp , suffering through this conversation and begging [the kitchen staff]2842-the kitchen staff to hurry up with [my]87-jp meal so [I]87-jp can go back to [[my]87-jp house]2843-my house . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks and asks , “ What do [you]87-jp plan on doing after this ? ”[87-jp] Asking [Lottie]89-kelsey where [Huxley]90-huxley got that new “ toy ”[87-jp] so [I]0-i can ease the tension that has built in [my]0-i shoulders from this evening . “ Probably folding and ironing laundry while watching a new romcom on Netflix . ”[87-jp] “ Let [me]87-jp guess — it ’s a flick about [two people]494-two people meeting , falling madly in love , then [the guy]2800-the guy does something stupid , [the girl]2846-the girl gets mad , [they]494-two people break up only for [him]2800-the guy to make a grand gesture to win back [her]2846-the girl hand , and then it ’s sealed with a happily ever after . ”[87-jp] [Chin]110-chin held high , [I]0-i say , “ If [you]87-jp must know , yes , that would be the general idea . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp snorts . [You]0-i really believe life is like that ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’d like to believe there ’s some validity to those stories . If anything , [they]2847-they give [me]87-jp hope for the kind of life [I]87-jp could have . ”[87-jp] [They]2847-they ’re far - fetched fiction . Life does n’t revolve around [the movie star falling in love with [the lonesome construction worker]2849-the lonesome construction worker and giving up everything to live in [a quirky town]2850-a quirky town]2848-the movie star falling in love with the lonesome construction worker and giving up everything to live in a quirky town . ”[0-i] [You]0-i know , [JP]87-jp , just because [your]0-i life does n’t work that way , does n’t mean [others]2851-others do n’t . Look at [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley , for instance . [Their]2852-they love story reads heavily like a romantic comedy , with all the twists and turns that a passionate love affair can offer . ”[87-jp] [They]2852-they ran into [each other]333-each other on [the sidewalk]338-the sidewalk and struck up a deal to help [each other]333-each other . That does n’t really scream romance to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ It ’s a classic trope . ”[0-i] “ A what ? ”[506-you] [he]506-you asks , [his]506-you face twisting in confusion . “ Ugh . ”[506-you] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes , girding [myself]0-i to educate [this man]2781-this man on the simple pleasures of the romance community . “ A trope is a plot or theme that helps tell a story . For instance , if [I]0-i were to label [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s romance , [I]0-i would easily call it ‘ enemies to [lovers]2856-lovers ’ since [they]2852-they hated [each other]333-each other , with a smattering of ‘ fake fiancée ’ and a touch of ‘ billionaire . ’ All wildly popular . ”[0-i] “ Billionaire is a trope ? ”[506-you] Both [his]506-you brows raise now in suspicion . “ A very popular one . ”[506-you] “ So , let [me]0-i get this straight — [you]506-you think that [your]506-you life is going to be some sort of romcom with these tropes ? ”[0-i] “ No , but [I]0-i was hoping for better company than [the one currently present]2858-the one currently present , ”[0-i] [I]0-i snap at [him]506-you , taking another sip of [my]0-i water . “ What ’s wrong with [the present company]2859-the present company ? [We]2860-we ’re having a healthy conversation . ”[0-i] “ This is what [you]506-you consider healthy ? [I]506-you ’m on the verge of either shooting [my]506-you water up [your]506-you nose or roundhouse kicking [you]506-you to the ground . How does that scream healthy conversation ? ”[506-you] [His]506-you lips press together and then after [he]506-you casually leans back in [his]506-you chair again , [he]506-you says , “ Seems to [me]506-you like [you]0-i need to go to some anger management classes . ”[506-you] [I]0-i wonder if [I]0-i can get away with forking [JP]87-jp to death .

* * *

“ That ’s the dumbest movie ever . ”[506-you] “ Excuse [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , [my]0-i eyes nearly popping out of their sockets . The audacity of [the man]355-the man . [You]506-you ’re telling [me]355-the man , out of all the movies in [the entire world]2861-the entire world , [your]506-you all - time favorite , the one [you]506-you can watch over and over again is Sleepless in [Seattle]7-seattle ? ”[355-the man] “ Yes . When [Harry Met Sally]111-harry is a close second . ”[506-you] [Meg Ryan]112-meg ryan fan , are [we]2862-we ? ”[506-you] “ How can [you]355-the man not be a fan of [her]2863-her delightful charm ? ”[355-the man] [I]506-you mean , [she]2863-her ’s fine , but [I]506-you ’m not going to seek out a movie because [she]2863-her ’s in it . ”[506-you] “ Well , [you]506-you should . Maybe [you]506-you could learn something from watching [her]2863-her movies , become more desirable to be around . ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man smooths [his]355-the man hand over [his]355-the man jaw and says , “ Have n’t had any complaints about [my]355-the man company being desirable . ”[355-the man] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes and , because [our]509-our food still has n’t arrived , [I]0-i ask , “ So , what makes Sleepless in [Seattle]7-seattle so far beneath [you]355-the man ? ”[0-i] “ It ’s unbelievable . ”[0-i] “ How so ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask in shock . “ Well , besides the fact that [a child]2864-a child not only purchased a plane ticket by [himself]2864-a child , but [he]2864-a child flew across [the country]2865-the country with no parental guidance , found [his]2864-a child way to [the Empire State Building]8-the empire state building , and reached the top without [one person]2866-one person questioning [him]2864-a child ? Yeah , that would never happen . But also , because [Meg Ryan]112-meg ryan is [a clear stalker in this movie]2867-a clear stalker in this movie . ”[0-i] [She]2867-a clear stalker in this movie ’s not [a stalker]2868-a stalker . [She]2867-a clear stalker in this movie ’s merely curious . ”[0-i] “ Be curious about [[your]0-i neighbor]2869-your neighbor , not [some questionable father all the way across [the country]2865-the country]2870-some questionable father all the way across the country . ”[0-i] [His]2870-some questionable father all the way across the country story touched [her]2867-a clear stalker in this movie . ”[0-i] [He]2870-some questionable father all the way across the country ’s [a forlorn father]2872-a forlorn father trying to find some ass through a radio show . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp claps . “ Job well done , [Tom Hanks]113-tom hanks . [You]113-tom hanks were able to sweep [lonely and desperate women]2873-lonely and desperate women off [their]2873-lonely and desperate women feet from miles away . ”[87-jp] “ Oh [my]0-i God , [you]113-tom hanks ’re . . . [you]113-tom hanks ’re gross . ”[0-i] “ Gross ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp hand landing on the table . “ How am [I]87-jp [the gross one]2874-the gross one ? [I]87-jp ’m not chasing tail across [the country]2865-the country , using [[my]87-jp son]2876-my son as bait . ”[87-jp] “ Um , [Sam Baldwin]114-sam baldwin had no idea that ’s what was happening . If [you]113-tom hanks recall , [he]114-sam baldwin was absolutely distraught over [[his]114-sam baldwin son]2877-his son ’s disappearance . ”[0-i] “ Okay , sure , [he]114-sam baldwin pulled [his]114-sam baldwin hand from under [[his]114-sam baldwin woman]2878-his woman ’s shirt long enough to realize [[his]114-sam baldwin son]2877-his son was missing . Great parenting . But put all of that aside , and [you]113-tom hanks really think [they]2880-they would ’ve fallen for [each other]333-each other ? [They]2880-they caught one glimpse of [each other]333-each other and then all of a sudden , [they]2880-they were at the top of [the Empire State Building]8-the empire state building , and in love ? There ’s absolutely no believability to [their]2880-they relationship . If that movie had an epilogue , it would show [them]2880-they awkwardly realizing the next morning that [they]2880-they live over three thousand miles apart , [he]510-you lives on [a houseboat]2883-a houseboat , and [they]2880-they have absolutely nothing in common other than idiotic spontaneity . ”[510-you] [I]0-i stare at [him]510-you , [my]0-i body thrumming with irritation . The back of [my]0-i neck feels like it ’s on fire , [my]0-i palms are so sweaty [I]0-i have to restrain [myself]0-i from wiping them on [my]0-i dress , and [my]0-i jaw is clenched so tight that [my]0-i cheeks are hurting . “ Are [you]510-you done ripping apart [my]510-you favorite movie ? ”[510-you] [I]510-you think so . ”[510-you] [He]510-you smiles . “ Good . Now , Rotten Tomatoes , tell [me]510-you [your]510-you favorite movie . ”[510-you] “ Why , so [you]510-you can pretend [you]510-you do n’t like it and attempt to give it the tongue - lashing [I]510-you just unleashed on [your]510-you favorite movie ? [I]510-you ’m good , thanks . ”[510-you] “ How do [you]510-you know [I]510-you ’m going to be negative about [your]510-you favorite movie ? [I]510-you might like it . ”[510-you] “ How do [I]510-you know [you]510-you ’re going to be negative ? Because for the past five minutes , [I]510-you ’ve watched [you]510-you mentally plot [my]510-you death . [My]510-you guess is when [we]2884-we ’re done with this dinner , [you]510-you ’re going to push [me]510-you down the stairs on [our]2884-we way out , tumbling [me]510-you into a coma . ”[510-you] Wrong . It involves a solid twenty minutes of forking . . . and not the sexual kind ! [You]510-you know , if [I]510-you ’m going to get caught , planting [my]510-you knife in [your]510-you chest might be more satisfactory . ”[510-you] “ Jesus , ”[511-i] [he]511-i says , horrified . Embarrassment falls over [me]0-i . The knife might have gone a bit too far . [You]510-you ’re right , that was uncalled for . [I]511-i think the trip down the stairs is more [my]511-i style . ”[511-i] [He]511-i chuckles . “ Glad [I]511-i do n’t have to whisk [your]510-you knife away when [you]510-you ’re not looking . ”[511-i] “ Do n’t be so dramatic . [I]510-you do n’t look good in orange . Committing a crime is not for [me]510-you . ”[510-you] “ So orange is not the new black for [you]511-i ? ”[511-i] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i cross [my]0-i leg over the other and ask , “ So , what ’s [your]511-i favorite movie ? [You]511-i owe [me]0-i this much . ”[0-i] [I]511-i owe [you]511-i nothing . ”[511-i] [JP]87-jp , this has been an uneventful evening that [I]511-i ’m begging to end and [you]511-i ’ve made it that much more unbearable . Please , delight [me]511-i with [your]511-i nonsensical movie choice . Or [I]511-i ’m going to start guessing . ”[511-i] “ That sounds more appealing . Start guessing . ”[115-heaving] [Heaving]115-heaving a heavy sigh , [I]0-i compose [myself]0-i and ask , “ Is it porn ? ”[0-i] “ Come on , [I]511-i have more class than that . ”[511-i] “ Debatable , but [I]0-i ’ll rule that out just for now . Hmm . ”[0-i] [I]0-i make a show of tapping [my]0-i chin . “ Based on [your]511-i disdain for romantic comedies , [I]0-i ’m going to lean more toward some blood - and - gore action flick . And since [you]511-i try to hold the high - and - mighty card , [I]0-i ’m going to guess [your]511-i favorite movie is something like [Braveheart]116-braveheart . ”[0-i] “ Nope . ”[512-i] [He]512-i shakes [his]512-i head . “ The Godfather ? ”[512-i] “ Not even close . ”[0-i] “ Eww , is it [Rocky]117-rocky ? ”[0-i] “ That would be laughable . ”[0-i] [I]0-i fold [my]0-i arms and really study [him]512-i . “ Umm , [Saving Private Ryan]118-saving private ryan , [The Green Mile]9-the green mile , [Philadelphia]10-philadelphia . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]512-i just guessing [Tom Hanks]113-tom hanks movies now ? ”[0-i] “ Just checking , seeing if any of those sparked any interest . [I]0-i can see that [they]2885-they did n’t . So now [I]0-i ’m going to go the less prolific route and say [Step Brothers]119-step brothers , 40 - Year - Old Virgin , [Billy Madison]120-billy madison . ”[0-i] “ All funny , but no . ”[0-i] “ Ugh , [I]0-i do n’t know . Give [me]0-i a hint . Who stars in it ? ”[0-i] [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews . ”[0-i] [Julie]121-julie andrews — what ? [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews as in [Mary Poppins Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews ? ”[512-i] [He]512-i nods . [You]512-i ’re messing with [me]512-i . ”[512-i] “ No . What ’s wrong with [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews ? ”[0-i] “ Nothing , [I]0-i just . . . [I]0-i do n’t know , [I]0-i was thinking [you]512-i were going to say someone like [Liam Neeson]122-liam neeson , [Sam Elliott]123-sam elliott , or [Jeff Bridges]124-jeff . [You]512-i know , [all rough and gruff , ready - to - seek - revenge actors]2886-all rough and gruff , ready - to - seek - revenge actors . Not [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews , with [her]121-julie andrews blonde pixie haircut . ”[0-i] “ What little [you]512-i know of [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [You]512-i ’re not kidding , [your]512-i favorite movie has [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews in it ? ”[0-i] “ Yup . ”[512-i] [He]512-i smirks . “ What is it ? ”[512-i] “ Is n’t it obvious ? ”[0-i] “ Not even in the slightest . It ’s truly more confusing than anything . So , [I]0-i ’m at a loss . The only [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews movies coming to mind are , well , [Mary Poppins]121-julie andrews and The Princess Diaries and [I]0-i think [I]0-i ’ll fall out of [my]0-i chair if any of those are the answer . ”[0-i] “ Nope , neither of those classics . ”[512-i] [You]512-i ’ve watched both of them ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , still in disbelief . This is a side of JP [I]0-i never expected . [He]512-i ’s [one of [three brothers]514-three brothers]513-one of three brothers . “ Of course [I]514-three brothers have . [Mary Poppins]121-julie andrews is wholesome , and [I]514-three brothers once dated [this girl who was obsessed with [Anne Hathaway]125-anne hathaway and made [me]514-three brothers watch every movie of [hers]125-anne hathaway]2887-this girl who was obsessed with anne hathaway and made me watch every movie of hers . [The Devil Wears Prada]126-the devil wears prada was a complete nightmare , by the way . What kind of shit ending was that ? ”[514-three brothers] [I]512-i thought [you]512-i did n’t like romantic comedies ? ”[512-i] [I]514-three brothers do n’t , and that movie is one of the main reasons . ”[514-three brothers] “ Okay , so if it ’s not one of those . . . what is it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . “ Ca n’t possibly be The Sound of Music . ”[0-i] “ Why do [you]512-i assume that ? ”[512-i] [he]512-i asks , looking entirely too serious . No . That ca n’t be it . The Sound of Music ? No freaking way . “ Uh , because it ’s a musical and , excuse [me]514-three brothers if [I]514-three brothers ’m wrong , [I]514-three brothers do n’t really see [you]0-i as [a toe - tapping , musical kind of man]2888-a toe - tapping , musical kind of man . ”[514-three brothers] [You]0-i know , [you]0-i really should n’t judge [people]2736-people based on the little knowledge [you]0-i have of [them]2736-people . ”[512-i] [He]512-i adjusts the cuffs on [his]512-i sleeves and says , “ For [your]0-i information , The Sound of Music is [my]512-i favorite movie . It has everything [you]0-i need , [a hot nanny ex - nun who can sing]2890-a hot nanny ex - nun who can sing , [a grumpy , Nazi - fighting hero , beautifully composed music , betrayal , and suspense]2891-a grumpy , nazi - fighting hero , beautifully composed music , betrayal , and suspense . ”[512-i] [I]0-i ’m stunned . In disbelief . Sure , it ’s an okay movie , but a favorite ? “ Why do n’t [I]512-i believe [you]0-i ? ”[512-i] [He]512-i shrugs . “ That ’s on [you]0-i if [you]0-i choose to believe [me]512-i or not . ”[512-i] “ If [I]512-i had [my]512-i phone , [I]512-i would text [Huxley]90-huxley right now and see if that ’s the truth . ”[512-i] “ When [you]0-i get [your]0-i phone , have at it . [He]512-i knows [I]512-i love watching [Maria]127-maria twirl around on [a mountaintop]2892-a mountaintop . One year , for Halloween , [I]512-i dressed up as [Maria]127-maria , and another year , [I]512-i was [Baron Von Trapp]128-baron von trapp . And then [Maria]127-maria again , because the costume was too good to only wear once . ”[512-i] [I]512-i still . . . [I]512-i do n’t believe [you]512-i . ”[512-i] “ Suit [yourself]0-i . But [I]512-i ’ll tell [you]0-i this , [I]512-i own the cassette tape , the CD , the VHS , the DVR , the Blu Ray , and a digital copy of The Sound of Music . Not to mention , [I]512-i have a treasured signed autograph picture from [Julie Andrews]121-julie andrews . [I]512-i keep them all in a fireproof safe in [[my]512-i house]2843-my house in an undisclosed location . ”[512-i] “ Okay , now [I]515-he know [you]0-i ’re lying . ”[515-he] [He]515-he just shrugs , which is such an infuriating response . It ’s like [he]515-he does n’t even care enough to come up with something proper , just offers a know - it - all shrug . And , no , [I]0-i do n’t believe [him]515-he , not for one second . There ’s no way after the prolific criticism [he]515-he had about Sleepless in [Seattle]7-seattle that [he]515-he can sit back and say The Sound of Music — a love story in [its]516-its own right — is [his]515-he favorite movie . Nope , [he]515-he ’s just trying to provoke [me]0-i and [I]0-i ’m not going to fall for it . Nice try . [Doe]129-doe , a deer , a female deer — ”[515-he] “ Will [you]515-he knock that off ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [our]517-our food finally arrives . [God]92-god , just eat [your]515-he food and be quiet so [we]517-our can get the hell out of here . ”[0-i] “ Are n’t [you]515-he [a pleasant dinner companion]2894-a pleasant dinner companion ? ”[515-he] [You]518-you ’ve been nonstop singing , humming , beat - bopping songs since [you]518-you brought up The Sound of Music and [I]515-he ’m about to lose [my]515-he mind . [I]515-he ’m going to have ‘ How do [you]518-you solve a problem like [Maria]127-maria ? ’ stuck in [my]515-he head for eternity . ”[515-he] “ Could be worse . ”[0-i] “ How could it be worse ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Could be a completely inappropriate song . Something along the lines of . . . ”[0-i] [He]518-you leans forward and in a seductive voice , says , [My]518-you neck , [my]518-you back , lick — ”[518-you] “ Okay , [I]0-i got [your]518-you point , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , holding [my]0-i hand up . “ Have [you]518-you heard that one ? ”[0-i] [Everyone]2734-everyone has heard that one , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while sticking a forkful of meatloaf into [my]0-i mouth . The most delicious meatloaf [I]0-i ’ve ever had . So good that [I]0-i would actually consider coming on another date with [JP]87-jp just to have this meatloaf . . . Yeah , suffer through another night of this , that ’s how good it is . “ Have [you]87-jp ever entertained such an adventure as that song suggests ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i cheeks heat up immediately as [I]0-i stare at the swirl of garlic in [my]0-i mashed potatoes . [I]0-i do n’t see how that ’s any of [your]87-jp business . ”[0-i] “ It ’s not , but [we]2896-we have to kill the time somehow , so [I]87-jp ’m going to assume from [your]87-jp bothered answer , that would be a no . ”[87-jp] “ As if [you]0-i ’ve done something like that . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp delivers that rakish brow once more . [He]87-jp does n’t have to say anything , that one expression says it all . [He]87-jp has licked from well , [you]519-you know . . . [I]87-jp ’ve done pretty much everything , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , and [I]87-jp ’ve delivered . . . every single time . ”[87-jp] “ Uh - huh , [I]0-i ’m sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say sarcastically . Ignoring [me]0-i , [he]87-jp continues , [I]87-jp always make sure [[my]87-jp girl]2897-my girl comes , even if [I]87-jp do n’t . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s great . ”[0-i] [I]0-i offer [him]87-jp a closed - mouth smile . [I]0-i ’ve even faked it a time or two , just to get the hell out of there , [you]519-you know ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i fork pauses midway to [my]0-i mouth as [I]0-i look over [our]520-our water glasses and right at [his]87-jp smirking face . “ There ’s no way [you]87-jp fake it . [You]87-jp ca n’t fake sperm . ”[0-i] [Girls]2898-girls do n’t check the condom , unless that ’s something [you]87-jp do . ”[0-i] “ Eww , no , gross . Please change the subject , [I]87-jp hardly see how this is an appetizing conversation . ”[87-jp] “ Sex is always an appetizing conversation . ”[0-i] “ Yes , well , not the details of [you]87-jp acting like [you]87-jp fake it and what ’s in or not in [your]87-jp condom . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp ’m not acting like [I]87-jp fake it . . . [I]87-jp do . ”[87-jp] “ Okay , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [I]0-i give [him]87-jp a thumbs up . “ Good for [you]87-jp on [your]87-jp accomplishments . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp lips quirk to the side before [he]87-jp lifts [his]87-jp fork to [his]87-jp mouth . That ’s right , eat up so [we]521-we can get the hell out of here . Honestly , conversation with [this man]2781-this man has been one failure after another . [I]0-i felt hope with the movie topic , but that burned down really quickly with [him]87-jp tearing apart Sleepless in [Seattle]7-seattle . And [I]0-i would never admit this to [him]87-jp , but now [I]0-i ’m wondering . . . how was [that boy]523-that boy able to just fly across [the country]2865-the country like that ? “ Fuck , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp whispers as [he]87-jp grips the edge of the table . [His]87-jp fork is resting on [his]87-jp plate and [his]87-jp head is down as if [he]87-jp just hurt [himself]87-jp . And because [I]0-i ’m [the person that [I]0-i am]525-the person that i am , [I]0-i ask , “ Are [you]87-jp okay ? ”[0-i] [He]87-jp lifts [his]87-jp head slightly so [I]0-i can see [his]87-jp teeth roll over the bottom of [his]87-jp lip . “ Mmm , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp groans . “ Did [you]0-i bite [your]0-i lip ? [You]0-i know , [I]87-jp do that sometimes . It might develop into a canker sore , so be mentally prepared for that . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp head falls all the way back now as [he]87-jp leans backward in [his]87-jp chair , hands still on the edge of the table while [he]87-jp man spreads . “ Fuck . . . yes . ”[87-jp] Wait , hold on . What is happening ? [He]87-jp shifts and clenches [his]87-jp fist as [he]87-jp wets [his]87-jp lips . “ Yes , [baby]2899-baby , right there . . . mmm , [you]0-i feel so good . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i expression falls . [My]0-i nostrils flare . [I]0-i fold [my]0-i arms over [my]0-i chest . Could [he]87-jp be any more immature ? “ Are [you]87-jp really doing this ? Are [you]87-jp really doing the scene from When [Harry]111-harry Met [Sally]111-harry ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Fuck . That mouth of yours . Yes , suck [me]0-i deep . ”[0-i] Oh dear God . [My]0-i face flames as [I]0-i lean forward and tap the table . “ Hey , yoo - hoo , [you]87-jp can stop that now . [I]0-i get [your]87-jp point . ”[0-i] But [he]87-jp does n’t stop . Not even a little . Nope , [he]87-jp continues to moan , to groan , to bite on [his]87-jp lip . . . move [his]87-jp hips . “ Yes , [baby]2899-baby , [your]2899-baby pussy is so fucking good . Uhhhhh , yes , fuck , [I]87-jp need to pump harder . ”[87-jp] “ No , no , that ’s okay , no pumping necessary , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , but [my]0-i mind starts to visualize and [my]0-i neck starts to sweat . [You]0-i are NOT getting horny from this , [you]0-i ARE NOT ! “ Shit . . . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp slams [his]87-jp fist on the table and [I]0-i watch in absolute horror — and secret suspense — as [he]87-jp moves closer to the table , [his]87-jp eyes still shut , [his]87-jp head bent down . [You]2899-baby ’re going to come , [I]87-jp can feel it , but not yet , not until [I]87-jp tell [you]2899-baby , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp groans . [I]0-i wet [my]0-i lips . Cross [my]0-i legs . Look away , only for [my]0-i eyes to look back at [him]87-jp . [His]87-jp hand reaches out and grips [his]87-jp cloth napkin . [He]87-jp crumples it in [his]87-jp fist . “ Not yet , [baby]2899-baby , do n’t [you]2899-baby fucking come , not until [I]87-jp give [you]2899-baby permission . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp head falls back briefly . “ Ahh , fuck , [good girl]2902-good girl . Hold it . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i lightly pat around the base of [my]0-i neck with [my]0-i napkin when [he]87-jp ’s not looking . Did [they]526-they turn off the AC or something ? What ’s with the pressure cooker up here ? “ Jesus , [your]2899-baby pussy is so good , so good . Yes , fuck [me]87-jp like that . Keep going , [baby]2899-baby . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp slams [his]87-jp fist on the table again and groans so loudly that it feels like a gallon of lava is pouring down [my]0-i spine . [I]0-i bite the inside of [my]0-i cheek , trying to distract [myself]0-i , but it ’s no use . A dull throb pulses between [my]0-i legs , [my]0-i palms are sweating , and [my]0-i gaze does n’t leave [him]87-jp as [he]87-jp grips the knife in front of [him]87-jp , pounds it into the table , and moans so loud , [I]0-i KNOW [the people below [us]528-us]527-the people below us are wondering what the hell is going on . [Mother]130-mother . . . fucker , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp shouts . “ Come , [baby]2899-baby , come on [my]87-jp greedy cock . ”[87-jp] And then . . . [he]87-jp grinds down on [his]87-jp teeth , [his]87-jp neck veins bulge , and the most guttural sound falls past [his]87-jp lips . Oh . [My]0-i . God . [My]0-i tongue tingles . [My]0-i cheeks are on fire . A light sweat glistens on [my]0-i forehead . Did [he]87-jp actually just come ? Because . . . [I]0-i mean , that was so convincing , so sexy , so — “ Uh , everything okay up here ? ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix asks from [the stairs]471-the stairs , startling [me]0-i right out of [my]0-i chair and onto the floor with a loud plop . Jesus Christ , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , get up . Humiliation consumes [me]0-i while [I]0-i scramble to [my]0-i feet , press down on [my]0-i dress , and straighten [my]0-i spine . “ Yes ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout . “ Everything is . . . yes . [We]2905-we ’re fine . Nothing going on up here . Just , uh , chatting and whatnot . No need to worry about [us]2905-we . Yup . Nothing freaky happening . ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance over at [JP]87-jp , who ’s smirking , fork in hand with a giant piece of meatloaf on the tines . [He]87-jp tips the fork to [Helix]106-helix and says , [My]87-jp compliments to [the chef]2906-the chef . ”[87-jp] And then [he]87-jp takes a bite . Meanwhile , [my]0-i randy and ready body is over here , sending an SOS to [the universe]530-the universe , saying , [I]87-jp ’ll have what [HE]87-jp ’S having . ”[87-jp]

* * *

“ Are [you]87-jp really not going to talk to [me]0-i for the rest of the evening ? ”[0-i] Whispering , [I]0-i ask , “ Do [you]87-jp realize how embarrassing that was ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , really embarrassing for [you]87-jp . [Helix]106-helix saw [you]87-jp turned on , nipples hard , ready to go . Not sure if [he]87-jp was ready for that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i was NOT turned on , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , even though [I]0-i think [we]531-we all know that ’s a complete lie . [You]87-jp ’re acting like [a child]2864-a child . ”[0-i] “ Or am [I]0-i just trying to loosen [you]87-jp up ? Christ , [woman]365-woman , take a chill pill . ”[0-i] “ Do n’t tell [me]532-i to loosen up . [I]532-i ’ll loosen up when [I]532-i want to loosen up . ”[532-i] [He]532-i nods , lips locked in a way that communicates exactly what [he]532-i ’s thinking — [she]533-she ’s crazy . “ Well , guess what , [I]532-i ’m only crazy because [you]87-jp ’re making [me]532-i crazy . ”[532-i] [His]532-i brow pulls together . “ What ? ”[532-i] Wait . . . huh ? [I]532-i did n’t say [you]87-jp were crazy . ”[532-i] “ Then what did [you]87-jp say ? ”[532-i] “ Nothing . ”[532-i] [He]532-i raises [his]532-i glass . “ But now [I]532-i ’m thinking [you]0-i ’re crazy . ”[532-i] [I]0-i groan and rest [my]0-i arms on the table , crossing them in front of [me]0-i . “ Ugh , this night will never end . ”[0-i] “ Instead of complaining about it , [you]87-jp could ask [me]532-i another question , [you]87-jp know ? ”[532-i] “ That does n’t sound appealing . ”[532-i] “ Fine , [I]532-i ’ll ask [you]0-i a question . ”[532-i] [He]532-i clears [his]532-i throat obnoxiously . “ So , tell [me]532-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , what are [you]0-i looking for in [a man]2703-a man ? ”[532-i] “ Not [you]0-i . ”[532-i] [Your]0-i flushed cheeks from moments ago beg to differ . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swear [I]0-i feel steam blow out [my]0-i nose . Smirking , [he]532-i adds , [You]89-kelsey know , [we]2910-we can either sit here in silence , which [I]532-i know makes [you]89-kelsey more uncomfortable and chattier and will cause [you]89-kelsey to divulge information [you]89-kelsey probably do n’t want [me]532-i knowing . Or , [you]89-kelsey can control [your]89-kelsey babbling by answering a simple question . ”[532-i] Why is [he]532-i right ? Just add it to the list of infuriating things about [the man]355-the man . “ Ask [me]532-i something else . ”[532-i] “ Okay , what do [you]532-i find attractive in [a man]2703-a man ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes heavily . “ Let [me]532-i guess — if [I]532-i do n’t answer this question , [you]89-kelsey will find one eerily similar to ask ? ”[532-i] [He]532-i grins . “ Yes , and [I]532-i ’ll keep going from there . ”[532-i] [I]0-i dab at [my]0-i mouth with [my]0-i napkin and then set it back in [my]0-i lap . “ Fine , [you]89-kelsey want to know what [I]532-i want in [a man]2703-a man ? Well , firstly , someone who does n’t annoy [me]532-i , secondly , [someone who does n’t purposefully lie]2913-someone who does n’t purposefully lie — ”[532-i] [He]532-i slides [his]532-i hand on the table and says , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , from the tone of [your]89-kelsey voice , it almost seems like [you]89-kelsey ’re suggesting that [I]532-i annoy [you]89-kelsey and purposefully lie . ”[532-i] “ How did [you]89-kelsey ever figure that out ? Wow , [JP]87-jp , [you]89-kelsey ’re [a genius]2914-a genius . ”[0-i] “ Jesus , ”[532-i] [he]532-i mutters . [You]89-kelsey ’re ripe tonight . [You]89-kelsey ’ve always been decently chill , but tonight , [you]89-kelsey ’re on another level . ”[532-i] [I]0-i set [my]0-i napkin on the table and fold [my]0-i arms as [I]0-i lean back . “ Yes , because [I]0-i thought tonight was going to be different . [I]0-i thought . . . ”[0-i] In a wistful tone , [I]0-i continue , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i was going to meet [someone]364-someone [I]0-i could actually date . [I]0-i thought this was the start of something new , something exciting . [I]0-i was excited to go on a date , but that ’s not what tonight has been . It ’s been disappointing , and a giant ball of irritation . So , excuse [me]0-i if [I]0-i ’m not the delightful company [you]532-i expected . ”[0-i] [You]532-i ’re really not . [I]535-he might ask for a refund . [Hypercritical fishwife]2916-hypercritical fishwife is n’t what [I]535-he call a good first date or a match , for that matter . ”[535-he] [Fishwife]131-fishwife ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Yup . Already called [you]532-i [a shrew]2917-a shrew , thought fishwife would be a good second option . ”[0-i] “ Yeah . . . well , [you]532-i ’re [[a . . .]2918-a . . .]2918-a . . . [you]532-i ’re a . . . ”[535-he] “ A what ? ”[535-he] [he]535-he asks , [his]535-he grin growing even wider . Think , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , think of a good name . “ A shortsighted boob . ”[535-he] [He]535-he tosses [his]535-he head back , laughter erupting from [his]535-he lips . “ That ’s the best [you]532-i could come up with ? A shortsighted boob ? Shit . ”[535-he] [He]535-he wipes at [his]535-he eyes as [I]0-i grow more furious by the second . [I]0-i think [I]0-i might get that printed on a T - shirt . [You]532-i ’re [a shortsighted boob]2920-a shortsighted boob . Jesus , that ’s good . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stare at [him]535-he as [he]535-he continues to laugh , then chuckle , then laugh again , and when [he]535-he finally calms [himself]535-he down , [I]0-i ask , “ Are [you]535-he finished ? ”[0-i] [I]535-he think so . ”[535-he] [He]535-he gives [his]535-he eyes one more swipe . “ Oh man , any more of those golden insults [you]535-he have stored away ? ”[535-he] [I]0-i do n’t know . Do [you]535-he have any other names to call [me]0-i other than [fishwife]2921-fishwife ? ”[0-i] “ Sure do . . . [uptight gorgon]2922-uptight gorgon . ”[535-he] What the hell is [a gorgon]536-a gorgon ? Does n’t matter , it ’s a hideous name , does n’t fall off the tongue . And to hell if [I]0-i ’m going to let [him]535-he get away with calling [me]0-i . . . that . [My]0-i eyes narrow . “ Half - cracked ignoramus . ”[0-i] “ Fastidious wench . ”[0-i] [My]0-i jaw clenches . “ Cynical ninny . ”[0-i] [He]535-he cracks a smile . [Pretentious strumpet]2923-pretentious strumpet . ”[535-he] The sound of [Helix]106-helix climbing the stairs momentarily distracts [me]0-i before [I]0-i say , [Callous cockhead]2924-callous cockhead . ”[0-i] Now [he]535-he ’s full - on smiling . [Simpering concubine]2925-simpering concubine . ”[535-he] [Strumpet]132-strumpet and concubine would allude to [me]535-he being loose with [my]535-he legs and [I]535-he can guarantee [you]0-i right now , there ’s nothing loose about [my]535-he appendages . ”[535-he] “ Uh . . . everything okay ? ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix asks , stepping up to the table . “ Maybe [you]0-i should be loose , have [someone]364-someone fish that pole out of [your]0-i ass that [you]0-i seem to be clenching . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp crosses [his]87-jp arms , looking like the casual butthole that [he]87-jp is . “ Would [you]2927-you guys like the check ? ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix asks . “ So , [I]106-helix have a pole up [my]106-helix ass because [I]106-helix ’m not fainting at [your]0-i feet over [your]0-i nonsensical drivel and squawky singing ? ”[106-helix] “ Squawky ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , insulted . “ Try again . There ’s nothing squawky about [my]87-jp singing . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah , [I]106-helix ’ll just , uh , go grab that check . [I]106-helix ’m thinking dessert is n’t a thing tonight . ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix takes off while [JP]87-jp and [I]0-i share an unwavering stare down . [I]87-jp ’ve heard cats in heat sound better than what [I]87-jp ’ve had to suffer through tonight . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i ’re so full of shit . ”[106-helix] [He]106-helix tosses [his]106-helix napkin on the table . [I]106-helix saw [you]0-i bobbing [your]0-i head . ”[106-helix] “ Oh , [you]0-i ’re cute thinking that was bobbing , more like twitching from how horrendous [you]0-i sounded . [You]0-i sure know how to make [someone]364-someone ’s muscles fire off in revolt . ”[87-jp] “ Is that supposed to be funny ? Because it ’s not . ”[0-i] [I]0-i clutch at [my]0-i chest . “ Have [I]0-i hurt [[your]0-i man]2929-your man feelings ? ”[0-i] [Helix]106-helix approaches again and sets the check on the table . [Both of [us]537-both of us]537-both of us reach for it at the same time . “ Let go , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . “ There ’s no way in hell [I]0-i ’m letting [you]87-jp pay for this meal , ”[0-i] [I]0-i counter . [He]87-jp might have ruined this night , and [I]0-i ’ll forever have [Doe]129-doe , a deer ”[87-jp] stuck in [my]0-i freaking head , but to hell if [I]0-i ’m going to let [him]87-jp pay . Ohhhhh no . “ Over [my]87-jp dead and squawking body will [I]87-jp let [you]87-jp pay . ”[87-jp] “ Here are [your]87-jp phones , ”[106-helix] [Helix]106-helix says , sounding nervous . [He]87-jp should be . Shots have been fired , [our]537-both of us voices are raised , [we]537-both of us ’re engaging in the stare down of a lifetime , and with one wrong move , this powder keg of a date will explode . [I]87-jp ’ll just set them down here . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp slowly places the phones on the table , careful not to disrupt anything , and then cautiously backs away . [Smart , smart man]538-smart , smart man . “ Fine . ”[538-smart , smart man] [I]0-i let go of the check but reach into [my]0-i purse to pull out a few twenties . [I]0-i set them on the table . “ There , paid [my]0-i half . ”[0-i] “ Pick that fucking money up right now . [You]87-jp ’re not paying . ”[0-i] “ Why not ? [I]538-smart , smart man can afford it . [[Your]87-jp brother]2724-your brother pays [me]538-smart , smart man pretty well . ”[538-smart , smart man] “ This is n’t a money thing . ”[0-i] “ Then what is it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i counter . “ A pride thing ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , [I]0-i always pay for a goddamn meal when [I]0-i take [someone out on a date]2931-someone out on a date . ”[0-i] “ Well , [you]87-jp did n’t take [me]0-i out on a date , as this was an unfortunate coincidence . This was a loathsome , mind - numbingly pitiful tryst . Trust [me]0-i , if this was a real date , it would not have gone like this . ”[0-i] “ If this was a real date , [I]0-i would ’ve bent [you]87-jp over this table and spanked [your]87-jp ass for the way [you]87-jp ’ve spoken to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes widen . “ Excuse [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i heard [me]539-he . ”[539-he] [He]539-he picks up [my]0-i twenties and stuffs them into [his]539-he pocket before pulling out two , one - hundred - dollar bills and dropping them on the table . There ’s no way dinner cost that much . Not even close . Always trying to show off . Ugh , [pretentious prick]540-pretentious prick . [Everyone]2734-everyone , please offer [JP]87-jp applause : [he]539-he has money , good for [him]539-he . Clearly , [he]539-he wants to make a show of it . But back to what [he]539-he said . “ That ’s outrageous behavior . [No one]2811-no one spanks [women]2683-women these days . ”[539-he] [He]539-he stands from the table and buttons [his]539-he suit jacket . “ Clearly [you]0-i have n’t been with [the right men]2934-the right men . ”[539-he] [He]539-he walks over to [me]0-i and holds out [his]539-he hand to help [me]0-i up from [my]0-i chair . [I]0-i smack [his]539-he hand away and stand [myself]0-i . [I]0-i ’ve been with [perfect gentlemen]2935-perfect gentlemen , thank [you]539-he very much . ”[0-i] “ And there ’s [your]0-i problem , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , leaning in . [A perfect gentleman]2936-a perfect gentleman is n’t going to make [you]0-i come the way [I]87-jp can . ”[87-jp] [He]539-he ’s so close [I]0-i can practically feel the heat coming off [his]539-he body . It warms [me]0-i and simmers at the base of [my]0-i stomach , causing a flash of heat to pulse through [my]0-i body for a mere second , reminding [me]0-i of that initial attraction on the day [I]0-i met [him]539-he . But just as fast as it arrives , it flits away . “ Do n’t flatter [yourself]0-i , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [I]0-i start to walk past [him]539-he , but once again , just like in [the conference room]370-the conference room , [he]539-he pauses [me]0-i with a hand on [my]0-i hip . [He]539-he leans in close to [my]0-i ear . [I]539-he do n’t need to flatter [myself]539-he when it ’s facts . If [you]0-i were in [my]539-he bed , [you]0-i ’d forget [your]0-i name , [[your]0-i cunt]2937-your cunt would be begging for [my]539-he cock , and [your]0-i voice would be hoarse from crying out [my]539-he name repeatedly . ”[539-he] [I]0-i hate to admit it , but [I]0-i can see it . [I]0-i can feel it . What it would be like in [his]539-he bed , [him]539-he hovering over [me]0-i . [He]539-he ’s demanding . Controlling . Does n’t let up until every last inch of [my]0-i body has nothing left to give . Even whispered , there ’s demand in [his]539-he voice and , [I]0-i can feel how it would be . But that does n’t mean [I]0-i want it . There ’s a difference between romance and good sex . Good sex lasts a night , while romance lasts a lifetime . But before [I]0-i can respond , [he]539-he steps away from [me]0-i . [We]543-we both make [our]543-we way down the stairs , [my]0-i legs wobblier than expected . [We]543-we bypass [the hostess]463-the hostess , who asks [us]543-we how [our]543-we dinner was , [JP]87-jp holds the door open for [me]0-i , and when [we]543-we ’re both on [the sidewalk]338-the sidewalk , [JP]87-jp closes the distance between [us]543-we and puts [his]87-jp hand on [my]0-i hip once again . “ Tonight was an absolute succubus of valuable time . [I]87-jp hope it never happens again . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp and [me]0-i both , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , holding [my]0-i head high . [You]87-jp were unpleasant and [a self - assured ass]2938-a self - assured ass . [I]0-i would rather stick [my]0-i head in [a gas station toilet]2939-a gas station toilet than go on another date with [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ The pleasure was not [mine]0-i , [babe]2728-babe . Hope [you]87-jp come down with a bad case of the toots later . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gasp and look [him]87-jp in the eye as [he]87-jp smiles . “ Yeah , well . . . [I]87-jp hope [your]87-jp penis gets stuck in [your]87-jp zipper . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i make a step to walk away when [he]87-jp grips [my]0-i wrist , brings it to [his]87-jp lips , and to [my]0-i horror , places a kiss just on the inside of [my]0-i wrist . [His]87-jp lips pause for only a breath , but it ’s just enough time to cause [my]0-i stomach to flip - flop , a demoralizing feeling . No , body , [we]546-we do n’t like [him]87-jp . Do n’t [you]547-you dare get sucked in by [his]87-jp flippant charm . “ If only [my]87-jp penis got stuck between [your]0-i legs instead . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp lets go of [my]0-i wrist . “ Do n’t trip on [your]0-i way [home]2941-home . ”[87-jp] And then with one hand in [his]87-jp pocket , [he]87-jp takes off in the opposite direction , swagger in every step . [God]92-god , [he]87-jp ’s infuriating . “ Hope to see [you]87-jp never , ”[0-i] [I]0-i call out , for unknown reasons . Because [I]0-i will see [him]87-jp again , in [the office]548-the office , because that ’s the kind of luck [I]0-i have . [Sighing]133-sighing , [I]0-i reach into [my]0-i purse for [my]0-i phone so [I]0-i can call an Uber when [my]0-i hand connects with some paper . Confused , [I]0-i open [my]0-i purse and find the three twenty - dollar bills [I]0-i left on the table . [The motherfucker]549-the motherfucker !

* * *

Meant to Be Podcast [Knox]134-knox and [Emory Kelsey]135-emory : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]551-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Knox]134-knox and [Emory]135-emory , thank [you]553-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , let ’s get down to business . Tell [us]551-we , how did [you]551-we two meet ? [Emory]135-emory : College , [our]551-we junior year . [Knox]134-knox : [She]554-she was [a transfer student from [California]11-california]555-a transfer student from california . [Emory]135-emory : It was [his]135-emory last year at [Brentwood]12-brentwood before [he]135-emory was drafted to play for the [Chicago Bobbies]13-chicago bobbies . [Knox]134-knox : Technically , [we]551-we met at a baseball party . [She]554-she showed [me]0-i [her]554-she boob . [Emory]135-emory : That is not how it went . [We]551-we were drunk , [I]0-i was looking for [[my]0-i friends]556-my friends , and [I]0-i asked [him]135-emory for help . [We]551-we went into [[his]135-emory room]557-his room , [I]0-i fell , and [my]0-i boob popped out . [Knox]134-knox : [I]0-i was enamored with the nip slip . [Emory]135-emory : [I]0-i was horrified the next morning . [We]551-we went on [our]551-we merry way until [he]135-emory spotted [me]0-i lost on [campus]558-campus . [He]135-emory said — and [I]0-i quote — [he]135-emory never forgets a good pair of tits . [Kelsey]135-emory : Oh [my]0-i God . Ha - ha - ha . [Knox]134-knox : [I]0-i do n’t . And [I]0-i never did . The rest is history . [Emory]135-emory : The rest is not history . [He]135-emory spent months attempting to win [my]0-i affections in the most ridiculous ways possible . [Knox]134-knox : And [I]0-i won [her]559-her over . [Emory]135-emory : Only to break up for eight years . But then . . . [we]551-we found [each other]333-each other again . [Knox]134-knox : [I]0-i was n’t letting [her]559-her go that time . [I]0-i put a ring on it and then . . . the rest is history .

Chapter Four

JP

“ There [he]97-breaker is , [Casanova]136-casanova [himself]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker takes a seat in [[my]0-i office]561-my office and smirks at [me]0-i . “ How was it ? Love at first sight ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i unbutton [my]0-i suit jacket and take a seat in [[my]0-i office]561-my office chair . The moment the elevator doors opened , [I]0-i spotted [Breaker]97-breaker waiting with a to - go cup of coffee in hand , looking for [one person]2866-one person : [me]0-i . [His]97-breaker text messages last night went unanswered . [I]0-i ignored [him]97-breaker as [I]0-i said hello to [[our]564-our receptionist]565-our receptionist . [I]0-i did n’t bother making eye contact with [him]97-breaker when [I]0-i was grabbing [my]0-i own cup of coffee from [the break room]566-the break room . And when [he]97-breaker barged into [[my]0-i office]561-my office right after [me]0-i , [I]0-i chose to not growl in frustration at [his]97-breaker persistence . But now that [he]97-breaker ’s sitting across from [me]0-i , staring [me]0-i down , looking for a recap , it does n’t seem like [I]0-i have a choice but to tell [him]97-breaker about last night ’s disaster . From the inside of [my]0-i suit pocket , [I]0-i pull [my]0-i phone out and set it on [my]0-i desk before leaning back in [my]0-i chair . “ Last night ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i steeple [my]0-i fingers together . “ Well , when [I]0-i first saw [[my]0-i date]2822-my date , [I]0-i actually hoped it would go well , but that thought quickly vanished when [she]2822-my date opened [her]2822-my date mouth . ”[0-i] “ Oh shit , did [she]2822-my date have a screechy voice ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No , [she]2822-my date let [me]0-i know how much [she]2822-my date hated [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker ’s brow draws together in confusion . “ What do [you]97-breaker mean ? Did [she]2822-my date know [you]97-breaker ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i slowly nod . “ Oh yeah , [she]2822-my date knew [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ How ? Did [you]97-breaker go out with [her]2822-my date once ? ”[0-i] “ Nope . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake the mouse on [my]0-i desk , waking up [my]0-i computer . [[My]0-i date]2822-my date was [Kelsey]135-emory . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]135-emory ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks in disbelief . “ As in [[Lottie]89-kelsey ’s sister]2944-lottie ’s sister ? ”[97-breaker] “ Yup . ”[0-i] “ Oh , fuck . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker busts out in a long , drawn - out laugh . The sound fucking irritates [me]0-i . [Dude]2754-dude , what are the chances ? ”[97-breaker] “ Pretty good , apparently . ”[0-i] “ Let [me]0-i guess — [she]2822-my date walked out of [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant when [she]2822-my date saw it was [you]97-breaker ? ”[0-i] “ Nope . Because of the program ’s rules , [you]2947-you ’re forced to eat dinner with [the person [they]2949-they set [you]2947-you up with]2948-the person they set you up with . And because [we]2950-we showed signs of a full - out medieval battle , [they]2949-they put [us]2950-we in [the private loft]2951-the private loft , away from [everyone else]2952-everyone else . ”[97-breaker] “ And how did that go ? ”[0-i] “ Not great . ”[0-i] [I]0-i open [my]0-i inbox and am flooded by emails . “ But [you]97-breaker said [you]97-breaker were excited at first . Why ? ”[0-i] “ Because it was [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say casually . [I]0-i knew [her]89-kelsey , so [I]0-i did n’t have to try to get to know [a stranger]2953-a stranger when [I]0-i was already not in the mood to be [there]2954-there . Did n’t think it would be uncomfortable , plus . . . [she]89-kelsey looked hot . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shrug . “ But all of that washed away the moment [she]89-kelsey begged [me]0-i to leave . ”[0-i] “ Which [she]89-kelsey was n’t allowed to do , and [I]0-i ’m sure that only made [her]89-kelsey even angrier . [She]89-kelsey has the same fiery spirit as [Lottie]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , and it showed . When [I]97-breaker say [she]89-kelsey was unpleasant , [I]97-breaker ’m not kidding . [We]2955-we ended up fighting the entire time and , sure , [I]97-breaker did n’t help matters . At the end of the night , [we]2955-we went [our]2955-we separate ways . ”[97-breaker] “ And how do [you]97-breaker feel about that ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Relieved , ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i answer . “ It was fucking exhausting having dinner with [her]89-kelsey . Sure , [I]97-breaker like some quick - witted repartee here and there , but when [I]97-breaker got [home]2941-home , [I]97-breaker felt drained . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker is silent for a moment as [he]97-breaker studies [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m sure [he]97-breaker ’s looking for some sort of tell that [I]0-i ’m lying . [He]97-breaker ’s wondering if [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [I]0-i did hit it off and [we]568-we ’re secretly dating now . Could not be further from the truth . “ Why do n’t [I]97-breaker believe [you]0-i ? ”[97-breaker] [he]97-breaker asks . Here [we]568-we go . [Dude]2754-dude , trust [me]0-i when [I]0-i say — ”[0-i] [I]0-i stop speaking , [my]0-i eyes falling on an email from [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Subject line : [I]0-i ’m coming to [[your]569-your office]570-your office . [I]0-i barely have time to open it before the door to [[my]0-i office]561-my office flies open and [Kelsey]89-kelsey steps in . The expression on [her]89-kelsey face reads irritated , and the way [her]89-kelsey hands clench at [her]89-kelsey sides makes [me]0-i feel anxious . The surprised look in [her]89-kelsey eyes when [she]89-kelsey spots [Breaker]97-breaker completely changes [her]89-kelsey demeanor in seconds . [Breaker]97-breaker , hi . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smooths [her]89-kelsey hand over [her]89-kelsey hair . [I]89-kelsey , uh , [I]89-kelsey did n’t see [you]97-breaker [there]2954-there . Sorry about barging in . ”[89-kelsey] [Breaker]97-breaker , of course , smiles , showing off [his]97-breaker freshly whitened teeth . “ Hey , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , heard [you]97-breaker had quite the night last night . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s murderous eyes flash to [me]0-i . [You]97-breaker told [him]97-breaker ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Well , [he]97-breaker ’s [[my]89-kelsey brother]390-my brother , and [he]97-breaker was the one who forced [me]89-kelsey to go on the date , so it ’s only natural that [he]97-breaker ’d ask [me]89-kelsey how it went . ”[89-kelsey] Composing [herself]89-kelsey , [Kelsey]89-kelsey turns to [Breaker]97-breaker and asks , “ Would [you]97-breaker give [me]89-kelsey a second with [[your]97-breaker brother]2724-your brother ? ”[89-kelsey] [He]97-breaker smirks and stands . “ Of course . ”[97-breaker] Before [he]97-breaker can walk away , [Kelsey]89-kelsey adds , “ And [I]89-kelsey would appreciate [your]97-breaker discretion in this matter . ”[89-kelsey] [Breaker]97-breaker pats [her]89-kelsey on the shoulder and says , [I]97-breaker understand the need to not be attached by name to [him]2724-your brother . [I]97-breaker wish [I]97-breaker was n’t either . ”[97-breaker] Wow , what [a brother]402-a brother . [He]97-breaker takes off and closes the door behind [him]97-breaker . [I]0-i turn [my]0-i attention to [Kelsey]89-kelsey , who closes the distance between [us]573-us and takes a seat in the chair [Breaker]97-breaker just vacated . “ To what do [I]89-kelsey owe the pleasure ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i ask [her]89-kelsey . “ After last night , [I]0-i figured [we]573-us need to talk about how to handle this . ”[0-i] “ Handle what ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause and tilt [my]0-i head to the side . “ Oh , hell , did [you]89-kelsey fall in love with [me]0-i last night and now [you]89-kelsey ’re trying to figure out how to muddle through work while harboring these intense feelings about [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [Her]89-kelsey face falls flat only for [her]89-kelsey top lip to curl into a sneer . “ If any revelation happened last night , it most certainly had nothing to do with love and everything to do with this extreme distaste [I]0-i have for [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Ooh , distaste . That ’s a new one . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean [my]0-i forearms on [my]0-i desk . “ Please do elaborate . ”[0-i] “ This is n’t funny , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Did n’t know [I]89-kelsey was laughing . ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey eyes narrow and [she]89-kelsey speaks through clenched teeth . [You]87-jp do n’t have to laugh in order to make a laughing matter out of something that ’s incredibly serious . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i pick up a pen off [my]0-i very untidy desk , a desk that [I]0-i know drives [Kelsey]89-kelsey nuts . The tension in [her]89-kelsey expression is from [our]574-we conversation , but the death grip [she]89-kelsey has on the chair ’s armrests is undoubtedly from the rumpled reports on [my]0-i desk , the askew pen jar that ’s tipped over , and the unconventional way [I]0-i have [my]0-i computer tilted . “ Okay , tell [me]0-i why [our]574-we situation is incredibly serious , because unless [I]0-i missed something , nothing , and [I]0-i mean nothing , happened between [us]574-we last night . Well , nothing that requires this level of psychosis . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp , [we]574-we went on a date last night . ”[89-kelsey] “ Not by [our]574-we choice . ”[0-i] [I]0-i click the pen open and then shut . “ But it still happened . [We]574-we shared an intense meal , and then after , when [we]574-we were leaving , [you]87-jp said . . . [you]87-jp said some things . ”[0-i] “ Oh . . . the whole ‘ If [you]87-jp were in [my]575-her bed , [[your]87-jp cunt]2937-your cunt would be begging for [my]575-her cock ’ part ? ”[575-her] [She]575-her swallows , [her]575-her cheeks heating . “ Yes , that part . ”[575-her] “ It was just basic facts . Nothing to make note of . ”[0-i] [Well”—she]137-well”—she[575-her] smooths [her]575-her hands over [her]575-her well - pressed , possibly steamed , skirt—“it was inappropriate , and [we]574-we need to set some ground rules here . ”[575-her] “ This should be good . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lace [my]0-i hands together behind [my]0-i head and say , “ Lay it on [me]0-i — what are the ground rules ? ”[0-i] “ Well , for one — ”[0-i] “ Real quick , [I]0-i just need to put this out there — [your]575-her reaction is completely ridiculous and over the top , but [you]575-her know , to each [their]2962-their own . [Your]575-her feelings are [your]575-her feelings . . . all that bullshit . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gesture to [her]575-her . [You]575-her may proceed . ”[0-i] [Her]575-her nostrils flare , and [I]0-i realize it ’s a small tick of [hers]575-her when [she]575-her ’s upset . “ As [I]575-her was saying , [our]2963-our first ground rule is [we]2963-our do n’t speak of last night , ever . [I]575-her did n’t tell [Lottie]89-kelsey and [I]575-her would appreciate it if [you]575-her did n’t tell [anyone else]358-anyone else . ”[575-her] “ Am [I]575-her that repulsive ? ”[575-her] “ Yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle because [I]0-i thought [she]575-her was going to say no to that and come up with some long - winded explanation , but got to give [the girl]2846-the girl credit for [her]2846-the girl honesty . [I]575-her also do n’t want [people]2736-people thinking [I]575-her get involved with [any man who crosses [my]575-her path or that [I]575-her ’m trying to climb the corporate ladder by spreading [my]575-her legs]2966-any man who crosses my path or that i ’m trying to climb the corporate ladder by spreading my legs . ”[575-her] “ Do n’t worry , [[your]0-i sister]2967-your sister covered that one . ”[575-her] [Her]575-her eyes narrow and [she]575-her points [her]575-her finger . “ That was not how that went down and [you]0-i know it . ”[575-her] [You]0-i ’re right , that was uncalled for . Sorry . ”[575-her] If [anyone]377-anyone pursued that relationship , it was [Huxley]90-huxley , because [he]377-anyone could n’t seem to keep [his]377-anyone hands off [Lottie]89-kelsey . [My]0-i apology seems to satisfy [her]575-her because [she]575-her continues , “ So [we]2968-we do n’t talk about last night , ever . Act like it never happened . ”[575-her] [I]575-her wish it did n’t . ”[575-her] [I]0-i smile at [her]575-her , which only makes [her]575-her grind [her]575-her teeth together . Jesus , talk about uptight . Could [she]575-her relax for like a second ? [JP]87-jp , [I]575-her need [you]87-jp to say [you]87-jp ’re never going to talk about it . ”[575-her] “ Christ . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i ’m never going to talk about it . ”[0-i] That appeases the gremlin inside [her]575-her . “ Second ground rule — there will be no more inappropriate behavior . ”[0-i] [I]0-i kick [my]0-i feet up on [my]0-i desk and lean back in [my]0-i chair . “ Not sure what [you]87-jp ’re alluding to with that ground rule . ”[0-i] “ The way [you]87-jp speak to [me]0-i and the little touches need to end . ”[0-i] [You]87-jp act as if [I]0-i ’m grazing [your]87-jp hand when [I]0-i walk by or sliding [my]0-i hand to [your]87-jp lower back . . . or gripping [your]87-jp thigh while at the conference table . Correct [me]0-i if [I]0-i ’m wrong , but that has never happened . ”[0-i] “ It , uh . . . it has n’t . But [you]87-jp know , the things [you]87-jp say are n’t appropriate for [a workplace]2969-a workplace , so that needs to stop . ”[0-i] “ The ‘ cunt calling out for [my]0-i cock ’ thing was outside of work . ”[0-i] [You]87-jp ’ve said more than that while at work , and do n’t deny it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i have . “ Okay , [your]87-jp wish is [my]0-i command , [babe]2728-babe . ”[0-i] “ And none of that . ”[578-i] [She]578-i points [her]578-i finger at [me]0-i again . “ None of that babe stuff . [I]578-i ’m [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey ’re [JP]87-jp , and that ’s it . Nothing else . [I]578-i ’m not [[your]89-kelsey babe]2971-your babe . ”[578-i] “ Just a term of endearment , but sure , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . That ’s how [I]578-i ’ll refer to [you]89-kelsey from now on , unless [you]89-kelsey wanted something more along the lines of [. . . fishwife]2972-. . . fishwife ? ”[578-i] Let ’s pause here for a moment . [I]0-i ’m not [a complete asshole]579-a complete asshole . . . all the time . [I]0-i ’m really not . But [Kelsey]89-kelsey just has the best reactions , and [I]0-i ca n’t resist . [She]89-kelsey ’s so goddamned gorgeous , and it ’s fun to rile [her]89-kelsey . To ruffle [her]89-kelsey feathers . [You]89-kelsey do realize [you]89-kelsey ’re the absolute worst to have a conversation with , right ? Like . . . the absolute worst , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , [her]89-kelsey face wincing with irritation . [I]89-kelsey only seem to receive that sort of feedback from [you]89-kelsey , which makes [me]89-kelsey think it ’s a [you]89-kelsey thing , not a [me]89-kelsey thing . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey pinches [her]89-kelsey brow and [I]0-i swear [she]89-kelsey silently counts to ten . “ And thirdly — ”[89-kelsey] “ A third ground rule ? Was not expecting that . Total plot twist . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back in [my]0-i chair again . “ Please , continue to pleasure [me]0-i with [your]89-kelsey commands . ”[0-i] [I]89-kelsey ’m talking to [Huxley]90-huxley and asking [him]2973-him if [I]89-kelsey can fall under [his]2973-him management because [our]2974-us working relationship is volatile . ”[89-kelsey] “ Ooh , [you]89-kelsey see , [I]580-me was with [you]89-kelsey on points one and two , but unfortunately , [your]89-kelsey line of work falls under [my]580-me line of work , therefore , that makes [you]89-kelsey [[my]580-me employee]2975-my employee . [Huxley]90-huxley is n’t going to bother taking on another task when [his]2973-him plate is already full . [He]2973-him also does n’t take too kindly to [people]2736-people telling [him]2973-him what to do , even if [you]89-kelsey ’re [[his]2973-him future sister - in - law]2977-his future sister - in - law . And if [you]89-kelsey do approach [him]2973-him , all [he]2973-him ’s going to do is pull [us]2974-us into [a conference room]2978-a conference room and ask that [we]2974-us work things out . . . in front of [him]2973-him . Now , given the restrictions that ground rule one presents [us]2974-us , [you]89-kelsey ’re not going to be able to tell [him]2973-him the truth as to why [you]89-kelsey do n’t want to work under [me]580-me anymore , and therefore have no validity behind [your]89-kelsey case . Also , [you]89-kelsey ’re only going to paint [yourself]89-kelsey as confrontational since everyone else that does work with [me]580-me has given [me]580-me nothing but rave reviews . So . . . if [you]89-kelsey want to embarrass [yourself]89-kelsey and shine a spotlight on [your]89-kelsey difficult disposition , by all means , approach [Huxley]90-huxley , but if [you]89-kelsey want to remain in [his]581-a businessman good graces , [I]580-me would suggest [you]89-kelsey drop ground rule number three . ”[580-me] The tension in [her]580-me jaw is visible from where [I]0-i sit . [I]0-i know this is n’t what [she]580-me wanted to hear , but it ’s also true . If anything , [Huxley]90-huxley is [a businessman]581-a businessman first so [he]581-a businessman can remove emotion from business , which is why [we]582-we ’re so successful . . . something [Kelsey]89-kelsey needs to learn . “ Then maybe [Breaker]97-breaker could do it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Managing [a certified organizer]2979-a certified organizer does n’t fall under [his]581-a businessman scope of responsibilities . [He]581-a businessman ’s [the numbers guy]2980-the numbers guy . Organizing and managing [the different properties]2981-the different properties is n’t what [he]581-a businessman does . Hate to say it , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , but [you]89-kelsey ’re stuck with [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [She]580-me crosses [her]580-me arms at [her]580-me chest and mutters something under [her]580-me breath . [I]0-i move closer to [her]580-me and say , [I]0-i did n’t quite catch that . Can [you]580-me repeat it ? ”[0-i] [She]580-me looks [me]0-i dead in the eyes and says , [I]580-me despise [you]0-i . ”[580-me] “ Now , now , now , is that something [you]0-i should be saying to [[your]0-i employer]2982-your employer ? ”[580-me] [She]580-me stands from the chair , grumbling some more , and then puts [her]580-me manicured finger on [my]0-i desk . “ From here on out , [we]2983-we adhere to the two ground rules . Do [you]580-me hear [me]580-me ? ”[580-me] [I]0-i do . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smirk . [I]0-i hear [you]580-me quite well . ”[0-i] “ And [we]2983-we ’ll only talk to [each other]333-each other when [we]2983-we need to , and about business only . When [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey invite [us]2983-we over , [I]580-me want [you]583-you nowhere near [me]580-me . Do n’t even think about talking to [me]580-me . Do [you]583-you understand ? ”[580-me] [I]0-i ’m practically shivering in [my]0-i shoes . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp , [I]580-me ’m being serious . Do [you]583-you understand ? ”[580-me] Whatever caused this much animosity toward [me]0-i must really be affecting [her]583-you because [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [anyone this worked up before]584-anyone this worked up before , let alone [Kelsey]89-kelsey . What ’s behind this anger ? [They]585-they always say there ’s a thin line between love and hate — could it possibly be love ? [I]0-i hold back [my]0-i chuckle . Hell , if [she]583-you heard what was going on inside [my]0-i head right now , [she]583-you ’d have [me]0-i hung up by the balls . [I]0-i think there ’s one thing clear , though — [she]583-you wants nothing to do with [me]0-i . This entire conversation has made that crystal clear . Smiling up at [her]583-you , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i understand [you]583-you . And [I]0-i look forward to [our]2985-we newly established working relationship where [we]2985-we do n’t ever mention the hot date [we]2985-we went on or the way [you]583-you shivered when [I]0-i talked about [your]583-you cunt , or how [you]583-you secretly love it when [I]0-i call [you]583-you babe . ”[0-i] There . . . just one more jab for [the road]586-the road . [She]583-you tosses [her]583-you hands up in frustration , turns on [her]583-you heel , and charges out of [[my]0-i office]561-my office , slamming the door behind [her]583-you . That went exceedingly well .

Chapter Five

[KELSEY

Meant to Be Podcast Pacey]138-pacey and [Winnie Kelsey]139-kelsey : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]589-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Pacey]138-pacey and [Winnie]139-kelsey , thank [you]139-kelsey so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , tell [us]589-we how [you]139-kelsey met . [Winnie]139-kelsey : Where to even begin ? It ’s all kind of whimsical if [you]139-kelsey think about it . [Pacey]138-pacey : [I]0-i thought [she]591-she was [a murderer]592-a murderer . [Winnie]139-kelsey : Stop it . No , [you]139-kelsey did n’t . Well , [I]0-i guess [you]139-kelsey did , but that ’s not the start of it . [I]0-i was driving to [Banff]14-banff in honor of [[my]0-i late mother]593-my late mother and got lost in [the mountains]594-the mountains . It was one of the worst storms [I]0-i ’ve ever seen and [[my]0-i car]595-my car got stuck in mud . [I]0-i had no reception , so [I]0-i decided to go find help . That ’s when [I]0-i stumbled upon [the cabin]596-the cabin . [Pacey]138-pacey : [I]0-i play hockey for the Vancouver Agitators , and every summer , [a few of [the boys]598-the boys]597-a few of the boys and [I]0-i drive to [Banff]14-banff for some relaxation . It was [our]599-our first night [there]2954-there and [Winnie]139-kelsey came knocking on the door . [Winnie]139-kelsey : [I]0-i was soaking wet , and the minute the door opened , a flash of lightning lit [me]0-i up from behind . [Pacey]138-pacey : It was absolutely horrifying . [Winnie]139-kelsey : As [a group]601-a group , [we]599-our went back and forth , attempting to show [each other]333-each other that [they]603-they were n’t [the murdering types]604-the murdering types and [I]0-i was n’t [the murdering type]605-the murdering type . [Pacey]138-pacey was really quiet at first . [Eli Hornsby]140-eli hornsby , [a defenseman for [the Agitators]607-the agitators]606-a defenseman for the agitators , was the one who welcomed [me]0-i into [the house]413-the house and gave [me]0-i [a place to stay for the night]609-a place to stay for the night . But the next morning , [Pacey]138-pacey was [the one who helped [me]0-i find [[my]0-i car]595-my car]610-the one who helped me find my car . [Pacey]138-pacey : [I]0-i thought [she]612-her was beautiful when [she]612-her was all wet , but the next morning , [I]0-i could n’t take [my]0-i eyes off [her]612-her . And [I]0-i knew [I]0-i needed to spend every spare moment [I]0-i had listening to [her]612-her stories and enjoying [her]612-her company .

* * *

Three Weeks Later

“ Wow , [sis]2986-sis . . . that ’s some dress , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [Lottie]89-kelsey steps out of [[her]89-kelsey bathroom]613-her bathroom . [Hux]141-hux got it for [me]0-i . Is it too . . . booby ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes fall to [her]89-kelsey very prominent cleavage , and [I]0-i wince . [I]0-i mean , it ’s really booby , but [you]89-kelsey also look hot . The red is perfect for [your]89-kelsey skin and that red lip color is such a great match . Now [I]0-i feel like [a fuddy - duddy in [my]0-i dress]2987-a fuddy - duddy in my dress . ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey has this hourglass shape that [any woman]614-any woman would kill for . Hips and tits , that ’s [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i might have a good rack , but [I]0-i am also more petite than [she]89-kelsey is . [My]0-i curves on the bottom half are n’t like [hers]89-kelsey . And this siren - red form - fitting dress [she]89-kelsey ’s wearing shows off every single curve . And despite the hem falling to [her]89-kelsey calves , it ’s still one of the most revealing yet exquisite dresses [I]0-i ’ve ever seen . “ Stop it . [You]89-kelsey look beautiful . [I]0-i think the yellow was a perfect choice and it goes so nicely with [your]89-kelsey fresh caramel highlights . ”[0-i] [You]89-kelsey think so ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance at [myself]0-i in the full - length mirror positioned in front of [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley ’s bed . [We]615-we all know that mirror is n’t there for checking out outfits . [I]0-i adjust the delicate straps on [my]0-i shoulders and smooth [my]0-i hands over the beautifully expensive silk fabric . The apron neckline cuts just low enough for a decent show of cleavage , while the flowy , long skirt has a slit to just above [my]0-i upper thigh , making [my]0-i short legs look longer in [my]0-i heels . “ God , why am [I]89-kelsey so nervous ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey flips [her]89-kelsey hair over [her]89-kelsey shoulder and then slips on a pair of nude heels . “ Probably because [you]89-kelsey asked [a man on a date to a work event]2988-a man on a date to a work event and [you]89-kelsey ’re worried about it . ”[89-kelsey] That ’s very true . [Edwin]142-edwin is [his]142-edwin name . [He]142-edwin ’s [a computer programmer who works remotely for [a medical tech company]617-a medical tech company]616-a computer programmer who works remotely for a medical tech company . [He]142-edwin loves to cook , go to comic book conventions , and is quite educated on different types of birds . [He]142-edwin ’s really nice , and [we]618-we ’ve been on three dates . This will be [our]618-we fourth . [We]618-we did n’t meet through the Going in Blind app . After [my]0-i date with [JP]87-jp , [I]0-i did n’t want to take any chances on whom [they]619-they ’d match [me]0-i with . But instead , [we]618-we were both at [a coffeehouse]620-a coffeehouse , working . [He]142-edwin spilled [his]142-edwin coffee and [I]0-i helped [him]142-edwin clean it up . [We]618-we started chatting , and well . . . that ’s that . Some of the greatest love affairs start because of spilled coffee , and this very well might be one of them . And the best thing about [Edwin]142-edwin is that [he]142-edwin ’s not [JP]87-jp . [He]142-edwin ’s nothing like [JP]87-jp . [He]142-edwin ’s quieter , reserved , with thick - rimmed glasses and a mess of curly , blond hair . [He]142-edwin told [me]0-i [he]142-edwin ca n’t grow a beard , so [he]142-edwin does n’t even try . And [he]142-edwin ’s slimmer , whereas [JP]87-jp obviously puts time in at [the gym]621-the gym . Oh . . . and not even one tattoo . Everything [I]0-i need in life . Why on earth am [I]0-i even comparing [him]142-edwin to [JP]87-jp ? [JP]87-jp is [a work colleague]622-a work colleague and nothing more . [He]87-jp ’s irrelevant . [I]87-jp ’m a bit nervous . [I]87-jp like [this guy]2740-this guy . [We]2990-we ’ve only been out three times , and sometimes when [he]2740-this guy talks about birds , it can get slightly boring , but [he]2740-this guy ’s so kind and [he]2740-this guy does n’t try to poke [my]87-jp buttons . ”[87-jp] “ The antithesis of [JP]87-jp . ”[89-kelsey] “ Exactly , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while exhaling . “ Not that [JP]87-jp and [I]0-i were ever [an item]2991-an item , but after the night [we]2990-we do n’t talk about . . . which , [you]0-i did n’t tell [Huxley]90-huxley , did [you]0-i ? ”[0-i] “ No . ”[89-kelsey] “ And [you]0-i ’re not mad that [I]89-kelsey ’m making [you]0-i keep it a secret ? It was [your]0-i fault [I]89-kelsey told [you]0-i since [you]0-i kept pestering [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey know . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey turns toward [me]0-i , clutch in hand now . “ And [I]89-kelsey like having a secret from [Huxley]90-huxley . Makes [me]89-kelsey feel naughty . And if [he]2992-he ever finds out . . . ooh , [I]89-kelsey ca n’t wait for the punishment . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes and , standing from the bed , straighten out [my]0-i dress , shimmying the fabric down [my]0-i legs . [Lottie]89-kelsey looks at [me]0-i and smirks . “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Not only are [you]0-i going to make [Edwin]142-edwin fall to the floor , but [JP]87-jp is going to be all over [you]0-i . ”[0-i] “ No , [he]87-jp ’s not . [He]87-jp has barely even looked at [me]89-kelsey during the last three weeks . ”[89-kelsey] “ Does n’t mean [he]87-jp does n’t think about [you]0-i . ”[89-kelsey] “ Will [you]0-i stop it with that ? [He]87-jp never even liked [me]0-i . . . ever . ”[0-i] “ That ’s not what [I]89-kelsey heard . When [he]87-jp first met [you]0-i , [you]0-i were all [he]87-jp could talk about . But [you]0-i were [the one who put up the wall]2993-the one who put up the wall . ”[89-kelsey] “ Because [I]89-kelsey work for [him]87-jp . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey gives [me]0-i a look . “ And [I]89-kelsey worked for [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , well . . . [you]0-i apparently have no morals , but [I]89-kelsey do . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey chuckles just as there ’s a knock at the door . “ Come in , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey calls out . The door pops open and [Huxley]90-huxley steps in . [He]623-his ’s wearing a black , three - piece velvet suit with a black tie , [his]623-his hair is slicked properly to the side , and [his]623-his beard is trimmed just enough to not be messy , but still thick enough to make a mark . [He]623-his exudes confidence as [he]623-his approaches [Lottie]89-kelsey , [his]623-his eyes locked on [her]89-kelsey and only [her]89-kelsey as [he]623-his adjusts the expensive watch on [his]623-his wrist . Without saying anything , [he]623-his closes the space between [them]624-them , wraps [his]623-his arm around [her]89-kelsey waist , and brings [her]89-kelsey up against [his]623-his chest . [I]0-i watch as [he]623-his grips [her]89-kelsey chin with [his]623-his forefinger and thumb , forcing [her]89-kelsey mouth toward [his]623-his , and [she]89-kelsey gives in willingly . Quietly , just above a whisper , [he]623-his says , [You]89-kelsey . Are . [Exquisite]143-exquisite . [I]623-his ’m going to peel that dress off [you]89-kelsey tonight , spread [your]89-kelsey legs , and make [you]89-kelsey come on [my]623-his tongue . ”[623-his] [I]0-i softly clear [my]0-i throat , attempting to clue [him]623-his in that [I]0-i ’m standing right next to [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister . [He]623-his does n’t apologize . [He]623-his simply presses [his]623-his lips to [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s and moves [his]623-his hand down to [her]89-kelsey ass and grips it tightly . “ Fuck , [babe]2728-babe , [you]89-kelsey look so good . ”[623-his] “ Well , what a lovely night for a gala , do n’t [you]623-his think ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , standing there awkwardly . “ Mmm , [I]89-kelsey could easily stay [home]2941-home and sit on [your]0-i face , if [you]0-i want , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . And that ’s [my]0-i cue to leave . [I]626-i ’m just going to . . . uh . . . yeah , [I]626-i ’m going to meet [[you]626-i guys]2996-you guys [downstairs]483-downstairs . ”[626-i] [I]0-i scoot past [them]626-i and [their]626-i wandering hands , hoping [they]626-i realize [they]626-i ’re [my]0-i ride to the event and that [we]627-we need to leave in five minutes . As [I]0-i make [my]0-i way down the stairs to [the entryway]628-the entryway , [I]0-i ca n’t help but feel a bout of jealousy . [Lottie]89-kelsey is so in love , more in love than [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey ’s not only infatuated with [Huxley]90-huxley , but [he]629-he ’s infatuated with [her]89-kelsey . Possessive of [her]89-kelsey . Worships [her]89-kelsey . And , yes , [I]0-i ’m all about independence and [women]2683-women running [the world]2761-the world , but there ’s something to be said about breaking the glass ceiling during the day and coming [home]2941-home to [a man who ’ll do everything in [his]629-he power to remind [you]634-you exactly who [you]634-you belong to]633-a man who ’ll do everything in his power to remind you exactly who you belong to . [Lottie]89-kelsey has that with [Huxley]90-huxley . Will [I]0-i ever have that ? [Edwin]142-edwin flashes through [my]0-i mind as [I]0-i walk down [the stairs]471-the stairs . [He]629-he might not be as power - hungry and domineering as [Huxley]90-huxley , but [he]629-he has traits that excite [me]0-i . For one , [we]636-we have a nice time together . For another , [we]636-we can enjoy a simple conversation . And the kiss [we]636-we shared the other night when [he]629-he walked [me]0-i back to [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment was . . . nice . Sure , [my]0-i shoes did n’t fly off when [our]636-we lips met , but [I]0-i also did n’t hate it . If [I]0-i ’ve learned anything from [my]0-i podcast , it ’s that sometimes the type of passion [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley have for [each other]333-each other does n’t happen right away , but needs time to grow . [Edwin]142-edwin and [I]0-i are still in the learning phase of [our]636-we relationship . There ’s so much more time to grow when it comes to passion . When [I]0-i reach the bottom step , [I]0-i head toward the bench in the entryway , but just then the front door opens and [JP]87-jp walks in , momentarily stopping [me]0-i . [He]87-jp ’s dressed in a navy - blue suit and black button - up shirt , of which [he]87-jp ’s left the top two buttons undone , and [his]87-jp tie is draped over [his]87-jp neck , loose and messy . [His]87-jp hair curls over [his]87-jp forehead in just the right way that [my]0-i eyes are drawn toward the thickness of [his]87-jp brows and the darkness of [his]87-jp lashes . When [he]87-jp spots [me]0-i , a smirk barely crosses [his]87-jp face as [he]87-jp adjusts one of the cuffs of [his]87-jp shirt . Not saying a word to [me]0-i , [he]87-jp heads to the stairs , grips the railing , and shouts up to [Huxley]90-huxley . [Dude]2754-dude , [the van]2999-the van is here . Get [your]2754-dude ass down here . ”[87-jp] To [my]0-i dismay , because [I]0-i ’m curious , [I]0-i ask , “ Wh - what are [you]87-jp doing [here]2716-here ? ”[0-i] [He]87-jp turns around and starts buttoning [his]87-jp shirt . “ What do [you]0-i mean what am [I]87-jp doing [here]2716-here ? Same reason [you]0-i are . ”[87-jp] “ But . . . do n’t [you]87-jp have [[your]87-jp own transportation]3002-your own transportation ? ”[0-i] “ Do n’t [you]0-i ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . [I]87-jp got ready with [Lottie]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]0-i just moved in across [the street]3003-the street and figured it would be more eco - friendly to [all ride together]3004-all ride together . Any other questions ? ”[0-i] That makes [me]0-i shut [my]0-i mouth very quickly . [He]87-jp moved across [the street]3003-the street ? How come [Lottie]89-kelsey never said anything to [me]0-i ? And which house did [he]87-jp move into ? From memory , [I]0-i can recall two that are across the way . [A white one that ’s bright and cheery]640-a white one that ’s bright and cheery , and [an all - black house]641-an all - black house . Black windows , black siding , black roof . [My]0-i guess is . . . that one . [I]0-i keep [my]0-i gaze averted , but out of the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i catch [JP]87-jp adjusting [his]87-jp tie and making loops just as [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey come down [the stairs]471-the stairs , hand in hand , looking pristine and polished . [I]0-i thought [Lottie]89-kelsey might have makeup smeared across [her]89-kelsey face and [Huxley]90-huxley ’s hair would be a total mess . When [they]643-they reach the bottom , [Lottie]89-kelsey pats [JP]87-jp ’s shoulder and says , “ Hey , [neighbor]3005-neighbor , ”[89-kelsey] and then walks up to [me]0-i . Giving [me]0-i a once - over , [she]89-kelsey says , “ Does n’t [[my]89-kelsey sister]414-my sister look beautiful tonight ? ”[89-kelsey] Oh God , [Lottie]89-kelsey . Why ? [She]89-kelsey looks over [her]89-kelsey shoulder at [JP]87-jp who gives [me]0-i the briefest of glances before saying , [I]89-kelsey ’ve seen better . ”[89-kelsey] [Huxley]90-huxley smacks [JP]87-jp on the back of the head and mumbles something under [his]87-jp breath [I]0-i ca n’t quite hear . Then [he]87-jp turns to [me]0-i and says , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey look stunning . [I]87-jp ’m sure [Edwin]142-edwin will be very happy to have [you]89-kelsey on [his]142-edwin arm tonight . ”[87-jp] That pulls [JP]87-jp ’s attention . [Edwin]142-edwin ? Is that [your]87-jp latest attempt at love ? ”[87-jp] “ That is none of [your]87-jp concern , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while taking [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s hand , more for support than anything . [I]0-i wish [she]414-my sister had told [me]0-i [we]645-we ’d be riding with [JP]87-jp , because [I]0-i would n’t have gotten ready with [her]414-my sister . Hell , that ’s probably why [she]414-my sister did n’t say anything . When [our]645-we eyes connect , [I]0-i can see the apology in them . [I]0-i hate [you]414-my sister , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mutter to [her]414-my sister . [I]414-my sister know , ”[414-my sister] [she]414-my sister says back , and together , [we]645-we walk out the door to [the van that ’s parked out front]646-the van that ’s parked out front . It ’s [one of those super fancy electric vans that [celebrities]648-celebrities use when going to [the Met Gala]649-the met gala]647-one of those super fancy electric vans that celebrities use when going to the met gala so [their]648-celebrities dresses are n’t wrinkled . It can also double as [an office on wheels , which is often what [the boys]598-the boys use [it]647-one of those super fancy electric vans that celebrities use when going to the met gala for when [they]598-the boys need to be driven around [town]652-town]650-an office on wheels , which is often what the boys use it for when they need to be driven around town and get work done at the same time . [The driver]653-the driver holds the door open for [us]645-we and [I]0-i step in first , followed by [Lottie]89-kelsey . [We]645-we maneuver to the very back and take [our]645-we seats . [You]87-jp should ’ve told [me]0-i [he]87-jp was coming tonight , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper . [Huxley]90-huxley is talking to [JP]87-jp at the front door of [the house]413-the house . From [their]655-their mannerisms , it seems as though [Huxley]90-huxley is lecturing [JP]87-jp about something . Hopefully how rude [he]87-jp just was . If [I]0-i ’ve learned one thing since [Lottie]89-kelsey started dating [Huxley]90-huxley , it ’s that [I]0-i earned [another person in [my]0-i corner]656-another person in my corner . [Huxley]90-huxley will always stick up for [me]0-i . [I]90-huxley did n’t want [you]87-jp to not get ready with [me]90-huxley because [he]87-jp was going to be [here]2716-here . This is [our]655-their first fancy gala together . [I]90-huxley did n’t want [him]87-jp to ruin it . ”[90-huxley] “ Well , [he]87-jp did . [I]90-huxley mean . . . [he]87-jp ’s seen better , what kind of comment is that ? ”[90-huxley] [A stupid one]3008-a stupid one , because that ’s what [he]87-jp is , stupid . [He]87-jp clearly has feelings for [you]87-jp and does n’t know how to manage them . ”[90-huxley] “ Oh [my]90-huxley God , do n’t give [me]90-huxley that crap . [We]655-their ’re not in [elementary school]3009-elementary school . [He]87-jp can act like [an adult man]3010-an adult man . ”[90-huxley] [I]90-huxley ’m not taking [his]87-jp side , just trying to offer up some sort of explanation as to why [he]87-jp ’s acting like a tool . [I]90-huxley ’ve seen [him]87-jp when [he]87-jp ’s relaxed and [you]87-jp ’re not around , and [he]87-jp ’s really nice , easygoing , and fun . Sure , [he]87-jp teases a lot , but that ’s sort of [his]87-jp way . [I]90-huxley think if [you]87-jp got to know [him]87-jp better , [you]87-jp ’d see the same things . ”[90-huxley] [I]598-the boys do n’t need to get to know [him]87-jp better . What [I]598-the boys know is enough . ”[598-the boys] [The boys]598-the boys walk onto [the van]2999-the van , joining [us]659-us , and [they]598-the boys take [the two captain]660-the two captain ’s chairs in front of [us]659-us , but not before [Huxley]90-huxley gives [Lottie]89-kelsey one of the most consuming glances [I]0-i ’ve ever seen . Listen , [I]0-i do n’t have a crush on [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s fiancé , [I]0-i really do n’t , but [I]0-i have to say , the way [he]662-he looks at [her]414-my sister is incredibly sexy . So sexy that at times , [I]0-i notice how attractive [Huxley]90-huxley is . [I]0-i know , [I]0-i know , [I]0-i should n’t be thinking about [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s fiancé like that , BUT . . . ugh , the way [he]662-he looks at [her]414-my sister . [I]0-i ’m knocked out of [my]0-i inappropriate thoughts when [the driver]653-the driver shuts the door and [we]665-we are on [our]665-we way . “ How long is the drive ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ Twenty minutes , ”[89-kelsey] [Huxley]90-huxley answers . “ It ’s at [the River Estate]3011-the river estate . ”[90-huxley] [Edwin]142-edwin is meeting [you]0-i [there]2954-there ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [He]142-edwin ’ll be a touch late , but [he]142-edwin ’ll be [there]2954-there . [He]142-edwin actually had to rent a suit for the event because [he]142-edwin did n’t have one . It was cute , and [I]0-i helped [him]142-edwin pick one out online . ”[0-i] [What self - respecting man]3014-what self - respecting man does n’t own a suit ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks . [My]0-i eyes flash to the back of [his]87-jp head . [Someone who works from [home]2941-home for a living and does n’t go to events that require a suit]3015-someone who works from home for a living and does n’t go to events that require a suit . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i voice is laced with attitude and for very good reason . [I]0-i do n’t want [JP]87-jp picking on [Edwin]142-edwin . Sure , [I]0-i can handle [his]87-jp snark , but [I]0-i ’m not sure [Edwin]142-edwin has a thick enough skin to handle it . “ Did [your]87-jp date have a dress ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks , taking the attention off [me]0-i . “ Or did [you]87-jp have to buy [her]364-someone one ? ”[89-kelsey] [JP]87-jp turns in [his]87-jp chair and says , [Genesis]144-genesis has multiple dresses , but [I]87-jp still bought [her]364-someone one anyway . ”[87-jp] Wait . . . what ? [JP]87-jp is dating [someone]364-someone ? When did this happen ? [I]0-i mean , not that [I]0-i really care , but [I]0-i did n’t think [he]87-jp was [the dating type]667-the dating type , unless . . . “ Did [you]87-jp hire [her]364-someone to go on this date as well ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . Not sure why [I]0-i ’m poking the bear , but the question flies out of [my]0-i mouth before [I]0-i can stop it . “ Interested in [my]87-jp dating life ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks with a wiggle of [his]87-jp brows . “ No , [I]87-jp ’m not . Not even sure why [I]87-jp asked that . Probably just to goad [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Well , for [your]87-jp information , [I]87-jp ’ve been dating [Genesis]144-genesis for about two weeks now . [She]144-genesis ’s [the vice president of [Mecca Tech]15-mecca tech]3017-the vice president of mecca tech . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s nice , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , looking out the window . [I]0-i hope [[you]87-jp two]3018-you two are very happy together . ”[0-i] [We]3018-you two are , thanks . ”[87-jp] [She]144-genesis only just kissed [him]87-jp the other night , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley chimes in . [Dude]2754-dude , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp bemoans , which of course brings a smile to [my]0-i face . When [I]0-i glance at [Huxley]90-huxley , [he]87-jp sends [me]0-i a wink . [I]0-i knew [I]0-i liked [him]87-jp for more than one reason , besides loving [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister . [JP]87-jp once again turns in [his]87-jp seat and as if [he]87-jp needs to save face in front of [me]0-i , [he]87-jp says , [We]3020-we ’re taking things slow . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp did n’t ask . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i hold [my]0-i hands up , smiling . “ But [you]87-jp know , [Edwin]142-edwin and [I]0-i have shared more than one kiss . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp eyes narrow . “ And were those kisses any good ? Seems like [a guy named [Edwin]142-edwin]3021-a guy named edwin kisses more like a cow licking a salt block than with desirable affection . ”[0-i] [He]142-edwin kisses just fine . ”[89-kelsey] Slightly sloppy , but [JP]87-jp does n’t need to know that . “ Why do n’t [we]3020-we talk about something else ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey suggests . The tension is rising , therefore [Lottie]89-kelsey swoops in with the need to diffuse it . [I]0-i ’m usually [that person]2709-that person , but [I]0-i ’m in the trenches , grenades being tossed around , and [I]0-i ’m sitting back , knocking [them]670-them right back at the thrower . “ Uh , how about the wedding ? [We]3020-we have n’t talked about that much . [Huxley]90-huxley and [I]0-i decided on a beach wedding . ”[0-i] [You]0-i did decide on [the beach]3022-the beach ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , facing [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister now . “ That ’s so exciting . When did [you]0-i decide ? ”[0-i] “ Just now . . . [upstairs]3023-upstairs . [Huxley]90-huxley went by [the cove]3024-the cove and restaurant [you]0-i and [I]0-i looked at the other day and [he]672-his really liked it . ”[0-i] “ Is n’t it breathtaking ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Huxley]90-huxley . “ It was . ”[90-huxley] [His]672-his eyes connect with [Lottie]89-kelsey . [I]672-his could envision marrying [Lottie]89-kelsey there , making [her]89-kelsey officially [mine]672-his . ”[672-his] [His]672-his eyes sear [her]89-kelsey with love and [I]0-i inwardly groan as [I]0-i go back to staring out the window . [They]673-they ’re exhausting to be around . [Lottie]89-kelsey was never the romantic , between [the two of [us]674-the two of us]674-the two of us . [She]89-kelsey ’s been [the one searching out success]675-the one searching out success , looking for validation in [her]89-kelsey work . [I]0-i happened to stumble upon [my]0-i business while seeking out love . [I]0-i was the one who read all the books about romance , watched all the movies . . . hell , [I]0-i started a podcast based on love . And yet , [I]0-i ’m loveless , and [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister is consumed by it . Where ’s the luck there ? [Hint]145-hint — there ’s none . Just wait , [Edwin]142-edwin and [I]0-i will get [there]2954-there . Slowly but surely , [we]674-the two of us ’ll get [there]2954-there .

* * *

The van door opens and cameras immediately start flashing . Tonight ’s gala is supposed to be a star - studded event , full of [high - society members]679-high - society members and [a few celebrities]680-a few celebrities . All proceeds benefit [the Children ’s Hospital]681-the children ’s hospital , and just to get through the doors , it ’s five thousand dollars a head . [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises paid for [my]0-i ticket and [Edwin]142-edwin ’s without blinking an eye . And [the River Estate]3011-the river estate is [a gorgeous mansion in [the epicenter of [Beverly Hills]3-beverly hills]684-the epicenter of beverly hills]683-a gorgeous mansion in the epicenter of beverly hills . [It]3011-the river estate ’s [one of the largest properties in [the area]686-the area]685-one of the largest properties in the area , with [a sprawling , circular driveway]687-a sprawling , circular driveway , towering palm trees lined up along [the pavement]688-the pavement , and a grand entrance to [the estate]689-the estate fit only for [royalty]690-royalty . [Huxley]90-huxley is the first to exit [the van]2999-the van and , as talked about prior to arriving , [Lottie]89-kelsey will follow behind [him]142-edwin , and [they]692-they will walk the red carpet , hand in hand . [JP]87-jp and [I]0-i are to follow , separately . [Lottie]89-kelsey offers [me]0-i a wink before moving by [me]0-i and heading out of [the van]2999-the van . Together , [they]692-they walk down the carpet , pulling the attention away from who ’s left . Just the way [I]0-i like it . [JP]87-jp gets out next and buttons [his]87-jp suit jacket once [he]87-jp exits . [I]0-i take a deep breath and then make [my]0-i way out , but just as [I]0-i reach the second step , [my]0-i heel catches on something and [my]0-i body falls forward . Oh God , no . Cameras flash , [I]0-i lose [my]0-i balance , and just as [I]0-i start to plummet forward , a hand closes around [my]0-i elbow and steadies [me]0-i so [I]0-i do n’t fall . [My]0-i eyes quickly land on [JP]87-jp , who smiles thoughtfully . Under [his]87-jp breath , [he]87-jp says , “ Easy there , [killer]3025-killer . Would n’t want to make a spectacle on [your]3025-killer first red carpet . ”[87-jp] And [I]0-i do n’t know what throws [me]0-i off more , [his]87-jp kind gesture of helping [me]0-i or the soft tone of [his]87-jp voice that rolls over [me]0-i as [he]87-jp helps [me]0-i all the way out of [the van]2999-the van . Either way , color [me]0-i shocked . Given the tumultuous nature of [our]695-our relationship , [I]0-i would ’ve thought [he]87-jp ’d have stepped to the side and let [me]0-i land flat on [my]0-i face , only to gather the cameras around [me]0-i to take pictures . Look , [folks]696-folks , come closer , come closer , see how [she]697-she missed that step completely ? Notice the gravel stuck to the side of [her]697-she cheek . Oh , oh , wait , yes , zoom in , [she]697-she bit [her]697-she tongue on the way down , attempting to hold back a slew of curse words [I]0-i ’ve heard [her]697-she say before . Be alarmed , [she]697-she says “ fuck . ”[697-she] [You]0-i okay ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp voice growing close to [my]0-i ear . “ Ye - yeah . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i stumble over the words that seem to be getting lost in [my]0-i throat . [He]87-jp ’s right next to [me]0-i , shoulder to shoulder , still holding [my]0-i hand . [Anyone who is n’t privileged to [our]699-we hostile banter]698-anyone who is n’t privileged to our hostile banter would assume [we]699-we ’re [a couple]700-a couple . Which [we]699-we very much are n’t . [You]0-i sure ? [You]0-i seem unsteady , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , still holding [my]0-i hand as [we]699-we walk toward the entrance . Thankfully , thanks to [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley , not too many cameras are paying attention to [us]699-we . “ Just a little shaken . ”[90-huxley] “ Here , come this way , then , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , ushering [me]0-i around [the gauntlet of photographers]701-the gauntlet of photographers to a back entrance where a few cars are parked , most likely ready to sneak [people]2736-people in and out . When [we]699-we reach the door , [JP]87-jp opens it for [me]0-i and [we]699-we ’re greeted by [a doorman]703-a doorman . [JP Cane]87-jp , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . [The man]355-the man does n’t even bother looking at the clipboard in [his]355-the man hand , [he]355-the man just offers [us]699-we a curt nod and then lets [us]699-we in the back entrance . Once inside , [we]699-we pause a few feet away from the door and [I]0-i lean against the wall , composing [myself]0-i . “ God , [I]0-i almost fell flat on [my]0-i face . ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [my]0-i hand to [my]0-i chest , taking a deep breath . [JP]87-jp is adjusting [his]87-jp tie when [our]699-we eyes connect . “ Thank [you]0-i for helping [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i ’re welcome , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers calmly . Sweetly . Are [we]699-we in some sort of alternate reality ? Because . . . this is a different side of [JP]87-jp , one [I]0-i did n’t know existed . [He]87-jp ’s being . . . nice . There ’s no snark , there ’s no insult , no teasing . [He]87-jp ’s being normal . Did [I]0-i actually trip and , instead of being steadied by [him]87-jp , fall into some sort of black hole ? “ That could ’ve been embarrassing , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , patting down [my]0-i dress and checking to make sure everything is in place . [I]0-i ’ve seen worse . [You]0-i probably would ’ve just fallen to [your]0-i knees , a boob would ’ve popped out , and then it would ’ve been blurred in photos . Not a big deal . ”[0-i] “ Uh , that would ’ve been mortifying to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Seems like a fun Friday night to [me]87-jp , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says with a reassuring smile . [He]87-jp ’s not trying to set [me]0-i off , [he]87-jp ’s just trying to help [me]0-i forget . [He]87-jp takes a step forward , leaving little room between [us]699-we as [he]87-jp reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind [my]0-i ear . [His]87-jp fingers linger . [My]0-i pulse escalates . And oh [my]0-i God , why am [I]0-i reacting to [his]87-jp touch , to [his]87-jp proximity ? Clearing [my]0-i throat , [I]0-i say , “ Well , [I]0-i know that must have been painful for [you]87-jp . Helping [me]0-i , that is . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp eyes study [me]0-i and [I]0-i can feel [myself]0-i wilt under the steely gaze of [his]87-jp green eyes . Just like [Huxley]90-huxley ’s , they ’re hungry , unmistakably intense , and there ’s nothing [I]0-i can do to tear [my]0-i eyes away as [my]0-i core temperature spikes . [His]87-jp cologne — serving more as an aphrodisiac — swirls around [me]0-i , and when [he]87-jp takes another step forward , [my]0-i mouth goes dry . [You]0-i might think [I]87-jp do n’t like [you]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says with a shake of [his]87-jp head , “ but that ’s not the case at all . [I]87-jp actually — ”[87-jp] “ There [you]0-i are , ”[87-jp] calls a feminine voice from down [the hall]705-the hall . [I]87-jp saw [[your]0-i brother]2724-your brother come in but [I]87-jp did n’t see [you]0-i . Got a little worried [you]0-i were going to stand [me]87-jp up . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp looks to the left , where [a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown]706-a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown is standing , looking nervous but also genuine at the same time . “ Hi , ”[706-a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown] [she]706-a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown says to [me]0-i . [I]706-a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown ’m [Genesis]144-genesis . ”[706-a beautiful blonde in a brilliantly sparkling gold gown] “ Oh , hi . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wave while [JP]87-jp puts some distance between [us]707-us , and from the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i catch [him]87-jp pull on the back of [his]87-jp neck , [his]87-jp veins straining . [Genesis]144-genesis , it ’s nice to meet [you]0-i . [I]87-jp ’m [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , as in the sustainable organizer [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i smile politely . “ That would be [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Wow , [I]0-i ’m really impressed with [your]0-i work . [JP]87-jp was showing [me]0-i the kinds of changes [you]0-i ’ve made in [the office]548-the office the other day . ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance at [JP]87-jp . [You]87-jp have ? ”[0-i] That ’s . . . shocking , to say the least . [I]0-i did n’t think [JP]87-jp even cared what [I]0-i did under the guise of [my]0-i job . In all honesty , [I]0-i assumed [he]87-jp thought it was just a bunch of wasted time and resources from the way [he]87-jp approached managing [me]0-i . From the more efficient filing , to the cans of water in [the break room]566-the break room , [I]0-i did n’t think [he]87-jp cared . “ Oh yes , [he]87-jp talks about it all the time . [He]87-jp ’s very impressed by [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] Okay . . . Okay , [everyone]2734-everyone . Let ’s all take a collective breath , because [I]0-i truly , truly think [I]0-i ’m in [a different world]710-a different world right now . What on earth is happening ? [JP Cane]87-jp talks about [me]0-i all the time ? Better yet , [he]87-jp ’s impressed ? That ’s not like [him]87-jp , some might even say quite off - brand for [him]87-jp . Impressed ? No , more like irritated by [my]0-i presence , right ? [You]0-i know [what”—JP]146-what”—jp[87-jp] steps up next to [Genesis]144-genesis and puts [his]87-jp hand on [her]144-genesis back—“I think [I]87-jp have to greet [a couple of people]3028-a couple of people . [Genesis]144-genesis , do [you]144-genesis mind coming with [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] “ Not at all . ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis loops [her]144-genesis arm through [JP]87-jp ’s . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]144-genesis ’d love to talk to [you]89-kelsey more , please find [me]144-genesis this evening . ”[144-genesis] “ Sure . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smile . “ Enjoy . ”[0-i] Together , [I]0-i watch [them]711-them walk away , down [the hall]705-the hall and toward [the party]713-the party . What the hell was all that about ? It almost seemed like [JP]87-jp cared about [me]0-i . Like [he]87-jp did n’t want to see [me]0-i fail , that [he]87-jp actually thought highly of [my]0-i talents . Maybe [I]0-i ’m just delirious . There ’s no way [JP]87-jp has any kind feelings toward [me]0-i . None . The door to the side entrance opens again , and this time , a familiar face smiles at [me]0-i . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says right before pushing [his]142-edwin glasses back up [his]142-edwin nose . [Boy]383-boy , am [I]142-edwin glad to see [you]89-kelsey . Did [you]89-kelsey see all the cameras out there ? ”[142-edwin] [I]0-i chuckle and nod . “ Yeah , [I]0-i almost fell on [my]0-i face in front of [them]3030-them . ”[0-i] “ That would ’ve been a travesty . ”[87-jp] “ Tell [me]87-jp about it . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp walks up to [me]0-i and [I]0-i half expect [him]87-jp to reach out and at least give [me]0-i a hug , maybe a kiss on the cheek , but instead , [he]87-jp pats [me]0-i on the shoulder . “ That ’s a nice color dress . ”[87-jp] A nice color dress ? That ’s all [he]87-jp can say about [my]0-i appearance ? [I]0-i spent a good two hours getting ready today . Curling [my]0-i long , thick , freshly highlighted hair is the main time suck . And then meticulously making sure [I]0-i picked out the perfect lingerie that would accentuate this dress , to make [my]0-i breasts look amazing , and leave no question if there ’s a panty line . Hint — there is n’t . And the compliment [I]0-i get is nice color ? That makes [me]0-i feel . . . sad . Growing up , [I]0-i did n’t have the highest self - esteem when it came to [my]0-i body , because [I]0-i was always compared to [Lottie]89-kelsey , [the goddess with curves]714-the goddess with curves . [I]0-i ’ve tried hard to make [myself]0-i feel beautiful , and it ’s been a journey . And [my]0-i insecurities coupled with [my]0-i inability to be in a relationship have taken their toll on [me]0-i . Tonight , with [JP]87-jp ’s comment and now [Edwin]142-edwin ’s . . . [my]0-i insecurities are tickling the back of [my]0-i mind , telling [me]0-i [I]0-i ’m not good enough .

Chapter Six

[JP]87-jp

“ Did [you]0-i hear what [I]144-genesis said ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks , tugging on [my]0-i arm . “ Hmm ? What ’s that ? Sorry . ”[144-genesis] [I]0-i clear [my]0-i throat . “ It ’s loud in here . ”[144-genesis] “ It is , ”[144-genesis] [she]144-genesis softly says . “ But [I]144-genesis ca n’t help think that [you]0-i ’ve been distracted all night . ”[144-genesis] Because [I]0-i have been . [I]0-i ’ve been distracted by glimpses of a yellow dress sweeping through [the crowd]715-the crowd . A yellow dress that [I]0-i ca n’t seem to get out of [my]0-i head ever since [I]0-i first caught sight of it this evening . A form - fitting creation that wraps around [her]144-genesis waist but drapes down to [her]144-genesis ankles , and the delicate straps that hold up [her]144-genesis mouth - watering tits , and that slit . . . fuck . [I]0-i ’d lied . [Kelsey]89-kelsey had looked — looks — stunning in [her]144-genesis dress . Why on earth [I]0-i said otherwise . . . well , [my]0-i fucking stupid defense mechanism . Do n’t say [you]716-you like [someone]364-someone , because then [you]716-you ’ll never get hurt . Fucking idiotic . But , yeah , [I]0-i have n’t been paying attention to [Genesis]144-genesis because [someone else]2834-someone else has completely captivated [me]0-i . And [I]0-i hate that . Fuck do [I]0-i hate that [she]144-genesis has control over [my]0-i head tonight . After the “ ground rules ”[144-genesis] [she]144-genesis set , [I]0-i chalked up any chances of becoming close with [Kelsey]89-kelsey to absolutely zero . And sure , did [I]0-i assist in that zero percent chance ? Of course [I]0-i did , and [I]0-i ’m not going to pretend [I]0-i did n’t . [I]0-i use instigation as a defense technique , to guard [myself]0-i . [Kelsey]89-kelsey is no exception . [She]89-kelsey ’s the first girl [I]0-i ’ve had more - than - one - night interest in . From the moment [I]0-i met [her]89-kelsey in [the conference room]370-the conference room with [Lottie]89-kelsey , when [they]720-they were pitching [their]720-they organizing services , [I]0-i felt the need to get closer to [her]89-kelsey . To find out who [this strong - willed , intelligent , woman]721-this strong - willed , intelligent , woman is , what makes [her]89-kelsey tick , what brings [her]89-kelsey joy . . . who brings [her]89-kelsey joy . And [I]0-i ’ve tried everything [you]722-you could think of to break down [her]89-kelsey walls . [I]0-i ’ve attempted friendship , which was a complete shitshow . [I]0-i ’ve tried flirting . [I]0-i was knocked down a peg or two rather quickly . [I]0-i tried sarcasm , wit , and well . . . that did n’t go over well either . On the date , [I]0-i reverted to [my]0-i last resort , poking [her]89-kelsey with annoyance . [I]0-i think [we]723-we all know how that ended up — a follow - up the next day with ground rules on how to stay the hell away from [her]89-kelsey . Instruction received . [I]0-i ’m not one to push against the tide , [I]0-i know when [I]0-i ’m simply wasting [my]0-i time , so when [I]0-i met [Genesis]144-genesis at a meeting at [Mecca Tech]15-mecca tech and [we]723-we got on well , [I]0-i did n’t hesitate to give dating a shot . [She]89-kelsey ’s smart and beautiful , and [we]723-we seem compatible . When [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s working at [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises , [I]0-i ’ve behaved professionally , kept [my]0-i eyes down unless asked a direct question , [my]0-i heart guarded , and avoided inhaling [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s flirty perfume . It ’s worked . All of it . Until [she]89-kelsey walked down those stairs tonight . Until [her]89-kelsey hand landed in [mine]0-i when [she]89-kelsey exited [the van]2999-the van . Until [I]0-i helped [her]89-kelsey into [the back entrance of [the estate]689-the estate]725-the back entrance of the estate and caught a rare glimpse of [her]89-kelsey vulnerability , something [she]89-kelsey keeps very well hidden . Now , [I]0-i ’m [a desperate , needy asshole]727-a desperate , needy asshole all over again . “ Sorry , [Genesis]144-genesis , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say softly . “ Work events are always stressful . Even though it ’s supposed to be a fun night out , [I]0-i still have eyes on [me]0-i at any given time . ”[0-i] Very true — [I’m]0-i always stiffer at work events . [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises is always under scrutiny because of how powerful [we]728-we ’ve become . [[Our]728-we competitors]729-our competitors would like nothing more than to see [us]728-we crumble and fall . [I]728-we can totally understand that . The pressure of being [one of [few female vice presidents in [the tech world]3033-the tech world]3032-few female vice presidents in the tech world]3031-one of few female vice presidents in the tech world is intense . Feels the same way , [everyone]2734-everyone is waiting for [me]728-we to make a mistake . ”[728-we] “ Sorry for interrupting , ”[730-a waiter] [a waiter]730-a waiter says , coming to stand before [us]728-we . “ But [they]730-a waiter ’re calling [everyone]2734-everyone to [their]2734-everyone assigned seats as dinner is about to begin . ”[730-a waiter] “ Of course . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod at [the man]355-the man and then offer [my]0-i arm to [Genesis]144-genesis . [She]144-genesis takes it and together [we]728-we walk into [the ballroom of [the estate]689-the estate]732-the ballroom of the estate . [The room]345-the room is bustling with [Beverly Hills elites dressed in [their]735-beverly hills elites dressed in their finest finest]735-beverly hills elites dressed in their finest . From Tom Ford suits to obscure designer gowns , the glitter and the glam of the evening almost overshadow the cause , the reason why [we]728-we ’re [here]2716-here . Typical for most events in [this part of [town]652-town]737-this part of town . [You]739-you pay a fee to attend , and then the rest of the night , business is conducted , gossip is spread , and deals are made with a discreet handshake . But not this event . It ’s one of the reasons why [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers and [I]0-i attend . Right after dinner , [they]741-they remind [guests]742-guests why [we]728-we ’re all [here]2716-here by showing a very poignant video . A video about where [your]739-you money is going , whom [you]739-you ’re helping , and why it ’s so important . [You]739-you not only leave feeling fulfilled , but [you]739-you leave educated and with a slightly lighter wallet . After receiving [our]728-we table number from [the door attendant]744-the door attendant , [we]728-we weave through [the golden ballroom]745-the golden ballroom , which is decked out with low - hanging chandeliers over every long , rectangular table . Each table is decorated with low - profile , lush centerpieces of white lilies , complete place settings , and gold serviettes that match the gold in [the room]345-the room and the golden swirls in the cream tablecloths . An exquisite , intimate dinner that provides the opportunity for [attendees]747-attendees to communicate easily across the table . “ What table are [we]728-we again ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks . “ Table two , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ It ’ll be up front . [They]3036-they always stick [us]728-we up front . ”[0-i] [We]728-we ’re stopped by [a few attendees who shake [my]0-i hand]748-a few attendees who shake my hand . [I]0-i introduce [Genesis]144-genesis , [she]144-genesis hands out [her]144-genesis card , and when [we]728-we finally make it to [our]728-we table , [I]0-i ’m ready to drop the smile for a second and just breathe . That ’s until [I]0-i see that the only place setting available is directly across from [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [[her]89-kelsey date]749-her date . Fucking great . [I]0-i scan the table , and when [I]0-i see [a smirking Breaker]750-a smirking breaker glance up at [me]0-i , [I]0-i wonder how much of this seating arrangement was because of [him]750-a smirking breaker . “ Seems like [we]751-we ’re right over here . ”[0-i] [I]0-i direct [Genesis]144-genesis to the table and pull out [her]144-genesis seat for [her]144-genesis . For a brief second , [my]0-i eyes connect with [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s , but [she]89-kelsey quickly looks away and adjusts the silverware in front of [her]89-kelsey . Well , seems like the moment [we]751-we had at the back entrance is gone . Probably better off since [she]89-kelsey ’s with [her]89-kelsey — wait , is that [[her]89-kelsey date]749-her date ? [A gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair is perched next to [her]89-kelsey , fidgeting , and pushing up [his]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair glasses every few seconds . [He]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair looks very out of place , rather uncomfortable , and [his]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair ill - fitted suit practically swallows [his]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair neck in [his]753-a gangly man with glasses and frumpy hair seated position . This is [Edwin]142-edwin ? This is [the guy [Kelsey]89-kelsey has been seeing]754-the guy kelsey has been seeing ? [I]0-i think [I]0-i know enough about [Kelsey]89-kelsey to know [this guy]2740-this guy — just from appearance , yeah , [I]0-i ’m judging — is an absolute dud . [Genesis]144-genesis ? ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says as [his]142-edwin eyes connect with [[my]0-i date]2822-my date . [Genesis]144-genesis glances across the table as [I]0-i take a seat and then audibly gasps . [Edwin]142-edwin , oh [my]89-kelsey gosh . Wow , how are [you]142-edwin ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [I]0-i exchange confused glances . [You]757-both of them two know [each other]333-each other ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Genesis]144-genesis , who ’s now leaning over the table to reach out and take [Edwin]142-edwin ’s hand . [He]142-edwin grips it tightly . [I]142-edwin ’m great , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin responds , [both of [them]757-both of them]757-both of them ignoring [me]0-i . [You]142-edwin look . . . wow , [you]142-edwin look stunning . ”[142-edwin] [I]0-i catch [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s reaction to the compliment . A turned - down brow and an insecure look in [her]89-kelsey expression . What ’s that about ? Surely [she]89-kelsey knows [she]89-kelsey ’s gorgeous . “ Thank [you]144-genesis . [You]142-edwin ’ve grown out [your]142-edwin hair . [I]89-kelsey always thought [you]142-edwin looked exceedingly handsome with longer hair . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i clear [my]0-i throat rather loudly and repeat [my]0-i question . [You]757-both of them two know [each other]333-each other ? ”[0-i] “ Oh , sorry , yes . ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis releases [Edwin]142-edwin ’s hand and turns toward [me]0-i . [Edwin]142-edwin and [I]144-genesis attended UCLA together . [We]757-both of them were in [the same study group]3039-the same study group all four years . [We]757-both of them spent many late nights studying together . ”[144-genesis] “ Remember that one night in [the library]3040-the library when [we]757-both of them snuck ice cream in [our]757-both of them backpacks ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis laughs . “ For how smart [we]757-both of them are , that was really dumb . There was ice cream all over [our]757-both of them books . ”[144-genesis] “ How were [we]757-both of them supposed to know [we]757-both of them were going to be stopped by [Professor Harkin]147-professor harkin for half an hour ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis chuckles . [I]144-genesis can still remember the look on [your]142-edwin face when [you]142-edwin pulled [your]142-edwin notebook out of [your]142-edwin backpack , drenched in strawberry shortcake ice cream . ”[144-genesis] “ Thank goodness [you]142-edwin were [a better notetaker]3041-a better notetaker than [I]144-genesis was so [I]144-genesis could copy [your]142-edwin every page . ”[144-genesis] “ Well , anything for [you]142-edwin , [Edwin]142-edwin . ”[144-genesis] [She]144-genesis winks , and [I]0-i can feel [my]0-i irritation start to climb . “ What are [you]142-edwin doing here in [LA]18-la ? [I]144-genesis thought [you]142-edwin were up in [San Jose]19-san jose ? ”[144-genesis] [I]144-genesis was , but three months ago , [I]144-genesis moved down here to be closer to [family]403-family . ”[144-genesis] [Edwin]142-edwin , [you]142-edwin should ’ve called [me]758-me . ”[758-me] [He]758-me blushes , actually freaking blushes . [I]758-me was n’t sure [you]142-edwin ’d want [me]758-me to call [you]142-edwin . ”[758-me] “ Are [you]142-edwin kidding [me]759-me ? Of course , [I]759-me would ’ve wanted [you]142-edwin to call [me]759-me . ”[759-me] And then , [they]759-me fall silent as [they]759-me stare at [each other]333-each other from across the table . Sparks fly . Just like that , the air is thick with an intimate history . And [I]0-i can honestly say , without a doubt , this does n’t look good for [me]0-i or [Kelsey]89-kelsey .

* * *

“ Oh [my]144-genesis gosh , [I]144-genesis completely forgot about that , ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis says , cutting [her]144-genesis salad into more manageable bites . [The baseball team]3043-the baseball team had no idea [you]144-genesis could actually hit a ball , let alone off [[their]3043-the baseball team best pitcher]3044-their best pitcher . ”[144-genesis] [The now very lively Edwin]142-edwin dusts off [his]142-edwin shoulders . “ Sometimes [the nerd]3045-the nerd can play a little sport too . ”[144-genesis] “ And get [the ladies]3046-the ladies , ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis says with a wink . [Kelsey]89-kelsey pushes [her]89-kelsey salad to the side while [I]0-i dab [my]0-i mouth with [my]0-i napkin , not sure how to contribute to this conversation . All [I]0-i can think of is how [athletes]761-athletes usually do n’t use the phrase “ play a little sport . ”[761-athletes]

* * *

“ Wow , [I]144-genesis am so impressed with [you]142-edwin right now , [Edwin]142-edwin . ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis smiles brightly . “ Impressed with [me]142-edwin ? ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says , pointing the tip of [his]142-edwin fork at [his]142-edwin chest . [You]144-genesis ’re [the one who ’s [the vice president of [Mecca Tech]15-mecca tech]3017-the vice president of mecca tech]3047-the one who ’s the vice president of mecca tech . ”[142-edwin] [Genesis]144-genesis waves [him]142-edwin off . “ But [you]142-edwin ’ve changed the medical field in the best way possible . ”[144-genesis] “ What did [you]142-edwin do ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks , attempting to butt into the conversation . But like every other attempt , [she]89-kelsey ’s brushed off . [I]142-edwin thought about [you]144-genesis , the night [I]142-edwin got [my]142-edwin award , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says . [I]142-edwin considered calling [you]144-genesis . ”[142-edwin] [You]142-edwin should have . [I]89-kelsey would ’ve answered in a flash . ”[89-kelsey] A flash , huh ? Well , [she]89-kelsey takes at least a few hours to answer [my]0-i text messages . Not sure why [I]0-i divulged that deprecating information , but there [you]762-you have it . Clearly , [I]0-i ’m not as important as [Edwin]142-edwin .

* * *

[I]0-i take a very large bite of [my]0-i dessert as [Genesis]144-genesis laughs so loud [I]0-i feel like stuffing [her]144-genesis half - eaten piece of bread into [my]0-i ear to drown out the noise . “ The pants are in the oven , oh [my]144-genesis God . ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis waves [her]144-genesis hand in front of [her]144-genesis face , warding off [her]144-genesis tears of laughter . The joke is n’t that funny . The pants are in the oven being the punchline . . . honestly , [I]0-i do n’t even get it . And from the looks of it , neither does [Kelsey]89-kelsey , who ’s mindlessly sipping [her]89-kelsey water , looking around [the ballroom]763-the ballroom . [I]142-edwin knew [you]144-genesis ’d like that one , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says . [You]144-genesis ’ve always had a great sense of humor . ”[142-edwin] [You]144-genesis always know how to make [me]144-genesis laugh , ”[144-genesis] [she]144-genesis replies . [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ . [Barf]149-barf .

* * *

“ Wait , so [Christie]150-christie and [Matt]151-matt broke up ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks . [I]144-genesis thought [they]764-they were meant to be together forever . ”[144-genesis] Clearly , [they]764-they were n’t . [Christie]150-christie was cheating on [Matt]151-matt , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says . Ooh , now . . . this is some juice [I]0-i can get on board with . Let ’s dive into the specifics . “ What ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks . “ But [she]3049-she told [me]144-genesis [Matt]151-matt was the best [she]3049-she ’d ever had . ”[144-genesis] “ It was with [[her]3049-she strength coach]3050-her strength coach , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says . “ Wait . . . Strength with [Sven]152-sven ? [Him]152-sven ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks . When [Edwin]142-edwin nods , [she]144-genesis slaps the table . “ Have [you]142-edwin seen [his]152-sven Instagram ? [He]152-sven has a ‘ [fans only ’ page]3051-fans only ’ page . ”[144-genesis] Which could probably mean one thing : poor [Matt]151-matt ’s penis was eclipsed by [Sven]152-sven ’s most likely mammoth of a cannon . [I]0-i ’m not particularly thrilled about being ignored this entire night , but the gossip about [Matt]151-matt and [Christie]150-christie has at least captured [my]0-i interest for a second . Do n’t know [the people]765-the people , but [their]765-the people adultery gossip is more entertaining than [Edwin]142-edwin ’s lackluster jokes . Does n’t seem like [everyone]2734-everyone is as keen on the Matt - and - [Christie]150-christie drama though . When [I]0-i glance over at [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i spot [her]89-kelsey leaning on the table , [her]89-kelsey chin in [her]89-kelsey hand , looking wearier than ever . [I]0-i ’m trying not to let [this girl]2758-this girl get in [my]0-i head again , but [I]0-i actually feel bad for [her]89-kelsey , seeing [her]89-kelsey so bored . Seems like there ’s only one solution to this unconventional evening , one solution that will make this situation slightly more bearable . . .

* * *

“ Why on earth would [you]0-i switch seats with [Edwin]142-edwin ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks through clenched teeth . Not sure [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [a woman so perfectly poised and ballistically heated at the same time]768-a woman so perfectly poised and ballistically heated at the same time . Well . . . [I]0-i thought this was going to be a good idea . Once again , [I]0-i ’m proven wrong . [I]0-i switched with [Edwin]142-edwin so at least [we]771-we did n’t have to hear about the old UCLA days anymore , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer while leaning back in [my]0-i chair and staring around [the ballroom]763-the ballroom . The presentation about [the Children ’s Hospital]681-the children ’s hospital just ended , and for a second , [I]0-i thought that was going to be [our]771-we out , that once the lights turned back on , [I]0-i would be able to sneak [Genesis]144-genesis away and bring [her]144-genesis attention back to [me]0-i . Once the presentation was done , however , [Edwin]142-edwin leaned across the table and started rambling on about [the coffee shop [they]773-they used to go to all the time]772-the coffee shop they used to go to all the time . Fucking boring shit . [I]0-i could n’t sit through it anymore , so [I]0-i switched seats with [him]142-edwin , which [he]142-edwin gladly jumped on . And now that [I]0-i ’m sitting next to [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i ’m wondering if that was a good idea after all and if [I]0-i should n’t have just stuck out the monotony of traveling down [memory lane]774-memory lane with [Genesis]144-genesis and [Edwin]142-edwin . Did n’t [anyone]377-anyone ever teach [them]773-they ignoring [their]773-they dates is just fucking rude ? But , no , now [I]0-i ’m stuck with [a prickly , unappreciative woman who barely looks [my]0-i way]776-a prickly , unappreciative woman who barely looks my way . Here [I]0-i was , trying to be [a Good Samaritan]777-a good samaritan , help [a damsel in boiling distress]778-a damsel in boiling distress and come to [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress rescue , maybe give [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress [someone to talk to]779-someone to talk to , but clearly , [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress ’d rather stare off into the distance and listen to a reminiscing [Edwin]142-edwin than talk to [me]0-i . If [I]0-i were [a better man]780-a better man , [I]0-i ’d sit in silence with [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress . But [I]0-i think at this point , [we]781-we all know [I]0-i ’m not going to allow that attitude to slide . Leaning in close to [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i whisper , “ Do [you]89-kelsey actually like [that guy]378-that guy ? ”[0-i] The chill , ice - queen façade around [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress warms — only slightly — as [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress shrugs and casually examines [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress nude , manicured nails . [I]778-a damsel in boiling distress thought [he]378-that guy was nice . ”[778-a damsel in boiling distress] “ Is that what [you]0-i ’re looking for ? Nice ? ”[0-i] [I]778-a damsel in boiling distress ’m not looking for [an asshole]2819-an asshole , if that ’s what [you]0-i ’re asking , ”[778-a damsel in boiling distress] [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress says while giving [me]0-i a once - over . “ Are [you]0-i calling [me]778-a damsel in boiling distress [an asshole]2819-an asshole ? ”[778-a damsel in boiling distress] “ If the shoe fits , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean in so only [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress can hear [me]0-i when [I]0-i say , “ The shoe absolutely does not fit . If [you]778-a damsel in boiling distress actually got to know [me]0-i , [you]778-a damsel in boiling distress ’d see that [I]0-i ’m more than what [you]778-a damsel in boiling distress assume of [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]778-a damsel in boiling distress do n’t agree . [You]778-a damsel in boiling distress ca n’t seem to take anything seriously , which [I]778-a damsel in boiling distress think is obnoxious , [you]778-a damsel in boiling distress ’re messy , something [I]778-a damsel in boiling distress abhor , and [you]778-a damsel in boiling distress see the glass as half empty , rather than half full . ”[778-a damsel in boiling distress] [She]778-a damsel in boiling distress crosses one leg over the other and rests [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress hands on [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress lap . Well , is n’t [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress just a fucking ball of fun ? [I]0-i see , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . Not the definition of [an asshole]2819-an asshole , but it would probably be asshole - ish for [me]0-i to point that out . [She]778-a damsel in boiling distress has [me]0-i all wrong . Sure , [my]0-i desk is messy , but that ’s the way [I]0-i fucking like it . And [I]0-i might be obnoxious , but [I]0-i ca n’t help the way [I]0-i seek attention . It ’s in [my]0-i bones and [I]0-i should n’t be chastised for that . And the glass half empty ? That ’s called being [a realist]783-a realist . [I]0-i ’m not going to parade around thinking [the world]2761-the world is made up of puppy - and - kitty parties where fanciful Parisian desserts are served and romantic comedies blast on repeat as background music . Sorry . [I]0-i ’ve been through too much shit growing up , being sucked into a profession [I]0-i never asked for and ending up stuck with no way out , to sit here and say , yes . . . [I]0-i ’m living a glass - half - full life . [I]0-i might have money , but what [they]785-they say is true — money ca n’t buy happiness , and that ’s the most honest thing [I]0-i ’ve ever heard . [I]0-i ’m not sure how [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress developed such a low opinion of [me]0-i , but it seems to have stuck with [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress . Okay , [I]0-i know . . . [I]0-i know , [I]0-i was kind of [a dick]786-a dick on [our]787-our surprise date , but what was [I]0-i supposed to do , sit back and let [her]778-a damsel in boiling distress act like it ’s the worst thing ever that [she]778-a damsel in boiling distress was paired with [me]0-i ? [A guy]788-a guy has to save [his]788-a guy dignity somehow . Just then , [Edwin]142-edwin stands from [his]142-edwin chair and takes [Genesis]144-genesis ’s hand in [his]142-edwin . Turning to [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [he]142-edwin asks , “ Would it be all right if [I]142-edwin took [Genesis]144-genesis out for a spin on [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor ? ”[142-edwin] Hell , the fucking balls on [this man]2781-this man . Here [I]0-i thought [he]2781-this man was a bit cowardly with a penchant to touch [his]2781-this man glasses every six seconds , but then [he]2781-this man goes and pulls this stunt . Takes a massive amount of douchery to do something like this . [I]0-i did n’t know [he]2781-this man had it in [him]2781-this man . “ Of course . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey kindly smiles , but that smile is quickly wiped away when [the happy “ couple ”]3056-the happy “ couple ”[3056-the happy “ couple ”] turn away and head to [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor . “ Oof , that has got to sting , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Uh , [he]2781-this man stole [your]89-kelsey date , so [I]0-i ’m not [the only loser here]3057-the only loser here . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shrug . [I]0-i was n’t too attached to [her]2781-this man . Honestly , [I]0-i just brought [her]2781-this man because [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers said [I]0-i should have a date . ”[0-i] “ Then how come [Breaker]97-breaker did n’t bring [anyone]377-anyone ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance over at [[my]0-i single brother , who ’s entertaining [a circle of women]792-a circle of women]791-my single brother , who ’s entertaining a circle of women . “ Because [he]791-my single brother , who ’s entertaining a circle of women ’s able to pass off the appearance that [he]791-my single brother , who ’s entertaining a circle of women ’s with [someone]364-someone , when really [he]791-my single brother , who ’s entertaining a circle of women is n’t . [Younger brother]3061-younger brother showmanship type of stuff . ”[793-she] [She]793-she folds [her]793-she arms over [her]793-she chest and says , “ This night is stupid . ”[793-she] “ Tell [me]793-she how [you]793-she really feel . ”[793-she] [I]793-she ’d rather not . ”[793-she] “ Why not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [We]3062-we ’re both here , have been ditched by [[our]3062-we dates]3063-our dates . Might as well delight in [each other]333-each other ’s company . ”[793-she] “ There ’s nothing delightful about [[your]793-she company]2719-your company . ”[793-she] [Jesus]148-jesus christ , [she]793-she ’s snappy . Good comeback , though . Got to give credit where credit ’s due . “ So , what was so delightful about [[Edwin]142-edwin ’s company]3066-edwin ’s company ? Before [he]142-edwin lit up with an onslaught of memories , [he]142-edwin seemed like a bit of [a bore]3067-a bore . ”[793-she] [He]142-edwin was n’t boring , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says . “ Just different . ”[89-kelsey] “ Different ? How so ? ”[793-she] Warming up a bit more , [she]793-she answers , “ Well , [he]142-edwin likes birds , and [I]793-she found that fascinating . Not the bird facts , that actually was a bit rough at times , but that [he]142-edwin was so in tune with nature that [he]142-edwin could recognize specific bird chirps of each species . ”[793-she] “ Is that how [he]142-edwin lured [you]794-you into [his]142-edwin bed ? Chirping and flapping [his]142-edwin arms ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s eyes dart to [mine]794-you in a deathly stare . “ For [your]794-you information , [we]3068-we never went to bed together . Just a kiss . And [he]142-edwin ’s not a geek who speaks bird to unhook a bra . [He]142-edwin just likes to tell stories . ”[89-kelsey] “ Gathered that from the mundane conversation [he]142-edwin shared over the table . ”[793-she] “ As if [Genesis]144-genesis was any better , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey snaps . “ What did [you]794-you even see in [her]144-genesis ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Stature , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer honestly . “ Eww , that ’s repulsive . ”[0-i] “ At least [I]89-kelsey was with [someone]364-someone for a purpose . [You]794-you were with [Edwin]142-edwin because [you]794-you were desperate . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey gasps and now fully turns toward [me]0-i . [I]89-kelsey was not desperate . [I]89-kelsey ’m trying to find [[my]89-kelsey soulmate]374-my soulmate , [you]794-you know , someone to fall in love with , not that [you]794-you could ever relate to that kind of emotion with that cold , lifeless heart of [yours]794-you . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i press [my]0-i hand to [my]0-i chest and say , “ Lifeless , not so much . There ’s quite a steady pulse beating through [my]0-i soulless veins . Cold , though , now that ’s an accurate description . ”[0-i] When [she]89-kelsey turns away , [I]0-i push [her]89-kelsey a little more and ask , “ What did [he]3071-he think of [your]89-kelsey dress ? ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey glances at [me]0-i over [her]89-kelsey bare shoulder . “ What do [you]0-i mean ? ”[89-kelsey] “ When [Edwin]142-edwin saw [you]89-kelsey tonight , did [he]3071-he wax poetic about how [you]89-kelsey reminded [him]3071-he of [his]3071-he favorite chickadee perched amongst a field of flowers ? ”[89-kelsey] [He]3071-he did not . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey lifts [her]89-kelsey chin . “ Okay , so then what did [he]3071-he say ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Why does it matter ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Because [you]89-kelsey say [you]89-kelsey ’re looking for love . A simple reaction to [your]89-kelsey appearance tonight would warrant [you]89-kelsey an answer on where [he]3071-he stands with [you]89-kelsey . What did [he]3071-he say ? A simple [you]89-kelsey ’re beautiful ? Maybe a shy . . . wow ? ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey clenched jaw works back and forth as [she]89-kelsey stares at the dance floor . [He]3071-he said [I]89-kelsey was wearing a nice colored dress . ”[89-kelsey] “ And ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ That was it . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey picks up [her]89-kelsey glass of water and takes a sip . “ Wait , that ’s all [he]3071-he said ? That [you]89-kelsey had on a nice colored dress ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey carefully sets down [her]89-kelsey glass and [I]0-i can see [her]89-kelsey bitter movements , the way [she]89-kelsey clenches [her]89-kelsey fists , and the longing in [her]89-kelsey eyes as [she]89-kelsey stares at [each couple on the dance floor]795-each couple on the dance floor . [I]0-i do n’t know how long [she]89-kelsey took to get ready tonight . [I]0-i ca n’t imagine what [she]89-kelsey went through picking out the perfect dress . Nor could [I]0-i imagine the excitement [she]89-kelsey felt about [[her]89-kelsey date]749-her date seeing [her]89-kelsey — because [she]89-kelsey ’s a vision . But [I]0-i ’ve watched [Kelsey]89-kelsey for several months now , and [I]0-i know when [she]89-kelsey ’s annoyed , and probably when [she]89-kelsey ’s hurt . So [I]0-i ’m sure about one thing — the time [she]89-kelsey spent getting ready for tonight was enough time to warrant a better reaction than nice colored dress . And it makes [me]0-i feel even shittier for telling [her]89-kelsey [I]0-i ’d seen better . Shit .

Chapter Seven

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

[I]0-i wish [he]797-he ’d leave [me]0-i alone . [I]0-i wish [I]0-i had n’t been left here at the table , with [JP]87-jp as [the only person]798-the only person to talk to . Hell , [I]0-i wish [Edwin]142-edwin had an ounce of self - awareness and did n’t leave [me]0-i hanging , especially since [I]0-i was [the one who brought [him]142-edwin here]799-the one who brought him here . But that ’s not [my]0-i luck , is it ? And , of course , during the presentation , [I]0-i got a text from [Lottie]89-kelsey , who has been [MIA]153-mia this entire party . [She]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley were headed back to [the house]413-the house . This was followed by an eggplant emoji and three squirting drops . [She]89-kelsey also trusted [Edwin]142-edwin would drive [me]0-i back to [[her]89-kelsey place]801-her place to pick up [[my]0-i car]595-my car . If only [she]89-kelsey knew . [I]87-jp asked [you]0-i a question , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says next to [me]0-i . Lost in thought , [I]0-i say , “ Uh . . . what was the question ? ”[0-i] [Edwin]142-edwin , all [he]142-edwin said was that [you]142-edwin had a nice colored dress ? ”[0-i] Oh , yes , [we]803-we ’re still on that . [I]87-jp do n’t want to talk about it . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp pauses and [I]0-i can feel [his]87-jp eyes on [me]0-i . In fact , [they]804-they have n’t left [me]0-i since [he]87-jp switched seats with [Edwin]142-edwin . [His]87-jp green irises , focused completely in [my]0-i direction , like [a nagging mother]805-a nagging mother , tapping [me]0-i on the shoulder every few seconds with questions [I]0-i do n’t want to answer . Should n’t [he]87-jp be looking toward the dance floor to reclaim [[his]87-jp date]806-his date ? [[His]87-jp beautiful , sweet date]807-his beautiful , sweet date . . . who definitely seems more into [Edwin]142-edwin than [JP]87-jp . So , so weird . “ Fine , then . . . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp holds out [his]87-jp hand . “ Come dance with [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i glance down at [his]87-jp large palm and long fingers and then back up at [him]87-jp . “ Excuse [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] Leaning in close , [his]87-jp cologne soft and seductive as it swirls around [me]0-i , [he]87-jp says , “ Dance with [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Okay . . . Dance with [JP]87-jp . [I]0-i can list more than enough reasons why [I]0-i do n’t want to do that . One — being held by [him]87-jp is at the very bottom of things [I]0-i want to do . Two — [I]0-i ca n’t imagine a scenario where [I]0-i do n’t accidentally knee [him]87-jp in the crotch for something annoying [he]87-jp ’ll say while [we]808-we dance . And three — [his]87-jp cologne is far too enticing at the moment . [I]0-i like the smell of it , which would possibly make [me]0-i think positively toward [him]87-jp , and [I]0-i do n’t want that . [I]0-i want to forever think [he]87-jp ’s the worst . But . . . [Pride]154-pride is a funny thing . [I]0-i came to this gala with all the intention of getting lost in an evening with [a nice guy]809-a nice guy . [I]0-i assumed [we]808-we ’d talk about the different nests each one of [Edwin]142-edwin ’s favorite birds make , [I]0-i would have a few glasses of champagne and hope that maybe . . . just maybe , [Edwin]142-edwin would have enough confidence in [himself]142-edwin to try to at least push [me]0-i against [[his]87-jp car]810-his car and make out with [me]0-i . [I]0-i think [we]808-we all can agree that such imagined events wo n’t be transpiring tonight . [I]0-i do n’t want to be [the girl that was ditched at the event]811-the girl that was ditched at the event . [I]0-i do n’t want to be [the girl in the nice colored dress]812-the girl in the nice colored dress , and [I]0-i do n’t want to leave this evening feeling like [I]0-i was [the last girl picked]813-the last girl picked . . . if that makes sense . [I]0-i want to feel valued , and even though taking the hand of [JP Cane]87-jp would be like conducting a waltz with [the devil]814-the devil , [I]0-i ’m desperate . [You]0-i know , it would be rude to say no , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . “ When [a man]2703-a man offers a dance , it ’s the polite thing to do to take [his]2703-a man hand . ”[87-jp] When [I]0-i do n’t say anything , [he]87-jp adds , [You]0-i ca n’t possibly just sit here like a wallflower the rest of the night . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i eyes flash to [his]87-jp . “ Wow , [you]0-i sure know how to woo [a woman]3073-a woman . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks . “ Thank [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] “ That was n’t a compliment . ”[87-jp] “ Felt like one to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Could [he]87-jp be any more infuriating ? Wait , do n’t answer that . [I]0-i ’m sure [he]87-jp can . Ugh , [God]92-god , [I]0-i ca n’t believe [I]0-i ’m doing this . [I]0-i place [my]0-i hand in [his]87-jp and watch as [his]87-jp face lights up with a rakish grin . “ Good choice , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] Remember what [I]0-i said about the whole “ kneeing in the crotch ”[0-i] thing ? Chances have just increased . [He]87-jp ’s the first to stand from [his]87-jp chair and then [he]87-jp helps [me]0-i up and ushers [me]0-i to the side so [he]87-jp can push [our]815-we chairs in . For some reason , it feels as if every eye in [the ballroom]763-the ballroom is on [us]815-we as [we]815-we slowly weave through the crowded tables . Why could n’t [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor be at the front of [the room where [we]815-we are]818-the room where we are , rather than at the side ? [He]87-jp stops to shake hands with [a few people]819-a few people , [a gallant businessman working [the room]345-the room]820-a gallant businessman working the room . [He]87-jp keeps [his]87-jp hand on the small of [my]0-i back while [he]87-jp speaks , never neglecting to introduce [me]0-i and what [I]0-i do . It ’s . . . a kind thing to do . The right thing to do . [Professional]822-professional . [I]0-i ’m sure business etiquette has been drilled into [him]87-jp from a young age , so it ’s only second nature to conduct [himself]87-jp in this way . It has nothing to do with [me]0-i . “ Sorry , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp whispers into [my]0-i ear as [we]815-we make [our]815-we way closer to [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor . “ It ’s impossible to walk anywhere in these events without getting stopped . ”[87-jp] “ Do n’t flatter [yourself]0-i . The need to talk to [you]0-i is out of obligation . [These people]3074-these people do n’t actually like [you]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i really want to bite [my]0-i tongue . Clearly [Edwin]142-edwin dissing [me]0-i has affected [me]0-i more than [I]0-i thought . Or maybe , [I]0-i do n’t want to look like [a loser in front of [JP]87-jp]824-a loser in front of jp . If anything , watching [him]87-jp network [the room]345-the room has been a great lesson for [me]0-i . [He]87-jp has the sort of business acumen [I]0-i admire . But . . . [I]0-i need to remain unfazed . [His]87-jp nose moves close to [my]0-i ear as [his]87-jp hand is at [my]0-i back , guiding [me]0-i . “ Mmm , [I]87-jp love it when [you]87-jp talk dirty to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp ’re obnoxious . ”[87-jp] “ So [you]87-jp ’ve said before . ”[87-jp] “ Just reminding [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [We]826-we ’re nearly clear of the tables now , and [he]87-jp smooths [his]87-jp hand over [my]0-i back , ushering [me]0-i ahead of [him]87-jp . “ Do n’t need a remin - ooooof ! ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp exhales against [my]0-i skin , like a gust of very strong wind . There ’s a loud crash and then a horrifying thud . [I]0-i turn just in time to see [JP]87-jp ’s body bounce off [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor , [his]87-jp arms clutching [his]87-jp stomach , [his]87-jp long legs stretched out . “ What on earth — ”[87-jp] [Mother]3075-mother . . . fu — ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp starts to say but stops [himself]87-jp . Eyes wincing with an immense amount of pain , [he]87-jp takes a few deep breaths , and just when [I]0-i think [he]87-jp ’s about to unleash a plethora of swear words , [the room]345-the room falls silent . All eyes are on [us]829-us . [He]87-jp groans . Winces in pain once more and then lets out a loud . . . forceful reaction . . . [Golly]155-golly . . . goodness , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp groans . [Golly goodness]155-golly ? [No motherfucker]830-no motherfucker ? No holy shit ? [No fuckety fuck fuck]831-no fuckety fuck fuck ? Just a simple , classic , [George Bailey]156-george bailey from [It]832-it ’s a Wonderful Life “ golly goodness . ”[0-i] [I]0-i snort . [My]0-i hand covers [my]0-i face and [I]0-i attempt to hold back the laughter that ’s bubbling up inside of [me]0-i . If [I]0-i know one thing about [JP Cane]87-jp , it ’s that [he]87-jp ’s not [the golly goodness type]833-the golly goodness type . [He]87-jp ’s the guy that whispers the words throbbing cock in [your]834-your ear , repeatedly , just for the hell of it . Unsure of what to do , [I]0-i consider bending down to ask [him]87-jp what happened , when [an old man behind [JP]87-jp]835-an old man behind jp stands shakily from [his]87-jp chair . That ’s when [I]0-i see the pushed - out chair in [the walkway]836-the walkway . Oh no , [JP]87-jp must have been struck solid while walking by . With the tip of [his]87-jp black cane , [the old man]837-the old man taps [JP]87-jp on the leg and says , “ Watch where [you]87-jp ’re going , [son]3076-son . ”[837-the old man] With no regard for what [he]87-jp caused , or even a hint of an apology , [the ballsy old man]838-the ballsy old man hobbles away , muttering something about [people]2736-people getting in [his]87-jp way . [A waiter]730-a waiter quickly helps [JP]87-jp to [his]87-jp feet , lifting [him]87-jp under [his]87-jp arms . [A few of [the men who were just shaking [his]87-jp hand]842-the men who were just shaking his hand come to ask if [he]87-jp ’s all right , but all [I]0-i can focus on is the way [JP]87-jp is staring at [me]0-i as if [I]0-i ’m [the one who knocked [him]87-jp out with a chair]843-the one who knocked him out with a chair]841-a few of the men who were just shaking his hand come to ask if he ’s all right , but all i can focus on is the way jp is staring at me as if i ’m the one who knocked him out with a chair . [I]87-jp ’m good , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , dusting off [his]87-jp suit . “ Are [you]87-jp sure ? ”[844-one of the waiters] [one of [the waiters]845-the waiters]844-one of the waiters asks . [I]844-one of the waiters can get [you]87-jp some ice . ”[844-one of the waiters] “ Not necessary . [I]846-the waiter think the only thing bruised here is [my]846-the waiter pride . Was n’t expecting [a seventy - year - old man]3077-a seventy - year - old man to take [me]846-the waiter out like that . ”[846-the waiter] Another snort . Another glare from [him]87-jp . [I]87-jp ’ll be good . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes off [the waiter]846-the waiter and closes the space between [us]847-our once again , takes [my]0-i hand in [his]87-jp , and leads [me]0-i to [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor . [I]0-i ’m still chuckling when [he]87-jp pulls [me]0-i close to [his]87-jp body , [his]87-jp hand on [my]0-i lower back , [his]87-jp other holding [our]847-our palms closely together . With [his]87-jp mouth right next to [my]0-i ear , [he]87-jp asks , “ Did [you]0-i find that entertaining ? ”[87-jp] “ Very much so , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer as [he]87-jp pulls [me]0-i in tighter . [My]0-i chest is pressed against [his]87-jp , [our]847-our legs tangling , and [I]0-i honestly ca n’t tell where [I]0-i begin and [he]87-jp ends . [Our]847-our bodies fuse together , like magnets , drawing in , pulling , with no release . It ’s unexpected . It ’s damning . It ’s not a position [I]0-i want to be in with [JP]87-jp , but it does n’t seem like one [I]0-i can get out of . “ So , [me]87-jp getting hurt and humiliated in front of [the masses]3078-the masses , that ’s comical to [you]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] “ A little slapstick humor never hurt [anyone]377-anyone . But it was n’t what happened to [you]0-i , it was [your]0-i reaction . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh softly as [he]87-jp moves [me]0-i around [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor . [We]847-our ’re slowly swaying to the music , an instrumental version of [Taylor Swift]157-taylor ’s Wildest Dreams , but the way [he]87-jp ’s twirling [me]0-i makes [the room]345-the room a blur , and [I]0-i ca n’t focus on anything but [us]847-our and only [us]847-our . The stillness in [his]87-jp breath as [we]847-our float over [the parquet floor]851-the parquet floor . The tight grip [he]87-jp has on [my]0-i hand , guiding [me]0-i to [our]847-our next move . The gentle whisper of [his]87-jp words over [my]0-i ear as [he]87-jp speaks just low enough to keep [our]847-our conversation private . “ And what about [my]87-jp reaction made [you]0-i chuckle ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp releases [me]0-i , twirls [me]0-i out so [my]0-i dress floats against the whoosh of wind , then yanks [me]0-i back close to [his]87-jp chest . [My]0-i breath catches in [my]0-i lungs and [my]0-i eyes widen from the elegant dance move [I]0-i was n’t expecting . When [I]0-i do n’t answer right away , [he]87-jp lowers [his]87-jp lips closer to [my]0-i ear and says , [I]87-jp ’m waiting , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] Waiting . [He]87-jp ’s waiting for . . . oh , an answer to [his]87-jp question . What ’s happening to [me]0-i ? One spin around [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor and [I]0-i ca n’t seem to keep [my]0-i mind straight . [My]0-i brain feels foggy , disrupted , disoriented . [His]87-jp warm palm slides to the spot just above the curve of [my]0-i ass and all [I]0-i can think about is . . . are [people]2736-people watching ? Do [they]2736-people think [we]854-we ’re [a couple]700-a couple ? Is [he]87-jp going to lower [his]87-jp hand any farther ? [I]0-i wet [my]0-i lips and focus on the conversation . “ Correct [me]0-i if [I]0-i ’m wrong , but golly goodness does n’t seem like something that would ever come out of [your]0-i mouth . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’d be correct about that , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers , and then , to [my]0-i utter surprise , [he]87-jp braces [himself]87-jp and dips [me]0-i . [My]0-i startled gasp makes [him]87-jp smile as [he]87-jp lifts [me]0-i back up . “ What did [you]0-i expect [me]87-jp to say , though ? [That old fucking bastard]3080-that old fucking bastard just [Tonya Harding]158-tonya harding - ed [my]87-jp ass , nearly cutting [my]87-jp dick off with the edge of [his]3080-that old fucking bastard chair . [I]87-jp did n’t think [motherfucker]3081-motherfucker was appropriate for the setting . ”[87-jp] The music slows , and so do [we]856-we . It almost feels as though [he]87-jp created [his]87-jp own dance to this song , and [he]87-jp led [me]0-i through it with precision and grace , something [I]0-i did n’t think [he]87-jp had in [him]87-jp . “ Well , it was funny , is all , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , [my]0-i ability to come up with a witty response completely gone as [his]87-jp hand slides up [my]0-i spine . The music switches to another slow - paced song , and when [I]0-i think [our]856-we dance is over , [he]87-jp does n’t let go . Instead , [he]87-jp continues to move [us]856-we around as [two cellists]857-two cellists take [centerstage]858-centerstage and play With or Without [You]859-you . It ’s beautiful , the deep glide of the strings weaving through [the gold room]860-the gold room as the chandeliers dim , setting more of a romantic mood . [I]0-i ’ve been so irritated by [Edwin]142-edwin and [Genesis]144-genesis that [I]0-i ’ve completely neglected the romance of the night — not that there ’s any romance between [me]0-i and [JP]87-jp , but the ambiance offers a stunning setting for a first kiss . “ What are [you]87-jp thinking about ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks . [I]87-jp can practically see the wheels in [your]87-jp head turning . ”[87-jp] [The ballroom]763-the ballroom is beautiful . [I]144-genesis ’m finally taking a moment to appreciate it . ”[144-genesis] “ It is , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says softly . “ The food , [the décor]3083-the décor , [the band]3084-the band . It ’s the same every year , and even though it benefits [the children]3085-the children , [I]87-jp know [a lot of [couples]3087-couples]3086-a lot of couples come to this event just for the experience . ”[87-jp] [I]144-genesis can see why . It ’s all so whimsical . ”[144-genesis] “ Is this what [you]87-jp envisioned the night being like ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head gently . “ No , [I]0-i did n’t envision being ditched by [[my]0-i date]2822-my date , then finishing the night dancing with [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] [I]861-he meant with the décor , the feeling , the mood . [I]861-he know being here , in [my]861-he arms , with [the one person who repulses [you]0-i the most]3089-the one person who repulses you the most was n’t at the forefront of [your]0-i mind . ”[861-he] The way [he]861-he said that , the dejection in [his]861-he tone , actually makes [me]0-i feel bad . [He]861-he might annoy [me]0-i and [he]861-he might irritate [me]0-i , now more than ever , but if [I]0-i strip away [his]861-he defense mechanism of acting like [an ass]2815-an ass , [I]0-i know there ’s [a good man under that sarcastic wit]863-a good man under that sarcastic wit . [You]861-he . . . [you]861-he do n’t repulse [me]863-a good man under that sarcastic wit , [JP]87-jp . ”[863-a good man under that sarcastic wit] “ Not looking for a pity comment , just looking for an answer to [my]861-he question . ”[861-he] But [he]861-he does n’t repulse [me]0-i . [He]861-he might not be [[my]0-i favorite person]864-my favorite person , but repulse ? [I]0-i mean , if [he]861-he repulsed [me]0-i , there ’s no way [I]0-i ’d allow [him]861-he to hold [me]0-i as close as [he]861-he is . [I]0-i would n’t be getting lost in [his]861-he delectable scent , a scent that [I]0-i know will cling to [me]0-i for the rest of the night . But [he]861-he ’s [a prideful man]865-a prideful man , and [I]0-i know [he]861-he ’s not one — in a serious moment — to fish for compliments . [I]861-he did n’t know what to expect about the event . [I]861-he figured it had to be nice for such a steep price . But this , the almost Great Gatsby feel , this is what movies are made of . ”[861-he] “ None of the donations go to the actual event . This event is put on by a society who chips in [their]3090-their own money . It ’s another reason why [we]3091-we love it so much . It ’s a true fundraiser . Very little business occurs here . ”[861-he] “ Is that why [you]861-he brought a date ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , truly curious about [him]861-he and [Genesis]144-genesis . Not that [I]0-i ’m [the expert on [JP Cane]87-jp]866-the expert on jp cane , but [he]861-he just does n’t seem like the dating type to [me]0-i . [He]861-he seems more like [the guy who ’s in and out of bedrooms every other night]867-the guy who ’s in and out of bedrooms every other night . [The guy that never settles down , flirts shamelessly , and has no need for [a companion other than [himself]861-he]869-a companion other than himself]868-the guy that never settles down , flirts shamelessly , and has no need for a companion other than himself . [Genesis]144-genesis and [I]87-jp met a few weeks ago . [She]144-genesis ’s smart , [someone who can hold an intelligent conversation]3092-someone who can hold an intelligent conversation , and when [we]3091-we went out , [I]87-jp had a good time . [I]87-jp thought this would be a good place to take [her]144-genesis , let [her]144-genesis mingle with [some people]3093-some people , make connections . Did n’t expect [her]144-genesis to mingle with [[your]0-i date]2772-your date , though . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah , [me]0-i neither , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say softly . [JP]87-jp pulls away just enough that [our]870-us eyes meet , [his]87-jp light green ones to [my]0-i hazel . “ Listen , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [he]87-jp ’s — ”[87-jp] “ Excuse [us]870-us . Sorry to interrupt , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says as [he]142-edwin walks up to [us]870-us , [Genesis]144-genesis at [his]142-edwin side . [I]142-edwin hope it ’s okay , but [I]142-edwin think [we]870-us ’re going to head out . ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin thumbs to the door behind [him]142-edwin . [Genesis]144-genesis has a headache and [I]142-edwin figured [I]142-edwin ’d take [her]144-genesis [home]2941-home . ”[142-edwin] [My]0-i stomach drops . [He]142-edwin ’s leaving the party with [someone else]2834-someone else ? Sure , the sting of seeing [him]142-edwin talk to [someone else the entire night]872-someone else the entire night was a direct hit to the ego . Watching [him]142-edwin dance with [someone else]2834-someone else was drink - worthy . But seeing [him]142-edwin leave . . . [JP]87-jp ’s arm stiffens around [me]0-i as [he]87-jp says , “ Sure thing , thanks , [man]3096-man . ”[87-jp] [You]144-genesis do n’t mind ? ”[144-genesis] [Genesis]144-genesis asks . [I]0-i ca n’t even look at [them]874-them , because from the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i can see [Edwin]142-edwin ’s hand laced with [Genesis]144-genesis ’s . “ Not at all , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp answers , [his]87-jp voice even . “ Okay , well . . . thanks for a good night , ”[142-edwin] [Edwin]142-edwin says before patting [me]0-i on the shoulder and taking off . That ’s all [I]0-i get . A pat on the shoulder . [I]0-i expected this night to go so differently . [I]0-i thought that maybe [Edwin]142-edwin and [I]0-i could get to know [each other]333-each other a little more , become more comfortable with [one another]876-one another , maybe kiss again . But [he]142-edwin ’s taking [another woman]877-another woman [home]2941-home . And that ’s an absolute gut punch . [My]0-i feet stop moving , and [my]0-i grip loosens on [JP]87-jp . [Head]159-head held high , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp whispers as [he]87-jp spins [me]0-i around . “ Do n’t let [him]87-jp see [you]0-i upset . ”[87-jp] “ But [I]87-jp am . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp ’s mouth is now touching [my]0-i ear as [he]87-jp speaks softly . “ But give [them]3097-them a few more minutes and then [I]87-jp ’ll get [you]0-i out of here . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i lip trembles and [I]0-i can feel [my]0-i eyes start to well , and just when [I]0-i think a tear is going to fall , [JP]87-jp grips [my]0-i hand tighter , spins [me]0-i out and smirks at [me]0-i , before pulling [me]0-i back in . It ’s just enough to forget for a moment that , once again , romance is n’t in the cards for [me]0-i .

* * *

“ Good evening , [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , ”[653-the driver] [the driver]653-the driver says as [he]653-the driver opens the back door for [us]880-we . After [Edwin]142-edwin and [Genesis]144-genesis took off , [we]880-we spent another five minutes on [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor before [JP]87-jp escorted [me]0-i toward the back of [the ballroom]763-the ballroom and sent a quick text . [He]87-jp then led [me]0-i to [the bar]2773-the bar , where [he]87-jp handed [me]0-i a heavy glass of wine and said [we]880-we were n’t leaving until [I]0-i finished it . It took [me]0-i no more than a minute . With a wine belly and heavy heart , [we]880-we made [our]880-we way to the front of [the mansion]884-the mansion where [[JP]87-jp ’s driver]885-jp ’s driver just happened to be waiting . [I]0-i ’m not sure if [Huxley]90-huxley set it up that way or if [[JP]87-jp ’s driver]885-jp ’s driver can drive at lightning speed , but [I]0-i did n’t have to hang around the event for longer than [I]0-i needed to . [JP]87-jp helps [me]0-i into [the car]887-the car and then slides in beside [me]0-i . [We]880-we both buckle up , and when [the driver]653-the driver sits in [his]653-the driver seat , [JP]87-jp says , [[My]87-jp house]2843-my house . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i do n’t have it in [me]0-i to discuss the details , to consider if [JP]87-jp has any idea what ’s going to happen tonight , so [I]0-i lean [my]0-i head to the side and look out the window . The dark , starry sky looms over [us]880-we as [we]880-we drive through rows and rows of [impressive houses]889-impressive houses . And with [every gated home that [we]880-we pass]890-every gated home that we pass , [I]0-i ca n’t help but wonder if [the people who live inside that home]891-the people who live inside that home are actually in love , or if [they]891-the people who live inside that home live in a world where ditching a date for [someone else]2834-someone else is the norm . [God]92-god , [I]0-i expected so much more from [Edwin]142-edwin , [the bird - loving prick]893-the bird - loving prick . [He]142-edwin was so . . . nice . A bit of [a nerd]894-a nerd , but definitely someone [I]0-i thought [I]0-i could trust . Sure , [we]880-we only went out for a few weeks , but [I]0-i feel like [I]0-i ’m [a good judge of character]895-a good judge of character . But [Edwin]142-edwin ’s actions reflected something [I]0-i ’d almost expect [JP]87-jp to do . And yet , [JP]87-jp was the one who made sure [I]0-i did n’t look foolish , [the one who carried [me]0-i around the dance floor]896-the one who carried me around the dance floor , and [the one who made [me]0-i forget , even if it was momentarily]897-the one who made me forget , even if it was momentarily . There seems to be some good in [him]87-jp , after all . [He]87-jp ’s [an idiot]3099-an idiot , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says as [the car]887-the car makes a right - hand turn and [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s house]899-huxley ’s house comes into view . “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . And instead of turning right into [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s circular driveway]900-huxley ’s circular driveway , [we]901-we turn left , to a large , looming gate that opens as [we]901-we approach . [JP]87-jp is silent for a moment , and when [the car]887-the car is parked , [he]87-jp holds [his]87-jp hand up to [the driver]653-the driver and opens the door [himself]87-jp . Once outside of [the car]887-the car , [he]87-jp dips back in and holds [his]87-jp hand out to [me]0-i . Disoriented , [I]0-i take it and [he]87-jp helps [me]0-i out of [the car]887-the car . The moment [he]87-jp shuts it , [the driver]653-the driver takes off , leaving [me]0-i alone under the stars with [JP]87-jp . Together , [my]0-i hand still in [his]87-jp , [we]907-we stand in [the driveway]908-the driveway , the darkness of the night enveloping [us]907-we . [Edwin]142-edwin , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . [He]142-edwin ’s [an idiot]3099-an idiot . ”[87-jp] [He]142-edwin ’s not [an idiot]3099-an idiot , [he]142-edwin was just — ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp lifts [my]0-i chin , forcing [me]0-i to look [him]87-jp in the eyes . This time when [he]87-jp speaks , it ’s more authoritative . [He]142-edwin ’s [an idiot]3099-an idiot , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Do [you]89-kelsey know how [I]87-jp know [he]142-edwin ’s [an idiot]3099-an idiot ? ”[87-jp] From the sincere look in [his]87-jp eyes and the firm grip [he]87-jp has on [my]0-i chin , [I]0-i ’m rendered speechless . [I]0-i feel captured , captivated , and looped into this unexpected whirlwind of a night with [JP]87-jp . And [I]0-i do n’t know how to handle it . [JP]87-jp takes a step closer and says , [Edwin]142-edwin is [an idiot]3099-an idiot because [he]142-edwin did n’t appreciate something other than the color of [your]89-kelsey dress . What [he]142-edwin should ’ve said the moment [he]142-edwin saw [you]89-kelsey was how fucking breathtaking [you]89-kelsey look , how the yellow in [your]89-kelsey dress makes the gold in [your]89-kelsey eyes sparkle even brighter . [He]142-edwin should ’ve lifted [your]89-kelsey hand and pressed the lightest of kisses to [your]89-kelsey knuckles , just so [he]142-edwin could claim [you]89-kelsey in front of [everyone around [him]142-edwin]3105-everyone around him . [His]142-edwin eyes never should have strayed from [yours]89-kelsey . And when [he]142-edwin lowered [your]89-kelsey hand , [he]142-edwin should ’ve taken one more step closer to [you]89-kelsey , leaned inches from [your]89-kelsey ear , and said how intoxicatingly beautiful [you]89-kelsey smelled . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i lungs have seized . [My]0-i legs have melted , like ice cream on a scalding day . And [my]0-i hand laced with [JP]87-jp ’s trembles in [his]87-jp grasp . What . . . what ’s [he]87-jp doing ? Why is [he]87-jp saying these things ? What ’s [his]87-jp end goal ? [The romantic in [me]0-i]909-the romantic in me would love to believe [he]87-jp means what [he]87-jp just said . That [he]87-jp thinks those things about [me]0-i . But sadly , [I]0-i suspect there ’s only one end goal when it comes to [JP]87-jp and [a girl]356-a girl , late at night , standing outside [[his]87-jp house]911-his house . [I]0-i ’m confident [I]0-i know what [he]87-jp expects . And [I]0-i ’m not blind . [I]0-i can understand the appeal . [He]87-jp ’s [an extremely handsome man]912-an extremely handsome man , after all . [He]87-jp can pull [you]913-you in with one look , one flash of [his]87-jp rakish eyes . [You]913-you can feel [his]87-jp gaze . Just like [I]0-i can feel it now . The flash of [his]87-jp eyes to [my]0-i lips . The dip of [his]87-jp tongue over [his]87-jp lips , wetting them . Preparing . The step [he]87-jp makes to close the space between [us]914-us one more time . It ’s all there , the signs . And [I]0-i might be sad . [I]0-i might feel distraught , but [I]0-i know one thing — a night in [JP Cane]87-jp ’s bed is not going to help matters . So , [I]0-i release [his]87-jp hand and take a step back . [JP]87-jp , [I]0-i ’m not going to sleep with [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] The words fly out of [my]0-i mouth in a flurry , making it clear where [I]0-i stand . [His]87-jp compliments , [his]87-jp kindness , are n’t going to factor into [my]0-i decision . And when [I]0-i look [him]87-jp in the eyes , to hold strong , [I]0-i ’m not met with [his]87-jp usual smirk or flirtatious expression , but rather a scowl . [His]87-jp dark , thick brows are pulled together , the softness has morphed into a stern , almost insulted gaze . [His]87-jp lips twist to the side in a mock snarl and when [I]0-i think [he]87-jp ’s going to say something , [his]87-jp hand drives through [his]87-jp thick hair as [he]87-jp turns away . “ Yeah , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says on a huff , [his]87-jp back turned toward [me]0-i . “ Let ’s get [you]0-i back to [[your]0-i car]3106-your car . ”[87-jp] One hand still in [his]87-jp hair , [he]87-jp walks toward the gate of [[his]87-jp driveway]915-his driveway , not even bothering to wait for [me]0-i . [I]0-i hurry behind [him]87-jp as [he]87-jp opens an undetected single - person gate hidden in the bushes . [He]87-jp holds it open for [me]0-i , and right before [I]0-i walk through [it]916-it , [I]0-i stop and stare up at [him]87-jp . [You]87-jp ca n’t be mad at [me]0-i for not wanting to sleep with [you]87-jp , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp stares up at the sky as [he]87-jp lets out a heavy breath . “ Just walk through the gate , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] Irritation is steaming off [him]87-jp and even though [I]0-i have this need to push [him]87-jp , to make [him]87-jp understand [my]0-i reasoning , [I]0-i can see that ’s only going to make [him]87-jp madder . Keeping [my]0-i composure , [I]0-i walk past [him]87-jp , through the gate , and then together , [we]917-we walk across [the street]3003-the street to [Huxley]90-huxley and [[Lottie]89-kelsey ’s house]919-lottie ’s house , where once again , [JP]87-jp opens a gate for [me]0-i and takes [me]0-i right to [[my]0-i car]595-my car . “ Do [you]0-i have [your]0-i keys ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . [I]0-i hold up [my]0-i small clutch . “ In here . ”[0-i] “ Good . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp steps back and sticks both hands in [his]87-jp pockets . [He]87-jp does n’t say another word , and [I]0-i ca n’t help but feel that [I]0-i did something wrong . [He]87-jp was gallant and kind , which [I]0-i truly appreciate , but it should be okay for [me]0-i to use words — not [my]0-i body — to thank [him]87-jp . [JP]87-jp — ”[0-i] “ Have a good night , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes another step back and [I]0-i realize [he]87-jp ’s not going to leave until [I]0-i get in [[my]0-i car]595-my car and start it , another gentlemanly act that [I]0-i did n’t expect from [him]87-jp . This entire night has been incredibly unexpected and [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i ’m capable of sifting through it all in [my]0-i head , not when [I]0-i ’m exhausted and mentally spent . Thankfully , [I]0-i really only had that one glass of wine , so [I]0-i ’m good to drive . [I]0-i unlock [[my]0-i car]595-my car and get in . [I]0-i consider saying something to [JP]87-jp . Thank [you]87-jp , maybe , but when [I]0-i turn to roll down [my]0-i window , [he]87-jp ’s already walking across [the street]3003-the street to [[his]87-jp house]911-his house . Well , [I]0-i guess that ’s that . With a heavy heart , [I]0-i start [[my]0-i car]595-my car and drive back to [[my]0-i small studio apartment]926-my small studio apartment .

* * *

Meant to Be Podcast [Rath and Charlee Kelsey]161-kelsey : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]161-kelsey talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Rath]161-kelsey and [Charlee]161-kelsey , thank [you]87-jp so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , tell [us]161-kelsey how [you]87-jp met . [Charlee]161-kelsey : First , can [I]0-i say how much [I]0-i love this podcast ? [I]0-i ca n’t believe [you]87-jp are actually having [us]161-kelsey on the show . Gah , [I]0-i listen to it every week . [Rath]161-kelsey thinks [I]0-i ’m [a lunatic]929-a lunatic , of course , when [I]0-i gush over [every couple]930-every couple , but [he]0-i ’s also one of the biggest grumps [you]931-you could imagine . [I]0-i had to bribe [him]0-i with sexual favors to get [him]0-i [here]2716-here . [Rath]161-kelsey : [Charlee]161-kelsey , filter . [Charlee]161-kelsey : [He]0-i ’s really worried that [I]0-i ’m going to say something that embarrasses [him]0-i , which , sure , is probably the truth because [I]0-i do n’t know when to stop talking . Ask [me]0-i a question and [I]0-i just let loose . But , yeah , [I]0-i told [him]0-i [I]0-i would do some favors under [his]0-i desk while at work — [Rath]161-kelsey : For the love of [Christ]148-jesus christ , [Charlee]161-kelsey . [Kelsey]161-kelsey : Oh , please , tell [me]0-i more about these favors . [Charlee]161-kelsey : Well , [he]0-i really likes it when [you]161-kelsey tickle — [Rath]161-kelsey : [We]933-we bumped into each other at an office supply convention . [I]0-i needed [an assistant]934-an assistant . [She]934-an assistant drove [me]0-i insane with [her]934-an assistant incessant jabbering . Somehow , [I]0-i fell in love , [we]933-we got married , end of story . [Charlee]161-kelsey : Is n’t [he]0-i just so charming ?

Chapter Eight

JP

Two weeks later . . .

“ Hey . ”[161-kelsey] There ’s a knock at [my]0-i door . [I]0-i lift [my]0-i head to see [Huxley]90-huxley poke [his]0-i head in . [Conference room]3107-conference room in ten . ”[90-huxley] “ Got the eleven fucking memos [you]90-huxley sent already . [I]0-i ’ll be there . ”[0-i] “ Just making sure . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m [a grown - ass man]3108-a grown - ass man , [Hux]141-hux . [I]0-i know how to schedule [my]0-i damn day . ”[0-i] [I]0-i turn back to [my]0-i computer and click through the annoying emails [I]0-i ’ve put off answering all morning . When [my]0-i door shuts , [I]0-i heave a sigh of relief , that ’s until [I]0-i realize [Huxley]90-huxley never left , but rather let [himself]90-huxley into [[my]0-i office]561-my office . [He]0-i occupies a seat across from [me]0-i and crosses one leg over the other . “ Mind telling [me]0-i why [you]0-i ’ve been [such a bastard]3109-such a bastard lately ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [my]0-i fingers into [my]0-i brow , attempting to massage the impending migraine away . “ How about [you]0-i go back to [[your]0-i office]570-your office and leave [me]0-i the hell alone ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i see , [I]0-i would do that , but [we]3111-we have a meeting in ten minutes and [I]0-i ca n’t have [you]0-i acting like [a dick]786-a dick in [there]2954-there . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes snap up to [his]0-i . “ When have [I]0-i ever been [a dick]786-a dick to [people]2736-people in [the conference room]370-the conference room ? ”[0-i] “ Uh , all fucking week . Not to mention , [you]0-i ’ve been stomping around here with a chip on [your]0-i shoulder . [Everyone]2734-everyone ’s aware of [your]0-i mood and there have been rumblings that [people]2736-people are uncomfortable . ”[0-i] “ Oh , well , [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , [I]0-i should just slap on a happy face , then , should n’t [I]0-i ? [I]0-i would n’t want to cause a stir in [the office]548-the office . Heaven forbid [someone]364-someone should have some fucking feelings in [this place]2765-this place . ”[0-i] [Dude]2754-dude , ”[141-hux] [Hux]141-hux says , sitting taller in [his]0-i chair now . “ What the hell is going on ? [You]2754-dude ’ve been like this ever since the fundraiser . Is this about [Genesis]144-genesis ? ”[141-hux] Of course , [he]0-i ’d go [there]2954-there because [I]0-i have n’t spoken a goddamn word to [anyone]377-anyone about that night . Neither [Huxley]90-huxley nor [Breaker]97-breaker saw how [the old man]837-the old man took [me]0-i out . Neither saw how [I]0-i danced with [Kelsey]161-kelsey and held [her]161-kelsey so close to [me]0-i that , and how , for the first time since [I]0-i met [her]161-kelsey , [I]0-i felt something click inside [my]0-i head , that where [I]0-i was , what [I]0-i was doing , was actually right . [I]0-i did n’t say anything , because the night did n’t end the way [I]0-i wanted it to . There was no intention of taking [her]161-kelsey inside [[my]0-i house]2843-my house . There was n’t even a thought of taking [her]161-kelsey to [[my]0-i bedroom]940-my bedroom . [My]0-i only purpose at the end of the night was to make sure [she]161-kelsey understood how fucking beautiful [she]161-kelsey was . How [I]0-i had n’t been able to take [my]0-i eyes off [her]161-kelsey and could n’t fathom how stupid [[her]161-kelsey date]749-her date had been in leaving [her]161-kelsey , missing [his]749-her date one chance at having [her]161-kelsey . [I]0-i wanted [her]161-kelsey to know that , in [my]0-i eyes , [her]161-kelsey smile had outshone all the radiance of [the room]345-the room , and that [she]161-kelsey was easily [the most captivating woman in [there]2954-there]943-the most captivating woman in there . [I]0-i did n’t want [her]161-kelsey to leave thinking [she]161-kelsey was n’t valued , that [she]161-kelsey was disposable . [I]0-i meant what [I]0-i said , [Edwin]142-edwin was [an idiot]3099-an idiot . [An absolute fool]946-an absolute fool . [Genesis]144-genesis is beautiful and smart . But [she]144-genesis has nothing , and [I]0-i mean absolutely nothing , on [Kelsey]161-kelsey . And [I]0-i wanted to show [Kelsey]161-kelsey that . But , [Kelsey]161-kelsey did n’t take it that way . No , [she]161-kelsey saw [me]0-i as [a man]2703-a man acting kind to have a chance at lifting [her]161-kelsey skirt . [She]161-kelsey saw [me]0-i as nothing but [a man with an agenda that involved the bedroom]948-a man with an agenda that involved the bedroom . [She]161-kelsey could not have been more wrong . [Insult]162-insult eclipsed [me]0-i . [I]0-i shut down . And there was no coming back from it . [I]0-i ’ve been [a bastard]949-a bastard ever since . When [I]0-i ’ve seen [her]161-kelsey in [the office]548-the office , [I]0-i ’ve avoided [her]161-kelsey . All correspondence has been through email , and [I]0-i ’ve canceled two meetings with [her]161-kelsey so far , blaming some media bullshit that [I]0-i made up . “ Yeah , sure , this is about [Genesis]144-genesis , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [Huxley]90-huxley studies [me]0-i and is about to say something when [Breaker]97-breaker comes into [the office]548-the office and says , “ There [you]0-i are . [Hux]141-hux , [I]97-breaker need [your]0-i signature on a few things before the meeting . ”[97-breaker] Eyes on [me]0-i , [Huxley]90-huxley stands and says , “ This is n’t over . ”[90-huxley] The fuck it ’s not . In [my]0-i eyes , this conversation is dead at this point . [I]0-i wave [him]97-breaker away and when the door shuts , [I]0-i let out a heavy breath and push back from [my]0-i desk . [I]0-i turn toward [my]0-i window and lean back , staring out over the lines of palm trees along [the streets]952-the streets . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever been in this kind of funk , one that has taken over just about every aspect of [my]0-i life . [Sleep]163-sleep evades [me]0-i . Working out has become more of an escape for frustration rather than enjoyment . And [my]0-i nights out with [friends]2684-friends have turned into nights in , vibrating with anger as [I]0-i pace [[my]0-i house]2843-my house , only to end up in [[my]0-i workout room]955-my workout room , where [I]0-i slip on a pair of boxing gloves and repeatedly punch [my]0-i bag until [my]0-i knuckles ca n’t take the abuse anymore . Just . . . fuck , how could [she]956-she think that all [I]0-i wanted was to fuck [her]956-she ? Am [I]0-i really that much of [an asshole]2819-an asshole that [she]956-she ’d confuse [my]0-i intention with a bargain ? [My]0-i kindness , [my]0-i compliments , in exchange for the spread of [her]956-she legs ? [I]0-i can be [a dick]786-a dick . [A prick]959-a prick . [An absolute asshole]960-an absolute asshole . But [I]0-i ’m not [that man]961-that man , the one who takes advantage of [a woman who ’s clearly not in the right headspace]962-a woman who ’s clearly not in the right headspace . [I]0-i stand from [my]0-i chair , pull [my]0-i suit jacket back on , and stick [my]0-i phone in [my]0-i pocket before heading out of [[my]0-i office]561-my office door . On the way to [the conference room]370-the conference room , [I]0-i pop into [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen and grab a can of water — [we]966-we just started carrying water in aluminum cans , thanks to fucking [Kelsey]161-kelsey and [her]161-kelsey sustainability initiatives — and then head into [the conference room]370-the conference room . [I]0-i take a seat on the left - hand side . Just as [I]0-i pop open the can , one of the chairs to the right of [me]0-i swivels around and , lo and behold , [Kelsey]161-kelsey ’s face comes into view . Fuck . . . [JP]87-jp , ”[161-kelsey] [she]161-kelsey says with a smile that barely reaches [her]161-kelsey eyes . [I]0-i can tell a polite smile from a genuine one , and this screams [I]0-i ’m smiling at [you]968-you because [I]0-i have to , not because [I]0-i want to . [I]0-i was n’t aware [you]87-jp were going to be in this meeting . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , well , [Huxley]90-huxley sent [me]0-i eleven messages saying [my]0-i attendance was required . ”[0-i] “ Do [you]87-jp have any idea what it ’s about ? ”[0-i] “ Nope , ”[0-i] [I]0-i snap . “ Oh . . . okay . ”[0-i] [She]161-kelsey fidgets next to [me]0-i and heat crawls up the back of [my]0-i neck . Fuck , [I]0-i can smell [her]161-kelsey sweet , flowery scent that seems to follow [me]0-i everywhere [I]0-i go . [I]0-i do n’t know if it ’s [my]0-i mind playing tricks on [me]0-i , but [I]0-i swear , [I]0-i smell it everywhere [I]0-i go , and it ’s more prevalent than ever right now . “ Did [you]161-kelsey , uh , did [you]161-kelsey see [my]0-i designs for [the Anderson building]3123-the anderson building ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ Did [you]161-kelsey like them ? ”[0-i] “ Seemed like everything else [you]161-kelsey ’ve turned in . Unless [I]0-i ’m mistaken and [you]161-kelsey used something other than bamboo storage . ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t bother to look at [her]161-kelsey , but from the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i can see [her]161-kelsey mouth turn down in a frown . [JP]87-jp , if there ’s something [I]161-kelsey did — ”[161-kelsey] [You]161-kelsey know , [I]0-i have some emails to answer , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , pulling out [my]0-i phone and tapping away on it . Instead of going to [[my]0-i inbox]969-my inbox — because there ’s no way in fuck [I]0-i ’m answering any emails right now — [I]0-i scroll through Twitter , checking out what [all the trolls]970-all the trolls have to say about the Vancouver Agitators and [their]970-all the trolls recent playoff loss . Talk about a weak showing . Not sure [they]970-all the trolls even decided to show up . [I]161-kelsey know [you]0-i ’re ignoring [me]161-kelsey , ”[161-kelsey] [she]161-kelsey says , clearly not getting the hint . Keeping [my]0-i eyes on [my]0-i phone , [I]0-i say , [Kelsey]161-kelsey , [I]0-i have better things to do with [my]0-i life than to ignore [you]161-kelsey . [You]161-kelsey ’re not that important . ”[0-i] [I]0-i can feel the sting of [my]0-i words as they fall off [my]0-i tongue , and yet , [I]0-i do n’t stop them . [I]0-i do n’t even bother to look at how [they]971-they affect [her]161-kelsey . [I]0-i do n’t need to . [I]0-i know [Kelsey]161-kelsey will take offense to such a sentence , and yet , [I]0-i still said it . Yup , really living up to [that bastard persona]972-that bastard persona . Thankfully , [Huxley]90-huxley walks in at that moment , along with [Breaker]97-breaker and [Lottie]89-kelsey . [I]0-i expect maybe [a few other employees]973-a few other employees to join [us]974-we , but when [Huxley]90-huxley shuts the door and takes a seat , [I]0-i realize this is it . [Just [us]974-we five]975-just us five . Not so sure [I]0-i ’m going to like this . [I]0-i swear to fuck if this is some sort of attitude intervention , [I]0-i ’m going to have a Hades - inspired conniption , flames and all . [We]974-we got some news yesterday . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley looks over at [Lottie]89-kelsey and [my]0-i heart sinks . Holy shit , are [they]976-they pregnant ? [I]0-i sit a little taller in [my]0-i chair . Attempt to put on a happy face . “ Are [you]90-huxley pregnant ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . [Huxley]90-huxley ’s eyebrows knit together . “ No , why would [you]90-huxley think that ? ”[90-huxley] “ Uh , the way [you]90-huxley looked at [Lottie]89-kelsey , the fact that it ’s just [family]403-family in [this room]3125-this room , and the inconspicuous meeting invite . ”[90-huxley] All facts . “ Do [you]90-huxley really think [I]90-huxley would use company time to announce something like that ? That would be a private affair , not something [we]974-we ’d do in [the conference room]370-the conference room at work . ”[90-huxley] Huh . . . also facts . “ Plus , there will be no pregnancy for at least another year . [I]89-kelsey need a killer honeymoon and [babies]3127-babies are n’t invited , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey adds . Well , there goes the pregnancy guess . “ Then why are [we]974-we here ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Because , what [I]0-i have to say ca n’t be said outside of these walls . It ’s highly classified , therefore , [we]974-we ’re [the only ones who are allowed to know at the moment]3128-the only ones who are allowed to know at the moment . ”[0-i] “ Just spit it out , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Enough with the dramatics . ”[0-i] [Huxley]90-huxley shoots [me]0-i a withering glare , but luckily for [me]0-i , [I]0-i could n’t care less about [his]977-his menacing scowl . [We]974-we got a call from [William Edison]164-edison , [[our]974-we realtor]3129-our realtor . [We]974-we won the bid for [the historic [Angelica Building]20-angelica building in [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3130-the historic angelica building in san francisco . ”[90-huxley] Oh shit . . . [Kelsey]89-kelsey looks around for answers . “ What ’s [the Angelica Building]20-angelica building ? ”[89-kelsey] [It]20-angelica building ’s [one of [the most prominent apartment buildings in [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3132-the most prominent apartment buildings in san francisco]3131-one of the most prominent apartment buildings in san francisco . Currently completely empty because [it]20-angelica building needs deep renovations . [It]20-angelica building was put up for sale a few months ago , but instead of simply submitting an offer , [we]974-we had to submit with accompanying plans as to how [we]974-we ’d preserve [the building during renovations]3133-the building during renovations , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . [The building]3134-the building is beautiful , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker adds . “ Sits just beyond [the Bay]23-the bay and has panoramic views and some of the most intricate marble work [I]97-breaker ’ve ever seen . ”[97-breaker] “ So why is this a secret ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks . “ Because before the news breaks , [we]974-we want [[our]974-we team]3135-our team to go in , assess , and then draw up plans on how [we]974-we ’re going to proceed . Once the press finds out , it ’ll be very hard to get [our]974-we work done in peace without [restoration groups]3136-restoration groups knocking at [our]974-we door , telling [us]974-we how to do the job . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley presses [his]978-his palm to the table surface . [We]974-we have two weeks before the deal is announced . [I]90-huxley want plans drawn up and contracts made before those two weeks are up . ”[90-huxley] [I]89-kelsey ’m sorry , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says , glancing around [the room]345-the room . “ How does this pertain to [me]89-kelsey ? ”[89-kelsey] [We]974-we want [your]89-kelsey input on sustainability for [the building]3134-the building . [We]974-we ’re already in talks with [a solar panel specialist]3138-a solar panel specialist to see what [our]974-we options are for energy , but when it comes to building materials and organization , [we]974-we want [your]89-kelsey input as well . Which means , [you]89-kelsey ’re going to [San Francisco]21-san francisco tonight to meet with [Edison]164-edison and [the team]3139-the team . ”[90-huxley] “ Oh . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey blinks a few times . “ Okay . Sure , not a problem . ”[89-kelsey] “ And [JP]87-jp will be going with [you]89-kelsey . ”[90-huxley] And there it is . [I]0-i knew that was fucking coming . Even though [I]0-i knew it was coming and [I]0-i know the reasoning behind it , [I]0-i still say , “ Why do [I]0-i need to go ? [I]0-i believe this is something [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Kelsey]89-kelsey can handle [themselves]3140-themselves . [I]0-i ’m not [[her]89-kelsey babysitter]3141-her babysitter . ”[0-i] “ Uh . . . [I]89-kelsey have a bunch of wedding planning meetings scheduled . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey winces . [I]89-kelsey do n’t think [I]89-kelsey can reschedule anything . [I]89-kelsey was n’t aware [I]89-kelsey had to go with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i are n’t required to go , ”[980-his] [Huxley]90-huxley says , keeping [his]980-his eyes on [me]0-i . “ Sustainably Organized falls under [JP]87-jp ’s management , which means [he]980-his ’ll be going . ”[980-his] The steeliness in [his]980-his voice would scare [any other employee]981-any other employee , but it washes right over [me]0-i . [His]980-his intimidation tactics are useless on [me]0-i . [We]982-we stare [each other]333-each other down , the tension growing in [the room]345-the room , and [I]0-i wait for [Breaker]97-breaker to jump in , to say something , but when [the room]345-the room remains silent , [I]0-i know there ’s no help coming [my]0-i way . It ’s pointless . [They]986-they ’re going to gang up on [me]0-i and then [I]0-i ’ll be headed to [San Francisco]21-san francisco with [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [the person [I]0-i most want to avoid]987-the person i most want to avoid . But being [the people pleaser]988-the people pleaser that [she]89-kelsey is , [Kelsey]89-kelsey chimes in and says , “ If [JP]87-jp is busy , [I]89-kelsey can go on [my]89-kelsey own . [I]89-kelsey ’m sure [I]89-kelsey can handle this . ”[89-kelsey] “ The fuck [you]3142-you can , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before [I]0-i can stop [myself]0-i . All eyes fall on [me]0-i , perhaps shocked at [my]0-i obvious anger . Shit , that was harsh . [I]0-i attempt to tone it down . “ There ’s more to it than just walking around [an office]3143-an office . Hate to say it , but [you]0-i ’re not sufficiently educated to handle this on [your]0-i own . This is more like a job for [Huxley]90-huxley , given the logistics of it . ”[0-i] If looks could fucking kill , [I]0-i would be six feet under right now . But all care has left [my]0-i body . [I]0-i ca n’t seem to scrounge up one ounce of giving a fuck . Speaking in a clipped tone , [Huxley]90-huxley says , [I]90-huxley have to be at the wedding planning meetings with [Lottie]89-kelsey . ”[90-huxley] [You]0-i ’ve had no problem flying back and forth before . ”[97-breaker] “ What do [you]0-i not understand about this being [your]0-i responsibility ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . [I]0-i never asked for this responsibility , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say and then motion to [Breaker]97-breaker . “ Why does n’t [he]97-breaker go ? ”[97-breaker] With a confused look on [his]97-breaker face , [Breaker]97-breaker tilts [his]97-breaker head and asks , “ Why the hell would [I]97-breaker go when [Kelsey]89-kelsey works with [you]0-i ? [I]97-breaker have no fucking clue what [[you]0-i guys]2996-you guys are doing over there with [the buildings]3145-the buildings and all the environmental changes happening in [this office]3146-this office . All [I]97-breaker know is that [my]97-breaker water comes in an aluminum can now and [I]97-breaker like it . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker leans close and asks , [Dude]2754-dude , what the fuck is going on ? [You]2754-dude love [San Francisco]21-san francisco , and this is [your]2754-dude job , so why do n’t [you]2754-dude want to go ? ”[97-breaker] Great question . Ca n’t tell [him]97-breaker the real reason . This conversation is already humiliating enough , and [I]0-i do n’t need to add to that humiliation . Nope , [I]0-i need to come up with an excuse . Something good . Something that will require [my]0-i attention in [Los Angeles]24-los angeles . [I]0-i ca n’t go , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , as if it ’s the most preposterous suggestion . [I]0-i have . . . things to do . Important things . ”[0-i] Christ , that ’s not exactly what [I]0-i was hoping to say , but then again , kind of drawing a blank here . [I]0-i have no things . [I]0-i basically sit on [my]0-i ass waiting for [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers to tell [me]0-i what to do because that ’s how much [I]0-i despise this job . “ Things that ca n’t be rescheduled . ”[0-i] “ What kind of things ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks skeptically . [He]97-breaker ’s onto [me]0-i . “ Important things , ”[0-i] [I]0-i repeat . “ But what kind of important things ? Give [us]3148-us an example . ”[0-i] Huh . . . Umm . . . * Mentally taps chin * What could be so important in [my]0-i otherwise boring life that could prevent [me]0-i from flying up to [San Francisco]21-san francisco with [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? Nothing . Absolutely fucking nothing . But that does n’t prevent [me]0-i from continuing the farce . “ Appointments , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . Vagueness is the way to go . “ The kind of appointments [I]0-i do n’t care to discuss in front of [the ladies]3046-the ladies . ”[0-i] There . That should work . [Man troubles]990-man troubles . It ’s written in bro - code that when [a man]2703-a man says [he]2703-a man has an appointment [he]2703-a man does n’t want to discuss in front of [the ladies]3046-the ladies , that it should be kept hush - hush and talked about later when feminine ears are n’t around . “ An appointment [you]0-i do n’t want to talk about in front of [the ladies]3046-the ladies ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Like . . . are [you]0-i having [man troubles]990-man troubles , [dude]2754-dude ? ”[97-breaker] God , [I]0-i hate [him]2703-a man . Now what the fuck do [I]0-i say ? If [I]0-i confirm [I]0-i might be having [man troubles]990-man troubles , [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [Lottie]89-kelsey will ASSUME [I]0-i have man troubles , and there ’s nothing troubling about [my]0-i manhood . Everything is in healthy , working order . But if [I]0-i say no , then that exposes [me]0-i and [I]0-i ’ll have to go to [San Francisco]21-san francisco . So . . . pride or giving in ? Save [my]0-i self - image or spend two weeks in agony with [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? Fuck . . . this is a hard — Pinning [me]0-i with a stare , [Huxley]90-huxley says , “ Tell [me]90-huxley right now something is wrong with [your]0-i dick or [you]0-i ’re going to [San Francisco]21-san francisco . ”[90-huxley] Shit . Nothing is wrong with [my]0-i dick . [I]0-i do n’t want [anyone]377-anyone thinking there ’s something wrong with [my]0-i dick because , yes , [I]0-i ’m shallow , thank [you]995-you very much . And [Huxley]90-huxley fucking knows it . “ That ’s what [I]90-huxley thought . [You]0-i ’re going . ”[90-huxley] Fuck . So much for being able to think on [my]0-i goddamn feet . [You]0-i leave tonight . [I]90-huxley had [Karla]165-karla call ahead to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . [It]3153-the penthouse ’s already been cleaned and stocked with food . ”[90-huxley] [The penthouse]3153-the penthouse ? No fucking way . Okay , sure , [I]0-i have to go to [San Francisco]21-san francisco , but [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse ? Has [he]998-he lost [his]998-he goddamn mind ? “ Do [you]0-i really think [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse is necessary ? [A simple hotel room]3155-a simple hotel room will do , do n’t [you]0-i think ? ”[998-he] “ What ’s [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks . [Housing [the company]3158-the company owns]3157-housing the company owns , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley answers . “ And , yes , [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse is necessary . [You]0-i will be much more comfortable [there]2954-there . [We]3161-we ’ve already set up a car service , and [Karla]165-karla is working on scheduling meetings with [[our]3161-we architect]3162-our architect and [contractors]3163-contractors . If [we]3161-we ’re sending [you]0-i up [there]2954-there , [we]3161-we want to make the most of [our]3161-we time . The trip will last two weeks . ”[90-huxley] “ Two weeks ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout . [You]0-i want [us]3161-we to be up [there]2954-there for two weeks ? [I]0-i thought [we]3161-we just had a two - week limit to turn things in . ”[0-i] It should n’t take that long . [Huxley]90-huxley ’s jaw ticks , [his]999-his frustration coming to a boiling point as [his]999-his forehead starts to turn a dangerous shade of red . [He]999-his ’s frustrated with [me]0-i , but who the fuck cares ? [He]999-his wants [me]0-i to be sharing [a penthouse]1000-a penthouse with [Kelsey]89-kelsey for two weeks , [the one person [I]0-i do n’t want to be around]1001-the one person i do n’t want to be around ? Is this some sort of scheme by [the engaged couple]1002-the engaged couple to get [two singles]1003-two singles together ? When have [we]1004-we ever forced [two employees]1005-two employees to share [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse before . . . for two weeks ? Never . In a firm voice , [Huxley]90-huxley says , [You]0-i will be [there]2954-there for two weeks . [I]1007-he expect to receive daily reports on all decisions . And while [you]0-i ’re up [there]2954-there , make sure [you]0-i set up meetings with [the mayor]3168-the mayor . [You]0-i ’re [the media relations for [this company]3170-this company]3169-the media relations for this company , after all , [JP]87-jp , the face . Do n’t forget it . ”[1007-he] As if [he]1007-he ’d ever let [me]0-i . Pushing away from the table , [I]0-i stand abruptly and ask , “ When does [the plane]3171-the plane leave ? ”[0-i] [Six sharp]25-six sharp . Do n’t be late . ”[0-i] “ Would n’t dream of it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move past [everyone]2734-everyone , straight out of [the conference room]370-the conference room , and toward [[my]0-i office]561-my office . This is bullshit . There ’s no need for [us]1011-us to be in [San Francisco]21-san francisco for two weeks , sharing [a place]1012-a place . It ’s like [he]1007-he ’s purposefully trying to make [my]0-i life a living hell . But that ’s how it ’s always been — [Huxley]90-huxley gets what [he]1007-he wants . Starting this business was [his]1007-he idea . [I]0-i jumped on board because , frankly , [I]0-i did n’t have anything better to do with [my]0-i life , but when responsibilities started to roll out , it was as if [Breaker]97-breaker and [Huxley]90-huxley just came up with jobs [they]1013-they wanted and gave [me]0-i the leftovers . Does it look like [I]0-i want to be [the face of [the company]3158-the company]1014-the face of the company ? [The guy who talks to [the media]1017-the media and waves [his]1016-the guy who talks to the media and waves his hand about and cuts ribbons hand about and cuts ribbons]1016-the guy who talks to the media and waves his hand about and cuts ribbons ? Fuck no . There ’s no purpose behind it . Nothing . [I]0-i do n’t feel fulfilled when [I]0-i go to work . And now , this . . . [I]0-i ’m [a fucking glorified babysitter]1018-a fucking glorified babysitter . [I]0-i reach [[my]0-i office]561-my office , but when [I]0-i go to shut [my]0-i door , [I]0-i ’m quickly stopped by [[my]0-i brothers , who apparently have been hot on [my]0-i heels during [my]0-i retreat]1020-my brothers , who apparently have been hot on my heels during my retreat . [I]0-i do n’t bother arguing with [them]1020-my brothers , who apparently have been hot on my heels during my retreat to leave [me]0-i alone , because there ’s no point , [they]1020-my brothers , who apparently have been hot on my heels during my retreat wo n’t give [me]0-i privacy . [I]0-i take a seat on [my]0-i couch and spread out , ready for the lecture . [Breaker]97-breaker shuts the door and then joins [Huxley]90-huxley , who ’s standing in front of [me]0-i , hands in [his]1021-me pockets . “ What the actual fuck was that about ? ”[1021-me] [he]1021-me asks . [Me]1021-me ? ”[1021-me] [I]0-i point to [myself]0-i . [You]90-huxley do n’t think [you]90-huxley could ’ve told [me]1021-me that in private ? [You]90-huxley know , so [we]3172-we could discuss it without [the girls]3173-the girls being [there]2954-there ? Instead , [you]90-huxley just gave [me]1021-me a sentencing and went on with [your]90-huxley life . ”[1021-me] “ Sentencing ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . [I]90-huxley fail to see how spending two weeks in [a penthouse in [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3175-a penthouse in san francisco , [one of [[your]90-huxley favorite cities]3177-your favorite cities]3176-one of your favorite cities , is a sentencing . [I]90-huxley assumed [you]90-huxley ’d appreciate the break from [LA]18-la . ”[90-huxley] “ Not when [I]0-i have to spend it babysitting [someone]364-someone , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ It ’s not babysitting , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says . [You]90-huxley ’d be helping [Kelsey]89-kelsey and taking on one of [[our]3179-we most prestigious renovation projects]3180-our most prestigious renovation projects . This is fucking huge , [man]3096-man . ”[97-breaker] “ Not to mention , [we]3179-we ’re working with [a new set of contractors in [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3182-a new set of contractors in san francisco because that ’s who was available . [They]3182-a new set of contractors in san francisco know how much [we]3179-we ’re worth and [they]3182-a new set of contractors in san francisco know the importance of the project . [We]3179-we do n’t need [them]3182-a new set of contractors in san francisco taking advantage of [Kelsey]89-kelsey , who is n’t experienced in this at all . ”[90-huxley] [You]90-huxley do n’t think [she]89-kelsey can stand up for [herself]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Because [I]0-i have it on very good authority that [she]89-kelsey knows how to put [a man]2703-a man in [his]2703-a man place . ”[0-i] [She]1022-she ’s only done it half a dozen times with [me]0-i . “ It ’s not that [she]89-kelsey ca n’t handle [herself]89-kelsey , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . “ Because if [she]89-kelsey ’s anything like [[her]89-kelsey sister]3184-her sister , then [I]90-huxley know there ’s a solid fighting spirit in [her]89-kelsey . But this is about headlining the process as [an owner]3185-an owner , making sure things are done the way [we]3186-we want [them]3187-them , and assisting [Kelsey]89-kelsey with [her]89-kelsey initiatives . [We]3186-we have one shot at impressing [the historic societies in [a city [we]3186-we love]3189-a city we love]3188-the historic societies in a city we love . If [we]3186-we can make good on [this building]3190-this building , think of [all the other buildings [we]3186-we could help with]3191-all the other buildings we could help with . ”[90-huxley] “ If it ’s that important , then [you]90-huxley fucking do it . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley ’s jaw tightens even more . [You]90-huxley know [I]90-huxley ca n’t . [I]90-huxley have commitments with [Lottie]89-kelsey , and even though [this company]3170-this company means everything to [me]90-huxley , [she]89-kelsey means more . [You]90-huxley ’re [the one who represents [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises]3193-the one who represents cane enterprises , [you]90-huxley ’re [the one who works directly with [Kelsey]89-kelsey]3194-the one who works directly with kelsey , and unless [you]90-huxley can give [me]90-huxley a specific — and [I]90-huxley mean very specific — reason why [you]90-huxley ca n’t go up there tonight , then [you]90-huxley ’re leaving in four hours . ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i look away because fuck . . . [I]0-i ’m frustrated . Because [I]0-i do n’t have a good reason other than [Kelsey]89-kelsey hurt [[my]0-i man]1023-my man feelings and [I]0-i have n’t been able to get over it . Because [I]0-i do n’t want to be around [her]89-kelsey . Because . . . shit , because [I]0-i think [I]0-i like [her]89-kelsey , and [I]0-i do n’t know how to navigate those feelings , feelings [I]0-i ’ve been suppressing for quite some time . And because [she]89-kelsey wants absolutely nothing to do with [me]0-i , it makes navigating those feelings that much more difficult . [She]89-kelsey thinks of [me]0-i as [a player]1024-a player , [a man who seeks [his]0-i own pleasure , nothing more . Spending two weeks with [her]89-kelsey in [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse]1025-a man who seeks his own pleasure , nothing more . spending two weeks with her in the penthouse is going to be absolute torture . [I]0-i ’ll be surrounded by [her]89-kelsey heady scent , subjected to [her]89-kelsey nighttime wear , forced to share meals . . . It ’ll be like having [a live - in girlfriend]1027-a live - in girlfriend without [the girlfriend]1028-the girlfriend part . But [I]0-i have no excuse . No out . So , might as well stop fighting it and go fucking pack . “ Well , then , [I]1029-i guess [I]1029-i ’m leaving in four hours . ”[1029-i] In silence , with [their]1029-i eyes watching [my]0-i every move , [I]0-i shoot up from the couch and make sure [I]0-i have everything [I]0-i need before walking past [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers and out of [[my]0-i office]561-my office , straight to [the elevator]1032-the elevator where . . . of course , [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Kelsey]89-kelsey are talking . Great . [I]0-i stand a good five feet away , but [their]1029-i conversation is loud enough for [me]0-i to hear . “ — [I]89-kelsey ’m sure it wo n’t be that bad , as there are [two large rooms]3195-two large rooms , separated by [a living area and kitchenette]3196-a living area and kitchenette . So , do n’t worry . Hey , remember the time [we]3197-we went to [San Francisco]21-san francisco with [Mom]101-mom ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . [She]101-mom took [us]3197-we to [that dim sum restaurant]3198-that dim sum restaurant and [we]3197-we ate so much that [the owners]3199-the owners took a picture of [us]3197-we because [they]3199-the owners ’d never seen [two girls]3200-two girls consume as much food as [we]3197-we did . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks , “ What was it called again ? Dim Sum Star ? ”[89-kelsey] Jesus , how long does it take for [an elevator]1033-an elevator to get [here]2716-here ? And clearly , [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s not happy with the plan to share [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse with [me]0-i either . Do n’t worry , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i know how [you]89-kelsey feel about [me]0-i . [Lottie]89-kelsey nods . “ Yup . It was so good . And , of course , [the Ghirardelli store]3201-the ghirardelli store . [You]89-kelsey have to go . Oh , and hey , kind of convenient that [Derek]166-derek will be up there , right ? ”[89-kelsey] [Derek]166-derek ? Now [my]0-i ears are turned in [their]1036-their direction . Who the hell is [Derek]166-derek ? “ Oh yeah , [you]89-kelsey ’re right . This trip already sounds better . ”[166-derek] “ Want [me]167-ellie to text [Ellie]167-ellie and see if [he]166-derek ’ll meet [you]167-ellie for dinner ? [I]167-ellie mean , it ’s kind of perfect that the timing ’s matched up . ”[167-ellie] [Ellie]167-ellie . . . there ’s only one Ellie [I]0-i know and that ’s [Dave Toney]168-dave ’s [Ellie]167-ellie . [Dave Toney]168-dave is [one of [[our]1038-our business partners]1039-our business partners]1037-one of our business partners . [Ellie]167-ellie and [Lottie]89-kelsey have grown close . Which means . . . [Derek]166-derek must be [Derek Toney]166-derek , [[Dave]168-dave ’s younger brother]1040-dave ’s younger brother . Is [Lottie]89-kelsey trying to fix [Kelsey]89-kelsey up with [Derek]166-derek ? “ Might be nice to have something to do at night , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says . Well , [Jesus]148-jesus christ fuck , [I]0-i ’ll be [there]2954-there . It ’s not like [you]1042-you ’re going to be banished to [an island]1043-an island all alone . Then again , why would [she]89-kelsey consider [me]0-i [a decent companion]1044-a decent companion ? [The obnoxious asshole]1045-the obnoxious asshole . [I]89-kelsey ’ll set it up , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . [Ellie]167-ellie was telling [me]89-kelsey that [Derek]166-derek is [a total foodie]3202-a total foodie . [I]89-kelsey ’ll bet [he]166-derek takes [you]89-kelsey somewhere that will blow [your]89-kelsey mind . ”[89-kelsey] “ Which means [I]89-kelsey need to pack some dresses for a date or two , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says with excitement . Fucking . . . great . Just what [I]0-i need , to stay in [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse for two weeks while [Kelsey]89-kelsey goes out on dates with [Derek]166-derek . This is going to be a fucking fantastic trip .

Chapter Nine

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Rowan]169-rowan and [Bonnie Kelsey]170-bonnie : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]1048-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Rowan]169-rowan and [Bonnie]170-bonnie , thank [you]1050-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , tell [us]1048-we how [you]1050-you met . [Bonnie]170-bonnie : [I]0-i was in a towel , and [he]166-derek was [a voyeur in [[my]0-i kitchen]1052-my kitchen]1051-a voyeur in my kitchen , waiting to catch a glimpse . [Rowan]169-rowan : [Jesus]148-jesus christ . That ’s not what happened . [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Were [you]169-rowan or were [you]169-rowan not in [[my]0-i kitchen]1052-my kitchen uninvited ? [Rowan]169-rowan : [I]0-i was in [[me]0-i maw ’s house]1054-me maw ’s house . [She]1055-she neglected to tell [me]0-i [two lasses]1056-two lasses were renting [the cottage]1057-the cottage . [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Still , [you]169-rowan were there and [I]0-i was in a towel . [I]0-i tried to shoo [him]1058-he away with a broom , but [he]1058-he would n’t leave . [Kelsey]170-bonnie : A broom , always a good weapon . [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Not for [a stubborn Scot]1059-a stubborn scot . [Rowan]169-rowan : Want to talk about stubborn ? Shall [we]1060-we talk about [your]170-bonnie laundry list of stubbornness ? [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Not necessary , [dear]1061-dear . Back to the story — of course [I]0-i thought [he]1058-he was attractive , [I]0-i mean , look at [him]1058-he , how could [you]169-rowan not ? But , [man]3096-man , was [he]1058-he grumpy . [Kelsey]170-bonnie : What were [you]170-bonnie doing in [Scotland]26-scotland ? [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Oh , [[my]0-i friend]1063-my friend and [I]0-i took a job with [[Rowan]169-rowan ’s mom]1064-rowan ’s mom . [They]1065-they needed [someone to watch over [[their]1065-they coffee shop]1067-their coffee shop]1066-someone to watch over their coffee shop , and housing was included . [We]1068-we both needed a change of scenery , so [we]1068-we jumped on the idea . [We]1068-we were hired . But [I]0-i was n’t prepared for the kind of repairs [the coffee shop]1069-the coffee shop needed , nor the challenging glare from [Rowan]169-rowan with every step [I]0-i took . [Kelsey]170-bonnie : So , [you]170-bonnie two were enemies to [lovers]2856-lovers , then . [Rowan]169-rowan : [Aye]171-aye . Very much [enemies]1071-enemies . [Bonnie]170-bonnie : Until [I]0-i wore [him]1072-him down with [my]0-i American accent . [He]1072-him won [me]0-i over with [his]1072-him cake . [Rowan]169-rowan : That [I]0-i did .

* * *

[Lottie]89-kelsey has always talked about flying in [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s private plane]1073-huxley ’s private plane . [She]89-kelsey ’s told [me]0-i the wonders of not having to go through the same routine as flying commercial and dealing with [crowds of [people]2736-people]1074-crowds of people . [She]89-kelsey ’s talked about the service . . . [the bedroom in the back]1076-the bedroom in the back , but nothing [she]89-kelsey told [me]0-i would have prepared [me]0-i for this flight . Because this , [[my]0-i friends]556-my friends , is bougie . This is easily the fanciest thing [I]0-i ’ve ever done in [my]0-i life . [Cane]90-huxley is printed on everything . The seats , the stationery . . . the napkins , even the apron [the flight attendant]1078-the flight attendant is wearing . And these seats — [my]0-i God , [I]0-i could get lost in one forever . [I]0-i ’d buy this seat alone , sell everything else in [[my]0-i tiny studio apartment]1079-my tiny studio apartment , and live in this seat . [I]0-i ’d do everything in this seat . [I]0-i ’d sleep , eat , [I]0-i ’d even sponge - bathe [myself]0-i . [I]0-i ’ve already texted [Lottie]89-kelsey “ good luck to [the flight staff]3203-the flight staff in removing [me]1080-the staff from [this plane]3204-this plane . ”[1080-the staff] Oh , and [the staff]1080-the staff . [They]1080-the staff call [me]0-i [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner and [they]1080-the staff had [my]0-i favorite seltzer on hand that [I]0-i of course indulged in . As well as these fresh - from - the - freaking - airplane - oven cookies . [I]0-i had three . THREE ! And [we]1081-we ’re talking the size of [my]0-i fist . Three large , chocolatey cookies that tasted like success . Needless to say , [I]0-i ’ve been enjoying [myself]0-i despite the brooding , in - a - constant - state - of - annoyance , [JP]87-jp . [He]87-jp did n’t speak to [me]0-i when [we]1081-we arrived at [the hangar]1082-the hangar . [He]87-jp did n’t say anything when [we]1081-we both sat down , and when [the flight attendant]1078-the flight attendant asked [him]87-jp if [he]87-jp wanted a cookie , [he]87-jp said no but added another “ finger ”[87-jp] of Scotch to [his]87-jp drink . [His]87-jp loss , because these cookies are phenomenal . “ Can [I]173-ronda get [you]87-jp anything else , [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane ? ”[173-ronda] [Ronda]173-ronda , [the lovely flight attendant]1084-the lovely flight attendant , asks . [I]87-jp ’m good , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , staring out the window . [She]173-ronda then turns to [me]0-i . [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , can [I]173-ronda grab [you]87-jp another cookie ? ”[173-ronda] [She]173-ronda winks , as if [we]1081-we both know [I]0-i really want another one . And [I]0-i do , but three is pushing it . [Four]174-four is out of line . [I]0-i press [my]0-i palm to [my]0-i stomach and say , [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i should . ”[0-i] [She]173-ronda gently rests [her]173-ronda hand on [my]0-i shoulder and says , “ How about this ? [I]173-ronda ’ll pack some up in a bag for [you]0-i to take with [you]0-i . ”[173-ronda] Do n’t mind if [I]0-i do . [You]0-i ’re [an absolute angel]3205-an absolute angel , [Ronda]173-ronda . ”[173-ronda] [She]173-ronda gives [me]0-i a pat and then retreats to the back of [the airplane]1085-the airplane . [I]0-i glance over at [JP]87-jp and watch [him]87-jp casually lift [his]87-jp glass to [his]87-jp lips . Even though there was a seat right across from [me]0-i , [he]87-jp chose to sit on the other side of [the plane]3171-the plane . If [his]87-jp outrage in [the conference room]370-the conference room did n’t clue [me]0-i in on [his]87-jp displeasure with this trip , then [his]87-jp obvious seat choice has . [You]87-jp know . . . [you]87-jp could be a little nicer to [Ronda]173-ronda , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , because why not poke the bear even more ? [I]87-jp ’m perfectly pleasant to [her]173-ronda , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , keeping [his]87-jp eyes on the window . [I]87-jp have n’t heard any pleases or thank [yous]3206-yous from [you]87-jp . Politeness goes a long way , [JP]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Are [you]87-jp [the polite police]3207-the polite police now ? ”[87-jp] “ No , but [I]87-jp do think [we]3208-we need to hold [each other]333-each other accountable for [our]3208-we actions and , frankly , [I]87-jp do n’t think [you]87-jp ’re being very kind at the moment . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp slowly moves [his]87-jp head to the side so [he]87-jp ’s looking at [me]0-i through [his]87-jp dark - framed aviators . “ Have [I]87-jp told [her]3210-her to fuck off ? Have [I]87-jp tripped [her]3210-her on purpose ? Did [I]87-jp punch [her]3210-her at any point in time ? ”[87-jp] When [I]0-i do n’t answer , [he]87-jp continues . “ Did n’t think so . Now , get off [my]87-jp back . ”[87-jp] God , [he]87-jp ’s being so . . . nasty . What ’s [his]87-jp deal ? “ Well , [you]87-jp could stand to be nicer to [me]87-jp , that ’s for sure . [You]87-jp know , [we]3211-we have to spend two weeks together . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m well aware of [my]87-jp sentencing . ”[87-jp] “ Sentencing ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with a gasp . “ That ’s what this is to [you]87-jp ? A sentencing ? Because , to [me]0-i , it seems like a once - in - a - lifetime opportunity to help restore [a building]3212-a building to [its]3212-a building glory days while making [it]3212-a building modern and sustainable . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp smooths [his]87-jp hand over [his]87-jp jaw and says , “ Of course [you]0-i ’d put some sort of fairy - tale spin on it . ”[87-jp] “ It ’s not a fairy tale . This is a huge opportunity . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’ll tell [you]87-jp what this trip is going to be , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [We]3211-we ’re going to have to share [a penthouse]1000-a penthouse for two weeks , which [I]87-jp know [wo]3214-wo n’t be big enough to stay out of each other ’s hair . [You]87-jp ’ll follow [me]87-jp around to different meetings , [I]87-jp ’ll get to hear [you]87-jp say the same spiel repeatedly about how using bamboo organizers are so much healthier for [the earth]3215-the earth than the plastic ones , and [you]87-jp ’ll get all excited about [everyone else]2952-everyone else ’s excitement . Meanwhile , [I]87-jp ’m counting down the minutes until [I]87-jp can return to [my]87-jp normal life in [LA]18-la . ”[87-jp] When [he]87-jp turns back to the window , [I]0-i say , “ Or [you]87-jp can use it as a chance to get to know [me]0-i better . [You]87-jp know , the option to be [a friend]3217-a friend is still there . ”[0-i] “ Why the fuck would [you]0-i want to be [[my]87-jp friend]1063-my friend ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Why would n’t [I]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , feeling affronted all of a sudden . [I]0-i ’m [an obnoxious asshole]3219-an obnoxious asshole in [your]87-jp opinion . [You]87-jp think [I]0-i ’m [some sort of sycophant who preys on [women]2683-women when [they]2683-women ’re at [their]2683-women lowest]3220-some sort of sycophant who preys on women when they ’re at their lowest . Why would [you]87-jp want to be [[my]0-i friend]1063-my friend ? ”[0-i] “ When have [I]87-jp ever said that ? ”[87-jp] [You]0-i did n’t have to , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers . “ What the hell are [you]87-jp talking about ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp eyes shoot to [mine]0-i and [he]87-jp says , “ The night of the gala . [You]0-i assumed [I]87-jp was trying to take [you]0-i to bed . Could n’t have been further from the truth . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i pause and allow [my]0-i mind to rewind back to that night . [We]1088-we had a nice time dancing , [Edwin]142-edwin left with [Genesis]144-genesis , and [I]0-i was feeling out of sorts , like [I]0-i was n’t good enough . [JP]87-jp took [me]0-i back to [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place . . . and said so many kind words that [I]0-i ’ve banished from [my]0-i mind . Until now . “ What [he]87-jp should ’ve said the moment [he]87-jp saw [you]0-i was how fucking breathtaking [you]0-i look . . . [He]87-jp should ’ve lifted [your]0-i hand and pressed the lightest of kisses to [your]0-i knuckles , just so [he]87-jp could claim [you]0-i in front of [everyone around [him]87-jp]3105-everyone around him . . . And when [he]87-jp lowered [your]0-i hand , [he]87-jp should ’ve leaned inches from [your]0-i ear , and said how intoxicatingly beautiful [you]0-i smelled . ”[1090-they] Because [they]1090-they ’d seemed so out of character for [JP]87-jp , [I]0-i ’d largely ignored how [I]0-i ’d reacted to [them]1090-they . What [I]0-i had recalled was where [he]87-jp ’d had [[his]87-jp driver]1091-his driver take [us]1092-us . “ But [you]0-i took [me]87-jp back to [[your]0-i place]3224-your place . If [you]0-i were n’t trying to do that then what were [you]0-i doing ? ”[87-jp] “ Being nice , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp wails . “ Something , apparently , [you]0-i do n’t think [I]87-jp can be . [Your]0-i opinion of [me]87-jp is so low , that [you]0-i believe only the worst . ”[87-jp] “ But . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chew on [my]0-i bottom lip , trying to figure out the details . “ Just forget it , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ No , [JP]87-jp , let ’s talk about this . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t want to be on [this airplane]3225-this airplane right now , so do [you]0-i really think [I]87-jp want to talk about that night ? [I]87-jp do n’t . So , fucking drop it . ”[87-jp] And then [he]87-jp turns away from [me]0-i , shutting [me]0-i out . The rest of the trip is spent in silence . [I]0-i ca n’t be sure what [he]87-jp ’s thinking about , but [his]87-jp words are playing on repeat in [my]0-i head . [Your]1093-your opinion of [me]0-i is so low , that [you]1093-your believe only the worst . Have [I]0-i always gotten along with [JP]87-jp ? No . But [I]0-i would n’t say [he]87-jp ’s the worst human [I]0-i ’ve ever come across . [He]87-jp ’s temperamental , does n’t seem to have the most impeccable conversational skills , and loves to drive [people]2736-people nuts , but [I]0-i would n’t say [he]87-jp ’s the worst . [I]0-i see good in [him]87-jp . [I]0-i see how [he]87-jp helps [others]2851-others . [I]0-i see the way [he]87-jp knows [everyone]2734-everyone ’s name in [the office]548-the office , how [he]87-jp says hi to [them]2734-everyone , how [he]87-jp gets [people]2736-people coffee just out of the kindness of [his]87-jp heart . [I]0-i see the compliments [he]87-jp tosses around , the good - natured comradery [he]87-jp creates , and the smiles [he]87-jp puts on faces . [I]0-i see the love and respect [he]87-jp has for [[his]87-jp brothers]1099-his brothers , even when [they]1099-his brothers ’re fighting . So why did n’t [I]0-i see that the night of the gala ? [I]0-i glance over at [him]87-jp . Did [I]0-i really make [him]87-jp feel that way ? But then [I]0-i consider [his]87-jp comments from a few hours ago when [I]0-i suggested [I]0-i could do the job on [my]0-i own . There had been . . . disdain in [his]87-jp voice . “ The fuck [you]0-i can . There ’s more to it than just walking around [an office]3143-an office . Hate to say it , but [you]0-i ’re not sufficiently educated to handle this on [your]0-i own . ”[87-jp] Something tells [me]0-i that [his]87-jp reaction was n’t completely about [my]0-i professional skills , but more to do with [his]87-jp feelings about [me]0-i . How did this go so wrong ?

* * *

“ What [room]3227-room do [you]0-i want ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks once [we]1100-we ’re done touring [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . And [I]0-i use the word touring loosely . [JP]87-jp tossed [his]87-jp arm around , telling [me]0-i exactly where “ everything ”[87-jp] was while [I]0-i gazed at [the luxurious suite [I]0-i ’d be living in]1102-the luxurious suite i ’d be living in for the next two weeks . The exterior walls of [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse are made up entirely of floor - to - ceiling windows , offering a breathtaking view of [the San Francisco Bay]1104-the san francisco bay and [the Golden Gate Bridge]1105-the golden gate bridge . The floors are beautiful gray - stained wood , accented with plush rugs and pristine , white furniture . There are pictures of buildings on the walls and [I]0-i recognize a few that [I]0-i ’ve visited in [LA]18-la . These must all belong to [Cane Real Estate]1106-cane real estate . And [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . . . oh , [it]2687-the kitchen ’s beautiful with state - of - the - art appliances , marble countertops , and a kitchen island that seems bigger than [[my]0-i entire apartment]1108-my entire apartment combined . Two weeks [here]2716-here will be no problem . If only [[my]0-i company]1110-my company was more agreeable . [I]0-i do n’t mind . Whichever is fine , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , especially since [both rooms]1111-both rooms are the same , from what [JP]87-jp said . If one was bigger , [I]0-i could clearly take [the smaller room]1112-the smaller room . “ Just choose one , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says in an exasperated tone . “ Fine , the right one . ”[87-jp] “ Good . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp rolls [his]87-jp bag across the wooden floors and calls out , [Ronda]173-ronda ordered [us]3228-us dinner . Should be [here]2716-here any moment . Just start eating whenever [you]0-i want . ”[87-jp] And then [he]87-jp ’s down [the hall]705-the hall and out of sight . Well , [I]0-i guess that ’s that . [I]0-i roll [my]0-i suitcase in the opposite direction , toward [[my]0-i room]1114-my room . [I]0-i ’m determined to not let [his]87-jp bad attitude affect [me]0-i . When [I]0-i reach [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , [I]0-i set [my]0-i purse down and flop back on the king - sized bed , which is decorated in white linens and soft gray pillows . [A girl]356-a girl could seriously get used to this . Now [I]0-i kind of know how it felt to be [Lottie]89-kelsey when [she]89-kelsey first moved in with [Huxley]90-huxley . Too bad for [me]0-i , this is only for two weeks . [I]0-i reach for [my]0-i purse and pull out [my]0-i phone . [I]0-i press on [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s name and put the phone on speaker , listening to it ring . “ Gah ! Did [you]89-kelsey make it to [San Francisco]21-san francisco ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says when [she]89-kelsey answers the phone . [I]89-kelsey did and , oh [my]89-kelsey God , [Lottie]89-kelsey , [this place]2765-this place is so beautiful . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t get over it . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey ’m so jealous . [I]89-kelsey told [Hux]141-hux when [you]89-kelsey two are done [there]2954-there , [we]89-kelsey need to at least take a weekend trip , because [he]3232-he was showing [me]89-kelsey pictures of [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse and it looks like a total dream . ”[89-kelsey] “ It is . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t wait to see what kind of views [I]89-kelsey have in the morning . ”[89-kelsey] “ And the flight was good ? ”[89-kelsey] “ As good as it could be . ”[89-kelsey] “ Turbulence ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks . “ Well , not turbulence with [the plane]3171-the plane , more like turbulence with [JP]87-jp . [He]3232-he ’s really not happy with [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey gathered that . Did [he]3232-he say why ? ”[89-kelsey] [Your]1117-your opinion of [me]0-i is so low , that [you]1117-your believe only the worst . [He]3232-he did and , honestly , [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]1117-your feel sick about it . ”[1117-your] “ What happened ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Well , [you]0-i know how [Edwin]142-edwin and [Genesis]144-genesis went off with each other the night of the gala ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Ah , yes , and [you]0-i have n’t heard from [him]3232-he since . [A real winner]3235-a real winner , that one . ”[1117-your] “ Yeah , well , [I]89-kelsey did n’t really tell [you]0-i what happened after . ”[89-kelsey] “ What do [you]0-i mean [you]0-i did n’t tell [me]89-kelsey — oh [my]89-kelsey God , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , did [you]0-i sleep with [JP]87-jp ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i nearly shout and then realize [I]0-i might be too loud . [I]0-i bring [my]0-i voice down while [I]0-i stand from the bed and start to unpack and organize [my]0-i things . [We]3236-we did n’t sleep together , but [he]87-jp did take [me]0-i back to [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place , and when [I]0-i say [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place , [I]0-i mean [the driveway]908-the driveway . That ’s as far as [I]0-i let it go before [I]0-i told [him]87-jp [I]0-i was n’t sleeping with [him]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Did [he]87-jp ask [you]0-i into [[his]87-jp house]911-his house ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [I]0-i kind of . . . [you]0-i know . . . assumed that [he]87-jp wanted to sleep with [me]0-i . But [he]87-jp was just being nice . [I]0-i inadvertently insulted [him]87-jp and now [he]87-jp pretty much hates [me]0-i . [He]87-jp barely talked to [me]0-i on [the airplane]1085-the airplane , and has retreated to [[his]87-jp room]557-his room , where [I]0-i ’m sure [he]87-jp ’ll stay the entire night . ”[0-i] “ So , [you]0-i ’re in an uncomfortable situation , then ? ”[0-i] “ Correct . ”[0-i] [I]0-i carry [my]0-i toiletries to [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom and line up everything in a row by order of how [I]0-i use them . [I]0-i really want to enjoy [myself]0-i here . [We]3243-we ’ve rarely been able to travel , let alone in a lavish way , but things are weird with [him]87-jp and [I]0-i do n’t know how to make it better . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp is [an odd one]3244-an odd one . [He]87-jp ’s very sarcastic , and sometimes , it seems like [he]87-jp does n’t take things seriously , but there ’s a darker side to [him]87-jp , too , a side [he]87-jp does n’t talk about much . Even [Huxley]90-huxley was saying how [JP]87-jp can be very closed off . [I]0-i think [you]0-i struck that dark part and maybe the only way to fix things is to apologize sincerely . ”[0-i] [I]0-i sigh and lean against [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom ’s honeycomb - tiled wall . [I]0-i think [you]0-i ’re right . ”[0-i] [I]0-i know [I]0-i am . Oh , and hey , [I]0-i talked to [Ellie]167-ellie . [Derek]166-derek would love to meet up while [you]0-i ’re in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . [He]166-derek ’s going to check [his]166-derek schedule and will let [you]0-i know when [he]166-derek ’s available . ”[0-i] “ Okay , yeah , cool . ”[0-i] [My]0-i stomach lurches and [I]0-i ca n’t be sure if it ’s from needing dinner or the looming conversation [I]0-i have to have with [JP]87-jp . Either way , it ’s not a good feeling . [I]0-i should go . Dinner will be [here]2716-here soon . ”[0-i] [You]0-i got this , [sis]2986-sis . Show [them]3247-them what [the Gardner sisters]3248-the gardner sisters are all about . ”[87-jp]

* * *

It ’ll be fine . Just lightly knock on [his]87-jp door and if [he]87-jp happens to snap at [you]1120-you like a beast , just know , it has everything to do with what [you]1120-you said to [him]87-jp , and nothing to do with [him]87-jp . . . Taking a deep breath , [I]0-i lift [my]0-i knuckles to [his]87-jp door and give it a quick knock . [I]0-i press [my]0-i lips together as [I]0-i wait for [his]87-jp response , but when [I]0-i hear nothing , [I]0-i knock again and ask , [JP]87-jp , are [you]87-jp in [there]2954-there ? Dinner is here . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wait for a few breaths and then [he]87-jp finally calls out , “ Eat without [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i was afraid [he]87-jp ’d say that . That ’s why [I]0-i devised a plan to get [him]87-jp out of [[his]87-jp room]557-his room . “ Okay , but , uh , [I]0-i think [I]0-i broke the oven and it sort of smells like gas so do [you]1122-you think [you]1122-you could help [me]0-i with that ? Then [I]0-i ’ll leave [you]1122-you alone . ”[0-i] Between [you]1122-you and [me]0-i , [I]0-i did n’t even touch the oven , but [I]0-i figured a gas leak might get [him]87-jp moving . And lucky for [me]0-i , [I]0-i ’m right . The doorknob tilts down and then the door opens , revealing [a bare - chested JP]87-jp , wearing only a pair of shorts . Well , uh . . . would [you]1122-you look at that . An expansive chest of thick pecs that connect to [his]87-jp prominent collarbone , and sculpted arms that are peppered in ink . Below [his]87-jp pecs are a row of what [I]0-i can only describe as unattainable abs that ripple into an edged Adonis belt where [his]87-jp shorts hang dangerously low . [I]0-i was n’t , uh , [I]0-i was n’t expecting [him]87-jp to answer the door like this , hence why [I]0-i have n’t said anything . Or why [I]0-i ca n’t seem to find [my]0-i words . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . the oven . ”[0-i] “ Right , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , stepping to the side . “ The oven . Gas . It smells like gas . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp moves past [me]0-i and [I]0-i watch [his]87-jp backside retreat into [the main living space]1123-the main living space . [I]0-i ’m not one to dismiss the truth , even if it pains [me]0-i . And the truth here is that [JP]87-jp is gorgeous , especially with [his]87-jp shirt off . [The kind of man that [you]1125-you see walking down [the street]3003-the street]1124-the kind of man that you see walking down the street and all [you]1125-you can do is stop and stare to take in everything about [him]87-jp . With [his]87-jp shirt off , not only do [you]1125-you get glimpses of [JP]87-jp ’s tattoos , but [you]1125-you get a whole show . * Mentally cries * God , [he]87-jp ’s sexy . Ahh , did [I]0-i just think that ? No , [he]87-jp ’s not sexy . [He]87-jp ’s just . . . [someone to look at that ’s easy on the eyes . Not sexy . Nope . Just . . . attractive . That ’s all]1127-someone to look at that ’s easy on the eyes . not sexy . nope . just . . . attractive . that ’s all . Okay , moving on . “ What did [you]0-i do to the oven ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp calls out . This is where [I]0-i have to play defense because the moment [he]87-jp knows [I]0-i was lying , [he]87-jp ’ll make a run for [[his]87-jp room]557-his room and [I]0-i ’m going to have to block [him]87-jp . [I]0-i prepared for such an event by rolling up [my]0-i sleeves and removing [my]0-i socks so [I]0-i do n’t slide along the floor . The sweaty gription on the bottom of [my]0-i feet has already occurred , so [I]0-i believe [I]0-i ’m ready . [I]0-i walk into [the living area]1129-the living area , staying close to [[his]87-jp hallway]1130-his hallway to perform a blockade , and in a very dramatic voice , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i lied . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp head snaps around and [his]87-jp eyes meet [mine]0-i . [You]0-i lied ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks with a tilt of [his]87-jp brow . “ Indeed . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i hold [my]0-i chin up even higher . “ The oven story is a farce . [I]0-i never even touched it . ”[0-i] “ Jesus Christ , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , and just like [I]0-i predicted , [he]87-jp starts moving in [my]0-i direction . Man [your]1131-your position ! [I]0-i back up into the mouth of [the hallway]1132-the hallway and extend all limbs out , creating a wall with [my]0-i body . If [he]87-jp wants to get to [[his]87-jp room]557-his room , [he]87-jp has to get through [me]0-i first . Which , [I]0-i ’m aware [he]87-jp probably has [an entire person]1134-an entire person ’s weight of muscle on [his]87-jp body over [me]0-i , but [I]0-i ’m scrappy and [I]0-i know how to cling to [someone like a spider monkey]1135-someone like a spider monkey . “ What are [you]0-i doing ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks as [he]87-jp stops a few feet in front of [me]0-i , seeming to realize [I]0-i ’m [a force to be reckoned with]1136-a force to be reckoned with . “ Stopping [you]0-i from retreating to [[your]0-i room]3250-your room . What does it look like ? ”[87-jp] “ It looks like a pathetic attempt to get in [my]87-jp way . With one push of [my]87-jp pinky , [I]87-jp will have [you]0-i flat on [your]0-i ass . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m much stronger than [I]87-jp let on . Try [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] There is no way [he]87-jp ’ll touch [me]0-i . [Boy]383-boy , was [I]0-i wrong . [He]87-jp steps up to [me]0-i , presses [his]87-jp pinky to [my]0-i chest , and gives [me]0-i just enough of a nudge to throw [me]0-i off balance . [TIMBER]175-timber ! Because [my]0-i arms and legs are fully extended , [I]0-i have nothing to grab and , before [I]0-i can even think about a counterattack , [I]0-i ’m falling on [my]0-i ass with a clunk . [Man]3096-man down . Heat washes over [my]0-i cheeks when [I]0-i look up at [JP]87-jp , just as [he]87-jp starts to step over [me]0-i . [I]0-i might be embarrassed by [my]0-i pitiful attempt to stop [him]87-jp , but [I]0-i ’m not giving up . Ohhhh no . [I]0-i will not go down without a fight . [This man]2781-this man will talk to [me]0-i if it ’s the last thing [I]0-i do . [I]0-i twist [my]0-i body so [my]0-i stomach is pressing against the ground , extend [my]0-i arms out , latch onto [his]87-jp leg , and pull [myself]0-i closer , hanging on for dear life . “ What the fuck ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , staring down at [me]0-i . [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp leg , attempting to rid [himself]87-jp of [me]0-i — as if [I]0-i ’m an inconvenient piece of toilet paper that ’s stuck to [his]87-jp shoe . Too bad for [him]87-jp , [my]0-i grip is strong . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , what the hell are [you]87-jp doing ? ”[0-i] With [my]0-i cheek pressed against [his]87-jp leg , the bottom of [his]87-jp shorts tickling [my]0-i nose , [I]0-i say , [You]87-jp ’re not getting away from [me]0-i , [sir]2771-sir . No way . [You]87-jp will talk to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Let go . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp places [his]87-jp hand on the wall for balance and shakes harder . “ Never ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i cry out . “ If [you]87-jp want [me]0-i off [you]87-jp , [you]87-jp ’re going to have to pry [me]0-i off . ”[0-i] Bad choice of words , because the next thing [I]0-i know , [he]87-jp reaches down and plucks at [my]0-i fingers . [I]0-i swat [him]87-jp away . [He]87-jp swats at [my]0-i hand . [I]0-i swat back . [He]87-jp swats again . [I]0-i open [my]0-i mouth and start chomping at [his]87-jp hand to scare [him]87-jp away . That does the trick because the swatting ends and [I]0-i resume [my]0-i lethal grip . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , seriously , let the fuck go . ”[0-i] [You]89-kelsey have no idea who [you]89-kelsey ’re dealing with . [I]87-jp have no problem claiming [squatter]3252-squatter ’s rights on [your]89-kelsey leg . [I]87-jp have nowhere to be all night . It ’s just [you]89-kelsey and [me]87-jp , [bub]3253-bub , so it ’s [your]89-kelsey choice . [You]89-kelsey either come talk to [me]87-jp , or [you]89-kelsey spend [your]89-kelsey evening with [me]87-jp attached to [your]89-kelsey foot . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp looks down at [me]0-i , looks up at [[his]87-jp room]557-his room , and then , to [my]0-i chagrin , [he]87-jp starts dragging [me]0-i along the floor . [He]87-jp ca n’t possibly be serious . [JP]87-jp , [I]87-jp demand [you]87-jp stop at once . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp does n’t . [He]87-jp keeps walking , [me]0-i dragging behind [him]87-jp . “ Stop this insanity , ”[87-jp] [I]0-i call out . “ Just talk to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] Drag . Drag . . . . drag . Frustration consumes [me]0-i , [my]0-i ears heat to boiling levels , and [I]0-i can feel the anger start to take over . [I]0-i tried to be nice about this . [I]0-i attempted a smooth conversation . Yes , [I]0-i had to resort to becoming an actual ball and chain , but now . . . oh now , [I]0-i ’m getting upset . Keeping one hand planted on the leg that ’s dragging [me]0-i , [I]0-i reach for [his]87-jp other leg but miss by a long shot . In a horrible attempt to grasp anything so [I]0-i do n’t lose [him]87-jp to a full - out sprint when [he]87-jp shakes free of [me]0-i , [my]0-i fingers curl around the fabric of [his]87-jp shorts . [I]0-i do n’t really register that [I]0-i have shorts in [my]0-i hand . All [I]0-i know is that [I]0-i have a hold of something and it ’s time to pull . That ’s exactly what [I]0-i do . [I]0-i yank on [his]87-jp shorts so hard that [he]87-jp stumbles forward , and because [I]0-i ’m holding on to [his]87-jp other leg , [he]87-jp ca n’t catch [his]87-jp balance . [Ladies and gentlemen]1141-ladies and gentlemen , this is where things go terribly , terribly wrong . It happens in slow motion . [I]0-i ’m unable to completely process what ’s going to occur as everything else fades away and the only sound is the long , drawn - out noise of [JP]87-jp saying , “ What . . . the . . . fuuuuuuck ? ”[87-jp] It was never [my]0-i intention to anger [him]87-jp more , nor was it [my]0-i intention to cause [him]87-jp to fall . But [I]0-i accomplished both things . . . whilst pantsing [him]87-jp at the same time . Yup , just like that , with a slight yank , those elastic - banded shorts of [his]87-jp slide right off [his]87-jp narrow hips and down [his]87-jp legs , causing [him]87-jp to stumble even more . [I]0-i cry out in horror because , good God , there are loose shorts in [my]0-i hand . Which only means . . . Please let [him]87-jp be wearing underwear . Please let [him]87-jp be wearing underwear . [He]87-jp dances above [me]0-i , attempting to gain balance . [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut out of pure self - preservation . [I]0-i twist . [He]87-jp turns . [He]87-jp jumps . [I]0-i clutch . And then , with a big crash to the floor , [he]87-jp falls on top of [me]0-i , pillowing [my]0-i face with what [I]0-i can only assume is [his]87-jp stomach . “ Jesus fuck , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . [I]0-i open [my]0-i eyes and come face to face with [man scrotum]1142-man scrotum . [A man]2703-a man ’s freaking scrotum ! “ Ahhh ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i scream and swat at [his]87-jp leg . [Your]87-jp penis is on [my]0-i face . [Your]87-jp penis is on [my]0-i face . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp know . Fuck , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp yells , attempting to get off [me]0-i . “ Where is [your]87-jp underwear ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i do n’t wear underwear at night . ”[0-i] “ Dear God ! It ’s on [my]0-i nose ! [Your]87-jp genitals are resting on [my]0-i freaking nose ! ”[0-i] [I]87-jp fucking know ! ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp yells back . “ But [I]87-jp ca n’t get up because [you]0-i ’re still holding on to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’ve been tea - bagged , ”[0-i] [I]0-i cry out in horror , [his]87-jp penis still rubbing along [my]0-i nostrils . “ Let the fuck GO , [KELSEY]89-kelsey ! ”[0-i] As if [I]0-i finally realize what ’s happening , [I]0-i release all [my]0-i limbs and [he]87-jp climbs off [me]0-i . [I]0-i scramble up against the wall and hold [my]0-i hand — still clutching [his]87-jp shorts — in front of [my]0-i face . [I]0-i ’ve been defiled . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’ve been defiled ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp retorts . [I]87-jp ’m [the one who ’s been stripped bare]3254-the one who ’s been stripped bare . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp yanks the shorts from [my]0-i grasp and [I]0-i hear [him]87-jp scurry around , putting them on . When [I]0-i think [the coast]1144-the coast is clear , [I]0-i part [my]0-i fingers to see if [he]87-jp ’s decent . [I]0-i ’m met with a very angry stare . Menacing , to be precise . Some might actually say . . . * gulp * sinister . [I]0-i attempt a smile , but it falls flat . [I]0-i lift [my]0-i finger to speak , but [he]87-jp cuts [me]0-i off . “ Let ’s get one thing straight , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [I]87-jp ’m not here to be friends with [you]89-kelsey , nor am [I]87-jp here to try to solve any sort of complex [you]89-kelsey might have about not being liked . [I]87-jp ’m here to do a job and [I]87-jp ’d prefer [you]89-kelsey just leave [me]87-jp alone . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp turns away , pushes [his]87-jp hand through [his]87-jp hair , and mutters , “ Christ , ”[87-jp] right before [he]87-jp slams [his]87-jp door . Well . . . that did n’t go as planned .

* * *

[Lottie]89-kelsey : How did it go ? Are things good with [[you]1145-you two]3018-you two ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i tricked [him]87-jp with a gas scare , got [him]87-jp out of [[his]87-jp room]557-his room , then flung [my]0-i body onto [his]87-jp leg . [He]87-jp proceeded to drag [me]0-i across [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . In [my]0-i attempt to stop [him]87-jp , [I]0-i yanked [his]87-jp shorts down , tripped [him]87-jp up , and [his]87-jp penis landed on [my]0-i face . To sum it up , [I]0-i would say things are not going well . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [His]87-jp penis was on [your]0-i face ? Call [me]0-i crazy , but that ’s a typical Friday night for [me]0-i and [Hux]141-hux . Seems like things are going swimmingly . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i hate [you]0-i .

Chapter Ten

JP

[You]0-i know , maybe [we]3255-we should discuss what [we]3255-we ’re going to say in the meeting , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as [she]89-kelsey fidgets next to [me]0-i in [the car]887-the car . Last night was . . . hell , [I]0-i do n’t even know how to describe what happened last night . If [I]0-i was n’t so irritated , [I]0-i might have actually found it comical . But [my]0-i irritation turned into anger as [I]0-i lay in bed because for the fucking life of [me]0-i , [I]0-i could n’t get the feeling of [her]89-kelsey exasperated breath blowing on [my]0-i nuts . That breath was the most action [I]0-i ’ve received in months . It tingled . Felt good . And before [I]0-i knew it , [I]0-i was jacking off in the shower over the goddamn fact that [she]89-kelsey breathed on [my]0-i scrotum . [I]0-i ’m so desperate and horny that [I]0-i actually liked it . Let [me]0-i tell [you]1150-you something , the stark realization of that — of understanding that [you]1150-you ’re such [a lonely bastard]1151-a lonely bastard that [a woman]3073-a woman ’s breath on [your]1150-you junk gets [you]1150-you horny — is incredibly unsettling and , frankly , pathetic . And yet , there [I]0-i was last night , hammering away on [my]0-i dick because , if [I]0-i had n’t , [I]0-i would n’t have been able to get any sleep . [I]0-i woke up this morning , unable to think any less of [myself]0-i . In an attempt to lift [my]0-i self - esteem , [I]0-i went to [the gym]621-the gym , stared at [myself]0-i in the mirror while doing bicep curls and listening to [Adele]176-adele — Easy on [Me]0-i — and recited affirmations in [my]0-i head . [You]1150-you are strong . [You]1150-you are handsome . [You]1150-you ’re not [a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation]1154-a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation . Once [I]0-i repeated that mantra over and over in [my]0-i head , [I]0-i went back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , opened [my]0-i computer , and donated ten thousand dollars to a pigeon rescue , because in all honesty , [I]0-i doubt [many people]1156-many people care about pigeons at all . From the combination of seeing [my]0-i biceps work in their pure form , [Adele]176-adele ’s uplifting voice , [my]0-i affirmations , and a solid donation . . . [I]0-i felt better about [myself]0-i and felt confident [I]0-i could face this day head - on . That was , until [Kelsey]89-kelsey appeared from [[her]89-kelsey room]1157-her room wearing a skintight pencil skirt , which hits just above [her]89-kelsey calves , and a black , sleeveless turtleneck . [She]89-kelsey smelled like a goddamn angel sent from above and looked like hell on heels with [her]89-kelsey voluptuous hair in waves hanging loosely over [her]89-kelsey shoulders . Fuck . [Me]0-i . The memory of the exhalation — that ’s what [we]1158-we ’ll call it now — came roaring back to life , and [I]0-i had to turn away to hide any impending excitement . [You]1159-you are strong . [You]1159-you are handsome . [You]1159-you ’re not [a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation]1154-a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation . That was on repeat the entire morning while [I]0-i moved around [Kelsey]89-kelsey , grabbing coffee and a protein bar while [she]89-kelsey made [herself]89-kelsey scrambled eggs , whole wheat toast , spinach , and oddly . . . black beans . [I]0-i ’ve never seen [anyone]377-anyone work so cleanly in [a kitchen]1162-a kitchen , nor have [I]0-i seen [someone]364-someone set out a complete place setting — placemat included — for breakfast . It was hard not to watch . After [her]89-kelsey breakfast spectacle , [we]1158-we made [our]1158-we way to [the lobby]1164-the lobby , where [a car]1165-a car was waiting for [us]1158-we , and now [we]1158-we ’re making [our]1158-we way through rush - hour traffic in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . “ Did [you]0-i hear [me]89-kelsey ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks , poking [me]0-i . [I]0-i glance at where [she]89-kelsey poked [me]0-i in the arm and then back at [my]0-i phone . [She]89-kelsey huffs in anger and turns toward [me]0-i , swatting [my]0-i phone out of [my]0-i hand . It falls to the floor of [the car]887-the car with a clunk . “ Hey — ”[89-kelsey] With [her]89-kelsey red - painted nail , [she]89-kelsey points very closely at [my]0-i face and leans in . “ Listen to [me]89-kelsey , [Jonathan Patrick Cane]177-jonathan patrick cane — ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s not [my]89-kelsey name . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey do n’t care if [your]89-kelsey name is [Junior Pooper]178-junior pooper , [you]89-kelsey ’re going to listen to [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] Do n’t laugh at [Junior Pooper]178-junior pooper , do not laugh . [I]89-kelsey ’m sick of [you]89-kelsey ignoring [me]89-kelsey . Let ’s call last night what it was , a total miss on [my]89-kelsey end . [I]89-kelsey ’ll take the blame for how things . . . panned out , but now [you]89-kelsey ’re just being cruel . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey ’m not being cruel . [I]89-kelsey just do n’t have anything to say to [you]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey always have something to say to [me]1167-she . Always . From the moment [I]1167-she freaking met [you]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey ’ve had something to say . [You]89-kelsey ’ve never stopped talking , nagging , prodding . [You]89-kelsey ’re constantly in [my]1167-she ear chattering about utter nonsense , and now , all of a sudden , [you]89-kelsey ’re going to stop ? When [we]3256-we have to spend two weeks together ? ”[1167-she] [She]1167-she shakes [her]1167-she head . “ Oh no , that ’s not how this is going to work . [I]1167-she would rather spend two weeks in [a penthouse]1000-a penthouse with [you]89-kelsey constantly aggravating [me]1167-she with [your]89-kelsey nonsensical drivel than this silent treatment [you]89-kelsey ’ve decided to try out . [You]89-kelsey might not think it ’s cruel , but it is . It ’s not fair to [me]1167-she . [You]89-kelsey wo n’t even let [me]1167-she apologize . ”[1167-she] “ Apologize for what ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ For [my]0-i presumption the night of the gala . What [I]0-i said was out of line , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [She]1167-she rests [her]1167-she hand on [my]0-i arm . [I]1167-she ’m sorry . [You]0-i were right , [you]0-i were being nice and [I]1167-she took it the wrong way . [I]1167-she never should ’ve made that kind of assumption about [you]0-i . [I]1167-she ’m sorry . ”[1167-she] Well . . . the apology is nice . Glad to see [she]1167-she does n’t believe [I]0-i ’m [a complete asshole]579-a complete asshole . But going back to the playful banter , the “ nagging , ”[1167-she] as [she]1167-she put it , [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i can do that . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i have it within [me]0-i to control [myself]0-i . Messing around with [her]1167-she has been a turn - on . Even when [we]1169-we ’re in full - on disagreement , [I]0-i love seeing the spark in [her]1167-she eyes , the way [she]1167-she huffs and puffs and tries to get [her]1167-she point across . [I]0-i love hearing [her]1167-she reasoning and watching as [her]1167-she chest gets blotchy with irritation . It ’s hot . And now that [we]1169-we ’re close to [each other]333-each other , there ’s no way [I]0-i ’ll be able to keep [my]0-i hands off [her]1167-she . [I]0-i know it . Especially after last night ’s humiliating revelation . No . [You]1171-you are strong . [You]1171-you are handsome . [You]1171-you ’re not a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation . “ Thank [you]1167-she for apologizing , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while fishing around for [my]0-i phone . Once [I]0-i find it , [I]0-i go back to [my]0-i emails . “ Uh . . . that ’s it ? Nothing else ? ”[0-i] “ What else do [you]1167-she want [me]653-the driver to say ? ”[653-the driver] [I]653-the driver do n’t know — make a joke about how [I]653-the driver tickled [your]653-the driver balls ? ”[653-the driver] [The driver]653-the driver ’s eyes flash to the rearview mirror quickly before focusing on [the road]586-the road again . Wanting to clarify things , [I]0-i lean forward and say to [the driver]653-the driver , [She]1167-she did n’t tickle [my]0-i balls . [She]1167-she breathed on them . ”[0-i] “ Not on purpose ! ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey practically shouts as [she]89-kelsey leans forward as well , gripping [the driver]653-the driver ’s seat . [He]3258-he fell on [my]89-kelsey face . ”[89-kelsey] “ After [she]1167-she pantsed [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ It ’s not [my]89-kelsey fault [you]653-the driver were n’t wearing underwear . How was [I]89-kelsey supposed to know that ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Either way , [you]653-the driver should n’t have been pulling on [my]0-i shorts , unless . . . that was [your]653-the driver plan all along . Trying to get [me]0-i naked to sit on [your]653-the driver face . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back and slowly clap . “ Wow , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , job well done . ”[0-i] [Her]89-kelsey head whips toward [me]0-i and [her]89-kelsey nostrils flare . Ahh , there they are . [I]0-i missed them . [You]653-the driver know damn well [my]0-i intention was n’t to get [you]653-the driver naked to sit on [my]0-i face . [I]0-i could n’t imagine a more grotesque situation . ”[0-i] “ Did n’t seem to mind it last night , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , going back to [my]0-i phone . [She]89-kelsey swats it out of [my]0-i hand again . “ Hey , stop doing that . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey did not enjoy [your]653-the driver balls on [my]89-kelsey face . [I]89-kelsey specifically remember screaming and telling [you]653-the driver to get off [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , as [you]653-the driver held [me]89-kelsey down . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey turns back to [the driver]653-the driver , who has remained silent this entire time . What [I]0-i would n’t pay to be inside [his]653-the driver head right now . [I]0-i did not hold [him]653-the driver down . [I]0-i was flustered and did n’t know what was happening . When [I]0-i realized what was on [my]0-i face , [I]0-i got up immediately . [I]0-i just want [you]653-the driver to know [I]0-i ’m not [the kind of girl who enjoys balls on [her]89-kelsey face]3259-the kind of girl who enjoys balls on her face . ”[0-i] “ Such a shame , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [She]89-kelsey growls out a frustrated noise and folds [her]89-kelsey arms over [her]89-kelsey chest as [she]89-kelsey sits back in [her]89-kelsey seat . “ Why do [I]89-kelsey even bother talking to [you]653-the driver ? [You]653-the driver ’re so infuriating . ”[89-kelsey] “ Beats [me]0-i . [You]653-the driver ’re [the one who did n’t want the silent treatment]3260-the one who did n’t want the silent treatment , so this is [your]653-the driver choice . ”[0-i] [I]0-i locate [my]0-i phone and , when [she]89-kelsey goes to swat it again , [I]0-i hold it close to [my]0-i chest . “ Nice try . ”[0-i] Just then , [her]89-kelsey phone rings in [her]89-kelsey purse and [she]89-kelsey quickly brings it into view . [She]89-kelsey glances at [me]0-i . “ It ’s [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[89-kelsey] “ Put it on speaker . ”[89-kelsey] Looking at [me]0-i with murder weapons as eyes , [she]89-kelsey says , [I]89-kelsey swear to [God]92-god , [JP]87-jp , if [you]87-jp bring up the balls on the face thing with [him]87-jp , [I]89-kelsey ’ll legit haunt [you]87-jp in [your]87-jp sleep . Do [you]87-jp understand [me]89-kelsey ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , even though [I]0-i would n’t say anything to [the boys]598-the boys . [I]0-i did n’t tell [them]598-the boys last night what happened , did n’t think it was appropriate . Putting on a smile — as if [he]1178-he can see [her]89-kelsey[she]89-kelsey answers the phone , “ Good morning , [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[89-kelsey] Wow , what a transformation , from a [she]1179-she - devil to [Delightful Diane]179-delightful diane . Who knew [she]89-kelsey was capable of such a metamorphosis ? “ Good morning , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [I]1178-he have [you]89-kelsey on speakerphone so [JP]87-jp can hear [you]89-kelsey . [We]3261-we ’re on [our]3261-we way to the meeting right now . ”[1178-he] [I]1180-i take it [you]3261-we two have settled in since the activities of last night ? ”[1180-i] “ Oh my God , [JP]87-jp , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , looking at [me]0-i . [You]0-i told [[your]0-i brother]2724-your brother that [your]0-i penis landed on [my]89-kelsey face ? ”[89-kelsey] Oh , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . [He]1180-i was not talking about that . [I]0-i ca n’t hold back [my]0-i smile . [I]0-i held it together with [Junior Pooper]178-junior pooper , but this , nope , [I]0-i have to smile , because [she]89-kelsey just gave [herself]89-kelsey away . “ What ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley growls . [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s eyes widen as [her]89-kelsey cheeks flush to a gorgeous shade of pink . [I]0-i did n’t tell [him]1180-i anything . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smirk . “ But [you]0-i just did . ”[0-i] “ Oh , [dear God]3263-dear god , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey whispers . “ What ’s going on ? [JP]87-jp , if [you]87-jp fuck with [her]89-kelsey , [I]89-kelsey ’m going to — ”[89-kelsey] “ No , nothing happened , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey quickly says . “ It was just a , uh , scramble , and then [we]3264-we tripped on [each other]333-each other , and [I]89-kelsey really mean that , not like , ‘ Oops [I]89-kelsey tripped and fell on [his]1180-i penis , [my]89-kelsey bad . ’ [I]89-kelsey swear , this was just an unfortunate incident and it was quickly rectified with screaming , yelling , and swatting . There ’s no funny business between [us]3264-we . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey ’s correct , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Nothing is going on , and trust [me]0-i , nothing will be going on . [You]89-kelsey do n’t have to worry about that . ”[0-i] “ Good . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey tell [me]0-i if [he]3266-he does try to make a move . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i was [the innocent]1181-the innocent in all of this . [I]0-i did n’t ask [her]1182-her to strip [my]0-i pants off and breathe on [my]0-i scrotum . . . Oh , hell . [Her]1182-her hot breath . . . dancing across [my]0-i nuts . . . [You]1183-you are strong . [You]1183-you are handsome . [You]1183-you ’re not [a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation]1154-a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation . [He]3266-he ’s been nothing but professional . Do n’t worry . Just forget [I]1154-a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation even mentioned it . Anyway , [we]3267-we ’re on [our]3267-we way to the meeting . ”[1154-a pathetic loser who jacks off to a simple exhalation] “ Good . [Edison]164-edison will meet with [the both of [you]3268-the both of you]3268-the both of you , along with [[our]3267-we general contractor]3269-our general contractor , [Regis]180-regis . [He]180-regis ’s new , [JP]87-jp . [I]1182-her ’ve heard mixed reviews on [the man]355-the man , so keep an eye on [him]355-the man . ”[1182-her] “ Then why the hell did [you]1182-her hire [him]355-the man ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Time . [Darius]181-darius could n’t squeeze [us]3267-we in . But [Regis]180-regis has done beautiful work around [the city]3271-the city , so that ’s why [we]3267-we hired [him]355-the man . ”[0-i] “ Has [everyone]2734-everyone signed an NDA ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Yes . [Edison]164-edison has some details to go over before [you]0-i walk [the property]410-the property . Since [he]164-edison has experience in renovating [historic buildings in [the area]686-the area]3274-historic buildings in the area , [I]0-i asked [him]164-edison to be a voice while going through the plans . [He]164-edison has no problem doing that . Did [you]0-i get the renovation plans that [I]0-i emailed last night ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [I]0-i ’m assuming [you]0-i sent [them]3276-them to [Regis]180-regis as well ? ”[0-i] “ Correct , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley answers . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]90-huxley sent them to [you]89-kelsey as well . [I]90-huxley want [you]89-kelsey to insert [your]89-kelsey input like [you]89-kelsey have for the rest of [[our]3277-we buildings]3278-our buildings . [I]90-huxley know this is new to [you]89-kelsey , starting from scratch , but [I]90-huxley think it ’s important to have [you]89-kelsey there to oversee [our]3277-we plans for sustainability . [Karla]165-karla also scheduled meetings for [you]89-kelsey around [town]652-town with [the other buildings that]3280-the other buildings that [we]3277-we own , did [you]89-kelsey see that ? ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i did . [I]0-i ’m assuming [you]89-kelsey want [me]0-i to walk through [them]3280-the other buildings that , speak with [the office managers]3281-the office managers , and organize like [I]0-i ’ve been doing in [Los Angeles]24-los angeles ? ”[0-i] “ Correct . [You]89-kelsey have a busy two weeks . Hope [you]89-kelsey ’re up for it . ”[0-i] [I]89-kelsey am , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says with excitement . [JP]87-jp , plan a meeting with [the mayor]3168-the mayor . Tell [him]3168-the mayor exactly what [we]3277-we plan on doing . [He]3168-the mayor ’s been wary of [us]3277-we coming into [[his]3168-the mayor city]3283-his city , but if [he]3168-the mayor sees what [we]3277-we stand for , it might help for future bids . When [I]89-kelsey said [we]3277-we were lucky to get [the Angelica Building]3284-the angelica building , [I]89-kelsey was n’t fucking lying . If done right , this could be huge for [us]3277-we . [We]3277-we ’ve been involved in restoration for a few years now , but nothing of this magnitude . Mixing the old with the new could put [us]3277-we at the top of the game . ”[89-kelsey] “ Well , [I]89-kelsey ’m excited . [I]89-kelsey think it ’s an awesome plan , preserving the brilliance of the old - school architecture , but also combining today ’s trends to help with costs , as well as making positive changes to help [our]3277-we environment . It ’s a worthwhile combination , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says . [I]89-kelsey ’ve been doing research on the structure and identity of [the Angelica]27-the angelica and [I]89-kelsey already have a ton of ideas . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t wait to walk through them all . ”[89-kelsey] “ Good . Do [you]3277-we two have any questions ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey do n’t think so , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as [she]89-kelsey looks over at [me]0-i . [I]0-i just shake [my]0-i head . “ Seems like [we]3277-we ’re good . Thanks for calling , [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[89-kelsey] “ Anytime . If [you]0-i need anything , ask [JP]87-jp . That ’s why [he]87-jp ’s [there]2954-there , to help [you]0-i out . ”[89-kelsey] “ Okay , thanks . ”[89-kelsey]

[They]1185-they exchange goodbyes and then [she]89-kelsey hangs up the phone . [She]89-kelsey crosses one leg over the other in that skintight pencil skirt , turns toward [me]0-i , and says , “ Hear that , [JP]87-jp ? [You]87-jp ’re here to help [me]89-kelsey out . ”[89-kelsey]

[Your]89-kelsey point ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask with a brow raised in [her]89-kelsey direction . “ Which means . . . no more ignoring [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ If [you]0-i have something productive to say or a well - thought - out question , [I]1186-the receptionist ’ll be more than happy to be at [your]0-i service . Anything other than that . . . just move along . ”[1186-the receptionist]

* * *

[Mr. Edison]182-edison will be right with [you]0-i , ”[1186-the receptionist] [the receptionist]1186-the receptionist says as [we]1187-we both take a seat on a terribly stiff couch . [Kelsey]89-kelsey glances around , but [I]0-i keep [my]0-i eyes trained on [my]0-i phone . [This place]2765-this place is . . . interesting , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says . “ Is that a chair in the shape of a hand over there ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yup , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say without having to look up . [I]0-i know exactly which chair [she]1186-the receptionist ’s talking about . [I]0-i sat in [it]1188-it once and it was incredibly uncomfortable . [Edison]182-edison believes [he]182-edison has a refined palate when it comes to interior design . When in fact , [he]182-edison has zero taste . Wait until [you]0-i see [his]182-edison desk . It ’s one giant Rubik ’s Cube . ”[0-i] “ That ’s . . . interesting . ”[1186-the receptionist] “ One way to put it . ”[0-i] The door that [I]0-i know leads into [[Edison]182-edison ’s office]1189-edison ’s office opens , and [the balding , tubby man]1190-the balding , tubby man waddles over to [us]1191-us . Dressed in a pair of brown - and - orange plaid shorts and a green suit jacket , [he]1190-the balding , tubby man reads more like [an absolute imbecile]1192-an absolute imbecile than [a serious real estate agent]1193-a serious real estate agent . But [he]1190-the balding , tubby man ’s completed some important business deals for [us]1191-us , so [we]1191-us keep coming back , despite [his]1190-the balding , tubby man eccentricities . When [he]1190-the balding , tubby man looks up and spots [me]0-i , a large smile spans across [his]1190-the balding , tubby man face . [JP Cane]87-jp , [[you]87-jp old bastard]3287-you old bastard . How the hell are [ya]87-jp ? ”[1190-the balding , tubby man] [He]1190-the balding , tubby man also has zero decorum . Standing along with [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i walk up to [him]1190-the balding , tubby man and shake [his]1190-the balding , tubby man hand . [Edison]182-edison , good to see [you]1190-the balding , tubby man . [I]1190-the balding , tubby man see [you]1190-the balding , tubby man ’re still unable to match a pair of slacks with a suit jacket . ”[1190-the balding , tubby man] [He]1190-the balding , tubby man lets out a boisterous laugh and says , “ Not all of [us]3288-us want to be caught up in a sea of black suits . [Some of [us]3288-us]3289-some of us like to be memorable . ”[1190-the balding , tubby man] “ Memorable , indeed , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with a smile , internally hating [myself]0-i . This side of [me]0-i ? It ’s the fake , business side . It ’s the reason [I]0-i ’m the “ face ”[0-i] of [the company]3158-the company , because when push comes to shove , [I]0-i can slap on a smile and lay on the charm . [I]0-i have . . . charisma , and it has definitely been needed to clean up [Huxley]90-huxley ’s messes caused by [his]1190-the balding , tubby man inability to mask [his]1190-the balding , tubby man irritation . [I]0-i ’m [the one clients]1195-the one clients and [partners]1196-partners want to take out , because [I]0-i know how to have a conversation that ’s equal parts business and fun . And yet , [Kelsey]89-kelsey thinks [I]0-i ’m [an asshole]2819-an asshole . Holding [his]1190-the balding , tubby man hand past [me]0-i , [Edison]182-edison says , [You]0-i must be [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey . ”[182-edison] “ Hello , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says politely while shaking [his]1190-the balding , tubby man hand . “ It ’s nice to meet [you]1190-the balding , tubby man , [Mr. Edison]182-edison . ”[86-kelsey] [Edison]182-edison is fine , [dear]1061-dear . No need to add [the mister]3291-the mister in front of it . [I]182-edison ’m sure [JP]87-jp could regale [you]1061-dear with stories of how such a formal title would not suit [me]182-edison and [my]182-edison personality . ”[182-edison] [I]0-i could , but [I]0-i ’ll save [you]1190-the balding , tubby man the embarrassment , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , patting [him]1190-the balding , tubby man on the back . [A kind man]3292-a kind man . ”[182-edison] [Edison]182-edison gestures to [[his]182-edison office]1198-his office . “ Please , come in . [Regis]180-regis said [he]180-regis ’d meet [us]1199-us at [the Angelica]3293-the angelica . ”[182-edison] [I]0-i place [my]0-i hand on [Kelsey]86-kelsey ’s lower back for some reason — who fucking knows why . [I]0-i expect [her]86-kelsey to pull away , but when [she]86-kelsey does n’t , [I]0-i continue to guide [her]86-kelsey until [we]1199-us ’re in [[his]1190-the balding , tubby man office]1198-his office . And what [an office]3143-an office [it]3143-an office is . [I]0-i ’ve never seen anything like [it]3143-an office . An interesting and bold combination of gaming and nerdery with posters of [Zelda]183-zelda on one wall and the periodic table of elements on another . Walking into [[his]1190-the balding , tubby man office]1198-his office , [you]1203-you would n’t think [a real estate agent]1204-a real estate agent — the top in [the city]3271-the city , to be precise — worked [here]2716-here . Not that [I]0-i ’d expect [him]1190-the balding , tubby man to have pictures of [buildings]1207-buildings lining [his]1190-the balding , tubby man walls , but there ’s a giant whisk — about three feet long — hanging behind [his]1190-the balding , tubby man Rubik ’s Cube desk . What ’s with the whisk ? Did [he]1190-the balding , tubby man just like it and decide to hang it up ? Is there sentimental value to the whisk ? Did [he]1190-the balding , tubby man win a whisking contest and that ’s the prize ? In the sitting area , there is a set of purple armchairs and a polka - dot loveseat surrounding a coffee table fish tank . . . with no fish in it , but rather , floating eyeglasses . See what [I]0-i ’m talking about ? [Weird - as - shit office]1208-weird - as - shit office . [I]0-i watch [Kelsey]86-kelsey as [she]86-kelsey takes in the space . “ Can [I]182-edison get [you]86-kelsey a drink ? ”[182-edison] [Edison]182-edison asks as [he]182-edison sits down in the chair closest to [Kelsey]86-kelsey . [He]182-edison watches [her]86-kelsey with delight as [she]86-kelsey continues to find new things about [[his]182-edison office]1198-his office . [I]86-kelsey ’m good , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says after a few seconds . [I]0-i ’m good , as well , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [Edison]182-edison , [[your]182-edison office]570-your office is so unique . ”[0-i] “ That ’s a nice way of putting it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , causing [Edison]182-edison to laugh . “ More like a garage sale for [misfits]3295-misfits . ”[0-i] “ Hey now , [you]0-i said [you]0-i liked the Zelda poster , ”[182-edison] [Edison]182-edison says with a pointed look . [I]0-i chuckle . [I]0-i did . [The teenage boy in [me]0-i]3296-the teenage boy in me was jealous when [I]0-i saw it . ”[0-i] “ Never too old to be prancing around [the forest]3297-the forest . ”[182-edison] [Edison]182-edison claps [his]182-edison hands together . “ Okay , [we]3298-we should get to work , or else [that brother of yours]3299-that brother of yours is going to have a conniption that [we]3298-we did n’t accomplish anything . ”[182-edison] “ Ca n’t have that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i dramatically roll [my]0-i eyes . “ First thing ’s first . . . [Regis]180-regis is n’t going to like working with [Kelsey]86-kelsey . ”[0-i] Uh , that ’s not what [I]0-i was expecting [him]182-edison to say . “ Why the hell not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [I]0-i see [Kelsey]86-kelsey shift uncomfortably next to [me]0-i . [Edison]182-edison crosses one leg over the other and says , [I]182-edison ’ve worked with [him]182-edison a few times . [He]182-edison ’s [a great guy]3300-a great guy , does amazing work , but when it comes to renovations , [he]182-edison has a certain esthetic . [He]182-edison likes things done [his]182-edison way , and sustainability is n’t in [[his]182-edison wheelhouse]3301-his wheelhouse . ”[182-edison] “ Did [Huxley]90-huxley know this when [he]182-edison hired [him]182-edison ? ”[86-kelsey] [I]86-kelsey warned [him]182-edison . [He]182-edison said [you]86-kelsey ’d be able to handle it . ”[86-kelsey] “ Of course [he]182-edison did . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back on the couch , draping [my]0-i arm behind [Kelsey]86-kelsey , and say , “ What kind of trouble are [we]3302-we talking here ? How much grief will this cause ? ”[0-i] “ Enough to make [you]86-kelsey want to go back to [Los Angeles]24-los angeles . ”[182-edison] [Edison]182-edison cringes . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mutter . “ Hold on , it might not be that bad , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says . [I]86-kelsey can be quite agreeable and accommodating . [I]86-kelsey think [we]3302-we need to give [Regis]180-regis the benefit of the doubt first . [He]180-regis does n’t know what [my]86-kelsey plans are and [I]86-kelsey do n’t know what [his]180-regis plans are , so maybe [we]3302-we go into this blind and just see how it goes . ”[86-kelsey] Spoken like [a true rookie]1210-a true rookie .

* * *

[Regis]180-regis stares , unblinking . It does n’t take [a mind reader]1211-a mind reader to know exactly what [he]180-regis ’s thinking . [He]180-regis DESPISES [Kelsey]86-kelsey . Let [me]0-i paint a picture for [you]1212-you . [Regis Stallone]180-regis , born and bred Italian , straight from [New Jersey]28-new jersey [with a heavy accent and a no - bullshit attitude]1213-with a heavy accent and a no - bullshit attitude , is decked out in worn , paint - splattered jeans , a Henley top , construction vest , and a dented construction hat . [His]180-regis mustache has more character than [the two assistants [he]180-regis brought along with [him]180-regis]1214-the two assistants he brought along with him , and the tape measure that [he]180-regis keeps snapping up and down is [his]180-regis frustration meter . The more [he]180-regis opens it and snaps it shut , the closer and closer [he]180-regis ’s getting to lashing out . [Kelsey]86-kelsey , charming , yet naïve Kelsey , in [her]86-kelsey high heels , pencil skirt , and skintight top , has come in hot with design ideas that have been approved in [previous buildings of ours]1215-previous buildings of ours but from the look on [Regis]180-regis ’s face , have no business being tossed around in the Angelica . Which , according to [Regis]180-regis , was designed to proclaim [its]1216-its intricate architecture , not save [the earth]3215-the earth . Then there ’s [me]0-i and [Edison]182-edison , standing between [them]1218-them , watching [them]1218-them volley ideas back and forth . Currently , [we]1219-we ’re on the topic of windows . “ Do [you]86-kelsey realize how old these windows are ? ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis asks . “ These are casement windows , very rare . [You]86-kelsey ca n’t possibly replace them . ”[180-regis] “ But do n’t [you]86-kelsey see ? [They]3303-they ca n’t even swing all the way open due to building code , and because [they]3303-they ’re original to [the building]3134-the building , [they]3303-they do n’t have any insulation , meaning [they]3303-they have zero energy efficiency . ”[182-edison] [You]86-kelsey ca n’t possibly be proposing to remove all of them ? ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey nods with gusto . [I]180-regis am . [I]180-regis ’ve already written it in [my]180-regis notes . ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis grows even more furious . “ And what do [you]86-kelsey suppose [you]86-kelsey do with the windows ? Toss them in a landfill ? How sustainable is that ? ”[180-regis] Ooh , [he]180-regis has [Kelsey]86-kelsey on that one . “ Actually , ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey says while flipping [her]86-kelsey notepad around , [I]86-kelsey was going to suggest that [we]3305-we refurbish them and use them throughout [the building]3134-the building . Since [they]3303-they ’re looking to make this into [apartment buildings]3307-apartment buildings , [you]3308-you can fashion the old windows as room dividers in [the individual apartments]3309-the individual apartments , or in [the common spaces]3310-the common spaces like in [the laundry room]3311-the laundry room . [I]86-kelsey ’d never suggest [we]3305-we toss anything into [a landfill]3312-a landfill . As a matter of fact , [I]86-kelsey believe [I]86-kelsey ’ll talk to [Huxley]90-huxley about an approval process . Nothing is tossed without [our]3305-we permission . ”[86-kelsey] Okay . . . okay . Point for [Kelsey]86-kelsey . “ Do [you]86-kelsey understand the cost of replacing all these windows ? These casings are n’t standard size . ”[86-kelsey] “ Do [you]86-kelsey understand the type of impact [we]3305-we ’ll have if [we]3305-we do change them ? The energy costs for [the entire building]3313-the entire building ? Actually , can [you]86-kelsey add installing a geothermal system for heat to [your]86-kelsey list ? That will definitely cut costs on energy . ”[180-regis] “ And where do [you]86-kelsey suppose [we]3305-we dig for a geothermal system ? If [you]86-kelsey have n’t noticed , [we]3305-we ’re in [the middle of [the city]3271-the city]3314-the middle of the city . [Jesus Christ]3316-jesus christ . ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis then looks at [me]0-i and says , “ JP , a word . ”[180-regis] [He]180-regis walks away and [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m about to be on the receiving end of a rant . Just what [I]0-i fucking want . [I]0-i start to walk after [him]180-regis when [Kelsey]86-kelsey tugs on [my]0-i hand . “ When [he]180-regis ’s done having a word , [I]86-kelsey ’d like to have a word as well . ”[86-kelsey] “ About what ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , noticing the trend already . [Middle man]1220-middle man . Fucking perfect . “ About what [he]180-regis ’s going to complain to [you]86-kelsey about . [I]1220-middle man need to know what [he]180-regis ’s saying about [me]1220-middle man . ”[1220-middle man] “ Paranoid much ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [You]86-kelsey know it ’s about [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [Her]86-kelsey eyes grow worried . “ And if [someone]364-someone ’s trying to get [me]86-kelsey fired , [I]86-kelsey ’d like to know why . ”[86-kelsey] [I]0-i think [you]86-kelsey know why . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move away from [her]86-kelsey and join [Regis]180-regis in [the other room]1221-the other room . But when [he]180-regis starts talking — [I]0-i mean yelling — [I]0-i know [I]0-i wo n’t need a second conversation with [Kelsey]86-kelsey , because given how thin these old walls are , [she]86-kelsey ’ll hear everything . [You]0-i ca n’t be fucking serious with this sustainable crap , ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis starts . “ This is [a historic building]3318-a historic building , so [you]0-i ca n’t strip [it]3318-a historic building down and make [it]3318-a historic building modern . Activists for [the historic buildings in [this city]3320-this city]3319-the historic buildings in this city will have a field day with this , and [I]180-regis ’m telling [you]0-i right now , if [I]180-regis had n’t signed an NDA , [I]180-regis ’d be headed to one of [their]3319-the historic buildings in this city meetings to let [them]3319-the historic buildings in this city know the kind of asinine ideas that [woman out there]3321-woman out there has . ”[180-regis] [I]0-i put on [my]0-i “ face of [the company]3158-the company[0-i] pants and gently say , [I]0-i understand [your]180-regis concerns about the integrity of [the building]3134-the building , [Regis]180-regis . And [we]3324-we ’re just as concerned as [you]180-regis are . Preserving the history within these walls is just as vital to [us]3324-we as it is to [you]180-regis . But [you]180-regis need to know something . [Kelsey]86-kelsey is [[my]0-i colleague]3325-my colleague , and [I]0-i will not tolerate [you]180-regis talking about [her]86-kelsey like that . [She]86-kelsey deserves just as much respect as [the next person [you]180-regis work with]3326-the next person you work with . In addition , [she]86-kelsey ’s right . If [we]3324-we ’re going to open [this building]3190-this building up to [the public]3328-the public for the first time in over thirty years , [we]3324-we need to do it right . [We]3324-we need to make sure [we]3324-we meet today ’s needs with yesterday ’s intricate designs . Compromise , [man]3096-man , okay ? ”[0-i] “ There ’s no possible way [we]3324-we can do a geothermal heating system . [I]180-regis ’ll cave on the windows if they ’re being utilized elsewhere , but the heating system ca n’t physically be done . ”[180-regis] “ Okay , then maybe [we]3324-we can come up with another solution . [I]0-i know this is [our]3324-we first time working together , but this is n’t [Kelsey]86-kelsey ’s first time working with [us]3324-we . [We]3324-we value [her]86-kelsey opinion and ideas and [I]0-i need [you]180-regis to do the same , or else [we]3324-we ’ll have to find [someone else who can see [our]3324-we vision]3330-someone else who can see our vision . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grip [Regis]180-regis on the shoulder . “ And [you]180-regis wo n’t want to miss out on working with [us]3324-we , especially with the kinds of plans [we]3324-we have for the future . Got it ? ”[0-i] [Regis]180-regis ’s mustache twitches as [he]180-regis nods . [He]180-regis ’s capitulating , but [I]0-i know it ’s only temporary . The next two weeks will be a living nightmare when it comes to managing [this man]2781-this man . This is why [Huxley]90-huxley is in charge of this shit . [We]1223-we move back to [the living room]2689-the living room . [Kelsey]86-kelsey is standing by [herself]86-kelsey , while [Edison]182-edison is off in the corner , talking quietly on the phone . When [she]86-kelsey looks up and makes eye contact with [me]0-i , there ’s relief in [her]86-kelsey expression . There ’s no doubt [she]86-kelsey heard that entire conversation and it looks as if [we]1223-we ’ll need to figure out how to make these walls a lot thicker . [I]0-i think [we]1223-we ’ve done enough talking for today , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [We]1223-we ’ve walked [the building]3134-the building ; [we]1223-we ’ve taken notes . How about [you]1223-we both write up [your]1223-we ideas according to [Huxley]90-huxley ’s plans , how [we]1223-we can get it done , and then [we]1223-we can reconvene sometime in the next couple of days ? ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis sticks [his]180-regis pencil behind [his]180-regis ear and then shakes [my]0-i hand . To [my]0-i surprise , [he]180-regis does the same for [Kelsey]86-kelsey . [I]0-i might hate this goddamn job , but it sure as hell looks like [I]0-i ’m good at it .

* * *

The car door shuts behind [me]0-i and [Kelsey]86-kelsey quicky swivels in [her]86-kelsey seat , gratefulness spread all over [her]86-kelsey face . [JP]87-jp , [I]0-i ca n’t tell [you]87-jp how thankful [I]0-i am that [you]87-jp stuck up for [me]0-i when speaking with [Regis]180-regis . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stick [my]0-i phone in [my]0-i suit pocket and buckle [myself]0-i in . “ It was no big deal . ”[86-kelsey] [She]86-kelsey rests [her]86-kelsey hand on [my]0-i thigh , drawing [my]0-i attention . And because [I]0-i ’m [a weak man]1225-a weak man , [my]0-i mind goes right back to yesterday . [My]0-i junk on [her]86-kelsey face . . . [Her]86-kelsey breath . . . Jesus Christ , [man]3096-man ! “ It was a big deal to [me]86-kelsey , [JP]87-jp , ”[86-kelsey] [she]86-kelsey says . [I]86-kelsey know the last thing [you]87-jp probably wanted was to play [the middle man]3332-the middle man between [me]86-kelsey and [Regis]180-regis , but [I]86-kelsey heard what [you]87-jp said to [him]180-regis and it truly meant a lot to [me]86-kelsey . [I]86-kelsey ’m not sure [you]87-jp know how important it was that [you]87-jp did it . ”[86-kelsey] “ Seriously , [Kelsey]86-kelsey , it was no big deal . ”[86-kelsey] “ No , [you]87-jp need to hear this . ”[86-kelsey] [She]86-kelsey pushes [her]86-kelsey hair behind [her]86-kelsey ear , exposing the column of [her]86-kelsey neck . [I]0-i fight the urge to curl [my]0-i fingers around [her]86-kelsey nape and bring [her]86-kelsey in closer . [You]86-kelsey set the tone . Moving forward , hopefully , [Regis]180-regis will know that [you]86-kelsey honor [my]0-i ideas . [You]86-kelsey established this is teamwork and not just a project run by [men]2682-men . [I]0-i owe [you]86-kelsey , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [You]86-kelsey owe [me]0-i nothing , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , looking out the window now . [Kelsey]86-kelsey has been working with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises for several months now , and [she]86-kelsey ’s proven [herself]86-kelsey to [Huxley]90-huxley , [Breaker]97-breaker , and [me]0-i . [She]86-kelsey works hard and [she]86-kelsey ’s knowledgeable , not [a lofty plant hugger]1227-a lofty plant hugger without specific and wise goals . [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises has a reputation — is respected for quality — and there ’s no way in hell [we]1228-we ’d align [ourselves]1228-we with anything or anyone [we]1228-we did n’t believe saw [our]1228-we vision . Today was n’t about simply “ saving ”[86-kelsey] [Kelsey]86-kelsey , but ensuring [we]1228-we have [a team]1229-a team that works cohesively . Surely , [she]86-kelsey knows that by now . “ If it was [Huxley]90-huxley or [Breaker]97-breaker , [they]3334-they would ’ve done the same exact thing . [We]1228-we protect [[our]1228-we company]3335-our company , [you]86-kelsey ’re a part of that , therefore , [I]86-kelsey protected [you]86-kelsey today . Do n’t think anything of it . ”[86-kelsey] “ Okay , well , for what it ’s worth , thank [you]86-kelsey . ”[184-quietly] [Quietly]184-quietly , [I]0-i say , [You]1232-you ’re welcome . ”[0-i]

Chapter Eleven

[KELSEY]86-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Arlo]185-arlo and [Greer Kelsey]186-greer : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]1228-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Arlo]185-arlo and [Greer]186-greer , thank [you]1232-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , tell [us]1228-we how [you]1232-you met . [Greer]186-greer : Do [you]1232-you want to tell the story , or do [you]1232-you want [me]0-i to ? [Arlo]185-arlo : [I]0-i do n’t think [you]186-greer want [me]0-i to tell the story . [Greer]186-greer : Probably not . [You]1232-you ’ll most likely include details that [I]0-i do n’t want [everyone]2734-everyone to know . [Arlo]185-arlo : Details like . . . the [kitchen Island]1234-kitchen island ? [Greer]186-greer : Okay , okay , keep [your]1232-you mouth shut , [mister]1235-mister . [Arlo]185-arlo : Why do n’t [you]186-greer tell [her]1236-her about the stink smell . . . or the chipmunk voice . . . or the blue pee ? [Greer]186-greer : [I]0-i assure [you]1237-you , [Kelsey]186-greer , all three of those items are n’t related in any way to [the kitchen island]1238-the kitchen island or anything sexual , for that matter . [He]186-greer ’s referring to the pranks [I]0-i pulled on [him]186-greer . [Kelsey]186-greer : Pranks ? Oh , please , tell [me]0-i more . [Greer]186-greer : It all started when [I]0-i was hired to teach English at [the school [Arlo]185-arlo was teaching at]1239-the school arlo was teaching at . [He]185-arlo did n’t want to hire [me]0-i because [he]185-arlo thought [my]0-i way of teaching was too progressive for [his]185-arlo stuffy , old - school mentality . [Arlo]185-arlo : [She]1240-she used CliffsNotes and movies to portray the written word . [Greer]186-greer : Oh [my]0-i God , do [we]1241-we need to get into this now ? [Kelsey]186-greer : So , [I]0-i can see [[you]1241-we guys]2996-you guys hit it off really well at first . [Greer]186-greer : Not even close . [He]185-arlo was a hot prick in a cardigan . [We]1241-we hated [each other]333-each other . That ’s where the blue pee comes in . Sort of pranked [him]185-arlo a bit to get back at [him]185-arlo . [Arlo]185-arlo : [I]0-i seriously thought something was wrong with [me]0-i . Blue pee is n’t something [a guy]788-a guy should ever see in the urinal . [Greer]186-greer : But then , [he]185-arlo made this gesture — [he]185-arlo dressed up like [Jay Gatsby]187-jason on [my]0-i ‘ Dress like [a literary character]1245-a literary character ’ day and . . . well , it was the first step in the direction of falling for each other . [Arlo]185-arlo : It was hard not to try to impress [her]1246-her or to keep away from [her]1246-her , for that matter . And when [she]1246-her went out on a date with [someone else]2834-someone else , [I]0-i knew [I]0-i was being [a complete fool]1248-a complete fool and , if [I]0-i did n’t snatch [her]1246-her up right then and there , [I]0-i ’d regret it forever . [Greer]186-greer : [I]0-i ’m glad [he]185-arlo did , because [I]0-i ’ve never been more madly in love .

* * *

[Mom]101-mom : How is [San Francisco]21-san francisco , [honey]1249-honey ? [I]0-i have n’t been in years . [I]0-i ’m quite jealous . [I]0-i read [[my]0-i mom]1250-my mom ’s text message and smile as [I]0-i lie on [my]0-i stomach on [my]0-i bed and text [her]1250-my mom back . [Kelsey]186-greer : It ’s beautiful . [I]0-i have n’t been able to explore yet , but soon . Just walking around , though , smelling [the ocean]1251-the ocean , feeling the breeze . Makes [me]0-i want to move up here . [Mom]101-mom : Oh no , [you]186-greer do n’t . [No daughter of [mine]101-mom]1252-no daughter of mine is moving away from [me]0-i . [Kelsey]186-greer : Funny [you]101-mom say that after [you]101-mom were begging [Lottie]89-kelsey to move out . [Mom]101-mom : Move out , yes . Move away , no . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Ahh , [I]0-i see . [Mom]101-mom : And how is living with [JP]87-jp ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Can [you]101-mom not fish for information ? [I]0-i promise [you]101-mom , nothing is happening between [us]1253-us . Which reminds [me]0-i , [I]0-i left [my]0-i food in the microwave . [I]0-i need to get it . [Mom]101-mom : But [he]87-jp ’s so handsome . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Bye , [Mother]3075-mother . [I]0-i set [my]0-i phone down on [my]0-i bed and head toward [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , but pause . [I]0-i look at [myself]0-i in the mirror and scan [my]0-i outfit . [Joggers]188-joggers and a white tank top with no bra . Semi revealing , but not revealing enough , plus [JP]87-jp is n’t [home]2941-home . [He]87-jp went out somewhere . Nothing to worry about . [I]0-i ’m not going to change clothes to retrieve [my]0-i food from the microwave . [I]0-i head out of [[my]0-i room]1114-my room and down [the hall]705-the hall to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , debating if [I]0-i should start a new show , such a commitment , or find a movie that appeals to [me]0-i , also a commitment . If [I]0-i choose a show , that means [I]0-i have something to watch for — “ Errrrrrrrm . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause . What was that ? [I]0-i do n’t move . [I]0-i hold [my]0-i breath , waiting to hear the noise again . The way [the building]3134-the building is mapped out , [you]1261-you would n’t hear [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse on the other side , and [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m alone because [JP]87-jp said [he]87-jp was going out . So , does that mean . . . is [someone]364-someone in [here]2716-here ? [My]0-i heart pounds wildly in [my]0-i chest as [I]0-i creep forward , listening , waiting . . . “ Urggghhh . ”[0-i] There it is again . This time , the sound sends a chill down [my]0-i spine , and the hairs on the back of [my]0-i neck rise . That is n’t a normal building creaking sound . That ’s a sound that comes from [a human]1265-a human . Or [a suffering animal]1266-a suffering animal . Or [a suffering human]1267-a suffering human . Something is suffering . Creeping forward , [I]0-i try to stay as quiet as [I]0-i can so [I]0-i can locate the sound . “ Uhhhhhhhrrrrrr . ”[0-i] [My]0-i head snaps to the right , down [the hallway]1132-the hallway toward [[JP]87-jp ’s room]1269-jp ’s room . Since the only light on in [the main living space]1123-the main living space is in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , [I]0-i can see that there ’s no light showing through the crack under [JP]87-jp ’s door . So [he]87-jp ’s definitely not [home]2941-home . Which means . . . there ’s either [a murderer]592-a murderer in [there]2954-there , [a suffering animal]1266-a suffering animal , or a ghost . [I]0-i shuffle to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , keeping [my]0-i eyes on [his]87-jp door the entire time as [I]0-i haphazardly reach for a wooden spoon from the utensils crock on the counter . Spoon in hand , [I]0-i creep toward [[his]87-jp hallway]1130-his hallway , only to stop when [I]0-i hear the noise again . “ Frrrrrrrreeerm . ”[0-i] Oh [God]92-god . Oh God . OH GOD ! [I]0-i can practically taste [my]0-i heartbeat as [I]0-i move closer . [My]0-i pulse zaps against [my]0-i neck , stiffening [my]0-i shoulders . Why am [I]0-i doing this alone ? [I]0-i should wait for [JP]87-jp to get [home]2941-home . “ Uhhhhhh . ”[0-i] [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut and nervously run in place , [my]0-i feet lightly padding on the floor . Turn around , [[you]1279-you idiot]1280-you idiot , this is how [people in scary movies]1281-people in scary movies die . [They]1281-people in scary movies investigate the sound . But just like [every other moron in a scary movie]1282-every other moron in a scary movie , [I]0-i do n’t run to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room and call for help . [I]0-i do n’t even grab a freaking knife . Nope , manned with a wooden spoon — the worst it can do is toss a salad — [I]0-i slide closer and closer to [[his]87-jp room]557-his room until [I]0-i hear it . . . a constant pumping sound . Like . . . oh God , like [someone]364-someone is getting stabbed . “ Fuuuuuu . ”[364-someone] Stabbed ! [They]364-someone ’re getting stabbed in [[his]87-jp room]557-his room right now . Wait . . . what if [JP]87-jp is getting stabbed and [I]0-i ’m just standing here , outside of [his]87-jp door with a wooden spoon , doing nothing ? What if [he]87-jp came [home]2941-home without [me]0-i knowing and was attacked ? [My]0-i nipples grow hard in fear . [I]0-i nearly choke on [my]0-i saliva . And before [I]0-i can stop [myself]0-i , [I]0-i pull down on the doorknob , then kick the door open and accompany it with a warrior scream that nearly deafens [me]0-i . “ EEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHH ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell , wielding [my]0-i spoon at the air . “ What the fuck ! ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp ’s voice calls out . [My]0-i eyes land on the bed , where [he]87-jp pops up , completely and utterly naked . . . and holding a pillow in front of [his]87-jp crotch . What is . . . Oh no . Oh [God]92-god . OH , [DEAR HEAVEN]189-dear heaven . That was n’t a suffering animal . Or [a suffering human]1267-a suffering human . Or a ghost . Or a stabbing . That was . . . Oh , [sweet lord]1289-sweet lord , that was [JP]87-jp jacking off . The spoon falls from [my]0-i hand as [I]0-i quickly cover [my]0-i eyes and spin away . “ Oh , wow . . . sorry . [You]0-i ’re , uh , [you]0-i ’re [home]2941-home , having private time . ”[0-i] [Eyes]190-eyes still covered , [I]0-i head in the direction of the door , but run right into the wall , banging [my]0-i nose and forehead on the hard surface . “ Oh , fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i feel around with [my]0-i other hand , trying to find the doorway . [I]0-i turn , spin . Lose track of where [I]0-i ’m going . And before [I]0-i know it , [my]0-i hand is caressing a very stiff body . “ Ahh , ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell again , dropping the hand covering [my]0-i eyes only to find [my]0-i other hand passing over [JP]87-jp ’s nipples . “ Oh shit , sorry . That ’s [your]87-jp , uh , that ’s [your]87-jp man chest . [Your]87-jp nipple . [I]0-i was just rubbing [your]87-jp nipple . Not on purpose . Not because [I]0-i wanted to . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , what the fuck are [you]87-jp doing in [here]2716-here ? ”[0-i] “ Great question . ”[0-i] [I]0-i offer [him]87-jp a thumbs up . “ And [I]0-i have an equally great explanation . [You]87-jp see , [I]0-i went to grab [my]0-i dinner when [I]0-i heard this noise . [I]0-i thought it was a ghost or [a murderer]592-a murderer , or even a suffering animal , like a squirrel caught in a wall or something like that . [You]87-jp never know in [these old buildings]3339-these old buildings . Anyway , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i ’d check it out , and then when [I]0-i got closer , [I]0-i thought [you]87-jp were being stabbed . It really sounded like a stabbing , not that [I]0-i listen to stabbing noises , but , [you]87-jp know , the movies prepare [you]87-jp for such sounds , so [I]0-i came in [here]2716-here , attempting to scare away the stabber . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp stares at [me]0-i , [his]87-jp face falling flat . “ With a wooden spoon ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i did n’t say [I]0-i was being smart about it . [I]0-i was just trying to be [a hero]3341-a hero without a plan . [I]0-i see now that maybe that was n’t the best idea . ”[0-i] [You]0-i should ’ve fucking knocked . Jesus . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp winces , and because [I]0-i ca n’t help [myself]0-i , [I]0-i glance down at [his]87-jp pillow and then back up at [him]87-jp . “ Did [you]87-jp get to finish ? ”[0-i] “ Does it look like [I]87-jp got to finish ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]0-i do n’t know . Maybe [you]0-i were in the middle of coming when [I]0-i came in . ”[0-i] [I]0-i reach out and touch the tip of [his]87-jp nipple — still not sure why . [Your]0-i nipple is hard . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes a step forward , closing the space between [us]1290-us , and pokes [my]0-i nipple , dead center . “ Ow , ”[0-i] [I]0-i complain , covering [my]0-i nipple . [Your]0-i nipple is hard . Does that mean [you]0-i ’re coming as [we]1290-us speak ? ”[0-i] “ Do n’t poke [my]87-jp nipple like that . It hurts . ”[87-jp] “ It did n’t hurt . ”[87-jp] “ Yes , it did . ”[0-i] “ No , it did n’t . ”[87-jp] “ YES , it did ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i reach out and poke [his]87-jp nipple the same way [he]87-jp poked [mine]0-i . [He]87-jp does n’t even flinch . So , [I]0-i do it again . And again . And — [He]87-jp pokes [my]0-i other nipple . A gasp pops out of [me]0-i as [I]0-i cover that boob , too . The actual audacity of [this man]2781-this man . [I]87-jp ca n’t believe [you]87-jp poked both of [my]87-jp nipples . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i poked [mine]0-i , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , standing there in a face - off , testing [me]0-i . “ This is n’t a tit for tit type of thing . ”[87-jp] “ Is this something [you]0-i do often to know the rules about it ? Barge in when [someone]364-someone ’s jacking off and then start poking [their]364-someone nipples ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp pokes [my]0-i hand . [I]0-i grow angrier and poke [him]87-jp back . [He]87-jp pokes [me]0-i in the chest . [I]0-i poke [him]87-jp in the abdomen . [He]87-jp swats [my]0-i shin with [his]87-jp foot . [I]0-i cry out in shock and then swat at [him]87-jp with [my]0-i foot , followed by a poke . [He]87-jp fakes [me]0-i to the right and then pokes [me]0-i on the left . “ Urgggh . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i release both [my]0-i breasts and go in for a double poke , but [he]87-jp ’s just swift enough to poke [me]0-i in the nipple one more time before stepping away . Before [I]0-i know what [I]0-i ’m doing , [I]0-i run at [him]87-jp at full force and tackle [him]87-jp to the ground , [his]87-jp pillow falling to the side , [me]0-i falling on top of [his]87-jp stomach , straddling [him]87-jp . And like the casual ass that [he]87-jp is , [he]87-jp puts [his]87-jp hands behind [his]87-jp head and stares up at [me]0-i . “ If this is what [you]0-i wanted , [babe]2728-babe , [you]0-i should ’ve just asked . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i teeth grind together and [I]0-i say , [I]0-i was trying to save [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Likely story . ”[0-i] [I]0-i was , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , more irritated . [I]0-i said [I]0-i owe [you]87-jp , and that ’s what [I]0-i meant . [I]0-i was throwing [my]0-i body at [[your]87-jp attacker]3344-your attacker . ”[0-i] [You]1292-you were throwing [your]1292-you body at [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i growl and then poke [him]1292-you again . [He]1292-you pokes [me]0-i back , this time , lifting [my]0-i breast while [he]1292-you does it . “ Stop that ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell . [You]1292-you stop it . ”[0-i] [I]1292-you did stop . ”[1292-you] “ No , [you]1292-you started it again . ”[1292-you] “ Because [you]1292-you ’re irritating [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Because [you]1292-you interrupted [my]1292-you man time . ”[1292-you] [Your]1292-you man time ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause , letting [his]1292-you words sink in , and for some reason — maybe the way [he]1292-you said it , the words [he]1292-you chose — they hit [me]0-i in a way [I]0-i was n’t expecting . [I]0-i start to giggle . Then giggle some more . Then snort . Then chuckle . A laugh . . . “ What ’s so fucking funny ? ”[0-i] [You]1292-you said man time . ”[0-i] “ So ? What do [you]1292-you call it ? ”[0-i] “ Not man time . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh some more , the obnoxious , nervous , but also ca n’t control it laughter . That causes [him]1292-you to laugh . Smile lines crease [his]1292-you eyes . Joy overtakes [his]1292-you expression . And then , [we]1293-we ’re laughing together , to the point that [I]0-i roll off [his]1292-you stomach and fall to the ground . [I]0-i catch [him]1292-you pulling the pillow back over [his]1292-you crotch so [I]0-i do n’t see anything as [his]1292-you chest moves up and down with laughter . After what seems like forever , [I]0-i turn toward [him]1292-you and say , [I]1292-you ’m sorry [I]1292-you interrupted [your]1292-you man time . Next time , can [you]1292-you attempt to not sound like a suffering animal ? ”[1292-you] [He]1292-you passes [his]1292-you hands over [his]1292-you eyes . [I]1292-you ’m never going to be able to come again without worrying what [I]1292-you sound like . Thank [you]0-i for that . ”[1292-you] [You]1292-you ’re welcome . ”[0-i] [I]0-i sit up and say , [I]0-i think [we]3345-we needed this . ”[0-i] [You]0-i walking in on [me]1292-you jacking off ? ”[1292-you] [he]1292-you asks with humor . “ No , not that per se , just a moment of levity to break up the tension . ”[1292-you] “ Trust [me]0-i , [babe]2728-babe , the tension is still there since [you]2728-babe did n’t let [me]0-i come . Probably worse than ever . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wince . “ Well , then , let [me]0-i let [you]2728-babe get back to [your]2728-babe . . . man time . ”[0-i] [We]1294-we both stand , [him]1292-you still covering [himself]1292-you . “ Try not to be so loud this time . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , trust [me]0-i , [I]0-i ’ll be putting a goddamn sock in [my]0-i mouth from now on . ”[0-i] “ Whatever gets [you]2728-babe off . ”[1294-we] [We]1294-we both smirk and then [I]0-i leave before [I]0-i burst into another fit of laughter .

* * *

“ How was the rest of [your]87-jp night ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask when [JP]87-jp walks into [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen the next morning , freshly showered and dressed in a suit and tie , an outfit [I]0-i see [him]87-jp in regularly . For some reason , [his]87-jp choice of clothing feels different today . Maybe because of what happened last night . Walking in on [him]87-jp during [his]87-jp “ man time . ”[87-jp] It was kind of sexy , knowing that [he]87-jp was doing that while [I]0-i was in [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . That [he]87-jp did n’t care that [I]0-i was nearby . [I]0-i thought about it all last night . Did [he]87-jp want [me]0-i to hear [him]87-jp ? Was [he]87-jp taunting [me]0-i ? That would be true to [his]87-jp personality , to do something like that . “ The rest of [my]87-jp night ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , briefly looking over [his]87-jp shoulder as [he]87-jp gets [his]87-jp coffee . “ Explosive . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i swallow hard . Explosive , as in . . . “ Well , that ’s good to know . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp turns and leans against the counter as [he]87-jp brings the mug to [his]87-jp lips . “ Is it good to know ? ”[87-jp] “ Sure , [everyone]2734-everyone deserves . . . relief . [I]87-jp interrupted the process , so [I]87-jp ’m glad [you]0-i got to finish . ”[87-jp] “ Seems like an odd thing to say to [someone]364-someone . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah , [I]0-i was just thinking that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i push [my]0-i plate to the side and sit back in [my]0-i chair at the dining room table . [I]0-i honestly was n’t sure what [I]0-i was going to say to [you]0-i this morning . That was the best [I]0-i could come up with . ”[0-i] “ It was weak . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know . Maybe this is why [I]87-jp ’m still single , because [I]87-jp have weak repartee . ”[87-jp] “ Nah , that ’s not it . ”[0-i] “ Oh ? Do [you]87-jp have a theory about why [I]87-jp ’m still single ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp slowly nods while lowering [his]87-jp mug . “ Trying too hard . ”[87-jp] “ How am [I]0-i trying too hard ? ”[0-i] “ Because [you]0-i ’re always looking for the next date . Why not sit back and wait for something to happen ? [You]0-i never know , [the person [you]0-i ’re meant to be with]3349-the person you ’re meant to be with might be right in front of [your]0-i face . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i ’ve tried the waiting game . Nothing has happened . Maybe [I]0-i should start walking around neighborhoods like [Lottie]89-kelsey did . ”[0-i] “ Could help . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp smiles and then takes a seat at the table . “ Maybe if [you]0-i stop looking , it ’ll find [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] Then [he]87-jp shrugs and says , “ Plus , [you]0-i ’re hot . It ’s not like [you]0-i do n’t arouse interest . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i have none , [JP]87-jp . [Edwin]142-edwin was the best [I]0-i could do . ”[0-i] [Edwin]142-edwin was a tool . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp rotates [his]87-jp mug on the table . “ There has to be something [you]0-i ’re more interested in than finding love . ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]87-jp do have this podcast , but it ’s focused around love . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles . “ What ’s it called ? ”[87-jp] “ Meant to Be . [I]87-jp interview [couples]3087-couples on how [they]3087-couples met and found love . ”[87-jp] Sheepishly , [I]0-i shrug . [I]0-i guess [I]0-i just love love . [I]0-i enjoy origin stories , meet - cutes , and the different ways [people]2736-people find each other . It ’s fascinating to [me]0-i . [I]0-i also like taking aquatic classes . ”[0-i] “ Aquatic classes ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Tell [me]87-jp more about that . Like , aerobics in [the water]3352-the water ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i nod . “ Yeah . [I]0-i ’m easily [the youngest in the class]3353-the youngest in the class , but that does n’t bother [me]0-i . [I]0-i just like working out in [the water]3352-the water and the music [they]2736-people play is old - school love songs . So , it works for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Do [you]87-jp wear a one - piece ? ”[0-i] “ Of course . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . “ Such a shame . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’m not about to work out with [a bunch of [old ladies]3356-old ladies]3355-a bunch of old ladies in a two - piece . [I]0-i have a respectable one - piece . ”[0-i] “ Color ? ”[0-i] “ Red . ”[87-jp] “ Nice . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes another sip of [his]87-jp coffee . “ What ’s [your]87-jp plan for today ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp was going to finalize [my]87-jp ideas for the renovations . Maybe go for a walk . [I]87-jp have meetings lined up for tomorrow , but nothing today . What about [you]0-i ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp checks the expensive , matte - black watch wrapped around [his]87-jp thick wrist and says , [I]87-jp have a meeting in about thirty minutes that [I]87-jp have to run to . Want to meet [me]87-jp for lunch ? ”[87-jp] “ Oh , uh , sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , caught off guard . Meet [him]87-jp for lunch ? As in . . . just [the two of [us]674-the two of us]674-the two of us ? That does n’t seem like [him]87-jp . Then again , [I]0-i think last night might have broken the ice for [him]87-jp . For [us]674-the two of us . [He]87-jp was brooding on [the plane]3171-the plane to [San Francisco]21-san francisco . But [I]0-i apologized for the gala . [He]87-jp defended [me]0-i to [Regis]180-regis . And [we]674-the two of us broke the tension . Maybe this is the next step . [He]87-jp taps the table with [his]87-jp knuckle and rises from the chair . [I]87-jp ’ll text [you]0-i the time and place . See [you]0-i later , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] “ Bye , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with an awkward wave , watching [him]87-jp walk away . Huh . . . Maybe this trip wo n’t be as bad as [I]0-i first thought .

* * *

“ Pickle - flavored chips ? [I]0-i do n’t know about that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i stare at the bag of chips [JP]87-jp insisted on sharing . [He]87-jp reaches for the bag , pops it open , and tilts it toward [me]0-i . “ Try one . [I]87-jp promise [you]0-i ’ll like it . ”[87-jp] “ And what if [I]87-jp do n’t ? ”[87-jp] “ Then [you]87-jp need new tastebuds . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp are n’t always right , [you]87-jp know , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while taking a chip . “ Most of the time , [I]87-jp am . And [I]87-jp ’m right about these chips . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes one as well , and together , [we]1299-we place them in [our]1299-we mouths . The heavenly , seasoned chip introduces [my]0-i tongue to a world of flavors . Like tasty fireworks blasting off in [my]0-i mouth . And damn it . . . [he]87-jp ’s right . They ’re good . They ’re really good . Some of the most flavorful chips [I]0-i ’ve ever had . “ What do [you]0-i think ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . Not wanting to hand [him]87-jp the satisfaction of [me]0-i liking [them]1300-them , [I]0-i just shrug and say , “ Eh , they ’re okay . ”[0-i] The corner of [his]87-jp lip twitches as [he]87-jp whispers , “ Liar . ”[87-jp] Then [he]87-jp pulls the bag closer to [him]87-jp and adds , “ If they ’re just okay , [I]87-jp guess [I]87-jp ’ll eat them [myself]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Should ’ve seen that coming . [I]0-i groan and hold out [my]0-i hand . “ Fine . . . they ’re really freaking good and [I]0-i want more , please . ”[0-i] That causes [him]87-jp to laugh . [He]87-jp hands [me]0-i the bag and [I]0-i take a nice fistful of chips for [my]0-i plate . “ See , always right , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . “ And humble , too . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i pop a few more chips in [my]0-i mouth . “ So , what was today ’s meeting about ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp sighs and says , “ Just a meeting with [Edison]182-edison . [We]3357-we went around and looked at [some other buildings [Huxley]90-huxley wanted [me]87-jp to check out]3358-some other buildings huxley wanted me to check out . ”[87-jp] “ Anything good ? ”[87-jp] “ Not really . Not worth [our]3357-we time . ”[87-jp] “ How can [you]0-i tell if it ’s worth [your]0-i time or not ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp brushes [his]87-jp hand with a napkin , cleaning the heavy pickle seasoning from [his]87-jp fingers . [Location]3359-location is always the first thing . The purpose of [the building]3134-the building — will it be worth the time and energy [we]3357-we put into it to make money ? And then , of course , renovations . There was also no character to [these buildings]3361-these buildings . They were just kind of [there]2954-there . [We]3357-we ’ve made plenty of money on [generic buildings]3363-generic buildings , [you]0-i ’ve seen them around [LA]18-la , and [we]3357-we have [a few in [New York City]29-new york city]3364-a few in new york city now , too . [They]3364-a few in new york city ’ve done the job , but now [we]3357-we ’re more interested in [unique buildings]3365-unique buildings . ”[87-jp] “ Passion projects ? ”[87-jp] “ Sort of , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers . [Huxley]90-huxley really wants to expand , hence why [he]3366-he partnered with [you]0-i . Sometimes [I]87-jp think nothing will be good enough , that [he]3366-he ’ll constantly keep pressing to be the best , but [I]87-jp ’m not sure what the best is . ”[87-jp] “ Meanwhile , [your]0-i workload is filling up . ”[87-jp] “ Exactly . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp glances out the window of [the sandwich shop]1301-the sandwich shop and says , [I]87-jp ’m surprised [you]0-i met up with [me]87-jp for lunch . [I]87-jp thought [you]0-i hated [me]87-jp too much to do such a thing . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t hate [you]87-jp . Hell , [I]87-jp thought [you]87-jp hated [me]87-jp . [I]87-jp was surprised that [you]87-jp asked [me]87-jp to lunch . Was n’t sure if it was a ploy to do something else . ”[87-jp] “ Like what ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles . [I]87-jp do n’t know , plant some sort of chip in [[my]87-jp bedroom]940-my bedroom so [you]0-i knew what [I]87-jp was doing at all times . ”[87-jp] “ Jesus . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp laughs . “ What kind of psychopath do [you]0-i think [I]87-jp am ? ”[87-jp] “ Apparently , [a creepy one]3368-a creepy one . [I]87-jp do n’t know . It ’s just nice that [you]87-jp ’re talking to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’ve always talked to [you]87-jp , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]87-jp just vary the tone . ”[87-jp] “ No , [you]87-jp were doing the silent treatment there for a bit . ”[87-jp] “ Because [you]0-i pissed [me]87-jp off , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp counters . [I]87-jp was being [a nice guy]809-a nice guy that night and [you]87-jp treated [me]87-jp like [I]87-jp was [an insensitive asshole]3370-an insensitive asshole . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know , and [I]87-jp ’m sorry . [I]87-jp think [I]87-jp was just thrown off by that entire evening , and [I]87-jp was n’t in the best frame of mind . Can [I]87-jp ask , what were [your]87-jp intentions for that night ? [You]87-jp asked [me]87-jp to dance , why ? ”[87-jp] “ Because . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp pops another chip in [his]87-jp mouth and chews . [I]87-jp wanted to make sure that [you]87-jp had some fun . Getting run over by [an old man]3371-an old man was n’t the plan . But at least that brought [you]87-jp a little joy . ”[87-jp] “ And then [Edwin]142-edwin and [Genesis]144-genesis took off . Reminds [me]87-jp of When [Harry]111-harry Met [Sally]111-harry[you]87-jp know , when [they]3372-they go on a double date and [their]3372-they dates go off with [each other]333-each other . That was [us]3374-us . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp lucked out , then . [I]87-jp was much better company than [Edwin]142-edwin . Better to look at , too . ”[87-jp] “ Ah , there ’s that humility . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m humble . [I]87-jp ’m just showing [you]87-jp that [I]87-jp know [my]87-jp worth . Nothing wrong with that . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp suppose not . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i finish [my]0-i last chip and ask , “ So when [we]3374-us got back to [[your]87-jp place]3224-your place , what was [your]87-jp intention ? ”[0-i] “ To kick [you]87-jp to [[your]87-jp car]3106-your car and send [you]87-jp on [your]87-jp way . [I]87-jp had a date with some chocolate - covered cherries that night and the hell if [I]87-jp was sharing with [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Stop , no , [you]87-jp did not . ”[87-jp] [He]1302-i holds [his]1302-i heart . “ Swear by it . [I]1302-i went back to [[my]1302-i house]2843-my house , sat in [[my]1302-i empty living room]3378-my empty living room because [I]1302-i did n’t have any furniture at that point , and ate five chocolate - covered cherries while [I]1302-i scrolled through Twitter . ”[1302-i] [I]87-jp ’m having a hard time believing [you]87-jp . [You]87-jp do n’t seem like [the kind of guy who kicks back with a box of chocolate - covered cherries]3379-the kind of guy who kicks back with a box of chocolate - covered cherries . ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]1302-i am , ”[1302-i] [he]1302-i says . [They]3380-they ’re [my]1302-i kryptonite . [I]1302-i ’ll do anything for [them]3380-they and [I]1302-i have a pantry stocked with boxes . [Queen Anne ’s]30-queen anne ’s , to be precise , because [I]1302-i know that was [your]87-jp next question . ”[1302-i] [You]1302-i ’re serious ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes . Do n’t believe [me]1302-i ? [Text Huxley]90-huxley . ”[1302-i] [I]1302-i ’m not going to bother [him]1302-i with that . ”[1302-i] “ Fine , [I]1302-i will . ”[1302-i] [He]1302-i pulls [his]1302-i phone from [his]1302-i pocket and starts typing away . [He]1302-i presses send , and then , with an air of arrogance , [he]1302-i takes a sip of [his]1302-i drink . [His]1302-i phone soon buzzes on the table . [He]1302-i does n’t look at the answer . [He]1302-i simply unlocks the screen and turns it toward [me]0-i . [JP]87-jp : Sitting here with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey does n’t believe [I]0-i ’m obsessed with chocolate - covered cherries . Set [her]89-kelsey straight . [Huxley]90-huxley : [He]1302-i has at least thirty boxes in [[his]1302-i pantry]1303-his pantry . It ’s an obsession . [I]0-i glance at [JP]87-jp , who smirks now . “ Told [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Wow . . . that ’s something [I]0-i never would ’ve guessed about [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Sometimes [you]87-jp have to get to know [someone]364-someone first , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , before [you]87-jp start trying to put [them]364-someone in a lane in [your]87-jp mind . There ’s a lot [you]87-jp do n’t know about [me]0-i . Stick around . [I]0-i ’m sure [you]87-jp ’ll find out more . ”[0-i] “ Yes , [I]87-jp probably will . Just like [I]87-jp found out [you]87-jp do n’t mind masturbating while [other people]320-other people are [home]2941-home . ”[87-jp] With a grin , [he]87-jp winks . “ Precisely . ”[87-jp]

* * *

“ What are [you]0-i up to tonight ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks over the phone as [I]0-i finish [my]0-i nighttime skincare regimen . If [you]1304-you were wondering , [I]0-i wash [my]0-i face , pat it dry , apply [my]0-i nighttime wrinkle - free serum , followed by moisturizer , and then lock it in with a touch of rose oil . [I]0-i follow up the whole process by applying lotion to the rest of [my]0-i body . “ Nothing special . Spent dinner on [my]0-i own again , second night in a row . [JP]87-jp had a meeting with [someone]364-someone , so [I]0-i just ordered some cauliflower mac and cheese and called it a night . [I]0-i ’m planning to read a book in [the living room]2689-the living room because the skyline at night is so beautiful . [I]0-i want to soak it in as much as [I]0-i can . ”[0-i] “ Sounds . . . riveting . Here ’s an idea — when [he]87-jp gets [home]2941-home , why do n’t [you]0-i try to walk in on [[his]87-jp man]3387-his man time again ? ”[1305-i] Yeah , [I]0-i told [her]1305-i about the other night . [I]0-i had to . [She]1305-i ’s [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister . But [I]0-i did n’t tell [her]1305-i about the lunch , because [I]0-i did n’t want [her]1305-i getting all weird about it . It was a simple lunch , nothing too crazy , nothing to talk about . [I]1305-i ’m never going near [that room]3388-that room again . ”[1305-i] “ Come on , after that nipple poking , [you]0-i ca n’t tell [me]1305-i [you]0-i ’re not interested in seeing what it ’s like to be kissed by [JP]87-jp . Now is the time . [[You]0-i guys]2996-you guys are alone , together , might as well test it out . ”[1305-i] “ Have [you]0-i hit [yourself]0-i on the head ? That is n’t what [we]2996-you guys ’re here for and there ’s no way [I]1305-i ’m going [there]2954-there . ”[1305-i] “ Are [you]0-i saying [you]0-i do n’t want [him]87-jp ? Because [I]1305-i do n’t believe that . [The Cane brothers]3391-the cane brothers are another breed , and it ’s clear there ’s chemistry between [you]0-i and [JP]87-jp . Find out how hot it could be between [[you]2996-you guys guys]2996-you guys . ”[1305-i] [JP]87-jp does n’t want [me]1305-i in that way . There was nothing sexual about the nipple poking . If there was the slightest bit of sexiness to that , [he]87-jp would ’ve attempted something when [I]1305-i was sitting on [his]87-jp chest . And , also , sure , [I]1305-i think [he]87-jp ’s hot , but [I]1305-i do n’t want to go there with [him]87-jp . [I]1305-i ’m not looking for a one - night stand . [I]1305-i ’m looking for love . ”[1305-i] “ If [he]87-jp ’s anything like [Huxley]90-huxley , [you]0-i wo n’t want it to be one night . ”[1305-i] [He]87-jp ’ll want one night . [You]0-i know [he]87-jp does n’t do relationships and [I]1305-i do n’t even know why [we]3393-we ’re talking about this , as nothing is happening between [us]3393-we . That whole ordeal in [[his]87-jp room]557-his room was an accident . [I]1305-i have no intention of furthering any sort of physical touching . ”[1305-i] “ Okay , but tell [me]1305-i this — how did it feel poking [his]87-jp nipple ? ”[1305-i] Oddly good . And after the initial shock of [him]1307-him poking [me]0-i wore off , [I]0-i kind of liked it . The playfulness . It was a different side of [him]1307-him , and [I]0-i appreciated it . But [I]0-i need to put a stop to [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s incessant need to get [me]0-i to think of [JP]87-jp in another way . “ It was simple . It ’s not like some magical spark erupted between [us]3393-we . It was brief and awkward and [we]3393-we did n’t talk about it after . [I]87-jp ’m telling [you]89-kelsey , nothing is going on , so just drop it . ”[87-jp] “ Ugh , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey groans . “ Why are [you]87-jp ruining [my]89-kelsey dreams ? ”[89-kelsey] [Your]87-jp dreams ? What on earth do [you]87-jp mean ? ”[87-jp] [Brother - brother]3395-brother - brother , [sister - sister couples]3396-sister - sister couples . ”[87-jp] [I]89-kelsey feel like [you]87-jp did n’t say that in the right order . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey know what [I]89-kelsey mean , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey huffs . “ It would be so cool if , as [sisters]3397-sisters , [we]3393-we dated [brothers]3398-brothers . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey ’re not just dating [Huxley]90-huxley , [you]89-kelsey ’re marrying [him]3398-brothers . Which , by the way , how was the floral meeting ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Boring , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says . [Huxley]90-huxley insists on the best for [our]3393-we wedding and [I]89-kelsey keep telling [him]3398-brothers it ’s not necessary . [He]3398-brothers told [me]89-kelsey today [he]3398-brothers wants to fly in some Italian designer to make [my]89-kelsey dress . [I]89-kelsey told [him]3398-brothers [he]3398-brothers was nuts and that [I]89-kelsey could just go to [some boutique here in [LA]18-la]3399-some boutique here in la . [You]89-kelsey should ’ve seen the disgusted look on [his]3398-brothers face . As if the thought of having to shop for [my]89-kelsey own dress is so far beneath [him]3398-brothers . The thing is , [Kelse]96-kelse , [I]89-kelsey just want to be married , [I]89-kelsey do n’t care about all the fanfare . ”[89-kelsey] “ But it matters to [Huxley]90-huxley , right ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , ”[1308-you] [she]1308-you drawls . “ Which means [I]1308-you should just go along with it . [You]89-kelsey know , [he]3398-brothers was never this flashy when [we]3400-we first started [our]3400-we whole relationship farce . ”[1308-you] “ Uh , [I]89-kelsey beg to differ . Do [you]89-kelsey not remember the designer clothes and expensive lingerie [he]3398-brothers forced [you]89-kelsey to wear ? [People]2736-people did n’t even see [your]89-kelsey lingerie , and yet , [Huxley]90-huxley insisted [you]89-kelsey wear what [he]3398-brothers chose , and nothing cost less than one hundred dollars apiece . ”[89-kelsey] “ Ah , [I]89-kelsey guess [you]1308-you ’re right . Which reminds [me]89-kelsey , how are [you]1308-you liking those nighttime rompers ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Oh [my]89-kelsey God , [Lottie]89-kelsey . [I]89-kelsey love [them]3398-brothers so much . [They]3398-brothers ’re so comfortable . [I]89-kelsey brought [them]3398-brothers with [me]89-kelsey to sleep in . ”[89-kelsey] “ Wait . . . that ’s what [you]1308-you took to sleep in while [you]1308-you ’re [there]2954-there ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , why ? ”[1309-i] [She]1309-i laughs . “ Okay , sure , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , nothing is going to happen between [you]89-kelsey and [JP]87-jp . ”[1309-i] [I]89-kelsey brought a robe to go over it . Listen , [I]89-kelsey ’m not going to sacrifice [my]89-kelsey comfort because it may be considered indecent . [I]89-kelsey do n’t plan on walking around in [them]3398-brothers . [I]89-kelsey ’ll always have a robe on . ”[89-kelsey] “ If [you]89-kelsey say so . But let [me]89-kelsey tell [you]89-kelsey this , [you]89-kelsey have that date with [Derek]166-derek in a couple of days . If [you]89-kelsey ’re in any way involved with [JP]87-jp , please do n’t hurt [Derek]166-derek ’s feelings . [Ellie]167-ellie would kill [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey know [I]1309-i would n’t do that . [I]1309-i ’m actually excited about the date . [I]1309-i brought a few dress options for that night . [You]89-kelsey can help [me]1309-i pick one . ”[1309-i] “ Okay , good . Oh , hey , [Huxley]90-huxley ’s giving [me]89-kelsey bedroom eyes , so [I]89-kelsey should probably go . ”[89-kelsey] “ Shocking — [you]89-kelsey two are going to have sex , what else is new ? ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey sound jealous . ”[1309-i] No , just horny . “ Have fun , [sis]2986-sis . Good night . ”[0-i] [I]0-i hang up the phone and then go to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room to pick up [my]0-i book , a romcom about [three siblings who go back to [[their]1311-three siblings who go back to their hometown to throw an anniversary party for their parents hometown]1312-their hometown to throw an anniversary party for [[their]1311-three siblings who go back to their hometown to throw an anniversary party for their parents parents]1313-their parents]1311-three siblings who go back to their hometown to throw an anniversary party for their parents , but then all hell breaks loose when [their]1311-three siblings who go back to their hometown to throw an anniversary party for their parents personalities clash and [their]1311-three siblings who go back to their hometown to throw an anniversary party for their parents love lives are tested . [I]0-i ’ve heard nothing but great things about it . [I]0-i head back to [the living room]2689-the living room . [I]0-i switch on the light , illuminating the space . . . and [the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats , a glass of water in [his]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats hand . “ Jesus HELL ON EARTH ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i scream as [I]0-i stumble backwards . [JP]87-jp , ”[0-i] [I]0-i huff out . “ What the hell are [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats doing , standing in the dark like that ? ”[0-i] The lightest of smirks pulls at [his]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats lips . “ Just grabbing some water . ”[1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats] [His]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats eyes scan [me]0-i , taking in [my]0-i robe and bare legs . “ What are [you]0-i doing ? ”[1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats] [I]0-i was going to read out here and enjoy the skyline . [God]92-god , when did [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats get [home]2941-home ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i attempt to calm [my]0-i racing heart as [I]0-i make [my]0-i way to the couch . “ About ten minutes ago . Did n’t feel like saying hi to [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats . ”[0-i] “ Well , are n’t [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats kind ? [You]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats were just going to wait around in the dark to scare [me]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats ? ”[1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats] “ How was [I]0-i supposed to know [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats were going to read in here ? Seems kind of weird to [me]0-i if [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats plan on reading a book while enjoying the skyline because [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats ca n’t do both at the same time . ”[0-i] “ Yes , [I]0-i can , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with a tilt of [my]0-i chin . “ Every so often [I]0-i can look up from [my]0-i book and enjoy the scenery , and then go back to reading . ”[0-i] “ The book ca n’t be that good if [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats ’re looking up from it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take a deep breath and slowly let it out . “ Is there a reason [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats ’re sticking around and not retreating back to [[your]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats space]3405-your space ? ”[0-i] “ Question for [you]1315-the man standing there in nothing but a pair of sweats . ”[0-i] “ Oh , please delight [me]0-i with [your]1316-he inquiry , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , folding one leg over the other . [His]1316-he eyes stray to [my]0-i legs for only a moment before [he]1316-he shifts on [his]1316-he feet . “ Friday night , [I]1316-he ’ve been invited to [[the mayor]3168-the mayor ’s house]3407-the mayor ’s house for a ball . Was n’t sure if [you]0-i wanted to tag along . ”[1316-he] [He]1316-he ’s asking [me]0-i out again . Well , not asking [me]0-i out , like on a date , but asking to spend more time with [me]0-i , and [I]0-i ’d be lying if [I]0-i said it does n’t thrill [me]0-i that [he]1316-he wants that . But . . . hell . [I]0-i ’m busy Friday night . “ Friday night ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask and wince . “ That ’s when [I]0-i have that date with [Derek]166-derek . [I]0-i do n’t want to stand [him]166-derek up . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp ’s face tightens as [he]87-jp asks , “ Date , huh ? Still going out with [that guy]378-that guy ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , seeing as though [I]87-jp ’m currently in the dating ring , [I]87-jp would say yes . But if this is a work thing , [I]87-jp can see if [Derek]166-derek can reschedule . ”[87-jp] “ It ’s not . Go on [your]87-jp date . Find love . [I]87-jp ’m sure [he]166-derek ’ll be [the man of [your]87-jp dreams]3409-the man of your dreams . ”[87-jp] From the clipped tone , the way [he]87-jp ’s ducking away from the conversation , it ’s clear [he]87-jp ’s flip - flopped from the “ warming up ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp back to [his]87-jp grumpy persona . [You]87-jp do n’t have to be [a dick]786-a dick about it , [JP]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Did n’t think [I]0-i was being [a dick]786-a dick . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grip [my]0-i book tighter . [Your]87-jp sarcasm is unmistakable . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp ’m sorry [you]87-jp see it that way . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t see it that way , [JP]87-jp , that ’s how [you]87-jp ’re acting . ”[87-jp] “ What do [you]87-jp want [me]0-i to do ? Throw a party for [you]1317-his because [you]1317-his finally have a date ? ”[0-i] “ Hey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , feeling insulted . “ Do n’t throw that in [my]0-i face . ”[0-i] “ Throw what in [your]87-jp face ? ”[1317-his] [He]1317-his pushes [his]1317-his hand through [his]1317-his hair and [I]0-i can see how [his]1317-his muscles contract with [his]1317-his annoyance . Well , guess what , [I]0-i ’m annoyed , too . “ The fact that [I]0-i do n’t get many dates . Using the word finally in [your]1317-his sentence was a low blow . ”[0-i] [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , are [you]87-jp going to pick apart every sentence [I]1317-his say to [you]87-jp ? ”[1317-his] “ No , but if [you]1317-his ’re going to be rude to [me]1317-his , then [I]1317-his ’m going to point it out . ”[1317-his] [I]0-i ’m not being rude . [Christ]148-jesus christ , stop being so sensitive . ”[0-i] [Me]0-i , sensitive ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , pointing at [my]0-i chest . “ How am [I]0-i being sensitive ? [You]0-i ’re [the one whose mood swings like goddamn Tarzan on a vine]3412-the one whose mood swings like goddamn tarzan on a vine . For [Christ]148-jesus christ ’s sake , [I]0-i ca n’t keep up with [you]0-i . Just moments ago , [we]3413-we were cool , and now [you]0-i ’re being mean . Is this because [I]0-i ca n’t go with [you]0-i to the ball ? Newsflash , [JP]87-jp , [people]2736-people need some notice . ”[0-i] “ Do n’t flatter [yourself]0-i , ”[1318-you] [he]1318-you says and turns toward [[his]1318-you bedroom]1319-his bedroom . “ Why are [you]1318-you like this ? ”[1318-you] “ Like what ? ”[0-i] [We]3413-we were having a nice time . [We]3413-we had a great lunch , [we]3413-we were communicating well , and now [you]1318-you ’re dismissing [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ How do [you]1318-you want [me]0-i to act ? Do [you]1318-you want [me]0-i to gush over [your]1318-you date ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i want [him]1318-you to be normal . [I]0-i want [him]1318-you to not push [me]0-i away . [I]0-i want [him]1318-you to . . . to . . . God , [I]0-i ’m so irritated that [I]0-i ca n’t think straight . [I]0-i just want to make [him]1318-you understand . When [I]0-i do n’t answer , [he]1318-you starts to walk away again , but nope , that ’s not a choice [I]0-i ’ll give [him]1318-you . [We]1320-we will be talking about this . And [we]1320-we ’ll be talking about this now . [I]0-i toss [my]0-i book on the coffee table in front of [me]0-i and walk up to [him]1318-you . [I]0-i grab [his]1318-you hand , pull [him]1318-you to the couch , and force [him]1318-you to sit down . “ What the hell are [you]1318-you doing ? ”[0-i] No answers . [He]1318-you does n’t deserve them . [I]0-i push [him]1318-you back against the cushion of the couch , straddle [his]1318-you lap , and take a seat . “ Uh , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m not getting up until [you]1318-you change [your]1318-you attitude . ”[0-i] There , deal with that ! “ Is this another attempt to trap [me]0-i again ? ”[0-i] “ Yes . And do n’t get any funny ideas . [I]0-i ’m not trying to do anything . . . sexual , but knowing [you]1318-you , this position is satisfactory to [you]1318-you , therefore , this is where [I]0-i ’ll sit , on [your]1318-you lap , until [you]1318-you can talk to [me]0-i without a sarcastic tone in [your]1318-you voice . ”[0-i] “ Might take a bit , ”[1318-you] [he]1318-you says , sipping water from [his]1318-you glass . [I]0-i steal the glass from [him]1318-you and set it on the end table . [I]0-i push [him]1318-you back on the couch with [my]0-i other hand . [Man]3096-man , [I]0-i did n’t know [you]1318-you were [a dominatrix]3416-a dominatrix . That ’s a hidden gem . ”[0-i] “ Shut up , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ God , [you]1318-you ’re so annoying . ”[0-i] “ And yet , [you]1318-you choose to be in [my]0-i company . ”[0-i] [I]0-i choose peace and that means getting [you]1318-you to stop being [a dick]786-a dick . So . . . tell [me]0-i something about [you]1318-you . ”[0-i] “ What ? ”[1318-you] [he]1318-you asks , a question on [his]1318-you brow . “ Tell [me]1318-you something , anything . [We]3418-we ’re getting to know [each other]333-each other right now . Call it a company get - to - know - [you]1318-you . Oh , hey , okay . . . how about two truths and a lie . [You]1318-you know , that ice breaker game . ”[1318-you] “ Does it look like [I]1318-you ’m [the type of guy who plays that sort of game]3420-the type of guy who plays that sort of game ? ”[1318-you] “ Humor [me]0-i . . . please , ”[0-i] [I]0-i beg . [His]1318-you eyes scan [me]0-i and [I]0-i can see [him]1318-you waffling between saying something snarky and giving in to [my]0-i pleading . If [he]1318-you says no , [I]0-i ’m just going to continue begging [him]1318-you . [I]0-i want to make things at least okay between [us]1321-us , for the sake of [our]1321-us working relationship . [I]0-i wait a few more breaths and then finally . . . [He]1318-you heaves out a heavy , “ Fine , ”[1318-you] and then scratches the side of [his]1318-you jaw . “ Two truths and a lie . . . okay . How about this ? [I]1318-you once went scuba diving with whales . [I]1318-you think [I]1318-you have the greatest job in [the world]2761-the world . And winter is [my]1318-you favorite season . ”[1318-you] “ Well , that ’s easy . Scuba diving with whales seems like a rich - person activity , so that ’s true . [You]0-i clearly love [your]0-i job , so . . . winter is n’t [your]0-i favorite season , which makes sense since [you]0-i ’re [a born - and - raised California boy]3422-a born - and - raised california boy . ”[1318-you] “ Errrrr , wrong , ”[1318-you] [he]1318-you says , making a buzzing sound . “ Really ? [You]0-i never went scuba diving with whales ? ”[1318-you] “ No , [I]0-i swam with whales . In [Mo’orea]31-mo’orea , [an island of [French Polynesia]32-french polynesia]3423-an island of french polynesia to be exact . [It]3423-an island of french polynesia ’s [a sanctuary for humpback whales]3424-a sanctuary for humpback whales . [One of the best vacations of [my]0-i life]3425-one of the best vacations of my life . ”[0-i] [I]0-i growl out in frustration . [JP]87-jp , if [you]87-jp ’re not going to take this seriously — ”[0-i] “ Who says [I]0-i ’m not taking it seriously ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i attempt to get off [his]1318-you lap , but [his]1318-you hands clamp down on [my]0-i thighs , holding [me]0-i in place . [I]1318-you told two truths and a lie . ”[1318-you] In utter disbelief , [I]0-i say , “ So , [you]1318-you ’re telling [me]0-i [you]1318-you hate [your]1318-you job ? ”[0-i] “ Yes . [I]1318-you am , ”[1318-you] [he]1318-you answers matter - of - factly . “ Wait . . . are [you]1318-you being serious ? [You]1318-you hate it ? ”[1318-you] “ Yes . [I]0-i hate [my]0-i job . ”[0-i] “ But . . . [you]87-jp make it seem like [you]87-jp enjoy it . [I]0-i ’m confused . [You]87-jp have [[your]87-jp own company]3426-your own company with [[your]87-jp brothers]3427-your brothers , [you]87-jp get to work with [them]3427-your brothers day in and day out , [you]87-jp have [your]87-jp own schedule , and [you]87-jp get to stay in places like this . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gesture around [the room]345-the room . “ What can [you]1323-you possibly hate about all of that ? ”[0-i] [He]1323-you shakes [his]1323-you head and says , “ Yeah , did n’t think [you]0-i ’d understand . ”[1323-you] [He]1323-you goes to move [me]0-i , but this time , [I]0-i ’m [the one who stays put]1324-the one who stays put . “ Hold on . ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [my]0-i fingers to [his]1323-you chest . [You]1323-you ’re being honest , [you]1323-you hate it ? ”[0-i] “ How many times do [I]1323-you have to say it ? ”[1323-you] [I]0-i ’m sorry , ”[0-i] [I]0-i reply . [I]0-i ’m just confused . [You]1323-you ’ve been very convincing that [you]1323-you enjoy what [you]1323-you do . Why do [you]1323-you hate it ? ”[0-i] “ Let [me]1323-you ask [you]1323-you this — what do [you]1323-you like about [your]1323-you job ? ”[1323-you] “ Well , besides the obvious of having [my]1323-you own business and the complexities of experiencing the growth and downfalls , [I]1323-you love it because [I]1323-you feel like [I]1323-you ’m helping make [this world]3428-this world a better place to live . There are studies that go into detail about the therapeutic process of organizing [spaces]3429-spaces and how it can act as a calming technique for [people who have to live and work in that space]3430-people who have to live and work in that space . And on top of that , [I]1323-you ’m spreading the word about sustainability , which alone makes this job all worth it . ”[1323-you] [You]1323-you feel like [you]1323-you ’re making a difference . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . “ That ’s where [I]0-i fall flat . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’m doing anything in this damn life of [mine]0-i that ’s worth something . Sure , [I]0-i have money , more money than any of [us]3431-we or [any lineage to follow]3432-any lineage to follow could spend in a lifetime , and it just keeps coming in , multiplying . There ’s no stopping it because there ’s no stopping [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers . [They]740-my brothers want to take over [the world]2761-the world and [I]0-i ’m only really along for the ride . ”[0-i] “ But [you]1323-you ’re [not money - greedy humans]3435-not money - greedy humans . [You]1323-you donate a lot of money to [organizations throughout [LA]18-la]3436-organizations throughout la . [You]1323-you ’re leaders in real estate when it comes to best business practices — minus [Huxley]90-huxley ’s ‘ fake fiancée ’ thing with [Lottie]89-kelsey — but [you]1323-you ’re [honest men]3437-honest men , trustworthy . [You]1323-you ’re not hurting [anyone]377-anyone . ”[1323-you] “ Yeah , but [we]3431-we ’re not helping [anyone]377-anyone . [We]3431-we ’re only helping [ourselves]3431-we . ”[1323-you] “ That ’s not true , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [Lottie]89-kelsey specifically asked [Huxley]90-huxley why [he]0-i kept working when [they]3440-they first started seeing [each other]333-each other . [He]0-i said [he]0-i had all the money [he]0-i could possibly need , but [he]0-i continued because if [he]0-i did n’t work , if [he]0-i did n’t expand , then [the people who relied on [him]0-i]3442-the people who relied on him could n’t afford a life for [[their]3442-the people who relied on him families]3443-their families . [He]0-i keeps working so [[his]0-i employees]3444-his employees can keep working . ”[0-i] “ And [Huxley]90-huxley can say that , because it ’s true , but [my]1325-i job does n’t warrant the accolades [Huxley]90-huxley and [Breaker]97-breaker receive . [I]1325-i ’m just [the public relations face]3445-the public relations face . Hell , some days , [I]1325-i have nothing to do . The only reason why [you]3446-you work with [me]1325-i is because [I]1325-i ’m [the one who could handle the additional workload , which is barely anything since [you]3446-you pretty much do everything on [your]3446-you own]3447-the one who could handle the additional workload , which is barely anything since you pretty much do everything on your own . [I]1325-i get a paycheck , but for nothing . ”[1325-i] [Some people]3093-some people would be pleased with that , [you]3446-you know , especially [your]3446-you paycheck . ”[1325-i] “ Yes , but when [you]3446-you have to live up to [[your]3446-you brothers]3427-your brothers ’ reputation , it ’s brutal . ”[0-i] [I]0-i subconsciously rub [his]1325-i chest and say , [I]0-i can understand that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i attempt to get off [his]1325-i lap again , since [he]1325-i ’s talking — finally — but once again , [he]1325-i keeps [me]0-i where [I]0-i ’m at . Okay , not ready to let go just yet , that ’s fine . “ Then , can [I]1325-i ask [you]1325-i , what is it that [you]1325-i want to do ? ”[1325-i] [He]1325-i shrugs . “ Still trying to figure that out . ”[1325-i] “ Would [you]1325-i leave [the company]3158-the company ? ”[1325-i] [He]1325-i shakes [his]1325-i head . “ No , [[my]1325-i brothers]740-my brothers depend on [me]1325-i . [They]740-my brothers ’re [very private people]3452-very private people and trust practically [no one]2811-no one . If [I]1325-i left , [they]740-my brothers ’d have to take on [my]1325-i job responsibilities . [They]740-my brothers would n’t hire [someone outside of [the family]3455-the family]3454-someone outside of the family for that . ”[1325-i] “ That does n’t make sense , though . [You]1325-i ’re not happy . ”[1325-i] [He]1325-i shrugs . “ Maybe that ’s [my]1325-i life . [Unhappy]191-unhappy . ”[1325-i] “ That ’s not fair to [you]1325-i . ”[1325-i] “ Well , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , sometimes life is n’t fair . ”[1325-i] There ’s [the pessimist]1326-the pessimist . [You]1325-i do n’t have to put [yourself]1325-i in purgatory in order to help [[your]1325-i brothers]3427-your brothers . [I]1326-the pessimist ’m sure if [you]1325-i spoke to [them]3427-your brothers , [they]3427-your brothers ’d want to know that [you]1325-i ’re not happy . ”[1326-the pessimist] [You]0-i ’d think , ”[1325-i] [he]1325-i mutters and then blows out a heavy breath . Now [he]1325-i attempts to move [me]0-i , but like this push - and - pull game [we]1327-we ’ve been playing , [I]0-i ’m the one to stay put this time . [I]0-i still need to do two truths and a lie . ”[0-i] “ Right . ”[1325-i] [He]1325-i settles back into the couch and waits . [I]0-i can see that [his]1325-i mood has shifted again — actually , [I]0-i ’m not sure it was ever not sour . But instead of being [a grump]1328-a grump , [he]1325-i talked to [me]0-i . Looks like [I]0-i have so much more work to do . “ What are [your]1325-i two truths and a lie ? ”[1325-i] In a cheery tone , [I]0-i say , “ Since [you]1325-i asked . ”[0-i] [He]1325-i rolls [his]1325-i eyes again . “ Let ’s see . [I]1325-i like to collect magnets . [I]1325-i ’ve always said [I]1325-i ’d collect a magnet from [every new place [I]1325-i visit]3457-every new place i visit , but [I]1325-i have n’t been many places , so it ’s a sad collection . [I]1325-i have a plant in [[my]1325-i apartment]401-my apartment that [I]1325-i ’ve had since college . [His]1325-i name is [Boris]192-boris and [we]3459-we have a mutual understanding that [I]1325-i ’ll always water [him]1325-i and [he]1325-i ’ll never die on [me]1325-i . And [I]1325-i plan the color of [my]1325-i underwear for each day of the working week . Weekends are a free - for - all . And before [you]3460-you ask , Monday is red . Tuesday is pink . Wednesday is black . Thursday is green , because [I]1325-i once heard green is for Thursdays , because that ’s when [you]3460-you make the money , when [you]3460-you should work the hardest . And Friday is white . ”[1325-i] [He]1329-he ’s silent . Blinks . And then scratches the side of [his]1329-he jaw . [All three]3461-all three were in - depth . Frankly , it ’s disturbing how easily [you]3460-you rattled those off . Makes [me]0-i believe [you]3460-you ’re [some secret operative]3462-some secret operative . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wiggle [my]0-i eyebrows . “ Better watch [your]3460-you back . ”[0-i] [He]1329-he gives [my]0-i answers some thought . “ The first one seems like something [you]0-i ’d do , but [you]0-i only have like . . . five magnets . ”[1329-he] “ Four , to be exact . But it ’s a collection nonetheless . ”[0-i] “ And a plant named [Boris]192-boris feels on - brand for [you]0-i , but so does the underwear , but [my]0-i guess is [you]0-i messed up the days of the week so instead of Friday being white , it ’s actually black , because that ’s a typical date night . ”[0-i] [My]0-i jaw falls open as [I]0-i stare down at [him]1329-he . “ How the hell did [you]1329-he guess that ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i might be able to think quick on [your]0-i feet , but [I]0-i can smell bullshit from a mile away . [You]0-i ’re [a romantic on a dating journey]3463-a romantic on a dating journey and [I]0-i ’m assuming , given [your]0-i innocence , wearing black on Friday , date night , is daring for [you]0-i . Just makes sense . ”[0-i] [I]0-i fold [my]0-i arms over [my]0-i chest now and ask , “ Okay , so what ’s the order of the rest of [my]0-i underwear ? ”[0-i] [He]1329-he pauses for a moment and then holds [his]1329-he fingers up . “ Monday is white , to start the week off on a fresh note . Tuesday is pink because [you]0-i seem to be [the type of girl who would have a lot of pink underwear so it fits in on a Tuesday]3464-the type of girl who would have a lot of pink underwear so it fits in on a tuesday . Wednesday is red for hump day . Thursday . . . well , that ’s the wild card . [I]1329-he kind of believe the whole green money - making thing , so [I]1329-he ’m going to say that ’s right . And then black on Friday . The weekends are probably when [you]0-i wear fun underwear . Like some pink thong with a heart . ”[1329-he] When [I]0-i do n’t say anything , [he]1329-he says , [I]1329-he ’m right , are n’t [I]1329-he ? ”[1329-he] [I]0-i slip off [his]1329-he lap , and [he]1329-he actually lets [me]0-i this time . “ Unfortunately , [you]0-i are . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he chuckles , and even though it annoys [me]0-i that , apparently , [I]0-i ’m so predictable , [I]0-i ’m glad that [he]1329-he ’s found something humorous . “ But [I]1329-he do want [you]0-i to know that [I]1329-he ’m not that innocent . ”[1329-he] “ Sure . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he gets up from the couch and smooths down [his]1329-he shorts before picking up [his]1329-he glass of water . [I]1329-he ’m not . ”[1329-he] [I]0-i stand as well . [I]1329-he ’ve done plenty of non - innocent things in [my]1329-he lifetime . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he turns . “ Like what ? ”[1329-he] Yeah , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . like what ? How come nothing is coming to mind ? [I]0-i do plenty of things that would n’t be considered innocent . “ Face it , [you]89-kelsey ’re as innocent as [they]3465-they come . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he starts to walk away , so [I]0-i shout , “ Vibrator . ”[0-i] The corner of [his]1329-he lip quirks up when [he]1329-he faces [me]0-i again . [I]0-i straighten [my]0-i robe , clenching it tighter . [I]0-i have a vibrator . There , that ’s not innocent . ”[0-i] “ What kind of vibrator ? ”[0-i] [You]1329-he know . . . the kind that vibrates , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , hating [myself]0-i . “ It ’s pink . ”[0-i] “ Of course it ’s pink . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he chuckles . “ Not innocent , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Just about [every woman]3466-every woman has a vibrator . And from [my]1329-he guess , [you]89-kelsey probably use it every Wednesday to go along with [your]89-kelsey red underwear . ”[1329-he] God . . . why is [he]1329-he right again ? [He]1329-he reaches [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen and refills [his]1329-he water . “ Face it , [you]89-kelsey ’re as innocent as [they]3467-they come . If [your]89-kelsey day - of - the - week underwear does n’t say it , then [your]89-kelsey inability to tell [me]1329-he — in detail — the kind of vibrator [you]89-kelsey have is . ”[1329-he] “ It ’s pink . ”[0-i] [I]0-i throw [my]0-i arms up . “ What else do [you]1329-he want from [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [He]1329-he grips the kitchen counter and [his]1329-he eyes connect with [mine]0-i , [his]1329-he dark brows shadowing [his]1329-he light - green eyes . “ Pulse rate , settings , girth , length , and attachments . [I]1329-he want to know if [you]89-kelsey were too scared to even look at vibrators with a clit stimulator , so [you]89-kelsey just went with a common stick . ”[1329-he] [My]0-i lips rub together . “ That ’s what [you]1329-he got , was n’t it ? ”[1329-he] “ What does it matter the kind of . . . er , pulse rate it has ? [I]1329-he masturbate , so , therefore , [I]1329-he ’m not innocent . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he drags [his]1329-he hand over [his]1329-he face and then moves toward [[his]1329-he bedroom]1319-his bedroom . “ Okay , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[1329-he] “ Hey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i call out , but [he]1329-he does n’t stop . [I]0-i ’ve been known as innocent [my]0-i entire life and [I]0-i ’ve really attempted to break through that label — as [I]0-i do n’t like it — but [I]0-i ca n’t have [him]1329-he thinking that . So , [I]0-i untie [my]0-i robe and drop it to the ground . “ Would [you]1329-he call this outfit innocent ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ A robe is innocent , ”[1329-he] [he]1329-he says , not turning around . [I]1329-he ’m not wearing a robe . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he pauses and then slowly turns . [I]0-i ’m wearing [my]0-i black lace romper . It ’s a tank top with a deep V neckline , cinched at the waist , and then the attached shorts have high slits that blow open from the lightest of breezes . It ’s the most comfortable piece of clothing [I]0-i have , and yet , also the sexiest . There ’s a deliberate once - over , [his]1329-he eyes traveling from [my]0-i toes , up to [my]0-i legs , [my]0-i waist , and then [they]1329-he pause at [my]0-i chest , where [I]0-i know [my]0-i cleavage is giving [him]1329-he quite the show . When [his]1329-he eyes meet [mine]0-i , [he]1329-he wets [his]1329-he lips , [his]1329-he expression resembling that of a big - bad - wolf type than a simple acquaintance . “ Why the hell are [you]0-i wearing that ? ”[1329-he] [he]1329-he finally asks . “ This is what [I]1329-he wear at night . It ’s just one of the many pieces of lingerie [I]1329-he have in [my]1329-he dresser . ”[1329-he] “ Well , [I]1329-he suggest [you]0-i go change , ”[1329-he] [he]1329-he says , before turning around again . “ Excuse [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , walking after [him]1329-he . “ What do [you]1329-he mean , [I]0-i should go change ? ”[0-i] “ It ’s indecent , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[1329-he] Indecent ? This is indecent ? Coming from [the man who ’s walking around [the apartment]1333-the apartment]1332-the man who ’s walking around the apartment [without a shirt and in only a pair of shorts]1334-without a shirt and in only a pair of shorts . [I]0-i ’ve been kind to keep [my]0-i eyes north , but [we]1335-we all know [JP]87-jp does n’t wear underwear with those shorts and , yes , [I]0-i can see . . . things . So , if this is indecent , what the hell is [he]1329-he ? “ Is there some sort of acceptance of a double standard in [this penthouse]3468-this penthouse that [I]0-i ’m unaware of ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Because [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [I]0-i ’m more covered up than [you]0-i . ”[0-i] [He]1329-he keeps walking , ignoring [me]0-i . So , [I]0-i pick up [my]0-i pace , and when [I]0-i ’ve closed the distance between [us]1336-us , [I]0-i pull on [his]1329-he shoulder so [he]1329-he ’s forced to face [me]0-i . But [he]1329-he spins so fast , [I]0-i ’m caught off guard , and [he]1329-he pins [me]0-i against [the hallway wall]1337-the hallway wall , one hand on [my]0-i hip , the other still holding [his]1329-he water glass . [He]1329-he props it against the wall . Like scalding lasers , [his]1329-he eyes fixate on [me]0-i . “ Wh - what are [you]1329-he doing ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , a hitch in [my]0-i breath . [You]1329-he ’re tempting [me]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , and [I]0-i do n’t take too kindly to it . ”[0-i] “ How am [I]1329-he tempting [you]1329-he ? [I]1329-he ’m just . . . [I]1329-he ’m showing [you]1329-he [I]1329-he ’m not [the innocent peasant girl [you]1329-he think [I]1329-he am]3469-the innocent peasant girl you think i am . ”[1329-he] [He]1329-he lowers [his]1329-he body to set [his]1329-he water on the ground and when [he]1329-he comes back up , [his]1329-he chest is so close that [I]0-i can feel the heat coming off [him]1329-he . It wraps around [me]0-i in an unexpected grip . [The hallway]1132-the hallway fades to dark , the sparkling skyline a distant memory as [he]1329-he lowers [his]1329-he face so [we]1339-we ’re eye to eye . The hand pinning [me]0-i against the wall has slipped past one of the flaps of [my]0-i romper so [his]1329-he palm is directly on [my]0-i flesh , [his]1329-he thumb at the very end of the juncture of [my]0-i thigh . The small , barely - there touch causes the air to seize in [my]0-i lungs . [You]0-i could ’ve chosen any pajamas to bring with [you]0-i , and [you]0-i bring this . ”[1329-he] The backs of [his]1329-he fingers run along the neckline , to just above [my]0-i cleavage . “ So , unless [you]0-i plan on bedding [someone]364-someone while [you]0-i ’re here that [I]1329-he do n’t know about , [you]0-i brought this specifically knowing [you]0-i ’d be spending nights in [the same penthouse]3471-the same penthouse as [me]1329-he . ”[1329-he] “ This has nothing to do with [you]0-i and everything to do with comfort . ”[1329-he] [His]1329-he hand slides farther under the slit on the side , [his]1329-he fingers now curling around [my]0-i waist , imprinting themselves on [my]0-i skin . “ So , [you]0-i ’re telling [me]1329-he , if [you]0-i were sharing [a penthouse]1000-a penthouse with [Huxley]90-huxley instead , [you]0-i ’d have worn this ? ”[1329-he] “ No , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before [I]0-i can catch [myself]0-i . Shit . The truth of the matter is . . . [I]0-i would n’t have worn this around [Huxley]90-huxley . When [I]0-i ’ve stayed the night at [[their]1340-their house]1341-their house , [I]0-i wear something respectful because [I]0-i ’m not about to prance around in this romper near [[my]0-i soon - to - be brother - in - law]1342-my soon - to - be brother - in - law . That would be . . . weird . But did [I]0-i really wear this because of [JP]87-jp ? No . [I]0-i wore this because it ’s comfortable . [I]0-i mean . . . [I]0-i would n’t wear this around [him]87-jp because — ”[0-i] “ Because [he]87-jp ’s not single . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp ’s other hand caresses up [my]0-i side , and [I]0-i nearly slide down the wall from the touch . God , it ’s been so long . So long since [a male]1343-a male has touched [me]0-i . Having [JP]87-jp , [this incredibly sexy man]1344-this incredibly sexy man , come near [me]0-i has [me]0-i losing all sorts of intelligent thoughts . [You]0-i wore this to tempt [me]87-jp , admit it . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp leans [his]87-jp head forward so [we]1345-we ’re cheek to cheek and moves [his]87-jp hand to [my]0-i shoulder to one of the lace straps . [He]87-jp toys with it , [his]87-jp fingers delicately smoothing over the intricate lace . “ It ’s why [you]0-i keep coming after [me]87-jp to talk , because [you]0-i want this , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i do n’t , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , [my]0-i voice coming out all breathy . [He]87-jp tugs on the strap , moving it toward the end of [my]0-i shoulder . [You]0-i ’re [a fucking liar]3473-a fucking liar , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp whispers into [my]0-i ear , right before [he]87-jp tips the strap over [my]0-i shoulder so it falls down , the fabric around [my]0-i breasts barely hanging on . [I]0-i should move away . Tell [him]87-jp to stop . But . . . [I]0-i do n’t . Because [I]0-i know , deep in [my]0-i soul , that even though [JP]87-jp is n’t [the man for [me]0-i]1346-the man for me , because [he]87-jp ’s not [a relationship kind of guy]1347-a relationship kind of guy , [I]0-i ca n’t help [my]0-i attraction to [him]87-jp . [I]0-i ca n’t help but fall under [his]87-jp spell . And [I]0-i ca n’t help but want more . More in this moment . Keeping [his]87-jp mouth at [my]0-i ear , [he]87-jp gently runs [his]87-jp finger over [my]0-i collarbone . [You]0-i ’re glistening , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [Your]0-i breath is uneven , [your]0-i body is yearning for more , and [I]87-jp know for a fucking fact , that if [I]87-jp spread [your]0-i legs , [I]87-jp ’d find a wet cunt , begging for [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut , processing [his]87-jp words , words that have never been spoken to [me]0-i before . Ever . In [my]0-i entire life . And yet , they strike [me]0-i so deep in [my]0-i soul that [I]0-i can feel just how penetrating they are . [I]0-i know [he]87-jp ’s right . [I]0-i know [he]87-jp ’d be happy if [he]87-jp pressed two fingers inside of [me]0-i . “ Tell [me]87-jp it ’s the truth . ”[87-jp] Never . [I]0-i wo n’t give [him]87-jp the satisfaction of knowing that . [I]0-i ca n’t . [He]87-jp ’d hold it over [my]0-i head for a lifetime . So , [I]0-i keep [my]0-i mouth shut . “ Is that how [you]0-i ’re going to be , [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp nose now dragging over [my]0-i cheek . [You]0-i ’re not going to be truthful ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp fingers shuffle down [my]0-i chest , to [my]0-i nearly exposed breast . [I]0-i hold [my]0-i breath as [he]87-jp dances them over the loose fabric , [my]0-i mind screaming , pleading for [him]87-jp to pull the fabric down , to lift [my]0-i breast into [his]87-jp mouth . [Your]0-i nipple is hard . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp makes the briefest pass over it with [his]87-jp thumb — so brief that [I]0-i barely feel it — but it ’s enough to cause the lightest of moans to pop out of [my]0-i mouth . “ Mmmm , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp hums into [my]0-i ear . “ That ’s what [I]87-jp fucking thought . ”[87-jp] Then [he]87-jp takes hold of [my]0-i hand and slides it under the loose fabric at [my]0-i hip , bringing it to just above [my]0-i pubic bone . “ Tell [me]0-i this , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , do [you]89-kelsey have [your]89-kelsey vibrator with [you]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nearly choke on [my]0-i own saliva as [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Big mistake , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . [He]87-jp shifts [my]0-i hand lower until [my]0-i fingers slide along [my]0-i crease . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper . “ Fuck is right , [babe]2728-babe , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , then passes [his]87-jp hand over [mine]0-i and directs [me]0-i to massage [my]0-i clit . Unable to control anything at this point , [I]0-i allow [his]87-jp hand to move [mine]0-i . [I]0-i spread [my]0-i legs . “ That ’s right , make room . Tell [me]0-i — how wet are [you]0-i ? ”[0-i] On a heavy breath , [I]0-i say , “ Really wet . ”[0-i] So wet . Enough that [I]0-i could spend no more than a minute getting [myself]0-i off . [His]87-jp voice , [his]87-jp hands , [his]87-jp possessive actions , [they]1348-they ’re all setting [me]0-i off , prepping [me]0-i for what ’s to come next . And [I]0-i want whatever it is . [He]87-jp nibbles on [my]0-i earlobe — yes , just like that , more of that — and a breathy moan falls past [my]0-i lips . [I]0-i want more . [His]87-jp hands on [me]0-i . [His]87-jp mouth on [me]0-i . [His]87-jp[He]87-jp pulls [my]0-i hand out of [my]0-i shorts and pins it against the wall . [My]0-i eyes fly open , and when [he]87-jp pulls away , [he]87-jp looks [me]0-i in the eyes and says , [I]87-jp told [you]0-i , [you]0-i were fucking lying . ”[87-jp] And then , with [his]87-jp heated chest pressing against [mine]0-i , [he]87-jp sucks [my]0-i fingers into [his]87-jp mouth . [He]87-jp runs [his]87-jp tongue along the digits , licking [my]0-i arousal , and then quickly releases them with a pop . Oh [my]0-i God ! [He]87-jp pushes away , leaving [me]0-i like a puddle on the wall . “ Lie to [me]87-jp again , and [you]0-i wo n’t like what happens next time . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp licks [his]87-jp lips , [my]0-i taste wet on them , and then [he]87-jp grabs [his]87-jp glass and walks back to [[his]87-jp room]557-his room , shutting the door behind [him]87-jp . Holy . Fuck . Slowly , [I]0-i slide down the wall until [I]0-i ’m sitting on the floor . [I]0-i attempt to catch [my]0-i breath as [my]0-i heart beats wildly and [my]0-i clit hammers with the need for release . What . . . what was that ? [I]0-i stare at [his]87-jp door and attempt to make sense of it all , but all [my]0-i brain can come up with is . . . [my]0-i body wants more . [My]0-i body wants [him]87-jp . [My]0-i body wants to charge through [his]87-jp door , strip down to nothing , and let [him]87-jp take charge . [I]0-i move [my]0-i strap back up onto [my]0-i shoulder and attempt to stand on wobbly legs . Using the wall for assistance , [I]0-i walk back into [the living room]2689-the living room and grab [my]0-i items before heading to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , absolutely shook . [I]0-i wo n’t be reading tonight . [My]0-i body might want [him]87-jp , but [I]0-i know for certain , [my]0-i heart does n’t . And [his]87-jp heart does n’t want [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’ve seen the roulette of [women]2683-women on [his]87-jp phone , so [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m just [a speedbump]1353-a speedbump in [his]87-jp pursuit of pleasure . [He]87-jp ’s not for [me]0-i . [He]87-jp ’s [the type of man who can deliver an orgasm that [you]1355-your ’ll remember for the rest of [your]1355-your life]1354-the type of man who can deliver an orgasm that you ’ll remember for the rest of your life , but [he]87-jp ’ll break [your]1355-your heart in the long run . Lust is an addiction . But for [me]0-i , love wins over lust , and [I]0-i ’m searching for love . . .

* * *

[Kelsey]89-kelsey : [Lottie]89-kelsey , things are not going well . [Lottie]89-kelsey : What do [you]89-kelsey mean ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [You]89-kelsey have to swear [you]89-kelsey ’re not going to tell [Huxley]90-huxley . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Of course [I]0-i wo n’t . It ’s a form of foreplay , keeping innocent things away from [him]87-jp . Drives [him]87-jp nuts . So , please , more secrets . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [JP]87-jp almost made [me]0-i come . [Lottie]89-kelsey : WHAT ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i know . God , too much backstory , but before [I]0-i knew what was happening , [he]87-jp had [me]0-i pinned against the wall , forcing [me]0-i to massage [my]0-i clit . [I]0-i did it and then [he]87-jp sucked [my]0-i fingers . [Lottie]89-kelsey : What in the holy hell is happening over there ? Plus , [Huxley]90-huxley did that to [me]0-i once , when [we]1356-we hated [each other]333-each other , remember ? [I]0-i told [you]89-kelsey about it . It ’s the sexiest thing ever . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i nearly came when [his]87-jp mouth pulled on [my]0-i fingers . Why . . . why is this happening ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : [I]0-i told [you]0-i not to wear those pajamas . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : That ’s not helpful . [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]0-i know [he]87-jp ’s not [the guy for [me]0-i]1358-the guy for me , [I]0-i know this deep in [my]0-i soul . But , [God]92-god , [I]0-i could n’t have stopped [myself]0-i even if [I]0-i ’d wanted to tonight . [He]87-jp has this control over [me]0-i and [I]0-i find [myself]0-i just slipping into [his]87-jp touch . [I]0-i completely lost who [I]0-i was in that moment . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [You]89-kelsey say that as if it ’s a bad thing . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : It is . [I]0-i do n’t want a one - night stand . [I]0-i want to find love . [JP]87-jp is not [a man who offers orgasms and companionship]1359-a man who offers orgasms and companionship . [Lottie]89-kelsey : How do [you]89-kelsey know that ? Ever ask [him]87-jp ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Are [you]89-kelsey insane ? [I]0-i would never ask that . Plus , [he]87-jp ’s all about one - night stands . [Everyone]2734-everyone knows that . [I]0-i ’m an easy grab for [him]87-jp . [We]1361-we ’re sharing [a place]1012-a place , alone . . . it was bound to happen . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [I]0-i think there ’s more to [JP]87-jp than [you]89-kelsey know . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : There is , but when it comes to relationships , trust [me]0-i , [I]0-i know . * deep breaths * [I]0-i just need to refocus . [I]0-i got sidetracked [there]2954-there for a second and , sure , it was nice , but [I]0-i have that date with [Derek]166-derek on Friday . [I]0-i need to focus on that . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Yes , but remember what [I]0-i said — if there ’s any inkling that [you]89-kelsey might be starting something with [JP]87-jp , do n’t go on the date with [Derek]166-derek . [I]0-i do n’t want [you]89-kelsey hurting [him]166-derek . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i know . [I]0-i promise , nothing is happening between [me]0-i and [JP]87-jp . It was a momentary lapse of judgment . [I]0-i ’m glad [I]0-i talked it out . Now [I]0-i can move on . [I]0-i feel better now . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Are [you]89-kelsey sure ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Positive .

Chapter Twelve

[JP]87-jp

Standing at the kitchen counter , a cup of coffee in hand , [I]0-i lean against the cabinets , wearing only a pair of sweats as [Kelsey]89-kelsey comes strolling in . [Her]89-kelsey makeup ’s done , [her]89-kelsey hair expertly styled and hanging over [her]89-kelsey shoulders , and [she]89-kelsey ’s wearing a pair of high - waisted black business pants and a white blouse with a white camisole underneath . And to really fucking kick [me]0-i in the goddamn dick , [she]89-kelsey swiped on a dark red lipstick [I]0-i know matches [her]89-kelsey panties . [She]89-kelsey looks fucking delicious , and even though [she]89-kelsey claims [she]89-kelsey ’s not tempting [me]0-i , that red lipstick says differently after the conversation [we]1364-we had last night . Hell . . . [I]0-i lost control . [I]0-i keep telling [myself]0-i [I]0-i need to avoid [her]89-kelsey . That was the plan when [I]0-i first showed up at [this penthouse]3468-this penthouse , but [she]89-kelsey ’s gotten under [my]0-i skin . When [she]89-kelsey apologized , it actually meant something to [me]0-i . It ’s why [I]0-i asked [her]89-kelsey to lunch . [I]0-i reasoned that if [I]0-i start showing [her]89-kelsey a gentler side of [me]0-i , [she]89-kelsey might actually think differently about [me]0-i . And , fuck , it was working , but last night , when [she]89-kelsey said [she]89-kelsey was still going on that date , all hell froze over . It might have been stupid of [me]0-i , but [I]0-i kind of thought that if [I]0-i opened up — got [her]89-kelsey to enjoy [my]0-i company — [she]89-kelsey would n’t go on that date . [I]0-i thought [she]89-kelsey ’d go to the ball with [me]0-i instead . One lunch out is n’t going to change [her]89-kelsey mind , though . And then [she]89-kelsey went and sat on [my]0-i goddamn lap . All control flew right out the floor - to - ceiling windows . [I]0-i was just grasping on to anything that would keep [me]0-i from stripping [her]89-kelsey down and burying [my]0-i head between [her]89-kelsey legs . It was downhill from there . How [I]0-i ended up pushing [her]89-kelsey against the wall and digging [my]0-i fingers into [her]89-kelsey velvety skin , [I]0-i have no idea , but watching [her]89-kelsey cool , well - put - together façade combust was one of the sexiest things [I]0-i ’ve ever experienced . [I]0-i left [her]89-kelsey in [the hallway]1132-the hallway , the taste of [her]89-kelsey on [my]0-i tongue , and retreated to [[my]0-i bedroom]940-my bedroom . [I]0-i then released the pent - up energy in the shower . Fuck , [she]89-kelsey tasted magnificent , and [I]0-i have no clue how [I]0-i walked away from [her]89-kelsey after having [her]89-kelsey on [my]0-i tongue like that . [I]0-i wanted more . [I]0-i wanted to get down on [my]0-i knees and worship [her]89-kelsey . And now , this morning , seeing [her]89-kelsey dressed up for work , everything that happened last night is at the forefront of [my]0-i mind . “ Morning , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [she]89-kelsey steps into [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . [She]89-kelsey looks up from the bracelet [she]89-kelsey ’s attempting to fix on [her]89-kelsey wrist . “ Good morning , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says softly . [I]0-i set [my]0-i coffee down on the counter and reach out to help [her]89-kelsey . “ Let [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say softly , taking the small clasp in [my]0-i hand . “ Oh . . . thank [you]0-i , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , clearly stunned by [my]0-i gesture . Do n’t blame [her]89-kelsey . When [she]89-kelsey said [I]0-i had mood swings like [Tarzan]193-tarzan[I]0-i think that ’s how [she]89-kelsey put it — [she]89-kelsey was n’t wrong . [I]0-i ’ve been up and down . [I]0-i blame it on [my]0-i inability to control [my]0-i daily simmering anger . Anger over losing [[my]0-i father]1369-my father[[my]0-i best friend]328-my best friend — anger over [my]0-i job , and anger over the fact that [I]0-i like [this girl]2758-this girl , [I]0-i really fucking do , and [I]0-i ca n’t get [her]2758-this girl to look at [me]0-i the way [I]0-i want [her]2758-this girl to . [I]0-i take [my]0-i time fastening the clasp , and once it ’s on [her]2758-this girl wrist , [I]0-i pause for a second , letting [my]0-i fingers drag over [her]2758-this girl skin , and then [I]0-i go back to [my]0-i coffee . [Her]2758-this girl eyes flash to [mine]0-i and [she]2758-this girl slowly takes a step back . [I]0-i nod toward the oven . [Your]2758-this girl breakfast is warming in there . ”[0-i] [My]2758-this girl breakfast ? ”[2758-this girl] [she]2758-this girl asks , confused . “ Did [you]0-i order in ? ”[2758-this girl] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i reach for [my]0-i protein bar . “ Woke up early , could n’t sleep , so [I]0-i cooked [your]2758-this girl breakfast that [you]2758-this girl like , beans and all . ”[0-i] “ Why . . . why would [you]0-i do that ? ”[0-i] Because [I]0-i want [you]1372-you to think [I]0-i ’m [a good guy]1373-a good guy despite how [I]0-i act . [I]0-i want [you]1372-you to see that [I]0-i like [you]1372-you , but am afraid to tell [you]1372-you because there ’s a great possibility [you]1372-you will laugh in [my]0-i face . [I]0-i want [you]1372-you to give [me]0-i a chance . To date [me]0-i . . . [You]1372-you know , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , a simple thank [you]1372-you would be just fine . ”[1372-you] With protein bar in hand , [I]0-i consider going back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room to eat but , hell , [she]1375-you smells good , and [I]0-i ’m a glutton for punishment . So [I]0-i take a seat at the dining room table where [I]0-i ’ve already set up a place setting for [her]1375-you . [I]0-i hear [her]1375-you move around [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , grab [her]1375-you breakfast , and when [she]1375-you turns to sit at the table with [me]0-i , [she]1375-you notices the placemat . Once again , those hazel eyes of [hers]1375-you flash to [mine]0-i . Before [she]1375-you can question [me]0-i , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i was bored this morning . ”[0-i] Nervously , [she]1375-you takes a seat and sets down [her]1375-you plate . After [she]1375-you fixes [her]1375-you napkin on [her]1375-you lap , [she]1375-you glances up at [me]0-i and says , “ Thank [you]0-i for breakfast . ”[1375-you] “ Sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer and kick [my]0-i feet up on the chair next to [me]0-i . [I]0-i can feel [her]1375-you eyes still on [me]0-i when [I]0-i ’m opening [my]0-i protein bar . When [I]0-i finally look up , [I]0-i ask , “ Can [I]0-i help [you]1375-you ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m just confused , is all . It seemed like [you]1375-you were mad at [me]0-i last night and now [you]1375-you made [me]0-i breakfast . . . [I]0-i do n’t know how to process this . ”[0-i] [I]1375-you was n’t mad at [you]1375-you last night . ”[1375-you] [You]1375-you threatened [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . “ That was n’t a threat , more like . . . a warning . ”[0-i] “ So , [you]1375-you warned [me]0-i last night . And if that ’s the case , then maybe [I]0-i should warn [you]1375-you . ”[0-i] This should be good . “ Okay , what do [you]1375-you need to warn [me]0-i about ? ”[0-i] “ Well . . . [you]1375-you should n’t be walking around without a shirt on . ”[0-i] “ Uh - huh , ”[0-i] [I]0-i drag out . “ And what ’s going to happen to [me]1377-i if [I]1377-i do ? ”[1377-i] [She]1377-i stabs a forkful of eggs . [You]0-i do n’t want to know . ”[1377-i] [I]0-i do , actually . [I]0-i really want to know . ”[0-i] “ Fine . ”[1377-i] [She]1377-i shrugs . “ If [you]0-i walk around without a shirt on , [I]1377-i will too . ”[1377-i] A loud laugh escapes [me]0-i . “ And [you]1375-you consider that a punishment ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance down at [my]0-i bare chest and back at [her]1377-i . [My]0-i shirt is off now , so please , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , go ahead and punish [me]0-i . Strip out of that starchy blouse of [yours]1377-i . Show [me]0-i the good stuff . ”[0-i] “ Ugh . ”[1377-i] [She]1377-i rolls [her]1377-i eyes . “ Why are [you]0-i so insufferable ? [I]1377-i ’m just trying to make things comfortable for [us]3475-us , but [you]0-i ’re either angry , teasing [me]1377-i , or . . . well . . . [you]0-i know . ”[1377-i] [I]1377-i do n’t know . Please finish that sentence . ”[1377-i] [She]1377-i pins [me]0-i with a glare . [You]0-i ’re . . . well , touching [me]1377-i intimately . ”[1377-i] “ That was barely touching [you]0-i last night . And correct [me]1377-i if [I]1377-i ’m wrong , but [you]0-i seemed to like it . . . a lot . ”[1377-i] [I]1377-i was faking it . ”[1377-i] That makes [me]0-i nearly spit out [my]0-i coffee . [Babe]91-babe , [I]1377-i tasted [you]0-i off [your]0-i finger last night . [You]0-i ca n’t fake that . ”[1377-i] “ Do n’t call [me]1377-i [babe]2728-babe . ”[1377-i] [She]1377-i scoops up some beans . “ Can [we]3477-we just be [friends]2684-friends ? ”[1377-i] “ What did [I]1377-i tell [you]0-i about workplace friendships ? ”[1377-i] “ That was some load of bullshit . [I]0-i ’m friends with [Huxley]90-huxley and [Breaker]97-breaker . So do n’t tell [me]0-i [I]0-i ca n’t be friends with [you]0-i . [You]0-i just do n’t want to be friend - zoned because [you]0-i want in [my]0-i pants . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smirk at that . [I]0-i do want in [your]0-i pants . ”[0-i] [Her]1377-i eyes flash to [mine]0-i as [her]1377-i cheeks blush . Flustered , [she]1377-i says , “ Well , that ’s not an option for [you]0-i . So , why do n’t [we]3479-we just put that behind [us]3479-we and move on ? [We]3479-we can be [friends]2684-friends . It ’s simple . [We]3479-we just need to do friendly type of things . ”[1377-i] Interested , [I]0-i ask , “ Okay , what are friendly type of things ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ca n’t think of anything off the top of [my]0-i head , but — oh , [we]3479-we could go sightseeing . ”[0-i] “ Why does that sound not the least bit interesting to [me]1377-i ? ”[1377-i] “ It ’s totally a friend thing to do . [You]1377-i ’ve been [here]2716-here before , clearly , so why do n’t [we]3479-we do that after [I]0-i ’m done with [my]0-i last meeting ? [You]1377-i could show [me]0-i around . [I]0-i can take pictures in all the obvious places . It could be fun and [we]3479-we could get to know [each other]333-each other . ”[0-i] “ It does n’t sound fun to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp ! ”[1378-her] [she]1378-her shouts , surprising [me]0-i . “ Stop being difficult , and for the love of [God]92-god , just go sightseeing with [me]1378-her . [Good God]92-god . ”[1378-her] Chuckling , [I]0-i nod . “ Okay , no need to get all riled up . [We]3479-we can go sightseeing , but [I]0-i ’ll tell [you]1377-i this — [I’ll]0-i be [a bastard]949-a bastard the whole time . ”[0-i] “ It would n’t be an evening out with [you]0-i if [you]0-i were n’t . ”[1378-her] [She]1378-her dabs [her]1378-her mouth with [her]1378-her napkin . [My]1378-her last meeting is at two today . After [I]1378-her get back , [I]1378-her ’ll change , and then [we]3484-we can hit [the town]3485-the town . How does that sound ? ”[1378-her] “ Like a nightmare . ”[0-i] [I]0-i tilt [my]0-i coffee cup toward [her]1378-her . “ Ca n’t wait . ”[0-i] Then [I]0-i stand from [my]0-i chair and , with coffee cup and protein bar in hand , [I]0-i head toward [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , only to stop midway . [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] “ Yes ? ”[1378-her] [she]1378-her asks , fork poised near [her]1378-her mouth . “ Just so [you]0-i know , [you]0-i can act like [we]3484-we ’re [friends]2684-friends all [you]0-i want , but know this . . . [I]1378-her can still taste [your]1378-her sweet cunt on [my]1378-her tongue . ”[1378-her] And then , with a smile on [my]0-i face , [I]0-i turn away from [her]1378-her and head into [[my]0-i bedroom]940-my bedroom . This is exactly what [I]0-i needed , some more alone time with [her]1378-her . Now , let ’s see if [I]0-i can keep [my]0-i sarcasm toned down when that happens .

* * *

[This place]2765-this place is so cute , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as [she]89-kelsey walks next to [me]0-i , taking in everything around [us]1381-us . “ It ’s [hemorrhaging tourists]3488-hemorrhaging tourists , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Which is exactly what [we]1381-us wanted , right ? ”[89-kelsey] “ What [you]89-kelsey wanted . This is not [my]0-i idea of fun in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . ”[0-i] [I]0-i dodge [a couple who are sharing a soft pretzel]1382-a couple who are sharing a soft pretzel . “ Ooo , [they]1382-a couple who are sharing a soft pretzel have a carousel . Let ’s ride it . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’re out of [your]0-i goddamn mind if [you]0-i think [I]89-kelsey ’m going to ride a carousel . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey gives [me]0-i a playful grin and then pulls on [my]0-i arm . “ It ’ll be fun . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]89-kelsey ’m serious , [I]89-kelsey ’m not riding that thing . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey gets [us]1383-we in line and [I]0-i attempt to leave , but [she]89-kelsey loops [her]89-kelsey arm through [mine]0-i and surprisingly holds [me]0-i in place . “ Loosen up . This is what [friends]2684-friends do — silly things like this . [You]0-i can take a boomerang of [me]89-kelsey on a horse . ”[89-kelsey] “ What the hell is a boomerang ? ”[89-kelsey] “ On Instagram , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , as if [I]0-i ’m [an idiot]3099-an idiot . “ That clarifies nothing . ”[89-kelsey] “ It ’s what [we]1383-we did in front of [the Full House houses]3490-the full house houses . ”[89-kelsey] Yes , [we]1383-we were [those people]1385-those people . [We]1383-we searched [them]1385-those people out , [the Painted Ladies]1386-the painted ladies to be exact , and [we]1383-we stood in front of [them]1385-those people while taking weird back - and - forth pictures . From there , [we]1383-we stopped by [the actual house from [Full House]33-full house , where [I]0-i took a dozen pictures of [Kelsey]89-kelsey posing]1387-the actual house from full house , where i took a dozen pictures of kelsey posing . [She]89-kelsey forced [me]0-i to take a picture with [her]89-kelsey , which [she]89-kelsey texted to [me]0-i , saying how adorable [we]1383-we look as [friends]2684-friends . Fucking . . . great . After that , [we]1383-we came down to [the pier]1389-the pier , where [we]1383-we are , as [you]1390-you know , currently in line for the carousel . “ How many times have [you]0-i been up [here]2716-here ? [San Francisco]21-san francisco , that is , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks . “ More than [I]0-i can count , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ Have [you]89-kelsey ever been to [Pier 39]34-pier 39 ? ”[0-i] “ A few times . Took a date [here]2716-here once . ”[89-kelsey] “ Oooo , a date , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says in such an annoying tone . “ Tell [me]89-kelsey more . [I]89-kelsey did n’t think [Jack Parker]100-jack dated . ”[89-kelsey] “ Not [my]89-kelsey name . ”[89-kelsey] “ A solid guess . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smirks . “ It was a few years ago . [We]1383-we went out for fun and ended the night in [my]89-kelsey bed . Worth the inconvenience of coming down here . ”[89-kelsey] “ Let [me]89-kelsey guess — since [I]89-kelsey wo n’t be ending up in [your]89-kelsey bed — this is n’t worth the inconvenience ? ”[89-kelsey] “ There ’s always time for that to turn around , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer honestly . “ Not happening . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey pats [my]0-i forearm . “ But nice try . So , tell [me]89-kelsey , have [you]0-i ever had [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ Care to elaborate ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks as [we]1391-we take a few steps forward in line . “ Not really . ”[89-kelsey] “ Oh , is it one of those stories where [she]3493-a girlfriend was [the one and only girl to break [your]0-i heart]3494-the one and only girl to break your heart ? ”[89-kelsey] [We]1391-we keep slowly moving forward as [the carousel]1392-the carousel loads up . “ No , actually . [I]1391-we was the one who broke [her]3493-a girlfriend heart . ”[1391-we] [You]1391-we were ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks . “ Was [she]3493-a girlfriend in love with [you]0-i ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ And [you]0-i were n’t ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . [I]0-i was n’t . And [I]0-i did n’t think it was fair to keep dating [her]3493-a girlfriend if [I]0-i knew the feelings were n’t going to grow in that direction , so [I]0-i broke up with [her]3493-a girlfriend . [She]3493-a girlfriend threw a milkshake in [my]0-i face and then stormed away . ”[0-i] “ Oh [my]0-i God , [she]3493-a girlfriend threw a milkshake in [your]0-i face ? What flavor was it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Why does that matter ? ”[0-i] “ Ca n’t be sure , but [you]0-i know , details make a story . ”[0-i] [I]0-i believe it was vanilla , another reason why [I]0-i knew [we]1394-we were n’t supposed to be together . Vanilla milkshakes are boring . ”[0-i] “ Hey , no , they ’re not . [They]3495-they ’re the original . [You]0-i ’re not going to get another flavor without [them]3495-they . Do n’t knock the vanilla milkshake . ”[0-i] “ Is that what [you]0-i order ? ”[0-i] “ Of course not . ”[1393-her] [She]1393-her flips [her]1393-her hair over [her]1393-her shoulder . “ Strawberry is obviously what [I]1393-her get . ”[1393-her] [I]0-i chuckle , and [we]1394-we make it to the front of the line , just to be stopped because [the carousel]1392-the carousel is full . [Kelsey]89-kelsey turns toward [me]0-i and leans against the gate . “ What ’s [your]0-i milkshake order ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Chocolate . ”[1393-her] “ Could ’ve guessed that . [You]0-i ’re so predictable . ”[0-i] [I]0-i scoff at that . “ And strawberry milkshake was n’t predictable ? All [you]0-i have to do is say hi , and [everyone]2734-everyone knows [you]0-i ’re [a strawberry milkshake girl]3497-a strawberry milkshake girl . ”[0-i] “ Nothing wrong with that . So , [this girl]2758-this girl threw a milkshake in [your]0-i face when [you]0-i broke up with [her]2758-this girl . Was there anything that happened after that , or was the milkshake where it ended ? ”[1393-her] [I]0-i wince and smooth [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i jaw . [We]1394-we had breakup sex that night , but after that , it was over . ”[0-i] “ Oh , [Jean - Pierre]194-jean - pierre . . . ”[0-i] “ Not [my]89-kelsey name . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey snaps in disappointment . “ Still , sex after [you]0-i broke up with [her]2758-this girl ? Kind of skeezy , do n’t [you]0-i think ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Never said [I]0-i made the best choices , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say unapologetically . “ How long ago was this relationship ? ”[0-i] “ Eh , like two , three years ago . [I]89-kelsey think [she]2758-this girl ’s engaged now . At least that ’s what [I]89-kelsey surmised when [she]2758-this girl ‘ accidentally ’ texted [me]89-kelsey a photo of [her]2758-this girl engagement ring . [She]2758-this girl said it was meant for [someone else]2834-someone else . ”[89-kelsey] “ Oh , surrrrrre , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says , dragging it out , which makes [me]0-i smile . “ That ’s what [they]3500-they all say . [She]2758-this girl sent [you]89-kelsey that picture on purpose to try to make [you]89-kelsey jealous . Were [you]89-kelsey ? Jealous , that is ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Not in the slightest . Honestly , it ’s shitty to say , but [I]89-kelsey ’d kind of forgotten about [her]2758-this girl until that text . ”[89-kelsey] “ And since then , [you]89-kelsey ’ve been a lone wolf ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , nothing wrong with that . ”[89-kelsey] “ Not saying there is , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says as the carousel slows . [I]0-i pull out [my]0-i wallet to pay for the ride — a ride [I]0-i did n’t think [I]0-i ’d be going on — and grab a ten - dollar bill to pay for [the both of [us]1396-the both of us]1396-the both of us . “ Just fascinating . [I]1397-the attendant , on the other hand , am single because . . . well , apparently [I]1397-the attendant ’m unlovable . ”[1397-the attendant] [You]89-kelsey know for damn sure that ’s not the truth , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i hand [the attendant]1397-the attendant [our]1396-the both of us money and [he]1397-the attendant opens the gate . “ What do [they]3501-they always say . . . [you]0-i just have n’t found [the right person]3502-the right person yet ? ”[1397-the attendant] “ But do [you]0-i truly believe that ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks as [she]89-kelsey hops up on [the carousel]1392-the carousel and finds a blue horse . [I]0-i take the yellow one next to [her]89-kelsey and straddle it , feeling like [a complete idiot]1399-a complete idiot . [I]0-i ’m [a grown man riding a yellow horse]1400-a grown man riding a yellow horse . This is incredibly off - brand for [me]0-i . “ Sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer offhandedly , because [I]0-i really do n’t know what [I]0-i believe when it comes to that kind of shit . “ That ’s not very convincing . ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t know what [you]89-kelsey want [me]0-i to say . [You]89-kelsey ’re hot , so there ’s instant attraction . In the work environment , [you]89-kelsey ’re cool , professional , and obviously know sustainability issues front to back . Having spent more time with [you]89-kelsey recently , [I]0-i ’ve learned that [you]89-kelsey always want to get [your]89-kelsey way , in a . . . pestering , control - freak way , and [I]0-i ’m seeing more she - devil behavior that [I]0-i ’m not sure [many people]1156-many people know is there . But there ’s got to be [someone out there who likes that kind of thing]3504-someone out there who likes that kind of thing . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shrug . [I]0-i like [her]1401-she , even when the she - devil comes out . Regardless , [I]0-i ’m drawn to [her]1401-she . “ Wow , ”[1401-she] [she]1401-she says , smiling . “ What a lovely picture [you]0-i ’ve painted of [me]1401-she . ”[1401-she] The bell rings and the carousel starts moving so [she]1401-she drops the conversation , pulls out [her]1401-she phone , and starts snapping pictures . “ What do [you]1401-she plan on doing with those pictures ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]1401-she as the carousel picks up speed . “ Blackmail , of course . ”[0-i] [She]1401-she smirks and then takes a selfie of [the both of [us]1396-the both of us]1396-the both of us . [I]1401-she ’d expect nothing less . ”[1401-she]

* * *

[JP]87-jp , put it on . ”[1401-she] “ If [you]1401-she think [I]1401-she ’m wearing that , [you]1401-she ’ve lost [your]1401-she goddamn mind . [I]1401-she ’ve already ridden the carousel , taken those stupid boomerang things on a trolley , and pretended to hold Alcatraz in [my]1401-she hand . [I]1401-she draw the line at wearing a goddamn bib at dinner . ”[1401-she] [You]1401-she ’re being [a snob]3505-a snob . ”[1401-she] “ Because [I]1401-she do n’t want to wear a bib ? ”[1401-she] “ Precisely . ”[1401-she] [She]1401-she gestures to [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . “ It ’s part of the experience . ”[1401-she] An experience [I]0-i did n’t want . [She]1401-she chose where [we]1396-the both of us were going to eat and , of course , [she]1401-she picked the popular tourist attraction , [the Crab House]1404-the crab house , which , granted , [I]0-i heard has amazing food . But the vibe is not [me]0-i . [I]0-i do n’t do plastic bibs . [I]0-i ’m good with missing out on the experience . ”[0-i] [Joo - Joo Poo - Poo]195-joo - joo poo - poo , put on the bib . ”[1401-she] “ Is [Joo - Joo Poo - Poo]195-joo - joo poo - poo supposed to be a guess of [my]1401-she name ? ”[1401-she] “ Yes . . . is that not correct ? ”[0-i] “ Not even close . ”[1401-she] “ Damn , [I]1401-she would ’ve absolutely snorted all over this table if it was . ”[1401-she] “ Attractive . ”[0-i] “ Here [we]1396-the both of us are , ”[1405-our waitress] [[our]1396-the both of us waitress]1405-our waitress says , setting down a giant — and [I]0-i mean giant , baking sheet - sized — skillet of two cooked crabs and a plate of fries between [us]1396-the both of us , along with melted butter in ramekins . “ Enjoy . ”[0-i] “ Wow , that ’s a lot of crab , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says . “ But [I]89-kelsey ’ve worked up quite the appetite . ”[89-kelsey] And before [I]0-i can even consider picking up a fry , [she]89-kelsey snaps a leg off a crab and smiles at [me]0-i . Uhh . . . The crunch , the ninja - like way [she]89-kelsey just did that , the satisfaction in [her]89-kelsey face . . . makes [me]0-i think [I]0-i should be scared for [my]0-i life . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks with a smirk . “ It ’s startling how quickly [you]0-i snapped off that leg . ”[89-kelsey] “ Let that be a reminder to [you]0-i , [JP]87-jp . Do n’t cross [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ Clearly . ”[0-i] [I]0-i reach for the crab and , gently , because [I]0-i ’m not [some sort of barbarian]1406-some sort of barbarian , remove a leg and pull out the meat . When [I]0-i dip it into the butter , [I]0-i watch it drip , and drip . . . and drip . Fuck . When [I]0-i glance up at [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey ’s just smiling at [me]0-i with that knowing grin of [hers]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey lifts up the plastic bib and wiggles it at [me]0-i . “ Just give it to [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , snatching it from [her]89-kelsey grasp , causing [her]89-kelsey to tip [her]89-kelsey head back and laugh . [I]0-i fix the bib around [my]0-i neck and scoot [my]0-i chair closer to the table . “ Oh , do n’t [you]89-kelsey look adorable ? ”[0-i] “ If [you]0-i take a picture , [I]89-kelsey ’m going to — ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey lifts [her]89-kelsey phone and smiles just as [I]0-i see [her]89-kelsey finger press against the screen . “ Oops , too late . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smiles again and stares at the screen . “ Ooo , this might be [my]89-kelsey favorite of the night . It ’s [a keeper]3506-a keeper . ”[89-kelsey] “ Teasing [[your]0-i boss]3507-your boss is n’t in [your]0-i best interest . ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i ’re technically not [[my]1407-me boss]3508-my boss as [you]0-i just oversee things . If [we]3509-we want to get down to the nitty - gritty , [[my]1407-me boss]3508-my boss is [Huxley]90-huxley , as [you]0-i ’ve pointed out to [me]1407-me , and [I]1407-me ’m sure [he]3508-my boss ’ll give [me]1407-me a raise once [he]3508-my boss sees the ‘ data ’ [I]1407-me ’ve collected tonight . ”[1407-me] Unfortunately , [I]0-i think [she]1407-me ’s correct . [I]1407-me ’ll still report insubordination . ”[1407-me] “ Good luck with that . ”[1407-me] [She]1407-me winks and then rips loose another crab leg . “ Now , will [you]0-i please tell [me]1407-me why [this place]2765-this place is n’t suitable for [you]0-i ? Clearly , the crab is delicious , the views are amazing , the attire . . . top - notch . How could this not appeal to [you]0-i ? ”[1407-me] “ It ’s gimmicky . ”[1407-me] [She]1407-me rolls [her]1407-me eyes . “ Just what [I]1407-me thought , [you]0-i ’re [a snob]3505-a snob . Do n’t hate on [a place that does it right for [the people who come to visit]3514-the people who come to visit]3513-a place that does it right for the people who come to visit . This is fulfilling dreams for [me]1407-me right now . Eating crab by [the pier]1389-the pier , [boats just outside the window in [the bay]3517-the bay]3516-boats just outside the window in the bay , the old subway tile from floor to ceiling , and the simple dining room tables that are n’t quite nautical but offer nautical vibes . This is everything . So , excuse [me]1407-me if [I]1407-me find this completely fulfilling . Now if only [the grump sitting across from [me]1407-me]3518-the grump sitting across from me would lighten up . ”[1407-me] “ This just is n’t [my]1408-she ideal night . ”[1408-she] “ Uh - huh . [You]0-i say that as if [you]0-i have an ideal night in mind . ”[1408-she] [I]1408-she do . ”[1408-she] [I]0-i pop a fry into [my]0-i mouth , and [my]0-i answer causes [her]1408-she to grow a curious look . [She]1408-she leans forward , [her]1408-she hand supporting [her]1408-she chin as [she]1408-she says , “ Oh , please , do tell . ”[1408-she] [I]0-i do n’t have to tell [you]1408-she , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i ’m going to show [you]1408-she . ”[0-i] “ Show [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . “ Tomorrow night , when [you]0-i ’re done with [your]0-i meetings . [I]1408-she ’m showing [you]0-i what [my]1408-she ideal night in [San Francisco]21-san francisco is . ”[1408-she] [She]1408-she spreads [her]1408-she hand on the table and in a dramatic tone , [she]1408-she asks , “ Wait , so this friendship [we]1409-we ’re developing , it is n’t just a one - night thing ? ”[1408-she] “ This is n’t a friendship , it ’s a . . . short - term companionship . ”[1408-she] [She]1408-she laughs out loud , and the addictive sound draws the attention of the tables around [us]1409-we . “ Wow , no wonder [you]0-i ’re in charge of the media for [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises . [You]0-i sure know how to spin things . Okay , [I]1408-she ’ll bite . This short - term companionship , it ’s going to continue tomorrow ? ”[1408-she] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , taking another fry . Have to admit , this shit is good , despite the goddamn bib . “ And [I]1408-she ’ll show [you]0-i exactly what a night out on [the town]3485-the town is like . ”[1408-she] “ Bet it wo n’t be better than tonight . ”[1408-she] “ Guaranteed it will be . ”[1408-she] “ Listen , [Julian Prince]196-julian prince . . . ”[1408-she] [She]1408-she pauses with a wince , waiting to see if [she]1408-she ’s correct . [I]0-i just shake [my]0-i head , and [her]1408-she shoulders droop . [I]0-i gathered damning evidence of [you]0-i on a carousel and wearing a bib . Nothing is going to beat this . ”[0-i] “ That ’s what [you]1408-she think , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before grabbing another crab leg .

* * *

“ Okay . . . admit it , this is good , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says around [her]89-kelsey mouthful of ice cream . When [I]0-i first met [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i thought [she]89-kelsey was [this hot , uptight organizer with a dream to fall in love]1410-this hot , uptight organizer with a dream to fall in love . But [I]0-i now realize that [she]89-kelsey had maintained [her]89-kelsey guarded , professional façade even when [we]1411-we were hanging out with [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey at [[their]1412-their house]1341-their house . But slowly , as this night has unfolded , [I]0-i ’ve seen [her]89-kelsey relax more and more . [She]89-kelsey ’s now talking to [me]0-i with ice cream on [her]89-kelsey lips and fudge on the corner of [her]89-kelsey mouth . It ’s . . . hell , it ’s endearing . [She]89-kelsey ’s dropped that shield of perfection and [I]0-i like this side of [her]89-kelsey . Sort of unpredictable , and a whole lot relatable . “ Come on . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey nudges [me]0-i with [her]89-kelsey elbow and [I]0-i decide to give in . “ Yes , this is good . ”[89-kelsey] “ Ha , [I]89-kelsey knew it . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey holds [her]89-kelsey fudge - covered spoon in the air . [I]89-kelsey knew [I]89-kelsey ’d get [you]0-i . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey did n’t get [me]89-kelsey , [Ghirardelli]35-ghirardelli did . ”[89-kelsey] After [we]1414-we had dinner , [Kelsey]89-kelsey demanded that [we]1414-we head up [the hill]1415-the hill to [Ghirardelli]35-ghirardelli to get dessert . It was a bit of a hike , so by the time [we]1414-we got [there]2954-there , dinner was partially digested and [we]1414-we were ready to dig into dessert . [We]1414-we decided to share a classic hot - fudge sundae . [We]1414-we found a table in [the middle of [the busy restaurant]1418-the busy restaurant]1417-the middle of the busy restaurant . Where [I]0-i would ’ve rather walked around outside to eat , [she]89-kelsey once again wanted the full experience . So [we]1414-we ’re crowded around a round bistro table with a marble top , [people]2736-people all around [us]1414-we , enjoying [their]2736-people sundaes just as much as [we]1414-we are . It ’s chaotic . It ’s loud . And [I]0-i hate to admit it , but it ’s the perfect ending to [our]1414-we evening . “ Oh my God , look over there , [that couple]3520-that couple is making out . ”[89-kelsey] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [She]89-kelsey points with [her]89-kelsey spoon . “ Right there , in the corner . What do [you]0-i think — first date ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Do [you]89-kelsey do that on a first date ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i ask [her]89-kelsey . “ Because from what [I]89-kelsey recall of [our]1414-we first and only date , [you]89-kelsey were pricklier than that . ”[89-kelsey] “ Because [I]0-i was expecting to meet [the man of [my]0-i dreams]3521-the man of my dreams , and instead it was [the man of [my]0-i nightmares]3522-the man of my nightmares . ”[0-i] [I]0-i clutch [my]0-i heart . [You]0-i wound [me]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey nudges [my]0-i shoulder playfully . “ But look at [us]1414-we now , living out a short - term companionship . Miracles do happen . ”[89-kelsey] “ Do n’t let it get to [your]0-i head . [We]1414-we ’re barely a short - term companionship . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey do n’t know , [you]89-kelsey agreed to a second outing with [me]89-kelsey , so it seems like [we]1414-we ’re committed to each other . If that does n’t smell of short - term companionship , [I]89-kelsey do n’t know what does . ”[89-kelsey] “ Christ , [you]89-kelsey ’re incessantly annoying tonight . ”[89-kelsey] “ Just a dash of what [I]89-kelsey have to deal with when [I]89-kelsey ’m hanging out with [you]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] And witty . [I]0-i scoop up another spoonful of [our]1420-our sundae but focus more on the ice cream than the fudge . [I]0-i ’ve noticed [Kelsey]89-kelsey is very much into the fudge and figured [I]0-i ’d let [her]89-kelsey have more . See , [I]0-i can be [a good guy]1373-a good guy . “ So , [you]89-kelsey never answered the question . Is that what [you]89-kelsey do on a first date ? Make out in the corner of [a chocolate store]3523-a chocolate store so [romance voyeurs like [yourself]89-kelsey]3524-romance voyeurs like yourself can watch the sideshow of lip - locking ? ”[0-i] “ Maybe when [I]89-kelsey was twenty - one [I]89-kelsey would ’ve been more likely to make out in [a restaurant]3525-a restaurant , but now that [I]89-kelsey ’m [a respectable lady in [her]89-kelsey mid - twenties]3526-a respectable lady in her mid - twenties , [I]89-kelsey have standards . [I]89-kelsey expect a good meal , great conversation , and then , if [I]89-kelsey ’ve been dazzled by the end of the night , [I]89-kelsey ’ll lean in for a kiss . ”[89-kelsey] “ Dazzled , huh ? What does it take to dazzle [you]89-kelsey ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Taking notes ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks with a raised brow . “ Yes , on how to do the opposite , [you]89-kelsey know , because if [I]89-kelsey ’m not annoying [you]89-kelsey , then what am [I]89-kelsey actually doing with [my]89-kelsey life ? ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey face falls flat , and [I]0-i chuckle . “ Well , if that ’s the case , [I]0-i ’ll be keeping [my]0-i dazzling to [myself]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nudge [her]89-kelsey under the table with [my]0-i foot . “ Just tell [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey studies [me]0-i for a second and then says , “ Well , first of all , [he]3527-he ca n’t be full of [himself]3527-he . [He]3527-he needs to have a level head , and be a good listener , but also not be afraid to talk about [himself]3527-he . [Family]198-family is important to [me]89-kelsey , so [I]89-kelsey want to know that [he]3527-he ’s close to [[his]3527-he family]3528-his family . Hmm , what else ? Oh , a self - deprecating story is always good , because then [I]89-kelsey know [he]3527-he does n’t take [himself]3527-he too seriously . [I]89-kelsey also like little touches here and there , but nothing too over the top . [I]89-kelsey like to know that [he]3527-he ’s interested without crowding [me]89-kelsey . And of course , interesting questions , a conversation that just flows . Also , [I]89-kelsey ’m super into a good smile , kind eyes , and [a man who pulls a chair out for [me]89-kelsey]3529-a man who pulls a chair out for me . [A gentleman]3530-a gentleman . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i slowly nod . “ There was a column [I]0-i used to read , called ‘ [The Modern Gentleman]3531-the modern gentleman . ’ [He]3527-he always said to open the door for [[your]0-i girl]3532-your girl , but as [she]3532-your girl walks through that door , be sure to run [your]0-i hand along [her]3532-your girl ass so [she]3532-your girl knows who [she]3532-your girl belongs to . Is that what [you]0-i ’re looking for ? ”[0-i] [She]1422-you blinks a few times and then turns [her]1422-you attention to the sundae . [I]0-i mean , [I]0-i would n’t be mad about it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . [I]0-i ’m going to take that as a yes . [You]1422-you know , that ’s a pretty high standard [you]1422-you ’re requiring [a man]2703-a man to live up to . ”[0-i] “ Should [I]1422-you feel guilty about that ? ”[1422-you] [she]1422-you says in challenge . Not even having to think about it , [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No , [I]0-i do n’t think so . Why settle when [you]1422-you know what [you]1422-you want ? Although , do n’t [you]1422-you think [you]1422-you were settling with [Edwin]142-edwin ? ”[0-i] [Edwin]142-edwin was clearly a momentary lapse of judgment . Frankly , [I]0-i blame [you]1422-you for [Edwin]142-edwin . ”[0-i] [Me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i point to [my]0-i chest . “ Why do [you]1422-you blame [me]0-i ? [I]0-i did n’t force [you]1422-you to go out with [the dweeb]3534-the dweeb . ”[0-i] [He]142-edwin was n’t [a dweeb]3535-a dweeb , [he]142-edwin was just . . . dweebish . ”[0-i] “ If that makes [you]1422-you feel better , sure . But not sure why [you]1422-you ’re blaming [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Because , that dinner [we]3536-we had at [the blind date restaurant]2732-the blind date restaurant was atrocious . It made [me]0-i think [I]0-i had to lower [my]0-i standards . ”[0-i] “ It was n’t that bad , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [You]1422-you were n’t the one who was there to meet [someone]364-someone . [You]1422-you were there to fulfill a bet . [I]0-i was honestly excited . It might have seemed entertaining to [you]1422-you , but it was more disheartening to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] Now that actually makes [me]0-i feel bad . [I]0-i never thought about it that way , and before [I]0-i know it , guilt consumes [me]0-i . “ Sorry , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , looking [her]1423-her in the eyes . [I]0-i was [an idiotic , prideful man]3539-an idiotic , prideful man that night . [You]1422-you wounded [my]0-i pride when [I]0-i first showed up , and [I]0-i did n’t shake it off . [I]0-i tried to bring [you]1422-you down with [me]0-i . [I]0-i should n’t have done that . ”[0-i] [She]1423-her pauses , [her]1423-her spoon midway to [her]1423-her mouth as [she]1423-her says , “ Wow , uh . . . thanks , [JP]87-jp . ”[1423-her] [She]1423-her grins while bringing [her]1423-her spoon to [her]1423-her mouth . “ Carousel , pictures , bibs . . . and an apology . Dare [I]1423-her say , this might be one of [my]1423-her favorite nights ever ? A vast improvement from [the blind date restaurant]2732-the blind date restaurant . This whole ‘ short - term companionship ’ thing is actually rather enjoyable . ”[1423-her] “ Glad [I]1423-her could make it up to [you]0-i . ”[1423-her] [You]0-i did . . . [Josiah Phoenix]199-josiah phoenix . ”[1423-her] “ Close . ”[1423-her] [Her]1423-her eyes widen with excitement . “ Really ? ”[1423-her] [I]0-i laugh . “ No . ”[0-i] “ Ugh . ”[1423-her] [She]1423-her pushes [me]0-i . “ That was just mean . ”[1423-her] [I]0-i found it entertaining . ”[0-i] [I]0-i exchange a smirk with [her]1423-her , which to [my]0-i goddamn delight . . . [she]1423-her reciprocates .

* * *

“ Can [you]0-i roll [me]89-kelsey to [[my]89-kelsey room]1114-my room ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks as [she]89-kelsey collapses to the floor of [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse and takes off [her]89-kelsey shoes . [I]89-kelsey do n’t think [I]89-kelsey can move another inch . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey then lies on the floor , fumbles with the waistband of [her]89-kelsey jeans , and undoes the button before groaning in relief . “ Wow , this is a sight to see . ”[89-kelsey] Blechhhh . [She]89-kelsey covers [her]89-kelsey mouth from the very unladylike burp that just erupted out of [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey glances at [me]0-i , shock registering across [her]89-kelsey face , before [she]89-kelsey asks , “ Did [you]0-i happen to hear that ? ”[89-kelsey] [Babe]91-babe , [the doorman thirty stories down]3542-the doorman thirty stories down heard that . It rattled the very floor [I]89-kelsey ’m standing on . ”[89-kelsey] “ Do n’t be dramatic . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey think [San Francisco]21-san francisco will be reporting an earthquake on the Richter scale . ”[89-kelsey] “ Stop it . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey actually feel nauseated from the aftershocks . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey swats at [my]0-i legs , and [I]0-i laugh as [I]0-i reach down and grab [her]89-kelsey by the ankles . “ What are [you]89-kelsey doing ? ”[0-i] “ Pulling [you]89-kelsey to [[your]89-kelsey room]3250-your room . . . wait . . . nothing going to come out of the bottom end , is there ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Eww , do [you]89-kelsey really think [I]0-i would do that ? ”[0-i] “ Well , honestly , [I]89-kelsey would n’t be able to tell [you]89-kelsey , because [the girl [I]89-kelsey once knew]3544-the girl i once knew as [the tight - lipped perfectionist]3545-the tight - lipped perfectionist just unbuttoned [her]3544-the girl i once knew jeans in front of [me]89-kelsey and let out a monstrous belch , so . . . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t be sure what might happen next . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey drapes [her]89-kelsey arm over [her]89-kelsey eyes as [I]0-i continue to pull [her]89-kelsey . “ This is why [I]89-kelsey ’ll never find [anyone]377-anyone to love [me]89-kelsey . [I]89-kelsey ’m [a closet gross person]3547-a closet gross person . ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [you]89-kelsey ’re not . . . [you]89-kelsey ’re just normal . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey peeks past [her]89-kelsey arm and says , [You]0-i ’re just saying that so [I]89-kelsey do n’t actually fart while [you]0-i ’re pulling [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey ’m really not . It ’s nice to see that [you]89-kelsey ’re not always so stuck - up . ”[89-kelsey] [Stuck - up]3548-stuck - up ? That ’s preposterous . ”[89-kelsey] [Only someone who ’s stuck - up]3549-only someone who ’s stuck - up would use the term preposterous , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i reach [[her]89-kelsey bedroom]1425-her bedroom . [I]0-i open [her]89-kelsey door and drag [her]89-kelsey in . [I]0-i consider leaving [her]89-kelsey on the floor but , bending down , [I]0-i pick [her]89-kelsey up . [She]89-kelsey squeals in surprise before looping [her]89-kelsey arms around [my]0-i neck . “ What on earth are [you]0-i doing ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Tossing [you]89-kelsey on [your]89-kelsey bed , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i throw [her]89-kelsey , but to [my]0-i chagrin , [she]89-kelsey does n’t let go of [my]0-i neck , so instead of [me]0-i watching [her]89-kelsey flop onto the bed , [we]1426-we collide in a fit of limbs on the bed . [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mumble into the comforter . [You]89-kelsey were supposed to let go . ”[0-i] [I]89-kelsey just ate a whole crab , half a plate of fries , half a sundae , and had to unbutton [my]89-kelsey pants in front of [you]89-kelsey when [we]1426-we got [home]2941-home . What on earth makes [you]89-kelsey think [I]89-kelsey want to be tossed around ? ”[89-kelsey] “ So , this , [me]0-i pressing into [your]89-kelsey stomach is better ? ”[0-i] “ Could be better positioning . ”[0-i] “ Let go , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Oh , right , yes . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey unloops [her]89-kelsey arms from around [my]0-i neck and [I]0-i lift off [her]89-kelsey . “ Now , would it be too much to ask of [our]1426-we short - term companionship to have [you]89-kelsey strip [me]0-i down and put [my]0-i pajamas on ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glare at [her]89-kelsey . “ Babe , if [I]89-kelsey ’m stripping [you]89-kelsey down , [I]89-kelsey ’m sure as fuck not putting anything back on [you]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey rubs [her]89-kelsey stomach . “ Oh yeah ? [You]0-i ’d want a piece of this ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Oddly , [I]89-kelsey find it intriguing . ”[89-kelsey] “ Standards , [JP]87-jp . . . standards . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shrug . [I]0-i have none . ”[0-i] [I]0-i walk toward [her]89-kelsey bedroom door . “ Are [you]89-kelsey going to be able to manage on [your]89-kelsey own ? ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey heaves a large sigh . [I]89-kelsey believe so . It might take [me]89-kelsey a hot second to gather [myself]89-kelsey but , yes , [I]89-kelsey ’ll persevere . ”[89-kelsey] “ Okay , then . . . good night . ”[89-kelsey] “ Good night . . . [Jordan Preston]200-jordan preston . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grip the doorway and look over [my]0-i shoulder . “ It ’s [Jonah Peter]201-jonah . ”[0-i] A slow , sexy smile passes over [her]89-kelsey lips before [she]89-kelsey says , “ Good night . . . [Jonah]201-jonah . ”[89-kelsey] “ Good night , [Kelse]96-kelse . ”[89-kelsey]

* * *

Breaker : Are [you]1427-you dead ? [JP]87-jp : [You]0-i know damn well [I]0-i ’m not dead and [you]0-i know damn well [I]0-i do n’t want to talk about it . Breaker : [Dude]2754-dude . . . a carousel ? A bib ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey texted [Lottie]89-kelsey , who showed the pictures to [Huxley]90-huxley , who clearly sent them to [me]0-i . [She]89-kelsey really has [you]0-i by the balls , does n’t [she]89-kelsey ? [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i said , [I]0-i do n’t want to talk about it . [Breaker]97-breaker : No way in hell am [I]0-i going to let [you]87-jp drop this . What the hell is going on ? [JP]87-jp : Absolutely nothing . Breaker : Did [you]87-jp go out on a date tonight ? [JP]87-jp : No , [we]1429-we went out as short - term [companions]1430-companions . Breaker : Is that what [the kids]1431-the kids are calling it these days ? [JP]87-jp : Unless [you]97-breaker have something productive to talk about , [you]97-breaker can go to hell . [Breaker]97-breaker : [I]0-i ’m being serious . [You]87-jp ’ve crushed on [her]89-kelsey ever since [you]87-jp met [her]89-kelsey , so what ’s going on ? [You]87-jp trying to start something ? [JP]87-jp : No . It was a simple outing . [We]1429-we have nothing to do here , so [she]89-kelsey asked [me]0-i to do touristy things with [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i did . That ’s it . When [we]1429-we got back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , [she]89-kelsey burped , and [I]0-i had to drag [her]89-kelsey by [her]89-kelsey feet to [[her]89-kelsey room]1157-her room because [she]89-kelsey was so full . Trust [me]0-i , nothing is going on . [Breaker]97-breaker : But do [you]87-jp want something to happen ? [JP]87-jp : Why are [you]97-breaker acting like [a gossiping mom]1434-a gossiping mom right now ? [Breaker]97-breaker : [I]0-i just worry about [you]87-jp . [You]87-jp ’ve been different lately . [I]0-i want to make sure [you]87-jp ’re okay . [JP]87-jp : If [I]0-i ’ve been different , it has nothing to do with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [Breaker]97-breaker : What does that mean ? [JP]87-jp : Nothing . Do n’t worry about it . Listen , [I]0-i ’m tired and [I]0-i have an early meeting tomorrow with [Jeremiah]202-jeremiah over at [The Wharf]36-the wharf . [Breaker]97-breaker : Okay , but [you]87-jp know [I]0-i ’m here for [you]87-jp if [you]87-jp need to talk . [Huxley]90-huxley might be occupied , but [I]0-i ’m not . [You]87-jp can rely on [me]0-i . [JP]87-jp : Thanks . [I]0-i ’m good , though . [Breaker]97-breaker : Good . Also . . . if [you]87-jp have feelings for [her]89-kelsey , [man]3096-man , go for it . [JP]87-jp : Get a life , Breaker . Night .

Chapter Thirteen

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie Kelsey]89-kelsey : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]1437-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey , thank [you]87-jp so much for joining [me]0-i today . Please , tell [us]1437-we how [you]87-jp met . [Lottie]89-kelsey : It ’s about freaking time [you]87-jp have [[your]87-jp sister]2967-your sister on this podcast . [We]1437-we should ’ve been [[your]87-jp first couple]1440-your first couple . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [You]87-jp were n’t [a couple]700-a couple when [I]0-i started this podcast . [Lottie]89-kelsey : That ’s an annoyingly good point , but still , took [you]87-jp long enough . [We]1437-we , by far , have the most interesting story out of [anyone out there]1442-anyone out there . [Huxley]90-huxley : Might want to tone it down a bit . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [Huxley]90-huxley is nervous [he]1443-he ’ll lose credibility if [we]1437-we tell [our]1437-we story , but [I]0-i told [him]1443-he , it just shows how [you]90-huxley ’re [a really good businessman]1444-a really good businessman . Is n’t that right , snookums ? [Huxley]90-huxley : Laying it on thick , are [we]1437-we ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : [The listeners]1445-the listeners need to know how in love [we]1437-we are . [Huxley]90-huxley : [You]89-kelsey never call [me]0-i [snookums]37-snookums . [Lottie]89-kelsey : What [I]0-i call [you]90-huxley is n’t probably podcast - approved . [Huxley]90-huxley : [You]89-kelsey call [me]0-i by [my]0-i name . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Really ? Because [I]0-i think [I]0-i call [you]90-huxley “ oh God ”[89-kelsey] more often than not . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : And this is precisely why [I]0-i have n’t had [you]90-huxley on the show . This was a bad idea . [Lottie]89-kelsey : No , it was n’t . [We]1437-we ’re in love . [We]1437-we ’re getting married . Do n’t turn off the chat . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , do n’t turn it —

* * *

“ Are [you]0-i almost ready ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp calls out from [the entryway]628-the entryway . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell . “ Sheesh , give [a girl]356-a girl a second . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’ve had multiple seconds . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i got [home]2941-home like a minute ago . ”[0-i] “ Try ten minutes . [You]0-i just had to change . What are [you]0-i doing in [there]2954-there ? ”[0-i] “ Putting on deodorant . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swipe [my]0-i armpits one more time , cap the deodorant , then grab [my]0-i purse and head to the entryway . [God]92-god , do [you]355-the man want [me]0-i to smell ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask just as [I]0-i look up to find [JP]87-jp posed against the front door . Holy . . . moly . [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [the man]355-the man look this casual , but it ’s doing all sorts of bubbly , warm things inside [my]0-i stomach . Decked out in worn and torn jeans , a black shirt , and a hooded , black leather jacket , [he]355-the man ’s oozing with sex appeal . [He]355-the man tops off the look with a backwards hat , and [I]0-i feel [my]0-i insides quake . Not to mention the thick hair peppered on [his]355-the man jawline or the deep color of [his]355-the man lashes making [his]355-the man eyes seem impossibly greener . “ What ? ”[355-the man] [he]355-the man asks when [he]355-the man catches [me]0-i staring . “ Uh . . . sorry , just do n’t think [I]355-the man ’ve ever seen [you]355-the man this casual before . ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man glances down at [his]355-the man outfit and then back at [me]0-i . “ Did [you]0-i expect [me]355-the man to dress up for [you]0-i ? This is n’t a date . ”[355-the man] Well aware this is n’t a date . [I]0-i know that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i snap at [him]355-the man and put [my]0-i purse over [my]0-i shoulder . “ But pardon [me]0-i if [I]0-i ’m a little stunned to see [you]355-the man in a hat . Did n’t know [you]355-the man owned one . ”[0-i] [I]355-the man ’m pretty sure [every male]3554-every male owns a baseball hat . ”[355-the man] “ Well , it looks odd on [you]355-the man . ”[0-i] It does n’t , it looks really good , but there ’s no way [I]0-i ’m going to say that . “ Well , jeans look fucking weird on [you]355-the man , ”[355-the man] [he]355-the man shoots back . “ Really ? ”[355-the man] [I]0-i ask in an insecure voice . [He]355-the man rolls [his]355-the man eyes . “ No , but see how it ’s unkind to say [people]2736-people look weird ? A compliment would ’ve been good . ”[355-the man] [You]355-the man want [me]355-the man to compliment [you]355-the man ? When this is n’t a date ? [I]355-the man thought this was a short - term companionship . If that ’s the case , [I]355-the man tease [[my]355-the man friends]556-my friends , and therefore , [I]355-the man ’ll say [you]355-the man look weird in a hat because [I]355-the man ’m so used to [Mr. Businessman]203-mr. businessman . But if [you]355-the man truly need to know , the backwards hat suits [you]355-the man . ”[355-the man] [I]355-the man want to say there ’s a compliment in there , so [I]355-the man ’ll take it . ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man starts to walk away , but [I]0-i hold out [my]0-i arms and ask , “ Care to toss a compliment [my]0-i way ? ”[0-i] [His]355-the man eyes roam over [my]0-i simple jeans and off - the - shoulder sweater before [he]355-the man says , [I]355-the man can smell [your]0-i deodorant , and it does n’t smell like [BO]204-bo . Good job . ”[355-the man] [I]0-i feel [my]0-i face fall flat . “ That ’s [your]355-the man compliment ? ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man opens the front door for [me]0-i and asks , “ Have a problem with that ? ”[355-the man] “ It ’s not even a compliment , it ’s just pointing out the obvious . ”[355-the man] It ’s about as good as being told the color of [my]0-i dress is nice . Or [I]0-i ’ve seen better . [I]0-i start to walk past [him]355-the man , but then [he]355-the man grips [my]0-i wrist and leans into [my]0-i ear . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . ”[355-the man] [His]355-the man voice drips like honey over [my]0-i exposed shoulder . [I]0-i swallow tightly and nod . “ Yes ? ”[355-the man] [His]355-the man body moves against [mine]0-i , [my]0-i side to [his]355-the man chest as [he]355-the man whispers , [I]355-the man like how white [your]0-i shoes are . ”[355-the man] And then [he]355-the man lets go of [me]0-i and shuts [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse door behind [us]1449-us . [He]355-the man glances back at [me]0-i with a smirk as [we]1449-us head for [the elevator]1032-the elevator . [I]0-i jog after [him]355-the man and give [him]355-the man a push . “ What ? ”[355-the man] [he]355-the man asks . [You]0-i wanted a compliment . ”[355-the man] “ Yeah , well , do n’t do it like that . ”[355-the man] “ Like what ? ”[355-the man] [You]0-i know . . . all seductive . ”[355-the man] [His]355-the man brow raises , nearly touching [his]355-the man hat . [You]0-i thought that was seductive ? And from the blush on [your]0-i cheeks , it seems [you]0-i liked it . ”[355-the man] “ That ’s makeup , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , patting [my]0-i heated face . It ’s not makeup . That ’s all [me]0-i . If [I]0-i ’m going to be truthful , last night shook [me]0-i . [I]0-i had a great time with [JP]87-jp . Of course , [I]0-i had to battle [his]87-jp bad mood from time to time , but [I]0-i also watched [him]87-jp comply with [my]0-i demands on many occasions . [He]87-jp was out of [his]87-jp comfort zone , and yet , [he]87-jp kept up with [me]0-i and never truly complained . [I]0-i had a lot of fun . And then , when [we]1451-we got [home]2941-home and [he]87-jp dragged [me]0-i by the ankles to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , and told [me]0-i [his]87-jp real name . . . [Ladies]357-ladies . . . listen , [I]0-i ’ve never in [my]0-i life had such a wave of butterflies erupt in [my]0-i stomach . Like a swarm of them , all fluttering at the same time . It was overwhelming . [I]0-i spent the entire day today thinking about it , thinking about [him]87-jp , and by the time [I]0-i was headed back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , [I]0-i told [myself]0-i to get it together . Yes , [JP]87-jp is hot . Yes , [he]87-jp has this alpha - like attitude that ’s appealing to [me]0-i . And , yes , [he]87-jp opened up last night and had fun with [me]0-i , but . . . there ’s one thing [I]0-i need to remember . One important thing . [He]87-jp does n’t do relationships . [He]87-jp ’s not [the type of guy who settles down , wants to settle down , or even wants [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend]1456-the type of guy who settles down , wants to settle down , or even wants a girlfriend . That was evident in [our]1458-our conversation last night . So , before [my]0-i heart starts skipping a beat every time [I]0-i hear [him]87-jp breathe , [I]0-i need to remind [myself]0-i that [he]87-jp ’s not [the marrying type]1459-the marrying type . [He]87-jp ’s not long - term . [He]87-jp ’s not what [you]1460-you ’re looking for despite how much [he]87-jp makes [you]1460-you mentally faint from just one wink . “ Does n’t seem like makeup , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says as the elevator doors part and [he]87-jp walks in . “ Are [you]0-i [a makeup aficionado]3557-a makeup aficionado now ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know some things about the stuff . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp presses the lobby button . “ Oh yeah ? Do [you]0-i wear blush , [JP]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] “ Only when it ’s caught on the collar of [my]87-jp shirt . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks and [I]0-i hate [him]87-jp for it . But also . . . God , [he]87-jp ’s so hot . Attempting to move past this topic , [I]0-i clear [my]0-i throat and ask , “ So , what ’s planned for the evening ? All [you]0-i said was dress casual . Should [I]0-i know anything else ? ”[0-i] “ Just leave it to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ That ’s what [you]0-i keep saying , but [I]0-i need to tell [you]0-i , [I]0-i ’m a bit worried . ”[0-i] “ Why ? [You]0-i know [I]87-jp would n’t let anything happen to [you]0-i , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says so earnestly that [I]0-i truly believe [him]87-jp . [I]0-i know that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , feeling shy about the confession . “ But , [you]0-i know , it ’s always nice to prepare [oneself]3558-oneself for what ’s to come . So , what should [I]0-i prepare for ? ”[0-i] “ Prepare [yourself]0-i to have a good time , ”[87-jp] is all [he]87-jp says as [the elevator]1032-the elevator slows and the doors open . [He]87-jp steps behind [me]0-i , places [his]87-jp hand on [my]0-i lower back , and guides [me]0-i out to the front of [the hotel]1462-the hotel , where [the doorman]1463-the doorman opens the door for [us]1464-us . [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner . Have a good night . ”[1463-the doorman] [You]0-i , too , [Tim]205-tim , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says before [he]87-jp leads [me]0-i to [[our]1464-us waiting car]1465-our waiting car and opens [my]0-i door for [me]0-i . It takes [me]0-i a moment , but when [I]0-i ’m settled in the back seat with [him]87-jp , [my]0-i mind whirls with thoughts . Stupid thoughts . Annoying thoughts . [He]87-jp opened doors for [me]0-i . [He]87-jp touches [me]0-i . [He]87-jp could n’t possibly be doing the things [I]0-i said [I]0-i look for on dates . . . right ? Oh [my]0-i God , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , are [you]89-kelsey hearing [yourself]89-kelsey ? This is exactly why [you]89-kelsey do n’t get involved in stupid short - term companionships — or friendships with [men]2682-men — because [you]89-kelsey ’re such a stupid romantic that [you]89-kelsey think [everyone]2734-everyone is trying to date [you]89-kelsey . This is [JP]87-jp [we]1468-we ’re talking about . [The man]355-the man is [a flirt]1470-a flirt . [He]355-the man ’s also very attentive and [a gentleman]3530-a gentleman by nature . During meetings at [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises , before any of this insanity even started , [he]355-the man often held open doors , or helped [me]0-i out of cars . This is nothing new . This is [JP]87-jp just being [JP]87-jp . “ Want to tell [me]87-jp why [your]0-i jaw is clenched like that ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks as [we]1468-we start making [our]1468-we way through [town]652-town . “ Is it clenched ? Oh . . . [I]355-the man do n’t know . [I]355-the man ’m not mad or anything , if that ’s what [you]0-i ’re thinking . There ’s nothing to be mad about , or irritated at , right ? Just [two short - term companions]3559-two short - term companions going [somewhere unknown]3560-somewhere unknown , that ’s all . ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man eyes [me]0-i suspiciously . [You]0-i ’re acting weird . ”[355-the man] “ Am [I]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i wave [my]0-i hand in front of [my]0-i face . “ Maybe it ’s hot in here . Are [you]355-the man hot ? [I]0-i ’m wearing a lightweight sweater but it still feels hot . Are [you]355-the man hot ? ”[0-i] [I]355-the man ’m fine , ”[355-the man] [he]355-the man says , looking disturbed . [I]0-i do n’t blame [him]355-the man . [I]0-i ’m internally freaking out and externally starting to project it . “ But [we]3561-we can turn up the AC . ”[0-i] “ No , that ’s fine . No need to get crazy or anything . ”[355-the man] [He]355-the man pauses and then turns toward [me]0-i . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , do [you]0-i not want to do this ? ”[355-the man] “ What ? No . [I]0-i mean . . . yes . ”[0-i] “ Yes , [you]355-the man do n’t want to do this ? ”[0-i] “ No . Yes . . . urgh . [I]355-the man want to do this . [I]355-the man ’m sorry , [I]355-the man ’m just . . . awkward . Ignore [me]355-the man while [I]355-the man gather [myself]355-the man and try to act like [a normal human]3562-a normal human for [you]355-the man . ”[355-the man] [I]0-i give [him]355-the man a brief smile , then look out the window , squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut , and attempt to steady [my]0-i heart . Get it together , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . So what if [he]355-the man took pictures on a carousel with [you]89-kelsey yesterday , told [you]89-kelsey [his]355-the man real name , touched [you]89-kelsey in [the lobby]1164-the lobby . . . This means nothing . Absolutely nothing . [My]0-i phone buzzes in [my]0-i purse and [I]0-i ’m grateful for the reprieve . [I]0-i fish it out and glance at the screen . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Dinner tomorrow night with [Derek]166-derek at [the Crab House on [Pier 39]34-pier 39]1474-the crab house on pier 39 . [He]166-derek thought it would be the perfect place for a date . Meet [him]166-derek there at seven . Do n’t be late . [I]0-i smirk . The perfect date — seems like a good date to [me]0-i . Maybe [Derek]166-derek and [I]0-i have something in common . And just like that , the anxiety and tension that was knocking [me]0-i in the chest with every breath [I]0-i took is quickly wiped away . That ’s right , [I]0-i have a date tomorrow , a very real date . With [a guy who , by all standards , is quite [a looker]1476-a looker]1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker . [Lottie]89-kelsey sent [me]0-i a picture of [him]1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker the other day . Blond hair , has that whole . . . [I]1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker own [a boat]3563-a boat[1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker] look . Which [I]0-i ’m sure [he]1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker does , given how [he]1475-a guy who , by all standards , is quite a looker ’s in the same realm of business as [Dave]168-dave and [the Cane brothers]3391-the cane brothers . Graduated from [Yale]38-yale and has a golden retriever named [Freddie]139-kelsey . Does n’t get better than that , right ? [You]0-i ’re smiling like [a mad woman]3564-a mad woman now . Should [I]87-jp be worried ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , snapping [my]0-i attention back to the present . “ No , not at all . Just excited about [our]1478-we evening out , of course . ”[87-jp] “ Okay , [you]87-jp sure ? Because [I]87-jp feel like [you]87-jp ’ve run through a gauntlet of emotions in the last five minutes . ”[87-jp] “ Positive . There will be no more erratic emotions from here on out . ”[87-jp]

* * *

“ Why do [you]0-i have tears in [your]0-i eyes ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks when [we]1478-we step up to [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . [I]0-i turn toward [him]87-jp and ask , “ How do [you]87-jp know about [this restaurant]441-this restaurant ? ”[0-i] “ Uh , [you]0-i and [Lottie]89-kelsey talked about it in [the elevator]1032-the elevator . Said how [[your]0-i mom]3567-your mom took [you]0-i [here]2716-here . Are [you]0-i . . . not cool with that ? [We]1478-we can go somewhere else . [I]0-i ’ve never tried [this place]2765-this place , but [I]0-i knew dim sum was [a must in [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3570-a must in san francisco , so [I]0-i thought [you]0-i ’d want to go [here]2716-here . ”[0-i] [My]0-i lip quivers . A tear slides down [my]0-i cheek . And [I]0-i ’m left speechless as [we]1480-we stare at [each other]333-each other , on [the sidewalk , outside of [the Dim Sum Star]1483-the dim sum star]1482-the sidewalk , outside of the dim sum star . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . ”[1484-he] [I]0-i ’m sorry . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wipe at [my]0-i tears . “ This was very thoughtful , [JP]87-jp . [I]0-i did n’t think [you]87-jp were paying attention to that conversation . ”[0-i] [I]1484-he pay attention a lot more than [you]0-i think , ”[1484-he] [he]1484-he says before taking [my]0-i hand in [his]1484-he , giving it a squeeze , and walking [us]1480-we to the door . Before [he]1484-he opens it , though , [he]1484-he quietly says , “ If [you]0-i need another moment , let [me]1484-he know . ”[1484-he] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No , [I]1484-he ’m good . ”[1484-he] [I]0-i smile . [He]1484-he takes that as the green light , opens the door for [me]0-i , and leads [me]0-i into [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant . And , oh [my]0-i gosh , [it]2738-the restaurant looks exactly the same . Plain beige walls , dingy blue carpet , and flimsy partitions that separate tables and [rooms]1486-rooms . It ’s absolutely perfect . Just as [I]0-i remembered it . The worldly smell of some of the best food [I]0-i ’ve ever had assaults [me]0-i with memories . [I]0-i turn to [JP]87-jp and say , “ It has n’t changed one bit , which makes [me]0-i wonder . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i turn toward [their]1487-their wall of pictures and walk up to it . [My]0-i eyes scan the many faces until they land on two very familiar expressions . [My]0-i eyes well up all over again and [I]0-i quickly take [my]0-i phone out of [my]0-i purse . [I]0-i ’m about to take a picture when [JP]87-jp plucks [my]0-i phone from [my]0-i hands . [I]0-i turn to protest , but [JP]87-jp nods at the picture and says , “ Point at it . [I]87-jp ’ll take [your]0-i picture with it . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i do just that . Then [I]0-i take a few pictures , including one of just the picture to have it , and then send them to [Lottie]89-kelsey , while [JP]87-jp examines [the two innocent girls with full bellies in the frame]1488-the two innocent girls with full bellies in the frame . “ Nice braces . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Thank [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ And that Minnie Mouse shirt . . . wow . [You]0-i know , [I]87-jp might have asked [you]0-i to hold [my]87-jp hand if [I]87-jp knew [you]0-i back then . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i think [Young JP]206-young jp and [Young Kelsey]207-young kelsey could ’ve been more than [short - term companions]3572-short - term companions ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp pauses to think about it and then shakes [his]87-jp head . “ Nah , [I]87-jp was too much of [a dick]786-a dick , always causing trouble . With those braces and that shirt , [you]0-i ’d have seemed far too innocent for [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Hey , what did [I]87-jp tell [you]0-i about [my]87-jp innocence ? Do [I]87-jp need to prove [you]0-i otherwise again ? ”[87-jp] “ Please , prove that again . Would n’t mind sneaking another taste of [you]0-i , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , before pulling [me]0-i toward [the hostess]463-the hostess . [I]0-i do n’t have time to respond to [his]87-jp blatant flirting — that ’s flirting , right?—because [we]1490-we ’re ushered through [the restaurant]2738-the restaurant until [we]1490-we ’re shown to a seat by a window that gives [us]1490-we a great view of the bustling [Chinatown]39-chinatown . Before [I]0-i can reach for [my]0-i chair , [JP]87-jp pulls it out for [me]0-i and then takes a seat across from [me]0-i . When [I]0-i glance in [his]87-jp direction , [he]87-jp just gives [me]0-i a shrug and picks up [his]87-jp menu , placing it in front of [his]87-jp face . Do n’t overthink it , [Kelsey]207-young kelsey . Just have fun . [My]0-i phone buzzes and [I]0-i say , [I]0-i bet that ’s [Lottie]89-kelsey texting back , can [I]0-i look at it ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i do n’t need [my]0-i permission . Have at it . Hey , do [you]0-i know if this tea is any good ? ”[0-i] “ Uh . . . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve had it before , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say and then pick up [my]0-i phone and read the text message . [Lottie]89-kelsey : OMG ! [He]87-jp took [you]0-i to [Dim Sum Star]40-dim sum star ? Why did that just make [my]0-i heart flutter ? How did [he]87-jp know ? [I]0-i glance up at [JP]87-jp , who ’s immersed in the menu , so [I]0-i text back . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Heard [us]1492-us talking about it . Thought [I]0-i ’d want to revisit it . [Her]89-kelsey response is immediate . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Umm . . . is [he]87-jp thoughtful ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i think [he]87-jp ’s just trying to show [me]0-i [he]87-jp ’s not the asshole [I]0-i ’ve claimed [he]87-jp is . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [He]87-jp ’s definitely not , with that kind of dinner surprise . Well , have fun . Do n’t get the tea , remember , [Mom]101-mom gagged on it . Oh , that ’s right . “ Do n’t get it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i nearly shout while holding [my]0-i arm out to [him]87-jp . [He]87-jp peeks over the menu , [his]87-jp dark brows pulling together . [Jesus]148-jesus christ . . . do n’t get what ? ”[87-jp] [My]0-i cheeks heat up as [I]0-i realize how insane [I]0-i must have just sounded . “ Uh , the tea . [Lottie]89-kelsey just reminded [me]0-i that [Mom]101-mom got it and gagged on it . So , maybe skip the tea . ”[0-i] “ Okay . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp eyes [me]0-i weirdly . “ Are [you]87-jp sure [you]87-jp ’re okay ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i offer [him]87-jp a smile . “ Just fine . ”[0-i] “ Okay , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp drags out . [We]1493-we spend the next few minutes deciding what [we]1493-we want to order . [They]1494-they no longer cart the food around but bring the items [you]1495-you choose . [We]1493-we pick out a few dishes that [we]1493-we ’re both interested in and then , once [[our]1493-we waitress]1405-our waitress heads back to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , [I]0-i take a sip of [my]0-i water . “ So , this is [your]87-jp ideal night out ? Chasing after [[a girl]356-a girl ’s dream restaurant]3575-a girl ’s dream restaurant ? ”[0-i] “ No . Getting dim sum in [Chinatown]39-chinatown is a must . ”[0-i] “ Do n’t [you]87-jp think . . . that ’s slightly touristy ? ”[0-i] “ Probably , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers . “ If [I]87-jp was taking [you]0-i out , [you]0-i know , on a date , [I]87-jp would ’ve taken [you]0-i to [the Parkside Club]3576-the parkside club . ”[87-jp] “ What ’s that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [A restaurant at the top of [the Parkside Building]3578-the parkside building]3577-a restaurant at the top of the parkside building . [We]3579-we own [it]3577-a restaurant at the top of the parkside building . ”[0-i] “ Naturally . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . [Brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings [you]0-i ’ll ever have]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have . [He]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have started [his]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have culinary journey in [Chinatown]39-chinatown , actually . [Huxley]90-huxley found [him]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have and offered [him]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have a job that [he]3580-brilliant chef who makes the best fucking dumplings you ’ll ever have could n’t refuse . [Not many people]3581-not many people can afford to eat at [the Parkside Club]3576-the parkside club , but [those that do , eat well]3583-those that do , eat well . ”[0-i] “ Well , [you]0-i know , [you]0-i could ’ve taken [me]1498-i [there]2954-there . ”[1498-i] [He]1498-i shakes [his]1498-i head . “ Nah , the vibe would n’t have been right . Formal attire is required and [the place]452-the place is stuffy as shit . Here , [we]3586-we get to relax . ”[1498-i] [He]1498-i says that as [he]1498-i slouches in [his]1498-i chair . “ So , then who would [you]0-i take to [the Parkside Club]3576-the parkside club ? A special date ? ”[1498-i] [He]1498-i adjusts [his]1498-i hat on [his]1498-i head and says , [I]1498-i ’ve only gone with [[my]1498-i brothers]740-my brothers . Have n’t taken [anyone]377-anyone . Like [I]1498-i said , food is fucking good , but it ’s stuffy . [I]1498-i ’m not about to take a date [there]2954-there . ”[1498-i] “ But [I]1498-i thought [you]1498-i said this was n’t a date ? Maybe [you]1498-i should ’ve taken [me]1498-i [there]2954-there . ”[1498-i] “ And miss out on the opportunity to see [you]1498-i cry over a picture of [yourself]1498-i with braces ? Fuck no . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . “ Ah , yes , a dream moment , [I]1498-i ’m sure . ”[1498-i] [He]1498-i taps the side of [his]1498-i head . “ Filed that away for safekeeping . ”[1498-i] [I]0-i ’m sure [you]1498-i did . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean on the table and ask , “ So , what did [you]1498-i do today ? ”[0-i] “ Nothing special , ”[1498-i] [he]1498-i answers . “ Answered a laundry list of emails from [[my]1498-i brothers]740-my brothers , worked out , did some visits . ”[1498-i] “ What kind of visits ? Conjugal ? ”[1498-i] “ What ? ”[1498-i] [He]1498-i laughs . “ Who the fuck would [I]1498-i be visiting in [prison]3593-prison ? ”[1498-i] [I]1498-i do n’t know [your]1498-i life . Could be [anyone]377-anyone . ”[1498-i] “ That fucking brain of [yours]1498-i , there ’s something wrong with it . No , [I]1498-i just visited with [some nonprofits in [the area]686-the area]3595-some nonprofits in the area . ”[1498-i] That perks [me]0-i up . “ Really ? Which ones ? ”[1498-i] “ If [you]0-i must know , [you]0-i fucking nosey thing”—that[1498-i] makes [me]0-i smile—“I met with a foundation that saves pigeons and then stopped by [an animal shelter]3597-an animal shelter . ”[1498-i] [You]0-i just casually went and saved animals today . Is that what [you]0-i ’re telling [me]1498-i ? ”[1498-i] [I]0-i did n’t save [them]3598-them but , [you]0-i know , grew some connections . ”[0-i] [He]0-i shrugs . “ Then went back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse where [I]0-i took a shower and got ready . If [I]0-i knew [you]0-i were going to take forever to get dressed , [I]0-i would ’ve spent more time in the shower . ”[0-i] “ Oh yeah , doing what ? ”[0-i] [He]0-i raises a brow , and that ’s all [he]0-i has to say . “ Ah , [I]0-i see . [The old scrub and tug]3600-the old scrub and tug , huh ? ”[0-i] [His]0-i head falls back and a very sexy rumble of laughter falls out of [him]0-i . “ Yeah , something like that . What about [you]0-i , how were [your]0-i meetings today ? ”[0-i] “ Fun , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with a smile . [I]0-i met with [Dena]208-dena over at [the South building]3601-the south building . [She]208-dena was the sweetest , and [we]1500-we spent all morning walking through [the building]3134-the building and seeing where [we]1500-we could make changes . [She]208-dena ’s very excited about all the plans [we]1500-we mapped out . ”[0-i] [Dena]208-dena is chill , [I]0-i like [her]208-dena . ”[0-i] Just as [my]0-i belly rumbles , [the waitress]1499-the waitress approaches with [our]1500-we food , so conversation is put on hold as [we]1500-we make room for the dishes . Pork and chive dumplings , shrimp dumplings , Shanghai chicken bun , vegetable spring rolls , and sauteed asparagus . It smells amazing . [We]1500-we both pick up chopsticks , prep them , and without saying a word , [we]1500-we dig in .

* * *

[We]1500-we stand on [the sidewalk outside of [the Dim Sum Star]1483-the dim sum star]1501-the sidewalk outside of the dim sum star , waiting for [the car]887-the car to pull around , when [I]0-i say , [You]87-jp know . . . [I]0-i remember it being a lot better than that . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp pats [his]87-jp chest as [he]87-jp lets out a quiet burp . “ Fuck . . . [I]87-jp need something to remove the taste of that chive dumpling from [my]87-jp mouth . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’m sorry . Are [you]87-jp going to be okay ? ”[0-i] [We]1500-we ’ll see , wo n’t [we]1500-we ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . Like rabid animals , [we]1500-we dug into [our]1500-we dishes , each pulling dumplings from the steaming baskets and placing them on [our]1500-we plates . [Our]1500-we first bites were ravenous . [Our]1500-we second . . . quizzical . [Our]1500-we third . . . worried . Silently , [we]1500-we tried another item , and another , until [we]1500-we both looked up at [each other]333-each other , grabbed [our]1500-we water glasses , and attempted to wash down the peculiar taste . There was no use , [our]1500-we tastebuds were tainted , and it was n’t a pleasant experience after that . [We]1500-we ate the food because neither of [us]1500-we wanted to waste it , but when [they]1505-they asked what else [we]1500-we wanted to order , [we]1500-we raised [our]1500-we hands with a polite “ no , thank [you]87-jp , ”[653-the driver] and then [JP]87-jp paid the bill . [The driver]653-the driver pulls up , and [JP]87-jp steps to the door , opening it for [me]0-i and , just like the other times , once [I]0-i ’m in , [he]87-jp follows right behind [me]0-i . Calling to [the driver]653-the driver , [he]87-jp says , [Twentieth Century Bakery]41-twentieth century bakery , please . ”[87-jp] Then [he]87-jp pulls out [his]87-jp phone and starts typing away on it . “ What , uh , what ’s at [the Twentieth Century Bakery]3603-the twentieth century bakery ? ”[87-jp] “ Something that will hopefully appease [our]1500-we stomachs . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp finishes up on [his]87-jp phone and then relaxes into the seat . “ Hell , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , that shit was terrible . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know . [I]87-jp have no idea how [Lottie]89-kelsey and [I]87-jp ate as much as [we]1500-we did the first time [we]1500-we went . ”[87-jp] [Kids]3604-kids do n’t have proper tastebuds , that ’s why . [I]87-jp should ’ve thought about that . ”[87-jp] “ Well , the sentiment was there , and [I]0-i appreciate it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i reach over and squeeze [his]87-jp forearm . “ Thank [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] The corner of [his]87-jp mouth tips up . [You]0-i ’re welcome . ”[87-jp] “ So , [this bakery place]3605-this bakery place , does [it]3605-this bakery place have [a seating area]3606-a seating area ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes , but [we]1500-we ’ll get [our]1500-we dessert to go . [We]1500-we have a bit of a drive to the next stop and a reservation [we]1500-we ca n’t miss . ”[87-jp] “ The next place ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i turn more toward [him]87-jp . “ Tell [me]0-i more . ”[0-i] “ Nope . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . “ That ’s a surprise . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s annoying . ”[0-i] “ Is it ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Or is it fun ? ”[87-jp] “ Annoying . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles . “ Yeah , [I]87-jp ’d be annoyed too , but remember , this is [my]87-jp night , not [yours]3607-yours , therefore , [we]1500-we do it [my]87-jp way . ”[87-jp] “ Ah , yes , which reminds [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [We]1508-we ’re stopped at a light , so [I]0-i unbuckle [my]0-i seatbelt momentarily , scoot closer to [JP]87-jp , and hold [my]0-i phone out in front of [us]1508-we for a selfie . “ Smile , short - term companion . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wraps [his]87-jp arm around [me]0-i and holds [me]0-i close as [he]87-jp smiles that wicked smile of [his]87-jp , and for a moment , [I]0-i almost forget to take the picture . For a moment , [I]0-i get lost in the feel of [his]87-jp arm holding [me]0-i close , of [his]87-jp cologne curling around [me]0-i , and the warmth of [his]87-jp body . But [the car]887-the car starts moving again , so [I]0-i snap the picture and hurry back to [my]0-i side . [I]0-i should ’ve taken a picture of [us]1510-we at [Dim Sum Star]40-dim sum star . ”[0-i] “ A memory [we]1510-we do n’t need reminding of . ”[1510-we] [We]1510-we spend a few more moments driving through [town]652-town , then [the driver]653-the driver pulls up at the curb and [JP]87-jp says , “ Wait here . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp hops out of [the car]887-the car into [this old corner building that looks positively charming from the outside]1514-this old corner building that looks positively charming from the outside . Through the large glass windows , [I]0-i see [him]87-jp pull out [his]87-jp wallet , hand [someone]1515-someone some money , and then thank [them]1515-someone as [he]87-jp walks back toward the door with a cake box and two waters . The moment [he]87-jp ’s back in [the car]887-the car , [he]87-jp says to [the driver]653-the driver , “ All set . ”[87-jp] [The driver]653-the driver nods and starts moving [the car]887-the car again . To [my]0-i surprise , [JP]87-jp scoots into the middle seat , buckles up , and then hands [me]0-i a water and a fork . That ’s when the delicious sugary smell from the box hits [me]0-i . “ Um , whatever [you]87-jp have under there smells amazing . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s what [you]87-jp said about the Dim Sum . ”[87-jp] “ Is this going to taste like the food from [the Dim Sum]3608-the dim sum ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head and pops open the lid , revealing a beige - colored cake . “ Not even close . This is [my]87-jp favorite dessert in [the Bay Area]3609-the bay area . Nothing beats it . A honey cake from [Twentieth Century Bakery]3610-twentieth century bakery . Guaranteed , [you]0-i wo n’t find anything better . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’ll be the judge of that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i dip [my]0-i fork and cut off a large piece from the side , and then bring it to [my]0-i mouth , which waters . “ Oh God , ”[0-i] [I]0-i awkwardly moan as [I]0-i chew . “ Wow . . . okay . . . wow , this is . . . ”[0-i] “ Phenomenal , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says while taking [his]87-jp own bite . “ Yup , that would be correct . This is phenomenal . Mmm . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lift another piece . “ Is it weird to say [I]0-i love [you]87-jp right now ? ”[0-i] “ After the meal [we]3611-we just suffered through ? No . Eat up , [babe]2728-babe . This will make up for all those chewy dumplings [you]0-i just consumed . ”[0-i] [They]3613-they were quite chewy , were n’t they ? Not this , though , this is like a sugar cloud in [my]0-i mouth . ”[0-i] “ Sugar cloud , huh ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Yup . Seriously , this is amazing . How did [you]87-jp find it ? ”[87-jp] “ Trial and error . [I]0-i like to find something special in [every city [I]0-i go to]3614-every city i go to so if [someone]364-someone asks [me]0-i what [they]364-someone should try , [I]0-i can give [them]364-someone something good to get . This is on [my]0-i list . It ’s a must - have when [you]0-i come here . ”[0-i] “ Do [you]87-jp have a list of [these places]3616-these places ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp nods , to [my]0-i surprise . [I]87-jp keep notes in [my]87-jp phone . ”[87-jp] “ Really ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ That does n’t seem like something [you]87-jp ’d do . ”[0-i] “ Why not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t know . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take another bite . [Your]87-jp attitude comes across as too cool , too accomplished , to do something like taking notes in [your]87-jp phone of good food places . [I]0-i ’d never have guessed that . ”[0-i] “ There ’s a lot [you]87-jp do n’t know about [me]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . That ’s just one thing . ”[0-i] “ Apparently . What else are [you]0-i hiding ? ”[0-i] [You]87-jp ’ll see , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers . “ Does this have anything to do with where [we]3617-we ’re going ? ”[87-jp] “ Yup . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wiggles [his]87-jp brows and takes another bite . “ And when [you]0-i compare [our]3617-we nights out , [I]87-jp do n’t think the main course should be taken into consideration . [We]3617-we had a shit dinner because of [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i chuckle . “ That ’s fair , the main course was on [me]0-i . But this dessert , [I]0-i do n’t know . Not sure if it beats the sundae at [Ghirardelli]35-ghirardelli . ”[0-i] “ Fuck off , it easily does . ”[87-jp] That makes [me]0-i laugh hard . “ Protective much ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , because [they]3618-they sell the damn products in [the store]3619-the store so [you]0-i can make [your]0-i own Ghirardelli sundae at [home]2941-home — ”[0-i] [They]3618-they do n’t sell the atmosphere , though , and that makes it taste better . ”[0-i] [You]0-i make no sense , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp informs [me]0-i , and [I]0-i laugh some more . [He]87-jp points [his]87-jp fork at the cake . “ Now , as for this cake , [you]0-i can try to make it , but [I]87-jp guarantee , it wo n’t taste anything like this , even if [you]0-i ask for the recipe . [They]3618-they actually have a recipe book [you]0-i can buy . But it still wo n’t taste the same . This cake takes years to refine , and that , [you]0-i need to appreciate . ”[87-jp] “ But [we]3621-we ’re eating it in the back of [a Tesla]42-a tesla . Not sure about the ambiance . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp scowls at [me]0-i . “ If anything , [you]0-i should appreciate the atmosphere more because [we]3621-we ’re eating in [an electric car]3622-an electric car , driving around like goddamn earth liberators . If [you]0-i ’re really lucky , [I]87-jp ’ll give [you]0-i this box when [we]3621-we ’re done so [you]0-i can recycle it . ”[87-jp] “ Wow , [you]0-i really know the key to [a woman]3073-a woman ’s heart . ”[87-jp] “ See . . . better . [You]0-i even admit it [yourself]0-i[I’m]87-jp unlocking [your]0-i heart . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i was being sarcastic . ”[0-i] “ And [I]87-jp choose not to take it that way . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks . “ Do [you]0-i always have to be right ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes . Glad [you]87-jp ’re finally seeing that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i open [my]0-i water and say , “ Does this place [we]3621-we ’re going to have alcohol ? Because [I]0-i ’ll need it if [I]0-i ’m sticking around with [you]87-jp for the rest of the night . ”[0-i] “ There ’s alcohol . Trust [me]0-i , [I]0-i would n’t leave [myself]0-i stranded and alone with [you]87-jp without it . ”[0-i] [My]0-i lips flatten and [he]87-jp chuckles . [You]87-jp ’re such an ass , ”[0-i] [I]0-i grumble . [I]0-i know , [babe]2728-babe . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp winks . “ But admit it , [you]2728-babe like it . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp tips [my]0-i chin up with [his]87-jp finger and whispers , “ Liar . ”[87-jp] Eh . . . [he]87-jp very well might be right about everything , because even though [he]87-jp does drive [me]0-i nuts , [I]0-i sort of like it . [I]0-i fall in line with [his]87-jp teasing and . . . Oh God . . . am [I]0-i starting to crave it ? No , that could n’t possibly be true , right ? [He]87-jp dips [his]87-jp fork into the cake and takes another bite , [his]87-jp eyes on [me]0-i the entire time . Huh . . . maybe [I]0-i am .

* * *

“ What are [you]0-i doing ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , tugging [my]0-i arm . “ Sending [[my]87-jp sister]414-my sister a pin location of where [I]87-jp am . ”[87-jp] “ Why the hell would [you]87-jp do that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i stuff [my]0-i phone in [my]0-i purse and pause on [the dark sidewalk]1520-the dark sidewalk . [We]1521-we ate half of the cake in [the car]887-the car and [I]0-i honestly could ’ve kept going . [I]0-i did n’t think it would settle well in [my]0-i belly if [I]0-i ate more cake and then had alcohol right after . Not a good thing at all . So , [I]0-i controlled [myself]0-i and focused on [my]0-i conversation with [JP]87-jp , telling [him]87-jp all about where [I]0-i ’d seen [my]0-i business going when [I]0-i first started . [He]87-jp sat there and listened the entire time , occasionally brushing [his]87-jp hand against [my]0-i leg . [I]0-i could n’t figure out if [he]87-jp was doing it on purpose or if it was because [he]87-jp was still sitting in the middle seat when [we]1521-we were done with the cake . Either way , every light pass , every small touch , was like an ember starting to flame and burn harder , stronger . “ Why would [I]0-i send a pin to [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ? Uh , have [you]87-jp looked around [us]1521-we ? [I]0-i ’m in [a dark alleyway where there are no lights on]3627-a dark alleyway where there are no lights on , and [I]0-i ’m with [a man]2703-a man . ”[0-i] [A man]2703-a man [you]87-jp know . ”[0-i] “ But do [I]0-i know [you]87-jp , [JP]87-jp ? ”[0-i] “ Enough that [you]87-jp should be conscious of the fact that [I]0-i ’d protect [you]87-jp over . . . whatever the hell is playing in [your]87-jp head . ”[0-i] Arms crossed , [I]0-i jut out a hip and say , “ Okay , if [someone]364-someone came up to [us]1521-we right now and said [they]364-someone were going to take [me]0-i away to [[their]364-someone lair]3631-their lair , what would [you]1523-he do ? ”[0-i] “ What kind of fucked - up fairy tale are [you]1523-he living in ? ”[0-i] “ Just answer the question . ”[0-i] “ Jesus . ”[1523-he] [He]1523-he drags a hand over [his]1523-he face . [I]1523-he ’d tell [him]1523-he to get the fuck away , and if [he]1523-he did n’t , [I]1523-he ’d probably introduce [him]1523-he to the ten years of boxing lessons [I]1523-he ’ve been taking . ”[1523-he] Dear heavens , [he]1523-he boxes ? That ’s hot . [My]0-i eyes go to [his]1523-he chest . Hmm , that would explain some of those ripped muscles . “ Is that satisfactory to [you]0-i ? ”[1523-he] [he]1523-he asks . [I]1523-he believe so . ”[1523-he] [I]0-i loop [my]0-i arm through [his]1523-he and lean in close . “ Now , where the hell are [we]1527-we going ? ”[0-i] “ Over here . ”[1523-he] [He]1523-he leads [me]0-i down [an alleyway]1524-an alleyway to a metal door . [He]1523-he raps on the metal and after a moment , it opens . [A large , burly man with a curly mustache steps into [the alleyway]1526-the alleyway with [us]1527-we]1525-a large , burly man with a curly mustache steps into the alleyway with us . [He]1523-he lifts a clipboard to [his]1523-he face and asks , “ Name ? ”[1523-he] [Jonah Cane]201-jonah , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp answers . [Jonah Cane]201-jonah . [I]0-i like that , too . Especially since [I]0-i feel like [I]0-i ’m seeing [him]1523-he as [Jonah]201-jonah right now , not [his]1523-he Cane Enterprises persona of [JP]87-jp . [The bouncer]1528-the bouncer makes a scratching mark on [his]1528-the bouncer clipboard and opens the door for [us]1527-we . “ Down [the hallway]1132-the hallway , first door on the right . Wait to be seated . ”[1528-the bouncer] [We]1527-we head down [the hall]705-the hall , and [I]0-i quietly ask , “ Do [you]1523-he often use [your]1523-he first name ? ”[0-i] “ Sometimes , ”[1523-he] [he]1523-he says . “ Do [you]0-i like it if [people]2736-people call [you]0-i [Jonah]201-jonah ? ”[1523-he] [He]1523-he glances down at [me]0-i . [His]1523-he eyes fall briefly to [my]0-i lips but then tear away and focus on [the dimly lit hallway in front of [us]1527-we]1530-the dimly lit hallway in front of us . “ Is there an answer to that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [we]1527-we reach the door on the right . [He]1523-he does n’t answer , but instead knocks on the door , and this time , when the door opens , a cacophony of conversations and soft music filters out into [the hallway]1132-the hallway . [Cane]87-jp ? ”[1397-the attendant] [the attendant]1397-the attendant asks . “ Yup , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp answers . “ Right this way . ”[209-clutching] [Clutching]209-clutching tighter to [him]87-jp , [I]0-i ask just above a whisper , “ Did [you]87-jp take [me]0-i to [a sex club]3634-a sex club ? ”[0-i] [He]87-jp chuckles but does n’t answer . [The room]345-the room is filled with [people]2736-people , every table is occupied , [everyone]2734-everyone with drinks in [their]2734-everyone hands , [their]2734-everyone faces lit up by a simple , short table lamp in front of [them]2734-everyone . The walls are covered in red velvet , the ceiling sprinkled with bulb lights , and there ’s a raised stage at the very end of [the room]345-the room , covered in the same lavish red velvet and old - time lights that line the bottom of the stage . What on earth is [this place]2765-this place ? [The hostess]463-the hostess[I’m]0-i assuming that ’s who [she]463-the hostess is — walks [us]1539-us to the only empty table in [the room]345-the room . Right at the front . [Hilary]210-hilary will be here momentarily to take [your]0-i drink orders . ”[87-jp] “ Thank [you]0-i , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . [He]87-jp pulls [my]0-i chair out for [me]0-i , takes [my]0-i hand in [his]87-jp , and helps [me]0-i as [I]0-i take a seat . Then [he]87-jp slides [his]87-jp chair right next to [mine]0-i . Talking quietly in [my]0-i ear , [he]87-jp asks , “ What do [you]0-i want to drink ? ”[87-jp] “ Uh . . . not sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer as chills from [his]87-jp soft voice cover the back of [my]0-i neck . “ Wine ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp lips dangerously close to [my]0-i ear . “ Or something stronger ? ”[87-jp] “ What , uh , what are [you]87-jp getting ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Scotch . ”[0-i] “ Nice order , a little strong for [me]210-hilary , so a glass of cab would be fine . ”[210-hilary] [Hilary]210-hilary arrives just at the right time and takes [our]1541-we order before setting a bowl of trail mix in front of [us]1541-we . [I]0-i glance around [the room]345-the room . [The people at the other tables]1543-the people at the other tables are all quietly talking to [themselves]1543-the people at the other tables , and [I]0-i honestly ca n’t tell what ’s going to happen on that stage . [I]0-i lean in toward [JP]87-jp and ask , “ Seriously , where are [we]1541-we ? ”[0-i] When [I]0-i turn [my]0-i head , [our]1541-we noses nearly touch as [I]0-i whisper , “ Is this [a sex den]3635-a sex den ? ”[0-i] [He]87-jp chuckles . “ Would [you]0-i be mad if it was ? ”[87-jp] Would [I]0-i be mad ? [I]0-i honestly do n’t know . “ It would be different . [I]87-jp ’ve never been to one . Is that what this is ? Is that what [you]0-i like to do in [different clubs]3636-different clubs , go to [different sex dens]3637-different sex dens ? [I]87-jp mean , the red velvet says it all . Oh God , and [we]1541-we have front - row seats . [We]1541-we ’ll see things . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles and drapes [his]87-jp arm over the back of [my]0-i chair , casually crossing [his]87-jp ankle over [his]87-jp knee . “ Would [you]0-i like to see things ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’ll be honest . When [you]0-i suggested [I]0-i was innocent , [I]0-i ’d have to say , this is exposing some innocence , because [I]0-i really have never done anything like this before . And [I]0-i am nervous . Are [they]3638-they going to have sex ? Like , strip down in front of [us]1541-we ? Oh God , am [I]0-i going to be turned on ? Are [you]0-i ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes flash to [his]87-jp , which are truly smiling . “ Do [you]0-i get boners here ? ”[87-jp] Leaning in close , [he]87-jp presses [his]87-jp mouth to [my]0-i ear and says , “ This is n’t [a sex den]3635-a sex den , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Nor [a sex club]3634-a sex club , or anything to do with sex . So , rest that little innocent heart of [yours]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] [Hilary]210-hilary drops off [our]1544-our drinks , offers [us]1544-our a wink , and says , “ Enjoy the show . ”[210-hilary] “ The show ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , so freaking confused . [JP]87-jp lifts [his]87-jp tumbler of Scotch and takes a sip , and then turns [his]87-jp attention to [the stage]1545-the stage as the curtain opens and [the crowd]715-the crowd erupts into loud cheers . [Ladies and gentlemen]1141-ladies and gentlemen , ”[87-jp] a voice says over the loud speaker . “ Please stay seated , holler at [your]1141-ladies and gentlemen own will , and bring [your]1141-ladies and gentlemen hands together for [the incomparable , the magnificent , the hottest ass this side of [San Francisco]21-san francisco]3642-the incomparable , the magnificent , the hottest ass this side of san francisco . ”[87-jp] More uproarious cheers . [Mrs. Frisbee Lane]211-mrs. frisbee lane . ”[87-jp] [Frisbee Lane]43-frisbee lane ? Is this a comedy show ? A one - person monologue ? A — [My]0-i thoughts cut off the moment [a very tall , very beautiful human]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human struts out onto the stage , dressed in full drag , with a wig that rivals [Marie Antoinette]127-maria , an ass bigger than a Kardashian ’s , and nails longer than [my]0-i hand . “ Good evening , [[my]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human beautiful babies]3643-my beautiful babies , ”[1547-a very tall , very beautiful human] [she]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human says into a microphone . “ Oh [my]0-i God , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say quietly with glee as [I]0-i turn toward [JP]87-jp . “ Did [you]87-jp bring [me]87-jp to a drag show ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp just smirks and sits back . [We]3644-we have quite the evening planned for [you]0-i tonight . But before [we]3644-we get started , some quick reminders . Let the lip - synching be handled by [the professionals]3645-the professionals , please refrain from bringing down [the morale]3646-the morale[you]0-i know [[us]3644-we bitches]3647-us bitches love the drama , but not when [we]3644-we ’re performing — and of course , as always , tips are appreciated . ”[1547-a very tall , very beautiful human] [She]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human presses [her]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human hand to [her]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human chest . [I]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human ’ll be [[your]0-i emcee]3648-your emcee tonight , [Mrs. Frisbee Lane]211-mrs. frisbee lane . If [you]0-i ’re interested in tossing [your]0-i frisbee down [[my]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human lane]3649-my lane after the show , [[my]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human bartenders]3650-my bartenders will take [your]0-i number , and [I]1547-a very tall , very beautiful human ’ll call [you]0-i later , [darling]3651-darling . ”[1547-a very tall , very beautiful human] More hoots and hollers . “ Now let ’s get this night started with a club favorite . Put [your]0-i hands together for Winter Lips . ”[1547-a very tall , very beautiful human] The lights dim , and [I]0-i ca n’t help it , [I]0-i place [my]0-i hand on [JP]87-jp ’s leg and say , [I]87-jp ca n’t believe [you]87-jp brought [me]87-jp to a drag show . This is . . . this is so freaking amazing . ”[87-jp] From [his]87-jp pocket , [he]87-jp pulls out a wad of cash and holds it in front of [me]0-i . “ Have at it , [babe]2728-babe . Tip well . ”[87-jp] And once again . . . [my]0-i heart skips a beat .

* * *

[I]0-i ’m so jealous of [Fifi Heart]212-fifi heart ’s cleavage , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [JP]87-jp opens [the waiting car]1548-the waiting car door for [me]0-i . Before [I]0-i get in , [I]0-i turn to [him]87-jp and press [my]0-i boobs together . “ How do [I]0-i get that kind of lift ? ”[0-i] [You]87-jp have plenty of lift . Now , get [your]87-jp ass in [the car]887-the car . ”[87-jp] “ Not like [Fifi]212-fifi heart , ”[0-i] [I]0-i groan as [I]0-i take a seat in [the car]887-the car and buckle up . [You]87-jp saw it , [her]212-fifi heart cleavage was kissing [her]212-fifi heart chin . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp shuts the door behind [him]87-jp and buckles up , as well . [You]0-i ’re perfect just as [you]0-i are , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says as [he]87-jp leans [his]87-jp head back and closes [his]87-jp eyes . “ Are [you]87-jp falling asleep on [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i poke [him]87-jp in the arm . [You]87-jp ca n’t fall asleep . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp turns [his]87-jp head and smirks . “ Just taking a second . Can [you]0-i stop jabbering for a hot minute ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , excuse [me]87-jp if [I]87-jp just bore witness to one of the greatest shows of [my]87-jp entire life . [I]87-jp ’m still reeling . ”[87-jp] “ Greatest , huh ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod and twist [my]0-i body so [I]0-i ’m facing [him]87-jp . [JP]87-jp , that was so much fun . And [I]0-i never thought sliding money in between fake breasts could be so much fun , but , [God]92-god , [I]0-i feel like [a new woman]3654-a new woman . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m glad [you]87-jp enjoyed it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i did n’t just enjoy it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say seriously , pulling [his]87-jp attention . [I]0-i honestly think that was the most fun [I]0-i ’ve had in a while . ”[0-i] And that ’s the truth . The minute the show started , [I]0-i was into it . [I]0-i ’ve never been to a drag show before , but [I]0-i ’m [a firm believer in not missing one episode of [[RuPaul]213-rupaul ’s Drag Race]44-rupaul ’s drag race]1550-a firm believer in not missing one episode of rupaul ’s drag race , so [I]0-i knew what to expect going in . [Lord]1551-lord help [me]0-i , [I]0-i did n’t think it was going to be that amazing . And it was n’t just the show , it was [JP]87-jp , too . [He]87-jp was so relaxed , so . . . present . [He]87-jp was n’t sarcastic . [He]87-jp was just . . . smiling and having a great time , while making sure [I]0-i was taken care of . [His]87-jp arm never once strayed from [my]0-i chair , and at one point , [I]0-i felt [him]87-jp playing with the ends of [my]0-i hair as [LuLu Lemons]214-lulu lemons lip - synched to [I]0-i Will Always Love [You]1552-you . “ Good . [You]0-i deserve it , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says as [he]87-jp looks away . [I]0-i have this weird urge to take [his]87-jp hand in [mine]0-i , to curl against [his]87-jp side and breathe in [this man]2781-this man that feels new , but also . . . the same . But even though the urge is strong , [I]0-i know it ’s not what [I]0-i should do . [I]0-i mean , it ’s definitely not what [I]0-i should do . [I]0-i need to remind [myself]0-i what tonight is all about — [JP]87-jp proving to [me]0-i that [his]87-jp choices in activities are better than [mine]0-i . [I]0-i can admit when [I]0-i ’ve been defeated . And this night blew [me]0-i away . “ Thank [you]0-i for tonight , [JP]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Still with [his]87-jp eyes shut , [he]87-jp says , “ It ’s not over yet . ”[87-jp] “ It ’s not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , surprised . [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . “ Nope , just sit back and relax . [We]1556-we ’ll arrive at [our]1556-we final destination shortly . ”[87-jp]

* * *

Lamp posts line [the wood - planked pier]1554-the wood - planked pier all the way to where [it]1554-the wood - planked pier ends in [the middle of [the Bay]23-the bay]1555-the middle of the bay . The deep richness of the midnight sky looms over [us]1556-we as distant lights from [the city]3271-the city twinkle behind [us]1556-we . A cool breeze lifts off [the water]3352-the water as [we]1556-we walk slowly down [the long stretch of boardwalk]1559-the long stretch of boardwalk , the gentle sound of water lapping at [the Bay]23-the bay ’s edge as [our]1556-we soundtrack . Dotted with [only a few people]1560-only a few people , [JP]87-jp and [I]0-i are almost completely alone . [I]0-i did n’t think [you]87-jp were [a touristy person]3655-a touristy person , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say in awe as [we]1556-we walk . “ Would n’t this classify as [a touristy spot]3656-a touristy spot ? ”[0-i] [Pier 39]34-pier 39 , yes . [Pier 7]34-pier 39 , not so much . [You]87-jp learn that quickly when [you]87-jp stay [here]2716-here for more than a few days . ”[87-jp] “ When did [you]87-jp start coming out [here]2716-here ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i was often too wired when [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers went to bed , so [I]0-i ’d go out . [They]740-my brothers assumed [I]0-i was hitting the bars , or attempting to hook up with [someone]364-someone for the night , but [I]0-i came down here , walked to the end of [the pier]1389-the pier , and just stared out into the dark water . ”[0-i] “ What would [you]87-jp think about ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Anything . Everything . Whatever was on [my]0-i mind at the moment . ”[0-i] “ So why did [you]87-jp bring [me]0-i here ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [we]1561-we continue making [our]1561-we way down [the long stretch]1562-the long stretch . [You]87-jp do n’t have anything to think on , do [you]87-jp ? ”[0-i] “ There ’s always something to think about , and [I]1563-i figured [you]87-jp might like it [here]2716-here . If [you]87-jp ever come back , this could be [your]87-jp thinking spot , too . ”[1563-i] [I]0-i like that a lot , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i gently bump [my]0-i shoulder against [his]1563-i . [He]1563-i smiles and brings [his]1563-i arm around [my]0-i shoulder , pulling [me]0-i into [his]1563-i side as [we]1561-we walk . “ This might be the best place to come after a long day of organizing . Stop by [the bakery]3663-the bakery , get one of those honey cakes , snap a picture of it and gloat , then come here and eat it alongside [the Bay]23-the bay . ”[1563-i] “ Careful of the birds , [they]3664-they ’re ruthless during the day . ”[1563-i] “ Good point . ”[1563-i] [You]0-i know how [I]1563-i know that ? ”[1563-i] [he]1563-i asks . “ Please tell [me]1563-i it ’s by experience . ”[1563-i] [He]1563-i nods . “ It was a long goddamn day in [the conference room]370-the conference room with [[my]1563-i brothers]740-my brothers , [I]1563-i needed some air , so [I]1563-i grabbed some Thai food to go , brought it down here , and started eating . It was slow at first . A random bird here , a seagull there . [I]1563-i flailed a bit , trying to scare [them]740-my brothers away , but then [they]740-my brothers started talking . . . chirping to [each other]333-each other . Saying , ‘ Hey , there ’s [an unsuspecting idiot]3668-an unsuspecting idiot over there at the end of [the pier]1389-the pier — ’ ”[1563-i] “ Why do [they]740-my brothers have a [Brooklyn]46-brooklyn accent ? ”[1563-i] “ These birds have been places . ”[1563-i] That makes [me]0-i laugh , and [he]1563-i continues , [I]1563-i did n’t think much of it at first , when another bird landed in front of [me]1563-i . One off to the side , then one behind [me]1563-i . [They]740-my brothers swarmed , [their]740-my brothers numbers outweighing [my]1563-i limbs , and [they]740-my brothers grew closer and closer until [one brave soul]3670-one brave soul pecked [me]1563-i on the leg . ”[1563-i] “ No , it did n’t . ”[1563-i] [It]3670-one brave soul fucking did . Right on the shin . [I]1563-i yelled at [it]3670-one brave soul , obviously , bent down to check on [my]1563-i shin , and that ’s when [they]740-my brothers converged . ”[1563-i] [They]740-my brothers used a decoy bird on [you]1563-i . ”[1563-i] “ Precisely . [I]1563-i was [a lost man]3671-a lost man , had no defense . [The birds]3672-the birds attacked . Feathers were everywhere . Beaks were knocking together , and there was nothing [I]1563-i could do other than toss [my]1563-i to - go box of food as far from [me]1563-i as [I]1563-i could and hold on for dear life until [they]740-my brothers left [me]1563-i a shaking shell of [a man]2703-a man on [the boardwalk]3674-the boardwalk . ”[1563-i] Chuckling so hard , [I]0-i feel tears under [my]0-i eyes , [I]0-i say , “ Oh my God , [you]1563-i were almost pecked to death . ”[0-i] “ That was n’t even the worst part . ”[1563-i] “ What was the worst part ? ”[1563-i] “ When [I]1563-i was screaming at [them]740-my brothers , begging [them]740-my brothers to leave [me]1563-i alone , one of [them]740-my brothers pooped . ”[1563-i] “ Gah , [you]1563-i were pooped on ? [They]740-my brothers took [your]1563-i food and then did a doo - doo on [you]1563-i ? How is that fair ? ”[1563-i] “ It ’s not , but , with all of the flapping and flailing , the poop somehow flipped in [my]0-i direction and landed on [my]0-i face . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gasp and cover [my]0-i mouth . “ Oh my God , no , it did n’t . ”[0-i] “ It did . Bird shit landed on [my]1563-i face . Needless to say , [my]1563-i already shitty day — no pun intended — became an even shittier one . ”[1563-i] [I]1563-i ’m surprised [you]1563-i came back [here]2716-here after that . ”[1563-i] “ Was n’t [the pier]1389-the pier ’s fault , ”[1564-i] [he]1564-i says . “ It was [mine]1563-i for naively thinking [I]1564-i could eat a meal in [a place where [tourists]3678-tourists have no concept of not feeding the wildlife , because the more [you]3679-you feed [them]3678-tourists]3677-a place where tourists have no concept of not feeding the wildlife , because the more you feed them , the more aggressive [they]3678-tourists become . A lesson was learned , and whenever [I]1564-i come here now , it ’s usually just [me]1564-i and [my]1564-i thoughts . Well . . . now [you]3679-you . ”[1564-i] [We]1565-we reach the end of [the pier]1389-the pier . [I]0-i walk up to the railing and lean against it , gazing at the waves and the expanse of darkness . The breeze picks up , a chill rushes through [me]0-i , and before [I]0-i can cross [my]0-i arms for added warmth , [JP]87-jp places [his]87-jp leather jacket on [my]0-i back . [I]0-i glance over [my]0-i shoulder and find [him]87-jp in [his]87-jp thin , long - sleeved T - shirt . [JP]87-jp , [I]87-jp do n’t want [you]87-jp to be cold . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m good , do n’t worry about [me]87-jp , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says before coming up behind [me]0-i , putting [his]87-jp arms on either side of [me]0-i on the fence , and leaning [his]87-jp chest against [my]0-i back . [I]0-i ’m pinned against the rail . For a moment , [I]0-i ’m stiff , unsure what to do , but when the warmth hits [me]0-i , [I]0-i ease into the hold . “ How ’s [[your]87-jp mom]3567-your mom ? Still enjoying being alone with [[her]3567-your mom man]3681-her man , [Jeff]124-jeff , in [[their]1567-them house]1341-their house ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Yes . ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey was living with [them]1567-them and one of the main reasons [she]89-kelsey struck up a deal with [Huxley]90-huxley in the first place was to give [[our]1568-our mom]1569-our mom and [Jeff]124-jeff some privacy after many years of dealing with [[us]1568-our girls]1570-us girls . [Jeff]124-jeff and [[our]1568-our mom]1569-our mom have been to many dinners and outdoor parties at [Lottie]89-kelsey and [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s house]899-huxley ’s house , and [JP]87-jp and [Breaker]97-breaker know [them]1567-them by now . [They]1567-them ’re loving it . Currently , [they]1567-them ’re building a pergola and fighting over what color to paint it . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp rests [his]87-jp chin on [my]0-i shoulder , the scruff of [his]87-jp cheek pressing against [mine]0-i . Call [me]0-i crazy , but this does n’t seem very short - term companionship - like , this feels like more , and [my]0-i romantic heart is trying to make something of it , while [my]0-i brain is telling it no , no , no , no . “ What color does [[your]0-i mom]3567-your mom want to paint it ? ”[87-jp] “ Black , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , leaning more against [his]87-jp chest . [She]3567-your mom wants to go with the trends . And of course , [Jeff]124-jeff , [the traditionalist]3684-the traditionalist , wants to stain it , because to [him]124-jeff , painting wood is an absolute sin . ”[0-i] “ Who do [you]0-i think is going to win ? ”[87-jp] [[My]87-jp mom]1250-my mom , of course . [She]1250-my mom always wins . [I]87-jp ’m sure [she]1250-my mom ’ll let [him]124-jeff win in another way , though . Maybe with some potted plant to decorate [the area]686-the area . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s right , [he]124-jeff ’s [an avid gardener]3687-an avid gardener . Maybe [he]124-jeff ’s putting up a big fight about the color , then intentionally letting [her]1250-my mom win so [she]1250-my mom ’ll allow [him]124-jeff to pick the plants . ”[0-i] “ Ooo , [I]87-jp never thought of it that way . Knowing [Jeff]124-jeff , [I]87-jp could see [him]124-jeff doing that . ”[87-jp] “ When the pergola is done , are [they]3688-they going to have [you]0-i over to test it out ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’m sure [they]3688-they will . Although , [we]3689-we ’ve been spending more time as [a family]3690-a family at [Huxley]90-huxley and [[Lottie]89-kelsey ’s]3691-lottie ’s . [Mom]101-mom wants to host a bridal shower for [Lottie]89-kelsey in [[their]3688-they backyard]411-their backyard . Being [[her]101-mom maid of honor]3693-her maid of honor and all , [I]0-i ’ll help make that happen . Hey , are [you]1573-i [the best man]3694-the best man ? ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker and [I]1573-i are sharing the responsibility , ”[1573-i] [he]1573-i answers . “ But since [I]1573-i ’m older [I]1573-i get to walk down the aisle with [the maid of honor]3695-the maid of honor . Lucky [you]1573-i . ”[1573-i] “ Oh , yes , lucky [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m sure [you]1573-i will make some inappropriate comments . ”[0-i] “ Would n’t be right if [I]1573-i did n’t . ”[1573-i] [He]1573-i sighs and then says , [I]1573-i ’m happy for [Huxley]90-huxley , though , despite how [their]3696-their relationship came about . Since [he]1573-i ’s [the oldest]3697-the oldest , [I]1573-i feel like [he]1573-i ’s always carried the burden of making sure [we]3698-we ’re all taken care of . When [we]3698-we decided to invest money into a business of [our]3698-we own , [he]1573-i sat [us]3698-we down and said [he]1573-i was setting [us]3698-we up for the future , which [he]1573-i did . [Financially]215-financially , [Breaker]97-breaker and [I]1573-i are both set . [We]3698-we do n’t have to worry . ”[1573-i] “ But when it comes to happiness ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Still figuring that out . ”[0-i] [He]1574-he straightens up and says , [I]1574-he ’m sure [you]0-i have some early morning meetings . [I]1574-he should get [you]0-i back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . ”[1574-he] “ Unfortunately , [I]1574-he do . ”[1574-he] [I]0-i turn to face [him]1574-he and just catch the way [his]1574-he face almost falls in disappointment . But [he]1574-he puts [his]1574-he arm around [my]0-i shoulders again , and together , [we]1575-we walk back up [the pier]1389-the pier . “ Thank [you]0-i , again , for tonight . [I]1574-he had a lot of fun . ”[1574-he] [I]1574-he did , too , ”[1574-he] [he]1574-he says . [I]1574-he was kind of afraid when [we]1575-we were told to come up here that it would be awkward and weird . It was at first , but these last two days have been really great . Just what [I]1574-he needed . ”[1574-he] “ Yeah , about that , ”[1574-he] [he]1574-he says just as [his]1574-he phone rings in [his]1574-he pocket . Groaning , [he]1574-he takes it out , and [I]0-i see [Huxley]90-huxley ’s name flash across it before [he]1574-he silences the phone call . But it ’s only seconds before [Huxley]90-huxley rings again . “ Must be important , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Go ahead , answer it . [I]0-i ’ll meet [you]1574-he in [the car]887-the car . ”[0-i] [You]0-i sure ? ”[1574-he] [he]1574-he asks . “ Yeah . It ’s fine . ”[1574-he] [I]0-i go to take off [his]1574-he jacket but [he]1574-he holds [his]1574-he hand up . “ Keep it . [I]1574-he ’m fine . ”[1574-he] And then [he]1574-he turns away and brings the phone to [his]1574-he ear . “ What ? ”[1574-he] [he]1574-he answers in an annoyed tone . As [I]0-i walk toward [the car]887-the car , [I]0-i hear a distant “ Fuck ”[1574-he] slip out of [his]1574-he mouth and [my]0-i stomach immediately churns with worry . It takes [him]1574-he about ten minutes before [he]1574-he joins [me]0-i in [the warm car]1578-the warm car , and when [he]1574-he sits down , [I]0-i can tell the good mood [he]1574-he was in is gone as [he]1574-he moves [his]1574-he hand over [his]1574-he jaw . [I]0-i ’m afraid to ask , but [I]0-i know if [I]0-i do n’t at least check with [him]1574-he , [I]0-i ’ll regret it . “ Everything okay ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , ”[1574-he] [he]1574-he says through clenched teeth . “ Just some bullshit stuff [I]1574-he have to deal with tomorrow . ”[1574-he] “ Anything [I]0-i can help with ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [He]1574-he shakes [his]1574-he head and looks out the window . “ Nah , nothing [you]0-i can deal with . ”[1574-he] And then , that ’s it . [He]1574-he shuts down . What once was a perfect evening quickly vanishes and [I]0-i do n’t know what to do . What to say . Or how to help [him]1574-he . Therefore , [we]1579-we drive the rest of the way in silence . And when [we]1579-we get to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , [I]0-i hand [him]1574-he [his]1574-he jacket and [he]1574-he tells [me]0-i to have a good night . Even though [JP]87-jp was fun and mostly easygoing tonight , [I]0-i ’m sad with how it ended . [I]0-i ’m sad [he]1574-he shut down on [me]0-i , because despite what [he]1574-he ’s said about friendship between [men]2682-men and [women]2683-women , [I]0-i felt as though [he]1574-he let [me]0-i in as [[his]1574-he friend]1583-his friend tonight . And then , that simply . . . vanished .

Chapter Fourteen

[JP]87-jp

[I]0-i was going to kiss [her]1584-her last night . There was no doubt in [my]0-i mind that [I]0-i was going to either kiss [her]1584-her on [the pier]1389-the pier or at [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . It was going to happen , [I]0-i was fucking ready , willing , and needy . But then , [Huxley]90-huxley ’s call happened . [Regis]180-regis had gone behind [my]0-i back to [Huxley]90-huxley , saying [Kelsey]89-kelsey is n’t experienced enough for the position . [He]1574-he believes [we]1587-we should n’t have faith in [her]89-kelsey and that [we]1587-we should hire [someone else]2834-someone else . [Someone on [his]1574-he team]1589-someone on his team . [Huxley]90-huxley told [me]0-i to set [my]0-i project straight . [I]0-i did n’t even want this fucking project . [I]0-i blew a goddamn gasket , and even though [my]0-i phone call with [Huxley]90-huxley was only short , [I]0-i took a moment before getting back in [the car]887-the car . [I]0-i did n’t want to blow up in front of [Kelsey]89-kelsey . And by the time [I]0-i got back in [the car]887-the car , the moment was over . And fuck was [I]0-i in a bad mood about it last night . Instead of going to bed , [I]0-i put on some workout clothes and went for a run . When [I]0-i got back , [I]0-i thought about checking on [her]89-kelsey , but by then , it was past midnight and [I]0-i knew [she]89-kelsey ’d be asleep . What [I]0-i would ’ve given to tell [her]89-kelsey how [I]0-i ’ve been feeling about [her]89-kelsey , because , if anything , last night confirmed something for [me]0-i . The night was perfect because [I]0-i spent it with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [I]0-i loved hearing [her]89-kelsey moans of pleasure , [her]89-kelsey utter delight in the drag show , [her]89-kelsey obvious love of the beauty that is [San Francisco Bay]47-san francisco bay , and [her]89-kelsey clear enjoyment of being with [me]0-i , too . So , [I]0-i was about to tell [her]89-kelsey everything . [Huxley]90-huxley has the worst timing ever . [I]0-i wish [I]0-i was n’t [that person who let small things affect [my]0-i mood]1592-that person who let small things affect my mood , [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could just let [them]1593-them roll off [me]0-i and enjoy the moment , but that ’s not [me]0-i . It ’s why [I]0-i woke up this morning , ready to make it up to [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i had some bagels delivered , put together a fruit platter , and spent some time making bacon and eggs . The last two days have been different , and [I]0-i felt [we]1594-we ’ve connected on another level . [I]0-i hope [she]89-kelsey ’s seen a different side of [me]0-i , a side that appeals to [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey finds [me]0-i attractive — and [I]0-i do n’t say that in a conceited way . [I]0-i see the way [she]89-kelsey looks at [me]0-i , but as [she]89-kelsey ’s proven , attraction does n’t mean everything to [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey wants [a partner]1595-a partner in this life , and unless [I]0-i show [her]89-kelsey [I]0-i can be [that kind of man for [her]89-kelsey]1596-that kind of man for her , [I]0-i ’m not sure [she]89-kelsey ’ll ever give [me]0-i a chance . But [I]0-i ’m there . [I]0-i can feel it . Last night , the night before . . . [I]0-i can be [the man [she]89-kelsey needs]1597-the man she needs , and this morning , [I]0-i plan on driving that [home]2941-home . [[The Mayor]3168-the mayor ’s Ball]1600-the mayor ’s ball is tonight and [my]0-i plan is to spoil [her]89-kelsey with a trip to find a dress , to get [her]89-kelsey hair and makeup done , to make the entire night special , and when the moment is right , [I]0-i ’m going to ask [her]89-kelsey out . [I]0-i ’m going to ask [her]89-kelsey to give [me]0-i a chance . [I]0-i ’m fucking nervous as shit , but [I]0-i know if [I]0-i do n’t ask [her]89-kelsey , [I]0-i ’ll regret it . [I]0-i ’m in the middle of constructing the breakfast sandwiches when [she]89-kelsey comes into [the living room]2689-the living room wearing a pair of tight black pants and a maroon tank top . Fuck , [she]89-kelsey ’s so pretty , so pretty it ’s painful . When [she]89-kelsey spots [me]0-i in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen again , [she]89-kelsey pauses and adjusts the earring [she]89-kelsey ’s trying to put in . “ Morning , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say to [her]89-kelsey , [my]0-i heart pounding a mile a minute . [She]89-kelsey smiles . “ Good morning . Did [you]0-i make [me]89-kelsey breakfast again ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey did . ”[89-kelsey] Pride beams through [me]0-i . “ How do [you]89-kelsey feel about breakfast sandwiches ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey feel very positive about them . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey walks up to [me]0-i , [her]89-kelsey perfume creating a goddamn vise - like grip around [my]0-i chest , constricting it . “ Are [you]89-kelsey feeling better from last night ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah . ”[0-i] [I]0-i reach out and take [her]89-kelsey hand in [mine]0-i . So soft , so perfect for [mine]0-i . “ Sorry about the way [I]0-i reacted . [Huxley]90-huxley told [me]0-i some bullshit that [I]0-i have to deal with tonight and it put [me]0-i in a bad mood . [I]0-i should n’t have responded that way , especially since [we]1603-we were having such a good time . ”[0-i] “ What ’s tonight — oh , [you]89-kelsey have to go to [that mayor]3701-that mayor ’s ball thing , right ? ”[1604-she] “ Yeah , [I]0-i do . Fancy event with [a bunch of [people]2736-people [I]0-i have to talk to]3702-a bunch of people i have to talk to . ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [our]1603-we palms together . “ But , [I]0-i was thinking — ”[0-i] “ Do [you]0-i know what [you]0-i ’re wearing ? ”[1604-she] [she]1604-she asks . “ A ball gown , [I]1604-she hope . ”[1604-she] [She]1604-she wiggles [her]1604-she brows , causing [me]0-i to chuckle . “ Yeah , it ’s being dry - cleaned as [we]1603-we speak . [I]1604-she pick it up at noon . ”[1604-she] [You]0-i must show [me]1604-she pictures when [I]1604-she get back from [my]1604-she date , ”[1604-she] [she]1604-she says as [she]1604-she releases [my]0-i hand and walks over to the coffeemaker , grabbing [herself]1604-she a mug . [I]0-i can feel all the color completely drain out of [my]0-i face , leaving [me]0-i ashen , anguished . . . shook . Date . . . Fuck , [she]1604-she has that date set up with [[Dave Toney]168-dave ’s brother]1605-dave toney ’s brother . [I]0-i completely forgot about it . After the two nights [we]1606-we spent together , is [she]1604-she still going on that ? Hell , a part of [me]0-i thought that maybe [she]1604-she would n’t . That maybe [she]1604-she ’d set [him]1605-dave toney ’s brother aside , give [me]0-i a chance . Evidently , that was a stupid assumption . What do [you]1607-you think , [dickhead]1608-dickhead ? [You]1607-you ’re [the one who has pushed that [your]1607-you time together]1609-the one who has pushed that your time together is simply a short - term companionship . [She]1604-she wants long - term love . Fuck . [I]0-i grip the back of [my]0-i neck , this new emotion bubbling up inside [me]0-i , piercing [my]0-i chest , constricting [my]0-i lungs . “ Still , uh , still going on that date ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i stammer out , [my]0-i mind whirling . Oblivious to the multitude of emotions racing through [me]0-i , [she]1604-she starts [her]1604-she coffee pod and turns toward [me]0-i , [her]1604-she hands on the counter . “ Yes , and [I]1604-she ’m nervous . What should [I]1604-she wear ? ”[1604-she] One of those hideous peasant dresses from [Target]48-target . Fuck ! Do n’t wear anything , instead stay here with [me]0-i . Cancel the date . See [me]0-i . . . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Fucking see [me]0-i . But the confession is lost on [my]0-i insecure tongue , and instead of voicing what [I]0-i really want to tell [her]1604-she , [I]0-i turn away and mumble , “ What [you]1604-she ’re wearing is fine . ”[0-i] Why did [I]0-i think [she]1604-she was n’t going to go on that date ? Maybe because the last two nights , things have almost felt like . . . [we]1610-we ’ve been on dates . Yeah , [I]0-i told [her]1604-she they were time spent with [[her]1604-she short - term companion]1611-her short - term companion , but [I]0-i still thought maybe [she]1604-she felt something , a connection . Last night [I]0-i wanted to show [her]1604-she a good time , [I]0-i wanted to show [her]1604-she that [we]1610-we could have fun together , not just bicker . [I]0-i wanted to show [her]1604-she [I]0-i could be someone [she]1604-she could depend on . [Someone who fulfills what [she]1604-she ’s looking for]1612-someone who fulfills what she ’s looking for . The light touches . The interesting conversation . The self - deprecating stories . [I]0-i fucking tried last night , until [Huxley]90-huxley called . [Fucking Huxley]90-huxley . [I]0-i never should ’ve answered the phone . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t wear this on a date , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as if [I]0-i suggested the most preposterous thing ever . “ It ’s business attire . ”[89-kelsey] “ Are n’t dates like business at first , though ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [I]0-i finish stacking [her]1604-she plate with food . [I]0-i do n’t bother taking it over to the table , but leave it on the counter for [her]1604-she and head to the table with [my]0-i plate . “ Uh , [they]3704-they are n’t for [me]0-i . Not sure how [you]1614-you treat a date , but they ’re supposed to be fun and exciting , a separate part of [your]1614-you day , something to look forward to . If [I]0-i wear this outfit , [I]0-i ’ll just be reminded of work . Plus , [I]0-i like wearing dresses on dates . ”[0-i] [She]1604-she did n’t wear a dress when [we]1613-we went out . Because it was n’t a fucking date , [[you]1614-you idiot]1280-you idiot . Could ’ve been , if [you]1614-you were able to actually tell [her]1604-she how [you]1614-you feel . [I]1604-she do n’t want to be too fancy , though , ”[1604-she] [she]1604-she continues , really driving what feels like a knife into [my]0-i back . [I]0-i know [I]0-i have no right to feel this way , but [I]0-i ca n’t control it . All [I]0-i can think about is how [this girl]2758-this girl , whom [I]0-i ’ve crushed on for a bit now , is going out with [someone else]2834-someone else after [I]0-i ’ve attempted to show [her]2758-this girl how [I]0-i could be someone [she]2758-this girl might like . “ Get this , [you]2758-this girl ’re going to laugh . ”[1619-a douche] Doubtful . [He]2800-the guy ’s taking [me]1619-a douche to [the Crab House]1404-the crab house . Can [you]2758-this girl believe that ? ”[1619-a douche] Yes , [I]0-i can . Because [the guy]2800-the guy seems like [a douche]1619-a douche . Because [he]2800-the guy ’s not [me]0-i . Because [he]2800-the guy does n’t fucking know [you]1620-you as [I]0-i do . [He]2800-the guy does n’t know that [you]1620-you need [someone]364-someone to push [you]1620-you out of [your]1620-you comfort zone . [He]2800-the guy does n’t know that [you]1620-you ’re [someone who would enjoy something like a drag show]1622-someone who would enjoy something like a drag show but would never go [yourself]1620-you . [He]2800-the guy does n’t know that [you]1620-you ’d appreciate a quiet walk along [an empty boardwalk]1623-an empty boardwalk where [you]1620-you can appreciate the small things like a starry sky and the sound of [your]1620-you feet tapping along the old wood . “ But unlike when [you]1620-you and [I]2800-the guy had dinner [there]2954-there , [I]2800-the guy ca n’t possibly order a whole crab , snap the leg off in front of [him]2800-the guy , and wear a bib . ”[2800-the guy] “ Why the hell not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Because , with [you]1620-you , it did n’t matter . [I]0-i was n’t trying to impress [you]1620-you . [I]0-i do n’t want [Derek]166-derek thinking [I]0-i ’m some psycho who likes mutilating sea creatures . [I]0-i mean , [I]0-i ’m not , but let ’s be honest , [I]0-i was sort of putting on a show when it came to snapping those legs . [I]0-i wanted to startle [you]1620-you . ”[0-i] Mission accomplished , but [I]0-i also found it endearing . [I]0-i liked it . [I]1624-she think [I]1624-she might just get a salad , ”[1624-she] [she]1624-she continues . “ That ’s bullshit , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say under [my]0-i breath . “ What ? ”[1624-she] [she]1624-she asks as [she]1624-she grabs [her]1624-she fresh coffee , puts a dab of milk and some sugar in it , and then brings [her]1624-she plate and mug to the table to join [me]0-i . [I]1624-she said , that ’s bullshit . ”[1624-she] [My]0-i tone has an edge to it now and [I]0-i can see from the way [she]1624-she sits back , eyes on [me]0-i , that [she]1624-she noticed as well . “ Wait , are [you]0-i mad ? ”[1624-she] Yes . Irritated , as well . Also , jealous . Really fucking jealous . “ Just do n’t try to be someone [you]0-i ’re not , is all . ”[1624-she] No use starting a fight with [her]1624-she . [I]1624-she ’m not , ”[1624-she] [she]1624-she says , mildly insulted . [You]0-i are if [you]0-i do n’t get a crab . ”[1624-she] [I]1624-she like salads too , [you]0-i know ? ”[1624-she] “ Then why did n’t [you]0-i get a salad when [we]3707-we went to [the Crab House]1404-the crab house ? ”[1624-she] “ Because [I]1624-she ’m more comfortable around [you]0-i , ”[1624-she] [she]1624-she shoots back , and that confession nearly brings a smile to [my]0-i face , only for it to be wiped away as [she]1624-she says , [I]1624-she do n’t expect [you]0-i to understand this since [you]0-i do n’t dare date [people]2736-people . [You]0-i only test - run [them]2736-people to make sure [they]2736-people ’re good enough for [your]0-i bed . ”[1624-she] Ouch . And there it is , the way [she]1624-she truly sees [me]0-i . “ Is that what [you]1624-she really think ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [You]1624-she ’ve had [one girlfriend]3710-one girlfriend , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Because [no one]2811-no one has been interesting enough for [me]0-i to consider going any further than a few dates . [I]0-i was just starting to get to know [Genesis]144-genesis before the gala , but [we]3712-we had n’t slept together . Has n’t [anyone]377-anyone ever told [you]1624-she quality versus quantity , [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i stand from [my]0-i chair , pick up [my]0-i plate and coffee , and walk away . If [I]0-i do n’t now , [I]0-i ’ll say something [I]0-i ’ll regret . [JP]87-jp , wait . [I]0-i did n’t mean to insult [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ It ’s fine , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i call out . “ Have a good date . ”[0-i] [I]0-i close [my]0-i door behind [me]0-i and then slowly slide down it until [I]0-i ’m sitting on the floor . [I]0-i set [my]0-i plate and mug down and then grip [my]0-i hair in [my]0-i hands , pain ripping through [me]0-i . Fuck . [I]0-i should just go tell [her]1625-her how [I]0-i feel . [I]0-i should tear through this door , disrupt [her]1625-her breakfast , and ask [her]1625-her to not go on the date , but to go to [[the Mayor]3168-the mayor ’s Ball]1600-the mayor ’s ball with [me]0-i instead . But [I]0-i did already ask [her]1625-her . . . and [she]1625-her chose the date . [I]0-i do n’t think [she]1625-her ’ll ever see [me]0-i as someone [she]1625-her wants to know better . [I]0-i ’m [the guy who fucks around , not the settling type]1628-the guy who fucks around , not the settling type . And that ’s a fucking painful realization . Before [I]0-i met [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey was n’t wrong . As [I]0-i said to [her]89-kelsey , though , [I]0-i have n’t found someone [I]0-i thought [I]0-i wanted to spend more than a night or three with . There has n’t been an intellectual , physical , or emotional connection . Unlike with [Kelsey]89-kelsey , where [I]0-i feel all three . Even though [I]0-i tease [her]89-kelsey , purposefully aggravate [her]89-kelsey — because [she]89-kelsey ’s fun to fluster — [I]0-i do respect [her]89-kelsey . And [I]0-i want more . [I]0-i do see [her]89-kelsey as someone [I]0-i ’d consider settling down with . [I]0-i ’ve never had to try hard to get [a woman]3073-a woman to want [me]0-i . And the first time [I]0-i do , [I]0-i ’m rejected . Can [I]0-i change [her]3073-a woman mind ? Or is it a lost cause ?

* * *

“ Are [you]0-i there ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks as [I]0-i sit in [[my]0-i car]595-my car , staring out the window , listening to [his]0-i annoying voice through the phone . “ Yes , [I]0-i ’m here , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer through a clenched jaw . “ Why do [you]0-i sound short ? ”[0-i] “ Oh , [I]0-i do n’t know , maybe because [I]0-i ’m in a goddamn tuxedo at [this stupid Mayor ’s Ball]3714-this stupid mayor ’s ball , where [I]0-i have to not only speak with [Regis]180-regis about [his]180-regis stupid bullshit , but also suck up to [the mayor]3168-the mayor . ”[0-i] “ This is to expand the business , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Do n’t [you]0-i think [we]3716-we ’ve expanded enough ? [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , [Huxley]90-huxley , [we]3716-we can barely keep up with everything [we]3716-we have going on . [You]0-i ’re getting married , and [you]0-i ’re going to start [a family]3690-a family . Do [you]0-i really think starting more projects is a smart idea ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i thought it was a smart idea months ago , so why am [I]0-i hearing differently now ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i actually did n’t say anything in that meeting , if [you]0-i ’d paid attention . [You]0-i rattled on about new opportunities , [Breaker]97-breaker nodded with dollar signs in [his]97-breaker eyes , while [I]0-i sat there , wondering why the fuck [we]3716-we were going to start something new when [our]3716-we plates were already full . ”[0-i] “ Then [you]0-i should ’ve spoken up . [We]3716-we ’re not mind readers . ”[0-i] [I]0-i have spoken up , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout into the phone , the better part of [my]0-i cool completely gone . The irritation and annoyance of this morning erupt in one smooth punch to [Huxley]90-huxley . [I]90-huxley ’ve said shit to [you]0-i before , but [you]0-i never listen . [You]0-i and [Breaker]97-breaker never fucking listen . So here [I]90-huxley am , sitting in [[my]90-huxley goddamn car]3718-my goddamn car , waiting to go into this ball to help accomplish [your]0-i dreams , not [mine]90-huxley . ”[90-huxley] “ For [the company]3158-the company , [JP]87-jp . Not for [me]0-i . For [the company]3158-the company . ”[0-i] [The company]3158-the company is [you]0-i , and [we]3722-we ’re just [[your]0-i minions]3723-your minions along for the ride . ”[90-huxley] “ Where the fuck is all of this coming from ? Did something happen up there ? ”[90-huxley] “ Of course , that ’s what [you]0-i ’d assume , that something would happen that would put [me]1631-i in this mood , right ? It ca n’t possibly be how [I]1631-i actually feel . ”[1631-i] [He]1631-i ’s silent for a second and then says , [I]1631-i think [you]0-i and [I]1631-i need to have a meeting . ”[1631-i] “ Yeah , no fucking thank [you]1631-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before hanging up . [I]0-i press [my]0-i fingers to [my]0-i brow and take a deep , calming breath . Chill , [man]3096-man . It ’s hard to chill when it feels like nothing is right . Absolutely nothing . [I]0-i do n’t feel good in [my]0-i own skin , like . . . [I]0-i do n’t belong here . [Here]2716-here [I]0-i am chastising [Kelsey]89-kelsey for trying to be someone [she]89-kelsey ’s not when [I]0-i ’m doing the same exact thing as [her]89-kelsey . “ Are [you]0-i ready to get out , [sir]2771-sir ? ”[1634-my driver] [[my]0-i driver]1634-my driver asks [me]0-i . For a brief moment , [I]0-i consider what would happen if [I]0-i do n’t go in [there]2954-there . If [I]0-i do n’t find [Regis]180-regis and put [him]180-regis in [his]180-regis place . If [I]0-i do n’t talk to [the mayor]3168-the mayor about [our]1637-our[3168-the mayor] plans . [We]1637-our ’d have a tougher time winning bids on [any more historic buildings]1638-any more historic buildings . But that ’s not that big of a deal in [my]0-i opinion . But what about [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? What kind of uphill battle will [she]89-kelsey have if [Regis]180-regis continues to undermine [her]89-kelsey ? Why should [I]0-i care ? Because [you]1639-you do . Because [you]1639-you care about [her]89-kelsey . Despite the fact that [she]89-kelsey ’s on a date right now with [another man]1640-another man , [I]0-i still care about [her]89-kelsey . And that ’s the reason [I]0-i ’m opening [my]0-i car door , buttoning [my]0-i tuxedo jacket , and temporarily wiping away the anger in the pit of [my]0-i stomach , ready to be unleashed . [I]0-i let [[my]0-i driver]1634-my driver know [I]0-i wo n’t be long , then stuff [my]0-i phone in [my]0-i pocket when [I]0-i reach the front entrance . No need to hit up the red carpet . [I]0-i ’m not interested in that shit , not when [I]0-i ’m feeling so resentful . [Huxley]90-huxley will bitch about it later , since [he]1642-he likes to have [us]1643-us show [our]1643-us faces at events like this , but if [he]1642-he wants it done [his]1642-he way , then next time , [he]1642-he can go . [I]0-i slip through the door after getting checked off the guest list and head straight to [the massive bar at [the back of [the ballroom]763-the ballroom]1645-the back of the ballroom]1644-the massive bar at the back of the ballroom . [I]0-i bypass the name - card table since [I]0-i ’m not staying for dinner , do n’t bother shaking hands with [the people milling about]1647-the people milling about , and drop [my]0-i hand on the edge of the bar and order two fingers of Scotch . Then [I]0-i turn around and scan [the crowd]715-the crowd . To [an outsider]1649-an outsider , an event like this would seem so glamourous with the designer dresses and the well - pressed suits , but to [me]0-i , it ’s just another night in [the elite world [I]0-i live in]1650-the elite world i live in . There ’s nothing great that happens for [humankind]1651-humankind at these events . Instead , hands are shaken , deals are made , and [enemies]1071-enemies become frenemies for a moment in time as [they]1071-enemies fake interested expressions for [the people around [them]1071-enemies]1653-the people around them . The benefit of these events is for [the people solely in [this room]3125-this room]1654-the people solely in this room , and [no one else]1656-no one else . [The mayor]3168-the mayor is n’t here to formulate change , [he]3168-the mayor ’s here to shake hands with [people who can help secure [his]3168-the mayor vote]1658-people who can help secure his vote . It ’s sad , but that ’s the way [the world]2761-the world works , unfortunately . [JP]87-jp , did n’t think [I]180-regis ’d see [you]87-jp tonight , ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis says , standing next to [me]0-i at the bar . [He]180-regis orders [us]1660-us both a Scotch and [I]0-i let [him]180-regis . “ Was n’t sure [you]87-jp attended these events . ”[180-regis] Only when forced to . Thankfully , [Regis]180-regis is making this easy on [me]0-i , and [I]0-i did n’t have to seek [him]180-regis out . “ When the mood strikes [me]1661-the bartender , [I]1661-the bartender ’ll put on a tuxedo . ”[1661-the bartender] [The bartender]1661-the bartender hands each of [us]1660-us [our]1660-us drinks , and [I]0-i slip a twenty - dollar bill into [his]180-regis tip jar before turning back around to face [the gathering]1662-the gathering . Time to get down to business . “ Heard [you]180-regis called [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[0-i] [I]0-i sip [my]0-i drink . [I]0-i keep [my]0-i eyes ahead , making sure to give off the vibe that [I]0-i ’m not happy . [I]180-regis did , ”[180-regis] [Regis]180-regis says , not even bothering to hide [his]180-regis arrogance . [I]180-regis felt like the call needed to be made . ”[180-regis] [I]0-i stick one hand in [my]0-i pocket . “ Why ? ”[180-regis] [I]180-regis felt like [you]180-regis were preoccupied with other things , not seeing the damage [her]90-huxley ideas could have to [the building]3134-the building . ”[180-regis] “ And what exactly was [I]180-regis preoccupied with ? Because , as [I]180-regis recall , [I]180-regis was present for that entire first meeting , and all [I]180-regis saw from [you]180-regis was misogynistic behavior that will not be tolerated . ”[180-regis] From the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i see [him]180-regis shift , and then [he]180-regis says , [You]0-i were preoccupied with [her]1663-her . [I]180-regis saw the way [you]0-i stared at [her]1663-her mouth , got lost in [her]1663-her words , sided with [her]1663-her ideas . ”[180-regis] Insecurity constricts [my]0-i throat . Is that fucking true ? [I]0-i do n’t recall looking at [her]1663-her a certain way or paying attention to [her]1663-her more . Either way , it ’s not [his]180-regis fucking place to make that kind of call . Before answering , [I]0-i take a sip of [my]0-i Scotch and then turn toward [him]180-regis . [He]180-regis ’s still facing [the crowd]715-the crowd and [I]0-i speak very carefully , so [he]180-regis can hear everything clearly . [You]0-i must be mistaken , [Regis]180-regis , because [she]1663-her ’s [a colleague]3726-a colleague , nothing more , and unlike [some other men]3727-some other men , [I]0-i ’m sure [someone like [you]180-regis]3728-someone like you , [I]0-i have the ability to keep [my]0-i mind focused on the project and not [the woman attempting to use [her]1663-her voice]3729-the woman attempting to use her voice . What [you]180-regis might have seen as affection or one - sidedness toward [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner was merely the ability to listen attentively to [an intelligent woman]3730-an intelligent woman , [a woman who ’s a partner in [our]3732-we business]3731-a woman who ’s a partner in our business . ”[0-i] [I]0-i step a little closer . “ Did [you]1665-you hear that ? [A partner]1595-a partner . Do [you]1665-you know what being [a partner with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises]3734-a partner with cane enterprises entails ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i wait for [him]1665-you to answer , but all [he]1665-you does is swallow back [his]1665-you drink . “ Being [a partner]1595-a partner means [we]3732-we ’ve vetted [you]1665-you . [We]3732-we ’ve made sure that not only are [you]1665-you credible , but [we]3732-we have confidence in putting [our]3732-we name on [your]1665-you brand . [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner and [her]172-miss gardner business , [Sustainably Organized]49-sustainably organized , is [a partner]1595-a partner . [She]172-miss gardner ’s fully trusted by [all three of [the Cane brothers]3391-the cane brothers]3737-all three of the cane brothers . [We]3732-we ’ve invested in [[her]172-miss gardner company]3739-her company to help [[our]3732-we company]3335-our company , so any problem [you]1665-you might have with [her]172-miss gardner is a problem with [us]3732-we . Do [you]1665-you understand that ? ”[1666-he] [He]1666-he nods . “ And when working in the future with [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , [you]1665-you will not only listen to [her]172-miss gardner suggestions , but [you]1665-you will respect them . ”[1666-he] [He]1666-he nods again . “ Because if [you]1665-you do n’t respect [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , then [your]1665-you days working with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises are numbered . ”[1666-he] [I]0-i grip [his]1666-he shoulder and lighten [my]0-i voice as [I]0-i say , “ Have a good evening , [Regis]180-regis . ”[0-i] [Asshole]1667-asshole . How the fuck did [we]1668-we end up working with [him]1666-he ? As [I]0-i go to move past [him]1666-he , [a large man in an all - black suit]1669-a large man in an all - black suit walks up to [me]0-i . There ’s an earpiece in [his]1666-he left ear , and there ’s no doubt who [he]1666-he works for . [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , [the mayor]3168-the mayor would like to have a conversation with [you]160-mr. cane . ”[1666-he] Perfect . The sooner [I]0-i can talk to [him]1666-he , the sooner [I]0-i can get the hell out of here . [The guard]1670-the guard walks [me]0-i past [the main ballroom]1671-the main ballroom and through [a series of halls]1672-a series of halls before opening a rather grand door to [[the mayor]3168-the mayor ’s office]1674-the mayor ’s office . [He]3168-the mayor ’ll be with [you]0-i shortly . ”[1670-the guard] The door clicks shut behind [me]0-i , and [I]0-i take that moment to observe [the room]345-the room . [It]345-the room ’s [[the mayor]3168-the mayor ’s private office]1677-the mayor ’s private office . [I]0-i ’ve been in [here]2716-here only one other time . [I]0-i know there ’s a secret door behind one of the bookshelves , and just like [the Oval Office]1679-the oval office , there ’s a door hidden by the seams in the wallpaper , an entrance only [the mayor]3168-the mayor uses . In the middle of [the room]345-the room is a large mahogany desk that has been used by [every mayor of [San Francisco]21-san francisco]1682-every mayor of san francisco for the last God - knows - how - many years , but the pictures on the credenza behind the desk , those are specific to the one and only [Eugene Herbert]216-eugene , [the current mayor of [San Francisco]21-san francisco]1683-the current mayor of san francisco . The secret door slides open and [Eugene]216-eugene walks through with a large smile on [his]216-eugene face and a cigar in hand . [JP Cane]87-jp , [I]216-eugene ’m so glad [you]0-i could make it . ”[216-eugene] [Eugene]216-eugene comes up to [me]0-i and takes [my]0-i hand in [his]216-eugene . [I]0-i offer [him]216-eugene a solid shake and say , [Mr. Mayor]217-mr. mayor , thank [you]216-eugene for the invite . It ’s always nice to catch up with [everyone]2734-everyone . ”[0-i] It ’s painful how fake [I]0-i ’m acting right now . [You]0-i can drop that Mr. Mayor crap . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene laughs and gestures to [the seating area]1684-the seating area . [I]0-i take a seat in a brown leather chair directly across from [him]216-eugene . [He]216-eugene leans over to the coffee table and opens a small box , offering [me]0-i a cigar . [I]0-i hold up [my]0-i hand . [I]0-i ’m good . ”[0-i] “ Not sure [I]216-eugene ’ve ever seen [you]0-i smoke , [Cane]160-mr. cane . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene flicks open a wooden Zippo lighter and takes a few puffs of [his]216-eugene cigar before it ’s lit . “ Not [my]0-i thing , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Never was able to get into it . Cough too much . ”[0-i] [Eugene]216-eugene smiles and blows a puff of smoke into the air . “ Takes some stiff lungs to handle a good cigar . Although , [I]216-eugene see [you]0-i can handle a solid drink . What ’s that ? Brandy ? ”[216-eugene] “ Scotch , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [My]0-i drink of choice as of late . ”[0-i] “ Ah , how ’s business ? ”[216-eugene] “ Good , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ Growing , as always . ”[0-i] [I]216-eugene see that . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene leans forward and knocks [his]216-eugene cigar on an ashtray . “ May [I]216-eugene suggest why [you]0-i ’re here ? ”[216-eugene] “ Please , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Word on [the street]3003-the street is [you]0-i acquired [the Angelica Building]3284-the angelica building . ”[0-i] “ That ’s correct , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , taking another sip of [my]0-i Scotch . “ That was [a very sought - after building]3745-a very sought - after building , so [I]0-i was surprised that [a company based in [Los Angeles]24-los angeles]3746-a company based in los angeles won , given how many [local companies]3747-local companies were after it . ”[0-i] [We]3748-we lucked out . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene nods [his]216-eugene head . “ What are [your]216-eugene plans ? ”[216-eugene] “ Currently , those are classified . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene raises [his]216-eugene brow as if to say do [you]0-i know whom [you]0-i ’re talking to ? But [I]0-i know how to play this game , so [I]0-i ’ll let [him]216-eugene pressure [me]0-i ; [he]216-eugene likes power , that ’s why [he]216-eugene ’s smoking a cigar in [[his]216-eugene office]1198-his office , attempting to intimidate [me]0-i . [You]0-i do realize that [I]216-eugene ’m not [an idiot]3099-an idiot , [JP]87-jp . Now that [you]0-i ’ve acquired [the Angelica]27-the angelica , [I]216-eugene know [you]0-i ’re going to want more once [you]0-i ’re done with [that building]3750-that building , and [I]216-eugene also know that [you]0-i have n’t talked with [any of [the historical societies in [town]652-town]3752-the historical societies in town]3751-any of the historical societies in town . Am [I]216-eugene correct ? ”[216-eugene] [I]0-i nod , giving [him]216-eugene a little nibble . [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises is known for [[their]3754-their beautiful buildings around [the country]2865-the country]3755-their beautiful buildings around the country , but [you]0-i ’re also known for [[your]0-i commercial buildings]3757-your commercial buildings that are stripped of all character and maximized for profit . ”[0-i] “ Smart business choice . [I]216-eugene think it ’s done well for [us]3758-we . ”[216-eugene] “ It might have done well for [you]0-i in [other parts of [the country]2865-the country]3759-other parts of the country , but not here . ”[765-the people] “ And that ’s why [we]3758-we do n’t have any plans of stripping down [the Angelica]27-the angelica . [We]3758-we ’re quite aware of the importance of the Angelica to [this city]3320-this city . [We]3758-we also understand preserving history is vital , as well . Rest assured , when [we]3758-we ’re done with the renovations , not only will [the Angelica]27-the angelica be brought back to [her]27-the angelica original beauty , but [she]27-the angelica ’ll be fully functioning , more environmentally friendly , and will help [the people of [this city]3320-this city]3762-the people of this city — if [I]0-i have anything to do with it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i finish , an idea formulating in [my]0-i head . Help [the people]765-the people . That ’s exactly what [I]0-i want to do with [this building]3190-this building . “ Well . . . ”[216-eugene] [Eugene]216-eugene taps [his]216-eugene cigar on the ashtray . “ It seems as though [I]216-eugene ’m just going to have to wait and see . ”[216-eugene] “ Correct . But when [I]216-eugene say [the Angelica]27-the angelica is in the right hands , [I]216-eugene mean it . Once [we]3764-we ’re done , [you]0-i ’ll seek out [more buildings for [us]3764-we to renovate around [[your]0-i beautiful city]3766-your beautiful city]3765-more buildings for us to renovate around your beautiful city . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene lets out a hearty laugh and stands . [I]0-i stand as well . [We]3764-we ’ll see about that , [JP]87-jp . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene holds [his]216-eugene hand out and [I]0-i give it a shake . “ Good seeing [you]0-i . ”[216-eugene] [You]0-i too . . . [Mr. Mayor]217-mr. mayor . ”[216-eugene] [He]216-eugene smirks and then leads [me]0-i out of [[his]216-eugene office]1198-his office . Since [my]0-i work [here]2716-here is done , [I]0-i decide not to stick around , a choice [I]0-i know [Huxley]90-huxley would n’t be happy with , but [I]0-i do n’t give a fuck . [I]0-i ’m feeling like shit , and the only thing [I]0-i want to do right now is sit in front of a fucking screen and do absolutely nothing . [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could say the last half hour has distracted [me]0-i from the turmoil that ’s pulsing through [my]0-i head , but sadly , it has not , because [I]0-i know when [I]0-i get back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , [it]3153-the penthouse ’ll be empty . Not a single light will be on , and when [I]0-i go to [[her]1691-she room]1157-her room and knock on [her]1691-she door , [she]1691-she wo n’t be [there]2954-there . [She]1691-she probably wo n’t be [home]2941-home for a while , which can only mean one thing — [she]1691-she ’s probably bonding with [Derek]166-derek . Having a good time . Getting to know [another man]1640-another man . The drive back is a silent one spent staring out the window . What once used to be [[my]0-i favorite city]1696-my favorite city to visit is quickly becoming [my]0-i least favorite . Funny how quickly that can change , how [a person]1697-a person can remind [you]1698-you of [a place]1012-a place , steal the joy right from [your]1698-you grasp . When [I]0-i arrive back at [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse[a dark penthouse]1701-a dark penthouse[I]0-i change into a pair of shorts , nothing else , and grab a beer from the fridge , [my]0-i only source of alcohol in [the place]452-the place . And [my]0-i phone rings . [I]0-i wonder who that could be — hear the sarcasm ? “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ How did it go ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . “ Do n’t [you]90-huxley have a life ? ”[90-huxley] [I]90-huxley ’m worried about [you]90-huxley . ”[90-huxley] “ About [me]90-huxley or about [your]90-huxley business ? ”[90-huxley] [Our]3767-our business , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . “ And [I]90-huxley ’m worried about [you]90-huxley . [You]90-huxley sound like [you]90-huxley ’re in [a dark place]3768-a dark place . What ’s going on ? [Breaker]97-breaker suggested [you]90-huxley have feelings for [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[90-huxley] [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ . [I]0-i drag [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i face . “ Are [we]3767-our in [some fucking gossiping schoolyard [I]0-i do n’t know about]3769-some fucking gossiping schoolyard i do n’t know about ? [Breaker]97-breaker needs to keep [his]97-breaker mouth shut , and [I]0-i swear to [God]92-god , if [you]90-huxley say anything to [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]0-i ’m going to actually murder [you]90-huxley . ”[0-i] [I]1703-i would n’t , ”[1703-i] [he]1703-i says . “ But is it true ? ”[1703-i] [I]0-i do n’t fucking know , okay ? [I]0-i do n’t fucking know anything . And it ’s not like it matters anyway . [I]0-i ’m not [her]89-kelsey type . [I]0-i ’m [not someone [she]89-kelsey ’d go for]3770-not someone she ’d go for , that ’s evident , because [she]89-kelsey ’s out with [Derek Toney]166-derek right now and [he]166-derek could n’t be more opposite of [me]0-i . And where the fuck did [he]166-derek come from , anyway ? Why is [he]166-derek going out with [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey set it up , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley answers . [Dude]2754-dude , listen , [I]90-huxley ’m going to send [the plane]3171-the plane tomorrow . [I]90-huxley want to have this conversation with [you]2754-dude in person . ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i ’m not going to leave [Kelsey]89-kelsey up here by [herself]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [You]2754-dude ’ll be back . But [we]3773-we have some business to talk about . ”[90-huxley] “ Can [you]2754-dude not ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [I]0-i press [my]0-i fingers to [my]0-i brow . “ Please , for the love of [God]92-god , do n’t . Not right now . ”[0-i] [I]0-i tip back [my]0-i beer . “ And [I]0-i ’m not leaving tomorrow . Send [a plane]3774-a plane all [you]2754-dude want , [I]0-i ’m not getting on it . Actually , [I]0-i have to go . [I]0-i ca n’t fucking deal with this right now . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp , whatever the hell is going on , [you]87-jp need to talk to [us]3775-us . ”[1704-he] “ Yeah , [I]0-i know , but [I]0-i ca n’t right now . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head even though [he]1704-he ca n’t see [me]0-i . [I]1704-he just fucking ca n’t . ”[1704-he] And before [he]1704-he can respond , [I]0-i hang up on [him]1704-he and toss [my]0-i phone to the other end of the couch . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mutter , sinking into the fabric . This itchy , uncontrollable , debilitating feeling starts to consume [me]0-i . Like [I]0-i ’m caught in a tornado of weary emotion and no matter what [I]0-i do , [I]0-i ca n’t get out of it . It just keeps swirling around [me]0-i . [I]0-i have no control . [I]0-i feel like everything is slipping through [my]0-i grasp . [My]0-i sanity . [My]0-i job . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . [I]0-i ’m not even sure what [I]0-i ’d do if [she]89-kelsey looked [my]0-i way and saw [me]0-i as more than just [JP]87-jp , how [I]0-i ’d handle the things [she]89-kelsey needs in [her]89-kelsey life but , fuck , [I]0-i want to try . Because when [she]89-kelsey called [me]0-i [Jonah]201-jonah last night , nothing had ever sounded more right . For a moment , [I]0-i was n’t just [JP]87-jp , [one of [the Cane brothers]3391-the cane brothers]1705-one of the cane brothers . [I]0-i was [Jonah]201-jonah . [A man who likes [a woman]3073-a woman]1707-a man who likes a woman . [A man who ’s ready for change]1709-a man who ’s ready for change . Ready to start [my]0-i own life . . . whatever that actually means .

Chapter Fifteen

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

Oh [my]0-i God . [He]201-jonah ’s so cute . [Derek]166-derek , that is . [I]0-i mean . . . really cute . Thick hair , just short of fluffy , but that ’s okay . And [his]201-jonah style is kind of preppy , but in a cute way , not in a wears - a - cardigan - over - [his]201-jonah - shoulders way . [His]201-jonah smile is adorable , [his]201-jonah eyes are beautiful , and [he]201-jonah has a lovely , deep voice . [Lottie]89-kelsey was right . . . [this guy]2740-this guy is [a catch]1711-a catch . [I]166-derek do n’t think [I]166-derek ’ve ever eaten as much as [I]166-derek have tonight , ”[166-derek] [Derek]166-derek says , patting [his]166-derek stomach . [I]0-i hope [I]0-i did n’t gross [you]0-i out or anything with the way [I]0-i took down that crab . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Not at all . It was impressive . ”[0-i] Mind [you]1712-you , [I]0-i ate the same thing the other night with [JP]87-jp and still had room for dessert . “ Not sure if [I]87-jp should be proud that [I]87-jp impressed [you]1712-you with [my]87-jp eating habits . ”[87-jp] “ Maybe a little . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wink . [He]166-derek glances at [his]166-derek watch and winces . [I]166-derek hate to be [that guy]378-that guy , but [I]166-derek have an early morning meeting tomorrow and [I]166-derek think it ’s going to take [me]166-derek a long time to walk back to [[my]166-derek hotel]3777-my hotel . ”[166-derek] [You]166-derek ’re going to walk ? [I]87-jp hope it ’s close . ”[87-jp] “ A few blocks . . . uphill . And trust [me]0-i when [I]0-i say , [I]0-i SHOULD walk back . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Burning some late - night calories ? ”[0-i] [I]166-derek have to . ”[166-derek] Since [he]166-derek already paid for the meal , [he]166-derek stands from [his]166-derek chair , and [I]0-i do the same . Once [my]0-i things are gathered , [I]0-i walk toward the exit . [He]166-derek places [his]166-derek hand on the small of [my]0-i back and guides [me]0-i down the stairs and out the front door . Chills run up [my]0-i spine . This was a nice date . There was no arguing . There was a constant flow of easy conversation . And even though [he]166-derek ’s a bit awkward in some ways , [he]166-derek ’s great in others . [I]0-i ’m glad [I]0-i came out tonight , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [we]1713-we reach [the pier]1389-the pier . [I]0-i wait for [him]166-derek to take [my]0-i hand , but when [he]166-derek does n’t , [I]0-i settle with holding the strap of [my]0-i purse . [I]0-i ’m glad [you]166-derek did , too . [Ellie]167-ellie was telling [me]0-i over and over that [I]0-i needed to take [you]166-derek out for a meal . [I]0-i can see why . [You]166-derek ’re great company , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Thank [you]166-derek . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smile up at [him]166-derek . “ How much longer are [you]166-derek in [San Francisco]21-san francisco ? ”[0-i] “ A week . What about [you]166-derek ? ”[0-i] “ Same , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ At least , that ’s what ’s on the schedule . Who knows , things could change . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , does n’t it always seem like the schedule is changing ? [I]0-i was only supposed to be [here]2716-here for a few days , but the time keeps getting extended . This was the first night [I]0-i ’ve had that did n’t involve business . It was a nice reprieve . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m glad [I]0-i could help with that . ”[0-i] [You]0-i did . ”[0-i] [He]166-derek sticks [his]166-derek hands in [his]166-derek pockets . “ Can [I]166-derek ask [you]166-derek something ? ”[166-derek] “ Of course , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say with a bright smile , because [I]0-i have a feeling [I]0-i know what [he]166-derek ’s going to ask . [He]166-derek ’s a bit shy , so [his]166-derek approach does n’t surprise [me]0-i . [My]0-i answer will be a yes when [he]166-derek asks for another date . [I]0-i ’ve truly enjoyed [myself]0-i tonight . [We]1715-we had some laughs , and even though there were some stutters in [our]1715-we conversation , overall , it was a great night . So , yes , [I]0-i ’ll say yes to a second date . [I]166-derek was curious . ”[166-derek] [He]166-derek bashfully looks away . “ Would [you]0-i be comfortable with telling [me]166-derek how [you]0-i like working with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises ? ”[166-derek] “ That would be great , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer before [I]0-i can process [his]166-derek question . Wait . . . What ? Confused , [he]166-derek looks at [me]0-i with a pinched brow , and that ’s when [I]0-i actually register what [he]166-derek asked . [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises . Working with [them]1716-they . Oh . “ Errr , that would be a great question to ask , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , trying to cover up . Not very smooth . “ And the answer would be yes . [I]166-derek enjoy working with [them]1716-they a lot . ”[166-derek] [He]166-derek nods . [They]1716-they seem sort of ruthless . [Dave]168-dave was telling [me]166-derek all about what [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey did . It seems [they]1716-they would do just about anything to score a deal , like [they]1716-they do n’t care about [the people around [them]1716-they]1653-the people around them . ”[166-derek] “ No , that ’s not the case at all , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [They]1716-they care deeply about [[their]1716-they employees]3780-their employees and the work [they]1716-they do . That entire situation stemmed from a momentary lapse of judgment on [Huxley]90-huxley ’s end . [He]166-derek felt awful and swore [he]166-derek ’d never do something like that again . ”[0-i] [Derek]166-derek nods . “ That ’s really good to hear . [I]166-derek know [Dave]168-dave can be sort of blind at times when working with [other people]320-other people . [He]168-dave has a heart of gold , and [I]166-derek just wanted to check . [I]166-derek hope [I]166-derek did n’t ruin the date by asking . ”[166-derek] “ Not at all . [I]1717-he actually like that [you]166-derek asked . It shows [me]1717-he that [you]166-derek care about [[your]166-derek brother]2724-your brother . ”[1717-he] [I]0-i do . [He]168-dave can be a knucklehead , kind of weird at times , but [he]168-dave ’s [a good man]3783-a good man and [he]168-dave ’s built a solid business . [I]0-i just want to make sure [no one]2811-no one is taking advantage of [him]168-dave . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smooth [my]0-i hand over [his]1717-he arm . “ That ’s really kind of [you]166-derek . ”[0-i] [He]1717-he smiles down at [me]0-i and sticks [his]1717-he hand in [his]1717-he pocket again just as [we]1718-we make it to a row of [cabs]1719-cabs . [I]1717-he had a great time , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[1717-he] [I]1717-he had a nice time too , [Derek]166-derek . [I]1717-he truly did . ”[1717-he] Such a good time that [I]0-i hope [he]1717-he leans in and kisses [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’d totally kiss [him]1717-he back . [I]0-i think there could be something there between [us]1718-we . But a kiss would tell [me]0-i if [we]1718-we have the chemistry [I]0-i think [we]1718-we have . [I]0-i wet [my]0-i lips as [he]1717-he reaches for [a cab]1720-a cab door . Kissing outside [a cab]1720-a cab , how romantic . [I]0-i step in closer to [him]1717-he . And wait . Wait for that kiss . For [him]1717-he to bend over , pucker up , and lay it on [me]0-i . But just as [I]0-i expect [him]1717-he to plant one on [me]0-i , [he]1717-he takes a step away from [me]0-i and offers [me]0-i [his]1717-he hand . [His]1717-he . . . hand . Confused , [I]0-i take it , and [he]1717-he gives [me]0-i a solid shake . “ Great meeting [you]0-i , ”[1717-he] [he]1717-he says , before letting go and taking another step backwards . Errr . . . what ’s happening ? Where ’s the kiss ? Or the hug ? Or the offer to call [me]0-i so [we]1722-we can do this again sometime ? [I]0-i wait for a few heartbeats , but when nothing happens , [I]0-i realize this is it . A handshake . That ’s what [I]0-i ’m getting tonight . A freaking handshake and a nice to meet [you]1723-you . What on earth is happening ? This is the end of a business meeting , not a date . Did [I]0-i miss something ? Did [I]0-i do something wrong ? Does [he]1717-he not like [me]0-i ? Self - doubt fills [me]0-i , causing an ugly set of emotions . [You]1723-you ’re not enough . [You]1723-you ’re not pretty enough . [JP]87-jp has said [I]0-i ’m hot twice , but that was clearly just to get in [my]0-i pants . [Derek]166-derek is backing away after a freaking handshake . If this was [Lottie]89-kelsey , [Derek]166-derek would be figuring out a way to stay longer . [My]0-i throat grows tight , and before [I]0-i can make a total ass of [myself]0-i in front of [him]166-derek , [I]0-i decide to bid [him]166-derek a goodbye and get into [the car]887-the car , where [I]0-i can lick [my]0-i wounds in private . “ Okay . Bye . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wave at [him]166-derek . “ Bye , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [He]166-derek shuts the door with finality and then walks away . Well . . . [I]0-i tell [[my]0-i driver]1634-my driver the name of [the hotel [I]0-i ’m staying at]1726-the hotel i ’m staying at , then lean back in [my]0-i seat and stare out the window . Did [I]0-i miss something ? [I]0-i thought [we]1727-we were having a good evening . [I]0-i thought [we]1727-we were making a connection . [We]1727-we bonded over [Power Rangers]219-power rangers , for heaven ’s sake , not something [I]0-i ’d want to bond over , but [we]1727-we had a conversation about [them]219-power rangers that made [us]1727-we laugh and reminisce about growing up . [He]166-derek talked about [[his]166-derek family]3528-his family . [I]0-i talked about [mine]0-i . [He]166-derek touched [my]0-i hand several times throughout dinner , and [I]0-i know for a fact that when [I]0-i went to [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom , [he]166-derek watched [me]0-i walk away . [The girl who followed [me]0-i into [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom shortly after]1730-the girl who followed me into the bathroom shortly after told [me]0-i [the guy [I]0-i was with]1732-the guy i was with had it bad for [me]0-i , with the way [he]166-derek tracked [me]0-i all the way to [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom . So , [I]0-i do n’t know . . . call [me]0-i crazy , but [I]0-i guess [I]0-i read it all wrong . [I]0-i guess there was something [I]0-i did wrong that [he]166-derek did n’t like . Or maybe . . . maybe [I]0-i just did n’t impress [him]166-derek the way that [I]0-i thought [I]0-i did . Just like [every other man who has taken [me]0-i out]1734-every other man who has taken me out . . . [I]0-i did n’t make that lasting impression . [I]0-i ’m not memorable . Addicting . [I]0-i ’m [not someone [a man]2703-a man wants another night with]1735-not someone a man wants another night with . [I]0-i consider texting [Lottie]89-kelsey , but [I]0-i do n’t have the energy to hash out everything , so instead , [I]0-i stare out the window until [I]0-i reach [the hotel]1462-the hotel . [I]0-i ’ve no idea where [JP]87-jp is right now , probably still at the ball , doing some sort of schmoozing that [he]87-jp ’s probably hating . Or probably on [his]87-jp way back to [[a woman]3073-a woman ’s apartment]1739-a woman ’s apartment because [she]3073-a woman was too gorgeous to walk away from . [She]3073-a woman will enjoy more than a handshake . And given [our]1740-our strange blowup this morning , why would [he]87-jp want to come back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse tonight ? But that ’s probably a good thing . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i could see [anyone]377-anyone right now . [I]0-i ’ve never felt so unwanted in [my]0-i life . First [Edwin]142-edwin , now [Derek]166-derek . Is there something [I]0-i ’m doing that turns [men]2682-men off ? There has to be . [You]1744-you ’re too desperate . Thank [you]87-jp , [JP]87-jp . That will stick . [Spirit broken]220-spirit broken , [the elevator]1032-the elevator doors part and [I]0-i walk down [the hotel hallway]1746-the hotel hallway until [I]0-i reach [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . When [I]0-i open the door , [I]0-i ’m met with [a dark room]1748-a dark room , just as [I]0-i expected . [He]87-jp ’s not [here]2716-here . [I]0-i drop [my]0-i purse on the table in the entryway and kick off [my]0-i heels . [I]0-i pick them up from the floor and head to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room . “ Enjoy [your]0-i evening ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp ’s deep voice scares [me]0-i so much , [I]0-i squeal and bring [my]0-i hand to [my]0-i heart . [I]0-i look to where [his]87-jp voice came from and spot [him]87-jp sitting in the chair in the dark corner , a beer in hand . [You]0-i scared [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i catch [my]0-i breath . “ Why are [you]0-i sitting in the dark ? ”[87-jp] “ Did n’t feel like turning on the lights , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp answers without moving . “ Well , it ’s weird . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i reach over to an accent lamp on one of the side tables and switch it on . It illuminates [the room]345-the room so [I]0-i can fully see [JP]87-jp . [He]87-jp ’s wearing only shorts again and [his]87-jp hair is a complete tumble of strands , pulled in all different directions . [He]87-jp lifts the beer to [his]87-jp lips and , before taking a sip , [he]87-jp asks , “ How was [lover boy]3785-lover boy ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp ’s not [[my]87-jp lover boy]3786-my lover boy . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp made that evident enough by offering [me]0-i a sturdy handshake . “ Date not go well , then ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , clearly in the mood to pick another fight . [I]0-i ’m not falling for it . “ It was great . Thanks . Now , if [you]0-i ’ll excuse [me]87-jp , [I]87-jp ’m going to bed . ”[87-jp] “ Did [he]87-jp kiss [you]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] “ That ’s none of [your]87-jp business , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , as [I]0-i turn back toward [him]87-jp . [He]87-jp stands from [his]87-jp chair and [his]87-jp face slowly comes into the light with every step forward [he]87-jp takes . Now only a few feet from [me]0-i , [he]87-jp sets [his]87-jp beer on the end table and stares at [me]0-i , examining every inch of [my]0-i face . [He]87-jp did n’t , did [he]87-jp ? [He]87-jp did n’t kiss [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’m not sure if [he]87-jp can see through the brave façade [I]0-i ’m trying to wear , or if [he]87-jp actually sees that these lips of [mine]0-i are untouched , but [he]87-jp steps even closer and lifts [his]87-jp hand to [my]0-i face , [his]87-jp thumb pulling on [my]0-i bottom lip . [He]87-jp did n’t kiss this mouth , did [he]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i take a step back , still clutching [my]0-i heels . “ Like [I]0-i said , that ’s none of [your]87-jp business , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] Before [he]87-jp can say another thing , [I]0-i turn away from [him]87-jp and head to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room . [I]0-i need to get out of this dress and into something comfortable so [I]0-i can go to bed and forget this entire night . When [I]0-i reach [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , [I]0-i set down [my]0-i heels and twist [my]0-i arm behind [me]0-i to undo [my]0-i zipper . But , for some reason , even though [I]0-i was the one who got [myself]0-i into this dress , [I]0-i ca n’t seem to reach it . Shit . But then [I]0-i feel a strong hand touch [my]0-i shoulder . [I]0-i nearly jump out of [my]0-i skin as [he]87-jp crowds [my]0-i back and whispers , “ Allow [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp voice feels like ripples of heat caressing [my]0-i skin . [I]0-i do n’t dare move . [I]0-i do n’t dare say a thing because , [I]0-i ’m ashamed to say , [I]0-i ’m desperate . Desperate for [a man]2703-a man to touch [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m desperate to know that [I]0-i ’m someone who can be treasured the way [Huxley]90-huxley treasures [Lottie]89-kelsey , and how [Jeff]124-jeff loves [Mom]101-mom . But [I]0-i think that ’s why it ’s been so confusing being around [JP]87-jp . [He]87-jp ’s sexy as hell , and in the moments [we]1755-we get along , the moments [I]0-i feel such a deep connection — as if [I]0-i ’m seeing [the real JP]87-jp[I’m]0-i so tempted to want more . But knowing [he]87-jp does n’t want [me]0-i for anything more than a sexy night has probably tipped [me]0-i closer to this edge called desperation . [I]0-i ’m just [a hopeless romantic looking for someone to love [her]1757-her]1756-a hopeless romantic looking for someone to love her . The zipper of [my]0-i dress is gently pulled down until [I]0-i feel the sides of [my]0-i dress open . The grip [he]87-jp has on [my]0-i shoulder tightens . “ What ’s this ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp finger tracing over [my]0-i lingerie . “ Did [you]0-i wear this for [him]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [My]0-i strapless , one - piece black bustier . [I]0-i did n’t , actually . It ’s something [I]0-i like to wear every day . Lingerie is the one thing that [I]0-i splurge on , because it makes [me]0-i feel special . It makes [me]0-i feel good under [my]0-i clothes . It makes [me]0-i feel sexy , even though [my]0-i sex life is at an all - time low for the moment . [I]0-i spin around and hold [my]0-i dress up with one hand across [my]0-i chest . [I]0-i did , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , lying . [I]0-i feel like provoking [him]87-jp . [Misery]221-misery loves [company]1758-company . It ’s a shitty thing to do , but [I]0-i ’m not exactly thinking clearly right now . “ And [he]87-jp did n’t kiss [you]0-i . . . that seems fucking stupid . ”[0-i] [I]0-i never said [he]87-jp did n’t kiss [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shoot back . [You]0-i just assumed . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp steps even closer , [his]87-jp hand now curling possessively around the nape of [my]0-i neck . [I]0-i have no idea what ’s happening , what ’s possessing [him]87-jp to do this , or possessing [me]0-i to let it happen , but [I]0-i stand tall — as tall as [I]0-i can — and hold [my]0-i chin up high , challenging [him]87-jp . [I]0-i ’m not assuming , [I]0-i know . ”[0-i] “ Were [you]0-i watching [us]3787-us ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . [I]87-jp know [you]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . If [that man]961-that man kissed [you]0-i , [you]0-i ’d have come barreling into [this penthouse]3468-this penthouse , happy . But that ’s not the case , is it ? There ’s a droop in [your]0-i shoulders , no joy in [your]0-i smile . The date did n’t go the way [you]0-i wanted it . And now , [you]0-i ’re back at [ground zero]3790-ground zero , attempting to find [someone else]2834-someone else to take [you]0-i out . ”[87-jp] Insult laces [his]87-jp every syllable , and it ’s like a repeated strike against [my]0-i heart . “ The date was amazing , actually , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ And no , [he]961-that man did n’t kiss [me]0-i , but [he]961-that man was also being [a gentleman]3530-a gentleman , something [I]0-i ’m sure [you]0-i know nothing about . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp propels [me]0-i backward , and [I]0-i ’m so shocked that [I]0-i brace [my]0-i hands on [his]87-jp chest for balance , letting [my]0-i dress slip to the ground , leaving [me]0-i in nothing but [my]0-i lingerie . “ What did [I]0-i tell [you]0-i about being [a gentleman]3530-a gentleman ? [I]0-i know how to hold a goddamn door open for [a woman]3073-a woman . [I]0-i know how to make sure [she]3073-a woman ’s well taken care of on a date with engaging conversation . Being [a gentleman]3530-a gentleman does n’t mean [you]0-i do n’t take what [you]0-i both want . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]87-jp saying [you]87-jp ’d have kissed [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp would ’ve done more than kiss [you]0-i , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , [his]87-jp voice so dark that [I]0-i wonder if something happened to [him]87-jp tonight , but [I]0-i ’m so lost in [my]0-i own world that [I]0-i do n’t have time to think about why [he]87-jp ’s acting like this , what has caused this . . . aggression . [I]87-jp would n’t have left [you]0-i alone in [a penthouse]1000-a penthouse with [another man]1640-another man , that ’s for damn sure . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp continues to walk [me]0-i backwards until [my]0-i legs hit the edge of the bed . [I]87-jp know [your]0-i MO , [JP]87-jp , [your]0-i end goal . ”[87-jp] “ Is that so ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , [his]87-jp hand on [my]0-i nape slowly dragging forward until [his]87-jp thumb is propped right under [my]0-i chin , holding [me]0-i in place . “ And what exactly is [my]87-jp end goal , [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? ”[87-jp] “ Pleasure , ”[87-jp] [I]0-i answer . [You]0-i would say that , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . [He]87-jp pushes [me]0-i down on the bed and corrals [me]0-i with a hand on either side of [my]0-i shoulders . [My]0-i breath gets stuck in [my]0-i throat as [he]87-jp lowers [his]87-jp face mere inches from [mine]0-i . “ It ’s not always about pleasure , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . It ’s about the temptation . ”[87-jp] “ Are [you]87-jp trying to say [I]87-jp ’m tempting ? ”[87-jp] “ Do [you]87-jp want [me]0-i to find [you]87-jp tempting ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i wet [my]0-i lips . [My]0-i heart hammers so loudly in [my]0-i chest that [I]0-i can barely hear [myself]0-i think . [I]0-i just want [someone]364-someone to want to date [me]0-i , maybe fall in love with [me]0-i one day . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swallow . “ And [I]0-i think [Derek]166-derek could be [that guy]378-that guy . ”[0-i] [His]1759-his brows narrow , tugging together at the center of [his]1759-his forehead . “ Bullshit . Stop fucking lying to [me]1759-his and tell [me]1759-his the truth . [Your]0-i date was barely enjoyable and [the fucking douche]3800-the fucking douche did n’t seize the opportunity to kiss [you]0-i , leaving [you]0-i unsatisfied . ”[1759-his] [I]1759-his was left completely satisfied . ”[1759-his] “ Is that so ? ”[1759-his] [he]1759-his asks , then lowers [his]1759-his head so [his]1759-his nose runs along [my]0-i collarbone . A wave of goosebumps springs up on [my]0-i skin as [his]1759-his breath caresses [my]0-i chest . “ So , [you]1759-his ’re telling [me]1759-his [you]1759-his would n’t want more ? ”[1759-his] God , [I]0-i want so much more . [I]0-i want to feel something . [I]0-i want to know what it ’s like to be kissed again . To have [a man]2703-a man control [me]0-i with [his]1759-his hands , with [his]1759-his mouth , with [his]1759-his words . [I]0-i want so much more than the date [I]0-i had with [Derek]166-derek . [I]0-i wanted [him]166-derek to want more of [me]0-i . To tell [me]0-i [he]166-derek wants to call [me]0-i in the morning , ask [me]0-i out again . [I]0-i want more than a freaking handshake at the end of the night . But [I]0-i ca n’t tell [JP]87-jp that . [I]0-i ca n’t admit to [him]87-jp what [a failure the end of the night]1761-a failure the end of the night was , so [I]0-i keep [my]0-i mouth shut . [His]87-jp nose rides up the column of [my]0-i neck until [he]87-jp reaches [my]0-i ear , where [he]87-jp asks , “ Do [you]0-i want to know what [I]87-jp would ’ve done if [I]87-jp took [you]0-i out on a date ? ”[87-jp] Yes . Desperately . “ No , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ Because [you]87-jp did n’t take [me]0-i out , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ If [I]87-jp took [you]0-i out , [you]0-i would n’t be [home]2941-home this early . [I]87-jp ’d find every opportunity [I]87-jp could to keep [you]0-i out . [I]87-jp ’d extend [our]3802-we night as long as [I]87-jp could until [we]3802-we had no choice but to say goodbye . And when [we]3802-we did”—he[87-jp] nibbles [my]0-i ear , causing a tidal wave of lust to strike me—“when [I]0-i said good night to [you]0-i , it would be by leaning [you]0-i against [[my]0-i car]595-my car , stroking [your]0-i cheek , and then holding [you]0-i in place as [I]0-i finally kissed [you]0-i , the way [I]0-i ’d wanted to kiss [you]0-i all goddamn night . ”[0-i] “ And . . . and how would [you]0-i kiss [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Slowly , at first”—his[0-i] hand slides to [my]0-i jaw , just above [my]0-i throat—“so [you]0-i get a taste of [me]0-i , and when [I]0-i felt that [you]0-i were comfortable , content , [I]0-i ’d part [your]0-i lips and demand more . [I]0-i ’d press [my]0-i body against [yours]0-i , slip [my]0-i hand into [your]0-i hair , just at the base of [your]0-i skull , and then tangle [our]3804-our tongues , pulling more and more from [you]0-i until [you]0-i ’re absolutely breathless . ”[0-i] [His]0-i nose runs along [my]0-i cheek . “ Just like [you]0-i are now . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m not breathless . Do n’t flatter [yourself]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [His]0-i grip on [my]0-i jaw grows tighter as [he]0-i asks , “ When are [you]0-i going to learn not to lie to [me]0-i ? If [I]0-i slipped [my]0-i hand down [your]0-i body and between [your]0-i legs , [I]0-i know [you]0-i ’d be wet . ”[0-i] [I]0-i am . [I]0-i am wet , throbbing , and so full of need that [I]0-i can barely process [his]0-i words . “ Not [every woman]3466-every woman is won over by what [you]0-i call charm . ”[0-i] [He]0-i releases [my]0-i jaw and sits up from [his]0-i position , now standing in front of [me]0-i looking down . [His]0-i eyes scan [my]0-i body , wrapped in black lace . That ’s when [I]0-i take a second to let [my]0-i eyes wander [his]0-i body . Broad , straight shoulders ; boulders in [his]0-i biceps , so thick and veiny , leading all the way down to [his]0-i impeccable , inked forearms ; and fingers that seem to curl toward [his]0-i palm when anger sears through [him]0-i . [His]0-i chest is thick , strong , cut , leading down to [his]0-i abs , which are stacked one right on top of the other . [His]0-i belly button is the start of the metaphorical arrow that points down to the bulge in [his]0-i shorts , the very prominent bulge . [He]0-i ’s turned on , just like [me]0-i . And instead of listening to [his]0-i voice , letting [him]0-i dirty talk [his]0-i way over [my]0-i body , [I]0-i ’m provoking [him]0-i , pushing [him]0-i away , making [him]0-i impossibly angrier . Eyes on [mine]0-i , [he]0-i says , “ Touch [yourself]0-i . Show [me]0-i [you]0-i ’re not wet . ”[0-i] “ Why ? ”[0-i] “ Because [I]0-i do n’t believe [you]0-i . Show [me]0-i [you]0-i are n’t won over by [my]0-i charm . ”[0-i] [My]0-i teeth run over [my]0-i lip , [my]0-i heart wildly beating . [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m wet . [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m turned on . And [I]0-i know it ’s from [him]0-i . [I]0-i move [my]0-i hand down [my]0-i body to between [my]0-i legs . [I]0-i slip [my]0-i fingers past the lace and against [my]0-i clit . [My]0-i eyes instantly shut from the pressure , and [I]0-i hate [myself]0-i for giving up how [I]0-i feel , for showing [him]0-i that [I]0-i ’m exactly where [he]0-i wants [me]0-i to be . [My]0-i eyes fly open as [he]0-i seizes [my]0-i wrist , and [I]0-i find [him]0-i bent forward , one hand propped on the bed , the other bringing [my]0-i fingers toward [his]0-i mouth . [He]0-i parts [his]0-i lips , drags [my]0-i fingers over [his]0-i tongue , and then releases them . Fuck , [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever seen anything so sexy in [my]0-i life . [Fucking liar]3806-fucking liar , ”[0-i] [he]0-i says , tucking [my]0-i hand back under the lace between [my]0-i legs . When [I]0-i try to remove [my]0-i hand , [he]0-i keeps [me]0-i there , pressing [his]0-i hand against [mine]0-i . “ Why are [you]0-i lying to [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t answer [him]0-i , so [he]0-i says , [I]0-i would n’t lie to [you]0-i . [I]0-i ’m not concealing how [I]0-i feel . ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance down at [his]0-i bulge again , the fabric of [his]0-i shorts outlining [his]0-i cock . [You]0-i are by wearing those shorts , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i do n’t know why [I]0-i say it , maybe because [I]0-i ’m so far gone at this point , but [I]0-i ’m desperate for something , anything . With [his]0-i eyes still on [mine]0-i , [he]0-i reaches to [his]0-i waistband , pulls [his]0-i cock out , and strokes [his]0-i length right in front of [me]0-i . Girthy . Long . Promising . “ Is this what [you]0-i wanted ? ”[0-i] [he]0-i asks . [You]0-i wanted this cock ? ”[0-i] Yes . [I]0-i also want [your]0-i lips . [Your]0-i hands . [Your]0-i body . “ Tell [me]0-i why [you]0-i ’re hard . ”[0-i] [I]0-i attempt to remove [my]0-i hand from under [my]0-i bustier again , but [he]0-i stops [me]0-i once again . “ Touch [yourself]0-i , ”[0-i] [he]0-i demands . [I]0-i know [you]0-i want to . [I]0-i know [you]0-i need to . Touch [yourself]0-i , and [I]0-i ’ll tell [you]0-i why [I]0-i ’m hard . ”[0-i] [I]0-i seal [my]0-i lips together and slip [my]0-i fingers along [my]0-i slit until they press against [my]0-i clit . With two fingers , [I]0-i gently massage it while [my]0-i legs spread on the mattress . [His]0-i eyes fall to where [I]0-i ’m pleasuring [myself]0-i and then back up . [He]0-i wets [his]0-i lips and lowers one hand to the mattress , bringing [him]0-i closer while [he]0-i continues to stroke [himself]0-i . “ That ’s it , keep touching [yourself]0-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Tell [me]0-i how wet [you]0-i are . ”[0-i] “ Tell [me]0-i why [you]0-i ’re hard , first , ”[0-i] [I]0-i counter . [I]0-i ’m hard because of the way [you]0-i walk through [this penthouse]3468-this penthouse , acting as if [you]0-i do n’t have any interest in [me]0-i , but [your]0-i eyes tell [me]0-i differently . [I]0-i ’m hard because [you]0-i have no fucking clue just how alluring [you]0-i are , how fucking sexy [you]0-i are . [I]0-i ’m hard because the taste of [your]0-i pussy is lingering on [my]0-i tongue , and if [I]0-i truly had [my]0-i way , [you]0-i ’d be stripped naked , tied to this bed , waiting for [me]0-i to pleasure [you]0-i . ”[0-i] “ If [you]1762-his had [your]1762-his way ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , a hitch in [my]0-i voice . “ What does that mean ? ”[0-i] [His]1762-his thumb reaches up and traces [my]0-i face , down [my]0-i neck , and across [my]0-i arm . [You]0-i are n’t mine . ”[1762-his] [He]1762-his lets go of [his]1762-his cock and moves [me]0-i on the bed , making room so [he]1762-his can kneel in front of [me]0-i . Then [he]1762-his removes [my]0-i hand from where [I]0-i ’m pleasuring [myself]0-i and brings [his]1762-his cock to [my]0-i slit , running it against the fabric . The sensation is absolute torture , feeling [him]1762-his this close , just a miniscule fabric blocking [our]1763-us connection . “ If [you]0-i were [mine]1762-his , there would be nothing between [us]1763-us . ”[1762-his] That light pressure , the barely - there feeling of [his]1762-his cock mixed with the erotic nature of what [he]1762-his ’s doing , sends an intense yearning through [me]0-i . A need so strong that [my]0-i mind starts to black out . The only thing it ’s focused on is relief . Relief from the buildup . Relief from this night . Relief from the tension between [us]1763-us . [He]1762-his lifts [his]1762-his cock and taps the head right on [my]0-i clit . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper as [I]0-i drape [my]0-i arm over [my]0-i eyes and breathe heavily . [You]1762-his like that , do n’t [you]1762-his ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i teeth roll over [my]0-i bottom lip . “ Tell [me]0-i [you]1762-his like it and [I]0-i ’ll do it again . ”[0-i] God , [I]0-i hate [him]1762-his . . . why is [he]1762-his making [me]0-i admit things [I]0-i do n’t want to admit ? “ Say it , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[1762-his] [I]0-i . . . [I]0-i like it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i stammer , and [he]1762-his taps [his]1762-his dick on [my]0-i clit a few more times . [My]0-i pelvis rises , [my]0-i skin breaks out in a sweat , and [my]0-i control starts to slip . And then to [my]0-i surprise , [he]1762-his pulls the fabric covering [my]0-i pussy to the side , exposing [me]0-i , and lets the head of [his]1762-his cock lightly rub against [me]0-i . “ Oh God , ”[0-i] [I]0-i moan as [my]0-i legs spread even farther . “ Oh yes . . . [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Fuck , [you]0-i ’re so wet . ”[1762-his] “ More , ”[0-i] [I]0-i beg . [I]0-i want more . [He]1762-his glides [his]1762-his cock over [my]0-i clit two more times and then with a groan , [he]1762-his pulls away and resumes pumping [his]1762-his length vigorously above [me]0-i . “ If [you]0-i want more , [you]0-i need to fuck [yourself]0-i , ”[1762-his] [he]1762-his says , [his]1762-his voice strained . [My]0-i eyes follow [his]1762-his gestures , the slide of [his]1762-his hand over [his]1762-his thick erection , the veins running down [his]1762-his length , the tension in [his]1762-his chest as [he]1762-his breathes heavily , staring down at [me]0-i . It ’s so freaking hot , so sexy , that [my]0-i fingers find [my]0-i clit again and start massaging in fast circles . The first inkling of [my]0-i orgasm starts to wrap around [my]0-i muscles , through [my]0-i back , along [my]0-i ribs , into [my]0-i stomach . “ Fuck . . . [you]0-i ’re there , are n’t [you]0-i ? ”[1762-his] [he]1762-his asks . [You]0-i ’re almost there . ”[1762-his] [I]0-i nod , keeping [my]0-i teeth clenched as [my]0-i chest heaves , [my]0-i fingers moving faster . [My]0-i eyes stay focused on [his]1762-his hand that ’s pulling , tugging on [his]1762-his length , the thick veins in [his]1762-his tattooed forearms straining just like the rest of [his]1762-his body . “ God , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mutter as [my]0-i body starts to seize on [me]0-i . The overwhelming sensation of pleasure is at its early stages , pulsing through [my]0-i veins and zeroing in on the spot between [my]0-i legs . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper , [my]0-i eyes shutting as [I]0-i let [myself]0-i fall into the hands of [my]0-i orgasm . “ Look at [me]87-jp , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , [his]87-jp voice so commanding that it makes [me]0-i snap [my]0-i eyes open . “ Look at [me]87-jp when [you]0-i come . ”[87-jp] The tone of [his]87-jp voice . The meaning behind it . . . It ’s like a bolt of lust zapping right through [me]0-i . [My]0-i muscles stiffen , [my]0-i legs shiver , and [my]0-i fingers fly over [my]0-i clit as [I]0-i moan louder than [I]0-i can ever remember vocalizing before , and [I]0-i come , a ferocious orgasm breaking [me]0-i into a million pieces right there on [my]0-i bed . [My]0-i eyes still on [JP]87-jp , [I]0-i ready [myself]0-i to see [him]87-jp come , but to [my]0-i utter disbelief , [he]87-jp puts [his]87-jp surging cock back in [his]87-jp shorts and then leans down so close that [our]1764-our noses are nearly touching . [You]0-i . . . [you]87-jp did n’t come , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , breathless . “ Because that ’s not for [you]87-jp to see , so [I]0-i ’ll do that in private . If [you]87-jp want to watch [me]0-i come , if [you]87-jp want to see [my]0-i body shake uncontrollably when [I]0-i think of [your]87-jp sweet fingers gliding over [your]87-jp cunt , then [you]87-jp ’re going to have to give [me]0-i a lot more than [you]87-jp gave [me]0-i tonight . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp moves down [my]0-i body until [his]87-jp head is right between [my]0-i legs . [My]0-i breath is so heavy that [I]0-i can barely register what ’s happening until [his]87-jp tongue is gliding over [my]0-i pussy , one smooth swipe before [he]87-jp lifts up , standing straight . Satisfaction on [his]87-jp face , [he]87-jp says , “ Next time , [you]0-i ’ll be coming on [my]87-jp tongue . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp turns and heads for [my]0-i door , slipping out before [I]0-i can say anything . Breathless , [I]0-i stare at the door , entirely too turned on — still — wondering what on earth just happened and how [we]1765-we took it this far .

Chapter Sixteen

JP

[I]0-i had one beer last night , but it feels as though [I]0-i had twenty . [My]0-i mouth feels dry , [my]0-i body is aching , and there ’s an unsatisfied feeling flooding [me]0-i . And there ’s only one reason for this feeling . [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Fucking [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [I]0-i swing [my]0-i legs over the edge of [my]0-i bed and rub [my]0-i palm against [my]0-i eye as [I]0-i attempt to wake [my]0-i body . Fuck . Once again , [I]0-i lost control . Returning to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , not seeing [her]89-kelsey there , and having to count down every second until [she]89-kelsey came back , turned [me]0-i into [a dangerous , jealous man]1767-a dangerous , jealous man . The moment [she]89-kelsey walked through that door , [I]0-i was ready to pick a fight . [I]0-i was ready to provoke [her]89-kelsey and no matter what [I]0-i tried to do to calm [myself]0-i , [I]0-i could n’t . That ’s how [I]0-i found [myself]0-i in [[her]89-kelsey bedroom]1425-her bedroom , pulling out [my]0-i dick , and watching [her]89-kelsey pleasure [herself]89-kelsey . Even this morning , [I]0-i can still see the look on [her]89-kelsey face when [she]89-kelsey orgasmed . [I]0-i can hear [her]89-kelsey delicious moans . [I]0-i can taste [her]89-kelsey . All three causes for this non - alcoholic hangover [I]0-i ’m experiencing . From [my]0-i nightstand , [I]0-i check the alarm clock for the time . Shit , is it really nine already ? Thank fuck it ’s Saturday and [I]0-i do n’t have any meetings . [I]0-i just have to face [Kelsey]89-kelsey this morning with no idea what to say . Am [I]0-i embarrassed about what happened last night ? No . Am [I]0-i sure [she]89-kelsey ’s embarrassed about what happened last night ? Yes . [I]0-i do n’t think [Kelsey]89-kelsey is [the type of woman who masturbates in front of [someone]364-someone , despite the type of “ underwear ”[1769-the type of woman who masturbates in front of someone , despite the type of “ underwear ” she wears] [she]89-kelsey wears]1769-the type of woman who masturbates in front of someone , despite the type of “ underwear ” she wears . [I]0-i think [her]89-kelsey lingerie is probably the naughtiest thing about [her]89-kelsey . So , what [I]0-i should expect from [her]89-kelsey this morning is an extreme dose of awkwardness with a heavy side of regret . Two things [I]0-i ’m not very good at navigating . [I]0-i do n’t necessarily feel those emotions , at least not as heavily as [Kelsey]89-kelsey , nor would [I]0-i feel them about a sexual experience . And it makes [me]0-i want [her]89-kelsey more . How could [I]0-i possibly walk away from [her]89-kelsey knowing what [she]89-kelsey tastes like ? Knowing [she]89-kelsey wears sexy - as - fuck lingerie ? But [she]89-kelsey still does n’t believe in [me]0-i . Knowing [I]0-i ca n’t hang out in [[my]0-i room]1114-my room forever , [I]0-i slip out of bed and find a pair of shorts to put on so [I]0-i do n’t walk into [the living space]1772-the living space naked . [She]89-kelsey saw [my]0-i dick last night , but [I]0-i doubt [she]89-kelsey wants to see it this morning . Dressed , [I]0-i open [[my]0-i bedroom]940-my bedroom door and walk down [the hallway]1132-the hallway , scratching [my]0-i chest , only to stop at the edge of [the living room]2689-the living room where [I]0-i spot [Kelsey]89-kelsey sitting on the couch , rocking back and forth , an iPad in front of [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey ’s wearing a pair of sweats and a T - shirt and has a worried look on [her]89-kelsey face . When [her]89-kelsey eyes land on [mine]0-i , fear encompasses them . “ What ’s going on ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [[Your]89-kelsey brother]2724-your brother texted . [He]2724-your brother said [he]2724-your brother ’s going to FaceTime [us]3809-us in ten minutes . Is [he]2724-your brother . . . is [he]2724-your brother going to fire [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] “ Why would [he]2724-your brother fire [you]0-i ? ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey know , because of last night . . . ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey voice trails off , and when [I]0-i do n’t say anything , [she]89-kelsey adds , [You]0-i know , what [we]3809-us did in [[my]89-kelsey bedroom]940-my bedroom . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i tug on [my]0-i hair . “ Why the fuck would [he]2724-your brother know about that ? ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i did n’t tell [him]2724-your brother ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey do n’t tell [[my]89-kelsey brother]390-my brother shit . Plus , that ’s something [I]89-kelsey ’d never tell [him]2724-your brother , or [Breaker]97-breaker , for that matter . Did [you]0-i tell [[your]0-i sister]2967-your sister ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . [I]89-kelsey was too embarrassed . ”[89-kelsey] See , told [you]0-i [she]89-kelsey ’d be embarrassed . [I]0-i walk over to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , grab an apple from the bowl , and take a bite . “ So , then , there ’s nothing to worry about . Plus , [he]1777-he ’d never fire [you]0-i over something like that . ”[0-i] “ Then what does [he]1777-he want to talk to [us]3813-us about ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shrug . “ Beats [me]0-i . ”[0-i] Although that ’s not the truth , as [I]0-i ’m sure [he]1777-he has some shit to say to [me]0-i . [He]1777-he was n’t very happy with [me]0-i yesterday when [I]0-i hung up on [him]1777-he , so this impromptu need to call feels right . “ Well , [I]1777-he have a bad feeling . [I]1777-he feel like [I]1777-he ’m in trouble . ”[1777-he] [You]0-i only feel that way because [you]0-i did something [you]0-i ’d never do last night . ”[1778-i] [Her]1778-i eyes find [mine]0-i . “ How can [you]0-i just be so casual about it ? [I]1778-i ’ve been up since four this morning unable to sleep . [I]1778-i do n’t . . . [I]1778-i do n’t know what came over [me]1778-i last night . [I]1778-i never should ’ve — ”[1778-i] “ No need to hash it out , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . What happened , happened . Just let it be . ”[1777-he] “ Let it be ? It ’s not that easy for [me]1778-i , [JP]87-jp . [You]87-jp made [me]1778-i feel — ”[1778-i] [She]1778-i catches [herself]1778-i and then takes a deep breath . “ That was a wild thing for [me]1778-i to do , especially with [a co - worker who technically oversees everything [I]1778-i do]3814-a co - worker who technically oversees everything i do . Not to mention , [I]1778-i went on a date with [another man]1640-another man last night . How on earth is that okay ? ”[1778-i] With a crisp snap , [I]0-i bite off a chunk of apple and chew it thoughtfully . “ It ’s actually just fine . These standards , these rules [you]87-jp seem to be putting on [yourself]87-jp are just that — self - induced rules . [You]87-jp can live [your]87-jp life the way [you]87-jp want . Stop judging [yourself]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Stop trying to act like what happened last night was okay . ”[1778-i] “ It was okay . [We]3816-we could ’ve done more . ”[1778-i] [JP]87-jp , [I]1778-i ’m [not that kind of girl]3817-not that kind of girl , ”[1778-i] [she]1778-i snaps . [She]1778-i ’s really worked up . Even though [she]1778-i came last night with [her]1778-i eyes on [me]0-i , [she]1778-i ’s anything but okay with it . [I]1778-i . . . [I]1778-i do n’t do those kinds of things , and for some reason , [I]1778-i ca n’t seem to be [my]1778-i normal self around [you]0-i . [I]1778-i lose [my]1778-i mind and start thinking that it ’s okay to be sexually provocative . ”[1778-i] “ It is okay for [you]1778-i to be sexually provocative , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ But [I]0-i do n’t want to be . [I]0-i want so much more than sexual gratification . ”[0-i] [Her]1778-i voice wavers . [God]92-god , [I]1778-i do n’t know why [I]1778-i ’m talking to [you]0-i about this when it is n’t something [you]0-i understand . ”[1778-i] “ Because [I]1778-i ’m not [the relationship kind of guy]3818-the relationship kind of guy , right ? ”[1778-i] “ Right , ”[1778-i] [she]1778-i says , not holding back . “ Last night was probably a silly game to [you]0-i and [I]1778-i was [a pawn]3819-a pawn . ”[1778-i] [You]1778-i were n’t a pawn in [my]0-i game . ”[0-i] [My]0-i voice grows tighter with irritation . [She]1778-i folds [her]1778-i arms . “ Then what was it ? Because [I]1778-i ca n’t think of a good reason why [we]3820-we ’d do that . ”[1778-i] [I]1778-i do n’t know , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , maybe because there ’s a sexual attraction between [us]3820-we ? Is that too hard to believe ? Maybe [we]3820-we were so inflamed with need that [we]3820-we let [our]3820-we will slip last night . ”[1778-i] “ Well . . . it wo n’t be happening again , ”[1778-i] [she]1778-i says , looking away . “ Gathered that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mumble as [I]0-i walk over to the couch and take a seat next to [her]1778-i . Why ? Why ca n’t [I]0-i shift [her]1778-i thinking ? Last night was testimony to how good [we]1779-we could be together . Sexually . But [she]1778-i ’s clear on what [she]1778-i wants . [I]1778-i do n’t do those kinds of things . . . [I]1778-i ca n’t seem to be [my]1778-i normal self around [you]1778-i . [I]1778-i lose [my]1778-i mind and start thinking that it ’s okay to be sexually provocative . [I]1778-i want so much more than sexual gratification . ”[1778-i] And [I]0-i want to give [her]1778-i so much more than simple sexual gratification . Remorse strikes [me]0-i , knowing that [I]0-i put [her]1778-i on the defensive again . Get a fucking clue , [Cane]87-jp . “ What are [you]0-i doing ? ”[1778-i] [she]1778-i asks . “ Sitting in front of [[your]0-i iPad]3821-your ipad so when [Huxley]90-huxley calls , [he]3822-he can see [me]1778-i . Is that a problem ? ”[1778-i] “ No , ”[1778-i] [she]1778-i says , leaning back on the couch . [I]0-i do the same and , together , [we]1780-we sit in silence , letting the time tick by while [we]1780-we wait for [Huxley]90-huxley to call . Unsure of what to do , [I]0-i offer [her]1778-i [my]0-i apple , and to [my]0-i surprise , [she]1778-i takes it . Maybe it ’s a peace offering , [I]0-i do n’t know , but [I]0-i do n’t like how angry [she]1778-i is at [me]0-i , especially since last night , hell . . . it was probably wrong , but fuck , it felt good . Sliding [my]0-i cock along [her]1778-i slit , feeling how goddamn turned on [she]1778-i was , it was a high [I]0-i could n’t kick , and [I]0-i needed so much more . When [I]0-i got back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , [I]0-i hopped in the shower and quickly made work of [my]0-i erection , thinking of [her]1778-i surprised face when [she]1778-i orgasmed . [I]0-i was done in seconds . [I]0-i ’m sorry about last night , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say quietly . [I]0-i was in a bad place . [I]0-i ’ll be honest , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [I]0-i think [you]89-kelsey ’re really hot . [I]0-i lost control , and [I]0-i ’m sorry if [I]0-i made [you]89-kelsey feel uncomfortable . ”[0-i] The apple is halfway to [her]1778-i mouth , but [she]1778-i pauses and turns to [me]0-i . [I]0-i hang [my]0-i head to the side so [we]1782-we ’re staring into [each other]333-each other ’s eyes . “ No , [I]0-i ’m sorry . [I]0-i should n’t have spoken to [you]89-kelsey like that . [I]0-i think [I]0-i freaked out , and rather than acting like [a normal human being]3823-a normal human being , [I]0-i blamed everything on [you]89-kelsey when [I]0-i should n’t have . In the moment , when everything was happening , [I]0-i wanted it . [I]0-i wanted it so bad . ”[0-i] That brings a smile to [my]0-i face and eases the tightness in [my]0-i chest . [I]0-i tug on [my]0-i hair . “ Yeah , [I]0-i wanted it bad , too . [I]0-i think there was only one shred of self - control left that held [me]0-i back from tearing that bustier off and fucking [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [Her]1784-i teeth roll over [her]1784-i lip and [she]1784-i says , [I]1784-i would ’ve let it happen . ”[1784-i] “ Hell , ”[0-i] [I]0-i groan , dragging [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i face . “ Do n’t say that . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i chuckles . [I]1784-i was sad last night . [You]89-kelsey were right about [Derek]166-derek . [He]166-derek did n’t kiss [me]1784-i , and [I]1784-i was feeling really low . [I]1784-i clung to [you]1784-i in all the wrong ways . [I]1784-i should ’ve just talked to [you]1784-i like [I]1784-i ’m talking to [you]1784-i now . ”[1784-i] [I]0-i hold [my]0-i arm out and , to [my]0-i relief , [she]1784-i moves into [my]0-i grasp , resting [her]1784-i head on [my]0-i chest while [I]0-i hug [her]1784-i closely . [You]1784-i did n’t have a chance to talk to [me]1784-i . [I]1784-i provoked [you]1784-i right away . In all honesty , [I]1784-i was sad [you]1784-i were n’t at [the Mayor]3168-the mayor ’s Ball with [me]1784-i , and [I]1784-i took it out on [you]1784-i . [I]1784-i should n’t have . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i lifts up . [You]0-i were sad about that ? ”[1784-i] [I]0-i nod . “ Yeah , [I]0-i ’d had fun the previous two nights and , [I]0-i do n’t know , [I]0-i did n’t want to go alone . [I]0-i forgot about [your]1784-i date , though . ”[0-i] [You]0-i should ’ve said something , [I]0-i would ’ve rescheduled . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wish [you]1784-i had n’t gone on the date at all . “ Nah , [you]0-i were excited about it . [I]1784-i should ’ve acted more respectfully , but that ’s sort of hard for [me]1784-i . [I]1784-i do n’t make the right choices sometimes , and last night it showed . [I]1784-i ’m really sorry , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[1784-i] “ Do n’t be , ”[1784-i] [she]1784-i says , resting back on [my]0-i chest . [I]0-i hold [her]1784-i close , wishing this is what [we]1785-we were normally like , that this was a typical Saturday morning for [us]1785-we . [I]0-i think [we]1785-we both treated [each other]333-each other unfairly . [I]0-i used [you]89-kelsey because [I]0-i was feeling empty after that date , and [I]0-i never should have . ”[0-i] “ It really did n’t go well ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]1784-i , hoping [she]1784-i ’ll say yes . [I]1784-i thought it did . ”[1784-i] Damn . “ But it ended . . . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i pauses and buries [her]1784-i head farther into [my]0-i chest . [God]92-god , this is so embarrassing and [I]1784-i ca n’t believe [I]1784-i ’m even considering telling [you]89-kelsey . ”[1784-i] [I]0-i gently drag [my]0-i fingers through the long strands as [I]0-i say , “ No judgment here . ”[0-i] [She]1784-i groans and then says , [God]92-god , [he]2754-dude gave [me]1784-i a handshake last night as a goodbye . ”[1784-i] “ A handshake ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . Jesus , [dude]2754-dude , way to fucking blow it with [the most irresistible woman]1787-the most irresistible woman . “ Yes , [I]1784-i was mentally preparing for a kiss , followed up by an ‘ [I]1784-i ’ll call [you]89-kelsey , ’ or ‘ let ’s do this again , ’ maybe even a possible ‘ [I]1784-i ca n’t wait to see [you]89-kelsey again . ’ But [I]1784-i got a thank [you]0-i and a handshake , and then [I]1784-i was on [my]1784-i way . It was such a letdown because [I]1784-i thought there was chemistry . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i shakes [her]1784-i head . [I]1784-i was so sad when [I]1784-i came [home]2941-home . All [I]1784-i can think about is what ’s wrong with [me]1784-i ? What ’s so horrible about [me]1784-i that [I]1784-i ’d pull a handshake out of [a man]2703-a man ? [I]1784-i mean , not even a hug ? ”[1784-i] “ Nothing is wrong with [you]1784-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Trust [me]1784-i , nothing is fucking wrong with [you]1784-i . [You]1784-i ’re perfect . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i shakes [her]1784-i head again . [I]1784-i ’m not . ”[1784-i] [I]0-i lean away and lift [her]1784-i chin so [our]1788-our eyes connect . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]1784-i ’re fucking perfect , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say again , trying to convey to [her]1784-i how goddamn right [I]0-i am about this . [Derek]166-derek is [a fool]3828-a fool for not kissing [you]1784-i last night . And [I]1784-i ’m sorry that [he]166-derek left [you]1784-i feeling anything less than what [you]1784-i truly are . Fuck . [I]1784-i ’m so sorry for how [I]1784-i treated [you]1784-i last night . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i shakes [her]1784-i head . “ In that moment , [I]1784-i needed it . [I]1784-i needed to feel wanted and beautiful . [I]1784-i ’m just sorry [I]1784-i used [you]1784-i . ”[1784-i] [You]1784-i did n’t use [me]1784-i , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [I]1784-i wanted that just as much as [you]1784-i did . There was no using involved . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i softly smiles . “ Well , [I]1784-i guess , thank [you]0-i . ”[1784-i] [She]1784-i shrugs and it causes [me]0-i to laugh . [I]1784-i know [you]1784-i said [we]1789-we ’re short - term [companions]1430-companions and [you]1784-i will probably deny it until [you]1784-i ’re blue in the face , but [your]1784-i friendship means a lot to [me]1784-i . ”[1784-i] Like a goddamn dagger to the heart . [I]0-i ’ve been friend - zoned . After everything [we]1789-we ’ve been through , after last night , after the dates , [I]0-i ’m stuck right there , as [[her]1784-i friend]1790-her friend . Fuck . [I]0-i continue to stroke [her]1784-i hair , disappointment passing through [me]0-i . “ Yeah , same , [babe]2728-babe . ”[0-i] And because [he]1791-he has the WORST timing ever , [Huxley]90-huxley calls . [Kelsey]89-kelsey lifts from [my]0-i chest , adjusts [herself]89-kelsey , and then reaches out to the propped - up iPad and accepts the call . [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey come onscreen and [Kelsey]89-kelsey quickly waves . “ Hi . ”[89-kelsey] “ Hey , good morning , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . “ Hope this was n’t too early . [I]89-kelsey know [you]89-kelsey had a date last night . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey wiggles [her]89-kelsey eyebrows . “ No , this is fine . Is everything okay ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks . [She]89-kelsey ’s worried [you]90-huxley ’re going to fire [her]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , causing [Kelsey]89-kelsey to push [me]0-i . “ Why would [I]90-huxley fire [you]89-kelsey ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says , speaking up now . [You]89-kelsey ’re doing excellent work . ”[90-huxley] “ Oh , that ’s just how [Kelsey]89-kelsey is , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey answers . [She]89-kelsey always thinks [she]89-kelsey ’s going to get fired . But this has nothing to do with work . ”[89-kelsey] “ No , nothing like that , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . “ And for the record , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey have nothing to worry about . [JP]87-jp took care of [Regis]180-regis last night . ”[90-huxley] [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , [this guy]2740-this guy . [Kelsey]89-kelsey quickly looks toward [me]0-i , but [I]0-i ignore [her]89-kelsey probing eyes and ask , “ So what ’s the phone call for ? ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey loops [her]89-kelsey arm through [Huxley]90-huxley ’s and says , “ Well , while going through all these wedding meetings , [we]3831-we ’ve come to the conclusion that a big fancy wedding is n’t necessary . [We]3831-we ’re getting married in a month instead . ”[89-kelsey] “ A month ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks . “ Oh wow , that ’s really soon . Will [you]90-huxley have enough time to plan everything ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes . [You]89-kelsey ’d be surprised how quickly things can get done when the right checkbook is involved , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . “ It ’s true . [He]87-jp ’s been flashing around dollar signs to [everyone]2734-everyone , and things are getting done . But [we]3831-we ’re calling because it ’s going to be a rooftop wedding in [Malibu]99-malibu that overlooks [the ocean]1251-the ocean . [We]3831-we ’re inviting about [one hundred people]3834-one hundred people and keeping it pretty small . Do n’t worry , [you]89-kelsey each get a plus - one . ”[90-huxley] [Lottie]89-kelsey winks at [Kelsey]89-kelsey . “ Maybe [you]89-kelsey can bring [Derek]166-derek . [Dave]168-dave and [Ellie]167-ellie will be there . ”[89-kelsey] Fucking wonderful . “ Yeah , maybe , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says , but [her]89-kelsey voice is distant . “ Anyway , [we]3831-we ’ll send the details over shortly . [We]3831-we wanted to call [you]166-derek and tell [you]166-derek the big news . When it came down to it , [we]3831-we just wanted to be married , so [we]3831-we thought this would be a perfect combination for both of [us]3831-we . ”[89-kelsey] “ Sounds dreamy , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says just as a text message pops up at the top of [her]89-kelsey iPad screen . [My]0-i eyes make quick work of reading it before [Kelsey]89-kelsey can swipe it away . [Derek]166-derek : Hey , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i had a great time last night . Can [we]1793-we please do it again while [you]0-i ’re here ? [My]0-i jaw clenches and sweat breaks out on the back of [my]0-i neck . [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m friend - zoned . [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey ’ll never see [me]0-i as [someone to date]1794-someone to date . But fuck . . . [I]0-i do n’t need to see [Derek]166-derek swooping in while things are still raw . “ Are [you]0-i still going to have a bridal shower or anything like that ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks . “ Um , [I]89-kelsey think just a lingerie party . Something small . Nothing too crazy . [We]3835-we do n’t need anything , but [I]89-kelsey know [Hux]141-hux here would appreciate the lingerie . ”[89-kelsey] [Huxley]90-huxley scratches [his]1795-his jaw . [I]222-bing would . ”[222-bing] [Bing]222-bing . Another text . Like a moth to a flame , [my]0-i eyes zero in on the text message . [Derek]166-derek : And sorry about not kissing [you]89-kelsey last night . [I]0-i really wanted to . [I]0-i just got . . . The rest of the text message is hidden , but [I]0-i get the gist of it . [Derek]166-derek is [a goddamn pussy]1796-a goddamn pussy and is now ruining [my]0-i life by coming in hot with the text messages the next morning . [I]0-i do n’t think life could be any more frustrating . [We]1797-we spend the next five minutes talking . [I]0-i ’m zoning out the whole time , wondering why this could n’t have been texted or emailed to [us]1797-we . Why this required a FaceTime call . Because now [I]0-i know that [Derek]166-derek still wants to take [Kelsey]89-kelsey out , and knowing [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey ’s going to be 100 percent excited about this . Just as [we]1797-we ’re about to hang up , one more message comes in . [Derek]166-derek : [I]0-i ’m free today if [you]89-kelsey want to have a picnic in [the park]1798-the park with [me]0-i . Gag [me]0-i . Jesus Christ , [Derek]166-derek , give [her]89-kelsey a chance to respond before [you]89-kelsey write a fucking novel about how [you]89-kelsey feel , how [you]89-kelsey fucked up , and how [you]89-kelsey want to make it up to [her]89-kelsey . [JP]87-jp , do [you]0-i still need to talk ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks , pulling [me]0-i from the anger simmering in the pit of [my]0-i stomach . “ What ? Ah , nah , [I]0-i ’m good , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say in the most even - toned voice [I]0-i can muster . “ Okay . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley eyes [me]0-i . “ Text [me]90-huxley if [you]0-i need anything . ”[90-huxley] “ So excited for [you]1799-you two , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says before [we]1799-you all say bye and [she]89-kelsey disconnects the call . [I]0-i ’m prepared for [her]89-kelsey to run off and read [her]89-kelsey text messages , but instead , [she]89-kelsey turns toward [me]0-i and asks , “ What did [Huxley]90-huxley mean when [he]3836-he said [you]0-i took care of [Regis]180-regis ? ”[89-kelsey] Of course [she]89-kelsey ’d remember that . [I]0-i stand from the couch and say , “ Nothing to worry about . ”[0-i] [I]89-kelsey am worried , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , standing as well . “ Clearly , it had something to do with [me]89-kelsey . What was it ? ”[89-kelsey] [He]180-regis was just being [a dick]786-a dick and [I]0-i set [him]180-regis straight , is all . It ’s not a big deal so do n’t make it one . ”[0-i] [You]0-i saw [him]180-regis at the ball last night ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i exhale sharply and go to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen to pour [myself]0-i a glass of water . “ Yes , [I]0-i saw [him]180-regis [there]2954-there last night . Addressed the issue and moved on . ”[0-i] “ What was the issue ? ”[0-i] “ Jesus , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]89-kelsey said it was n’t a big deal , so just drop it . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey winces from [my]0-i strong tone . “ Okay , [I]89-kelsey just . . . [I]89-kelsey do n’t know . [I]89-kelsey thought if [I]89-kelsey understand what ’s going on , maybe [I]89-kelsey can do better . ”[89-kelsey] [You]89-kelsey do n’t need to do better . [I]0-i told [you]89-kelsey , [you]89-kelsey ’re perfect . [Regis]180-regis was [the one who needed to do better]3839-the one who needed to do better . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chug [my]0-i water and set down the glass before working [my]0-i way back to [the hallway that leads to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room]1801-the hallway that leads to my room . “ Where are [you]1803-i going ? ”[0-i] “ To [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [You]1803-i seem angry again . ”[0-i] Not angry . [I]0-i ’m hurt . Disappointed . Aching for a chance [I]0-i know [I]0-i wo n’t get . [We]3841-we just do n’t need to talk about it , okay ? ”[0-i] “ Okay , ”[1803-i] [she]1803-i says , twisting [her]1803-i hands in front of [her]1803-i . “ What are [you]0-i doing today ? ”[1803-i] “ Not sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . “ But it seems like [you]0-i have plans . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , [I]1803-i guess [you]0-i saw those messages . ”[1803-i] [She]1803-i moves [her]1803-i foot in front of [her]1803-i . “ What do [you]0-i think [I]1803-i should do ? ”[1803-i] Not come to [me]0-i for dating advice , that ’s for damn sure . [I]1803-i thought [we]3841-we had a good time , but [I]1803-i felt really let down by [him]3842-him last night . [I]1803-i do n’t know . ”[1803-i] “ Seems like [you]1803-i have a choice to make , then , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ But what if it ’s not the right choice ? ”[1803-i] [she]1803-i calls out . [I]1803-i ’m sure it ’ll be a better choice than the one [you]1803-i made last night , ”[1803-i] [I]0-i answer before shutting the door to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room and flopping onto [my]0-i bed . [Hollow]223-hollow . That ’s how [I]0-i feel , absolutely hollow . For a brief moment last night , when [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s eyes were on [me]0-i and [she]89-kelsey was coming , and then earlier when [I]0-i had [her]89-kelsey in [my]0-i arms , everything felt right . [I]0-i felt right . Ready . But now , lying here alone on [my]0-i bed , knowing that once again what [I]0-i had with [her]89-kelsey was a brief intermission during [her]89-kelsey quest to find [Mr. Right]224-mr. right , [I]0-i just feel . . . hollow .

* * *

[Dude]2754-dude , how many drinks have [you]2754-dude had ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Not enough , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer as [I]0-i tip back another glass of Scotch . When [I]0-i caught sight of [Kelsey]89-kelsey dressed in a light blue sundress , hair and makeup all done , [her]89-kelsey decision was clear — [she]89-kelsey was giving [Derek]166-derek another shot , and this time , [he]166-derek ’ll fucking kiss [her]89-kelsey . So , [I]0-i went to [my]0-i phone , asked [the concierge]1805-the concierge to bring up a bottle of Scotch and some of those fancy balls of ice , and that ’s what [I]0-i ’ve been doing ever since [she]89-kelsey left . Drinking . In [my]0-i shorts . [I]0-i showered because [I]0-i did n’t want to sit in [my]0-i filth all day , but [I]0-i did nothing with [my]0-i hair . [I]0-i ’ve spent the day so far drinking and watching [Planet Earth]53-planet earth documentaries , letting [David Attenborough]225-david attenborough soothe [my]0-i massacred soul . If [you]1806-you ’re wondering if it ’s worked . . . [It]1807-it has not . But at least [I]0-i have n’t been entirely alone . Nope , Scotch and the threat of polar bears losing [[their]1808-their homes]1809-their homes has lived with [me]0-i through this moment . That , and [my]0-i thousands of text messages to [Breaker]97-breaker about how [we]1810-we need to do more for the polar bears , which resulted in [me]0-i donating to [the World Wildlife Fund]1811-the world wildlife fund , earmarked to Save the Polar Bear , which of course made [me]0-i feel guilty that [I]0-i was cheating on the pigeons . So , [I]0-i ended up donating another ten thousand to the pigeons . After [I]0-i sent [him]97-breaker five pictures of pigeons that need to be fostered or adopted , [he]97-breaker called [me]0-i . “ And what ’s with the pigeon pictures ? Should [I]97-breaker be worried ? Those things shit all over [the place]452-the place , so do [you]97-breaker really want to adopt one ? ”[97-breaker] [You]97-breaker shit all over [the place]452-the place , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Do n’t talk about the pigeons like that . There are thousands of pigeons being euthanized because [no one]2811-no one wants to adopt [them]3847-them . [No one]2811-no one wants to take care of [their]3847-them vet bills . [Everyone]2734-everyone wants to be the person who saves [the cute kitten with one eye]3850-the cute kitten with one eye , [the dog in a wheelchair]3851-the dog in a wheelchair , or the rabbit with no teeth . But what about the flightless pigeons ? For fuck ’s sake , who ’s taking care of [them]3847-them ? ”[0-i] “ Hey , [JP]87-jp , dude . . . are [you]87-jp having a mental health crisis ? ”[97-breaker] “ No , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout and stand . [I]0-i ’m not . [I]0-i ’m just [a concerned citizen]3852-a concerned citizen . [You]3853-you walk around [these streets]3854-these streets , never noticing pigeons , thinking [they]3847-them ’re just an accessory to [a Bob Ross landscape]3855-a bob ross landscape , and then , bam , [you]3853-you hear pigeons are being euthanized and [the world]2761-the world comes tumbling down around [you]3853-you . Sure , [I]0-i saved the polar bears today because looking at [those emaciated motherfuckers]3857-those emaciated motherfuckers made [me]0-i physically ill but , [dude]2754-dude , [I]0-i ’m going to start a goddamn campaign , and the logo will be a pigeon in flight . And the money will go to saving all the pigeons because [no one]2811-no one cares about [them]3847-them . [No one]2811-no one thinks [they]3847-them ’re worth [their]3847-them time . Just because a pigeon might have a fucked - up childhood and ca n’t fly like the rest of the birds , that does n’t mean that the pigeon should be isolated . ”[0-i] “ Uh . . . [JP]87-jp , are [you]87-jp . . . are [you]87-jp [a pigeon]3861-a pigeon ? ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker ’m [a fucking man]3862-a fucking man , [you]87-jp nimrod ! [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , are [you]87-jp even listening to [me]97-breaker ? ”[97-breaker] “ Are [you]87-jp listening to [yourself]87-jp ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i am . [I]0-i am listening , and [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [I]0-i ’m [the only one who fucking cares about those angelic , stout - bodied birds]3863-the only one who fucking cares about those angelic , stout - bodied birds . ”[0-i] “ So , are [you]87-jp going to adopt one ? ”[97-breaker] “ What ? God , no . Fuck , imagine [me]97-breaker with a goddamn pigeon . What the hell would [I]97-breaker do with it ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i honestly do n’t know , [dude]2754-dude . [You]2754-dude sound like [you]2754-dude need a hobby or [a friend]3217-a friend . ”[0-i] “ Or [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mutter as [I]0-i sit back down in [my]0-i chair . [A girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Tell [me]97-breaker more about this , because as far as [I]97-breaker know , [you]2754-dude ’ve never really wanted one . ”[97-breaker] “ Well , [you]2754-dude know what , [fuckstick]226-fuckstick ? [People]2736-people change . Okay ? Why ca n’t [anyone]377-anyone see that ? [People]2736-people fucking change , and [I]97-breaker think it ’s time that [we]3871-we all sit down , have a glass of wine , and talk about how [someone]364-someone named [a freaking pigeon Kazoo]3873-a freaking pigeon kazoo and got away with it . ”[97-breaker] “ What ’s wrong with the name [Kazoo]227-kazoo ? ”[97-breaker] “ It ’s such a slap in the face to [the pigeon community]3874-the pigeon community . Let ’s name [this majestic feathered friend]3875-this majestic feathered friend after [a simple twenty - five cent child]3876-a simple twenty - five cent child ’s toy that gives [the vocalist]3877-the vocalist a timbral quality when playing it . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker love [you]2754-dude , [man]3096-man , but [I]97-breaker really think [you]2754-dude ’ve lost it . ”[97-breaker] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Nope , [I]0-i ’m seeing things so fucking clearly right now . Like a goddamn crystal . ”[0-i] “ It seems like that crystal is foggy . ”[97-breaker] “ Fuck , do [you]2754-dude know what [I]97-breaker should do ? ”[97-breaker] “ Seek [a counselor]3879-a counselor ? ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker should send an email . ”[97-breaker] “ Uh , what sort of email ? [You]2754-dude know , sending emails while intoxicated is never a good idea . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker ’m not intoxicated . [I]97-breaker ’m finally seeing things the way that [I]97-breaker should . ”[97-breaker] “ And how is that ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Well , [I]97-breaker want [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend , and [I]97-breaker need a date for the wedding , so [I]97-breaker should send an email . ”[97-breaker] “ Wait , can [we]3881-we go back to this ‘ wanting [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend ’ thing ? Where ’s this coming from ? ”[97-breaker] “ Dude , ca n’t [you]2754-dude fucking keep up ? ”[97-breaker] “ No , [I]0-i really ca n’t . One moment [you]2754-dude ’re talking about pigeons , and the next [you]2754-dude ’re saying [you]2754-dude ’re going to send an email about [girlfriends]3883-girlfriends . [I]0-i really think [we]3881-we should slow down , reel it in , and maybe drink some coffee . ”[0-i] [I]0-i heave a heavy sigh . “ Christ , [I]0-i told [you]2754-dude how [I]0-i like [Kelsey]89-kelsey , how the urge to be around [her]89-kelsey is so consuming that [I]0-i feel like . . . fuck , [I]0-i feel like [I]0-i ca n’t breathe . [She]89-kelsey ’s so fucking pretty , and [her]89-kelsey smile makes [me]0-i happy , and the way [she]89-kelsey laughs creates a bolt of lust straight to [my]0-i cock . And [she]89-kelsey ’s so weird and quirky and likes love but is terrible at it for some reason . And fuck is [she]89-kelsey uptight about things like organization and [she]89-kelsey loves being right , but [I]0-i like that about [her]89-kelsey because [she]89-kelsey ’s neurotic and [I]0-i ’m a bit neurotic in [my]0-i own way — fucking pigeons , [you]2754-dude know , [man]3096-man — so [I]0-i think [we]3885-we ’d make [a great fucking couple]3886-a great fucking couple but [she]89-kelsey does n’t like [me]0-i and just wants to be [[my]0-i friend]1063-my friend because [she]89-kelsey thinks that [I]0-i ’m just [some player who ca n’t commit and , sure , maybe that ’s in [my]0-i past]3888-some player who ca n’t commit and , sure , maybe that ’s in my past , but like [I]0-i said , [people]2736-people change and [I]0-i want to change for [her]89-kelsey , but [she]89-kelsey does n’t want to see that so [she]89-kelsey friend - zoned [me]0-i and [she]89-kelsey ’s now going out with [Derek]166-derek , who did n’t even fucking kiss [her]89-kelsey on the first date , what [a douche]1619-a douche . [He]166-derek shook [her]89-kelsey hand . Like , [dude]2754-dude , have [you]2754-dude fucking seen [this girl]2758-this girl ? [She]2758-this girl ’s not handshake material , [she]2758-this girl ’s marriage material . [She]2758-this girl ’s [the girl that [you]2754-dude take [home]2941-home to [[your]2754-dude parents]3895-your parents]3893-the girl that you take home to your parents . [You]2754-dude do n’t fucking shake [her]89-kelsey hand at the end of a date , [you]2754-dude kiss [her]89-kelsey , claim [her]89-kelsey , make [her]89-kelsey [yours]2754-dude . Well , [she]89-kelsey ’s going out with [him]2754-dude again , so [I]0-i need [a girlfriend]3493-a girlfriend , so [I]0-i ’m going to send an email . ”[0-i] “ Ah . . . fuck . And an email to who ? ”[97-breaker] “ To [everyone]2734-everyone . ”[97-breaker] [You]2754-dude know , [I]0-i really think [we]3898-we should n’t do the email thing . That seems like a bad idea . ”[0-i] “ It seems like a great one to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Because [you]97-breaker ’re drunk , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says . “ Spending fifty grand on pigeons seems like a good idea to [you]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] “ It was only twenty grand altogether . Fuck , should it have been fifty ? ”[0-i] “ That ’s not the point . [I]0-i think [you]97-breaker should just calm down , take a deep breath and , [JP]87-jp , if [you]97-breaker really like [her]89-kelsey , [I]0-i think [you]97-breaker should try to date [her]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ And how do [you]97-breaker suppose [I]0-i go about doing that ? ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker have some ideas , but [I]97-breaker do n’t think saying them right now is going to help [you]97-breaker . Not sure [you]97-breaker ’ll retain anything . [I]97-breaker ’m going to text [you]97-breaker , and [you]97-breaker can read it in the morning , when [your]97-breaker mind is . . . fresh . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i ’m fresh as fuck right now . ”[0-i] “ It ’s cute that [you]97-breaker think that . Listen , do n’t email [anybody]3899-anybody right now . That ’s a bad idea . Maybe cap that bottle [you]97-breaker ’re drinking from , go get some food , and park it in [[your]97-breaker room]3250-your room for the rest of the night . [You]97-breaker do n’t want to say or do something stupid . If [you]97-breaker really like [Kelsey]89-kelsey , then let [me]0-i help [you]97-breaker figure out a way to show that . ”[0-i] “ Think a pigeon will carry a note to [her]89-kelsey ? ”[97-breaker] “ Great possibility , [man]3096-man . ”[0-i] [I]0-i sigh again . “ Okay . ”[0-i] “ Okay ? So , [you]97-breaker ’re going to go get some food , and [we]3902-we ’ll talk in the morning . ”[0-i] “ Yeah . ”[0-i] “ And no emailing . ”[0-i] “ Right , no emailing . ”[0-i] “ Good . And hey , not sure [I]0-i said this , but good job being a voice for the pigeons , [man]3096-man . [You]97-breaker ’re doing [God]92-god ’s work . ”[0-i] [I]0-i clutch [my]0-i chest . “ Thank [you]97-breaker , that means a lot to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] After some goodbyes , [I]0-i hang up feeling marginally better . [I]0-i saved the polar bears and the pigeons and [I]0-i ’m going to win [Kelsey]89-kelsey . What a productive afternoon . Pleased with [myself]0-i , [I]0-i cap the Scotch bottle like [Breaker]97-breaker said , pick up [my]0-i empty glass , and head toward [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . Just then , [I]0-i hear the door open , and [I]0-i pause in [the hallway]1132-the hallway , holding [my]0-i breath . [She]89-kelsey ’s [home]2941-home . Do [I]0-i want [her]89-kelsey to see [me]0-i like this ? Probably not . [I]0-i know [I]0-i told [Breaker]97-breaker [I]0-i was n’t drunk , but let ’s call a spade a spade — [I’m]0-i fucking sitting pretty right now , and [I]0-i do n’t need to mess up anything with [Kelsey]89-kelsey because Scotch has been [[my]0-i mistress]1815-my mistress this afternoon . So , [I]0-i spin on [my]0-i heel and head for [[my]0-i bedroom]940-my bedroom , but [I]0-i stop when [I]0-i hear a male voice . [I]0-i quickly turn back around . No fucking way did [she]89-kelsey bring [him]1817-him back [here]2716-here . [I]0-i slide along the wall , hoping to stay undetected as [I]0-i attempt to eavesdrop on a conversation [I]0-i ’ve no right listening to . [I]0-i grow closer and closer . Then [I]0-i hear [Kelsey]89-kelsey . “ Thank [you]0-i so much for walking [me]89-kelsey up here . [You]0-i really did n’t have to . ”[89-kelsey] Yeah , [you]0-i did n’t have to , [fucker]1819-fucker . [She]89-kelsey ’s more than capable , [she]89-kelsey ’s done it many times already . [I]89-kelsey just felt bad , the way [I]89-kelsey left [you]0-i last time . ”[89-kelsey] Because [you]0-i ’re [a moron]2725-a moron . “ Well , thank [you]0-i . [I]89-kelsey had a nice time , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says in [her]89-kelsey sweet voice , and [I]0-i swear if [I]0-i hear [them]1821-they kiss , [I]0-i ’ll fucking melt into a puddle of despair right here . [Me]89-kelsey too . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i hold [my]0-i breath . [I]0-i wait for the telltale sound of two mouths colliding . [I]0-i ’m tempted to whip around the corner and watch desperately as [they]1821-they say goodbye . [I]166-derek ’ll call [you]0-i , ”[166-derek] [Derek]166-derek finally says , and [I]0-i ca n’t tell if [they]1821-they kissed , hugged , or shook hands again , but it ’s nearly killing [me]0-i . “ Okay , sounds good . Have a good rest of [your]0-i day . ”[0-i] The door shuts , and [I]0-i stand there against the wall , unmoving as [I]0-i attempt to tell [myself]0-i to move , to get out of [here]2716-here , to not look like a peeping [Tom]113-tom hanks . But the unknown of whether or not [they]1821-they kissed is keeping [me]0-i in place , [my]0-i mind reeling . What is [she]1823-you feeling right now ? [JP]87-jp ? ”[1823-you] [she]1823-you asks , looking down [the hallway]1132-the hallway at [me]0-i plastered against the wall , tumbler in one hand , Scotch in the other . “ What are [you]87-jp doing ? ”[1823-you] Errrr . . . What am [I]0-i doing ? Well , honest truth — trying to decide if [I]0-i need to finish this bottle based on if [he]1825-he kissed [you]1826-you or not . But that does n’t seem like a safe answer . Even in [my]0-i drunken state , [I]0-i know that ’s not a safe answer , so [I]0-i go with the second - best thing . . . “ Smelling . ”[0-i] “ Smelling ? ”[1823-you] [she]1823-you asks , [her]1823-you face tightening in confusion . “ What are [you]87-jp smelling ? ”[1823-you] “ The wall , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , and then to [my]0-i horror , [I]0-i spin around , plant [my]0-i nose right on the wall , and take a big old whiff . Whoa . . . why does that smell like [kielbasa]54-kielbasa ? “ Why are [you]1823-you smelling the wall ? ”[1823-you] Great , solid question . And unfortunately , [I]0-i do n’t have a great , solid answer to match it . “ Favorite pastime , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Smell a wall in [your]1823-you spare time . Anyway , so [you]1823-you ’re back from [your]1823-you date . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]0-i okay ? ”[1823-you] [she]1823-you asks , taking a step closer . “ Fine , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , gripping the neck of the bottle tighter . “ Just , uh , thirsty . ”[0-i] [I]0-i hold up the Scotch . “ Going back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room . Watching a documentary about dying polar bears . Do n’t worry , [I]0-i donated to help [them]3905-them . . . and the pigeons . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swallow . “ Anyway , just going to do that . But , yeah , glad [you]1823-you had a nice time and [you]1823-you look . . . [you]1823-you look beautiful in that dress . But that ’s neither here nor there . It ’s just an observation . ”[0-i] [My]0-i throat grows tight . Why is it tightening ? Am [I]0-i . . . fuck , am [I]0-i feeling emotion ? [JP]87-jp , are [you]0-i sure [you]0-i ’re okay ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , ”[0-i] [I]0-i choke out . “ Sorry if that beautiful comment made [you]1823-you feel weird . [I]0-i just . . . [I]0-i just think that [you]1823-you look really nice . Really pretty . But [you]1823-you know , [you]1823-you ’re dating [Derek]166-derek . Was [his]166-derek kiss good ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i hold up the bottle . “ Wait , do n’t answer that . [I]0-i do n’t want to know . None of [my]0-i business . [I]0-i do n’t want to know . [I]0-i just . . . man , those polar bears , they ’re really thin . [You]1823-you can see [their]3906-their ribs . And [I]0-i ’m going to write a letter to [the pigeon place]3907-the pigeon place , and tell [them]3907-the pigeon place [they]3907-the pigeon place should n’t name a pigeon Kazoo . [He]166-derek looks more like [a Kevin]3908-a kevin . Just [my]0-i honest opinion . So , yeah , okay . Well , [I]0-i ’ll , uh , see [you]1823-you later . ”[0-i] [I]0-i turn and practically run to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room . [I]0-i slam the door and lock it for safe keeping . Fuck , what was that shit ? Embarrassing , that ’s what it was . [I]0-i set down [my]0-i Scotch glass on [my]0-i nightstand and pour [myself]0-i multiple fingers . [I]0-i ca n’t imagine what [she]1828-she must think of [me]0-i , but it ca n’t be good . And [Derek]166-derek , fuck , [I]0-i think [they]1829-they kissed . [I]0-i did n’t hear any lip smacking , but [they]1829-they might be [quiet kissers]1830-quiet kissers . [That motherfucker]1831-that motherfucker kissed [her]1828-she before [I]0-i did and that stings . [I]0-i know [her]1828-she better . [We]1832-we ’ve been acquainted for longer . [I]0-i ’ve pined after [this girl]2758-this girl for fucking months . And [he]166-derek kissed [her]1828-she first . [I]0-i do n’t even know [the fucker]1834-the fucker , but it makes [me]0-i so goddamn . . . sad . Fuck . [I]0-i tip back [my]0-i tumbler , sucking down some more Scotch . [I]0-i do n’t like this pain [I]0-i ’m feeling . [I]0-i do n’t like these emotions souring through [me]0-i . [I]0-i do n’t like any of it . [I]0-i want to be numb . [I]0-i want to not have to deal with these self - deprecating thoughts . [I]0-i do n’t want to think about [their]1835-their date , what [they]1835-their did or did n’t do , or if [she]1828-she ’s texting [him]166-derek right now . Or if [she]1828-she ’s telling [Lottie]89-kelsey how much [she]1828-she likes [Derek]166-derek , how [she]1828-she wants to take [him]166-derek to the wedding . The wedding . . . [I]0-i spend the next half hour downing the rest of the bottle until there ’s only an inch left . [I]0-i cry about the polar bears , watching them all over again . [I]0-i send an email to [the pigeon place]3907-the pigeon place , inquiring about Kazoo . And [I]0-i text [Breaker]97-breaker that [I]0-i ’m [a loser who masturbates to exhalations]1837-a loser who masturbates to exhalations . And sometime in the night , when [I]0-i ’m just about ready to pass out , [I]0-i send one more email from [my]0-i private account . To : [McKayla]228-mckayla , [Kenzie]229-kenzie , [Hattie]230-hattie , [Eileen]231-eileen , [Barbie]232-barbie , [Olivia]233-olivia , [Betty]167-ellie , [Rita]112-meg ryan , [Jessica]234-jessica , [Tess]235-tess , [Pauline]236-pauline , [Dominique]237-dominique , [Miranda]238-miranda , [Cara]239-cara From : [JP Cane]87-jp Subject : Be [my]0-i Date [Hey ladieeees]240-hey ladieeees , Sending a big old cock of an email because , [you]1838-you know . . . [I]0-i have a big cock , so this email has to match . Here ’s the thing . [Hux]141-hux is getting married to [Lulu Lemon]241-lulu lemon and [they]1839-they told [me]0-i [I]0-i need a plus - one . Looking for [a willing candidate to escort [me]0-i down the aisle]1840-a willing candidate to escort me down the aisle . All expenses paid . Promises of pleasure . If interested , hit [me]0-i up . [I]0-i wear condoms still . K. Bye . [JP]87-jp

* * *

Fuck . [Me]0-i . Ohhhh . . . fuck . [My]0-i stomach rolls , [my]0-i body heaves , and [I]0-i ’m clutching [my]0-i toilet , puking for the third time this morning . Please , [Jesus]148-jesus christ , make it stop . [I]0-i promise to never drink that much again , just make . . . the . . . puking . . . Fuck . [My]0-i body rears back , [my]0-i stomach revolts , and once again , [I]0-i let it rip until there ’s nothing left inside [me]0-i . [I]0-i slide to the bathroom floor and rest [my]0-i heated cheek on the cold tile . If hell was [a place]1012-a place , [I]0-i imagine it being this , over and over again . A hangover with a constant , throbbing headache and matching nausea . [I]0-i take a few deep breaths as [my]0-i phone buzzes next to [me]0-i on the floor . Needing a distraction , [I]0-i look and see that it ’s Breaker . [Breaker]97-breaker : Are [you]1842-you alive this morning ? [You]1842-you texted [me]0-i a picture of [Kazoo]227-kazoo eleven times last night , all in a row . That leads [me]0-i to believe [you]1842-you did n’t stop drinking . [I]0-i lean against the wall as [I]0-i text [him]1842-you back . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i think [I]0-i used up one of [my]0-i lives last night . [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [I]0-i just threw up a boot . [Breaker]97-breaker : What the hell happened to “ go get some food ”[97-breaker] ? [JP]87-jp : [[Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s date]1843-kelsey ’s date walked [her]89-kelsey back to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . [I]0-i think [they]1845-they kissed . [I]0-i lost it , [man]3096-man . [I]0-i told [her]89-kelsey about the pigeons , rambled about sick polar bears , told [her]89-kelsey [she]89-kelsey was beautiful , and then went back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room where [I]0-i blacked out . So . . . yeah . [Breaker]97-breaker : [Jesus]148-jesus christ . So , [you]87-jp did n’t listen to [me]0-i at all . [JP]87-jp : Nope . [Breaker]97-breaker : So , what are [you]87-jp going to do this morning ? [JP]87-jp : So far , retching . Not sure what the plan is after that . [Breaker]97-breaker : Do [you]87-jp really like [her]89-kelsey ? Like . . . [you]87-jp want to go for this ? [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i think after last night ’s events , if [I]0-i do n’t at least try , [I]0-i ’m going to drink [myself]0-i into an oblivion . [Breaker]97-breaker : Do [you]87-jp have any plans ? [JP]87-jp : Not even one . [Breaker]97-breaker : Okay , first , [you]87-jp need to stop being [a dick to [her]89-kelsey]1848-a dick to her , because that ’s not winning [her]89-kelsey over . And start being [[her]89-kelsey friend]1790-her friend . [JP]87-jp : [[Her]89-kelsey friend]1790-her friend ? [I]0-i ’m already there . [She]89-kelsey friend - zoned [me]0-i . [Breaker]97-breaker : Good , because now [you]87-jp can hang out with [her]89-kelsey without the pressure of sex . Show [her]89-kelsey that [you]87-jp ’re fun , that [you]87-jp ’re a good match for [her]89-kelsey . [You]87-jp know the attraction is there , but [you]87-jp need to work on the personality . [JP]87-jp : If [you]87-jp have n’t noticed , [I]0-i ’m not very good at controlling [my]0-i emotions . Breaker : Not an excuse . Just work harder . If [you]87-jp want [her]89-kelsey to be with [you]87-jp , [you]87-jp need to show [her]89-kelsey that [you]87-jp can be [the man [she]89-kelsey wants]1851-the man she wants . [You]87-jp need to woo [her]89-kelsey . [JP]87-jp : Woo [her]89-kelsey ? Fuck . . . do n’t use that term . Breaker : But that ’s the term [she]89-kelsey ’d use . [She]89-kelsey ’s [a romantic]1852-a romantic . [You]87-jp have to do things that [she]89-kelsey ’d notice , things that matter . Make [her]89-kelsey meals , pull out [her]89-kelsey chair , bring [home]2941-home things that remind [you]87-jp of [her]89-kelsey . Little touches here and there . And when [you]87-jp ’re in [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , hanging out , sit close to [her]89-kelsey . Do n’t make it sexual , but let [her]89-kelsey know [you]87-jp ’re there . [JP]87-jp : Who made [you]87-jp [the expert at this shit]1855-the expert at this shit ? [Breaker]97-breaker : [No one]2811-no one , but [I]0-i ’m pretty damn sure [I]0-i have a better idea than [you]87-jp at this moment . [JP]87-jp : Fuck . . . fine . [Breaker]97-breaker : And , for the love of [God]92-god , do n’t go out there this morning until [you]87-jp ’re done puking . [JP]87-jp : Trust [me]0-i , [I]0-i ’m smart enough to realize that .

Chapter Seventeen

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Griffin]242-griffin and [Ren Kelsey]243-ren : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]1858-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Griffin]242-griffin and [Ren]243-ren , thank [you]1860-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . [Griffin]242-griffin : Sure . When [Ren]243-ren told [me]0-i about the podcast , [I]0-i thought [our]1858-we story was interesting enough to talk about . [Ren]243-ren : Interesting enough is a good way to put it . Tell [Kelsey]243-ren about The Curse . [Griffin]242-griffin : * Sighs * [I]0-i was in [New Orleans]55-new orleans with [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers , and it was a drunken night when [we]1858-we stumbled upon [a palm reader]1862-a palm reader . Long story short , [she]243-ren did a terrible palm reading , [we]1858-we voiced [our]1858-we opinion , and then — [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers and [I]0-i will swear on this — [she]243-ren cursed [us]1858-we . [Kelsey]243-ren : What was the curse ? [Griffin]242-griffin : Broken love . It was intense , the wind swirled and everything . [Ren]243-ren : [We]1858-we live in [a small town called Port Snow]1864-a small town called port snow , in [Maine]56-maine , and [the entire town]1865-the entire town knew about this curse . [The boys]598-the boys were untouchable . And to [Griffin]242-griffin ’s defense , [he]242-griffin did lose [[his]242-griffin wife]1867-his wife right after the trip , so [he]242-griffin was scared to try to find love again . [Kelsey]243-ren : So , how did [you]0-i meet ? [Griffin]242-griffin : [Ren]243-ren was looking for a fresh start . [She]243-ren got a teaching job in [Port Snow]57-port snow . Came all the way from [California]11-california . [Ren]243-ren : [I]0-i was driving to [Port Snow]57-port snow in what felt like [the backwoods]1868-the backwoods , and [I]0-i was n’t prepared for incoming traffic . [Griffin]242-griffin : When [she]243-ren says incoming traffic , [she]243-ren means , incoming moose . [Kelsey]243-ren : [Moose]244-moose ? [Ren]243-ren : Yup , a moose came out on [the road]586-the road , [I]0-i swerved and rolled down [a hill]1870-a hill , and [[my]0-i car]595-my car got stuck between two trees . [Griffin]242-griffin is [a volunteer firefighter]1872-a volunteer firefighter and pulled [me]0-i out of [[my]0-i vehicle]1873-my vehicle . [I]0-i was slightly insane that day and [he]242-griffin helped [me]0-i get to [my]0-i rental , which happened to be [a place [[his]242-griffin brother]1875-his brother owned]1874-a place his brother owned . [Griffin]242-griffin : Despite [her]1876-her screaming at [me]0-i and the blood dripping down [her]1876-her head from a cut , [I]0-i thought [she]1876-her was beautiful . [She]1876-her intrigued [me]0-i , and it was the first time since [[my]0-i wife]1877-my wife passed that [I]0-i felt attraction . And then , soon after , [I]0-i believed [I]0-i could date again . [Ren]243-ren was [my]0-i miracle . [Kelsey]243-ren : Aww . [I]0-i ’m so glad to hear that . So , [you]0-i started dating ? [Ren]243-ren : Not quite . It did n’t happen that fast , though , because , [you]0-i know . . . the curse . [Griffin]242-griffin : * chuckles * Do n’t bust [my]0-i balls on a podcast about that . [Ren]243-ren : Oh , [Kelsey]243-ren said [we]1878-we have an hour . Trust [me]0-i when [I]0-i say [I]0-i will be talking about the curse for that entire time . [Griffin]242-griffin : Great .

* * *

[I]0-i ’d like to say [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse is soundproof , that [I]0-i ca n’t hear what [JP]87-jp is doing and [he]87-jp ca n’t hear what [I]0-i ’m doing , but [I]0-i think after the whole walking in on [him]87-jp while [he]87-jp was pleasuring [himself]87-jp situation , [we]1878-we know that ’s not the truth . For a good portion of the last twenty minutes , [I]0-i ’ve heard [JP]87-jp throw up multiple times . [I]0-i ’d be concerned that [he]87-jp was sick , but given the bottle of Scotch [he]87-jp was holding last night , [I]0-i know that ’s not the case . This means , [he]87-jp got completely wasted last night and [he]87-jp ’s battling the effects of it this morning . Why did [he]87-jp get drunk last night ? Why was [he]87-jp talking about polar bears and pigeons ? Well , probably because [he]87-jp was drunk . [He]87-jp also said [I]0-i was beautiful , and [I]0-i ’d be lying if [I]0-i said that did n’t make [me]0-i feel all warm inside . Because it did . Either way , it kept [me]0-i up all night , and now , this morning , as [I]0-i sit on the couch , rereading the same sentence in [my]0-i book over and over again because [I]0-i ca n’t concentrate , [I]0-i ’m waiting for [him]87-jp to come out of [[his]87-jp room]557-his room . [My]0-i phone buzzes on the coffee table , and [I]0-i see it ’s a text from [Lottie]89-kelsey . Needing the distraction from [my]0-i thoughts , [I]0-i pick it up . [Lottie]89-kelsey : How was the date last night ? [Ellie]167-ellie said [Derek]166-derek had a good time . [You]0-i have n’t said much . Not feeling [him]166-derek ? Also . . . remind [me]0-i to tell [you]0-i what [Ellie]167-ellie told [me]0-i about [JP]87-jp . That last part has [my]0-i attention . [I]0-i quickly reply . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Date was good . [Derek]166-derek is really sweet . Not sure if [he]166-derek ’s feeling [me]0-i . Did n’t kiss [me]0-i again last night , but [he]166-derek did give [me]0-i a hug . [I]0-i do n’t know . It ’s kind of awkward . What did [Ellie]167-ellie say about [JP]87-jp ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : [He]166-derek did n’t kiss [you]0-i ? Sheesh , talk about taking it slow . Oh , [she]167-ellie said [[her]167-ellie friend]1790-her friend is [a bartender who was at [the Mayor ’s Ball]1600-the mayor ’s ball]1882-a bartender who was at the mayor ’s ball . [She]89-kelsey served [JP]87-jp a Scotch and overheard a conversation between [him]87-jp and [Regis Stallone]180-regis . The conversation [JP]87-jp would n’t tell [me]0-i about . Immersed in [my]0-i phone now , [I]0-i text [her]89-kelsey back immediately . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : What happened ? What did [JP]87-jp say ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : [I]0-i do n’t have it word for word , but [she]89-kelsey said [JP]87-jp was incredibly hot when [he]87-jp spoke to [Regis]180-regis . [Regis]180-regis was staring out at the dance floor while [JP]87-jp stared at [him]180-regis . [She]89-kelsey mentioned [his]87-jp carved jawline and how tense it was as [he]87-jp spoke through clenched teeth . [She]89-kelsey heard [him]87-jp say that [you]1884-you ’re [a valuable part of [the team]3139-the team]1885-a valuable part of the team , and if [he]87-jp fucks with [you]1884-you , then [he]87-jp ’s done . That ’s paraphrased . Basically , [JP]87-jp was putting [him]87-jp in [his]87-jp place . [I]0-i lean back on the couch , rereading [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s text over and over until it sinks in . [He]87-jp was defending [me]0-i ? [I]0-i know [Regis]180-regis does n’t like [me]0-i , but from what [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s saying , [JP]87-jp wo n’t settle for that . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Wow , [I]0-i had no idea . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Yeah , and then [she]89-kelsey heard rumblings later about how [JP]87-jp was n’t taking any shit from [Regis]180-regis . It was the gossip of the party . One of the main reasons [no one]2811-no one fucks with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises . So , [I]0-i guess , consider [us]1888-us lucky . [We]1888-us somehow got on the good side of [some of [the most powerful men in [the country]2865-the country]1890-the most powerful men in the country]1889-some of the most powerful men in the country . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i guess so . The scuffling of approaching feet grabs [my]0-i attention , and [I]0-i look up just in time to spot [JP]87-jp appear in [the living room]2689-the living room , tugging on [his]87-jp wet hair , looking like hell , but clean hell at that . [I]0-i set down [my]0-i phone and say , “ Good morning . How are [you]87-jp feeling ? ”[0-i] When [he]87-jp speaks , [his]87-jp voice comes out raspy . “ Been better . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp winces , as if [he]87-jp has a headache , and asks , “ Did [you]0-i hear [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp did . [I]87-jp ’m assuming [your]87-jp trip to [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom was a result of the bottle of Scotch [I]87-jp saw [you]87-jp with last night ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp shoulders droop as [he]87-jp walks farther into [the living room]2689-the living room . “ Unfortunately . ”[87-jp] Knock . Knock . “ Room service , ”[364-someone] [someone]364-someone calls out from the other side of the door . “ That would be [my]87-jp garbage plate , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , walking over to the entryway . [He]87-jp opens it and lets [the room service attendant]1895-the room service attendant wheel in a cart of food . “ Good morning , [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane . Everything [you]160-mr. cane ordered is here . If [you]160-mr. cane need anything else , please do n’t hesitate to ask . ”[87-jp] “ Thank [you]160-mr. cane , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says as [he]87-jp signs the bill . When the door is shut and [we]1896-we ’re alone again , [JP]87-jp rolls [the cart]1897-the cart into [the living room]2689-the living room , nudges the coffee table out of the way , and then takes a seat next to [me]0-i on the couch . [I]87-jp ordered [you]160-mr. cane some things , in case [you]160-mr. cane did n’t eat breakfast yet . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes a few tops off the plates and reveals a pile of croissants and a tray of beautifully cut - up fruit , and then [he]87-jp moves a tray of hot water , tea , honey , and jams toward [me]0-i . [You]87-jp got this for [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ask in awe . [You]160-mr. cane seemed like [a tea - and - croissant kind of person]3910-a tea - and - croissant kind of person . If [you]160-mr. cane do n’t like it , [I]0-i can get [you]160-mr. cane something else . ”[0-i] “ No , this is . . . well , this is lovely , thank [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i ’re welcome . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes the top off [his]87-jp plate and [I]0-i ca n’t help the queasy look on [my]0-i face . “ Not to be rude , but , uh . . . what is that ? ”[0-i] “ Hangover cure . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp picks up a fork and points at [his]87-jp plate . “ Hash browns with refried beans , bacon and steak , eggs scrambled and over easy , drenched in a V8 sauce . ”[87-jp] * Gags * “ Oh . . . wow , that ’s , uh , that ’s something . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp glances at [me]0-i as [he]87-jp jams [his]87-jp fork into the pile . “ Do [you]0-i want [me]87-jp to eat this somewhere else ? ”[87-jp] “ What ? No . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp can tell it disgusts [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ It does n’t disgust [me]87-jp , it ’s just . . . interesting . [I]87-jp ’ve never seen something like it before . Two different kinds of eggs , very fascinating . And that V8 , it ’s potent . ”[87-jp] The smallest of smirks tugs at the corner of [his]87-jp lip . [I]87-jp ’ll eat it in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp goes to stand , but [I]0-i put [my]0-i hand on [his]87-jp forearm to stop [him]87-jp . “ No , please do n’t leave . It ’s fine , really , and [I]0-i do n’t want to have [you]87-jp sitting over there while [I]0-i shove croissants in [my]0-i mouth . [I]0-i ’d rather not eat alone . ”[0-i] [You]0-i sure ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Positive . ”[87-jp] “ Okay . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp moves [his]87-jp fork around [his]87-jp meal and then takes a large mouthful . [I]0-i just stare as [he]87-jp chews , wondering how on earth [he]87-jp can eat that after the marathon of puking [he]87-jp did in [[his]87-jp bathroom]1899-his bathroom . “ That does n’t bother [your]87-jp stomach ? ”[87-jp] “ Helps it , actually . Something [I]87-jp learned in [my]87-jp college days . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp reaches for [his]87-jp glass of water and takes a sip . “ Did [you]87-jp not have a hangover cure in college ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp did n’t drink much . Still do n’t . ”[87-jp] “ Ahh , it ’s because [you]87-jp ’re [a good girl]3912-a good girl . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp winks and takes another mouthful of [his]87-jp food . “ Maybe [I]0-i am , but at least [I]0-i ’m not puking out [my]0-i intestines the next morning , ”[0-i] [I]0-i reply . [He]87-jp smirks . “ Not [my]87-jp intestines , but [I]87-jp did tell [Breaker]97-breaker [I]87-jp might have seen a boot come out of [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] That makes [me]0-i snort and cover [my]0-i nose . “ Oh God , [I]87-jp snorted . Ignore that . ”[87-jp] “ Nah , just add it to [your]97-breaker list of good girl things . ”[87-jp] “ Do only [good girls]3913-good girls snort ? ”[87-jp] “ Yup . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp picks up the pepper from the table and dusts some across [his]87-jp plate . [I]0-i take that moment to steep [my]0-i tea and prepare a croissant with strawberry jam . “ Are [you]87-jp feeling better , at least ? ”[0-i] [I]87-jp mean , as best as [I]87-jp can . Sort of embarrassed . Did n’t think [you]87-jp could hear [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp do n’t think there ’s much privacy in these walls , despite how fancy [the place]452-the place is . ”[87-jp] “ A note to bring up to [Huxley]90-huxley when [I]87-jp talk to [him]87-jp next . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp lifts [his]87-jp napkin and wipes [his]87-jp mouth . When [I]0-i think [he]87-jp ’s going to say more and [he]87-jp does n’t , [I]0-i ask , “ Are [you]87-jp okay ? [I]0-i ’m sure [you]87-jp ’re sick of [me]0-i asking that , but it seems as though something was bothering [you]87-jp if [you]87-jp drank that much alone . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp eyes connect with [mine]0-i , and for the first time since [I]0-i ’ve known [him]87-jp , [I]0-i see a hint of shame cross them as [he]87-jp looks down . [JP]87-jp does n’t normally show vulnerability . [He]87-jp ’d rather shield it or laugh it off , always presenting [himself]87-jp as [the strong , domineering type]1900-the strong , domineering type . But here , on the couch , as [he]87-jp eats breakfast , [I]0-i can see it written all over [his]87-jp face . [You]0-i must think [I]87-jp ’m [a loser]3915-a loser , huh ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , pushing [his]87-jp food around on [his]87-jp plate . “ Not at all , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , setting down [my]0-i croissant and turning toward [him]87-jp . [I]0-i ’m just concerned . [You]87-jp seem emotionally erratic at times and [I]0-i wish [you]87-jp ’d talk to [me]0-i about it . [I]0-i mean , [I]0-i get that [we]3916-we ’re not [friends]2684-friends , or that [you]87-jp do n’t want to be [friends]2684-friends — ”[0-i] [I]87-jp do , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , surprising [me]0-i . [I]87-jp want to be [friends]2684-friends . ”[87-jp] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , entirely confused now . “ But [I]0-i thought — ”[0-i] [You]87-jp thought correctly . [I]87-jp told [you]87-jp [we]3916-we ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends and , sure , maybe a part of [me]87-jp still believes that , but [I]87-jp ’m also”—he[87-jp] pulls on the back of [his]87-jp neck—“fuck , [I]0-i have a hard time letting [people]2736-people into [my]0-i life . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp gaze matches [mine]0-i . “ Have , uh . . . have [Lottie]89-kelsey or [Huxley]90-huxley ever talked to [you]87-jp about [[my]87-jp dad]3922-my dad ? ”[87-jp] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head , feel [my]0-i pulse pick up . [JP]87-jp leans back on the couch and stares at the ceiling . “ Growing up , being so close in age to [[my]87-jp brothers]740-my brothers , [we]3924-we were all at each other ’s throats . [Huxley]90-huxley constantly pushed boundaries , and always tried to be the best , the first . [Breaker]97-breaker was [the easygoing one who just went with the flow]3925-the easygoing one who just went with the flow . Did n’t really care much about anything other than doing the right thing and having a good time . And then [I]87-jp kind of wandered around , attempting to find [[my]87-jp place]3926-my place . Never really did . Never felt like [I]87-jp belonged . . . unless [I]87-jp was hanging with [[my]87-jp dad]3922-my dad . [He]3922-my dad did n’t get much time off , [he]3922-my dad was driven like [Huxley]90-huxley , but the time [I]87-jp did get with [him]3922-my dad , [he]3922-my dad made [me]87-jp feel like [I]87-jp meant something . Like [I]87-jp had something special to offer [the world]2761-the world . ”[87-jp] “ What would [[you]3929-you guys]2996-you guys do ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . Frankly , [I]0-i ’m so surprised that [he]1901-you ’s sharing , but [I]0-i ’m also soaking up every ounce of it . “ Go to [the batting cages]3931-the batting cages . [We]2996-you guys ’d do five rounds each , grab a lemonade and nachos from [the concession stand]3932-the concession stand , then sit at [our]2996-you guys favorite picnic table and just talk . There were days where [we]2996-you guys talked for longer , and some days [we]2996-you guys did n’t talk at all . [Breaker]97-breaker and [Huxley]90-huxley were never that close with [Dad]246-dad . [They]2996-you guys never came with [us]2996-you guys , so when [he]246-dad passed away , [I]1901-you suffered from the loss the most . ”[1901-you] [His]1901-you eyes connect with [mine]0-i . [I]1901-you know , ever since losing [him]246-dad , [I]1901-you have n’t allowed many people in [my]1901-you life for fear of losing [them]2996-you guys . It did n’t take [me]1901-you long to figure that out . ”[1901-you] “ Hence why [you]1901-you do n’t want to be [friends]2684-friends . ”[1901-you] “ Exactly , ”[1901-you] [he]1901-you exhales . “ But with [you]1901-you , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , it just does n’t seem like [I]1901-you ’m able to shake [you]1901-you off , no matter how hard [I]1901-you try . [I]1901-you like hanging out with [you]1901-you . ”[1901-you] A smile spreads across [my]0-i lips . [I]1901-you like hanging out with [you]1901-you too , [JP]87-jp . ”[1901-you] “ So , then [I]1901-you guess it ’s settled . ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you sits back up , stabs [his]1901-you fork into the middle of [his]1901-you plateful of food , and scoops up a giant mouthful . [We]3934-we ’re [friends]2684-friends despite the odds of that happening because , [you]1901-you know . . . [I]1901-you still believe [men]2682-men and [women who work together]3937-women who work together ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends . ”[1901-you] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . [I]1901-you ’m sure [you]1901-you do , because [you]1901-you ca n’t possibly be wrong about anything , right ? ”[1901-you] “ Correct . ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you smirks . “ Okay , so [we]3934-we ’re [friends]2684-friends , which leads [me]1901-you to ask . . . why did [you]1901-you get drunk last night ? ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you glances away and pushes more food around on [his]1901-you plate . “ How about [we]3934-we save that question for another day ? Let ’s just focus on the new bond [we]3934-we have . ”[1901-you] [I]0-i do n’t like pushing whatever was bothering [him]1901-you aside , but [I]0-i also like this new side of [him]1901-you . [He]1901-you seems more . . . free , so [I]0-i ’m not going to push it . [I]0-i think [I]0-i can manage that . ”[0-i] “ Good . ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you sips [his]1901-you water again . “ Want to catch a movie today ? There ’s [an old - school theater near [the Angelica Building that runs old movies]3941-the angelica building that runs old movies]3940-an old - school theater near the angelica building that runs old movies . [I]1901-you heard [they]3940-an old - school theater near the angelica building that runs old movies ’re playing some sort of romcom two - for - one special . ”[1901-you] [I]0-i perk up . “ Like . . . [two romcoms]3942-two romcoms in a row ? ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you nods . “ Yup . [I]1901-you believe it ’s When [Harry]111-harry Met [Sally]111-harry and [He]1901-you ’s Just Not That Into [You]0-i . ”[1901-you] [I]0-i clap [my]0-i hands together . “ Ooo , [good ones]3943-good ones . And [you]1901-you ’d go with [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] “ Would n’t suggest it if [I]0-i did n’t want to . ”[0-i] “ But [I]1901-you thought [you]1901-you did n’t like movies like that ? ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you shrugs . [I]1901-you know [you]1901-you like [them]3940-an old - school theater near the angelica building that runs old movies , so , [they]3940-an old - school theater near the angelica building that runs old movies ca n’t be too bad , right ? Plus , [reviews]3944-reviews say [their]3940-an old - school theater near the angelica building that runs old movies popcorn is salty and makes [your]1901-you lips burn . That ’s [my]1901-you kind of popcorn . ”[1901-you] [I]0-i do love a salty popcorn , as well . Okay , let ’s do it , but [we]3945-we have to do something [you]1901-you want to do after . . . that ’s if [you]1901-you do n’t have plans . ”[0-i] [My]0-i plans consist of hanging out with [you]1901-you , [babe]2728-babe . ”[0-i] “ Okay . ”[0-i] [My]0-i smile grows even wider . “ Then what do [you]1901-you want to do after ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i watch [him]1901-you chew thoughtfully and then [he]1901-you says , “ A touristy thing . ”[1901-you] “ What ? Seriously ? But [I]1901-you thought that was beneath [you]1901-you ? ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you chuckles . “ Hate to admit it , but [your]1901-you touristy outing [we]3945-we had was entertaining . How about a nighttime tour of [Alcatraz]58-alcatraz ? ”[1901-you] [My]0-i eyes widen . “ That ’s way too creepy . ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you levels [me]0-i with a glare . “ Hey , [I]1901-you ’m going to the romcom marathon . And [you]1901-you said [we]3945-we could do anything [I]1901-you wanted , so [I]1901-you say [we]3945-we do that . ”[1901-you] “ As long as [you]1901-you have no problem with [me]87-jp burying [my]87-jp head in [your]1901-you chest the entire time . ”[87-jp] “ Trust [me]1901-you , [babe]2728-babe . No problem with that at all . ”[1901-you] [He]1901-you smirks and takes another bite of [his]1901-you food .

* * *

[Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]0-i can open [your]0-i eyes , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp whispers into [my]0-i ear as [I]0-i cling tightly to [his]87-jp arm . “ It ’s not like a monster is going to pop out . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp do n’t know that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper . [Babe]91-babe , open [your]0-i eyes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i open one eye and then the other , and [the main hall of [prison cells]1903-prison cells]1902-the main hall of prison cells comes into view . Because [JP]87-jp ca n’t do anything the “ peasant ”[87-jp] way , [he]87-jp booked [us]1904-us a behind - the - scenes tour , so [we]1904-us ’re alone with [a tour guide]1905-a tour guide , walking through [the eerie halls of [Alcatraz]58-alcatraz]1906-the eerie halls of alcatraz . [I]0-i would ’ve preferred [more people]1907-more people . “ See , not so bad , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . Still clinging to [him]87-jp , [I]0-i look around and say , [I]0-i honestly feel like [my]0-i skin is crawling . Is [your]87-jp skin crawling ? There are ghosts everywhere . ”[0-i] “ According to legend , ”[247-kathy] [Kathy]247-kathy , [[our]1904-us tour guide]1908-our tour guide , says , [Alcatraz]58-alcatraz is one of [the most haunted places in [the country]2865-the country]3948-the most haunted places in the country . ”[247-kathy] “ Oh . . . lovely , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , pressing [my]0-i body closer to [JP]87-jp . “ One of the most haunted , ca n’t hear that enough . ”[0-i] “ If [you]0-i want to take a closer look at [the prison cells]3950-the prison cells , please feel free , ”[247-kathy] [Kathy]247-kathy says , gesturing to the cold steel bars lined up against the wall as [she]247-kathy gives [us]1904-us some space . “ Can [we]1904-us get in one ? ”[247-kathy] “ Of course , ”[247-kathy] [Kathy]247-kathy says . “ Uh . . . are [you]87-jp insane ? [I]247-kathy am not getting in [one of [those cells]3952-those cells]3951-one of those cells . ”[247-kathy] “ Why not ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks . “ Once - in - a - lifetime opportunity . ”[87-jp] “ Never been in [a prison cell]3953-a prison cell , never plan on being in one . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp chuckles and pulls [me]0-i closer to [the cells]1909-the cells . [I]0-i let go of [his]87-jp arm as [he]87-jp steps inside one . “ Shit , these are small . [You]0-i ’d have to get creative with how to work with [this space]487-this space . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp grips the cell bars and asks , “ How do [I]87-jp look ? ”[87-jp] “ Deranged . ”[87-jp] A loud creaking sound echoes through [the dank halls]1910-the dank halls , and then in the blink of an eye , [JP]87-jp ’s cell door slides shut , causing [me]0-i to gasp and [JP]87-jp to let out the girliest scream [I]0-i ’ve ever heard . “ Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh . ”[87-jp] From down [the hall]705-the hall , [Kathy]247-kathy laughs , making [us]1912-us both turn toward [her]247-kathy . [She]247-kathy presses a button and [the cell]1913-the cell opens again . “ Jesus . . . fuck , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says as [he]87-jp steps out of [the cell]1913-the cell and glares at [Kathy]247-kathy . [I]87-jp did not pay for the scare factor . ”[87-jp] “ It ’s free of charge . ”[247-kathy] [She]247-kathy smiles . “ Fuck . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp walks up to [me]0-i and whispers , [My]87-jp scrotum has shriveled up into [my]87-jp stomach . Wo n’t have balls for days after that . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i cover [my]0-i mouth and chuckle . “ Still loving the idea of being here at night ? ”[0-i] “ Slightly rethinking . Did n’t know [Kathy]247-kathy from [Nightmare Alley]59-nightmare alley was going to be [[our]3955-our tour guide]1908-our tour guide . ”[247-kathy] [I]247-kathy ’m [here]2716-here all night , ”[247-kathy] [Kathy]247-kathy calls out , still smiling . [Jesus Christ]148-jesus christ , [she]247-kathy ’s in the right line of work . ”[247-kathy] [He]87-jp lets out a deep breath and then says , [I]87-jp was about to say , that would n’t be the first time [I]87-jp was behind bars . ”[87-jp] “ Umm . . . what ’s that now ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp lends out [his]87-jp arm to [me]0-i and [I]0-i hang on to it as [we]1915-we walk toward [[Satan]248-satan ’s mistress]1916-satan ’s mistress . [I]0-i was in [college]3958-college . Shortly after [[my]0-i dad]3922-my dad passed away . Public intoxication . Some bullshit thing like that . [I]0-i think [I]0-i peed on [some old lady]3960-some old lady ’s tree . [She]3960-some old lady called [the cops]3961-the cops and [I]0-i was arrested . [Huxley]90-huxley , of course , came flying in like the knight in shining armor that [he]87-jp is and had everything removed from [my]0-i record , and then threatened to remove [me]0-i from [school]3962-school if [I]0-i ever did something like that again . ”[0-i] “ Sounds . . . sad . Seems like [you]0-i needed [someone]364-someone to care for [you]0-i . [You]0-i were going through a rough time . ”[247-kathy] “ Yeah , alcohol cared for [me]0-i . [Alcohol]249-alcohol has always been there for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [You]87-jp realize how unhealthy that is ? ”[0-i] “ Yup , but never said [I]247-kathy was completely healthy . Working on it , though . One day at a time . ”[247-kathy] “ Shall [we]1917-we see [the shower room]3964-the shower room ? ”[247-kathy] [Kathy]247-kathy asks when [we]1917-we reach [her]247-kathy . “ Absolutely , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , leading the way . [We]1917-we spend the next hour listening to [Kathy]247-kathy tell [us]1917-we about [the many different inmates who attempted to escape]1918-the many different inmates who attempted to escape , how [they]1918-the many different inmates who attempted to escape escaped , and the outcome . Despite it being dark , creepy , and not something [I]0-i ’d probably ever choose to do on [my]0-i own , [I]0-i actually enjoyed [myself]0-i immensely . The stories were entertaining , the history unlike anything [I]0-i ’ve ever heard , and of course , listening to [JP]87-jp ask intense questions was fun , too . Now that [we]1917-we ’re on [the ferry ride]1919-the ferry ride back , sitting outside under the stars , [I]0-i have a million questions running through [my]0-i head . “ If [you]0-i were ever in [prison]3593-prison like [those guys]3966-those guys , would [you]0-i try to escape ? Or would [you]0-i just suffer in silence , doing what needed to be done in order to leave one day ? ”[0-i] “ Depends on the length of [my]87-jp sentence , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , draping [his]87-jp arm across the bench behind [me]0-i . “ If it was a long sentencing , hell yeah , [I]87-jp ’d try to escape . [I]87-jp ’d dig a hole like [the Anglin brothers]3967-the anglin brothers , [papier mâché some heads]3968-papier mâché some heads , and work until morning . But if it was like ten years . . . eh , [I]87-jp ’d wait it out . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i would not survive in [prison]3593-prison , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i do n’t have it in [me]0-i to be rough and tough . ”[0-i] “ Because [you]0-i ’re innocent , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says . [You]0-i ’re too sweet for [prison]3593-prison . [Me]87-jp , [I]87-jp could go either way . If [I]87-jp had to hold [my]87-jp own , [I]87-jp would . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp take it that means [you]87-jp ’ve been in [your]87-jp fair share of fistfights ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles . “ Not sure [I]87-jp ’ve heard [many people]1156-many people call them fistfights — just a fight — and yeah , [I]87-jp ’ve been in quite a few . Like [I]87-jp said , never really felt like [I]87-jp had a place in [this world]3428-this world , so [I]87-jp fought [my]87-jp way , trying to find something that mattered to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Have [you]87-jp found anything yet ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i feel [his]87-jp eyes on [me]0-i before [he]87-jp says , [I]87-jp ’ve found a few things . ”[87-jp] “ Like what ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]87-jp ’ve found [I]87-jp really like helping [people]2736-people and animals . [I]87-jp want to talk to [Huxley]90-huxley about making [the Angelica]3293-the angelica [a rent - controlled apartment building]3975-a rent - controlled apartment building . [You]0-i ’d have to fill out an application to live [there]2954-there , make less than a certain amount of money , and if [you]0-i ’re [a single parent]3977-a single parent , [you]0-i ’re higher on the list of getting a place . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i turn to [him]87-jp now . [JP]87-jp , that ’s an amazing idea , but [you]87-jp realize [you]87-jp ’d take a huge hit on income . [I]0-i ’m sure [you]87-jp know , [the renovations [we]3979-we have planned]3978-the renovations we have planned are n’t cheap . ”[0-i] “ Sure , [we]3979-we ’d take a hit , but [we]3979-we ’d also be able to write it off in [our]3979-we taxes , and sometimes , it ’s not always about the money . [I]87-jp like the idea of being able to help [people]2736-people out . [I]87-jp was thinking , if [Huxley]90-huxley says yes , maybe [we]3979-we could start a division in [the company]3158-the company , named after [the Angelica]3293-the angelica , that focuses on [low - income households that provides [them]3983-low - income households that provides them with not just a roof over their heads with not just a roof over [their]3983-low - income households that provides them with not just a roof over their heads heads]3983-low - income households that provides them with not just a roof over their heads , but a roof filled with opportunity . [We]3979-we donate a lot of money to [different charities and organizations]3984-different charities and organizations , but [I]87-jp ’d love to do something inhouse , something that focuses on helping [the people in [the cities where]3986-the cities where [we]3979-we make billions]3985-the people in the cities where we make billions . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp think it ’s a brilliant idea , [JP]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah ? ”[1920-i] [he]1920-i asks , looking insecure . [I]1920-i do . Is this something that would fulfill [you]87-jp ? [I]1920-i know [you]87-jp hate what [you]87-jp do now , so would this help with that ? ”[1920-i] [He]1920-i sifts [his]1920-i hand through [his]1920-i hair as [he]1920-i stares out over [the sea of black in front of [us]1922-us]1921-the sea of black in front of us . [I]1920-i really do . [I]1920-i ’d actually feel like [I]1920-i ’m doing something beneficial . And being the face of that , the face of collaboration — assisting [those who need that relief]3987-those who need that relief — now that ’s something [I]1920-i could be happy with . ”[1920-i] “ When are [you]1920-i going to approach [him]1920-i ? ”[1920-i] “ When [we]1922-us get back . [I]1920-i still have some things [I]1920-i have to map out and , of course , [I]1920-i need to hit up [Breaker]97-breaker for a numbers breakdown . [I]1920-i have a few questions about write - offs for [him]1920-i , as well . And then [I]1920-i ’ll write everything up , put it in a proposal , and deliver it to [him]1920-i . [I]1920-i know how [he]1920-i likes professional presentations , so [I]1920-i ’ll make sure it ’s delivered the way [he]1920-i likes it . ”[1920-i] “ What if [he]1920-i says no ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Then [he]1920-i ’s a total self - centered ass and [I]0-i ’d be set in stone on selling [my]0-i stock and finding a company or a passion in life that fulfills the need [I]0-i have . [I]0-i love [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers , and [I]0-i ’ve done everything [they]740-my brothers ’ve asked of [me]0-i , and now [I]0-i think it ’s time [they]740-my brothers step back and see what [I]0-i need . ”[0-i] “ Wow , [JP]87-jp , is it weird to say [I]1923-i ’m proud of [you]87-jp ? ”[1923-i] “ Nah , not sure [I]0-i hear that often , so it ’s nice . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean against [his]1923-i chest and say , “ Well , [I]0-i ’m proud of [you]1923-i . ”[0-i] “ Thanks , [babe]2728-babe . ”[1923-i]

* * *

[JP]87-jp : Where are [you]1924-you right now ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Just finished up a meeting with [Regis]180-regis . [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [he]180-regis sneered at [me]0-i twice but covered it up with an eye twitch . It was entertaining . [JP]87-jp : Did [he]180-regis give [you]1924-you shit ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : No . [He]180-regis was pleasant and agreeable . [JP]87-jp : [Smart man]1925-smart man . Well , [I]0-i ’m on [my]0-i way to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse . Just got done with an interview with The Gazette . [I]0-i was going to pick up some Pho . Want some ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [You]87-jp do n’t mind ? [JP]87-jp : Why would [I]0-i ask ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : True . Yes , please . Sounds amazing . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i just get the original . Do [you]1924-you want the same ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Yes , that works . [I]0-i ’m headed back soon . Should [I]0-i pick [us]1927-we up dessert ? [JP]87-jp : What did [you]1924-you have in mind ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : It ’s going to be a surprise . [JP]87-jp : Why am [I]0-i worried ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Because , although innocent in [your]1924-you eyes , [I]0-i ’m still a wild card . [JP]87-jp : Very true .

* * *

[I]0-i dab [my]0-i mouth with a napkin and set [my]0-i container on the coffee table . When [JP]87-jp arrived , [we]1927-we both changed out of [our]1927-we business clothes . [He]87-jp changed into a pair of shorts and nothing else — shocker — and [I]0-i put on a pair of shorts and a simple T - shirt . [I]0-i also washed off [my]0-i makeup and threw [my]0-i hair into a clip to keep it out of [my]0-i face while [I]0-i slurped up noodles . [We]1927-we decided to turn on [The Office]548-the office for background noise while [we]1927-we ate and talked . [I]0-i found out that [Dwight]250-dwight is [JP]87-jp ’s favorite character , [Michael]251-michael being a close second . And [I]0-i , of course , being the romantic , said [Jim]252-jim and [Pam]253-pam are [my]0-i all - time favorites . [JP]87-jp just rolled [his]87-jp eyes at that . Also found out [JP]87-jp would “ bang ”[87-jp] [Jan]254-jan easily , have a drunken night with [Meredith]255-meredith , and cuddle up to [Phyllis]256-phyllis on a cozy night . [I]0-i admitted to having a slight thing for [Ryan]112-meg ryan , and possibly interested in a wild night with [Robert California]257-robert california , which of course grossed out [JP]87-jp and ended the conversation . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever had Pho before , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i ’ve always heard about it and wanted to try it . [I]0-i hate that [I]0-i ’ve waited this long . It was so good . Thank [you]87-jp for bringing it [home]2941-home . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp , who was done about ten minutes ago , leans [his]87-jp head against [his]87-jp propped - up hand and asks , “ What ’s [your]87-jp favorite cuisine ? ”[87-jp] “ Mexican . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp nods . “ Fuck , [I]87-jp could ’ve guessed that . Those tamales [[your]87-jp mom]3567-your mom makes are fucking killer . And [her]3567-your mom homemade refried beans . Hell , [I]87-jp ’d do anything [[your]87-jp mom]3567-your mom wanted for them right now . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i smile . [I]0-i know how to make them , and it ’s been said that [I]0-i make them better than [[my]0-i mom]1250-my mom . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp ’s eyes narrow . “ Says who ? ”[87-jp] [[My]0-i mom]1250-my mom . ”[0-i] “ Okay , so what do [I]87-jp have to do to get [you]87-jp to make [me]87-jp some ? ”[87-jp] “ How about this — if [you]87-jp ’re not doing anything tomorrow night , [we]3995-we can make them together . ”[87-jp] When [he]87-jp does n’t answer right away , [I]0-i ask , “ Oh . . . do [you]87-jp have something going on tomorrow ? [I]0-i should n’t have assumed . [You]87-jp have been spending quite some time with [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , chill . [I]87-jp ’d love to make some tamales with [you]87-jp . [I]87-jp was just thinking about a meeting [I]87-jp have at four , but it should n’t take long . Should [we]3995-we start at six ? ”[87-jp] “ That would be perfect . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i can pick up the ingredients if [you]87-jp want . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No , that ’s okay . [I]87-jp ’m particular about brands . Trust [me]87-jp , it makes a difference . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp holds up [his]87-jp hand . “ Do n’t want to get in the way of [the chef]2906-the chef . Just let [me]87-jp know how much [I]87-jp owe [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp , do [you]87-jp really think [I]87-jp ’ll take [your]87-jp money ? ”[87-jp] “ No . . . should [I]0-i grab dessert ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i smirk . [I]0-i think [we]3997-we ’re starting a trend . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , one that ’s killing [my]87-jp six - pack . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp pats [his]87-jp stomach . [Doubtful]258-doubtful . [You]87-jp still get up early and work out . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i point at [his]87-jp stomach . “ Let [me]0-i see . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp slouches in [his]87-jp seat and puffs [his]87-jp stomach out , making a poor attempt at a gut . It ’s poor because [I]0-i can still see the outline of [his]87-jp abs . “ Stop that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i poke [his]87-jp belly . “ Do n’t play with [my]0-i gut . [I]0-i ’m sensitive . ”[0-i] “ Oh [my]0-i God , that ’s not a gut . [I]0-i can still clearly see [your]87-jp abs . Nice try . ”[0-i] “ Well , if [I]0-i keep it up , [no woman]3998-no woman will want to see [me]0-i naked . ”[0-i] That makes [me]0-i actually laugh out loud . “ Once again , doubtful . [I]87-jp ’ve , uh . . . seen enough to know that [any woman]614-any woman would want to see [you]87-jp naked . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp brows raise in surprise . [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey . . . tell [me]87-jp more . ”[87-jp] “ Oh , Jesus . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes . “ This is why [I]0-i hesitate to compliment [you]87-jp . [I]0-i knew this was going to happen . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp scoots closer and wiggles [his]87-jp brows . “ Were [you]0-i impressed with [my]87-jp body ? How about [my]87-jp penis ? Did [you]0-i like the old log between the legs ? ”[87-jp] “ Eww , who says that ? ”[87-jp] “ Who says eww when referring to [a man]2703-a man ’s prized possession ? ”[87-jp] “ Someone who ’s responding to [a person who ’s being obnoxious]4001-a person who ’s being obnoxious , which is [you]0-i . [Your]0-i penis is n’t a log , it ’s . . . a regular penis . ”[87-jp] That makes [his]87-jp face fall in disbelief . “ A regular penis ? [You]0-i think [I]87-jp have just a regular penis ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , yeah . [I]87-jp mean , it does n’t have any adornments and , sure , it ’s well kept , but there ’s nothing super special about it . ”[87-jp] “ Um . . . not to sound like [a fucking voyeur here]4002-a fucking voyeur here , but [I]87-jp ’ve been in [enough gym locker rooms]4003-enough gym locker rooms to know [my]87-jp penis is n’t regular . Just because it ’s not pierced does n’t make it ho - hum . There ’s a lot to [my]87-jp penis that [you]0-i do n’t know about . And the length and girth alone are probably better than anything [you]0-i ’ve had . ”[87-jp] “ How do [you]87-jp know the kind of penis [I]0-i ’ve had in [my]0-i life ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i challenge [him]87-jp , humor in [my]0-i voice . “ Given how innocent [you]87-jp are , most likely those penises have been regular . [Mine]87-jp is anything but regular . ”[0-i] “ Said [every man]4004-every man ever . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp eyes grow dark and all humor fades from [his]87-jp face . “ Do [I]87-jp need to take [my]87-jp cock out right now ? ”[87-jp] “ No , that ’s okay . [I]0-i can still remember how it felt when [you]87-jp sat on [my]0-i face . Very . . . fleshy . ”[0-i] “ That ’s because it is fleshy . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp always thought penises were supposed to be soft like velvet , [you]87-jp know ? [I]87-jp did n’t get that from [you]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Where the fuck did [you]87-jp hear that ? And what cocks are [you]87-jp hanging out with that are velvet ? ”[0-i] “ Ones in romance novels . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp snorts . “ If a cock is velvet to the touch , then [the man]355-the man fucking glue - gunned some fabric to [his]355-the man manhood . [Dicks]259-dicks are flesh , and when they ’re hard , they ’re stiff and veiny . [I]87-jp ’m sure [you]0-i can recall [my]87-jp hard cock . [You]0-i came in [your]0-i lingerie , after all . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp gives [me]0-i a pointed look and [I]0-i can feel [my]0-i cheeks heat up . Walked right into that one . [I]87-jp came because of the work [I]87-jp put in . ”[87-jp] “ Bullshit , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says . [You]0-i came because of the moment [you]0-i were in . ”[87-jp] “ Possibly , but [we]4006-we ca n’t ever be sure now , can [we]4006-we ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp know for sure . [You]0-i would n’t have come like that if [I]87-jp was n’t there , egging [you]0-i on , telling [you]0-i how to touch [yourself]0-i , grabbing [my]87-jp cock and enticing [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i just shrug , because [I]0-i know [he]87-jp ’s right , but [I]0-i like pushing [his]87-jp buttons . “ Do [I]0-i need to show [you]87-jp again ? Because [I]0-i will . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp know [you]87-jp will , and it ’s really not necessary . How did [we]4007-we even get on this topic ? Were n’t [we]4007-we talking about dessert for tomorrow ? Let ’s get back to that . [I]87-jp think it would be lovely if [you]87-jp picked up dessert . ”[87-jp] “ Who says [I]0-i need to pick it up . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [my]0-i palm to [his]87-jp face and push [him]87-jp away . “ It ’s either dessert [we]4007-we can eat , or no dessert at all . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp can eat [my]87-jp dessert . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wets [his]87-jp lips . Oh hell . “ Stop it . [You]87-jp ’re making [me]87-jp — ”[87-jp] “ Aroused ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp waggles [his]87-jp brows at [me]0-i . Yes . “ No . [You]87-jp ’re just . . . [you]87-jp ’re making it weird . And [I]87-jp do n’t want it to be weird between [us]4007-we . ”[87-jp] “ There ’s nothing weird about this conversation . [Friends]2684-friends can talk about this stuff . Go ahead , tell [me]87-jp [the craziest place [you]87-jp ’ve ever had sex]4009-the craziest place you ’ve ever had sex . ”[87-jp] “ Why ? So [you]87-jp can just say how vanilla [I]87-jp am ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp never said [you]87-jp were vanilla . [I]87-jp said [you]87-jp were innocent . There ’s a difference . [A vanilla person]4010-a vanilla person never would ’ve masturbated in front of [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] Once again , [my]0-i cheeks heat up . “ Well , that was — God , [I]87-jp hate what [I]87-jp ’m about to say . ”[87-jp] “ Just say it . [We]4011-we ’re [buddies]4012-buddies now , right ? ”[87-jp] [His]1929-he one eyebrow raises in question . [I]1929-he guess [we]4011-we are . ”[1929-he] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i teeth over the corner of [my]0-i lip before [I]0-i say , “ Well , it was n’t sex , but what [we]4011-we did was probably [my]0-i most provocative experience . Which , [I]0-i still do n’t understand how that all happened , and [I]0-i do n’t care to hash it out . But , yeah , everything else has been pretty bland in bed . Nothing more than that . ”[0-i] “ Shame , ”[1929-he] [he]1929-he says . “ If [you]87-jp were [mine]0-i , [we]4011-we would n’t just fuck in the bed . ”[1929-he] “ Oh . . . [I]0-i ’m sure [you]87-jp have a giant list of odd places [you]87-jp ’ve , uh , [you]87-jp ’ve had sex . So , instead , [I]0-i ’m going to ask , what was [[your]87-jp favorite place]4013-your favorite place ? ”[0-i] [Hot tub]4014-hot tub , ”[1929-he] [he]1929-he says without even giving it a second thought . “ Fucking in [the hot tub]4015-the hot tub . Christ , [I]1929-he love it . ”[1929-he] “ Really ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ It does n’t get all watery and weird ? ”[0-i] “ No . ”[1929-he] [He]1929-he shakes [his]1929-he head . “ There ’s something about [a naked woman in the hot tub]4016-a naked woman in the hot tub , fucking [her]4016-a naked woman in the hot tub from behind . . . yeah , [I]1929-he love it . ”[1929-he] “ Oh . ”[0-i] [I]0-i clear [my]0-i throat . “ And , uh , how many times have [you]1929-he done this ? ”[0-i] “ Not nearly enough and not with [the right person]3502-the right person yet . ”[0-i] “ How do [you]1929-he know it ’s not [the right person]3502-the right person ? Clearly , [you]1929-he ’ve enjoyed it . ”[1929-he] “ Because [I]0-i know there could be so much more intimacy involved . [I]0-i ’ve had just random fucks , but with the right ambiance , with the correct amount of foreplay , [I]0-i know it could be explosive . ”[0-i] * Gulp * Yeah . . . [I]0-i could see that . “ What about [you]0-i ? ”[1929-he] [he]1929-he asks . “ Do [you]0-i have an ideal situation planned in [your]0-i head where [you]0-i ’d have the best sex of [your]0-i life ? ”[1929-he] “ Not really . [I]1929-he just know that when [I]1929-he find [the right person]3502-the right person , everything will just click and [I]1929-he wo n’t have to try . [I]1929-he wo n’t have to imagine these romantic situations , but rather just live in the moment and let them happen . ”[1929-he] “ And [you]1929-he have n’t had that yet ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No . For [a girl who ’s obsessed with love]4020-a girl who ’s obsessed with love , it ’s sad how [my]0-i love life has turned out . ”[0-i] “ Not sad , [you]0-i ’re just not settling , and [I]1929-he think that ’s smart . [You]0-i will find [the right person]3502-the right person . ”[1929-he] [He]1929-he tips [my]0-i chin with [his]1929-he forefinger . “ But in the meantime , unleash the secret [you]0-i ’ve been holding all night . What ’s this dessert [you]0-i got [us]4022-us that [you]0-i wo n’t tell [me]1929-he about ? ”[1929-he] Anticipating [his]1929-he reaction , [I]0-i ca n’t hide [my]0-i smile as [I]0-i get up from the couch and retrieve the bakery box from the fridge . “ Should [I]1929-he be scared by that smile ? ”[1929-he] [he]1929-he asks when [I]0-i sit back down across from [him]1929-he . “ Possibly . ”[0-i] [I]0-i flip open the box and reveal the two dollar - sized penis cookies on a popsicle stick . [I]0-i bought [us]4023-us penis cookies , covered in white and dark chocolate . ”[0-i] [I]0-i look up at [him]1929-he and wait , grinning like [an idiot]3099-an idiot . The corner of [his]1929-he mouth ticks up , and then [he]1929-he smiles . [He]1929-he picks up the white chocolate cookie and examines it , twisting it from one side to the other . [I]1929-he ’ve never had a dick in [my]1929-he mouth , but there ’s always time to change that . ”[1929-he] Then [he]1929-he takes a large bite and chews . “ Hell , this penis is good . ”[1929-he] [I]0-i snort so hard [I]0-i feel droplets of snot come out of [my]0-i nose . Attractive , [Kelsey]86-kelsey . “ And so lifelike . ”[1929-he] [He]1929-he examines the cookie again . “ Now this , [Kelsey]86-kelsey , this would be average . [[Your]0-i boy]4024-your boy . . . not so much . ”[1929-he] Then [he]1929-he takes another bite and [I]0-i ca n’t help but think [he]1929-he ’s so freaking right .

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[JP]87-jp : Do [you]86-kelsey hear that ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Is [someone]364-someone having sex ? [I]0-i thought [the other people on this floor]1932-the other people on this floor are across the way . [JP]87-jp : [They]1932-the other people on this floor are . It ’s not [them]1932-the other people on this floor . It ’s below [us]1933-us . [I]0-i just looked . [People]2736-people are fucking on [the balcony]1935-the balcony . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Seriously ? Where [everyone]2734-everyone can see [them]1932-the other people on this floor ? [JP]87-jp : [LOL]60-lol . Oh , [Kelsey]86-kelsey . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : What ? That ’s concerning , do n’t [you]87-jp think ? “ Caught with [your]87-jp pants down ”[87-jp] is a real term . [JP]87-jp : But that ’s the excitement of it all , getting caught . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Let [me]0-i guess — having sex on [a balcony]1937-a balcony is n’t something new to [you]86-kelsey . [JP]87-jp : Not so much . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Shocking . JP : Are [you]86-kelsey saying [I]0-i ’m a bit of [a man - whore]1938-a man - whore ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : [I]0-i do n’t think [we]1939-we need to label [our]1939-we sex lives . [You]87-jp just have a more frequent one . [JP]87-jp : Very . Want [me]0-i to teach [you]86-kelsey a thing or two ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : How did [I]0-i know [you]87-jp were going to suggest that ? [JP]87-jp : Because [I]0-i ’m becoming [a good friend]1940-a good friend and [you]86-kelsey know [me]0-i inside and out . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Sort of . Hell , [I]0-i think [I]0-i talk to [you]87-jp more than [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister now . Granted , [she]414-my sister ’s been busy with the wedding . [JP]87-jp : Do [you]86-kelsey have [any other friends]1942-any other friends ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Yeah , [a few girlfriends]1943-a few girlfriends , but unfortunately , [we]1944-we ’ve slowly grown apart because of [my]0-i business . The hustle does n’t allow for [many friends]1945-many friends . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i get it . Well , [you]86-kelsey have [me]0-i now . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : [I]0-i do . And [I]0-i ’m grateful for that . [JP]87-jp : So . . . do [you]86-kelsey want to sit out on [the balcony]1935-the balcony and listen to [the fuckers]1947-the fuckers ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : . . . good night , [JONAH]201-jonah ! [JP]87-jp : Ooo , say [my]0-i name again . [I]0-i like it . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : * Sigh *

* * *

[Kelsey]86-kelsey : Thank [you]87-jp for the mid - morning smoothie delivery . How did [you]87-jp know [I]0-i needed this more than anything right now ? [JP]87-jp : Caught a glimpse of [you]86-kelsey when [I]0-i was walking through the Angelica with [Huxley]90-huxley on FaceTime . Had it delivered right away . [You]86-kelsey look tired , [babe]2728-babe . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : [The fuckers]1947-the fuckers were really going at it last night . [JP]87-jp : Is that really what was keeping [you]86-kelsey up last night ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : [My]0-i mind was racing , thinking about all things business . [You]87-jp know how it goes . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i do . If [you]86-kelsey want , [we]1950-we can skip the dinner tonight and just hang , or do something else . Not sure what [you]86-kelsey like to do to decompress . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : No , [I]0-i still want to make dinner , unless [you]87-jp do n’t want to . [JP]87-jp : [Babe]91-babe , if [I]0-i get to spend time with [you]91-babe , [I]0-i do n’t care what [we]1950-we do . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : Well , okay then . . . [JP]87-jp : Was that a weird comment ? [Kelsey]86-kelsey : It was unexpected . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i just feel [my]0-i best around [you]91-babe . Sorry if that ’s weird , but it ’s true . [Kelsey]86-kelsey : It ’s not weird . Makes [me]0-i feel like [I]0-i mean something . [JP]87-jp : [You]91-babe do , [babe]2728-babe . [You]91-babe mean a lot .

* * *

“ Okay , now add the ice , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , as [my]0-i hands are wrist - deep in the masa . “ Sure , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , while working around [me]0-i . The pork has been cooked , [I]0-i cheated and put it in the crockpot this afternoon , and [we]1950-we already prepared the sauce . [I]0-i thought it was cute when [JP]87-jp was in awe over the dehydrated peppers and how [we]1950-we rehydrated them and then blended them up . “ And from here , [we]1950-we mix for about ten to fifteen minutes with [our]1950-we hands . ”[87-jp] “ Oh , shit , really ? ”[87-jp] “ Yup . ”[87-jp] “ Okay . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp maneuvers around and awkwardly stands next to [me]0-i , but ca n’t quite get the right angle until [he]87-jp finally mutters , “ Fuck it , ”[87-jp] and stands behind [me]0-i . [He]87-jp reaches around [my]0-i arms and puts [his]87-jp hand in the bowl , [his]87-jp head right next to [mine]0-i . “ Is this okay ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp chest is plastered against [my]0-i back and the rough scruff of [his]87-jp cheek is rubbing against [mine]0-i , driving [my]0-i internal temperature up another ten degrees . But [I]0-i ’m not going to make a big deal about it so [I]0-i nod . “ That ’s fine . As long as [you]0-i ’re comfortable . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp ’m good , [babe]2728-babe . What perfume do [you]0-i wear , by the way ? Fucking kills [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Dolce and Gabbana , Light Blue . ”[87-jp] “ Hell , it smells good . Not that [I]0-i should be saying that while standing next to [you]0-i like this , but it smells really fucking good . ”[0-i] “ Thank [you]87-jp , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as the hairs on the back of [my]0-i neck stand at attention . The last few days have been . . . comforting . Spending all this time with [JP]87-jp makes [me]0-i realize that [he]87-jp truly is [a good guy]1373-a good guy . When [his]87-jp mind is clear , when [he]87-jp ’s happy , [he]87-jp ’s so open and honest and a good time . [He]87-jp jokes around — like [he]87-jp used to — and [I]0-i hate to say this , but [he]87-jp sort of makes [me]0-i feel alive . Like a part of [me]0-i has been missing and [he]87-jp ’s woken it up . [I]0-i feel excited to see [him]87-jp , thrilled to get a text from [him]87-jp , and count down the minutes until [our]1953-our next planned non - date . Within a very short amount of time , [he]87-jp ’s become [one of [[my]0-i best friends]1955-my best friends]1954-one of my best friends . Never would ’ve expected that . “ This is kind of fun . [I]0-i feel like [a cat , massaging a gut]4026-a cat , massaging a gut . ”[0-i] [My]0-i hands pause as [I]0-i turn just slightly to look at [him]87-jp . “ What kind of analogy is that ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i know . . . how cats paw at things . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp replicates a massaging motion . “ That ’s what this feels like . Did [you]0-i not have a cat growing up ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i did n’t . ”[0-i] “ Ah , [you]0-i missed out , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , leaning in against [me]0-i even more . “ Shame . [You]0-i never experienced a sandpaper tongue on the back of [your]0-i hand . Or the feel of a cat ’s claw seeping through the threads of [your]0-i clothing , straight into [your]0-i flesh . Or the absolute pleasure of sifting shit out of a litter box . ”[87-jp] “ Yes , an absolute shame , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say sarcastically . “ What was [your]87-jp cat ’s name ? ”[0-i] [Huxley]90-huxley and [I]87-jp called [her]4027-her [Cat]260-cat , because [we]4028-we did n’t have any feelings toward [her]4027-her . [She]4027-her was more of [an annoying asshole]4029-an annoying asshole than anything . Always clawed the shit out of [us]4028-we . But [Breaker]97-breaker was best friends with the cat . [Her]4027-her name was technically [Jiggles]261-jiggles . Have [you]87-jp ever watched [New Girl]4030-new girl ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes , love that show . ”[0-i] “ Well , think of [Winston]139-kelsey and [his]97-breaker cat . That was [Breaker]97-breaker and [Jiggles]261-jiggles . ”[1956-our] [Our]1956-our hands collide in the bowl , and instead of pulling away or moving , [I]0-i just let [our]1956-our fingers tangle through the masa mixture . [I]0-i like it . [I]0-i should n’t , but [I]0-i do . [I]87-jp ca n’t see it . [Breaker]97-breaker seems so cool and calm . [I]87-jp ca n’t see [him]97-breaker fussing over a cat . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp chuckles . [Man]3096-man , does [he]97-breaker have [you]3096-man fooled . Sure , [he]97-breaker ’s cool and calm , but [he]97-breaker ’s [the biggest nerd]4032-the biggest nerd . Loves data , has autographs from [every cast member of [The Lord of the Rings]4034-the lord of the rings]4033-every cast member of the lord of the rings , and [he]97-breaker has been known to dress up a time or two as [a calculator for Halloween]4035-a calculator for halloween . ”[87-jp] “ What ? No way . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ That ca n’t be true . ”[0-i] “ Trust [me]87-jp , [babe]2728-babe , [he]97-breaker ’s [a nerd]894-a nerd . [He]97-breaker has a computer at [[his]97-breaker place]1089-his place that [he]97-breaker built on [his]97-breaker own . ”[87-jp] “ Gah , like [Henry Cavill]262-henry cavill ? ”[87-jp] “ What ? ”[1957-he] [he]1957-he asks , confused . [Henry Cavill]262-henry cavill , [he]262-henry cavill built [his]262-henry cavill own computer and recorded the whole thing . It was hot . ”[1957-he] “ Wow . . . man , am [I]87-jp missing the mark on what [women]2683-women find attractive these days . ”[87-jp] “ Then again , [Henry]262-henry cavill is such a dreamboat . The chin dimple , the seductive eyes , the unbelievable muscles . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i know , [some people]3093-some people have said that [I]87-jp look like a tattooed [Henry Cavill]262-henry cavill . ”[87-jp] [Who on earth]4041-who on earth said that ? Someone in [your]0-i dreams ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle at [my]0-i joke . “ Funny . No , it was [a girl [I]0-i met at a baseball game]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game . ”[0-i] “ Uh - huh . And let [me]87-jp guess — [she]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game asked for [your]0-i autograph and then was extremely embarrassed that [she]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game thought [you]0-i were [someone else]2834-someone else , [she]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game apologized profusely , [you]0-i consoled [her]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game , bought [her]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game a drink , and then took [her]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game [home]2941-home that night . Was [she]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game [one of [the hot - tub girls]4046-the hot - tub girls]4045-one of the hot - tub girls ? ”[87-jp] “ No , ”[1958-he] [he]1958-he drags out . “ But the rest of that story is scarily accurate . ”[1958-he] “ Figured . When [I]87-jp was in college , there was this wave of girls who would pull that trick on [guys]4047-guys all the time to get free drinks and an easy lay . ”[87-jp] [Any guy]4048-any guy is [an easy lay]4049-an easy lay . ”[1958-he] “ It was a pickup move . [She]4042-a girl i met at a baseball game played [you]0-i . ”[1958-he] “ Whatever , play [me]87-jp all [you]0-i want . [I]87-jp had sex that night . ”[87-jp] “ As if it ’s hard for [you]0-i to find [someone]364-someone to have sex with [you]0-i . ”[1958-he] [You]0-i ’ve been difficult , ”[1958-he] [he]1958-he says , [his]1958-he voice practically caressing [my]0-i skin . Once again , those goosebumps spread . “ But , then again , [you]0-i friend - zoned [me]1958-he from the beginning , so there was no chance . ”[1958-he] [You]0-i were off limits . [I]1958-he did n’t have a choice but to friend - zone [you]0-i . ”[1958-he] [He]1958-he pauses , [his]1958-he rough cheek moving across [mine]0-i as [his]1958-he hands sink deeper into the mixture . “ Why was [I]1958-he off limits ? ”[1958-he] [His]1958-he lips nearly move against [my]0-i cheek ; [I]0-i can feel them , they ’re so close . Just a feather of a whisper away . And it ’s frustrating because [I]0-i should n’t want [his]1958-he lips near [me]0-i , [I]0-i should n’t be comfortable with [him]1958-he wrapped around [me]0-i , [I]0-i should n’t wait impatiently for [him]1958-he to call [me]0-i babe , but here [I]0-i am , waiting with bated breath for [his]1958-he next move . “ Because [you]0-i ’re [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s brother]4051-huxley ’s brother . Because [[my]0-i company]1110-my company falls under [your]0-i management . Because [I]0-i knew [you]0-i were in a different frame of mind than [I]0-i am . ”[0-i] “ And if those were n’t factors , then what , [Kelsey]139-kelsey ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i swallow hard . [My]0-i hands have slowed , barely mixing , and [my]0-i heart pounds so loudly , it sounds deafening in [my]0-i ears . [His]1958-he cologne surrounds [me]0-i . [His]1958-he voice rumbles across [my]0-i skin . [He]1958-he ’s deliciously trapped [me]0-i between [him]1958-he and the counter . This is everything [I]0-i could dream up for a romantic moment , and yet , [the man who ’s making [me]0-i feel]1959-the man who ’s making me feel , [the man who ’s turning [me]0-i into a pool of yearning . . . is supposed to be [[my]0-i friend]1063-my friend]1960-the man who ’s turning me into a pool of yearning . . . is supposed to be my friend . [He]1958-he ’s not supposed to be the one who makes [my]0-i heart beat faster . “ Hell , [I]1958-he do n’t know why [I]1958-he asked that , ”[1958-he] [he]1958-he says , when [he]1958-he pulls [his]1958-he hands from the bowl , mistaking [my]0-i silence for discomfort . [You]0-i have [your]0-i reasons , and it ’s great that [we]4053-we have this . [You]0-i and [me]1958-he , [friends]2684-friends . It ’s been easy . ”[1958-he] [I]0-i do n’t turn toward [him]1958-he . [I]0-i ca n’t . [I]0-i ca n’t let [him]1958-he see the way [he]1958-he affects [me]0-i . [I]0-i ca n’t let [him]1958-he hear the thick breaths [I]0-i ’m taking , attempting to find that easy rhythm again . And [I]0-i ca n’t let [him]1958-he see how [my]0-i hands are clawing at the masa , begging and pleading for [him]1958-he to come back . “ What can [I]1958-he do to prepare for the next step ? ”[1958-he] [he]1958-he asks . [I]0-i take a deep , steadying breath and slow [my]0-i racing heartbeat . [You]0-i can lay out the husks and grab that spatula . [We]4055-we ’re going to start spreading the masa on them . ”[0-i] [You]0-i got it , [babe]2728-babe . ”[0-i] [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut . Keep it together , [Kelsey]139-kelsey .

* * *

“ Eating out on [the balcony]1935-the balcony was a great idea , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i sip the homemade virgin margarita [JP]87-jp surprised [me]0-i with . [Virgin]263-virgin , because [he]1958-he said [he]1958-he was backing off on drinking . [He]1958-he did n’t elaborate on [his]1958-he decision , but [I]0-i could see that it was a well - thought - out one and [I]0-i support [him]1958-he completely . “ But [I]0-i ca n’t help but wonder , ”[0-i] [I]0-i continue . “ Were [you]1958-he hoping for an encore from [the fuckers]1947-the fuckers ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i mean . . . a little dinner and a show would ’ve been nice . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . “ Not sure how great of a show that would ’ve been . ”[0-i] “ It would ’ve been entertaining , that ’s for sure . But this is nice , the peaceful night , faint sounds from [the streets below]4059-the streets below , the occasional whip of the wind , amazing food . . . it ’s been a great night , [Kelse]96-kelse . ”[1958-he] [He]1958-he rubs [his]1958-he stomach . “ Not sure [I]1958-he have room for [my]1958-he dessert . ”[1958-he] [Me]0-i neither . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back in [my]0-i chair . [I]0-i ’m grateful for the elastic in [my]0-i shorts . Is that an unflattering thing to say ? ”[0-i] “ Not even a little . ”[1958-he] [He]1958-he snaps the waistband of [his]1958-he shorts . [I]1958-he ’m just grateful [we]4060-we cleaned up while the tamales were steaming . ”[1958-he] [Me]0-i too . ”[0-i] [I]0-i let out a low whistle . [I]0-i ca n’t believe [we]4060-we only have two more nights here . [I]0-i feel sad about it . [I]0-i ’ve grown accustomed to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse and [this city]3320-this city . ”[0-i] “ What about [the company]3158-the company ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , taking a sip of [his]87-jp margarita . “ That too . Going back to [[my]87-jp tiny studio apartment]1079-my tiny studio apartment will feel so lonely . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i can always move into [[my]87-jp place]3926-my place . [Plenty of room]4066-plenty of room . Comes with access to [an elaborate pool]4067-an elaborate pool . . . and a hot tub . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wiggles [his]87-jp eyebrows , causing [me]0-i to laugh . “ Tempting , but [I]87-jp ’m sure [you]0-i ’re ready to have [your]0-i life back . ”[87-jp] “ What do [you]0-i mean by that ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . [You]0-i know , getting out and about , not always having to hang out with [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp looks [me]0-i in the eyes when [he]87-jp says , [I]87-jp do n’t have to hang out with [you]0-i , [Kelsey]139-kelsey . [I]87-jp want to hang out with [you]0-i . [I]87-jp choose to . ”[87-jp] A smile tugs across [my]0-i lips and [I]0-i look away , hating that [his]87-jp words shoot a thrill up [my]0-i spine . “ Same , [Jonah]201-jonah , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , testing out [his]87-jp name . When [I]0-i glance in [his]87-jp direction , [his]87-jp expression is of total awe . [I]0-i wince . [I]0-i mean , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . “ Call [me]87-jp what [you]0-i want . [I]87-jp like both . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp like [your]0-i real name . [I]87-jp think it fits [you]0-i — at least , this side of [you]0-i . [JP]87-jp is more of [the partying playboy guy]4068-the partying playboy guy . But [the man [I]87-jp ’ve been hanging out with]4069-the man i ’ve been hanging out with lately , [he]4069-the man i ’ve been hanging out with ’s [Jonah]201-jonah . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp looks up at [me]0-i shyly . [I]87-jp fucking like that a lot . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ’m glad . ”[0-i] [I]0-i gather [our]1962-our plates and say , “ It ’ll be weird , though , going back to [my]0-i normal life . [I]0-i really enjoyed [my]0-i time [here]2716-here . ”[0-i] [I]87-jp ’m sure [you]0-i ’ll be back . [We]1962-our ’re just starting on [the Angelica Building]3284-the angelica building , and [Huxley]90-huxley is going to want [you]0-i to oversee things . This wo n’t be the last time [you]0-i ’re [here]2716-here . ”[87-jp] “ Good . [I]1963-i have so many more dessert places to try . [I]1963-i should start a dessert Instagram . [I]1963-i could call it Mint to Be , like a play on words with [my]1963-i podcast . ”[1963-i] “ Or [you]0-i could call it Lick [Me]0-i Till Ice Cream . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes level with [his]1963-i playful ones . “ That was a [JP]87-jp comment . ”[0-i] “ Try all [you]0-i want . [You]0-i ca n’t knock that out of [me]1963-i . ”[1963-i] [He]1963-i winks and stands with [me]0-i . [I]0-i grab the plates and [he]1963-i grabs the rest of the tamales and refried beans [we]1964-we did n’t eat . [I]0-i would n’t want [you]1963-i to change . [I]0-i like [you]1963-i as [you]1963-i are , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say while [we]1964-we walk back into [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse and head toward [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . “ Ooo , what movie is that from ? [I]0-i feel like [some girl]4073-some girl made [me]0-i watch it . ”[0-i] [Bridget Jones]264-bridget jones , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [He]1963-i snaps . “ That ’s right . [I]1963-i recall [Bridget]264-bridget jones wandering around onscreen in short skirts , correct ? ”[1963-i] “ Of course that ’s the part [you]0-i remember . ”[1963-i] [He]1963-i just shrugs , and together [we]1964-we put away the food and fill the dishwasher with the rest of [our]1964-we dishes . When [we]1964-we ’re done , [I]0-i lean against the counter and fold [my]0-i arms over [my]0-i chest . [I]0-i had fun tonight . [You]1963-i ’re pretty helpful in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . ”[0-i] [I]1963-i make a thing or two . ”[1963-i] “ Well , [I]1963-i should get to bed , where [I]1963-i can shamelessly avoid any stretchy elastic around [my]1963-i waist so [I]1963-i can better breathe through the tamales [I]1963-i consumed . ”[1963-i] [Babe]91-babe , save the dirty talk for [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle and move past [him]1963-i . “ Good night . . . [Jonah]201-jonah . ”[0-i] “ Hey , ”[1963-i] [he]1963-i calls out , causing [me]0-i to spin around . [I]1963-i have something for [you]0-i . ”[1963-i] “ Please do n’t tell [me]0-i it ’s [your]0-i penis or something deranged like that . ”[0-i] “ First of all , [my]0-i penis is n’t deranged , it ’s regular . . . remember ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . “ And no , [I]0-i actually have a physical thing for [you]0-i . ”[0-i] [He]1963-i walks toward [his]1963-i suit jacket , which is draped on the back of a dining room chair , and reaches into the inside pocket . [He]1963-i pulls out a small bag and hands it to [me]0-i . [I]1963-i saw this and thought of [you]0-i . ”[1963-i] “ Oh , it is a real thing ? ”[1963-i] [He]1963-i laughs . “ Yes , it is . ”[1963-i] [I]0-i open the tiny blue bag and pull out something long and hard . When [I]0-i realize what it is , a tsunami of swoon hits [me]0-i all at once . [You]1963-i got [me]1963-i a magnet ? ”[1963-i] [He]1963-i sticks [his]1963-i hands in [his]1963-i pockets . “ Yeah . [I]1963-i was n’t sure if [you]0-i ’d found one yet . [I]1963-i remember [you]0-i saying that [you]0-i get one for [every city [you]0-i visit]4076-every city you visit . But since [we]4077-we leave soon , [I]1963-i thought it might be a nice memento . But if [you]0-i already got one , [we]4077-we can just leave it here , or — ”[1963-i] [I]0-i have n’t bought one yet . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stare down at the magnet . It reads [San Francisco]21-san francisco along the bottom , with the skyline and [Golden Gate Bridge]61-golden gate bridge at the top . It ’s cute , bubbly , and colorful , something [I]0-i would pick for [myself]0-i . “ But this is so perfect . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move [my]0-i thumb over the lettering . “ Seriously , if [you]1967-his do n’t like it , [I]0-i can get something different . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head and take a step forward so [I]0-i can press [my]0-i hand to [his]1967-his chest . “ This was so thoughtful and kind . ”[0-i] [Our]1968-our eyes connect . “ Thank [you]1967-his . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move in closer , loop [my]0-i arm around [him]1967-his , and give [him]1967-his a hug . [His]1967-his arms fall around [me]0-i . [You]0-i ’re welcome . Hopefully , [you]0-i will have more to add as [your]0-i business grows . ”[1967-his] [His]1967-his hand rubs up and down [my]0-i back . [I]0-i do n’t pull away . [I]0-i do n’t want to . [I]0-i grip [him]1967-his tighter instead , pressing [my]0-i cheek to [his]1967-his chest . [I]0-i really hope so . ”[0-i] And for the next minute or so , [we]1968-our remain like that , hugging [each other]333-each other . From the outside looking in , it might seem awkward , [two people]494-two people simply hugging in the middle of the common space , but right now , it feels right . It feels like [I]0-i belong here , in [his]1967-his arms , protected by [his]1967-his strength , cared for by [his]1967-his heart . This . This is what [I]0-i ’ve missed so much since not having [a boyfriend]1971-a boyfriend . Touch . Every time [I]0-i watch [Jeff]124-jeff swallow [Mom]101-mom in a hug , [I]0-i feel so incredibly grateful to [him]1967-his , because [he]1967-his gave [her]101-mom confidence back in [his]1967-his hugs . Showed [her]101-mom that [she]101-mom was [a desirable woman]1972-a desirable woman , not [a single mom]1973-a single mom . And the longer [you]1974-you go without incidental touches , something [I]0-i ’ve gone without for so long now , the more [you]1974-you long for them . Hugs . A brief kiss on the forehead . Holding hands . Fingers stroking [your]1974-you cheek . [I]0-i miss that terribly . Even though [I]0-i ca n’t expect [JP]87-jp[Jonah]201-jonah — to provide those things , [he]87-jp has been . And [I]0-i ’m going to miss that when [I]0-i go back to [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment , back to living on [my]0-i own . [You]0-i okay ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , probably wondering why [I]0-i ’m still holding on to [him]87-jp . “ Yeah . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod and take a step back . “ That was just really sweet of [you]87-jp . ”[0-i] [Our]1976-our eyes connect . “ Really sweet . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp awkwardly smiles . “ Glad [you]0-i like it . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp thumbs toward [[his]87-jp room]557-his room . [I]87-jp ’m going to go to bed now . Thanks for a great night , [babe]2728-babe . ”[87-jp] Do n’t leave yet . Sit with [me]0-i on the couch . Talk to [me]0-i some more . Come back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , where [you]0-i can sift [your]0-i fingers through [my]0-i hair and let [me]0-i feel the rumble of [your]0-i deep voice against [your]0-i chest . . . “ Have a good night . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wave . “ Later , [Kelse]96-kelse . ”[0-i] And then [he]87-jp takes off to [[his]87-jp bedroom]1319-his bedroom , leaving [me]0-i absolutely breathless . Speechless . And completely confused .

Chapter Eighteen

[JP

JP]1980-jp jp : [Dude]2754-dude , [I]0-i think [I]0-i did it . [I]0-i think [I]0-i “ wooed ”[0-i] [her]1982-she . [Breaker]97-breaker : [I]0-i ’ll be the judge of that . Lay it on [me]0-i . [JP]87-jp : [We]1983-we ’ve spent the last few nights together * as [friends]2684-friends * hanging out , talking , sharing meals . [We]1983-we went out to a movie marathon and then did a night tour at [Alcatraz]58-alcatraz . And last night [we]1983-we made dinner together and shared it out on [the balcony]1935-the balcony . Breaker : Okay , so [you]87-jp ’ve spent some time together . Not sure that ’s enough . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i saved the best for last . [I]0-i got [her]1982-she a magnet . Breaker : That ’s [your]87-jp best ? A magnet ? [Dude]2754-dude . . . [JP]87-jp : No , it was a good thing . [She]1982-she likes to get a magnet from [every city [she]1982-she goes to]1987-every city she goes to . [I]0-i remembered [her]1982-she saying that , so [I]0-i got [her]1982-she a magnet . [She]1982-she was so grateful and [she]1982-she fucking hugged [me]0-i for a long time . [Breaker]97-breaker : How long ? [JP]87-jp : Like . . . a minute ? [Breaker]97-breaker : Was [her]1982-she cheek on [your]87-jp chest ? [JP]87-jp : It was . Breaker : Did [she]1982-she cry ? [JP]87-jp : No tears , but [I]0-i think [I]0-i was close to getting them . Breaker : Uh - huh . Any other details [you]87-jp need to divulge so [I]0-i can make a decision ? [JP]87-jp : [She]1982-she called [me]0-i [Jonah]201-jonah a few times . [Breaker]97-breaker : Wait , [you]87-jp told [her]1982-she [your]87-jp real name ? [JP]87-jp : Yeah . [She]1982-she said [the man [she]1982-she ’s been hanging out with]1988-the man she ’s been hanging out with is more of a [Jonah]201-jonah , not [the playboy JP]87-jp . Breaker : [I]0-i think [my]0-i heart just skipped a beat . [JP]87-jp : Yeah ? Think [she]1982-she ’s wooed ? Breaker : [I]0-i think there ’s a ninety - nine percent chance that [she]1982-she is . [JP]87-jp : That ’s a solid percentage . [Breaker]97-breaker : [She]1982-she really called [you]87-jp [Jonah]201-jonah ? [JP]87-jp : Yeah . . . and [I]0-i really fucking liked it . Hell , [I]0-i really like [her]1982-she . If anything , these last few days have shown [me]0-i how much [I]0-i care for [this woman]461-this woman . Not sure what will happen , but [I]0-i need to take a chance . [Breaker]97-breaker : [I]0-i think [you]97-breaker have a solid chance . What are [you]87-jp going to do ? [JP]87-jp : Well , it ’s [our]1990-our last full night here . [We]1990-our leave tomorrow around six , [I]0-i think . So , [I]0-i think [I]0-i ’m going to take [her]1982-she to [Parkside]62-parkside . [I]0-i told [her]1982-she about it a while back , how [they]1991-they have the best [Dim Sum]265-dim sum , and then [I]0-i ’m going to take [her]1982-she to [the rooftop]1992-the rooftop for dessert . Breaker : [Smooth]63-smooth . [I]0-i like it . After dessert , are [you]87-jp going to tell [her]1982-she how [you]87-jp feel ? [JP]87-jp : Yeah . Call [me]0-i crazy , but [I]0-i truly think [she]1982-she has the same feelings for [me]0-i . Breaker : [I]0-i think [you]87-jp ’re ready . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i know [I]0-i ’m ready . Fuck , [I]0-i ’m excited . [I]0-i ’ve never felt this way about [a woman]3073-a woman before . Breaker : [You]87-jp have n’t , at least [you]87-jp ’ve never told [me]0-i . [I]0-i can tell . . . [you]87-jp really like [her]1982-she . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i do . And [I]0-i do n’t want to fuck this up . [I]0-i ’d never forgive [myself]0-i . [Breaker]97-breaker : Well , [you]87-jp ’d know if [she]1982-she ’s ready for [you]87-jp . Do [you]87-jp think [she]1982-she is ? [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i do . After the hug last night , [I]0-i think [she]1982-she ’s ready for [me]0-i . [Breaker]97-breaker : Then [you]87-jp need to use [your]87-jp words , [JP]87-jp . [JP]87-jp : What do [you]97-breaker mean ? [We]1994-we ’ve been talking about lots of things . [Breaker]97-breaker : [You]87-jp need to use words and tell [her]1982-she how [you]87-jp feel . So far , [you]87-jp ’ve tried to show [her]1982-she what [you]87-jp feel . Now it ’s time to speak , [man]3096-man . Give [her]1982-she [your]87-jp truths . [JP]87-jp : [I]0-i will . Fuck . . . okay .

* * *

[I]0-i walk down [the hallway]1132-the hallway toward [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , feeling nauseated and excited all at the same time . Today dragged on , every minute feeling like an hour . [My]0-i meetings were mind - numbingly boring . [My]0-i inbox never stopped dinging with new emails . And when lunch came around , [I]0-i was hyped up , yet exhausted from [my]0-i mind constantly wondering about what was going to happen tonight . But , fuck , [I]0-i ca n’t wait to see [her]1982-she . [I]0-i ca n’t wait to surprise [her]1982-she with plans for tonight . [I]0-i open the door to [the penthouse]3153-the penthouse , set [my]0-i wallet and keys on the entryway table , and then call out to [her]1982-she , [Kelsey]139-kelsey , are [you]139-kelsey [home]2941-home ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , ”[1982-she] [she]1982-she says from [[her]1982-she room]1157-her room . “ Be right out . ”[1982-she] There ’s a mirror in the entryway that [I]0-i turn to quickly and check [myself]0-i out . Hair is in order . Suit looks good . Nothing in [my]0-i teeth . [I]0-i turn back around just in time to catch [her]1982-she walking toward [me]0-i , and [she]1982-she looks fucking stunning . Dressed in a flowy black dress that reaches just below [her]1982-she knees , [her]1982-she hair ’s curled in waves . . . [my]0-i pulse is racing . “ Hey , long day ? ”[1982-she] [she]1982-she asks while adjusting one of [her]1982-she earrings . “ Yeah , pretty long . What about [you]0-i ? ”[1982-she] “ It was okay . Had to have another meeting with [Regis]180-regis . [He]180-regis was slightly more pleasant than usual , but [I]1982-she think that ’s because [he]180-regis knows [we]4080-we leave tomorrow . ”[1982-she] [She]1982-she switches to the other ear , playing with that earring now . “ What do [you]0-i have planned for tonight ? ”[1982-she] [Glad]266-glad [she]1982-she asked . “ Well , [I]1982-she was thinking — ”[1982-she] Knock . Knock . [I]0-i glance behind [me]0-i . “ Did [you]1982-she order room service ? ”[0-i] “ No , that ’s [Derek]166-derek , ”[1982-she] [she]1982-she says . [We]4081-we have a date tonight . ”[1982-she] And just like that , every ounce of excitement , emotion , and confidence drains from [my]0-i veins and pools at the bottom of [my]0-i feet . As if [my]0-i heart has been ripped from [my]0-i chest , being scratched , and scarred by [my]0-i ribs in the process . All [my]0-i hopes . All [my]0-i thoughts . All [my]0-i fucking courage , it ’s all wiped away . Evaporated . [Demolished]267-demolished . [She]1982-she ’s . . . [she]1982-she ’s going on a date ? This ca n’t be fucking happening . This has to be a joke , right ? [She]1982-she ca n’t possibly be going on a date with [him]2000-him , not after . . . well , not after everything . But to [my]0-i horror , [Kelsey]139-kelsey reaches past [me]0-i and opens the door , revealing [Derek]166-derek on the other side . Fuck . . . “ Hey , [Derek]166-derek , just need to grab [my]166-derek shoes . Give [me]166-derek a second . ”[166-derek] “ Not a problem . ”[166-derek] [Derek]166-derek turns toward [me]0-i as [Kelsey]139-kelsey opens the entryway closet . “ Hey , [you]0-i must be [JP]87-jp . Nice to meet [you]0-i . [[Your]0-i brother]2724-your brother has talked a lot about [you]0-i . ”[166-derek] [He]166-derek holds out [his]166-derek hand , and because [I]0-i do n’t want to look like [a dick]786-a dick , [I]0-i take it in [mine]0-i and give it a shake . “ Nice to meet [you]139-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , but [I]0-i barely recognize [my]0-i voice . It ’s gravelly , dark . Fuck , [I]0-i ’m so upset . So goddamn upset that [I]0-i can feel [my]0-i throat start to tighten . “ Okay , [I]139-kelsey ’m ready , ”[139-kelsey] [Kelsey]139-kelsey says . [She]139-kelsey ’s slipping away . [My]0-i plans . [My]0-i night . [My]0-i big ask . It ’s all crumbling right in front of [me]0-i . [I]0-i ca n’t feel [my]0-i feet . [My]0-i lungs do n’t seem to have any air in them . And it feels as if a sharp knife is bludgeoning [my]0-i chest continuously , ratcheting up this overwhelming sense of pain . [I]139-kelsey ’ll be [home]2941-home later , ”[139-kelsey] [Kelsey]139-kelsey says , [her]139-kelsey hand dragging over [my]0-i arm . [Her]139-kelsey touch . . . it does something inside of [me]0-i . It reminds [me]0-i of what [Breaker]97-breaker said . [You]2002-you need to use words and tell [her]139-kelsey how [you]2002-you feel . So far , [you]2002-you ’ve tried to show [her]139-kelsey what [you]2002-you feel . Now it ’s time to speak , [man]3096-man . Give [her]139-kelsey [your]2002-you truths . [He]3096-man ’s not wrong . [My]0-i tactics have proven to be shortsighted . And before [she]139-kelsey can take another step , [I]0-i ask , “ Can [I]0-i talk to [you]139-kelsey for a second ? ”[0-i] [She]139-kelsey pauses , looks over [her]139-kelsey shoulder , and asks , “ Right now ? ”[139-kelsey] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [I]0-i must look distraught because [she]139-kelsey tells [Derek]166-derek to give [her]139-kelsey a second and then follows [me]0-i down [the hallway]1132-the hallway to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , where [I]0-i shut the door . [I]0-i shed [my]0-i suit jacket , toss it on a chair in the corner , and pace [the room]345-the room . “ Is everything okay ? ”[0-i] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Everything is not okay . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause and look up at [her]139-kelsey . [I]0-i ’m going to say something that [I]0-i know [you]139-kelsey certainly were n’t expecting but , fuck , [I]0-i need [you]139-kelsey to know . ”[0-i] [JP]87-jp , what ’s going on ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i like [you]139-kelsey , [Kelsey]139-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , just letting it all fly out . [I]0-i fucking like [you]139-kelsey , and [I]0-i . . . [I]0-i want to ask [you]139-kelsey out on a date , a real date . ”[0-i] [Her]139-kelsey mouth falls slightly open . “ And [I]139-kelsey know this is n’t the best timing and that this is selfish of [me]139-kelsey because [you]139-kelsey ’re about to go out on a date , but please , please do n’t go out with [him]4084-him . Stay here , with [me]139-kelsey , be with [me]139-kelsey , give [me]139-kelsey a chance . ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey does n’t say anything . And [I]0-i wait as [she]139-kelsey stands there in shock . [I]139-kelsey had plans for tonight . [I]139-kelsey was going to take [you]139-kelsey to [Parkside]62-parkside and tell [you]139-kelsey how much [I]139-kelsey like [you]139-kelsey and want to be with [you]139-kelsey . [I]139-kelsey know that ’s hard to believe , given [your]139-kelsey first impression of [me]139-kelsey , but [I]139-kelsey swear , [Kelsey]139-kelsey , [I]139-kelsey swear [I]139-kelsey ’m fucking ready for something more . ”[139-kelsey] [JP]87-jp . . . [I]0-i . . . [I]0-i do n’t know what to say . ”[0-i] [You]139-kelsey do n’t have to say anything , just do n’t go out with [him]4085-him . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i could fucking take it . [Your]139-kelsey last date was when [I]0-i drank [myself]0-i stupid . That ’s how long [I]0-i ’ve felt this for [you]139-kelsey . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i could survive tonight knowing [he]4085-him ’s claiming [you]139-kelsey as [his]4085-him , holding [your]139-kelsey hand , making [you]139-kelsey laugh . . . kissing [you]139-kelsey . All [I]0-i ’ve wanted is to fucking kiss [you]139-kelsey , to taste [your]139-kelsey lips , to make [you]139-kelsey mine . [I]0-i ’ve wanted this ever since [I]0-i met [you]139-kelsey , from the first moment [I]0-i laid eyes on [you]139-kelsey , [Kelsey]139-kelsey . [I]0-i knew [you]139-kelsey were special . [I]0-i knew [you]139-kelsey were someone [I]0-i had to get to know , that [I]0-i wanted to be around . And , sure , [I]0-i did n’t go about it the right way in the beginning , but [I]0-i ’ve been trying . [I]0-i ’ve tried to tell [you]139-kelsey so many times . So many fucking times . ”[0-i] [I]0-i push [my]0-i hand through [my]0-i hair . “ Please , [Kelsey]139-kelsey , please just stay here with [me]0-i , talk this out , give [me]0-i a chance . ”[0-i] [She]2007-i looks behind [her]2007-i and then back at [me]0-i . [JP]87-jp , [I]2007-i have a date . . . [I]2007-i do n’t . . . [I]2007-i ’m not sure . . . ”[2007-i] Fuck . Fuck , the pain is searing . Burning [me]0-i . Marking [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m sorry , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Fuck , this was selfish of [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m sorry , [Kelsey]139-kelsey . [I]0-i ’m fucking sorry . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take a seat on the edge of [my]0-i bed and bury [my]0-i hands in [my]0-i hair . [JP]87-jp . . . ”[0-i] “ Just go . Forget [I]2008-she said anything . Please , [I]2008-she should n’t have . This puts [you]139-kelsey in a bad spot . [I]2008-she ’m sorry . . . just go on [your]139-kelsey date . ”[2008-she] [She]2008-she ’s silent . [I]0-i can feel [her]2008-she eyes on [me]0-i . [Her]2008-she indecision weighs heavily on [my]0-i shoulders and when , for a moment , [I]0-i think that [she]2008-she might stay , [I]0-i hear [her]2008-she first step echo through [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , then another . . . then another . Trailing away from [me]0-i , one step at a time , until [my]0-i door is shut behind [her]2008-she . Fu - uck . [I]0-i suck in a sharp breath through heavy , webbed lungs . It feels impossible to gain much - needed oxygen . [Our]2010-our last night in [San Francisco]21-san francisco , and instead of spending it with [me]0-i , [she]2008-she ’s spending it with [another man]1640-another man . [I]0-i ’ve loved learning how [she]2008-she takes [her]2008-she coffee , the special breakfast [she]2008-she has to have in the morning . [I]0-i doubt [he]1640-another man knows about [her]2008-she day - of - the - week underwear or how [she]2008-she curls [her]2008-she hair when [she]2008-she ’s in a fun mood , straightens it when [she]2008-she means business . And knowing what [she]2008-she tastes like when [she]2008-she ’s wet , aroused , and looking for more ? Or how [she]2008-she sounds and looks when [she]2008-she comes ? That will be torture for [me]0-i , going forward . [I]0-i ’ve given [her]2008-she [my]0-i truths . All [I]0-i ’ve ever wanted since [I]0-i met [her]2008-she was to kiss [her]2008-she . Impress [her]2008-she . But in the end , [she]2008-she will choose [him]1640-another man . [My]0-i throat is so tight , [I]0-i can barely breathe . [I]0-i feel [my]0-i frustrations , [my]0-i emotions , bubble to the surface . The urge to call down to [the concierge]1805-the concierge for a bottle of Scotch is all - consuming . Just to get lost , forget , to erase this monopolizing pain ricocheting through [my]0-i chest . [I]0-i pull on [my]0-i thick strands . Fuck , what do [I]0-i do now ? Leave ? Chase [her]2008-she down [the hall]705-the hall , begging [her]2008-she to stay ? Find [the nearest bar]2014-the nearest bar ? [I]0-i ca n’t stay [here]2716-here . [I]0-i ca n’t wait around , wondering when [she]2008-she ’ll return . No , [I]0-i need to get the fuck out of [here]2716-here . [I]0-i need to get [home]2941-home . [I]0-i ’m [a billionaire]2018-a billionaire , so [I]0-i can fly [my]0-i fucking self whenever [I]0-i damn well please . That ’s what [I]0-i ’ll do . Leave . Get [home]2941-home tonight . Go to [[my]0-i safe place]2020-my safe place , [[my]0-i house]2843-my house , where [Kelsey]139-kelsey has n’t touched one goddamn thing . Where [I]0-i wo n’t be reminded of [her]139-kelsey . Where [I]0-i can sink into oblivion . [I]0-i glance around for [my]0-i phone . [I]0-i need to make the call . [I]0-i need to pack . Fuck , who cares about packing ? [I]0-i can buy new shit . [I]0-i just need to leave . [I]0-i just need to — The bedroom door creaks open . [My]0-i body stills as [my]0-i eyes flit to the door . It cracks open some more , and then [Kelsey]139-kelsey appears . No air in [my]0-i lungs . No blood through [my]0-i veins . Nothing is working within [me]0-i as [I]0-i sit there , staring . . . wondering what the hell [she]139-kelsey ’s doing . [She]139-kelsey shuts the door behind [her]139-kelsey and walks over to [me]0-i . [Her]139-kelsey strides are demure , [her]139-kelsey body language timid . Hunched over , [I]0-i sit up just as [she]139-kelsey stands in front of [me]0-i . [Kelsey]139-kelsey , [I]139-kelsey — ”[139-kelsey] Not saying a word , [she]139-kelsey straddles [my]0-i lap , lifts [my]0-i chin with [her]139-kelsey forefinger , and before [I]0-i can attempt to take [my]0-i next breath , [her]139-kelsey lips are on [mine]0-i . Fuck . . . [me]0-i . All it takes is one touch for [me]0-i to break . [I]0-i ’m not sure what [her]139-kelsey intentions are , and [I]0-i do n’t give a fuck , because [she]139-kelsey ’s kissing [me]0-i . [Kelsey]139-kelsey is fucking kissing [me]0-i , and it feels like [I]0-i just died and went to heaven . Soft . In control . Yearning . [She]139-kelsey parts [her]139-kelsey lips , dips [her]139-kelsey tongue into [my]0-i mouth , and then sifts [her]139-kelsey fingers through [my]0-i hair . [I]0-i snap . [My]0-i hands slide around [her]139-kelsey , one at [her]139-kelsey waist , the other at the nape of [her]139-kelsey neck , and [I]0-i kiss [her]139-kelsey back with more force . [I]0-i let [her]139-kelsey melt into [my]0-i touch , take control . [She]139-kelsey tugs on [my]0-i hair . [I]0-i slip [my]0-i hand under the hem of [her]139-kelsey dress . [She]139-kelsey moans into [my]0-i mouth . [I]0-i groan into [hers]139-kelsey . [She]139-kelsey opens [her]139-kelsey mouth wider . [My]0-i tongue finds [hers]139-kelsey . And then it ’s a tangled mess of need . Of eagerness . Of everything [I]0-i ’ve ever fucking wanted , and it ’s right here , available for the taking . [I]0-i ’m not letting go . [I]0-i ca n’t . [Her]139-kelsey hand slides up to [my]0-i jaw and [she]139-kelsey grips [me]0-i tightly . “ Unzip [my]139-kelsey dress . ”[139-kelsey] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask breathlessly . [Her]139-kelsey eyes connect with [mine]0-i , the gold in them shining in the yellow glare of the nightstand light . “ Unzip [my]139-kelsey dress , [Jonah]201-jonah . ”[139-kelsey] [My]0-i cock instantly grows hard . Is this real ? Is [she]139-kelsey real ? Am [I]0-i fucking dreaming ? Because that ’s what this feels like — a dream where [I]0-i ’ll wake up just as [I]0-i grip the small zipper of [her]139-kelsey dress . [I]0-i ’ll be rudely disrupted , [she]139-kelsey ’ll disappear , and that empty , clawing feeling will return . [Baby]268-baby , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper , [my]0-i forehead touching [hers]139-kelsey . “ Is this . . . is this real ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , ”[139-kelsey] [she]139-kelsey says as [her]139-kelsey lips fall to [my]0-i jaw . “ This is real . ”[139-kelsey] “ But . . . [your]0-i date ? ”[139-kelsey] [I]139-kelsey sent [him]4086-him [home]2941-home , ”[139-kelsey] [she]139-kelsey whispers as [her]139-kelsey lips move over [my]0-i mouth again . [I]139-kelsey realized . . . ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey kisses [my]0-i cheek . “ Very quickly . . . ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey kisses [my]0-i mouth . “ That the pain [I]139-kelsey felt walking away from [you]0-i . . . ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey kisses [my]0-i other cheek . “ Brought [me]139-kelsey to [my]139-kelsey knees . ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey lifts up and looks [me]0-i in the eyes . [I]139-kelsey think [I]139-kelsey ’ve wanted [you]0-i for a long time , and it took [me]139-kelsey walking away to confirm that . ”[139-kelsey] [I]0-i attempt to swallow the lump in [my]0-i throat , but fail miserably . “ What does that mean ? ”[139-kelsey] [She]139-kelsey brings [her]139-kelsey hands between [us]2022-us and slowly begins to unbutton [my]0-i dress shirt , one button at a time . “ It means that [I]139-kelsey ’m [yours]0-i . All yours . ”[139-kelsey] [You]139-kelsey ’re not . . . [you]139-kelsey ’re not leaving ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i still ca n’t believe it . [She]139-kelsey tugs [my]0-i shirt out of [my]0-i pants and slides the sleeves off [my]0-i shoulders , leaving [my]0-i torso bare to [her]139-kelsey . [Her]139-kelsey hands slide back up [my]0-i tense arms , over [my]0-i carved shoulders , and down [my]0-i rumbling pecs . [She]139-kelsey wets [her]139-kelsey lips as [her]139-kelsey hips move gently over [my]0-i lap . “ No . [I]139-kelsey ’m staying . [I]139-kelsey want . . . [I]139-kelsey want [you]0-i to ask [me]139-kelsey out . ”[139-kelsey] Fucking hell . [I]0-i feel the sting of tears at the backs of [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i ’m not [a goddamn crier]2023-a goddamn crier , but for the life of [me]0-i , [I]0-i ca n’t stop the ugly emotions seizing [me]0-i . Not sure the last time [someone]364-someone chose [me]0-i . . . for [me]0-i . For all the ugly [I]0-i have to offer . For all the halfhearted seriousness [I]0-i sputter out . For all the insecurities , the demons , the baggage . [She]364-someone ’s seen it all , in the flesh . And [she]364-someone ’s choosing [me]0-i . Wetting [my]0-i lips , [I]0-i stare into [her]364-someone eyes and say , [I]0-i want [you]364-someone as [mine]0-i . All of [you]364-someone . [Your]364-someone beautiful mind , [your]364-someone insane organization , [your]364-someone sexy - as - fuck body , and [your]364-someone loving heart . ”[0-i] [Then”—she]269-then”—she[0-i] pauses and brings [my]0-i hand to the back of [her]364-someone dress , to [her]364-someone zipper—“take it . Take [me]0-i . ”[0-i] Two words — who knew they could undo [me]0-i ? [I]0-i slide the zipper down and the straps of [her]364-someone dress loosen so [she]364-someone can push them off [her]364-someone shoulders . [She]364-someone gathers the hem of the dress and lifts it over [her]364-someone head , leaving [her]364-someone in a one - piece lingerie set . “ Did [you]364-someone . . . did [you]364-someone wear this for [him]4088-him ? ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone seductive eyes flash up to [mine]0-i as [she]364-someone shakes [her]364-someone head . “ No . [I]364-someone wore it for [you]0-i . ”[364-someone] Fucking hell . [I]0-i drive [my]0-i hand into [her]364-someone hair again and bring [her]364-someone mouth to [mine]0-i , showing [her]364-someone just how much [I]0-i want [her]364-someone , how much [I]0-i ’ve longed for this . When [she]364-someone grips [me]0-i back , [her]364-someone fingers digging into [my]0-i skin , [I]0-i realize [she]364-someone wants this just as much as [I]0-i do . [I]0-i ’m not letting go , neither is [she]364-someone , and with that knowledge , [I]0-i slow down [my]0-i kiss . [I]0-i part [my]0-i lips and tangle [my]0-i tongue with [hers]364-someone as [I]0-i twist [her]364-someone to the mattress , laying [her]364-someone carefully down while [I]0-i hover over [her]364-someone , [my]0-i arm propping [me]0-i up . Together , [we]2025-we explore [each other]333-each other . [Her]364-someone hands sift through [my]0-i hair , down [my]0-i back , across [my]0-i chest , over [my]0-i shoulders . [I]0-i drag [my]0-i fingers over the lace of [her]364-someone lingerie , over the sides of [her]364-someone breasts , down to [her]364-someone hip , and then back up to [her]364-someone delicate neck . [I]0-i ’ve wanted [you]364-someone for so long , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper as [I]0-i bring [my]0-i mouth to the column of [her]364-someone neck . “ And not just for sex . This is n’t just sex for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lift up so [our]2027-our eyes meet . “ Do [you]364-someone hear [me]0-i ? This is n’t just sex for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]364-someone know . ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone brings [my]0-i hand to [her]364-someone heart , pressing down so [I]0-i can feel how hard it ’s hammering . “ This is n’t just sex for [me]364-someone either . Feel that ? That ’s what [you]364-someone do to [me]364-someone , [you]364-someone make [my]364-someone heart beat faster . ”[364-someone] “ Why did n’t [you]364-someone say anything ? ”[364-someone] [I]364-someone did n’t think [you]364-someone felt the same way . ”[364-someone] [Babe]91-babe . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grip [her]364-someone jaw and tilt [her]364-someone mouth up . Inches away from [her]364-someone mouth , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i think [you]364-someone know how [I]0-i feel now . ”[0-i] [I]364-someone do , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone whispers before [I]0-i press [my]0-i lips to [hers]364-someone again . [She]364-someone sighs and loops [her]364-someone arms around [my]0-i neck . [I]0-i toy with the strap of [her]364-someone lingerie then tug the strap down a few inches , waiting to see [her]364-someone response . When [she]364-someone does n’t protest , [I]0-i pull it all the way down [her]364-someone arm . [She]364-someone shrugs out of it . While keeping [my]0-i lips on [hers]364-someone , [our]2028-our tongues colliding , tangling , [I]0-i feather [my]0-i fingers up [her]364-someone arm , across [her]364-someone collarbone , and then to [her]364-someone exposed breast . [My]0-i palm connects with [her]364-someone hard nipple , and [I]0-i groan into [her]364-someone mouth before rolling the hard nub with [my]0-i fingers . “ Yes , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone whispers when [my]0-i mouth releases [hers]364-someone . [I]0-i kiss down [her]364-someone neck , to [her]364-someone chest , and then [I]0-i lift up and stare down at [her]364-someone . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper , dragging [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i mouth . [Kelsey]139-kelsey , [you]139-kelsey ’re so goddamn beautiful . ”[0-i] [She]364-someone shrugs out of the other strap and then , with [her]364-someone eyes connected to [mine]0-i , [she]364-someone says , “ Strip [me]364-someone down . ”[364-someone] Hell . . . Lifting up , [I]0-i tug on the lingerie until [I]0-i free [her]364-someone from the lace , leaving [her]364-someone completely naked on [my]0-i bed . “ Christ , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper before lowering [my]0-i mouth to [her]364-someone breasts . [I]0-i squeeze one with [my]0-i hand while [I]0-i drag [her]364-someone nipple into [my]0-i mouth . [I]0-i lap at it with [my]0-i tongue a few times , over and over , and then [I]0-i suck on the nub — hard — causing [her]364-someone back to arch . So responsive . [I]0-i move to [her]364-someone other breast and do the same thing . Lick . Lick . Suck . [She]364-someone moans while holding [me]0-i in place . [I]0-i go back to [her]364-someone other breast and then trail kisses along [her]364-someone skin , over [her]364-someone belly button , and right below . [Her]364-someone legs part in anticipation , but instead of giving [her]364-someone what [she]364-someone wants , [I]0-i move back up [her]364-someone stomach and to [her]364-someone left breast . [I]0-i tease [her]364-someone nipple with [my]0-i mouth . “ God , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone groans in frustration . [I]364-someone ’m so ready for [you]0-i . [You]0-i have to know that . ”[364-someone] “ Are [you]364-someone ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as [I]0-i move [my]0-i hand between [us]2029-us and very lightly run it along the seam of [her]364-someone pussy . [My]0-i fingers are drenched in [her]364-someone arousal . Looking [her]364-someone in the eye , [I]0-i suck on [my]0-i fingers . “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i grind out . [I]0-i ’ve wanted [your]364-someone pussy ever since that first taste . ”[0-i] [I]0-i drag [my]0-i mouth back down [her]364-someone body , swirling [my]0-i tongue around , feeling [her]364-someone writhing beneath [me]0-i as [I]0-i grow closer and closer to the spot between [her]364-someone legs . [I]0-i drag [my]0-i tongue over [her]364-someone hipbone and then to [her]364-someone inner thigh . “ Please , do n’t tease [me]364-someone . . . please , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone cries . [You]364-someone want [my]364-someone mouth ? ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone nods . “ Please , [Jonah]201-jonah . ”[364-someone] Seeing the desperation in [her]364-someone eyes , [I]0-i switch plans . [I]0-i wanted to consume [her]364-someone with need by playing around with [her]364-someone inner thighs , but there ’s no point , so [I]0-i spread [her]364-someone legs with [my]0-i hands and move in between them . [Her]364-someone glistening clit is ready for [me]0-i , so with one , long , gentle stroke , [I]0-i soak [her]364-someone all up . “ Oh . . . God , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone groans while [her]364-someone pelvis reaches for [me]0-i . “ More . [I]364-someone want so much more . ”[364-someone] [I]0-i part [her]364-someone with [my]0-i fingers as [I]0-i drag [my]0-i tongue very slowly over [her]364-someone clit . [I]0-i ’m languid with [my]0-i strokes , adding sufficient pressure to drive [her]364-someone nuts , but not enough speed to push [her]364-someone over the edge . And that ’s how [I]0-i keep [her]364-someone , on the edge with every press , every lick . [I]0-i do n’t want [her]364-someone to come , not yet , not when [I]0-i ’m right where [I]0-i want to be . Pleasing [her]364-someone . Tasting [her]364-someone . Consuming [her]364-someone . [I]0-i ’ve dreamt of this , of this very moment , where [I]0-i could own [this woman]461-this woman . [I]0-i do n’t want it to end ; [I]0-i want it to last . [I]0-i want to know that [I]0-i can drive [her]364-someone crazy with every pass of [my]0-i tongue . [JP]87-jp , please , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone begs . [I]0-i slowly insert two fingers inside [her]364-someone , giving [her]364-someone more , but not making [her]364-someone come yet . “ Yes . ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone shifts under [my]0-i grasp . “ Right there . Ohhhh , yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i curve [my]0-i fingers up , while [I]0-i pick up the strokes of [my]0-i tongue , turning them more into flicks , causing a slew of curse words to fall out of [[my]0-i beautiful girl]2031-my beautiful girl ’s mouth . And , fuck , it turns [me]0-i on even more . [My]0-i dick is so hard , it ’s painful as it presses against [my]0-i dress pants , offering no room . Between the way [she]364-someone fucking tastes , and [her]364-someone reaction to what [I]0-i ’m doing , [I]0-i know the minute [I]0-i get inside [her]364-someone , [I]0-i ’m going to come . [JP]87-jp , oh God , [I]364-someone ’m . . . [I]364-someone ’m right there . ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone confession makes [me]0-i pause , and [I]0-i pull [my]0-i mouth from [her]364-someone clit to look up at [her]364-someone . [Her]364-someone chest is heaving , [her]364-someone eyes are ravenous , and [her]364-someone mouth is drawn into a frown as [she]364-someone says , “ What are [you]0-i doing ? ”[364-someone] [I]364-someone want to look at [you]0-i , see what [you]0-i look like right before [you]0-i come . ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone hands grip the comforter beneath [us]2032-us as [she]364-someone lies back down . “ Please , [JP]87-jp , please do n’t make [me]364-someone wait . [I]364-someone want to come on [your]0-i tongue . ”[364-someone] Well , fuck . [I]0-i bring [my]0-i mouth back to [her]364-someone clit , and instead of licking , [I]0-i suck the little nub between [my]0-i lips , causing [her]364-someone to call out [my]0-i name and [her]364-someone legs to grip [me]0-i tightly . “ Fuck , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone groans . “ Oh God . . . I’m — I’m . . . there . ”[364-someone] [I]0-i suck one more time before releasing [her]364-someone and flicking [my]0-i tongue against [her]364-someone clit over and over again until [she]364-someone tenses around [me]0-i and yells out something unintelligible as [she]364-someone falls over the edge . [Her]364-someone hips ride against [my]0-i mouth , [her]364-someone arousal soaks into [my]0-i beard , and [I]0-i keep moving [my]0-i tongue and fingers until [she]364-someone ’s begging [me]0-i to stop . [I]0-i pull away slightly to see what [I]0-i ’ve done to [her]364-someone . To watch [her]364-someone unfold , to recover with [her]364-someone sated body stretched out along the bed . [My]0-i dick is so painful right now , and [I]0-i undo [my]0-i belt , unbutton [my]0-i pants , and drag the zipper down . [Her]364-someone eyes flash up to [mine]0-i and [I]0-i give [her]364-someone a show as [I]0-i slowly push down [my]0-i pants and briefs , revealing [my]0-i agonized cock . [I]0-i take it into [my]0-i hand , grip the base , and pull . Fuck , that feels good . [I]0-i want inside [you]364-someone , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , dragging [my]0-i hand over the head . “ Are [you]0-i on birth control ? ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone nods , [her]364-someone body still relaxed from [her]364-someone orgasm . “ Good , because [I]364-someone want [you]364-someone bare . ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone teeth roll over [her]364-someone bottom lip . [You]364-someone want that , do n’t [you]364-someone ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]364-someone . [She]364-someone nods slowly . “ That ’s what [I]364-someone thought . [I]364-someone want it so fucking bad . [I]364-someone ’ve always used condoms , but with [you]364-someone , [baby]2899-baby , [I]364-someone want nothing between [us]4090-us . ”[364-someone] [I]0-i lie down so [my]0-i head is on a pillow , and placing one hand behind [my]0-i head , [I]0-i nod for [her]364-someone to come over to [me]0-i . [She]364-someone gets up on all fours and crawls toward [me]0-i , [her]364-someone perfect body making [me]0-i grow harder with every move [she]364-someone makes . [I]0-i ’ve always thought [her]364-someone tits were amazing , but being able to touch them , suck them , mark them , is better than [I]0-i imagined . And it ’s why [I]0-i ’m lying down . [I]0-i want to fuck [her]364-someone like this , so [I]0-i can watch [her]364-someone tits bounce , [her]364-someone face alight in pleasure , when [I]0-i ’m deep inside of [her]364-someone . Straddling [my]0-i legs , [she]364-someone sits on [my]0-i thighs . [She]364-someone smooths [her]364-someone hands up [my]0-i hips and then in toward [my]0-i cock , gripping the base . A harsh hiss escapes [my]0-i lips from [her]364-someone touch , warm . . . firm , just the way [I]0-i fucking like it . [JP]87-jp ? ”[0-i] “ Yes ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , watching [her]364-someone small hand pump [my]0-i cock very slowly . [I]364-someone really like [you]364-someone . ”[364-someone] Hell . If [she]364-someone ’s trying to bury [herself]364-someone under [my]0-i skin , [she]364-someone ’s doing a good fucking job . [I]364-someone really like [you]0-i , too , [babe]2728-babe . ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone smirks and then sits up on [her]364-someone knees , positioning [my]0-i cock at [her]364-someone entrance . [My]0-i jaw clenches , readying [myself]0-i for what [I]0-i know will be the most amazing feeling of [my]0-i life . The first inch — fuck , [she]364-someone ’s warm , tight , perfect . The second , [I]0-i feel [my]0-i eyes nearly rolling to the back of [my]0-i head . The third and fourth , [my]0-i chest is heaving . The fifth , sixth , seventh , eighth , ninth . . . [I]0-i nearly swallow [my]0-i tongue . And when [I]0-i bottom out , [I]0-i exhale sharply . [Her]364-someone hands fall to [my]0-i chest and [her]364-someone hair cascades over [her]364-someone shoulders and beautiful face . “ Oh my God . . . ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone whispers . [I]364-someone . . . [I]364-someone feel so . . . so full . ”[364-someone] [I]0-i slide [my]0-i hands up [her]364-someone thighs as the urge to thrust up is so consuming , that it ’s taking everything in [me]0-i to hold back . [You]0-i okay , [baby]2899-baby ? ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone head falls back , [her]364-someone hair floating with [her]364-someone , as [she]364-someone nods . “ Yeah . [I]364-someone feel so good . ”[364-someone] “ Perfect , because [I]364-someone need to move . [I]364-someone need to fuck [you]364-someone . ”[364-someone] “ Then fuck [me]364-someone , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone says right before [she]364-someone pulses on top of [me]0-i . [I]0-i move [my]0-i hips with [her]364-someone , pumping up into [her]364-someone . So warm . So tight . [I]0-i ’ve never felt anything like it , because [I]0-i ’ve never been bare with [a woman]3073-a woman , ever . But with [Kelsey]139-kelsey , [I]0-i knew [I]0-i needed to feel every inch of [her]364-someone . [I]0-i needed to know what it felt like to be pulled into [her]364-someone , to feel [her]364-someone pussy convulse around [me]0-i . And it ’s heaven . “ Shit , [babe]2728-babe , this . . . uhhhh , this feels so good . ”[0-i] [I]0-i open [my]0-i eyes and catch [her]364-someone throwing [her]364-someone head back in passion , [her]364-someone perky tits bobbing with [her]364-someone movements , [her]364-someone hair swaying back and forth . . . it spurs on [my]0-i impending orgasm . [Her]364-someone hands travel up [her]364-someone body , to [her]364-someone tits , and [she]364-someone grips them tightly , [her]364-someone fingers moving over [her]364-someone nipples , pinching them . “ Mmmmm , yes , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone says . Such a goddamn turn - on . [I]0-i grip [her]364-someone hips tighter and move [her]364-someone faster over [my]0-i cock . Every stroke is like a languid jolt of pleasure , pulsing straight to [my]0-i balls , making them grow tighter and tighter , but never fully bringing [me]0-i to where [I]0-i need to be . Rather , [I]0-i just edge [myself]0-i out , riding the prolonged need to come but never getting there . The frustration takes over and [I]0-i flip [her]364-someone to [her]364-someone back . [She]364-someone lets out a startled gasp , and while [she]364-someone ’s still stunned , [I]0-i grab [her]364-someone hands and pin them together over [her]364-someone head . [I]0-i lower [my]0-i head to [her]364-someone tits and suck [her]364-someone nipples into [my]0-i mouth . “ Oh my God , yes , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone calls out as [I]0-i continue to pump into [her]364-someone . Now in control , [I]0-i can swivel [my]0-i hips just right , [I]0-i can pull out slow and hammer into [her]364-someone hard . [I]0-i can get what [I]0-i need while delivering what [she]364-someone needs , as well . [You]364-someone feel so good , [Kelsey]139-kelsey . So fucking good . ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone wraps [her]364-someone legs around [my]0-i back , drawing [me]0-i in closer . [I]0-i can feel that [she]364-someone ’s close , and [I]0-i ’m right there with [her]364-someone as [my]0-i legs start to feel light , tingling , and numb . [My]0-i grip on [her]364-someone hands feels like it ’s growing weak as [my]0-i hips pulse faster and faster . The sound of [my]0-i skin smacking against [hers]364-someone fills [the room]345-the room . [I]0-i lower [my]0-i free hand to [her]364-someone stomach , just above [her]364-someone pubic bone , and press down gently . [Her]364-someone eyes flash wide , [her]364-someone mouth drops open , and a silent plea falls past [her]364-someone lips as [her]364-someone cheeks redden and [her]364-someone legs clamp around [me]0-i even more . “ Oh my God . . . oh [my]364-someone God , yes . . . yes . [Jonah]201-jonah , oh my God ! ”[364-someone] [Her]364-someone pussy clenches around [my]0-i cock and [she]364-someone comes , [my]0-i name falling off [her]364-someone tongue over and over again . That ’s all it takes . [My]0-i balls draw in tight , [my]0-i cock swells , and with one last pulse , [I]0-i ’m coming inside of [her]364-someone . [Mother]130-mother . . . fucker , ”[0-i] [I]0-i grind out , [my]0-i molars nearly cracking from the intense orgasm that rips through [me]0-i , sending [me]0-i into a black hole of pure bliss . [I]0-i pulse a few more times before [I]0-i collapse , right on top of [her]364-someone . Holy . . . Fuck . That was . . . hell , that was the best sex of [my]0-i entire life . And [I]0-i know it ’s because of [her]364-someone , because of the feelings [I]0-i possess for [her]364-someone . This was n’t mindless sex , this was meaningful . The start of something new . “ Shit , [I]0-i ’m sorry , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i try to move off [her]364-someone . “ No , stay , ”[364-someone] [she]364-someone says , wrapping [her]364-someone arms around [me]0-i as well and slowly dragging [her]364-someone fingers over the short strands of hair on the back of [my]0-i neck . [I]0-i press [my]0-i forearms into the mattress so [I]0-i can alleviate some of [my]0-i weight and stare down at [her]364-someone . [Our]2035-we eyes connect , and together , [we]2035-we both smile , and then laugh . “ Why are [you]364-someone laughing ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]364-someone . “ Because [you]364-someone ’re laughing . ”[0-i] [We]2035-we laughed at the same time . ”[364-someone] “ True . . . [I]364-someone just — [I]364-someone do n’t know , it all feels right . [I]364-someone guess that ’s [my]364-someone response when something feels so right . ”[364-someone] “ It does , does n’t it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]364-someone , giving [her]364-someone a chaste kiss . “ It does . ”[0-i] “ So , no regrets ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]364-someone . “ None at all . Do [you]364-someone have regrets ? ”[0-i] [Her]364-someone brow draws together in concern . [Babe]91-babe , [I]364-someone almost had a goddamn heart attack when [you]0-i left [this room]3125-this room . [I]364-someone ’m pretty sure [you]0-i could label [me]364-someone as [the happiest man on [the planet]4096-the planet]4095-the happiest man on the planet right now . ”[364-someone] [She]364-someone strokes the hair that ’s tipping over [my]0-i forehead . “ Why did n’t [you]0-i say anything sooner ? Why did [you]0-i wait so long ? ”[364-someone] [I]364-someone tried telling [you]0-i a few times , but [we]4097-we were always interrupted and then , hell , [I]364-someone thought that maybe if [I]364-someone wooed [you]0-i first , [you]0-i ’d be more willing to give [me]364-someone a chance . That ’s what [I]364-someone ’ve been doing . [I]364-someone planned to tell [you]0-i tonight , at dinner . Until [I]364-someone saw [you]0-i were going out with [Derek]166-derek . ”[364-someone] “ That must have hurt [you]0-i so much . [I]2036-i ’m sorry , [JP]87-jp . [I]2036-i never would ’ve said yes to [[his]166-derek date]806-his date if [I]2036-i knew that ’s how [you]0-i felt . ”[2036-i] “ It was an absolute gut punch , hence [my]2036-i pleading with [you]0-i to stay . ”[2036-i] “ Well , [I]364-someone ’m here now , and [I]364-someone ’m [yours]364-someone . ”[364-someone] “ All mine ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [You]0-i realize what that means , right ? ”[0-i] “ What ? ”[2036-i] [she]2036-i asks . “ That [I]2036-i was right , [men]2682-men and [women]2683-women ca n’t work together — ”[2036-i] [She]2036-i claps [her]2036-i hand over [my]0-i mouth , halting [me]0-i . [I]2036-i suggest [you]0-i do n’t finish that sentence . ”[2036-i] Chuckling , [I]0-i nip at [her]2036-i hand until [she]2036-i lets go , and then [I]0-i lower [my]0-i lips to [her]2036-i neck and start kissing [her]2036-i all over again . [She]2036-i sighs into [my]0-i kiss , and for the first time in as long as [I]0-i can remember , [I]0-i truly feel happy .

Chapter Nineteen

[KELSEY]139-kelsey

Meant to Be Podcast [Sawyer]270-sawyer and [Fallon Kelsey]271-fallon : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]2038-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Sawyer]270-sawyer and [Fallon]271-fallon , thank [you]139-kelsey so much for joining [me]0-i today . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : Thanks for having [us]2038-we . [Kelsey]271-fallon : [I]0-i saw that the movie [Runaway Groomsman]272-runaway groomsman is releasing this fall and that the script is based on [your]139-kelsey relationship . Is that true ? [Fallon]271-fallon : It is . [Sawyer]270-sawyer is a fantastic screenwriter for romance movies , but [his]2040-his dating life was absolute crap . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : [She]270-sawyer speaks facts . [Fallon]271-fallon : [His]271-fallon luck was n’t great , either , because [[his]271-fallon girlfriend]2041-his girlfriend actually cheated on [him]271-fallon with [[his]271-fallon best friend]2042-his best friend . [Kelsey]271-fallon : No , that ’s awful . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : That ’s not the worst part . [I]0-i was [the bitter best man at [their]2044-their wedding]2043-the bitter best man at their wedding , and halfway through the ceremony , [I]0-i realized [I]0-i did n’t have to put up with having to watch [them]2044-their get married . So . . . [I]0-i left . [Fallon]271-fallon : In the middle of the wedding , [he]271-fallon ran out of [the church]2045-the church right to [[his]271-fallon car]810-his car , then drove to [Canoodle]64-canoodle , where [we]2047-we both live now . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : In classic , pitiful life fashion , [I]0-i drove to [the first bar [I]0-i saw]2048-the first bar i saw and got drunk . [Fallon]271-fallon : It was n’t love at first sight . . . because [we]2047-we ’d actually gone on a blind date a year before , but [he]271-fallon did n’t remember [me]0-i . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : Still feel like an ass about that . But , slowly — and [I]0-i mean slowly — [we]2047-we became [friends]2684-friends . But [she]2050-her was with [someone else]2834-someone else , so [I]0-i remained [[her]2050-her friend]1790-her friend , despite falling for [her]2050-her . [Fallon]271-fallon : At the time , since [I]0-i was with [someone else]2834-someone else , [I]0-i could n’t reflect on how [I]0-i felt about [Sawyer]270-sawyer . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : It was n’t until after [she]2050-her broke it off with [[her]2050-her boyfriend]2054-her boyfriend — it was a mutual decision — that [I]0-i slowly showed [her]2050-her [I]0-i could be [[her]2050-her leading man]2055-her leading man . [Fallon]271-fallon : Oh [my]0-i God , [you]270-sawyer ’re so cheesy . [Sawyer]270-sawyer : Yeah , but [you]271-fallon still love [me]0-i . [Fallon]271-fallon : [I]0-i do .

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“ Morning , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says as [he]87-jp leans against the kitchen counter , holding a mug of coffee , looking so freaking fine in [his]87-jp navy - blue three - piece suit . “ Good morning , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i feel [my]0-i cheeks heat up , because , oh [my]0-i God , [I]0-i ’ve never in [my]0-i life had as much sex as [I]0-i did last night . Six times . Six freaking times . It was as if [he]87-jp opened a dam to [my]0-i libido . Anytime [he]87-jp even pulled away , [I]0-i nuzzled back into [him]87-jp , wanting more . [His]87-jp hands . [His]87-jp mouth . [His]87-jp cock . [I]0-i needed it all , and every time [he]87-jp was deep inside [me]0-i , with nothing between [us]2056-we , [I]0-i still did n’t feel like [we]2056-we were close enough until [we]2056-we were both coming together . [I]0-i ’ve never felt anything like it , this blinding need to be attached to [another human]2057-another human . If [I]0-i ’m honest , that need has been building all week . With every time [we]2056-we hung out , every meal [we]2056-we shared , every hug before [we]2056-we went off to bed , [I]0-i tried to tell [myself]0-i [we]2056-we were just [friends]2684-friends , that there was nothing more , but [my]0-i heart knew better . The moment [I]0-i saw the devastation on [his]87-jp face before the date with [Derek]166-derek , [I]0-i nearly split in two . [I]0-i left [[his]87-jp room]557-his room with one thing on [my]0-i mind — letting [Derek]166-derek go so [I]0-i could spend the rest of the night in [JP]87-jp ’s arms . [I]0-i know it was n’t fair to [Derek]166-derek , and [I]0-i plan on messaging [him]166-derek later , but [I]0-i could n’t leave [JP]87-jp . [I]0-i could n’t bear the look in [his]87-jp eyes , the pleading for [me]0-i to stay . It gutted [me]0-i . And in the blink of an eye , it was as if everything fell into place . The conversations . The dates . The text messages . This was [the man [I]0-i was supposed to be with]2060-the man i was supposed to be with . Not [Derek]166-derek . Not [Edwin]142-edwin . Not [some random guy [I]0-i might meet on a dating app]2061-some random guy i might meet on a dating app . [JP]87-jp has been [the man]355-the man all along , and [I]0-i ’ve just been too blind to see it — until yesterday . “ Are [you]0-i going to give [me]87-jp a kiss ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , before taking a sip of [his]87-jp coffee . Smiling shyly , [I]0-i walk up to [him]87-jp , place [my]0-i hand on [his]87-jp chest , and then stand on [my]0-i toes and press a kiss to [his]87-jp lips . [His]87-jp hand around [my]0-i waist holds [me]0-i in place . [Our]2063-our mouths collide in a sweet connection , not carnal at all , but it ’s nice . It ’s the sweet and dreamy kiss that sends chills up [your]2064-your spine while [your]2064-your stomach flutters with excitement . [You]87-jp smell nice . ”[87-jp] “ Yeah ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks . “ Not sure [I]87-jp ’ll ever get used to [you]0-i tossing [me]87-jp a compliment . [You]0-i ’ve despised [me]87-jp for so long . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp did n’t despise [you]0-i . [You]0-i were just . . . irritating . ”[87-jp] “ Looks like [I]87-jp did a good job irritating [you]0-i into [my]87-jp arms . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wiggles [his]87-jp brows . “ Or [you]0-i did a good job showing [me]87-jp who [you]0-i really are , and [I]87-jp could n’t resist that . ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp like the real [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . [I]0-i really do . ”[0-i] [I]0-i give [him]87-jp one more kiss before pulling away and taking [his]87-jp coffee with [me]0-i . [I]0-i lean against the counter opposite [him]87-jp and sip from [his]87-jp mug . [I]0-i ’m sad this is [our]4101-we last day [here]2716-here , that [we]4101-we leave today . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp saunters over to [me]0-i and presses [me]0-i against the counter , placing both of [his]87-jp hands on [my]0-i hips . [You]0-i fail to realize that [I]87-jp ’m [a billionaire]2018-a billionaire and if [we]4101-we want to come up here every weekend , [we]4101-we can . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i play with the buttons on [his]87-jp shirt . “ It wo n’t be the same . [We]4101-we were in a bubble here . [I]87-jp mean , when [we]4101-we go back to [LA]18-la , are [you]0-i really going to come to [[my]87-jp studio apartment]2713-my studio apartment and hang out ? ”[87-jp] “ If [you]0-i want [me]87-jp to , [I]87-jp will . Hell , [we]4101-we can spend every night there , if [you]0-i want . ”[87-jp] “ Do [you]0-i think [you]0-i ’ll be spending every night with [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp hands grip [me]0-i tighter , then [he]87-jp lifts [me]0-i up onto the counter . [He]87-jp settles between [my]0-i legs and says , [I]87-jp expect nothing from [you]0-i . [I]87-jp ’m just telling [you]0-i where [I]87-jp ’m at . If [you]0-i want to spend the night with [me]87-jp , that ’s [your]0-i choice . If [I]87-jp had it [my]87-jp way , [you]0-i ’d be coming [home]2941-home with [me]87-jp tonight . ”[87-jp] “ Are n’t [you]87-jp nervous ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Nervous about what ? ”[0-i] [I]87-jp do n’t know . . . all of this . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp thumbs rub against [my]0-i hips as [he]87-jp calmly asks , “ Are [you]0-i having regrets ? ”[87-jp] “ No , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say quickly before setting down the mug and placing [my]0-i hands on [his]87-jp shoulders . “ Not at all . [I]0-i do n’t want [you]0-i to think that . [We]4106-we just jumped into it quickly and , yes , last night was the best night of [my]0-i life . [I]0-i just do n’t want to get lost in the physical , [you]0-i know ? ”[0-i] The slowest smile falls over [his]87-jp lips as [he]87-jp leans in close and presses a kiss to [my]0-i cheek . [I]87-jp get it , [babe]2728-babe . [You]0-i want to date , yeah ? ”[87-jp] When [he]87-jp pulls away , [I]0-i slowly nod . [I]87-jp mean , will [we]4106-we still go on dates ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp chuckles . “ How about this ? Tomorrow night , [I]87-jp ’ll pick [you]0-i up at [[your]0-i place]3224-your place and [we]4106-we ’ll go on a date ? Does that work ? [Our]4106-we first official date . ”[87-jp] “ Technically , [our]4106-we first one was at [the blind date restaurant]2732-the blind date restaurant . ”[87-jp] “ Yes , but [we]4106-we both consent to go on this one . ”[87-jp] “ Very true . ”[0-i] [I]0-i move [my]0-i hands to the nape of [his]87-jp neck . [You]87-jp do n’t mind taking [me]0-i on a date ? [You]87-jp know , slowing down from last night ? ”[0-i] [Kelsey]271-fallon . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp looks [me]0-i in the eyes . “ Ever since the moment [you]0-i walked off the elevator at [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises , [I]87-jp ’ve been waiting for the moment to call [you]0-i [[my]87-jp girl]2897-my girl . Slowing down wo n’t kill [me]87-jp , it ’ll just make it better . ”[87-jp] How on earth did [I]0-i not know [this man]2781-this man was so sweet ? That [he]87-jp ’s not only understanding and kindhearted but is also swoon - worthy ? “ Thank [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] “ Do [you]87-jp feel better ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i fingers toy with the short strands of [his]87-jp hair . “ Much better . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean in and give [him]87-jp a whisper of a kiss before asking , [You]87-jp have a meeting with [the mayor]3168-the mayor this morning ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah , then [I]87-jp have to run across [town]652-town to meet up with [Edison]182-edison about [another building [we]4114-we ’re interested in]4113-another building we ’re interested in . Unfortunately , [I]87-jp wo n’t see [you]87-jp until [the airplane]1085-the airplane . ”[87-jp] “ That ’s okay . Are [you]87-jp all packed ? ”[0-i] “ Yup , packed this morning . ”[0-i] “ How ? [I]87-jp feel half - awake . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp smirks . [Babe]91-babe , plugging into [you]91-babe last night gave [me]87-jp all the energy . ”[87-jp] “ Eww . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swat at [his]87-jp chest . “ Do n’t say [you]87-jp plugged into [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp laughs out loud and moves [his]87-jp arms around [me]0-i , pulling [me]0-i into a hug . “ Nah , [babe]2728-babe , [I]87-jp ’m just high on excitement right now . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp kisses the side of [my]0-i head . “ It means more to [me]87-jp than [you]0-i will ever know , when [you]0-i came back last night , when [you]0-i chose [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ It was an easy choice , ”[0-i] [I]0-i admit , causing [him]87-jp to sigh into [my]0-i hold . “ Fuck , [I]87-jp wish [I]87-jp did n’t have two meetings today . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp brings [my]0-i hand up to [his]87-jp lips and kisses [my]0-i knuckles . [I]87-jp ’ll see [you]0-i on [the plane]3171-the plane ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [He]87-jp pulls away , and as [he]87-jp heads toward the door , [I]0-i call out , “ Hey , [JP]87-jp ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp looks over [his]87-jp shoulder . [I]87-jp ’m really glad [you]0-i came to [San Francisco]21-san francisco . [I]87-jp know [you]0-i really did n’t want to . ”[87-jp] “ Only because [I]87-jp was fucking infatuated with [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp winks . “ See [you]0-i at [the airport]4118-the airport . ”[87-jp] When [he]87-jp leaves , [I]0-i practically melt on the countertop as everything [he]87-jp ’s ever said to [me]0-i comes to the forefront of [my]0-i mind . The glances , the light touches , the teasing , the sweet gestures — it was all there . It always has been , from when [I]0-i first met [him]87-jp , and [I]0-i was so disappointed because [Lottie]89-kelsey had ruined [our]2066-we pitch to [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises , to the way [he]87-jp showed [me]0-i around [the office]548-the office when [we]2066-we were finally hired , offering [me]0-i help when [I]0-i needed it . The night of the gala , when [he]87-jp saw how upset [I]0-i was , and instead of taking off , tried to make [my]0-i night better . The dinners [we]2066-we ’ve shared and the time [we]2066-we ’ve spent together in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . [His]87-jp genuine care has been there , [I]0-i ’ve just been too worried to actually see it . [Worried]273-worried because of [his]87-jp reputation . Worried to fall for [someone like [him]87-jp]2068-someone like him . [Worried]273-worried to open [my]0-i eyes and see every facet of [JP]87-jp . But [I]0-i see [him]87-jp now . [I]0-i hop off the counter and retrieve [my]0-i phone from the dining room table . [I]0-i pull up [my]0-i text thread with [Lottie]89-kelsey and shoot [her]89-kelsey a text . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [Boy]383-boy , do [I]0-i need to talk to [you]383-boy . [I]0-i walk back to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room and start packing again , and [I]0-i ’m almost done when [Lottie]89-kelsey texts [me]0-i back . [Lottie]89-kelsey : That text seems juicy . Tell [me]0-i everything . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i was supposed to go out with [Derek]166-derek last night . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Did [he]166-derek not show up ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : No , [he]166-derek did . [JP]87-jp just intervened , told [me]0-i [he]87-jp has been pining for [me]0-i forever , wants to be with [me]0-i and . . . well , [I]0-i said a quick goodbye to [Derek]166-derek and wound up having sex with [JP]87-jp . . . six times . [Lottie]89-kelsey : OH . [MY]0-i . GOD ! Only took [you]0-i long enough ! Also , six times . . . welcome to sex with [a Cane brother]2071-a cane brother . How do [you]0-i feel ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Excited . Giddy . Slightly nervous . But mostly . . . [I]0-i just ca n’t wait to see [him]87-jp again . Is this crazy ? [I]0-i mean , just a few days ago , [we]2072-we were at each other ’s throats . And now [he]87-jp ’s , well , [he]87-jp ’s kind of everything [I]0-i ’d want in [a man]2703-a man . And this is [JP]87-jp ! [I]0-i never thought [I]0-i ’d say that . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [I]0-i saw it all along . [I]0-i was just waiting for it to happen . It ’s not crazy . [I]0-i think the great thing about [[you]2074-you two]3018-you two is that [you]2074-you ’re such opposites . That ’s why [Huxley]90-huxley and [I]0-i work so well together . [We]2072-we challenge [each other]333-each other , but [we]2072-we also soothe the parts of [each other that need extra care]2077-each other that need extra care . [I]0-i can see the same for [you]2074-you and [JP]87-jp . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Yeah , [I]0-i think that ’s pretty accurate . [I]0-i do n’t know . [I]0-i like [him]87-jp , [I]0-i really do . [I]0-i ’ve realized that more and more over the last few days . [I]0-i ’m just nervous . [Lottie]89-kelsey : About what ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : That [I]0-i wo n’t be enough . That [he]87-jp ’ll get tired of [me]0-i . That [he]87-jp thinks [he]87-jp ’s ready for a relationship , but [he]87-jp ’s really not , and [I]0-i ’ll end up getting hurt . [Lottie]89-kelsey : All valid concerns , but [you]2074-you wo n’t know the answers unless [you]2074-you try , unless [you]2074-you let [him]87-jp try . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : And if [he]87-jp hurts [me]0-i ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : Then [he]87-jp ’ll not only have to answer to [Huxley]90-huxley , but [he]87-jp ’ll have to face [me]0-i , as well , and as [you]2074-you know , [I]0-i do n’t let [anyone]377-anyone hurt [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [Edwin]142-edwin hurt [me]0-i . [Lottie]89-kelsey : And guess who got a glitter bomb delivered to [[his]142-edwin house]911-his house with a note that said to open it in front of [his]142-edwin computer ? [He]142-edwin ’s probably still plucking glitter from [his]142-edwin keyboard . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [You]89-kelsey did n’t . . . [Lottie]89-kelsey : [No one]2811-no one fucks with [you]89-kelsey and gets away with it . And if [JP]87-jp hurts [you]89-kelsey , well , just imagine the damage [I]0-i can do . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i might be a little scared . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Good , [I]0-i always want [everyone]2734-everyone to think [I]0-i ’m slightly unhinged . Keeps [them]2734-everyone on [their]2734-everyone toes . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i somehow feel bad for [Huxley]90-huxley . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Do n’t , [he]87-jp loves it . And , also . . . do n’t be worrying about what could go wrong with [JP]87-jp . Focus on what can go right . [He]87-jp likes [you]89-kelsey . [You]89-kelsey like [him]87-jp . Start there . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [You]89-kelsey ’re right . Thank [you]89-kelsey , [sis]2986-sis . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Now , tell [me]0-i more about this night of sex . Six times !

* * *

[You]87-jp did n’t have to help [me]0-i up to [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i reach [my]0-i front door . [JP]87-jp gives [me]0-i a pointed look . “ Do [you]0-i really think [I]87-jp was going to let [you]0-i carry [your]0-i luggage up here alone ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i guess not . ”[0-i] [I]0-i unlock [my]0-i door , push it open , and then scoot one of [my]0-i bags in as [JP]87-jp follows [me]0-i , dragging [my]0-i larger bag behind [him]87-jp . [You]0-i can just set it over here . ”[87-jp] “ This is [[your]0-i place]3224-your place ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , taking in [[my]0-i six - hundred - square - foot apartment]2084-my six - hundred - square - foot apartment . “ Yeah . [It]2084-my six - hundred - square - foot apartment ’s small , [I]87-jp know , but it does the job . [I]87-jp hope to get a bigger place at some point , but it ’s hard to find [an apartment that ’s in [a good area]4122-a good area]4121-an apartment that ’s in a good area and does n’t cost [me]87-jp [my]87-jp whole paycheck . ”[87-jp] Not saying anything , [JP]87-jp walks around [the small place]2085-the small place , running [his]87-jp fingers over [the bistro set]2086-the bistro set [I]0-i call a dining table , peeking [his]87-jp head into [[my]0-i kitchen]1052-my kitchen , and even opening the door to [[my]0-i closet]2088-my closet and [bathroom]2089-bathroom . When [he]87-jp turns toward [me]0-i , [he]87-jp sticks [his]87-jp hands in [his]87-jp pockets and says , [I]87-jp like it , [babe]2728-babe . It ’s very [you]2728-babe . ”[87-jp] [It]2085-the small place ’s small , nothing compared to [[your]2728-babe house]4124-your house . ”[87-jp] “ Why do [you]2728-babe have to do that ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks . “ Put down [[your]2728-babe place]3224-your place ? It ’s not a competition . This is where [you]2728-babe live , be proud of it . ”[87-jp] That warms [my]0-i heart . [You]87-jp ’re right . [I]87-jp do like [[my]87-jp place]3926-my place . [It]3926-my place ’s served [me]87-jp well . But [I]87-jp do hope to have [a place bigger than this someday]4127-a place bigger than this someday . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp walks up to [me]0-i , tugs on [my]0-i hand , and pulls [me]0-i against [his]87-jp chest . “ Until then , maybe [we]4128-we can make some memories [here]2716-here . ”[87-jp] “ What kind of memories are [you]87-jp suggesting ? ”[87-jp] “ Well , [I]87-jp was thinking [we]4128-we can cuddle on [your]87-jp bed , share some ice cream , and talk ? ”[87-jp] [Jonah Peter Cane]201-jonah , [the man who has sex on the brain twenty - four hours a day]4130-the man who has sex on the brain twenty - four hours a day , just wants to talk ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i give [him]87-jp a pointed look . “ What did [I]0-i tell [you]87-jp ? [You]87-jp said [you]87-jp want to take this slow , so that ’s what [we]4128-we ’ll do . [I]0-i want to spend some more time with [you]87-jp before [I]0-i have to kiss [you]87-jp good night and leave . ”[0-i] [I]0-i play with the hem of [his]87-jp shirt . “ Being [the romantic girl that [I]0-i am]4131-the romantic girl that i am , [I]0-i ’ve always dreamed of [someone]364-someone saying [they]364-someone want to spend more time with [me]0-i , but [I]0-i ’ve never heard it . ”[0-i] “ Because [you]87-jp were n’t with [the right guy]4133-the right guy . No need to look anymore . [I]87-jp ’m right here , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , placing a soft kiss on [my]0-i lips . “ And , thankfully , ice cream will be here shortly . [I]87-jp asked [[our]4134-we driver]4135-our driver , [Ramon]274-ramon , to stop by [the corner store]4136-the corner store to grab [us]4134-we some , banking on [you]87-jp saying yes . ”[87-jp] “ And what if [I]0-i said no ? ”[0-i] “ Then [I]0-i would ’ve gone [home]2941-home and eaten [my]0-i feelings . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle and kiss [his]87-jp jaw . “ How about this — [we]4134-we eat ice cream and [I]0-i unpack while [we]4134-we talk , because [I]0-i ca n’t possibly be in [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment with two untouched luggage bags . ”[0-i] [I]0-i can help . [I]0-i can sort [your]87-jp lingerie , if [you]87-jp want . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes and push [him]87-jp toward [my]0-i bed . [You]87-jp just hang out there and talk to [me]0-i while [I]0-i unpack . [I]0-i do n’t need [you]87-jp messing with [my]0-i system . ”[0-i] “ Okay , [Monica Geller]237-dominique , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , flopping on [my]0-i bed . [I]0-i point at [his]87-jp feet and say , “ Uh , shoes , [mister]1235-mister . Those need to be taken off . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp glances down at [his]87-jp feet and then back up at [me]0-i . “ Oh , this is going to be fun driving [you]87-jp nuts . ”[87-jp] “ Try [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [I]0-i know who ’ll win . ”[0-i]

* * *

“ Do [you]87-jp do this every time [you]87-jp come [home]2941-home from a trip ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks around [his]87-jp mouthful of chocolate cookie dough ice cream . “ Yes . ”[87-jp] “ What happens when [you]87-jp arrive [home]2941-home late ? ”[87-jp] “ Then [I]87-jp go to bed late . ”[87-jp] “ So , [you]87-jp ’re telling [me]0-i , [you]87-jp need to steam and disinfect all of [your]87-jp shoes before [you]87-jp go to bed ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i set down [my]0-i steamer , pick up [my]0-i bowl of ice cream , and take [my]0-i last mouthful before setting it back down . “ Yes . If [I]0-i do n’t , [I]0-i wo n’t get any sleep . [I]0-i told [you]87-jp , [I]0-i have a system , and that system must be followed before [I]0-i can tuck [myself]0-i into bed . ”[0-i] [I]0-i see . . . why do [I]0-i find it strangely sexy ? ”[0-i] “ Because [you]87-jp ’re deranged , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer while finishing up with [my]0-i last shoe . [I]0-i put away [my]0-i steamer and disinfectant and then zip up [my]0-i suitcases — the smaller one in the bigger one — and set them by [my]0-i door . “ Where do those go ? ”[0-i] “ In [storage]4142-storage . There ’s [a unit in [the basement of [the apartment building]4145-the apartment building]4144-the basement of the apartment building]4143-a unit in the basement of the apartment building . It ’s where [I]0-i keep [my]0-i holiday décor as well as any extra supplies like toilet paper , paper towels , and anything [I]0-i might have purchased a surplus of because of a great coupon . ”[0-i] [You]87-jp ’re so fucking efficient , it makes [me]0-i want to bury [my]0-i head between [your]87-jp breasts . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Are [you]2090-you saying [you]2090-you do n’t have [a surplus room]4146-a surplus room ? ”[0-i] “ Uh , [I]0-i think [mine]0-i is called [a pantry]4147-a pantry . ”[0-i] “ Ah , true . Is it organized ? ”[2090-you] [He]2090-you winces . [I]2090-you think [your]87-jp nipples would curdle if [you]87-jp saw [[my]2090-you pantry]4148-my pantry . ”[2090-you] “ What about [[your]87-jp bathroom]4149-your bathroom ? Is that organized ? ”[0-i] [My]0-i toothpaste has a specific spot on [my]0-i counter , if that ’s what [you]2090-you mean . ”[0-i] [[Your]87-jp fridge]4150-your fridge , is it color coordinated ? ”[2090-you] [He]2090-you scratches the side of [his]2090-you jaw . [I]2090-you do n’t even think there ’s food in there . ”[2090-you] “ Under [your]87-jp sink , are there drawers to hold [your]87-jp dishwasher pods ? ”[0-i] [I]2090-you do n’t do dishes . ”[2090-you] [My]0-i eyes narrow . “ Laundry ? ”[2090-you] [I]0-i pay [someone]364-someone to clean [my]0-i clothes . ”[0-i] [[Your]87-jp closet]4152-your closet , are [your]87-jp suits organized by color and texture ? ”[0-i] “ Babe , [I]2090-you ’m going to settle that craziness in [your]87-jp voice right now and tell [you]87-jp there ’s no way in hell [you]87-jp will walk into [[my]2090-you house]2843-my house and feel comfortable . It is unorganized . ”[2090-you] [He]2090-you lies back on [my]0-i bed and puts [his]2090-you hands behind [his]2090-you head . “ That ’s why [I]2090-you think it ’s great that [we]4154-we spend a lot of time [here]2716-here . ”[2090-you] “ Oh , no way . Uh - uh , not happening . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Tomorrow , [we]4154-we shall spend [our]4154-we date organizing [[your]2090-you house]4124-your house . ”[0-i] [He]2090-you sits up on [his]2090-you elbows . “ That ’s not a date . ”[2090-you] “ It is to [me]0-i . [I]0-i do n’t think anything would make [me]0-i happier than seeing [you]2090-you organize [your]2090-you shoes . Ooo , and [we]4154-we can go to [the container store]4157-the container store together , grab some food to go , and then just have a frenzy . ”[0-i] “ That does n’t sound appealing . ”[2090-you] [I]0-i walk over to [him]2090-you , straddle [his]2090-you lap , and place [my]0-i hands on [his]2090-you chest . [I]0-i ’ll wear a crop top , something where [you]2090-you can slip [your]2090-you hands around [my]0-i bare skin whenever [you]2090-you get frustrated . ”[0-i] [His]2090-you hands fall to [my]0-i thighs . [I]0-i ’m listening . ”[0-i] “ And [you]2090-you ’ll be granted one solid make - out session , because frankly , [I]2090-you know [I]2090-you ’ll be excited from all the organizing , and [I]2090-you ’ll want some one - on - one lip time with [you]2090-you . ”[2090-you] [He]2090-you laughs . “ Are [you]2090-you going to be mean about it ? Or will [you]2090-you be gentle with [my]2090-you disorganized soul ? ”[2090-you] [I]0-i lean down so [my]0-i mouth is inches from [his]2090-you . “ Gentle . Always gentle . ”[0-i] [His]2090-you hands smooth up [my]0-i back , and then , in the blink of an eye , [he]2090-you flips [me]0-i to [my]0-i back and covers [me]0-i with [his]2090-you strong , warm body . [You]2090-you know [I]2090-you want to make [you]2090-you happy , but do [you]2090-you really want to spend [our]4158-our first date at [[my]2090-you place]3926-my place organizing ? ”[2090-you] [I]2090-you do . ”[2090-you] [He]2090-you sighs heavily and then says , “ Fine , but [our]4158-our next date is [my]2090-you idea . Got it ? ”[2090-you] [I]0-i think that ’s fair . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grab [him]2090-you by the collar and pull [him]2090-you in close . [He]2090-you gently pushes [my]0-i hair behind [my]0-i ear , then cups [my]0-i cheek before kissing [me]0-i . [We]2091-we spend the next half hour making out , and it ’s everything [I]0-i could ask for .

* * *

[Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , spinning around , holding two bamboo containers that [I]0-i plan on using for the protein bars in [[his]2090-you pantry]1303-his pantry . “ What the hell are [you]2090-you wearing ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance down at [my]0-i joggers and black crop top shirt . “ Clothes . [I]0-i told [you]2090-you [I]0-i ’d wear a crop top for [you]2090-you . ”[0-i] [I]0-i came to [[his]2090-you place]1089-his place with a sweatshirt on , but all the organizing has made [me]0-i hot , so [I]0-i ditched the sweatshirt . “ Yes , but [you]2090-you ’re not wearing a bra . ”[0-i] Oh . . . yes , that ’s correct . [I]0-i smile and say , “ Oh , huh , must have forgotten it . ”[0-i] [His]2090-you eyes narrow , and it ’s quite comical . “ That ’s not what [we]4160-we agreed upon . ”[2090-you] “ Are [you]2090-you complaining about [me]2090-you not wearing a bra ? Really ? ”[2090-you] “ Yes . . . [you]2090-you ’re making [me]2090-you hard . ”[2090-you] “ Control [yourself]2090-you . [We]4160-we have more organizing to do . ”[2090-you] “ It ’s been two hours . Ca n’t [we]4160-we take a break ? ”[2090-you] “ And where do [you]2090-you suppose [we]4160-we take a break ? ”[2090-you] “ Outside . [You]2090-you have n’t even seen [[my]0-i pool]4161-my pool or [backyard]4162-backyard . [We]4160-we can stare at the stars , take a breath for a second . ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance back at [the pantry]2094-the pantry . “ Well , [I]0-i guess [we]4160-we could take a break . [We]4160-we ’ve really accomplished a lot . Maybe a break is in order . ”[0-i] The relief on [his]2095-i face is cute . [He]2095-i guides [me]0-i past the storage bins [I]0-i purchased for [the pantry]2094-the pantry , and leads [me]0-i through [the living room]2689-the living room to the large sliding glass doors . After a slight pause , [he]2095-i pushes past the curtains to a panel on the wall , enters a code , and then presses a few buttons . Like magic , [the pool]2688-the pool lights up in a deep blue color , bulb string lights dance above [us]2099-us , and the larger - than - life palm trees , which line the perimeter of [[his]2095-i backyard]2100-his backyard , glow with soft uplighting . “ Wow , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ This is . . . this is dreamy . ”[0-i] [I]2095-i thought [you]0-i ’d like it . ”[2095-i] [He]2095-i leads [me]0-i to a large white lounger in front of [the pool]2688-the pool , perfectly placed under the crisscrossing bulb lights . “ Will [you]0-i sit with [me]2095-i ? ”[2095-i] “ Of course , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [He]2095-i takes a seat first and then guides [me]0-i down between [his]2095-i legs , [my]0-i back to [his]2095-i chest . [I]0-i lean against [his]2095-i body and use [him]2095-i for support . [He]2095-i wraps [his]2095-i arms around [my]0-i exposed stomach . “ This okay ? ”[2095-i] [he]2095-i asks quietly , which surprises [me]0-i , because [he]2095-i ’s always been [a man who takes what [he]2095-i wants]2102-a man who takes what he wants , so the fact that [he]2095-i ’s checking in just makes [me]0-i respect [him]2095-i that much more . “ It ’s perfect , [JP]87-jp . ”[2095-i] And then , in the distance , very unexpectedly , [I]0-i hear the telltale sounds of instrumental music . But not just any instrumental music . “ Why do [I]0-i know this song ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [him]2095-i . [His]2095-i voice is low , like a whisper of a rumble . “ It was the first song [we]4163-we danced to at the gala . An instrumental version of Wildest Dreams . ”[2095-i] [You]0-i remembered that ? ”[2095-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[2095-i] [he]2095-i says softly , [I]2095-i remember everything that involves [you]89-kelsey . Everything . From what [you]89-kelsey wore the very first day [I]2095-i met [you]89-kelsey — a blue turtleneck dress — to the way [you]89-kelsey smelled when [we]4163-we shared [an elevator]1033-an elevator for the first time — like vanilla and brown sugar — to the way [you]89-kelsey tasted the first time [I]2095-i had a chance to be intimate with [you]89-kelsey — like a fucking sunset on a rainy day . This song . . . it was engrained in [my]2095-i brain , and [I]2095-i just hoped that [I]2095-i ’d get a chance to play it for [you]89-kelsey again one day . ”[2095-i] [I]0-i almost ca n’t hear [him]2095-i from the pounding of [my]0-i own heart . [I]2095-i had . . . [I]2095-i had no idea . ”[2095-i] [I]2095-i know [you]2095-i did n’t . And that ’s okay . [I]2095-i soaked [you]89-kelsey up from a distance and waited until [you]89-kelsey could see [me]2095-i as [the man]355-the man [I]2095-i really am . ”[2095-i] “ Why did n’t [you]2095-i say anything ? ”[2095-i] [I]2095-i tried , but also , fear got in the way . Pride took over a lot of times . [You]89-kelsey ’re not an easy shell to crack . [You]89-kelsey were very professional when [we]4166-we first met , so breaking through that wall was hard . ”[2095-i] “ Because of [Lottie]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Because of what [she]89-kelsey was doing with [Huxley]90-huxley . [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey had to do what [she]89-kelsey did , [both of [them]757-both of them]757-both of them did . Slightly unorthodox , but not only did [I]0-i understand , [I]0-i approved . But that meant [I]0-i had to show [[you]89-kelsey guys]2996-you guys that [we]4166-we were [n’t sisters looking for handouts]4169-n’t sisters looking for handouts , [you]89-kelsey know ? [I]0-i wanted to keep things as professional as possible . [I]0-i wanted to show [you]89-kelsey [we]4166-we were [legit businesswomen]4170-legit businesswomen . ”[0-i] “ There was no doubt that [you]0-i were , but [I]2095-i understand what [you]0-i ’re saying . ”[2095-i] “ And frankly , when [I]2095-i first saw [you]89-kelsey , [I]2095-i knew [you]89-kelsey were trouble . [I]2095-i thought . . . [God]92-god , [he]2103-he ’s so handsome . ”[2095-i] “ Did [you]0-i ? ”[2103-he] [he]2103-he asks , shock in [his]2103-he voice . [I]0-i nod against [his]2103-he chest . [I]0-i did . [I]0-i really thought [you]89-kelsey were almost too handsome to look at . [My]0-i romantic mind was reeling with possibilities , but [I]0-i put that to bed really quickly because [I]0-i ’d worked so hard to establish [my]0-i business , and working with [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises was a huge deal . [I]0-i did n’t want to mess that up with a crush . ”[0-i] “ A crush , no fucking way . [I]0-i do n’t believe that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i did . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back and tilt [my]0-i head so [I]0-i can look up at [him]2103-he . “ At first , it was a crush , but [I]0-i worked hard to interpret everything [you]89-kelsey said or did as annoying . That annoyance grew and [I]0-i was able to block out those original feelings and focus on the business . But with every kind thing [you]89-kelsey did , [I]0-i could feel [my]0-i original assessment of [you]89-kelsey becoming more prominent . ”[0-i] “ And what about [Derek]166-derek ? ”[0-i] “ What about [him]166-derek ? ”[0-i] “ Why did [you]0-i go out with [him]166-derek ? ”[0-i] “ Because [I]0-i was truly looking for [[my]0-i soulmate]374-my soulmate . ”[0-i] “ Never thought [I]0-i ’d be [that person]2709-that person ? ”[0-i] “ Never thought it was an option , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer honestly . “ Not just because of business , but because [I]0-i know [we]4173-we ’re different in so many ways . [You]89-kelsey ’re more experienced , [you]89-kelsey ’re more outgoing , [you]89-kelsey ’re more . . . [I]0-i felt [you]89-kelsey were out of [my]0-i league . ”[0-i] “ That ’s bullshit , ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his says , [his]2104-his voice not angry , more disbelieving . [His]2104-his hand slides over [my]0-i stomach and [his]2104-his thumb casually rubs against [my]0-i heated skin . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]2104-his ’m nowhere near [[your]89-kelsey stratosphere]4174-your stratosphere . Hell , [I]2104-his ’m lucky [you]89-kelsey even looked [my]2104-his way . ”[2104-his] “ Stop , [you]89-kelsey know that ’s not the truth . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his tilts [my]0-i head back and lifts [my]0-i chin so [my]0-i lips are at [his]2104-his disposal . [Babe]91-babe , it ’s the truth . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his leans down and presses a sweet kiss to [my]0-i lips . It ’s not long , but it ’s delicious and causes [me]0-i to groan as [he]2104-his leans away . “ Fuck , when [you]89-kelsey make that sound . . . ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his hand slides across [my]0-i stomach again , and this time , [his]2104-his thumb caresses the underside of [my]0-i breast briefly . “ Ask [me]2104-his something so [I]2104-his do n’t strip [you]0-i down and pull [you]0-i into the pool with [me]2104-his . ”[2104-his] The thought of that is incredibly appealing . Very appealing . So appealing that [I]0-i squirm under [his]2104-his touch , wanting [him]2104-his to “ accidentally ”[2104-his] touch [my]0-i breast again . But [we]2105-we ’re taking it slow . [We]2105-we ’re trying to not be all about lust . So , [I]0-i close [my]0-i eyes and block out the desire [I]0-i have for [this man]2781-this man while attempting to think of a question . “ Umm . . . what , uh . . . what ’s [your]0-i favorite . . . um . . . ”[2104-his] Position ? Way to be sucked off ? Sex toy ? [God]92-god , what ’s wrong with [me]0-i ? “ What ’s [my]2104-his favorite what ? ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his asks , [his]2104-his hand once again smoothing over [my]0-i stomach , [his]2104-his thumb dragging so close to [my]0-i breast , [my]0-i bare breast — thank [you]2107-you , crop top — that a low throb starts pulsing between [my]0-i legs . Body part ? Piece of lingerie ? Way to make [me]0-i come . . . “ God , [I]0-i do n’t know what [I]0-i was going to ask , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say breathlessly . “ Hmm , maybe [I]0-i can ask [you]2104-his something ? ”[0-i] “ It ’s going to be naughty , is n’t it ? ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his chuckles . “ Why would [you]0-i assume that ? ”[2104-his] Goosebumps erupt as [his]2104-his fingers dance across [my]0-i stomach again . [I]0-i gasp when [his]2104-his thumb connects with [my]0-i breast . [I]0-i press back against [his]2104-his chest . “ Because , [you]2104-his ’re attempting to turn [me]0-i on , and it ’s working . ”[0-i] “ Babe , [I]2104-his ’m not attempting to do anything . ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his thumb skims just below [my]0-i nipple . [Jonah]201-jonah , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper . The spot between [my]0-i thighs is now aching . “ Yes , [baby]2899-baby ? ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his asks , pressing a kiss on [my]0-i neck . [You]0-i know exactly what [you]0-i ’re doing . ”[2104-his] [I]2104-his do n’t . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his swipes [his]2104-his thumb over [my]0-i nipple again , and because there ’s fabric between [his]2104-his thumb and [my]0-i breast , [I]0-i do n’t get the intense sensation that [I]0-i want from [his]2104-his touch . [I]0-i just want to make [you]0-i comfortable . Are [you]0-i comfortable ? ”[0-i] “ Not anymore . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wiggle against [him]2104-his and rest [my]0-i head to the side , exposing more of [my]0-i neck . “ Shame . How can [I]2104-his make [you]0-i more comfortable ? ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his lips kiss up the column of [my]0-i neck , gentle , light pecks , leaving a trail of chills along [my]0-i arms . [You]0-i know what [you]0-i can do . ”[2104-his] “ Unfortunately , [I]2104-his ’m at a loss . ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his lips ride close to [my]0-i ear as [he]2104-his seductively says , [You]0-i ’re going to have to tell [me]2104-his . . . or show [me]2104-his . ”[2104-his] God , [he]2104-his ’s tempting [me]0-i . [He]2104-his ’s giving [me]0-i the option to explore . And [I]0-i desperately want to explore . Just a little teasing . Just a little relief . [I]0-i move [my]0-i hand to the nape of [his]2104-his neck and anchor [myself]0-i to [him]2104-his as [my]0-i other hand grips the one that ’s resting on [my]0-i exposed stomach . On a deep breath , [I]0-i bring it under [my]0-i shirt and rest it just below [my]0-i breast . [I]0-i feel [him]2104-his harden against [my]0-i back and that ’s more of a turn - on than where [his]2104-his actual hand is . Knowing [I]0-i can do that to [him]2104-his , that [I]0-i can turn [him]2104-his on as much as [he]2104-his does [me]0-i . [This man who ’s unruly , who ’s sexy , who ’s someone [I]0-i never thought would look [my]0-i way]2108-this man who ’s unruly , who ’s sexy , who ’s someone i never thought would look my way . . . [I]0-i can make [him]2104-his lose control . It makes [me]0-i not only feel powerful , but also incredibly desirable , and [I]0-i ca n’t recall the last time [I]0-i actually felt that , if ever . “ Tell [me]2104-his what [you]0-i want , ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his whispers . [I]2104-his want to know what [you]0-i ’d do to [me]2104-his if [I]2104-his were naked , in [[your]0-i pool]4176-your pool . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his groans into [my]0-i ear , and [his]2104-his erection becomes even more prominent against [my]0-i backside . [I]0-i encourage [his]2104-his thumb to drag over [my]0-i bare nipple , and [he]2104-his does just that , causing [me]0-i to clench [my]0-i teeth . That feels . . . so good . The pulsing between [my]0-i legs becomes heavy , needy , and [my]0-i legs widen , even though [he]2104-his ’s nowhere near them . “ If [you]0-i were naked in [[my]2104-his pool]4161-my pool , first , [I]2104-his ’d make [you]0-i dunk [yourself]0-i completely so [I]2104-his could watch the water droplets roll off [your]0-i amazing tits . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his squeezes [my]0-i breast and [I]0-i moan against [his]2104-his hold . “ The fucking sexiest tits [I]2104-his ’ve ever seen . And [I]2104-his fucking mean that . Just big enough for [my]2104-his hands , perky , with these hard nipples that drive [me]2104-his nuts . And [you]0-i ’re so responsive when [I]2104-his touch them . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his rolls [my]0-i nipple between [his]2104-his fingers and [I]0-i groan before lifting [my]0-i shirt completely , exposing both breasts for [him]2104-his . “ Fuck , [baby]2899-baby . [You]0-i make [me]2104-his so goddamn hard . Do [you]0-i feel that ? ”[2104-his] [I]0-i do , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [I]0-i love that [you]2104-his get hard just touching [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [You]2104-his have no fucking clue . ”[2104-his] While one of [his]2104-his hands plays with [my]0-i nipple , the other drags over [my]0-i stomach again , to where the waistband of [my]0-i pants meets [my]0-i skin . “ But if [you]2899-baby were naked , in [the pool]2688-the pool , [I]2104-his would n’t just be touching [you]2899-baby like this . [I]2104-his ’d be exploring [your]2899-baby slick , wet skin . [I]2104-his ’d lay [you]2899-baby across the edge of [the endless pool]4180-the endless pool , where the water falls over . ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his fingers stroke the elastic of [my]0-i sweatpants . [His]2104-his other hand moves from one breast to the other , and [he]2104-his casually caresses [my]0-i skin . Featherlike touches that drive [me]0-i crazy , but do n’t quite push [me]0-i over the edge . [I]2104-his ’d start at [your]2899-baby tits . [I]2104-his ’d suck on [your]2899-baby nipples , envisioning what it would be like to slip [my]2104-his dick between [your]2899-baby breasts and fuck them . ”[2104-his] [I]0-i want [him]2104-his to do that . The thought of it makes [me]0-i even hotter . So hot that these sweatpants feel stifling now . “ And then [I]2104-his ’d move to [your]2899-baby stomach , to just above [your]2899-baby pussy . ”[2104-his] [He]2104-his presses [his]2104-his fingers against the spot [he]2104-his ’s talking about , above the fabric of [my]0-i pants . “ And [I]2104-his ’d tease [you]2899-baby , over and over again with [my]2104-his tongue until [you]2899-baby tug on [my]2104-his hair so hard that it ’s painful . ”[2104-his] [My]0-i fingers inch toward [his]2104-his hair as [he]2104-his releases [my]0-i breast and moves [his]2104-his hand to [my]0-i hip , where [he]2104-his slips [his]2104-his fingers under the elastic of [my]0-i pants . [You]0-i ’re not wearing underwear ? ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his asks [me]0-i . [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Did n’t think [I]0-i needed to . ”[0-i] [You]0-i fucking tease , ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his whispers , spreading [his]2104-his hands wide so [his]2104-his thumbs rest just above [my]0-i pubic bone . Fuck . [Me]0-i . [I]0-i squirm against [his]2104-his touch , but [he]2104-his stills [me]0-i as [he]2104-his says , “ When [I]2104-his knew [you]0-i could n’t take it anymore , [I]2104-his ’d part [you]0-i with two fingers and eat [your]0-i pussy . Fuck , [I]2104-his can taste it right now , sweet and salty , fucking delicious on [my]2104-his tongue . ”[2104-his] [His]2104-his thumbs drag inward and then pull back as [my]0-i pelvis rises . [I]0-i grip [his]2104-his neck tighter . [You]0-i ’re making [me]0-i so wet . ”[0-i] “ Good , ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his says , pushing [my]0-i pants down until they just barely cover [me]0-i . Needing more contact , [I]0-i lift the hem of [my]0-i shirt up and over [my]0-i head , leaving [me]0-i topless and resting on [his]2104-his chest . [You]0-i want so much more , do n’t [you]0-i , [baby]2899-baby ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper , bringing one of [my]0-i hands to [my]0-i breasts . [My]0-i touch is nowhere near like [his]2104-his , and all it does is frustrate [me]0-i . “ Please , do something . ”[2104-his] “ But [I]2104-his ’m not done telling [my]2104-his story , ”[2104-his] [he]2104-his says before dragging [his]2104-his tongue over [my]0-i neck . Unsure of what to do with [my]0-i hands , [I]0-i reach behind [me]0-i and hold on to [him]2104-his one more time , wishing [I]0-i could stroke [his]2104-his stiff cock pressed against [me]0-i , and then listen to [him]2104-his moan while [I]0-i pleasure [him]2104-his . [I]0-i ’d fuck [you]2104-his with [my]0-i tongue , over and over again until [you]2104-his ’re begging [me]0-i to stop , and then , and only then , would [I]0-i lower [you]2104-his against the edge , prop [your]2104-his ass up , and eat [you]2104-his out all over again . [I]0-i ’d claim [your]2104-his cunt , make sure [you]2104-his never forget who makes [you]2104-his come the way [I]0-i do . ”[0-i] [My]0-i legs shiver . [My]0-i body shakes . And [I]0-i shift , causing [my]0-i pants to fall off the curve of [my]0-i ass and past [my]0-i pussy , exposing [me]0-i . [I]0-i spread [my]0-i legs and wiggle the pants down until they ’re at [my]0-i knees . Then [I]0-i shimmy out of them and leave [myself]0-i completely naked on the lounger with [him]2109-he . [Here]2716-here [I]2109-he thought [we]4183-we were taking things slow , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he says as [he]2109-he drags the backs of [his]2109-he fingers up [my]0-i stomach — not the direction [I]0-i want [him]2109-he to go . [You]0-i ca n’t turn [me]2109-he on like this and expect [me]2109-he to just sit here , unfazed . ”[2109-he] [I]0-i did n’t . [I]0-i was hoping this is where it would end up , with [you]0-i writhing for more . Now , the question is , will [I]0-i let [you]0-i come ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause and turn so [I]0-i can look at [him]2109-he . “ Do n’t [you]0-i dare . ”[0-i] [He]2109-he just smiles . [You]0-i realize [I]2109-he can make [myself]2109-he come , right ? ”[2109-he] [I]0-i go to reach between [my]0-i legs , but [he]2109-he takes [my]0-i arms , shifts them behind [my]0-i back , and then locks [me]0-i against [his]2109-he chest so quickly that [I]0-i do n’t have a moment to breathe . [I]0-i try to close [my]0-i legs , but [he]2109-he loops [his]2109-he ankles over and under [mine]0-i , spreading [me]0-i even wider . [I]0-i ’m trapped . Pinned down . And [I]0-i ’ve never been more aroused in [my]0-i life . [I]0-i know if [I]0-i told [him]2109-he to stop , [he]2109-he would . [I]0-i know if [I]0-i told [him]2109-he [I]0-i did n’t want this , [he]2109-he ’d redress [me]0-i and return to [our]2110-our conversation . But [I]0-i do n’t want that . [I]0-i want this . [I]0-i want [him]2109-he owning [me]0-i . Controlling [me]0-i . Teasing [me]0-i . “ Now what are [you]0-i going to do ? ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he asks . [I]0-i let out a deep sigh as [I]0-i lean into [his]2109-he hold , not fighting [him]2109-he . [I]0-i guess listen to [you]2109-he . ”[0-i] [Good girl]2902-good girl , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he whispers and then [he]2109-he draws lazy circles on [my]0-i inner thigh . “ Now , as [I]2109-he was saying , once [I]2109-he fucked [you]0-i with [my]2109-he tongue again , [I]2109-he ’d let [you]0-i catch [your]0-i breath before [I]2109-he brought [you]0-i over to the steps . Then [I]2109-he ’d sit down on the top step so [my]2109-he cock that ’s begging for [you]0-i is above water . ”[2109-he] [I]0-i wet [my]0-i lips . “ And [I]2109-he ’d demand that [you]2109-he return the favor . ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he lips dance over [my]0-i cheek . “ Would [you]0-i ? ”[2109-he] “ No question , [I]2109-he would . [I]2109-he want [my]2109-he mouth on [your]0-i cock now . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he groans and drags [his]2109-he fingers over the spot just above where [I]0-i want [him]2109-he . [He]2109-he toys with [me]0-i there , dipping lower and lower until [he]2109-he ’s playing with [my]0-i slit . [I]0-i try to move , try to get [him]2109-he where [I]0-i want [him]2109-he , but [he]2109-he holds [me]0-i still , [his]2109-he strong body taking control . “ Tell [me]2109-he how [you]0-i ’d suck [me]2109-he in the pool . ”[2109-he] [My]0-i lungs feel heavy as they work harder for air . [I]2109-he would . . . [I]2109-he ’d have [you]0-i hold [my]2109-he hair . [I]2109-he ’d expect [you]0-i to grip it hard , guiding [me]2109-he as [I]2109-he lower [my]2109-he mouth to the tip . [I]2109-he ’d swirl [my]2109-he tongue , around and around . ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he pelvis moves against [my]0-i back , the movement so small that it ca n’t possibly do more than drive [him]2109-he nuts . “ And then [I]2109-he ’d ask [you]0-i to spread [your]0-i legs so [I]2109-he could play with [your]0-i balls while [I]2109-he take [your]0-i length all the way to the back of [my]2109-he throat . ”[2109-he] [Baby]268-baby . . . ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he whispers . “ Would [you]268-baby gag ? ”[2109-he] [I]2109-he would . But [I]2109-he ’d do it all over again . ”[2109-he] “ Fuck , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he breathes as [his]2109-he fingers slide over one side of [my]0-i pussy , but never dip inside . [I]2109-he ’d play with [your]0-i taint . [I]2109-he ’d drag [my]2109-he fingers over the seam of [your]0-i scrotum . [I]2109-he ’d lick the length of [your]0-i cock , and then repeat that until [you]0-i tug on [my]2109-he hair , showing [me]2109-he [you]0-i ca n’t take it anymore . ”[2109-he] [Your]0-i devil tongue would make [me]2109-he want to come sooner than [I]2109-he prefer . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he dips [his]2109-he finger to [my]0-i arousal , barely touches [my]0-i clit , and then removes [his]2109-he hand completely , bringing it back to [my]0-i stomach . “ Nooo , ”[0-i] [I]0-i groan . [JP]87-jp , do n’t move [your]87-jp hand . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]0-i trying to tell [me]2109-he what to do ? ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he asks as [he]2109-he lightly moves [his]2109-he fingers over [my]0-i breasts , circling [my]0-i areolas , but never giving [me]0-i what [I]0-i want . “ Yes , [you]0-i ’re making [me]2109-he so hot , so wet . ”[2109-he] “ Good . ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he hand moves back between [my]0-i legs and rests there , [his]2109-he palm cupping [me]0-i , [his]2109-he fingers present , but not doing anything . “ Would [you]0-i let [me]2109-he come in [your]0-i mouth ? ”[2109-he] “ Yes . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he presses down on one finger , then the other , switching between the two and driving [me]0-i so fucking crazy that [I]0-i feel sweat drip down [my]0-i back . “ Would [you]0-i swallow ? ”[2109-he] “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , [my]0-i voice pleading in desperation . [Good girl]2902-good girl , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he says , then [he]2109-he spreads [me]0-i and presses two fingers to [my]0-i clit . “ Yes , ”[2109-he] [I]0-i cry out , [my]0-i chest arching as [I]0-i ’m granted some relief . [He]2109-he moves [his]2109-he fingers , up and down , up and down , the motion so full of what [I]0-i need to relieve this growing , gnawing pressure between [my]0-i legs , that [I]0-i relax against [his]2109-he chest , against [his]2109-he pressing erection , and just let [him]2109-he take over . “ Right there , ”[0-i] [I]0-i pant . “ Please do n’t stop . ”[0-i] [I]2109-he would n’t come in [your]0-i mouth , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he says , bringing [me]0-i back to the fantasy . [I]2109-he would n’t want to . [I]2109-he ’d bring [myself]2109-he right to the edge until [I]2109-he pulled on [your]0-i hair , tugging [you]0-i off [my]2109-he cock . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he rubs faster , and everything around [me]0-i fades to black as [I]0-i feel [my]0-i body climb closer and closer . This unbridled pulse throbs up [my]0-i legs , down [my]0-i arms , and collects between [my]0-i legs . It ’s there . [I]0-i ’m right there . “ Yes . Oh God , [I]2109-he ’m going to — ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he removes [his]2109-he hand and rests it on [my]0-i stomach , unmoving . “ What are [you]2109-he doing ? ”[2109-he] [I]0-i cry out in absolute shock and pain . “ Listen closely , [baby]2899-baby . . . are [you]2109-he listening ? ”[0-i] Barely . [My]0-i body is internally roaring so loudly that [I]0-i can barely hear the light whip of wind rustling through the palm leaves above [us]2111-us . “ Y - yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i stammer out . “ Good . This is where the fun begins . ”[0-i] “ What fun ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , [my]0-i orgasm starting to fade away , leaving [me]0-i with this hollow feeling in the pit of [my]0-i stomach . . . something more maddening than anything [I]0-i ’ve ever experienced . “ This is where [I]2109-he teach [you]2109-he about listening to [me]2109-he . ”[2109-he] “ Listening to what ? ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he drags [his]2109-he finger over [my]0-i body again , up to [my]0-i breasts , where [he]2109-he draws tight circles , and then back to [my]0-i stomach . “ This body , when it ’s naked , belongs to [me]2109-he . Do [you]2109-he agree ? ”[2109-he] [I]0-i bite [my]0-i lower lip and nod . [He]2109-he owns [me]0-i . That ’s undeniable , especially in this moment . “ And when [you]0-i ’re naked , not only do [I]2109-he own [your]0-i body , but [I]2109-he tell it when it can come , and [you]0-i ’re not allowed to come yet . ”[2109-he] “ Why not ? ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he rolls [my]0-i nipple between [his]2109-he fingers . [I]2109-he suggest [you]0-i do n’t question [me]2109-he , unless [you]0-i want to lie here all night , being teased with no relief . ”[2109-he] [My]0-i lips seal shut because [I]0-i believe [he]2109-he would do that . [I]0-i believe [he]2109-he would let the only pleasure [I]0-i receive be from the wind gently lapping against [my]0-i arousal . “ Sorry , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [His]2109-he lips land on [my]0-i cheek , just in front of [my]0-i ear . “ It ’s okay , [baby]2899-baby . [You]2899-baby ’re learning . Tell [me]2109-he , how are [you]2899-baby feeling ? ”[2109-he] “ Frustrated . ”[2109-he] “ Perfect . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he drags [his]2109-he hand back down [my]0-i stomach and once again slips two fingers against [my]0-i clit . [I]0-i sigh into [his]2109-he touch and relax against [his]2109-he chest as [he]2109-he holds [me]0-i in place . “ Now , back to the pool . [I]2109-he tug [you]2899-baby off [my]2109-he cock , because [I]2109-he ’m not ready to come , not until [I]2109-he own [your]2899-baby pussy . How would [you]2899-baby want [me]2109-he to take [you]2899-baby ? ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he fingers cause [me]0-i to climb again , and it happens faster than before . [My]0-i mind is fixated on what [he]2109-he ’s doing with [his]2109-he fingers as [his]2109-he other hand moves up to [my]0-i breasts . [He]2109-he circles [my]0-i nipples , teasing [me]0-i , taunting [me]0-i , driving [my]0-i desire for [him]2109-he higher and higher . “ Yes , ”[0-i] [I]0-i moan . “ Right there . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he snaps [his]2109-he hand away and grips [my]0-i chin , forcing [me]0-i to look at [him]2109-he as [he]2109-he leans over [my]0-i shoulder . [I]2109-he asked [you]0-i a question , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[2109-he] [My]0-i mind reels . [My]0-i heart hammers . [My]0-i legs go completely numb . [I]2109-he ’m . . . [I]2109-he ’m sorry . [I]2109-he was n’t listening . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he smirks and rests a gentle kiss on [my]0-i lips . “ At least [you]0-i ’re honest . ”[2109-he] And then [he]2109-he slips [his]2109-he fingers into [my]0-i mouth . [I]0-i taste [myself]0-i , and [I]0-i have no idea what comes over [me]0-i , but [I]0-i suck on [his]2109-he index finger , and the most satisfied look crosses [his]2109-he face . “ Fuck , [baby]2899-baby . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he starts fingering [me]0-i again , and this time , [his]2109-he pace is faster . “ Now , answer [me]2109-he , how would [you]0-i want [me]2109-he to fuck [you]0-i in the pool ? ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he fingers fly over [my]0-i clit , massaging , applying the perfect pressure , driving [me]0-i wild with need . Breathlessly , [I]0-i answer , “ From behind . ”[0-i] “ Behind ? ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he removes [his]2109-he hand , and [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut so tightly that [I]0-i almost feel tears spring forth . [You]2109-he like it from behind ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . [He]2109-he tweaks [my]0-i nipple and [my]0-i chest flies against [his]2109-he hand as [my]0-i head whips to the side on a groan . [I]0-i do , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [I]0-i love it from behind . ”[0-i] “ What else do [you]0-i like ? Do [you]0-i like how [I]0-i ’m edging [you]0-i ? Bringing [you]0-i so close to [your]0-i orgasm and then taking it away ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No . [I]0-i want relief . ”[0-i] “ But , [baby]2899-baby , [we]4190-we ’re taking it slow . This is slow . ”[2109-he] “ This is blissful torture . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he rolls [my]0-i nipple a few more times before releasing [my]0-i breast . Once again , [he]2109-he removes any touch and lets [me]0-i lie there , trapped in [his]2109-he embrace . Like a feather , [he]2109-he slowly and lightly runs [his]2109-he coarse beard over [my]0-i neck , across [my]0-i cheek , and back down again , [his]2109-he breath tickling [me]0-i right before [he]2109-he presses the faintest of kisses to [my]0-i shoulder . “ How do [you]0-i want to come ? ”[2109-he] [I]0-i do n’t care , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Just let [me]275-fingers . ”[275-fingers] [Fingers]275-fingers stroke down [my]0-i inner thigh and then up to [my]0-i entrance . [I]0-i tilt [my]0-i pelvis up as best as [I]0-i can , and [he]2109-he slips two fingers inside of [me]0-i . [I]0-i wish that was [your]2109-he cock , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [Me]0-i too , but [I]0-i ’m honoring what [you]2109-he want . [I]0-i ’m just having fun touching [you]2109-he . ”[0-i] [He]2109-he moves [his]2109-he fingers in and out , but it is n’t enough , it ’s not even close to enough , and [he]2109-he knows it as [I]0-i writhe under [his]2109-he touch . “ Please tell [me]0-i [you]2109-he ’ll let [me]0-i come . Please , [JP]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ One thing [you]2109-he need to know , [Kelsey”—he]276-kelsey”—he[2109-he] kisses [my]0-i cheek—“is that [I]2109-he ’ll always let [you]2109-he come . If [you]2109-he trust [me]2109-he with [your]2109-he body , [you]2109-he ’ll always come . ”[2109-he] Then [he]2109-he presses [his]2109-he thumb to [my]0-i clit . “ Yes , ”[2109-he] [I]0-i cry out . “ Please , please do n’t pull away . ”[0-i] The buildup . The pressure . The numbness in [my]0-i body since [he]2109-he started this is fluctuating in waves . Consuming [me]0-i , then fading , consuming [me]0-i more , then fading less , and now consuming [me]0-i so much that [I]0-i ’m so close , so freaking close . . . [I]0-i ’m . . . [I]0-i ’m going . . . ”[0-i] “ Not yet . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he moves [his]2109-he hand and [I]0-i cry out in frustration . [Jonah]201-jonah . . . please . ”[2109-he] Tears spring to [my]0-i eyes and [he]2109-he twists [my]0-i chin to find [my]0-i lips . [He]2109-he parts them and open - mouth kisses [me]0-i as [he]2109-he once again presses two fingers to [my]0-i clit and rubs it over and over again . [I]0-i ’m so high on the feeling of [him]2109-he , so over - the - top turned on that [I]0-i feel [my]0-i body float into a euphoric state . [I]2109-he fucking love it when [you]0-i say [my]2109-he name , ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he murmurs against [my]0-i lips . Removing [his]2109-he mouth , [he]2109-he grips [my]0-i jaw and whispers into [my]0-i ear , [You]0-i may come . ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he fingers fly over [my]0-i clit , [his]2109-he permission feeling like a wall has been broken . [I]0-i relax into [his]2109-he touch , into the overwhelming rapture that ’s throbbing through [my]0-i veins . Pulse after pulse , [I]0-i ’m driven higher and higher until [I]0-i feel [my]0-i orgasm crest . Just a few more strokes . “ Please do n’t pull away . [I]2109-he ’m . . . oh God , [I]2109-he ’m so close . ”[2109-he] [I]2109-he wo n’t . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he kisses [my]0-i neck . “ Come , [baby]2899-baby . ”[2109-he] [His]2109-he fingers move wildly over [my]0-i clit , [my]0-i stomach bottoms out , [my]0-i legs feel like they ’re floating , and with one last pass of [his]2109-he fingers , [I]0-i ’m coming , crying out [his]2109-he name over and over again as wave after wave of pleasure rips through [me]0-i . “ Fuck . . . yes , [Jonah]201-jonah . Oh [my]0-i God . Oh fuck . . . oh fuck . ”[0-i] [My]0-i pelvis flies up and when [I]0-i think [my]0-i orgasm is going to fade , it does n’t . It keeps pulling [me]0-i in , drawing [me]0-i into a ball of nothing until tears fall down [my]0-i cheeks and [I]0-i fall into a lifeless version of [myself]0-i , completely and utterly sated . On a deep breath , [he]2109-he removes [his]2109-he hand , arms , and legs , and then lifts [me]0-i into a cradled position , holding [me]0-i close as [I]0-i rest [my]0-i face on [his]2109-he chest . Lovingly , [he]2109-he strokes [my]0-i hair , pressing gentle kisses to [my]0-i forehead . Out of nowhere , [he]2109-he pulls a blanket over the two of [us]2112-us and holds [me]0-i tight . “ Are [you]0-i okay ? ”[2109-he] [he]2109-he asks in a soft voice , [the demanding , controlling man nowhere to be seen]2113-the demanding , controlling man nowhere to be seen . [I]0-i ’m . . . perfect , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer . [I]0-i ’m aware that [I]0-i ’m naked , in [his]2109-he arms . [I]0-i ’m also aware that [his]2109-he cock is rigid beneath [me]0-i . But when [I]0-i try to move out of [his]2109-he arms , [he]2109-he does n’t let [me]0-i , so instead , [I]0-i let [him]2109-he cradle [me]0-i . [You]0-i ’re easily [the sexiest , most outstandingly gorgeous woman [I]2109-he ’ve ever fucking held in [my]2109-he arms]4192-the sexiest , most outstandingly gorgeous woman i ’ve ever fucking held in my arms . And [I]2109-he ’m still in awe [you]2109-he chose [me]2109-he . ”[2109-he] [I]0-i want to ask how [he]2109-he could be so blind . [I]0-i want to tell [him]2109-he it was [him]2109-he all along , but [I]0-i ca n’t , because [I]0-i know it took [me]0-i a second to realize how [I]0-i feel about [him]2109-he . But now that [I]0-i know , [I]0-i ca n’t possibly ever see [myself]0-i with [anyone else]358-anyone else . [I]0-i ’m so connected to [you]2109-he , [JP]87-jp . And [I]0-i do n’t want to scare [you]2109-he , but . . . [I]0-i really like [you]2109-he , and [I]0-i know deep down to [my]0-i very core , that [you]2109-he have the potential to absolutely destroy [me]0-i . There would be no recovering . ”[0-i] [I]2109-he ’ll never hurt [you]2109-he . ”[2109-he] [He]2109-he kisses [my]0-i head . “ Never , [baby]2899-baby . ”[2109-he]

* * *

The sliding glass door shuts and [Lottie]89-kelsey spins to [me]0-i . With desperate eyes , [she]89-kelsey whispers , “ Tell [me]89-kelsey everything . ”[89-kelsey] Last night , after [JP]87-jp finally let [me]0-i come , [we]2115-we spent the rest of the evening holding hands , talking , and casually organizing [[his]87-jp kitchen]2116-his kitchen . [He]87-jp kissed [me]0-i every chance [he]87-jp got , and [I]0-i swooned with every glance , every whispered word [he]87-jp said to [me]0-i . [I]0-i left [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place feeling 100 percent smitten . When [I]0-i woke up this morning , [he]87-jp was at [my]0-i door with coffee . [He]87-jp made [me]0-i come before taking a shower , and then when [I]0-i tried to make [him]87-jp come , [he]87-jp would n’t let [me]0-i and reminded [me]0-i [he]87-jp ’s taking things slow . Which [I]0-i think means , [he]87-jp ’s showing [me]0-i this is n’t about [his]87-jp lustful needs . [He]87-jp wants [my]0-i heart , [my]0-i mind . The rest will come later . And when [we]2118-we were in [the office]548-the office , going over the solar power plans for the Angelica , [he]87-jp ’d smooth [his]87-jp hand over [my]0-i thigh , steal glances , and occasionally link [our]2118-we fingers together . [He]87-jp ’s attentive , loving , caring , and demanding . Everything [I]0-i ’ve ever wanted , and it still feels too good to be true . [We]2118-we were in the middle of talking about solar panel placement when [Huxley]90-huxley came in and asked [us]2118-we to dinner at [[his]87-jp house]911-his house . [I]0-i was n’t sure if [JP]87-jp had told [[his]87-jp brothers]1099-his brothers or not , but it seemed like [Huxley]90-huxley was very much in the know , and it did n’t seem like [he]87-jp minded . Now that [I]0-i ’m [here]2716-here , at [[their]1099-his brothers place]2123-their place , [I]0-i know for a fact [he]87-jp does n’t care . [He]87-jp still wears a calculating gaze , but it ’s directed at [JP]87-jp , not [me]0-i . Leaning in close to [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister , [I]0-i say , [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]0-i ’m so infatuated with [the man]355-the man . ”[0-i] “ Oh [my]0-i God , [I]0-i can tell . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [you]89-kelsey this happy . The smile on [your]89-kelsey face , oh [my]0-i God , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . . . it makes [me]0-i so freaking full of joy . ”[0-i] [He]355-the man makes [me]89-kelsey happy . [He]355-the man ’s so . . . [God]92-god , [I]89-kelsey do n’t know how to say it . There used to be such constant bickering and irritation , but the moment the dam broke , [he]355-the man became this overprotective alpha that wo n’t let anything hurt [me]89-kelsey . [He]355-the man possesses [me]89-kelsey in all the right ways , but [he]355-the man ’s also all about [me]89-kelsey being independent and building [my]89-kelsey business . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey nods . “ It ’s the Cane way . Do n’t [you]0-i remember how [Huxley]90-huxley and [I]89-kelsey were at [each other]333-each other ’s throats ? And then , [we]2127-we just . . . slipped into [each other]333-each other and it ’s been hard to breathe without [him]355-the man since . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance toward [the house]413-the house , where [the boys]598-the boys are putting together dinner , most likely talking about [us]2127-we . “ It ’s been a few days , and [I]0-i can feel [myself]0-i . . . [God]92-god , [I]0-i can feel [myself]0-i falling for [him]355-the man , hard . ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey quietly claps the tips of [her]89-kelsey fingers . “ Ohhhh , this makes [me]89-kelsey so happy . [I]89-kelsey just knew it . [I]89-kelsey knew [[you]598-the boys two]3018-you two would be perfect for [each other]333-each other . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i ’m just terrified that something is going to go wrong . Someway , somehow , this is all too good to be true . ”[0-i] “ It ’s not . Do n’t think that way . [He]355-the man really likes [you]0-i . [I]0-i can tell from the way [he]355-the man looks at [you]0-i , the way [he]355-the man sits near [you]0-i , and how [he]355-the man rests [his]355-the man hand on [your]0-i thigh . [He]355-the man ’s infatuated , [he]355-the man has been for a while . This is it , [Kelse]96-kelse , this is what [you]0-i ’ve been waiting for . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i teeth over [my]0-i bottom lip and say , [I]0-i think it is , too . Even before [we]4199-we got together , when [we]4199-we were just hanging out as what [I]0-i thought was [friends]2684-friends , [he]355-the man understood [me]0-i . [He]355-the man supported [me]0-i . [He]355-the man knew what [I]0-i needed . [I]0-i ’m just . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i press [my]0-i hands to [my]0-i cheeks . [I]0-i like [him]355-the man so much . ”[0-i] The sliding glass door opens and [the boys]598-the boys walk out holding large , wooden charcuterie boards stacked full of crackers , cheeses , meats , jams , spreads , and fruit . [They]598-the boys set the trays down on the coffee table in front of [us]2129-us , and then [JP]87-jp takes a seat next to [me]0-i , slipping [his]87-jp arm behind [me]0-i before leaning in and tilting [my]0-i face toward [him]87-jp to place a gentle kiss on [my]0-i lips . When [he]87-jp pulls away , [he]87-jp whispers , “ Talk about [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i ca n’t hide [my]0-i smile . “ Yes . ”[87-jp] “ Good things ? ”[87-jp] “ Great things . ”[87-jp] [Huxley]90-huxley , look at them , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey coos . [God]92-god , [I]89-kelsey ’m so happy right now . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i catch [Huxley]90-huxley ’s glare toward [JP]87-jp as [he]87-jp says , [I]87-jp ’m happy , too . ”[87-jp] But [he]87-jp does n’t look happy . Not even a little . Later that night , when [JP]87-jp is walking [me]0-i to [[my]0-i apartment]401-my apartment door , [I]0-i ask [him]87-jp , “ Is everything okay with [Huxley]90-huxley ? ”[0-i] “ What do [you]0-i mean ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks . When [we]2131-us reach [my]0-i door , [he]87-jp takes [my]0-i keys from [me]0-i and unlocks it for [me]0-i . [He]87-jp holds the door open and [I]0-i walk in , with [him]87-jp following closely behind . [He]87-jp did n’t look happy . [I]87-jp know [he]87-jp said [he]87-jp was happy for [us]2131-us , but [I]87-jp ca n’t help but think [he]87-jp might be upset . Is [he]87-jp mad at [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp shuts the door , then leans against it . [He]87-jp pulls [me]0-i in close . Holding [my]0-i hands , [he]87-jp says , [He]87-jp ’s happy for [us]2131-us , but [he]87-jp ’s basically shooting off warning signs to [me]87-jp . [He]87-jp does n’t want [me]87-jp to hurt [you]0-i . [I]87-jp assured [him]87-jp that was n’t going to happen , but [he]87-jp ’s more protective of [you]0-i than [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] “ Oh . So , [he]87-jp ’s not mad at [me]87-jp ? ”[87-jp] “ Not even a little . [I]2132-me ’m sure if [you]0-i ask [Lottie]89-kelsey tomorrow , [she]89-kelsey ’ll confirm that . As [he]87-jp explained to [me]2132-me in [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen , [Lottie]89-kelsey is [his]87-jp everything , and what ’s important to [her]89-kelsey is important to [him]87-jp . Apparently , [you]0-i trump [me]2132-me now , and [honestly”—he]277-honestly”—he[2132-me] rubs the side of [his]2132-me jaw—“I’m okay with that . [He]87-jp gave [me]87-jp the speech not to hurt [you]0-i or [he]87-jp ’ll hurt [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i smile at that . “ Well , look at [me]0-i having [a big brother]4202-a big brother . ”[0-i] “ That ’s exactly what [he]87-jp is , and [I]87-jp hate to admit it , but [I]87-jp might love [him]87-jp even more for looking out for [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] “ So , does [he]87-jp approve ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp nods . “ With caution . [He]87-jp likes the idea of [us]2133-us , but [he]87-jp wants to make sure [I]87-jp ’m in this . [I]87-jp told [him]87-jp [I]87-jp was , that [I]87-jp was one hundred percent invested in making [you]0-i happy , and that was n’t ever going to change . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i heart flutters and [I]0-i close the minimal space between [us]2133-us . [I]0-i run [my]0-i hands up [his]87-jp chest , to [his]87-jp jaw , then pull [him]87-jp closer to [my]0-i mouth . [You]87-jp make [me]0-i happy — [you]87-jp know that ? ”[0-i] “ Same , [babe]2728-babe . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp wraps [his]87-jp hand around the back of [my]0-i head and very slowly kisses [me]0-i , the delicious feeling of [his]87-jp lips spreading through [my]0-i veins , all the way to the tips of [my]0-i toes . Yup , [I]0-i ’m falling so hard for [this man]2781-this man . Harder than [I]0-i ’ve ever fallen before .

[Chapter Twenty

JP]87-jp

“ This is absolutely breathtaking , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as [she]89-kelsey takes in the 360 - degree view of [the [San Francisco]21-san francisco skyline]2135-the san francisco skyline . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t believe [you]0-i flew [us]4204-us back up here for [our]4204-us first official date . ”[89-kelsey] “ Felt only fitting . ”[89-kelsey] With the meetings piling up on [my]0-i calendar , [I]0-i knew waiting until the weekend would be best , and [I]0-i knew [I]0-i wanted it [here]2716-here . [I]0-i wanted to spoil [her]2137-her . [I]0-i sent [her]2137-her a green , off - the - shoulder dress that [I]0-i personally picked out because [I]0-i knew it would accentuate everything [I]0-i like about [her]2137-her[her]2137-her curves , the color of [her]2137-her eyes , and [her]2137-her slender shoulders . [I]0-i had [someone]364-someone do [her]2137-her hair and makeup at [[her]2137-her apartment]2139-her apartment . When [I]0-i picked [her]2137-her up , [I]0-i blindfolded [her]2137-her and brought [her]2137-her to [the airport]4118-the airport , slipping off [her]2137-her blindfold as [we]2141-we boarded [the plane]3171-the plane . [I]0-i kept [my]0-i eyes on [her]2137-her the entirety of the short flight up , happy to see [her]2137-her beaming with excitement . [I]0-i did n’t tell [her]2137-her a thing until [the driver]653-the driver pulled up to [Parkside]62-parkside and opened the door for [her]2137-her . Nothing feels more fitting than being at [Parkside]62-parkside with [her]2137-her when [I]0-i can finally call [her]2137-her [mine]0-i . [I]2137-her ’ve had [the chef]2906-the chef create a special menu for [us]4206-we . [I]2137-her hope that ’s okay . ”[2137-her] [She]2137-her smiles — fuck , [I]0-i love that smile so much . “ That sounds amazing . ”[2137-her] Then [she]2137-her leans in and says , “ Not to put too much pressure on [you]0-i , but any chance [we]4206-we can get some honey cake before [we]4206-we leave [San Francisco]21-san francisco ? ”[2137-her] “ One step ahead of [you]0-i , [babe]2728-babe . ”[2137-her] [She]2137-her tilts [her]2137-her head , such joy in [her]2137-her eyes . [You]0-i really do know how to woo [a girl]356-a girl , do n’t [you]0-i ? ”[2137-her] “ Only [you]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer just as [our]2144-our first course comes out . A bowl is placed in front of each of [us]2144-our as well as a traditional Melamine Asian soup spoon . Then , with a cloth draped over [his]2145-his arm , [[our]2144-our waiter]2146-our waiter says , [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , [I]2145-his ’d like to present [your]2144-our first course . An Asian curried soup with sweet potatoes , chickpeas , and coconut milk , artfully seasoned with Malaysian flavors . Enjoy . ”[2145-his] [He]2145-his leaves [us]2144-our in [the private room reserved for [me]0-i and]2147-the private room reserved for me and [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers . [Whispering]279-whispering , [Kelsey]89-kelsey says , [I]279-whispering think this is the fanciest restaurant experience of [my]279-whispering life . ”[279-whispering] “ It ’s not too much , is it ? Because [we]2144-our can go somewhere else . ”[279-whispering] “ No , not at all . [I]279-whispering mean , [I]279-whispering like the laid - back experience , but [I]279-whispering also love this . [I]279-whispering ’m such a sucker for a romantic evening and this , [JP]87-jp , it ’s . . . it ’s really just beautiful . ”[279-whispering] [You]89-kelsey ’re worth it , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say before picking up [my]0-i spoon and dipping it into [my]0-i soup . [You]89-kelsey spoil [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ As [you]0-i should be . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smirks and dips [her]89-kelsey spoon into [her]89-kelsey soup , as well . [Her]89-kelsey eyes widen and they meet [mine]0-i . “ Oh my God , this is amazing . ”[89-kelsey] “ This is only the beginning . ”[0-i]

* * *

“ Tell [me]89-kelsey more about [[your]0-i mom]3567-your mom and [Jeff]124-jeff . Did [he]124-jeff help raise [you]0-i ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ Not really . [[My]89-kelsey dad]3922-my dad left [us]4211-we when [we]4211-we were really young . [He]3922-my dad was [a truck driver]4212-a truck driver and wanted to be on [the road]586-the road . [Mom]101-mom raised [us]4211-we on [her]101-mom own . [[Our]4211-we dad]4214-our dad sent money , but that was about it . There was no involvement in [our]4211-we life . And then when [I]89-kelsey was around fourteen , [[my]89-kelsey mom]1250-my mom met [Jeff]124-jeff . To [our]4211-we knowledge , [he]124-jeff was [the only boyfriend [she]1250-my mom had while [we]4211-we were growing up]4216-the only boyfriend she had while we were growing up , and [we]4211-we did n’t even know [they]4211-we were dating until after six months . How [she]1250-my mom did it , [I]89-kelsey do n’t know , but [she]1250-my mom was very protective of [us]4211-we . When [we]4211-we finally met [Jeff]124-jeff , it was this big relief because [we]4211-we saw how happy [[our]4211-we mom]1569-our mom was . [We]4211-we immediately accepted [him]124-jeff into [[our]4211-we family]4218-our family , and [he]124-jeff ’s been a rock for [us]4211-we ever since . ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s such a good story , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i ’ve had a few conversations with [him]124-jeff , and just from those chats , [I]0-i can tell how much [he]124-jeff treats [you]0-i as [his]124-jeff . ”[0-i] [He]124-jeff ’s [the dad [we]2150-we never had]4219-the dad we never had , ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey says as [the waiter]846-the waiter removes [our]2150-we salad plates . “ There was this one night where [I]89-kelsey came [home]2941-home from a date in [high school]4221-high school and [I]89-kelsey was heartbroken because [the boy [I]89-kelsey went out with]4222-the boy i went out with said [I]89-kelsey was [a bad kisser]4223-a bad kisser . [I]89-kelsey knew that was n’t right because [I]89-kelsey ’d practiced on [my]89-kelsey hand several times . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey winks and [I]0-i laugh out loud . Of course [she]89-kelsey did . [Jeff]124-jeff was very quiet , and when [[my]89-kelsey mom]1250-my mom took [me]89-kelsey to [[my]89-kelsey room]1114-my room to console [me]89-kelsey , [Jeff]124-jeff left [the house]413-the house . ”[89-kelsey] “ Oh shit , what did [he]124-jeff do ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Never told [me]89-kelsey . All [I]89-kelsey know is that the next day , [Skylar]280-skylar[the guy [I]89-kelsey went out with]4227-the guy i went out with — gave [me]89-kelsey an apology card and told [me]89-kelsey it was [him]124-jeff who was [the bad kisser]4228-the bad kisser , not [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s [[my]89-kelsey kind of man]4229-my kind of man . [I]89-kelsey hope [he]124-jeff scared the absolute shit out of [Skylar]280-skylar . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [he]124-jeff did . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean closer to [her]2151-her and say , “ And for the record , [you]2151-her ’re easily [the best kisser [I]0-i ’ve ever had]4230-the best kisser i ’ve ever had . ”[0-i] “ Same . ”[2151-her] [She]2151-her winks .

* * *

[Kelsey]89-kelsey presses [her]89-kelsey hand to [her]89-kelsey stomach and says , “ Okay . . . hands down the best dim sum ever . ”[89-kelsey] “ Told [you]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i dab [my]0-i mouth with [my]0-i napkin . “ Nothing tops it . ”[89-kelsey] “ And those Szechwan noodles changed [my]89-kelsey life . ”[89-kelsey] “ Hopefully in a good way . ”[89-kelsey] “ The best way . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey lifts the tea [she]89-kelsey ordered and takes a sip . [I]89-kelsey ’ve been meaning to ask [you]0-i something . ”[89-kelsey] “ What ’s that ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Have [you]0-i talked to [Huxley]90-huxley about [your]0-i job , what [you]0-i feel , and the ideas [you]0-i have to feel more fulfilled ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Not yet . ”[0-i] “ Are [you]0-i nervous ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [I]89-kelsey ’m more focused on [you]0-i at the moment . ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i do n’t need to focus on [me]89-kelsey , [you]0-i have [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah ? Is that a promise ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey leans over and takes [my]0-i hand in [hers]89-kelsey . “ That ’s a promise . So , now [you]0-i can focus on [your]0-i job . Do [you]0-i need help putting together a presentation ? [I]89-kelsey ’m good at organizing thoughts . ”[89-kelsey] “ Of course [you]89-kelsey are . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i kiss [her]89-kelsey knuckles . “ But [I]0-i think [I]0-i should do this on [my]0-i own . ”[0-i] “ Mmm , [I]89-kelsey like that . [I]89-kelsey like when [you]89-kelsey ’re in charge . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey know because [you]89-kelsey scream [my]89-kelsey name when [I]89-kelsey ’m in charge . ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey cheeks redden as [she]89-kelsey glances around . “ It ’s [a private room]4231-a private room , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , but [[our]4232-our waiter]2146-our waiter pops in and out . ”[89-kelsey] “ And [he]2146-our waiter signed an NDA , so there ’s nothing [you]89-kelsey need to worry about . Plus , given the tip [he]2146-our waiter ’ll get tonight , [his]2146-our waiter loyalty is with [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] “ Still , [I]0-i do n’t need [people]2736-people knowing [I]0-i ’m [a screamer]4235-a screamer . ”[0-i] [I]0-i chuckle . “ Nothing wrong with that . [I]0-i like that [you]89-kelsey scream . [I]0-i actually wish it was [my]0-i ringtone . ”[0-i] “ Oh [my]89-kelsey God , are [you]89-kelsey trying to ruin the night ? ”[89-kelsey] “ It ca n’t all be roses and candles , [babe]2728-babe . There has to be some reality to the night , and that is , even though [we]4232-our ’re together , [I]89-kelsey ’ll still drive [you]89-kelsey crazy . ”[89-kelsey] [Oddly]281-oddly , ”[2152-i] [she]2152-i says on a sigh , [I]2152-i think it ’s what [I]2152-i like the most about [you]0-i . ”[2152-i] [Liar]282-liar , [you]0-i like how [I]2152-i make [you]0-i come . ”[2152-i] [She]2152-i shakes [her]2152-i head . “ Nope , [I]2152-i like [you]0-i . . . [you]0-i , [the person]2737-the person . [I]2152-i like [Jonah]201-jonah [the sweetheart]4238-the sweetheart . [JP]87-jp [the instigator]4239-the instigator . The sex , that ’s just a bonus . ”[2152-i] Fuck , [she]2152-i knows how to make [me]0-i feel whole . Loved . Cherished . Wanted . [I]0-i knew [this woman]461-this woman had the potential to change [my]0-i life , but [I]0-i did n’t know how quickly . When [Huxley]90-huxley asked [me]0-i how serious [I]0-i was about [Kelsey]89-kelsey , if this was just fun or if this was real , [I]0-i was n’t kidding when [I]0-i told [him]2154-him [she]89-kelsey was it for [me]0-i . [No one else]1656-no one else . [I]0-i told [him]2154-him that [I]0-i fell for [her]89-kelsey weeks ago , and being with [her]89-kelsey , being able to hold [her]89-kelsey , kiss [her]89-kelsey , just solidifies that feeling . [She]89-kelsey ’s [[my]0-i person]2156-my person .

* * *

“ How are [you]89-kelsey feeling ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Kelsey]89-kelsey as [I]0-i sit across from [her]89-kelsey on [[our]2157-our private jet]2158-our private jet . “ Good . [Happy]283-happy . [Lucky]241-lulu lemon . ”[0-i] After [our]2157-our dinner , [we]2157-our went to [the rooftop of [the building]3134-the building]2159-the rooftop of the building and [I]0-i played [our]2157-our song again — what [I]0-i refer to as [our]2157-our song — and [I]0-i danced with [[my]0-i girl]2897-my girl under the stars while candles lit the space around [us]2157-our . It was romantic as fuck , and [Kelsey]89-kelsey cried when [I]0-i first took [her]89-kelsey out on [the rooftop]1992-the rooftop . Then , [we]2157-our sat on a couch , shared a piece of honey cake , and talked some more . About everything and anything . [Our]2157-our conversations flow so easily , and it ’s like [we]2157-our ’ve been talking for years . Once [we]2157-our were ready to leave , [I]0-i asked [her]89-kelsey if [she]89-kelsey wanted to fly back or stay the night , and unfortunately , [she]89-kelsey has a dress fitting with [Lottie]89-kelsey tomorrow , so [we]2157-our had to fly back [home]2941-home tonight . [The captain]2164-the captain informs [us]2157-our that [we]2157-our ’re free to get out of [our]2157-our seats , so [I]0-i unbuckle [my]0-i seatbelt and rise from [my]0-i chair . [I]0-i hold [my]0-i hand out to [her]89-kelsey and say , “ Come with [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lead [her]89-kelsey back to [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom where there ’s a bed freshly made . [I]0-i shut and lock the door behind [me]0-i and then turn toward [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i want [you]89-kelsey naked . ”[0-i] [Her]89-kelsey eyes widen with excitement . “ What do [you]89-kelsey plan on doing ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Something that takes [us]4240-us the whole flight to accomplish . ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s over an hour . ”[89-kelsey] “ Exactly . ”[0-i] [I]0-i undo [my]0-i shirt buttons and tug the shirt out of [my]0-i dress pants . “ Seems like the perfect amount of time to explore [your]89-kelsey body with [my]89-kelsey tongue . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey places [her]89-kelsey hand on [my]0-i chest and slowly runs [her]89-kelsey nails over [my]0-i pecs , across [my]0-i nipples , and down [my]0-i abs . [You]0-i know [I]89-kelsey love how [you]0-i make [me]89-kelsey come , right ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Why do [I]89-kelsey feel like there ’s a ‘ but ’ after that statement ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Because there is . ”[89-kelsey] “ Fuck , are [you]0-i on [your]0-i period ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ No , but [I]89-kelsey am preventing [you]0-i from making [me]89-kelsey come tonight . ”[89-kelsey] “ Why ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i feel [my]0-i brow draw together . [Her]89-kelsey hand slips to [my]0-i pants and [she]89-kelsey undoes them , then dips [her]89-kelsey hand past the elastic of [my]0-i briefs and right to [my]0-i cock . A hiss escapes [me]0-i as [I]0-i lean against the door of [the compact bedroom]2166-the compact bedroom . [I]89-kelsey want to make [you]0-i come this time , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey tells [me]0-i . “ But [we]4241-we ’re taking it slow . ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i making [me]0-i orgasm every time [we]4241-we ’re together is n’t taking it slow . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause and grip [her]89-kelsey hand . “ Fuck , [you]0-i ’re right . [I]0-i ’m . . . hell , [I]0-i ’m sorry . ”[0-i] [I]0-i remove [her]89-kelsey hand . [You]0-i ’re right , [I]0-i should n’t end the date like this . [We]4241-we can — ”[0-i] [Her]89-kelsey hand covers [my]0-i mouth as [she]89-kelsey presses [her]89-kelsey breasts to [my]0-i chest . “ Do n’t finish that sentence . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [you]0-i ’re right , [I]89-kelsey ’m not honoring what [you]0-i asked . ”[89-kelsey] “ What [I]89-kelsey asked was dumb . [We]4241-we can connect on both levels . [We]4241-we have . [I]89-kelsey really want to make [you]0-i feel good . ”[89-kelsey] [Babe]91-babe , [you]0-i make [me]89-kelsey feel good without having to stick [your]0-i hand down [my]89-kelsey pants . ”[89-kelsey] “ This is different . [I]89-kelsey want to connect with [you]0-i on this level , too . ”[89-kelsey] “ Are [you]0-i sure ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey nods . [I]89-kelsey ’m very sure . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey reaches to [her]89-kelsey side and undoes [her]89-kelsey zipper , letting [her]89-kelsey dress fall to the floor , leaving [her]89-kelsey in a light pink two - piece lingerie set . “ Remind [me]89-kelsey to get [you]0-i a gift card for [[your]0-i favorite lingerie store]4242-your favorite lingerie store , because this is never going to get old . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i smooth [my]0-i hand on [her]89-kelsey back , grip the clasp of [her]89-kelsey bra , and undo it with one quick pinch . It snaps off and falls to the ground with [her]89-kelsey dress . [I]89-kelsey thought [I]89-kelsey was the one pleasuring [you]0-i ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks as [she]89-kelsey pushes down [my]0-i pants and briefs at the same time until [I]0-i step out of them , removing [my]0-i shoes and socks first . “ Seeing [you]89-kelsey naked pleasures [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i push [her]89-kelsey thong down so [we]2167-we ’re both naked . [I]0-i reach for the spot between [her]89-kelsey legs , but before [I]0-i can , [she]89-kelsey drops to [her]89-kelsey knees , moves [her]89-kelsey hair to the side , and grips [my]0-i cock at the base . “ Hell , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper , leaning against the door . [Her]89-kelsey tongue peeks out past [her]89-kelsey soft lips and [she]89-kelsey runs circles over [my]0-i head , swirling and swirling , while [she]89-kelsey casually pumps [my]0-i length . It ’s subtle . And it drives [me]0-i crazy because it ’s not nearly enough . [I]0-i know what [she]89-kelsey ’s doing — [she]89-kelsey ’s attempting to torture [me]0-i as [I]0-i torture [her]89-kelsey . Little does [she]89-kelsey know , [I]0-i could do this all fucking night . That is . . . until [her]89-kelsey hand slides under [my]0-i balls to the spot just behind them . [She]89-kelsey pushes up , and [my]0-i eyes widen in pleasure . “ Fuck . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i clench [my]0-i teeth together as [I]0-i feel [my]0-i cock grow in [her]89-kelsey mouth . “ Like that ? ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey asks before dipping [her]89-kelsey tongue to the base of [my]0-i dick and dragging it all the way up , making short flicks against the underside of the head . [Her]89-kelsey thumbs work [my]0-i balls , dragging over the seam , fondling them , one at a time . It ’s an onslaught of pleasure , but once again , not what [I]0-i need , not what ’s going to drive [me]0-i to fucking [her]89-kelsey mouth . [You]0-i trying to torture [me]89-kelsey ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smirks and brings [her]89-kelsey entire mouth over [my]0-i cock , sucking [me]0-i in . Fuck , yes , that ’s what [I]0-i ’m talking about . [I]0-i ’m prepared to settle into [her]89-kelsey mouth when [she]89-kelsey pulls off in one slick motion and brings [her]89-kelsey tongue down to [my]0-i balls . [The fucking temptress]2168-the fucking temptress . [I]0-i reach down and grip [her]89-kelsey hair in [my]0-i fist , turning it over once so [I]0-i have a tight hold . [She]89-kelsey does n’t even flinch . [She]89-kelsey loves it just as much as [I]0-i do . [She]89-kelsey reaches for [my]0-i balls , brings them close to [her]89-kelsey mouth , and sucks them in , [her]89-kelsey tongue running all over them . [Babe]91-babe , that feels good . But [I]89-kelsey want in [your]91-babe mouth . ”[89-kelsey] “ Sometimes [you]91-babe do n’t always get what [you]91-babe want . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes narrow at that smart mouth of [hers]89-kelsey and [I]0-i give [her]89-kelsey hair the lightest of yanks . [She]89-kelsey smiles before taking [my]0-i cock into [her]89-kelsey mouth again , this time , straight to the back of [her]89-kelsey throat . “ Fuck . . . [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say when [she]89-kelsey swallows . “ Yes , [baby]2899-baby . Just like that . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey allows [me]0-i to thrust into [her]89-kelsey once , twice , and when [I]0-i go for a third , [she]89-kelsey pulls away and releases [me]0-i . “ Jesus . ”[89-kelsey] Sweat trickles down [my]0-i back as [her]89-kelsey hands start working [my]0-i length , up and down , tugging , pulling , massaging . [Her]89-kelsey hands work over the head , over sensitive veins to [my]0-i perineum , where [she]89-kelsey lightly plays , tapping , rubbing , driving [me]0-i more and more nuts . [Babe]91-babe , [I]89-kelsey ’m about to fuck [you]91-babe in two seconds . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey chuckles and stands . [She]89-kelsey keeps one hand on [my]0-i cock , lightly tugging on it as [she]89-kelsey kisses [my]0-i chest , [my]0-i neck , [my]0-i jaw , and then matches [her]89-kelsey lips to [mine]0-i . [I]0-i open - mouth kiss [her]89-kelsey , driving [my]0-i tongue against [hers]89-kelsey , aggressively taking what [I]0-i want . One hand on [her]89-kelsey lower back , keeping [her]89-kelsey tight against [me]0-i , [I]0-i reach between [her]89-kelsey legs and find [her]89-kelsey completely drenched . “ Shit , [babe]2728-babe , [you]2728-babe ’re so turned on . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey love sucking [your]0-i cock , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says , [her]89-kelsey confession nearly making [me]0-i come right then and there . “ If [you]0-i like sucking it so much , then lie down on the bed , [your]0-i head hanging over the edge . ”[89-kelsey] Confused , [she]89-kelsey leans away , so [I]0-i help [her]89-kelsey lie down . Then [I]0-i guide [her]89-kelsey body so [her]89-kelsey head tips back over the edge of the bed and [her]89-kelsey throat is completely exposed . “ Have [you]0-i ever sucked a cock like this before ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head as [she]89-kelsey wets [her]89-kelsey lips . [I]89-kelsey ’ll go slow , then . Open for [me]89-kelsey , [baby]2899-baby . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey opens [her]89-kelsey mouth , and [I]0-i position [my]0-i cock at [her]89-kelsey lips and slowly press into [her]89-kelsey mouth , giving [her]89-kelsey the feel of the position first . “ Are [you]89-kelsey okay ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey nods so [I]0-i press farther . [She]89-kelsey unhinges and allows [me]0-i to go even deeper . “ That ’s it , take [me]89-kelsey in slow . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i lean forward and place [my]0-i hands on the mattress at either side of [her]89-kelsey waist . “ Open [your]89-kelsey legs for [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey listens brilliantly , and [I]0-i lean over and tongue [her]89-kelsey clit , swiping at it a few times . [She]89-kelsey groans against [my]0-i cock and the vibration nearly makes [me]0-i shoot off in seconds . “ Christ , ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i groan , trying to keep [my]0-i composure . “ Hold [my]89-kelsey cock , [baby]2899-baby , guide [me]89-kelsey in and out . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey grips the base of [my]0-i erection and moves [me]0-i in and out of [her]89-kelsey throat , sometimes going shallow , other times taking [me]0-i in so deep that [I]0-i nearly black out . The entire time , [I]0-i try to focus on bringing [her]89-kelsey pleasure . [I]0-i lap at [her]89-kelsey clit with fast flicks , something [I]0-i know drives [her]89-kelsey crazy . [She]89-kelsey pulls [me]0-i into [her]89-kelsey throat , swallows , plays with [my]0-i balls , presses and strokes [me]0-i in all the right places , and [my]0-i orgasm climbs faster than [I]0-i want it to . “ So good , [baby]2899-baby . Fuck , [you]2899-baby feel so good . Are [you]2899-baby close ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey whispers while pulling off [me]0-i for a second to take a deep breath . “ Can [I]89-kelsey come ? ”[89-kelsey] And fuck . . . [me]0-i , those three words have [my]0-i cock surging for release . [Good girl]2902-good girl for asking . [You]89-kelsey can , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , then [I]0-i lower [my]0-i mouth again and press it against [her]89-kelsey clit . [She]89-kelsey takes [me]0-i into [her]89-kelsey throat . [Her]89-kelsey body tenses beneath [me]0-i , and after three more flicks , [she]89-kelsey ’s moaning against [my]0-i cock , tugging on [my]0-i goddamn balls , and making [me]0-i come so fucking fast , [I]0-i did n’t even have time to prepare [her]89-kelsey . Instead , [I]0-i shoot off down [her]89-kelsey throat and pulse into [her]89-kelsey mouth until [I]0-i ’m completely spent . [I]0-i slide to the side and pull [her]89-kelsey up into [my]0-i hold , cradling [her]89-kelsey close to [my]0-i chest and pressing a kiss to [her]89-kelsey forehead . [She]89-kelsey rests [her]89-kelsey heated cheek against [my]0-i skin and sighs . “ Are [you]89-kelsey okay ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey nods . “ Was that too intense for [you]0-i ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey kisses [my]0-i chest . “ It was perfect . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey then looks [me]0-i in the eyes and says , [You]0-i make [me]89-kelsey feel so desirable , [JP]87-jp . The way [you]0-i speak to [me]89-kelsey is so demanding , but also like [you]0-i ’re protecting [me]89-kelsey . [You]0-i have so much faith in [me]89-kelsey even though [I]89-kelsey do n’t have that much experience . [I]89-kelsey do n’t think [I]89-kelsey ’ve ever felt sexier in [my]89-kelsey life . ”[89-kelsey] “ Because [you]89-kelsey are . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nudge [her]89-kelsey chin up and capture [her]89-kelsey lips . “ This may be too deep — no pun intended , given what [we]4249-we just did — but [I]0-i ’ve always been insecure about [my]0-i looks . Being [[Lottie]89-kelsey ’s younger sister]4250-lottie ’s younger sister , it ’s hard not to compare [myself]0-i to [her]89-kelsey . And with one failed attempt after another at dating , [I]0-i have a hard time not feeling insecure about who [I]0-i am and what [I]0-i look like . But then [you]89-kelsey came along , and [you]89-kelsey ’ve somehow washed away those insecurities . [You]89-kelsey ’ve made [me]0-i feel beautiful . ”[0-i] “ Because [you]89-kelsey are . ”[0-i] [I]0-i have no clue why [Kelsey]89-kelsey does n’t see [her]89-kelsey own beauty . Sure , [[her]89-kelsey sister]3184-her sister is pretty , but [Kelsey]89-kelsey is in another league of beautiful . [I]89-kelsey think [you]89-kelsey ’re the most exquisite beauty , [Kelse]96-kelse . [Lottie]89-kelsey has nothing on [you]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey smile weakens [me]0-i , and when [she]89-kelsey curls against [me]0-i again , [she]89-kelsey asks , “ Can [we]2170-we lie down and just talk ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yeah , [baby]2899-baby , [we]2170-we can . Let [me]0-i grab [you]89-kelsey a water first . ”[0-i] [I]0-i help [her]89-kelsey under the covers of the bed . Then [I]0-i quickly wash up , grab some waters , and offer [her]89-kelsey a wet washcloth . Once [we]2170-we ’re settled , lying down and facing [each other]333-each other , [her]89-kelsey beautiful smile peeks past [her]89-kelsey lips . “ Did n’t think [I]0-i ’d ever be [a girl who deep - throated [a guy on [an airplane]4254-an airplane]4253-a guy on an airplane]4252-a girl who deep - throated a guy on an airplane , but look at [me]0-i now . . . not sure if [I]0-i should be proud or not . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . [You]0-i should be . There ’s more to life than bamboo organization systems . ”[0-i] “ Apparently . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey dances [her]89-kelsey fingers over [my]0-i chest . “ So , are [you]0-i excited about [Hux]141-hux and [Lottie]89-kelsey getting married soon ? It ’s right around the corner . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i am excited . Not so much about the wedding , but for [Huxley]90-huxley to be married and start [a family]3690-a family . [He]4256-him ’s always been a sort of father figure to [me]0-i and [Breaker]97-breaker , especially once [[our]4257-our dad]4214-our dad passed , so [I]0-i know being [a father]4259-a father is in [his]4256-him blood . It ’ll be good to see [him]4256-him take a step back for a second , breathe , and enjoy life . [I]0-i know [Lottie]89-kelsey helps [him]4256-him do that . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey does . [I]89-kelsey did n’t think [their]4257-our little scheme would ever go this far , but [I]89-kelsey ’m happy for [them]4257-our , and [I]89-kelsey ’m ready to be [an aunt]4260-an aunt . ”[89-kelsey] “ What about [a mom]4261-a mom ? Is that something [you]2172-i want ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , curious about [her]2172-i thoughts on starting [a family]3690-a family . “ It is . ”[0-i] [Her]2172-i eyes flash to [mine]0-i . “ What about [you]0-i ? ”[2172-i] “ Yes . [I]89-kelsey want to be [a father]4259-a father . [I]89-kelsey want to have [a family]3690-a family . [I]89-kelsey have [that huge fucking house]4264-that huge fucking house , and [I]89-kelsey need to fill [it]4264-that huge fucking house up with something . ”[89-kelsey] [You]0-i could always fill [it]4264-that huge fucking house up with a bunch of cats . Given [your]0-i ornery disposition at times , a cat seems like the perfect pet for [you]0-i . ”[2172-i] [I]2172-i do like [a good pussy]4265-a good pussy . ”[2172-i] [She]2172-i rolls [her]2172-i eyes , causing [me]0-i to chuckle . [I]2172-i ’m sure [I]2172-i ’ll get a pet someday , and it ’ll hate [me]2172-i but love [everyone else in [[my]2172-i family]4267-my family]4266-everyone else in my family . ”[2172-i] “ Sounds about right . How many [kids]3604-kids do [you]0-i want ? ”[2172-i] “ One . . . possibly two . But not for a bit . [I]2172-i do n’t want to be banging out [kids]3604-kids as soon as [I]2172-i get married . [I]2172-i want to enjoy [[my]2172-i wife]1877-my wife first , take [her]1877-my wife around [the world]2761-the world , grow experiences before [we]4272-we ’re deep in the trenches of diapers and temper tantrums . ”[2172-i] [I]0-i ’m the same way . [I]0-i still have some things [I]0-i want to accomplish , experience . [I]0-i know [I]0-i want [a family]3690-a family , but [I]0-i do n’t need it right away . ”[0-i] [I]0-i momentarily study [her]2174-you and then say , [I]0-i think [you]2174-you ’d be [a great mom]4274-a great mom . ”[0-i] [Her]2174-you eyes soften . [You]0-i think so ? ”[2174-you] [I]0-i nod . [I]0-i really do . [You]2174-you have a loving , calm heart . [You]2174-you ’re also [a beautiful leader]4275-a beautiful leader , and when conflict arises , [you]2174-you do n’t immediately grow angry like [I]0-i do . [You]2174-you take a step back and give it some thought before tackling what needs to be said , what needs to be done . [I]0-i think that ’s a good quality in [a mom]4261-a mom . ”[0-i] “ Well , [I]0-i think [you]2174-you ’d be [a good dad]4277-a good dad . [You]2174-you ’re caring , protective , and even though [you]2174-you ’re annoying at times with [your]2174-you constant teasing , [I]0-i know [you]2174-you ’d bring great joy to [[your]2174-you family]4278-your family . ”[0-i] “ That means a lot to [me]0-i . Thank [you]2758-this girl , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] And that right there is one of the main reasons [I]0-i ’m falling for [this girl]2758-this girl . [She]2758-this girl sees beyond the façade , sees [my]0-i heart , and likes what [she]2758-this girl sees . As much as [I]0-i craved time with [[my]0-i dad]3922-my dad , [I]0-i also wished [he]3922-my dad gave more of [himself]3922-my dad to [all of [[us]2177-all of us boys boys]2178-us boys]2177-all of us boys . [We]2177-all of us boys all needed [a role model]2179-a role model and someone who loved [us]2177-all of us boys unconditionally . [I]0-i want to be [the man [he]3922-my dad was n’t]2180-the man he was n’t . [You]0-i ’re welcome . ”[2758-this girl] [She]2758-this girl scoots in closer , brings [her]2758-this girl hand to the back of [my]0-i neck , and kisses [me]0-i tenderly . “ So , [I]2758-this girl was thinking , after [my]2758-this girl dress fitting tomorrow , do [you]0-i want to come over to [[my]2758-this girl place]3926-my place ? [I]2758-this girl ’ll make [you]0-i dinner ? ”[2758-this girl] “ Can [I]2758-this girl help [you]97-breaker make dinner ? ”[2758-this girl] [I]2758-this girl ’d like that a lot . ”[2758-this girl] “ Good . ”[0-i] [I]0-i kiss [her]2758-this girl this time . “ Then , yes , [I]2758-this girl ’ll be [there]2954-there . ”[2758-this girl]

* * *

[Breaker]97-breaker dribbles the ball and then tosses it up to the basket , making a swish . [I]97-breaker ’m surprised [you]0-i were able to find the willpower to pull [yourself]0-i away from [Kelsey]89-kelsey for one goddamn moment and play basketball with [me]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] “ Wow , [you]97-breaker do n’t sound bitter , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as the ball rebounds and [I]0-i toss it back to [him]97-breaker . “ Seriously , [dude]2754-dude . [I]0-i ’m losing [Huxley]90-huxley . Am [I]0-i going to lose [you]2754-dude , too ? ”[0-i] [You]97-breaker ’re not losing [us]4282-you . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i never see [[you]4282-you guys]2996-you guys unless [we]4282-you ’re at [the office]548-the office , and [you]4282-you do n’t even have lunch with [me]0-i anymore . ”[0-i] Jokes are on the tip of [my]0-i tongue , but when [I]0-i see how serious [he]97-breaker is , [I]0-i hold back . “ Are [you]97-breaker really upset ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [He]97-breaker dribbles , sets up , shoots . [I]97-breaker mean , sort of , and not in a bitchy way , because [I]97-breaker ’m happy for [[you]4282-you two]3018-you two , but it would be nice if [[you]4282-you guys]2996-you guys would carve out some time for [me]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i can do that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pull on the back of [my]0-i neck . “ Things have just been . . . crazy . And [I]0-i ’ve been consumed . [Dude]2754-dude , [I]0-i fucking like [her]4288-her a lot . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker know . [I]97-breaker can tell . And [I]97-breaker know [Huxley]90-huxley is consumed by the wedding right now , which is in a week , but remember , [we]3018-you two ’re all [we]3018-you two have . Do n’t leave [a man behind]4289-a man behind . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i ’ll make a better effort , ”[0-i] [I]0-i promise . [He]2181-you tosses [me]0-i the ball and [I]0-i take a shot . It bounces off the rim , right back at [me]0-i . [You]0-i know , [you]0-i could possibly find [someone to settle down with]4290-someone to settle down with . The option is there . ”[2181-you] “ Oh , is it ? What love connection are [you]2181-you seeing for [me]2181-you that [I]2181-you do n’t see ? ”[2181-you] “ What about [Ophelia]284-ophelia ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [Lia]285-lia ? ”[2181-you] [he]2181-you asks , confused . “ Yeah . [Huxley]90-huxley and [I]2181-you have been taking bets as to when [you]0-i two will hook up . ”[2181-you] [Dude]2754-dude , [she]285-lia ’s [[my]2181-you friend]1063-my friend , not to mention [[my]2181-you neighbor]4293-my neighbor , and [she]285-lia has [a boyfriend]1971-a boyfriend . That ’s it . There ’s no romance . ”[2181-you] [You]0-i two also call [each other]333-each other all the time — call , not text . That ’s weird . ”[2181-you] [We]0-i text , too , ”[2181-you] [he]2181-you mutters . “ But that ’s beside the point . [We]0-i ’re [friends]2684-friends , that ’s it , nothing more . [We]0-i established those ground rules back in college . ”[2181-you] “ So , [you]2181-you ’re telling [me]2181-you [you]2181-you never thought about getting together with [her]285-lia ? ”[2181-you] “ Never . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh . [You]2181-you ’re such a fucking liar . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head as [I]0-i steal the ball from [him]2181-you and shoot , missing the basket completely . Jesus , maybe [I]0-i should meet up with [Breaker]97-breaker more . [I]0-i ca n’t seem to score anything today . “ So , [you]2181-you ’re not bringing [her]285-lia to the wedding ? ”[0-i] “ No . [She]285-lia did knit [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie pot holders]4297-lottie pot holders , though , that [I]0-i have to take with [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ca n’t believe [you]2181-you did n’t invite [her]285-lia to the wedding . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m bringing [some girl named [Charise]286-charise]4298-some girl named charise . ”[0-i] [Some girl]4073-some girl ? Do [you]2181-you even know [her]4073-some girl ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah . [She]4073-some girl ’s [[Lia]285-lia ’s friend]4300-lia ’s friend . ”[0-i] “ Wait . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause . [You]2181-you ’re not taking [Lia]285-lia , but [you]2181-you ’re taking [[her]285-lia friend]1790-her friend ? ”[2182-i] [He]2182-i shrugs . [I]2182-i told [her]285-lia [I]2182-i needed a date , and [she]285-lia hooked [me]2182-i up . See , that ’s what [friends]2684-friends are for . [I]2182-i was [[her]285-lia wingman]4303-her wingman when [she]285-lia met [Brian]287-brian . Unlike [you]2181-you , [I]2182-i can actually be friends with [a woman]3073-a woman . ”[2182-i] “ Seems like everything worked out for [me]2182-i . ”[2182-i] [I]0-i smile at [him]2182-i as [he]2182-i takes a shot from the three - point line and sinks it . “ Do [you]0-i love [her]285-lia ? ”[2182-i] [he]2182-i asks , rebounding [his]2182-i own ball before tossing it to [me]0-i . [I]0-i dribble it a few times and nod . “ Yeah , [I]0-i think [I]0-i do . Hell , [she]285-lia ’s all [I]0-i think about . [I]0-i ’m constantly counting down the minutes until [I]0-i can hold [her]285-lia and be with [her]285-lia . And [she]285-lia makes [me]0-i really fucking happy , [dude]2754-dude . [I]0-i think once all this wedding stuff is done , [I]0-i ’m going to take [her]285-lia back to [San Francisco]21-san francisco and tell [her]285-lia . Feels fitting to do it there . ”[0-i] “ When did [you]2183-i become [a man who makes grand gestures]4306-a man who makes grand gestures ? ”[2183-i] “ Ever since [I]0-i started listening to [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s podcast . Have [you]2183-i heard it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [He]2183-i lifts a brow at [me]0-i , which causes [me]0-i to laugh . “ Well , [she]285-lia ’s all about these stories of how [people]2736-people met . [She]285-lia loves the grand gesture , and [she]285-lia soaks in [their]2736-people romance . [You]4308-you can feel how much [she]285-lia ’s in [her]285-lia element when [you]4308-you listen . Figured if [I]2183-i want to keep [her]285-lia around , [I]2183-i have to step up [my]2183-i game . ”[2183-i] “ Never thought [I]2183-i ’d see the day when [you]4308-you matured into [a thoughtful man]4309-a thoughtful man , but here [you]4308-you are . [I]2183-i ’m impressed . ”[2183-i] “ Thank [you]4308-you . ”[0-i] [I]0-i awkwardly bow before shooting the ball . [I]0-i fade back while the ball hits . . . nothing . [Breaker]97-breaker lets out a long , drawn out , “ AIIIIIIRRRRR BALLLLLLLLL , ”[97-breaker] like [the immature little brother]2184-the immature little brother that [he]97-breaker is . Yeah , [I]0-i need to get out here more often .

* * *

“ Thanks for meeting with [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say to [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers as [I]0-i sit across from [them]740-my brothers at the conference table . Fuck , [my]0-i palms are sweaty . [I]0-i ’ve put a lot of time into this presentation , knowing that [Huxley]90-huxley would want specific points . Although [I]0-i ’d planned to speak to [Breaker]97-breaker first and toss around the numbers , [I]0-i did n’t want [Huxley]90-huxley to feel [we]2186-we ’d gone behind [his]2187-his back . [I]0-i might want to drive this , but [we]2186-we need to be unified on this direction and the only way to achieve that is if [we]2186-we all use [our]2186-we individual strengths once the idea is on the table . [I]0-i spent last night running through [my]0-i idea over and over , explaining it out loud to [Kelsey]89-kelsey as [she]89-kelsey sat on [her]89-kelsey bed with [me]0-i . [She]89-kelsey listened to [me]0-i speak until [I]0-i was blue in the face . [I]0-i ’d felt ready . Right now , however , with [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers watching [me]0-i , [I]0-i feel like [I]0-i ’ve lost all sense of why [I]0-i ’m doing this . [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [I]0-i drove to [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises this morning . [She]89-kelsey walked [me]0-i to [[my]0-i office]561-my office , [she]89-kelsey held [my]0-i hand as [I]0-i went over the presentation one more time , and [she]89-kelsey gave [me]0-i the most encouraging kiss and told [me]0-i to call [her]89-kelsey after . [I]0-i ca n’t fucking fold , knowing [she]89-kelsey ’s waiting to hear from [me]0-i . Taking a deep breath , [I]0-i look [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers in the eye and say , [I]0-i ’m unhappy . ”[0-i] The confused looks that cross [their]740-my brothers faces would almost seem comical if [I]0-i was n’t so fucking on edge right now . [Huxley]90-huxley shifts in [his]2191-his chair . “ What do [you]0-i mean , [you]0-i ’re unhappy ? In life ? [I]2191-his thought everything was good with [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[2191-his] “ Everything is great with [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ This has nothing to do with [my]0-i personal life and everything to do with [my]0-i work life . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’re unhappy with work ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks , both of [them]740-my brothers truly concerned . [They]740-my brothers ’re obviously surprised too . [I]740-my brothers am . ”[740-my brothers] On another deep breath , [I]0-i say , “ When [we]4310-we started [this company]3170-this company , [I]0-i joined in not because it was something [I]0-i truly wanted to do — invest in real estate — but because [I]0-i wanted to be close to [[you]740-my brothers two]3018-you two . Losing [Dad]246-dad , it was — ”[0-i] [My]0-i throat grows tight . “ Well , [you]740-my brothers know how devastated [I]0-i was . And [I]0-i was feeling lost , tortured at times with memories , and the only way [I]0-i knew how to preserve those memories was to stay as close to [you]740-my brothers two as [I]0-i could . The jobs were simple . [Breaker]97-breaker , [you]97-breaker ’d do the numbers because that was what [you]97-breaker ’re good at . [Huxley]90-huxley , [you]97-breaker ’d be [the idea man]4313-the idea man , because [you]97-breaker ’re [a natural - born leader]4314-a natural - born leader , and that left [me]0-i with the leftovers , handling all media and odd jobs . At first , [I]0-i did n’t mind it , but as time went on , [I]0-i grew more and more bored . More bitter . Angry that [I]0-i did n’t feel like [I]0-i had a purpose . ”[0-i] “ How long have [you]0-i felt this way ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . “ Probably about a year now . But in the last few months , those feelings have grown to the point of bitterness . And that ’s not what [I]90-huxley want . [I]90-huxley do n’t want to feel bitter toward the one thing that keeps [me]90-huxley close to [Dad]246-dad ’s memory . Close to [you]97-breaker both . So , [I]90-huxley sat down and thought about what would truly make [me]90-huxley happy , what would make [me]90-huxley feel fulfilled . ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i open [my]0-i folder and slide the two printouts across the table , one for each of [them]2192-their . [I]90-huxley want to start a foundation within [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises that focuses on offering affordable housing in [[our]4315-we buildings]3278-our buildings to [those who need it]4317-those who need it . [Single parents]4318-single parents , [low - income families]4319-low - income families , [those struggling to get [their]4320-those struggling to get their feet on the ground feet on the ground]4320-those struggling to get their feet on the ground . [I]90-huxley want to build [a community within the housing]4321-a community within the housing , offer practical classes like basic DIY home maintenance and managing [your]4322-your finances , have childcare , health management . [We]4315-we ’re bringing in so much fucking money every goddamn day that [I]90-huxley think it ’s time [we]4315-we give back , do more than just writing a check to a foundation . ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley and [Breaker]97-breaker both look over the printout , [their]2192-their eyes scanning the details . [I]0-i ’m literally hiding [my]0-i shaking hands as [I]0-i wait for [their]2192-their response . [They]2192-their have to see the value in it . “ And [you]90-huxley ’d head this program ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . “ Starting with [the Angelica]27-the angelica ? ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i nod . “ Yes . [I]90-huxley ’ve laid out the plans for how [we]4315-we can make [the Angelica]3293-the angelica [[our]4315-we first affordable housing apartment building]4324-our first affordable housing apartment building . [I]90-huxley even spoke with [the mayor]3168-the mayor before [I]90-huxley left [San Francisco]21-san francisco , pitched [him]3168-the mayor the idea , and [he]3168-the mayor said not only would [he]3168-the mayor be willing to work with [us]4315-we on securing [more buildings]4326-more buildings , but [he]3168-the mayor ’d put money toward [our]4315-we initiative when it comes to education , opportunity , childcare , as well as transportation . ”[90-huxley] “ Have [you]90-huxley run the numbers on this ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ Yes . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i pull another paper from [my]0-i folder , knowing [he]2193-he was going to ask . “ With the products [the mayor]3168-the mayor can provide at cost , and the tax breaks , [we]4315-we could break even on the project , while helping [others]2851-others . But honestly , even if [we]4315-we did n’t , it would n’t matter . Profit from even one of [[our]4315-we other properties]4329-our other properties can sustain that . ”[0-i] “ What about [your]90-huxley current responsibilities ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks . [Sustainably Organized]49-sustainably organized runs on [its]49-sustainably organized own , and [I]90-huxley think [you]90-huxley know that at this point , [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Kelsey]89-kelsey do n’t need [us]4315-we watching over [them]49-sustainably organized . [I]90-huxley ’d be able to keep up on some of [[my]90-huxley smaller management projects]4330-my smaller management projects , and then all the PR — well , [I]90-huxley can schedule important meetings , but the smaller fires , those can be put out by someone [we]4315-we hire . It ’s menial work and a waste of [my]90-huxley time . ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i tap the desk . “ This , though , this is the big picture . [We]4315-we can start a wave of affordable living across [the country]2865-the country in [major cities]4332-major cities , expand from [California]11-california to [New York]66-new york , touch down in [Denver]67-denver and [Atlanta]68-atlanta , as well . ”[0-i] [Huxley]90-huxley leans back in [his]2194-i chair and stares [me]0-i down . “ Honestly , [I]90-huxley think it would be a substantial hit on [our]4315-we profit , because [I]90-huxley ca n’t see how [we]4315-we could make [affordable housing]4333-affordable housing profitable . ”[90-huxley] [My]0-i stomach fucking falls . “ But . . . it ’s a fucking brilliant idea and [I]2194-i ’m mad [I]2194-i did n’t think of it [myself]2194-i . ”[2194-i] [He]2194-i places [his]2194-i hand on the conference table . “ One of the best things [I]2194-i learned from [Dad]4334-dad about business is sometimes [you]4335-you have to take a hit in order to invest in [yourself]4335-you later . This is a hit , but it will keep investing in [our]4315-we company over and over again , maybe not financially , but morally . [We]4315-we have to run the numbers to ensure [we]4315-we stay viable , ensure [we]4315-we balance the not - for - profits with the revenue - generating properties , which [I]2194-i can see is possible . [I]2194-i ’m guessing [we]4315-we ’d need a not - for - profit license too . Spend time with [Breaker]97-breaker and run numbers . [You]4335-you have [my]2194-i approval . Let ’s meet on this again in three weeks . ”[2194-i] [My]0-i chest swells as [I]0-i turn toward [Breaker]97-breaker , who ’s still looking over the numbers . [I]97-breaker agree with [Huxley]90-huxley and [we]4315-we do need to go over these numbers . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker lifts [his]97-breaker eyes and smirks at [me]0-i . “ But [I]97-breaker fucking love the idea . ”[97-breaker] Growing serious , [he]97-breaker asks , “ This will make [you]0-i happy , though ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i nod . “ It will . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker tilts [his]97-breaker head to the side and asks , “ Does this have anything to do with [Kazoo]227-kazoo the pigeon ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i let out a loud laugh as [Huxley]90-huxley asks , “ Who the hell is [Kazoo]227-kazoo ? ”[90-huxley] “ Some pigeon [JP]87-jp has been saving during [his]87-jp spare time . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i think this was inspired by [Kazoo]227-kazoo , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ Well , would [you]740-my brothers look at that , pigeons really do deserve to be saved . ”[0-i] After a few handshakes , some bro hugs , and some reassurance on [my]0-i end that [I]0-i ’m truly excited about this , [I]0-i part ways with [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers and pull [my]0-i phone from [my]0-i pocket . [JP]87-jp : Where are [you]0-i ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey texts back right away . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [[Your]2196-your office]570-your office . [I]0-i nearly sprint to [[my]0-i office]561-my office and shut the door behind [me]0-i . [She]89-kelsey ’s on the couch , a cup of coffee in hand . When [our]2199-our eyes meet , [she]89-kelsey slowly sets the coffee on the table in front of [her]89-kelsey and stands . “ What did [they]4336-they say ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i smile . [They]4336-they fucking loved it . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey jumps in glee and then runs to [my]0-i arms , offering [me]0-i the world ’s best fucking hug . [I]0-i grip [her]89-kelsey tightly , one hand on [her]89-kelsey back , the other at the nape of [her]89-kelsey neck as [she]89-kelsey clings to [me]0-i , [her]89-kelsey legs wrapping around [my]0-i waist . “ Oh my God , [I]0-i ’m so excited for [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Thank [you]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , burying [my]0-i head in [her]89-kelsey hair . [I]0-i press a kiss to the side of [her]89-kelsey face and hold [her]89-kelsey so tightly . It ’s as if the world around [me]0-i is starting to make sense . For so long , [I]0-i ’ve felt lost , like [I]0-i was n’t supposed to be where [I]0-i was , but over the last few months , the clouds have parted and [I]0-i can finally fucking see what [I]0-i ’m supposed to be doing . Giving back . Creating something bigger than an income for [me]0-i and [[my]0-i brothers]740-my brothers . Falling for [this woman]461-this woman and showing [her]461-this woman the kind of man [I]0-i can be for [her]461-this woman . It ’s all clicking into place , and [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever been happier . Ever .

Chapter Twenty - One

KELSEY

Meant to Be Podcast [Jason]187-jason and [Dottie Kelsey]288-kelsey : Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]2203-we talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Jason]187-jason and [Dottie]288-kelsey , thank [you]2205-you so much for joining [me]0-i today . [Jason]187-jason : It ’s an absolute honor . [Kelsey]288-kelsey : And this potato salad [you]187-jason had sent over , did [you]187-jason make this , [Jason]187-jason ? [Jason]187-jason : [I]0-i did . [We]2203-we ’re in the early stages of production , but hopefully soon [we]2203-we ’ll have [my]0-i potato salad in [grocery stores around [the country]2865-the country]2206-grocery stores around the country , not that [I]0-i ’m trying to promote it here or anything , but [you]187-jason know . . . Best Butt in Baseball Salad , coming to [a store near [you]187-jason]2208-a store near you . [Dottie]288-kelsey : It ’s all [he]187-jason talks about . Like . . . all [he]187-jason talks about . [Jason]187-jason : Can be used for backyard barbecues , family dinners , intimate evenings . . . [I]0-i even licked it off [Dottie]288-kelsey a few times . [Dottie]288-kelsey : Can [you]187-jason not say those kinds of things ? [Jason]187-jason : [She]288-kelsey ’s always been camera shy . [Kelsey]288-kelsey : [You]187-jason know , [I]0-i ’m always looking for sponsorship . A potato salad for [lovers]2856-lovers could be the first one . [Jason]187-jason : Do n’t [you]288-kelsey play with [my]0-i heart . [Kelsey]288-kelsey : Well , [I]0-i just love the letter [you]187-jason sent in , [Jason]187-jason , about [you]187-jason and [Dottie]288-kelsey , and [I]0-i ’d love for [you]187-jason to tell [the listeners]1445-the listeners how [you]187-jason two became meant to be . [Dottie]288-kelsey : Please note , anything [he]187-jason says is going to be exaggerated , so take it with a grain of — [Jason]187-jason : It was a dark , morbidly chilly evening in [Chicago]69-chicago , where [everyone]2734-everyone was searching for hope and love . [Dottie]288-kelsey : Oh , dear God , here [we]2212-we go .

* * *

“ Are [you]89-kelsey nervous ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Lottie]89-kelsey as [we]2212-we stand outside on [the patio of [Huxley]90-huxley ’s]2213-the patio of huxley ’s and [[her]90-huxley house]2214-her house . For the reception , [they]2215-they had [the pool]2688-the pool covered in a clear surface , decorated [it]2688-the pool with seven tables , and added some soft , pink uplighting on the stone walls of the fence . Strings of flowers make for a faux ceiling , while [two cellists]857-two cellists are tucked off to the side , adding sophistication to the intimate night . It ’s [family]403-family and [friends]2684-friends , that ’s it . The original plan was for [me]0-i to stay [here]2716-here tonight with [Lottie]89-kelsey and get ready in the morning , but [Huxley]90-huxley wanted nothing to do with being apart from [Lottie]89-kelsey , so [I]0-i ’m spending the night at [[JP]87-jp ’s place]2221-jp ’s place . [I]0-i ’ll make the short walk [here]2716-here in the morning , where [we]2223-we ’ll all get ready , [Ellie]167-ellie , [the other bridesmaid]2224-the other bridesmaid , included . Thankfully , [she]167-ellie has no ill feelings toward [me]0-i , given [I]0-i ditched [[her]167-ellie brother]2225-her brother . [She]167-ellie said [he]2225-her brother understood completely and had wondered if [someone else]2834-someone else had been on [my]0-i mind when [we]2223-we ’d gone out . [I]0-i feel bad that [I]0-i did n’t give [him]2225-her brother all [my]0-i attention , but from what [Ellie]167-ellie has said , [he]2225-her brother ’s dating someone right now who lives in [Hawaii]70-hawaii , and [he]2225-her brother ’s enjoying the “ commute . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey exhales next to [me]0-i and then knocks back [her]89-kelsey champagne , emptying the flute . “ Am [I]89-kelsey nervous ? Not really . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey speaks quietly , keeping the conversation just between [us]2223-we . [I]89-kelsey ’m not nervous about [my]89-kelsey choice . Without a doubt , [Huxley]90-huxley is [the man for [me]89-kelsey]1346-the man for me . [I]89-kelsey ca n’t wait to be married to [him]2225-her brother . [I]89-kelsey ’m just nervous about all the fanfare , [you]0-i know ? [I]89-kelsey really wish [we]2223-we just got married back here tonight , and then [we]2223-we could go on [our]2223-we honeymoon , but [I]89-kelsey understand [Huxley]90-huxley wanted more of a traditional wedding . ”[89-kelsey] “ The ceremony will be short , and then [you]0-i get to party . That will be so much fun . ”[2227-i] “ True . Plus , tomorrow [we]2223-we ’re going to have fun getting ready , right ? Did [you]0-i get those Mad Libs [I]89-kelsey sent [you]0-i a link to ? The bridal ones ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey did . [I]89-kelsey have them in [my]89-kelsey bag of things to do tomorrow . Ca n’t wait to insert boob and penis into every category . ”[89-kelsey] “ Do n’t forget fuck — that can be a verb , noun , adjective . . . it ’s universal . ”[2227-i] “ Yes , there will be tons of fucks , boobs , and penises . ”[89-kelsey] “ Good . ”[2227-i] [She]2227-i taps [my]0-i hand and then looks [me]0-i in the eyes . [I]2227-i ’m getting married tomorrow . How crazy is that ? It feels like just the other day [I]2227-i was attempting to find ways to drive [Huxley]90-huxley nuts to get [me]2227-i out of [our]2223-we contract . ”[2227-i] [I]90-huxley know . [I]90-huxley still remember [you]0-i telling [me]90-huxley [you]0-i ’d met [someone]364-someone and were going to discuss terms over chips and guac at [Chipotle]71-chipotle . ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i think that ’s what won [me]0-i over — [he]2229-i paid extra for guac . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh just as [Huxley]90-huxley stands in front of [everyone]2734-everyone and taps [his]2229-i glass . [The small group]2230-the small group quiets , and [the cellists]2231-the cellists stop playing . With one hand in [his]2229-i pocket , the other holding a tumbler of beer , [Huxley]90-huxley addresses [the backyard]408-the backyard . “ Thank [you]89-kelsey so much for coming tonight and for being a part of [our]4339-our special day tomorrow . ”[2229-i] [His]2229-i eyes land on [Lottie]89-kelsey . “ A few months ago , [I]2229-i made a business mistake that [I]2229-i thought was going to cost [me]2229-i [[our]4339-our company]3335-our company ’s reputation . [I]2229-i did everything [I]2229-i could to recover , including convincing [this random girl [I]2229-i met on [the sidewalk]338-the sidewalk]4341-this random girl i met on the sidewalk to pretend to be [[my]2229-i fake fiancée]4343-my fake fiancée . [I]2229-i thought [I]2229-i was so clever , getting [this woman]461-this woman to be by [my]2229-i side and act like the doting fiancée [I]2229-i needed . Little did [I]2229-i fucking know that [I]2229-i was in way over [my]2229-i head . [She]461-this woman was headstrong , breathtakingly beautiful , and the biggest challenge of [my]2229-i life , and [I]2229-i quickly fell for [the girl who was supposed to be temporary]4345-the girl who was supposed to be temporary . But tomorrow . . . tomorrow [she]461-this woman becomes [my]2229-i forever . [Leiselotte]289-leiselotte , [you]289-leiselotte ’re [the love of [my]2229-i life]4346-the love of my life , and [you]289-leiselotte make [me]2229-i happier than [I]2229-i could ever imagine . ”[2229-i] [I]0-i grip [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s hand tightly . [You]289-leiselotte ’re doing [me]0-i the greatest honor of [my]0-i life tomorrow , by becoming [[my]0-i wife]1877-my wife . [I]0-i promise [you]289-leiselotte , no matter what comes [our]4348-our way , [I]0-i ’ll always be [the man [you]289-leiselotte deserve]4349-the man you deserve . [I]0-i love [you]289-leiselotte . ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey swipes at the tears on [her]89-kelsey cheeks . [She]89-kelsey stands from [her]89-kelsey chair , grips [Huxley]90-huxley by the cheeks , and kisses [him]2234-him deeply . As [I]0-i watch [them]2235-them , completely and utterly in love , a warm hand grips [my]0-i shoulder before smoothing down [my]0-i back . “ Hey , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says , taking a seat next to [me]0-i . [I]87-jp feel like [I]87-jp have n’t seen [you]0-i all night . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i turn toward [him]87-jp , [our]2236-our legs twining together as [I]0-i scoot in closer . [I]87-jp know , but [I]87-jp like that [I]87-jp saw [you]0-i and [Jeff]124-jeff having a good time , or at least what seemed like a good time . ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp takes [my]0-i hand in [his]87-jp and rests it on [his]87-jp lap , [his]87-jp other hand resting over [my]0-i thigh . [We]2236-our were talking about [Jason Orson]290-jason and [his]290-jason new potato salad . [I]87-jp told [him]124-jeff [Jason]290-jason sent some over to [you]0-i , and [Jeff]124-jeff said [he]124-jeff actually read an article in [the Player]4350-the player ’s Tribune , written by [[Jason]290-jason ’s best friend]4351-jason ’s best friend and [brother - in - law]4352-brother - in - law [Cory Potter]291-cory potter[they]2236-our both play for [the Chicago Rebels]292-the chicago rebels — about [Jason]290-jason and [his]290-jason love for [his]290-jason potato salad . [The dude]4353-the dude has been claiming it ’s the best since college . [I]87-jp ’m stoked to listen to [your]0-i episode , actually . ”[87-jp] “ How did [I]87-jp forget [Jeff]124-jeff is [a big baseball fan]4354-a big baseball fan ? [I]87-jp feel like [I]87-jp ’m failing . [I]87-jp should ’ve gotten [Jason]290-jason to send over a signed ball or something . ”[87-jp] “ But , [babe]2728-babe , that would be against all that [he]124-jeff believes in . [He]124-jeff ’s [a Los Angeles Rook]72-a los angeles rook through and through . ”[0-i] “ True . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp told [him]124-jeff that [I]87-jp ’d take [him]124-jeff to a game soon . [He]124-jeff ’s always dreamed of sitting behind the backstop , so [I]87-jp figured [I]87-jp ’d treat [him]124-jeff . ”[87-jp] “ Oh [my]0-i God , [he]124-jeff ’ll lose it . [You]87-jp ’d seriously do that ? ”[0-i] “ Yeah . [I]87-jp enjoy [his]2781-this man company , but not only that , [he]2781-this man ’s important to [you]87-jp , which makes [him]2781-this man important to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] The words are on the tip of [my]0-i tongue — [I]0-i can feel them . [I]0-i love [this man]2781-this man . [I]0-i ca n’t imagine what life would be without [him]2781-this man now . Without [his]2781-this man teasing , [his]2781-this man caring heart , the way [he]2781-this man makes [me]0-i feel whole , needed . . . sexy . [He]2781-this man ’s the total package . But saying those words , here , on the night before [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s wedding . . . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i want to do that . [I]0-i want to keep the attention on [Lottie]89-kelsey , and [I]0-i know if [I]0-i tell [JP]87-jp [I]0-i love [him]2781-this man , [I]0-i wo n’t be able to keep it to [myself]0-i . Plus , there ’s always that worry in the back of [my]0-i mind that is n’t sure if [he]2781-this man ’s at the same place as [I]0-i am . It might take [him]2781-this man longer to get [there]2954-there , so [I]0-i need to wait . “ Hey , [dude]2754-dude , can [I]97-breaker talk to [you]87-jp for a second ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks [JP]87-jp . “ Is it important ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , not letting go of [my]0-i hand . [Breaker]97-breaker smooths a hand over [his]87-jp jaw and gives [JP]87-jp a curt nod , saying , “ Stuff for the wedding tomorrow . ”[97-breaker] Oh jeez , for a second [I]0-i thought it was more important than that , like something was actually wrong . “ Sure , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says before dropping a quick kiss on [my]0-i lips . “ Be back . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker pulls [him]87-jp to the side , and [I]0-i stand to grab [myself]0-i some more champagne . When [I]0-i sway , [I]0-i realize that maybe [I]0-i ’ve had a few too many glasses , but . . . then again , it ’s a rehearsal dinner and the champagne is flowing . It ’s time to celebrate !

* * *

[JP]87-jp

A sharp line etched on [his]87-jp brow , [Breaker]97-breaker pulls [me]0-i into [the house]413-the house , shuts the sliding glass door , then moves [us]2241-us into [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s office]2242-huxley ’s office . “ Do [we]2241-us really need this much privacy ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask when [he]87-jp shuts the door and turns to [me]0-i , pinching the tension in [his]87-jp brow with [his]87-jp fingers . Worry starts to hit [me]0-i . “ What ’s going on ? ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp eyes flash to [mine]0-i as [he]87-jp asks , “ Remember the night [you]0-i were talking about polar bears dying and donating to help the pigeons ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp remember the night , not the details . ”[87-jp] “ Do [you]87-jp remember sending an email ? ”[87-jp] “ An email ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ No , why ? ”[0-i] “ Fuck , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp mutters . “ Can [you]87-jp open [your]87-jp email ? ”[87-jp] [I]0-i hand [him]87-jp [my]0-i phone , and [he]87-jp clicks on the mail app . “ What the hell is going on ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp taps away , and when [he]87-jp does n’t find what [he]87-jp ’s looking for , [he]87-jp presses [his]87-jp fist to [his]87-jp mouth . “ That night , [we]4357-we spoke on the phone . [You]87-jp were extremely drunk , and [I]87-jp told [you]87-jp to get some food and not do anything stupid . ”[87-jp] “ Okay . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i drag out . “ Well , [I]0-i think [you]87-jp did something stupid , but [I]0-i ca n’t find it . ”[0-i] “ What the fuck did [I]87-jp do ? ”[87-jp] [You]87-jp were upset about [Kelsey]89-kelsey and the wedding and needing a date , so [you]87-jp told [me]0-i [you]87-jp were going to send a generic email to [girls]2898-girls [you]87-jp knew , asking if [they]2898-girls wanted to be [[your]87-jp date]2772-your date . ”[0-i] [My]0-i stomach sinks . “ Shit , [I]0-i vaguely recall that . ”[0-i] [I]0-i scour through [my]0-i emails . “ But [I]0-i do n’t see anything in [my]0-i sent box . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker know . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker pushes [his]97-breaker hand through [his]97-breaker hair . [I]97-breaker ’m fucking confused . ”[97-breaker] “ Why ? Why are [you]97-breaker even bringing this up ? ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker was tipped off by [Dave Toney]168-dave . [He]168-dave said there ’s an article coming out tomorrow about [you]0-i sending an email to [a bunch of [women]2683-women]4360-a bunch of women , asking if [they]4360-a bunch of women want to be [[your]0-i date]2772-your date . But . . . but [you]0-i did n’t send anything . ”[97-breaker] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , the cool , breezy attitude [I]0-i had slowly shrinking away . “ How the fuck would [someone]364-someone have known that ? Is it a fake email ? ”[0-i] “ That ’s what [I]2243-i ’m thinking . But [I]2243-i ca n’t be sure . [Dave]168-dave sent [me]2243-i the name of the person who tipped [him]168-dave off and [I]2243-i sent [them]4360-a bunch of women a text , asking for more information . ”[2243-i] [His]2243-i eyes meet [mine]0-i . [I]2243-i ’m not worried about [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey . [I]2243-i ’m worried about [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[2243-i] “ Well , it ’s fucking fake . [I]2243-i did n’t send anything out . The proof is in [my]2243-i email . ”[2243-i] Just then , [Breaker]97-breaker ’s phone beeps with a message . [He]97-breaker pulls [his]97-breaker phone from [his]97-breaker pocket and opens the text message . [He]97-breaker turns the screen toward [me]0-i and asks , “ Then what the fuck is this ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i bring the phone closer to [me]0-i and read the email . Hey ladieeees , Sending a big old cock of an email because , [you]2244-you know . . . [I]0-i have a big cock , so this email has to match . Here ’s the thing . [Hux]141-hux is getting married to [Lulu Lemon]241-lulu lemon and [they]2245-they told [me]0-i [I]0-i need a plus - one . Looking for [a willing candidate]2246-a willing candidate to escort [me]0-i down the aisle . All expenses paid . Promises of pleasure . If interested , hit [me]0-i up . [I]0-i wear condoms still . K. Bye . JP “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [I]0-i do n’t remember sending this . It ’s not in [my]0-i email . [I]0-i do n’t fucking understand . ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker points to the top of the screen . “ It ’s not [your]0-i work email . . . it ’s [your]0-i personal . ”[97-breaker] At that moment , [I]0-i feel all the color drain from [my]0-i face as [I]0-i realize [he]97-breaker ’s right . [I]0-i never check [my]0-i personal email , ever . [I]0-i shove [Breaker]97-breaker ’s phone at [him]97-breaker and open [my]0-i personal email . [I]0-i sift through promotional newsletters until [I]0-i see several responses to [my]0-i email . [McKayla]228-mckayla . [Kenzie]229-kenzie . [Hattie]230-hattie . With every reply , it feels like a nail in [my]0-i coffin as [I]0-i try to figure out how to fucking deal with this . [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i forehead and say , “ Fuck , this is n’t good . Do [you]97-breaker know anything about the article ? ”[0-i] “ All [I]97-breaker know is this email is in it , it mentions the wedding , and , uh . . . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker winces . “ What ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i ask , a ball of twisted , tortured anxiety forming in [my]0-i stomach . “ Uh , it talks about [Kelsey]89-kelsey and [her]89-kelsey business , and alludes to [the girls]3173-the girls using any means necessary to be successful , including hooking up with [the Cane brothers]3391-the cane brothers . ”[0-i] “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell as [I]0-i pace [the office]548-the office . “ FUCK ! ”[0-i] Hands on [my]0-i hips , [I]0-i say , [We]4366-we need to kill it , [man]3096-man . [We]4366-we need to kill that fucking article . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’ve already contacted [Karla]165-karla , and [she]165-karla ’s working on it , but [I]0-i do n’t know , [JP]87-jp . [I]0-i do n’t know if [we]4366-we can fix this . ”[0-i] [We]4366-we have to fucking fix this . Do [you]3096-man realize how damaging that assumption would be for [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? [She]89-kelsey ’ll be fucking humiliated . Not to mention , that email is damning . ”[0-i] [My]0-i lungs seem to stop working as [I]0-i attempt to catch [my]0-i breath . [I]0-i ’ll . . . [I]0-i ’ll fucking lose [her]89-kelsey . [I]0-i ’ll lose everything . ”[0-i] [I]0-i look at [Breaker]97-breaker , pleading . “ Please , [dude]2754-dude , please help [me]0-i . Throw whatever kind of cash [we]4366-we need to throw at it . [It]4369-it just needs to be dead . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker ’ll work on it . Let [me]97-breaker call [Karla]165-karla again and see what [I]97-breaker can do . ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker starts to walk by [me]0-i , but [I]0-i grip [his]97-breaker arm and say , [I]0-i love [her]89-kelsey , [Breaker]97-breaker . [I]0-i fucking love [her]89-kelsey so much , and this will destroy [us]4366-we . [I]0-i can feel it . Please help [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [I]0-i will . Just hang here for a second . Let [me]0-i see what [I]0-i can do . ”[0-i]

* * *

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

[[My]0-i sister]414-my sister is getting married , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout as [I]0-i hold [my]0-i glass of champagne above [my]0-i head . “ Ahhh ! ”[0-i] [We]2248-we ’re standing on the clear surface over the pool , [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s arm around [my]0-i waist as [we]2248-we sway to the music . [Breaker]97-breaker returned without [JP]87-jp , only to whisk [Huxley]90-huxley away , claiming [they]2248-we had [man things ”]4371-man things ”[87-jp] to talk about . [Mom]101-mom and [Jeff]124-jeff are cuddling by the outdoor fireplace , and [Dave]168-dave and [Ellie]167-ellie are dancing next to a palm tree , taking great advantage of the alone time away from [[their]2248-we newborn]2249-their newborn . It ’s a beautiful night . The stars are bright . The champagne is pulsing through [my]0-i veins . And all [I]0-i can think about is when [I]0-i get back to [[JP]87-jp ’s place]2221-jp ’s place , [I]0-i ’m going to hump [his]87-jp brains out . [I]0-i ’m going to hump [his]87-jp brains ! ”[0-i] [I]0-i lift [my]0-i champagne glass . [Hump whose brains]4372-hump whose brains ? ”[0-i] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks [me]0-i . [JP]87-jp ’s . Tonight . [I]89-kelsey ’m going to sit on [his]87-jp head and hump [him]87-jp . ”[89-kelsey] “ Oh , [I]414-my sister love sitting on [Huxley]90-huxley ’s face . Nothing is more satisfying than feeling [his]87-jp hands ride [my]414-my sister inner thighs while [his]87-jp tongue does all the work . ”[414-my sister] [I]0-i have n’t sat on [JP]87-jp ’s face yet , but [I]0-i deep - throated [him]87-jp in [a plane]3774-a plane . ”[0-i] [I]0-i turn toward [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister and grip both of [her]414-my sister shoulders the best [I]0-i can while still holding a champagne flute . “ Have [you]414-my sister deep - throated with [your]414-my sister head hanging off the bed ? Highly recommend . [I]0-i never enjoyed balls in [my]0-i face as much as that night . ”[0-i] “ Oh , when a nut - sack rests on [my]414-my sister eyeball , it ’s a strangely comforting thing . Like a cold cucumber , but instead , a pouch full of semen . ”[414-my sister] [She]414-my sister taps [her]414-my sister eyes . “ Hmm , maybe [I]414-my sister ’ll ask for a crotch facial tonight . [Huxley]90-huxley hates when [I]414-my sister call it that , so now , [I]414-my sister always call it that . ”[414-my sister] [I]0-i wonder what [JP]87-jp would say if [I]0-i asked [him]87-jp for one . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp ’d probably say yes . [Every man]4004-every man likes to show dominance by setting [his]4004-every man junk on [a woman]3073-a woman ’s face . Think of it as a form of marking [their]4004-every man territory . ”[0-i] “ It ’s appealing , but [I]0-i also want to use this vibrator [he]87-jp has in [[his]87-jp nightstand]4376-his nightstand . It ’s just a regular one , but [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [he]87-jp ’s used it in [his]87-jp butt . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh so hard that [I]0-i start coughing . [Huxley]90-huxley likes things in [his]87-jp butt . Sometimes [I]2252-i twirl [my]2252-i finger in there . ”[2252-i] Whispering , [she]2252-i says , [He]87-jp does n’t like the twirl . ”[2252-i] [I]0-i have n’t stuck [my]0-i finger in [JP]87-jp ’s butt yet . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’m confident to do that . ”[0-i] “ No need for confidence , just poke it on up there . If [he]87-jp moans , congratulate [yourself]4377-yourself . If [he]87-jp asks what the fuck [you]4377-yourself ’re doing , just say , ‘ oh . . . [I]0-i ’m sorry , was that not where [my]0-i finger was supposed to go ? ’ ”[0-i] [I]2252-i do n’t know . [I]2252-i think [I]2252-i should just tickle [his]87-jp balls with the vibrator tonight . ”[2252-i] “ That ’s also a winning idea . Ooo , put it at the underneath part of [his]87-jp head . [I]0-i did that to [Huxley]90-huxley and , [I]0-i ’m not kidding , [he]87-jp came in five seconds . It was so hot . ”[0-i] [I]0-i like that idea . [I]0-i should text [him]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Oh , yes . Great idea . Sext [him]87-jp . ”[2252-i] [I]0-i grab [my]0-i phone from the table in front of [us]2253-us and open [our]2253-us text thread . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Hey , [big man]2254-big man . [You]89-kelsey call [him]87-jp that ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ Uh , not really , but it was the first thing that came to [my]89-kelsey mind . Should [I]89-kelsey delete it ? ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey nods . “ Call [him]87-jp [lover]4378-lover . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Hey , [big man]2254-big man . Hey , [lover]4378-lover . [I]0-i ’m thinking about [your]89-kelsey big cock right now . “ Oh yeah , tell [him]87-jp how big , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [Your]89-kelsey enormous , thick , girthy , massive , heavy , veiny cock . [God]92-god , [I]89-kelsey love a veiny cock . [You]89-kelsey should see [Huxley]90-huxley ’s when it ’s hard and straining . Sometimes [I]89-kelsey just like to watch it bob up and down when it wants release . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey : When [we]2257-we get back to [[your]89-kelsey place]3224-your place , [I]0-i want to sit on [your]89-kelsey face , but [I]0-i also want [your]89-kelsey balls in [my]0-i eyes , and [I]0-i want to vibrate [your]89-kelsey butt . “ Yes , and tell [him]4379-him how [you]89-kelsey like [his]4379-him tongue . ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey : And [I]0-i like [your]89-kelsey tongue and how it . . . uh , how it . . . licks [me]0-i . “ So sexy , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says over [my]0-i shoulder . [You]89-kelsey think so ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Uh - huh . Hit send . ”[0-i] Satisfied , [I]0-i press the blue arrow and clutch [my]0-i phone to [my]0-i chest . [I]89-kelsey ’m going to sleep with man - balls on [my]89-kelsey face tonight . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey clutches [my]0-i shoulders . “ What [a lucky girl]4380-a lucky girl . ”[89-kelsey]

* * *

JP

“ What the actual fuck , ”[2259-he] [Huxley]90-huxley roars as [he]2259-he reads through the article that ’s supposed to be posted tomorrow . Somehow , [Karla]165-karla , [the magician in [our]2261-our lives]2260-the magician in our lives , was able to secure a copy of it , and [we]2261-our ’ve spent the last ten minutes reading it over and over again . To say that [I]0-i feel sick to [my]0-i stomach is an understatement . When [I]0-i say this is bad , [I]0-i really fucking mean it . It ’s not a flattering article in any way . Not flattering for [me]0-i and [[my]0-i drunk ass]2262-my drunk ass — it paints [me]0-i as [a philandering nitwit who sends borderline sexual harassment emails when drunk]2263-a philandering nitwit who sends borderline sexual harassment emails when drunk . And it paints [Kelsey]89-kelsey as [a gold digger looking for handouts]2264-a gold digger looking for handouts . It ’s worse than [I]0-i expected . [I]0-i ’ve now resorted to rolling up [my]0-i sleeves , pacing the length of [[Huxley]90-huxley ’s office]2242-huxley ’s office , and praying to [the goddamn pigeons]2266-the goddamn pigeons to please fix this . [I]0-i ’ve been [a good person]2267-a good person in [my]0-i lifetime . [I]0-i ’ve donated a lot of money , volunteered [my]0-i time , done some real , life - changing things to afford [me]0-i some good karma . So , [I]0-i ’m calling on [the universe]530-the universe to toss some solid , good - natured karma [my]0-i way . [Huxley]90-huxley turns on [me]0-i . “ What the hell were [you]0-i thinking ? ”[90-huxley] [I]0-i was n’t , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout at [him]2269-him . [I]0-i was drunk and desperate . Heartbroken . [You]0-i do n’t know what those two weeks were like in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . Seeing [her]4381-her go out with [someone else]2834-someone else when [she]4381-her would n’t even look [my]0-i way — fuck , man , it ate [me]0-i alive . ”[0-i] “ So , [you]0-i go and send a crude email to [a bunch of women asking if [they]4383-a bunch of women asking if they want to be your date want to be [[your]0-i date]2772-your date]4383-a bunch of women asking if they want to be your date ? ”[90-huxley] “ Well , [you]0-i fucking told [Dave Toney]168-dave [you]0-i had [a pregnant fiancée]4385-a pregnant fiancée . [We]2270-we do n’t always make smart decisions , ”[0-i] [I]0-i shout back . “ Hey , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says , stepping in between [us]2270-we . [Karla]165-karla is working with [the reporter who wrote the article]4386-the reporter who wrote the article . It seems like the website can be paid off , so [we]2270-we might not even have to worry about it . ”[97-breaker] “ Fuck , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley shouts while pulling on [his]2271-his hair . “ This is not what [I]90-huxley fucking need the night before [my]90-huxley wedding . ”[90-huxley] “ Do [you]97-breaker think [I]0-i need this ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , pointing to [my]0-i chest . [My]0-i goddamn happiness rests on what happens . No matter what , [Lottie]89-kelsey is going to marry [you]90-huxley tomorrow , but [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey might not even look [my]0-i way if this gets out . ”[0-i] “ Would serve [you]97-breaker right , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . “ Hey , ”[90-huxley] [Breaker]97-breaker yells , pulling [our]2272-we attention . With angry eyes , [he]97-breaker stares down [Huxley]90-huxley and says , [You]90-huxley fucked up big time when it came to that bullshit with [Lottie]89-kelsey . [The company]3158-the company ’s reputation was at risk of being demolished , and [we]2272-we stood by [your]90-huxley side and helped [you]90-huxley . [We]2272-we made sure to go along with everything [you]90-huxley needed to make sure [no one]2811-no one was harmed . So , do n’t turn [your]90-huxley back on [[your]90-huxley brother]2724-your brother . [He]2724-your brother ’s right , [you]90-huxley have no clue what [he]2724-your brother ’s been going through , not to mention , the fact that [he]2724-your brother actually allowed [someone]364-someone into [his]2724-your brother life again after [Dad]246-dad ’s passing . [You]90-huxley should be asking [him]2724-your brother how [he]2724-your brother ’s feeling , not making [him]2724-your brother feel worse . ”[97-breaker] [Huxley]90-huxley glances at [me]0-i , and [his]2273-his shoulders deflate as [he]2273-his says , “ Fuck , [you]0-i ’re right . Shit , [I]2273-his ’m sorry . ”[2273-his] [He]2273-his rubs [his]2273-his brow . “ Are [you]0-i okay ? ”[2273-his] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . [I]0-i ’m not . [I]0-i ’m fucking scared . [I]0-i ca n’t lose [her]4391-her , [man]3096-man . [I]0-i ca n’t . ”[0-i] “ How about this . It ’s getting late , so why do n’t [you]0-i just explain to [her]4391-her what ’s going on , be ahead of the curve , and tell [her]4391-her that [you]0-i ’re killing the article ? That way , [you]0-i ’re honest with [her]4391-her , and stopping the possible argument that could break things up , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker suggests . [Huxley]90-huxley nods . “ That ’s probably smart . Being caught off guard is worse than having that conversation with [her]4391-her . ”[90-huxley] [You]0-i ’re probably right . [I]0-i should take [her]4391-her to [[my]0-i place]3926-my place , sit [her]4391-her down , and have an honest conversation with [her]4391-her . ”[0-i] [My]0-i phone beeps with a text message . [I]0-i glance at the screen and see that it ’s from [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [She]4391-her just texted . Maybe [she]4391-her ’s ready to leave . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i open the text and read it . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Hey , [lover]4378-lover . [I]0-i ’m thinking about [your]4378-lover big cock right now . [Your]4378-lover enormous , thick , girthy , massive , heavy , veiny cock . When [we]2275-we get back to [[your]4378-lover place]3224-your place , [I]0-i want to sit on [your]4378-lover face , but [I]0-i also want [your]4378-lover balls in [my]0-i eyes , and [I]0-i want to vibrate [your]4378-lover butt . And [I]0-i like [your]4378-lover tongue and how it . . . uh , how it . . . licks [me]0-i . What . . . the . . . fuck ? “ What is it ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks . “ What were [the girls]3173-the girls doing before [you]90-huxley left [them]3173-the girls ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Huxley]90-huxley . “ Getting more champagne , ”[2277-he] [he]2277-he says , confused . “ Why ? ”[2277-he] “ Because , from the text [Kelsey]89-kelsey just sent [me]90-huxley , [I]90-huxley can almost guarantee [she]2278-she ’s completely wasted . ”[90-huxley] “ Fuck , ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley says . Yeah . . . fuck is right . [I]0-i can almost guarantee whatever conversation [I]0-i attempt to have with [her]2278-she tonight is going to be absolutely pointless .

* * *

[KELSEY]89-kelsey

[You]87-jp ’re so handsome , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i wait for [JP]87-jp to open [his]87-jp front door . “ Like , really handsome . [The most handsome]4395-the most handsome . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp looks over [his]87-jp shoulder at [me]0-i and raises a brow . “ How much did [you]87-jp have to drink ? ”[87-jp] “ Lots . ”[0-i] [I]0-i fling [my]0-i arms up in the air . “ And [I]87-jp have a fun fact for [you]0-i , [JP]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp opens [his]87-jp door , takes [my]0-i hand , and brings [me]0-i into [[his]87-jp house]911-his house . “ What ’s [your]0-i fun fact ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks , relocking [his]87-jp front door . “ When [I]87-jp drink , something happens to [my]87-jp body . ”[87-jp] Leaning in , [I]0-i whisper , [I]0-i get really horny . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp eyes widen and [he]87-jp starts coughing . [I]0-i offer [him]87-jp a sturdy pat on the back and then . . . [I]0-i unzip [my]0-i dress and let it fall to the floor . Before [he]87-jp can say anything , [I]0-i grip the cups of [my]0-i strapless bra and flip them down , exposing [my]0-i breasts to [him]87-jp . [Kelsey]89-kelsey — ”[0-i] [I]0-i do n’t give [him]87-jp time to finish before [I]0-i grip the back of [his]87-jp head and bury [his]87-jp nose right between [my]0-i breasts . [I]0-i add a little shimmy , a little shake , and then pull [him]87-jp away . [His]87-jp hair is mussed . [His]87-jp body is rigid . And there ’s no smile on [his]87-jp face . Umm . . . did [he]87-jp not like that ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey — ”[87-jp] “ Wait . . . did [you]89-kelsey not enjoy [that motorboat]4396-that motorboat ? [Lottie]89-kelsey said [Huxley]90-huxley likes it . [I]87-jp figured it would run in [the family]3455-the family . Does that mean [you]89-kelsey like the butt twirl since [he]87-jp does n’t like the butt twirl ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp grips [his]87-jp hair . “ What ’s the butt twirl ? ”[87-jp] With [my]0-i index finger , [I]0-i make a twirling motion and shoot it up to the sky . “ Right up [the old toot - toot]4398-the old toot - toot . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp face falls . “ What the fuck did [you]4399-you two talk about ? ”[87-jp] [Breasts]293-breasts still hanging out , [I]0-i move around [him]87-jp and go to [[his]87-jp staircase]2280-his staircase . [I]0-i lie across [the stairs]471-the stairs and spread [my]0-i legs . “ Come and get [her]4400-her . [She]4400-her ’s ready for [you]87-jp . Ripe and ready . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [baby]2899-baby , maybe [we]4399-you should just get ready for bed . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lift up on [my]0-i elbows and say , “ Oh , trying to lure [me]0-i into [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom . [I]0-i see [you]87-jp , [Cane]201-jonah . [I]0-i see [you]87-jp . Sure , let ’s ‘ just get ready for bed . ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i use air quotes . [He]2282-his offers [me]0-i [his]2282-his hand and [I]0-i take it as [we]2283-we walk up [the stairs]471-the stairs . [I]0-i drag [my]0-i hand over the black stair rail , enjoying the smooth , polished surface , and [I]0-i allow [him]2282-his to guide [me]0-i to [[his]2282-his room]557-his room . But [he]2282-his does n’t stop at the bed . Instead , [he]2282-his walks [me]0-i to the sink and helps [me]0-i with [my]0-i toothbrush . “ Are [you]2282-his saying [I]0-i have bad breath ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [him]2282-his . [He]2282-his shakes [his]2282-his head . “ No , [babe]2728-babe , this is just routine . And [I]2282-his know how much [you]2728-babe like routine . ”[2282-his] [I]0-i stick [my]0-i toothbrush in [my]0-i hand , stare [him]2282-his down , and say , “ God , it turns [me]0-i on that [you]2282-his know that about [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ Seems like everything is turning [you]2728-babe on right now . ”[2282-his] “ Show [me]2282-his [your]2728-babe toenails , and [I]2282-his bet [I]2282-his come right here , right now . ”[2282-his] “ Wow , that champagne has really done a number on [you]2728-babe . ”[0-i] [I]2282-his love champagne . Do n’t [you]2282-his ? ”[2282-his] “ Why do n’t [you]2728-babe just focus on brushing [your]2728-babe teeth ? [I]2282-his ’ll get [you]2728-babe a shirt to change into . ”[2282-his] “ Do n’t bother , [I]2282-his want to sleep naked . ”[2282-his] [I]0-i see [his]2282-his Adam ’s apple bob . “ Are [you]2282-his sure ? [You]2728-babe can wear one of [my]0-i shirts . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ Naked , or [I]0-i scream . ”[0-i] “ Well , [we]2286-we do n’t want [you]2282-his screaming — ”[0-i] “ Only when it ’s [your]2282-his name , right . . . [Jonah]201-jonah ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i wiggle [my]0-i eyebrows and [he]2282-his heaves a heavy sigh . [We]2286-we spend the next few minutes “ getting ready for bed ”[0-i] aka , prepping [our]2286-we bodies for the magic that ’s about to happen , and when [I]0-i ’m done , [I]0-i trot into [[his]2282-his bedroom]1319-his bedroom to find [him]2282-his standing in [his]2282-his boxer briefs , staring down at [his]2282-his phone . Wearing nothing but [my]0-i very own skin , [I]0-i grip the doorframe and say , “ Yoo - hoo , look [who ’s ready for bed]4404-who ’s ready for bed ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i twiddle [my]0-i fingers at [him]2282-his . [He]2282-his sets [his]2282-his phone down and turns toward [me]0-i . [I]0-i watch as [his]2282-his eyes practically eat [me]0-i alive . That ’s right , take [your]2282-his fill , [big boy]2288-big boy . [I]0-i move one foot in front of the other and saunter toward [him]2282-his in this come - hither , sexy way that [I]0-i know must be driving [him]2282-his absolutely crazy with need . “ Congratulations , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say when [I]0-i reach [him]2282-his and put [my]0-i hands on [his]2282-his chest . “ Congratulations for what ? ”[2282-his] [he]2282-his asks . “ For growing such a large boner . ”[2282-his] [I]0-i cup [his]2282-his crotch , ready for [his]2282-his rocket , only to come up with . . . a snail . [I]0-i glance up at [him]2282-his . “ Why are [you]2282-his not hard ? ”[0-i] “ Listen , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [I]0-i think [we]4405-we should just go to bed , okay ? It ’s been a long night and [we]4405-we have a big day tomorrow . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take a step back . “ No , [you]2282-his ’re not — [you’re]2282-his not hard . Do [you]2282-his not find [me]0-i attractive ? ”[0-i] [Baby]268-baby , [you]268-baby know that ’s not true . [You]268-baby know [I]0-i fucking love [your]268-baby body . [You]268-baby know [I]0-i think [you]268-baby ’re [the sexiest woman [I]0-i ’ve ever met]4406-the sexiest woman i ’ve ever met . [You]268-baby know [I]0-i ’m absolutely head over heels attracted to [you]268-baby . ”[0-i] “ But . . . [you]2282-his ’re not hard . ”[0-i] [I]0-i back away again . “ Is it [my]0-i flirtation ? Do [you]268-baby not like it ? ”[0-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , let [’s]4407-’s just get under the covers and go to bed . [You]2282-his ’ve had a lot to drink — ”[0-i] “ Oh God , [I]0-i turned [you]2282-his off . ”[0-i] [I]0-i back up some more until [I]0-i run into [his]2289-he dresser , where the shirt [he]2289-he wanted [me]0-i to wear is folded . [I]0-i quickly put it over [my]0-i body , attempting to find some sort of shield as embarrassment consumes [me]0-i . “ No , that ’s not it at all . ”[2289-he] [He]2289-he blows out a frustrated breath and grips [his]2289-he hair . “ Can [we]4407-’s just go to bed ? ”[2289-he] [I]0-i feel [my]0-i eyes well up with tears as [my]0-i heightened embarrassment pushes [me]0-i toward the other end of [his]2289-he bed . [I]0-i pause and quietly ask , “ Do [you]2289-he want [me]0-i to share [[your]2289-he bed]4408-your bed ? [I]0-i can go over to [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’re not going anywhere , ”[2289-he] [he]2289-he growls , and then [he]2289-he approaches [me]0-i . [He]2289-he takes [my]0-i hand in [his]2289-he and places a soft kiss on [my]0-i knuckles . [I]2289-he want [you]0-i in [my]2289-he bed . ”[2289-he] “ But [you]2289-he do n’t want [me]0-i . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as a tear falls down [my]0-i cheek . [I]0-i quickly wipe it away . [I]0-i came on too strong . [I]0-i said things that probably scared [you]2289-he . [I]0-i ’m not [the girl [you]2289-he thought [I]0-i was]4409-the girl you thought i was , that ’s what [you]2289-he ’re thinking , right ? This is why [I]0-i ’m always vanilla , why [I]0-i do n’t step out of [my]0-i box to do things [I]0-i do n’t normally do . ”[0-i] [Baby]268-baby , stop . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head and pull [my]0-i hand away from [him]2290-he . [I]0-i get it , [JP]87-jp . [You]87-jp did n’t like what [I]0-i said tonight . ”[0-i] [I]0-i slip under the covers of [his]2290-he bed . [I]2290-he should just sleep it off , [you]87-jp know ? ”[2290-he] [He]2290-he stands next to the bed , staring down at [me]0-i , tugging on [his]2290-he hair . [I]0-i can see [he]2290-he wants to say something , that there ’s something on the tip of [his]2290-he tongue , but instead of telling [me]0-i what ’s on [his]2290-he mind , [he]2290-he turns away and goes to [his]2290-he side of the bed . [My]0-i heart completely falls . [I]0-i almost expected [him]2290-he to tell [me]0-i that [he]2290-he did like what [he]2290-he heard , but that . . . [I]0-i do n’t know , something is on [his]2290-he mind . But instead , [he]2290-he turns off the lights and slips under the covers with [me]0-i . But the worst thing that happens , worse than [his]2290-he rejection , is that when [I]0-i fall asleep , [he]2290-he ’s not holding [me]0-i . [He]2290-he ’s on [his]2290-he side of the bed , as far from [me]0-i as [he]2290-he can be .

* * *

[JP]87-jp

[I]0-i ’m going to fucking puke , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i walk into [[Breaker]97-breaker ’s place]2291-breaker ’s place . [He]2290-he woke [me]0-i up at five with a phone call telling [me]0-i [he]2290-he needed [me]0-i at [[his]2290-he place]1089-his place as soon as [I]0-i could get [there]2954-there . [I]0-i sprinted out of bed , threw some clothes on , and rushed to [[his]2290-he place]1089-his place . [Kelsey]89-kelsey was still sleeping when [I]0-i left . The phone call luckily did n’t wake [her]89-kelsey . Last night was fucking torture , and [I]0-i still feel sick about it now . All [I]0-i wanted was to take [[my]0-i confident girl]2295-my confident girl to bed , to do all the things [she]2295-my confident girl wanted to do , but [I]0-i knew [I]0-i could n’t , not with the threat of that defamatory article hanging over [my]0-i head . It not only did n’t feel right , but [I]0-i ’ve been so nauseated with worry that attempting to get it up seemed impossible . That was proven when [she]2295-my confident girl was walking toward [me]0-i , so goddamn sexy in absolutely nothing , and [I]0-i did n’t even have a stir of excitement . And the hurt on [her]2295-my confident girl face . Fuck . [I]0-i hated that in particular . “ What ’s going on ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Breaker]97-breaker . “ Is [Huxley]90-huxley here ? ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker shakes [his]97-breaker head as [we]2296-we both walk into [[his]97-breaker office]1198-his office off the entryway . [I]97-breaker did n’t think [I]97-breaker ’d bother [him]97-breaker with this bullshit . [He]97-breaker has a wedding , so [I]97-breaker just told [him]97-breaker it was handled . ”[97-breaker] “ Has it been ? Handled , that is ? ”[97-breaker] [He]97-breaker shakes [his]97-breaker head as [he]97-breaker takes a seat at [his]97-breaker desk . “ The article is currently on hold , pending [our]2296-we decision . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i know exactly what that means — blackmail . Searing anger pulses through [me]0-i as [I]0-i ask , “ What do [they]4410-they want ? ”[0-i] “ Well , the good thing is , [the person who sent [them]4410-they [your]0-i email]4411-the person who sent them your email had signed an NDA with the gossip website , meaning [they]4410-they ca n’t sell the story to [anyone else]358-anyone else . So , if [they]4410-they do n’t run it , [she]4411-the person who sent them your email ca n’t take it to another website . ”[97-breaker] “ Thank fuck for that . But [I]97-breaker ’m sure [they]4410-they paid [her]4411-the person who sent them your email to sign that NDA . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker nods . “ And [they]4410-they want that , on top of what [they]4410-they would ’ve lost in website revenue for clicks , right ? ”[97-breaker] [They]4410-they want two million . ”[97-breaker] “ Jesus fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i roar as [I]0-i stand . “ That ’s fucking extortion . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker have [Taylor]157-taylor on it . That ’s why it ’s currently pending . [They]4410-they , of course , do n’t see it as extortion , [they]4410-they see it as [us]4413-we buying out a piece of revenue . ”[97-breaker] “ Bullshit , ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell . “ Show [me]0-i the goddamn numbers that prove [they]4410-they ’d make two million dollars of revenue off that story . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker know , but , [dude]2754-dude , this is a dip in the bank that wo n’t make a huge difference . [I]97-breaker looked over the numbers , and [I]97-breaker can maneuver things around and slip the damage control fee into the books in a way that [no one]2811-no one would know , and [we]4413-we ’d still get a tax break for it . [We]4413-we ’re trying to convince [them]4410-they to see it as a donation . ”[97-breaker] “ That ’s lying . ”[97-breaker] “ Which is why [I]97-breaker thought [I]97-breaker ’d talk to [you]2754-dude . [They]4410-they said [they]4410-they ’d use some of [their]4410-they website ad space to promote something [we]4413-we ’re passionate about so it looks like a donation on [their]4410-they end . ”[97-breaker] “ What an entirely fucked - up situation . So , what , [they]4410-they ’re asking what [we]4413-we want to promote on [their]4410-they website ? ”[0-i] “ Yes , and offered to put [our]4413-we name on it . ”[97-breaker] “ Fuck that , ”[0-i] [I]0-i yell . [They]4410-they ’re not getting Cane Enterprises on anything . ”[0-i] “ Dude , [I]0-i know [you]2754-dude ’re upset , but given the situation [we]4413-we ’re in — and wanting to save [Kelsey]89-kelsey the embarrassment if this got out — it would be smart to take the deal . And just throw down some charity , some random . . . oh , hey , fucking give [them]4410-they the pigeon charity to promote . It wo n’t have [our]4413-we name on it , but [we]4413-we can write it off in the books , and [I]0-i ’m sure the last thing [they]4410-they want on [their]4410-they website is a sponsored ad about pigeons . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pause , the anger easing only slightly as [I]0-i think about the pigeons and how comical that would actually be . [I]0-i grip [my]0-i jaw , [my]0-i fingers rubbing over the morning scruff . [You]2754-dude know , there are some real ill - looking pigeons [we]4413-we could get for the ad . ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker laughs . “ Not a good look for [them]4416-them , but it all kind of works out in the end . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker need front ad space , for two weeks , and final say in what the ad looks like . ”[97-breaker] [Taylor]157-taylor has already worked that in . ”[97-breaker] “ Okay . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod and take a seat in a chair again . “ Fucking do it . Get this nightmare off [my]0-i hands . ”[0-i] [Breaker]97-breaker shoots off a text , and when [he]97-breaker ’s done , [he]97-breaker sets [his]97-breaker phone down on [his]97-breaker desk and leans back in [his]97-breaker chair . “ Fuck , [dude]2754-dude , can [you]2754-dude just listen to [me]97-breaker next time ? [I]97-breaker might be younger than [you]2754-dude , but [I]97-breaker ’m pretty damn smart . Sending an email to [random girls in [your]2754-dude contacts list]4418-random girls in your contacts list does n’t scream best idea ever . ”[97-breaker] “ Yeah , well , hopefully those days are behind [me]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker ’m guessing , given [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s inebriated state , [you]2754-dude were n’t able to talk to [her]89-kelsey ? ”[97-breaker] “ No , and then [she]89-kelsey tried on this cute seduction thing . . . fuck . [I]0-i loved seeing [her]89-kelsey so open and wanting to try things , but [I]0-i could n’t participate . [I]0-i could n’t , in good conscience , fuck [her]89-kelsey . [She]89-kelsey was devastated , even cried . ”[0-i] [My]0-i stomach twists uncomfortably . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i slept more than two hours . ”[0-i] “ Well , this is taken care of . Maybe stop by [[her]89-kelsey favorite coffee place on the way [home]2941-home]4419-her favorite coffee place on the way home and make it up to [her]89-kelsey now . Because [[our]4421-our brother]4422-our brother is getting married , and [we]4421-our want to be there for [him]4422-our brother , mentally . ”[0-i] [I]0-i know . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stand and reach [my]0-i fist out to [[my]0-i brother]390-my brother . [He]390-my brother knocks it with [his]390-my brother as [I]0-i say , “ Thanks for taking the lead on this . It means a lot to [me]390-my brother . ”[390-my brother] “ It ’s what [family]403-family is for , [dude]2754-dude , and [I]390-my brother meant what [I]390-my brother said last night . [I]390-my brother ’m really fucking happy for [you]2754-dude . [I]390-my brother know losing [Dad]246-dad was harder on [you]2754-dude than [Hux]141-hux and [me]390-my brother , and seeing [you]2754-dude out there , opening [yourself]2754-dude up to love . . . [I]390-my brother ’m really happy for [you]2754-dude . Proud of [you]2754-dude . ”[390-my brother] “ Thank [you]2299-you . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smile at [him]2299-you . “ Okay , fuck . . . [I]0-i feel like a giant weight has been lifted off [my]0-i shoulders . Time to go shower [[my]0-i girl]2897-my girl with love . Still meeting at [[my]0-i place]3926-my place in an hour ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , checking [my]0-i phone . “ Yeah . Why [Huxley]90-huxley wants [us]4427-us [there]2954-there so early is beyond [me]0-i , but [he]97-breaker has plans to spend time with [[his]97-breaker brothers]1099-his brothers before the [I]0-i dos . [I]0-i think basketball is on the schedule . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’ve been practicing . ”[0-i] [I]0-i point at [Breaker]97-breaker as [I]0-i head toward the door of [[his]97-breaker office]1198-his office . “ Look out . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m not even worried in the slightest . There ’s no way [you]97-breaker could ’ve improved to be able to beat [me]0-i in the short amount of time since [we]4430-we last played . ”[0-i] “ What little faith . See [you]97-breaker in a bit . ”[0-i] [I]0-i tap [his]97-breaker doorframe and then take off . [I]0-i need to grab a coffee for [[my]0-i girl]2897-my girl , and hopefully , [I]0-i can give [her]2897-my girl one quick orgasm before [I]0-i send [her]2897-my girl on [her]2897-my girl way .

Chapter Twenty - Two

KELSEY

[My]0-i throat feels completely dry as [I]0-i sit up in bed . The cold , empty bed . [I]0-i lean over to the nightstand and switch on the light , illuminating [the dark room]2302-the dark room perfectly . [I]0-i glance around but see no trace of [JP]87-jp . [His]87-jp phone is n’t on [his]87-jp nightstand . Did [he]87-jp even sleep [here]2716-here ? [I]0-i wish [I]0-i was [that person who could drink a lot of champagne , black out , and not remember one thing from the night before]2304-that person who could drink a lot of champagne , black out , and not remember one thing from the night before . Unfortunately , that ’s not [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m [the girl who usually has the hangover attached to all the regret . And that ’s what [I]0-i ’m feeling right now]2305-the girl who usually has the hangover attached to all the regret . and that ’s what i ’m feeling right now . An immense amount of regret . Regret how [I]0-i acted . What [I]0-i said . For thrusting [myself]0-i upon [JP]87-jp when clearly . . . well , when clearly , [I]0-i was anything but attractive to [him]87-jp last night . And the way [he]87-jp shut down as if [I]0-i actually repulsed [him]87-jp . [He]87-jp would n’t even hold [me]0-i last night . No wonder [he]87-jp ’s not [here]2716-here this morning . [I]0-i took things too far . [I]0-i flip the covers off [my]0-i body and walk over to [the bathroom]1118-the bathroom . [I]0-i look for a note , maybe a cup of coffee [he]87-jp left behind for [me]0-i like [he]87-jp ’s done in the past . Nothing . Worry consumes [me]0-i as [I]0-i make [my]0-i way down [the stairs]471-the stairs and to [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen . Nothing . Maybe [he]87-jp texted [me]0-i . [I]0-i walk back up [the stairs]471-the stairs — grateful [I]0-i do n’t have a headache , only a serious case of dry mouth — and when [I]0-i reach [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom again , [I]0-i check [my]0-i phone for a message . Nothing . Once again , that ill - fated embarrassment consumes [me]0-i as the worst - case scenario plays in [my]0-i head . [I]0-i turned [him]87-jp off last night . [I]0-i ’m thinking that as much as [he]87-jp said [he]87-jp likes relaxed - [Kelsey]89-kelsey , drunk - [Kelsey]89-kelsey does n’t appeal . And , fair enough . But [I]0-i absolutely hate how the feelings this . . . emptiness is so similar to when [Edwin]142-edwin left that night with [Genesis]144-genesis . And [she]144-genesis was stunning , intelligent , and lovely . Not neurotic and uptight like [I]0-i am . Let ’s be honest , [JP]87-jp had chosen [her]144-genesis first , as well . Even though [I]0-i felt only a tenth of what [I]0-i feel for [JP]87-jp for [Edwin]142-edwin , it still stung when [he]87-jp walked away . So , what will [I]0-i feel if [JP]87-jp does the same ? [Devastated]294-devastated . But why on [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s wedding day ? [He]87-jp said that [he]87-jp ’d been waiting for [me]0-i for a long time , so it ’s an awful feeling knowing [I]0-i ’ve hit the expiry date of the playboy . Is this [him]87-jp letting [me]0-i down easy ? Shit . This just seems wrong . Or maybe . . . right ? What am [I]0-i doing with these circular arguments ? Either way , [he]87-jp ’s not here now . [I]0-i ’m not sure when [he]87-jp ’ll return , but [I]0-i know one thing for certain — [I]0-i ca n’t be [here]2716-here . [I]0-i go to the dresser where [I]0-i keep some of [my]0-i things and pull out a pair of joggers . [I]0-i do n’t bother changing [my]0-i shirt . [I]0-i quickly brush [my]0-i teeth , toss [my]0-i hair up into a ponytail , and slip on sandals . Phone in hand , [I]0-i walk down [the stairs]471-the stairs to [the entryway]628-the entryway , and just as [I]0-i ’m opening the door , [I]0-i hear [JP]87-jp ask , “ Where are [you]0-i going ? ”[87-jp] Frozen in place , [I]0-i turn toward where [his]87-jp voice came from — [the kitchen]2687-the kitchen — and [I]0-i offer [him]87-jp the best smile [I]0-i can muster . “ Uh , over to [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s . Bridal things . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wave at [him]87-jp because [I]0-i ’m awkward . “ So , yeah , happy wedding day to [everyone]2734-everyone . ”[87-jp] [His]87-jp brow pulls together . [You]0-i ’re just going to leave like that ? No kiss goodbye ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp walks up to [me]0-i with a to - go cup of coffee in [his]87-jp hand . “ Oh , yeah , kiss , right . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i meet [him]87-jp halfway , stand on [my]0-i toes , and then peck [him]87-jp on the chin . “ Okay , well , see [you]0-i at the altar . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes widen . “ Not [our]4432-our altar , the wedding altar , the wedding that ’s not happening between [us]4432-our , but between [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley . ”[0-i] [I]0-i back up toward the door . “ So , yeah , see [you]87-jp later . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]89-kelsey , wait a second . ”[0-i] [I]0-i really have to go , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say to [him]87-jp . [Lottie]89-kelsey needs help . [She]89-kelsey has , uh . . . a , uh zit . ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . “ Yup , a zit . And [she]89-kelsey needs help soothing the zit before the wedding , and if [anyone]377-anyone is [the zit whisperer]4434-the zit whisperer , [I]0-i am . But it takes time to soothe a zit and [we]4432-our ’re on borrowed time . ”[0-i] [His]87-jp brows draw even closer together than before , and as [I]0-i cross toward the front door , [he]87-jp continues to follow [me]0-i . “ Well , at least let [me]87-jp walk [you]0-i across [the street]3003-the street . ”[87-jp] “ Oh , that ’s okay . [I]87-jp do n’t want to trouble [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] [You]0-i ’re not troubling [me]87-jp , [babe]2728-babe . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp catches up to [me]0-i , takes [my]0-i hand in [his]87-jp , and links [our]2316-we fingers , the feel of [his]87-jp palm connected with [mine]0-i nearly making the thin grasp [I]0-i have on [my]0-i emotions slip . [He]87-jp tugs [me]0-i close to [him]87-jp and kisses the top of [my]0-i head . “ How did [you]0-i sleep ? ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp asks as [we]2316-we make [our]2316-we way to [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley ’s . “ Uh . . . fine , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , feeling so awkward , so uncomfortable . There ’s a giant elephant in [the room]345-the room and it ’s sitting on [our]2316-we clasped hands , tugging [me]0-i down . “ Just fine ? ”[87-jp] “ Yeah , fine . ”[2316-we] [We]2316-we cross [the street]3003-the street , and to keep the conversation flowing so [he]87-jp does n’t ask [me]0-i what ’s wrong with [me]0-i , because [I]0-i can feel it coming , [I]0-i ask , “ Excited about [your]87-jp plans today ? [I]0-i think [you]87-jp have basketball and some special shave session with facials at [a barbershop]4437-a barbershop , and [I]0-i believe some sort of barbecue tasting . Seemed fancy , when [Lottie]89-kelsey was explaining it to [me]0-i . ”[0-i] “ There ’s a lot going on . [He]87-jp wanted to plan some things with [us]2316-we before [we]2316-we walk down the aisle . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp holds up the coffee to [me]0-i just as [we]2316-we make it to [their]2319-their front door . [I]87-jp got this for [you]0-i . [Your]87-jp favorite skinny vanilla latte . ”[87-jp] “ Oh . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take the cup . “ Thank [you]87-jp . That was nice of [you]87-jp . [You]87-jp went out to get [me]0-i coffee ? ”[0-i] “ Nah , [I]87-jp was out and figured [I]87-jp ’d stop . ”[87-jp] Why was [he]87-jp out so early in the morning ? Do n’t even go [there]2954-there , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [You]89-kelsey ’re not in the right frame of mind . It ’ll only do [you]89-kelsey more harm than good . “ Well , thank [you]87-jp . ”[90-huxley] Luckily , just as [I]0-i go to knock on the door , [Huxley]90-huxley appears . “ Hey , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , looking between [us]2321-us , but when [he]87-jp meets [JP]87-jp ’s eyes , [they]2321-us exchange some sort of conversation , and when [JP]87-jp nods , [Huxley]90-huxley clears [his]87-jp throat and steps aside . [Lottie]89-kelsey is [upstairs]3023-upstairs . ”[87-jp] “ Yup . Zit control , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i release [JP]87-jp ’s hand and attempt to squeeze by [Huxley]90-huxley . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp says before [I]0-i can get too far . “ Hmm ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , looking over [my]0-i shoulder . “ Are [you]87-jp going to say bye ? ”[0-i] “ Oh , yeah , sorry . [I]0-i ’ve got zits on the brain . ”[0-i] [I]0-i once again give [him]87-jp a kiss on [his]87-jp chin , but as [I]0-i step away , [he]87-jp loops [his]87-jp arm around [my]0-i waist and brings [me]0-i in close to [his]87-jp chest . [He]87-jp tilts [my]0-i chin up and presses [his]87-jp mouth to [mine]0-i . Warm . Addictive . An electrifying kiss that rocks [you]2322-you to [your]2322-you very core . [His]87-jp affection rips through [me]0-i like a gentle , but comforting , hug and it causes [my]0-i emotions to ramp up once again . When [he]87-jp releases [me]0-i , [I]0-i hold it together as [I]0-i back away . But once [I]0-i ’m inside [the house]413-the house , door shut behind [me]0-i , [I]0-i feel the tears stream down [my]0-i face . What on earth is going on with [me]0-i ? Why am [I]0-i so emotional ? Because [you]2322-you ’re embarrassed . Because [you]2322-you finally have something that [you]2322-you ’ve always wanted , and last night made [you]2322-you unsure of everything [you]2322-you knew . Insecurities creep in and take hold of [my]0-i heart . [He]87-jp did n’t want [you]2322-you . [He]87-jp did n’t want [your]2322-you body . [He]87-jp did n’t hold [you]2322-you . [He]87-jp wanted nothing to do with [you]2322-you . And even though [he]87-jp kissed [me]0-i this morning , something feels off . Something does n’t feel right . The idea of losing [him]87-jp is making [me]0-i so emotional . Because for the first time in [my]0-i life , [I]0-i can honestly say [I]0-i ’m in love . [I]0-i ’m so hopelessly , and desperately , in love with [a man]2703-a man , and [I]0-i ’m afraid that [he]2703-a man very well might not love [me]0-i back . But now is not the time for that , for those worries . [Lottie]89-kelsey is getting married , which means [I]0-i need to be there for [her]89-kelsey . This is [her]89-kelsey day . [I]0-i need to push aside [my]0-i feelings , slap on a happy face , and focus on [her]89-kelsey . And who knows — maybe [she]89-kelsey does need help with a zit . [I]0-i wipe at [my]0-i cheeks , take a few deep breaths , and then walk up the stairs to [[her]89-kelsey bedroom]1425-her bedroom . It ’s time to get [the bride]2326-the bride ready for the day .

* * *

“ Do [you]0-i think [people]2736-people will be able to see it ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks , looking into the mirror . “ With [our]2327-our concealer , [no one]2811-no one will be the wiser , ”[89-kelsey] [Meredith]255-meredith , [[our]2327-our makeup artist]2328-our makeup artist , says , reassuring [Lottie]89-kelsey . It was n’t a zit that [she]89-kelsey needed to worry about , but rather a hickey . Apparently , [Huxley]90-huxley wanted to claim what was [his]2329-his one more time without a ring . And [he]2329-his did in spectacular fashion , right on the middle of [her]89-kelsey neck . Unfortunately for [me]0-i and [my]0-i fragile state of affairs , seeing [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister with a hickey and about to get married only made [me]0-i consider [my]0-i current situation , which of course led to [me]0-i having a mental breakdown in [[[my]0-i sister]414-my sister ’s bathroom]2332-my sister ’s bathroom . When [I]0-i came out with puffy eyes and [Lottie]89-kelsey asked [me]0-i what was the matter , [I]0-i told [her]89-kelsey [I]0-i ’d gotten a charley horse while on the toilet and that it nearly made [me]0-i fall to the ground in writhing pain . [She]89-kelsey told [me]0-i [Huxley]90-huxley got a charley horse the other night while pumping into [her]89-kelsey and that it was so bad , it made [his]2333-his penis shrivel right up . [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i ’ll be able to look at [Huxley]90-huxley the same after hearing that . But [I]0-i ’ve been able to hold it together ever since , enough to feed [myself]0-i , wash [my]0-i body , and even engage in conversation about how excited [I]0-i am for [Lottie]89-kelsey to be getting married . It ’s been great . “ So , [you]0-i never told [me]89-kelsey how last night went . Did [you]0-i cash in on [your]0-i text ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . Well . . . it was great . “ Uh , not really , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , knowing [I]0-i ca n’t lie to [[my]0-i sister]414-my sister , that [she]414-my sister ’ll see right through [me]0-i . “ Too drunk . ”[414-my sister] Keep it at that , simple . [You]0-i were n’t that drunk . Did [you]0-i chicken out on [me]414-my sister ? [You]0-i did n’t have to do the twirl . Was it the twirl that got [you]0-i ? ”[414-my sister] There was no way in hell [I]0-i was even mentioning the twirl last night . “ No , it just . . . it was n’t happening , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , crossing [my]0-i legs . [She]89-kelsey frowns . “ What do [you]0-i mean it was n’t happening ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i mean . . . [he]2335-he was n’t . . . in the mood , ”[0-i] [I]0-i draw out , hoping [Meredith]255-meredith signed that NDA [Huxley]90-huxley makes everyone who walks into [[his]2335-he house]911-his house sign . [He]2335-he was n’t in the mood ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks as [Meredith]255-meredith blots concealer on the hickey . “ What do [you]0-i mean ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey mean , [he]2335-he was n’t in the mood . Can [we]4441-we drop it ? Because [I]89-kelsey feel emotional about it and [I]89-kelsey do n’t want to be emotional on [your]0-i wedding day . It ’s supposed to be happy and fun , not depressing . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , but [I]89-kelsey do n’t want [you]0-i to have to force a smile . [We]4441-we need to talk this out . ”[89-kelsey] “ Hello ? ”[167-ellie] [Ellie]167-ellie calls from the entryway . Just great . . . “ Where are [[you]4441-we guys]2996-you guys ? ”[167-ellie] [Upstairs bedroom]4443-upstairs bedroom , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey calls out . “ Can [we]4441-we not talk about this with [her]167-ellie ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [I]0-i ’m really . . . [I]0-i ’m embarrassed . Last night was such a disaster , and the more [I]0-i think about it , the more [I]0-i just want to curl up and cry . Trust [me]0-i , [I]0-i ’m highly emotional , and [you]89-kelsey do n’t want that while [we]4441-we ’re getting ready . ”[0-i] [My]0-i eyes well up . [Lottie]89-kelsey reaches [her]89-kelsey hand out to [me]0-i , and [I]0-i take it . “ But [you]0-i ’re hurting , and [I]89-kelsey ca n’t have [you]0-i hurting right now . How could [you]0-i have any fun today if [you]0-i bottle it all up ? ”[89-kelsey] [Ellie]167-ellie comes through the door at that moment , a box of baked goods in one hand and [her]167-ellie dress bag in the other . “ Sorry [I]167-ellie ’m late , [the baby]4444-the baby was being fussy , and [I]167-ellie hate to be [that person]2709-that person , but [I]167-ellie really wanted to make sure everything was okay before [I]167-ellie left . ”[167-ellie] [She]167-ellie studies [me]0-i , then [Lottie]89-kelsey , then [me]0-i again , and [she]167-ellie winces . “ Oh , [he]4444-the baby told [you]0-i . How are [you]0-i doing ? ”[167-ellie] Told [me]0-i . . . Told [me]0-i what ? [I]0-i sit taller and so does [Lottie]89-kelsey , [her]167-ellie protective - big - sister instincts kicking in . “ Told [her]167-ellie what ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . [Ellie]167-ellie ’s face drains of all color as [she]167-ellie once again looks between [us]2337-us . “ Uh . . . what was that ? ”[167-ellie] [She]167-ellie blinks a few times . [Lottie]89-kelsey turns to [Meredith]255-meredith and asks , [I]89-kelsey ’m so sorry , but could [you]255-meredith give [us]2337-us a moment ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Not a problem , gives [me]255-meredith a chance to check in with [the kids]1431-the kids . ”[255-meredith] [Meredith]255-meredith takes off , shutting the door behind [her]255-meredith , and [Lottie]89-kelsey spins in [her]89-kelsey seat and asks , “ What are [you]167-ellie talking about , [Ellie]167-ellie ? ”[89-kelsey] Now [Ellie]167-ellie ’s wringing [her]167-ellie hands together , chewing on the side of [her]167-ellie lip , looking like [she]167-ellie might possibly flee or throw up . [You]167-ellie know , it ’s not a big deal . [I]167-ellie just — [you]167-ellie looked upset , so [I]167-ellie assumed something [I]167-ellie should n’t have assumed . Why do n’t [we]2337-us just ignore what [I]167-ellie said and have some cronuts ? [I]167-ellie got the raspberry - filled ones . ”[167-ellie] Speaking as evenly as [I]0-i can , [I]0-i say , [Ellie]167-ellie , [I]0-i ’m [a borderline emotional nutcase]4447-a borderline emotional nutcase right now . [I]0-i need to know what [you]167-ellie ’re talking about or [I]0-i might combust . Please , just tell [me]0-i . ”[0-i] [She]167-ellie sighs and mutters , [Me]167-ellie and [my]167-ellie big mouth . ”[167-ellie] [She]167-ellie grabs [her]167-ellie phone and starts scrolling through it while [she]167-ellie says , “ The only reason [I]167-ellie know is because [Dave]168-dave told [me]167-ellie about it and [I]167-ellie was preparing [myself]167-ellie for what might happen this morning . But apparently , and [I]167-ellie do n’t know when , [JP]87-jp sent out an email to [a bunch of women]4360-a bunch of women asking [them]4360-a bunch of women to be [his]87-jp date for the wedding . ”[167-ellie] “ What ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . [Ellie]167-ellie hands [me]0-i [her]167-ellie phone . A screenshot from an email [JP]87-jp sent comes into view . “ What does it say ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ ‘ [Hey ladieeees]240-hey ladieeees . Sending a big old cock of an email because , [you]0-i know . . . [I]89-kelsey have a big cock ’ . . . ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i trail off , unable to read it anymore , so [Lottie]89-kelsey takes the phone and finishes for [me]0-i . “ ‘ So this email has to match . Here ’s the thing . [Hux]141-hux is getting married to [Lulu Lemon]241-lulu lemon . ’ ”[167-ellie] [She]167-ellie looks up . “ Hey , why is [he]87-jp calling [me]167-ellie [Lulu Lemon]241-lulu lemon ? ”[167-ellie] “ That ’s what [you]89-kelsey ’re worried about ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask as a tear escapes down [my]0-i cheek . [Ellie]167-ellie is quick to hand [me]0-i a tissue . [You]0-i ’re right . Email is more important . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey clears [her]89-kelsey throat . “ ‘ And [they]4449-they told [me]89-kelsey [I]89-kelsey need a plus - one . Looking for [a willing candidate to escort [me]89-kelsey down the aisle]1840-a willing candidate to escort me down the aisle . All expenses paid . Promises of pleasure . If interested , hit [me]89-kelsey up . [I]89-kelsey wear condoms still . [K. Bye]295-k. bye . [JP]87-jp . ’ [That motherfucker]1831-that motherfucker ! ”[89-kelsey] “ Wait , [he]87-jp said [he]87-jp still wears condoms ? Why would [he]87-jp say that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Because [he]87-jp ’s looking for sex , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says , handing the phone back to [Ellie]167-ellie . “ When is this email from ? ”[167-ellie] [Ellie]167-ellie shrugs . [I]167-ellie do n’t know . [I]167-ellie just heard it from [Dave]168-dave last night , and then [the baby]4444-the baby needed [me]167-ellie . ”[167-ellie] “ Does it say on the screenshot ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , [my]0-i throat so tight , the words strain to fall off [my]0-i tongue . [Ellie]167-ellie looks at the phone and then shakes [her]167-ellie head . “ That was all blacked out . ”[167-ellie] [I]0-i worry [my]0-i lips as [I]0-i draw [my]0-i knees up close to [my]0-i chest . “ Hello ? Where are [[my]101-mom babies]4453-my babies ? ”[101-mom] [Mom]101-mom calls from [downstairs]483-downstairs . [I]0-i give a panicked look to [Lottie]89-kelsey , who then glances at [Ellie]167-ellie . “ Want [me]167-ellie to distract [her]167-ellie ? ”[167-ellie] [Ellie]167-ellie asks . [We]2339-we both nod and , thankfully , [she]167-ellie takes off and shuts the door behind [her]167-ellie . When it clicks shut , [I]0-i bury [my]0-i head in [my]0-i hands . [Lottie]89-kelsey sits next to [me]0-i . [I]89-kelsey ’m so sorry . ”[89-kelsey] “ Why are [you]0-i sorry ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey asks . “ Because this is [your]0-i day and [I]89-kelsey ’m ruining it . ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [JP]87-jp is ruining it . Now tell [me]0-i exactly what happened last night . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swipe at [my]0-i eyes and say , “ When [we]2339-we got back to [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place , [I]0-i was all about having sex and doing all the dirty things . [He]87-jp was really reserved and almost standoffish . [I]0-i said [I]0-i was going to bed naked and [he]87-jp suggested [I]0-i wear clothes . It was — it was weird . ”[0-i] “ That is weird . ”[89-kelsey] “ And then , when [I]89-kelsey threw [myself]89-kelsey at [him]87-jp again , [he]87-jp said not tonight , and . . . ugh , it was humiliating . [I]89-kelsey ended up going to bed , and when [I]89-kelsey thought [he]87-jp ’d cuddle up against [me]89-kelsey , [he]87-jp did n’t . [I]89-kelsey woke up this morning to an empty bed . [I]89-kelsey was humiliated and . . . and [I]89-kelsey do n’t think [he]87-jp thinks [I]89-kelsey ’m attractive or that [he]87-jp wants [me]89-kelsey anymore . Right when [I]89-kelsey was about to come over here , [he]87-jp showed up and walked [me]89-kelsey over . [He]87-jp was more loving , still a little stiff . [He]87-jp said [he]87-jp was already out this morning , so [he]87-jp picked [me]89-kelsey up coffee , but where was [he]87-jp ? Was [he]87-jp doing something with [Huxley]90-huxley ? ”[89-kelsey] [Huxley]90-huxley was with [me]89-kelsey all morning . ”[89-kelsey] Tears cascade down [my]0-i cheeks . “ God , then [I]89-kelsey have no idea . But [he]87-jp did give [me]89-kelsey this really good kiss before [I]89-kelsey walked up [here]2716-here , but [he]87-jp has n’t texted since and . . . [I]89-kelsey do n’t know . [I]89-kelsey ’ve never felt more desired than [I]89-kelsey am when [I]89-kelsey ’m with [him]87-jp , but last night . . . last night , [I]89-kelsey felt foolish , and now this email . ”[89-kelsey] Panic tightens [my]0-i throat . “ What if [he]87-jp sent that while [we]4456-we were together ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey takes a deep breath and says , “ Let ’s be rational about this , okay ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i nod , even though the worst - case scenario keeps flashing through [my]0-i head . “ Last night , when [we]4456-we were drinking , [the boys]598-the boys were in [the house]413-the house talking . ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes , ‘ man things , ’ [they]598-the boys said . ”[89-kelsey] “ Which is code for either penis problems , or something to make [us]4456-we think it ’s penis problems so [we]4456-we do n’t go sniffing around for information . ”[89-kelsey] “ Do [you]89-kelsey think [JP]87-jp was having penis problems last night ? Is that why [he]87-jp would n’t have sex with [me]89-kelsey ? [I]89-kelsey mean , [I]89-kelsey was naked in front of [him]87-jp and [he]87-jp was n’t even hard . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ No , [I]89-kelsey do n’t think [he]87-jp was having penis problems , because even [Huxley]90-huxley was irritated last night and [I]89-kelsey doubt [[his]87-jp brother]1875-his brother ’s penis problem would make [him]87-jp irritated . This was the kind of irritation that [I]89-kelsey always associate with work . ”[89-kelsey] “ So , [they]4460-they had a work problem last night ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [I]89-kelsey bet [you]89-kelsey [they]4460-they were dealing with this email . If [Dave Toney]168-dave knew about it last night , [he]168-dave would ’ve told [the boys]598-the boys . [My]89-kelsey guess is , [someone]364-someone got [their]364-someone hands on the email that should n’t have and [the boys]598-the boys were trying to take care of it . ”[89-kelsey] “ But when was it sent ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Probably before [[you]598-the boys guys]2996-you guys were together . There ’s no way [he]87-jp sent it after . [He]87-jp really likes [you]89-kelsey , [Kelse]96-kelse . ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey like to think that [he]87-jp does , but . . . there ’s this feeling [I]89-kelsey have , this feeling [I]89-kelsey think [I]89-kelsey ’ve always had when getting involved with [him]87-jp . [I]89-kelsey ’m not good enough , not up to [his]87-jp level . [I]89-kelsey ’m not going to fulfill what [he]87-jp needs in life . [We]2996-you guys ’re so different . ”[89-kelsey] “ But [you]89-kelsey are exactly what [each other]333-each other needs , too . ”[2340-i] [She]2340-i grips [my]0-i cheeks , forcing [me]0-i to look at [her]2340-i . [Your]89-kelsey insecurities are misshaping [your]89-kelsey view of [JP]87-jp . [He]87-jp ’s [a good guy]1373-a good guy . And the more [I]2340-i think about it , the more [I]2340-i ’m convinced this is [the boys]598-the boys trying to shield [us]2996-you guys from the truth . ”[2340-i] “ The truth being . . . [JP]87-jp did n’t want to take [me]89-kelsey to the wedding . ”[89-kelsey] “ Stop it . [You]89-kelsey do n’t know that . ”[89-kelsey] “ Then why did n’t [he]87-jp want [me]0-i last night ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i cry . “ And where was [he]87-jp this morning ? Do [you]89-kelsey think [he]87-jp was with [someone else]2834-someone else ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ No . [He]87-jp ’d never do that . [You]89-kelsey should know [him]87-jp well enough at this point to know [he]87-jp would n’t do that , either . ”[89-kelsey] “ But . . . [he]87-jp did n’t get hard . [He]87-jp did n’t hold [me]89-kelsey . [He]87-jp ’s been so possessive of [me]89-kelsey ever since [we]4469-we got together , and then , all of a sudden , that just ends ? Something is off . ”[89-kelsey] “ Maybe [he]87-jp was worried [you]89-kelsey ’d find out . ”[89-kelsey] “ Because [he]87-jp ’s hiding something ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Or maybe because [he]87-jp ’s afraid of losing [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [I]0-i lean back on the settee and shield [my]0-i eyes . “ Just text [him]87-jp . ”[0-i] “ Text [him]87-jp what ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Text [him]87-jp anything , see what [he]87-jp says . Here , give [me]0-i [your]89-kelsey phone . ”[0-i] [I]0-i hand it over to [her]2341-she and [she]2341-she types away . “ What are [you]89-kelsey doing ? ”[2341-she] “ Showing [you]89-kelsey that everything is okay . [I]2341-she really think this is all a misunderstanding . [JP]87-jp is crazy about [you]0-i . ”[2341-she] [She]2341-she types away and hits send before flashing [me]0-i the screen . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Hey , how ’s it going over there ? [[You]2342-you guys]2996-you guys having fun ? “ See ? Casual , easy . [We]2996-you guys ’ll see what [he]2344-he says . ”[89-kelsey] “ That ’s if [he]2344-he texts back . ”[0-i] [My]0-i phone beeps and [Lottie]89-kelsey gives [me]0-i a know - it - all look before [she]89-kelsey leans in and [we]2996-you guys read [his]2344-he response together . [JP]87-jp : Good , just got done with breakfast . [We]2996-you guys ’re off to basketball with full stomachs . If [I]0-i suck , [I]0-i ’m blaming it on the bacon . How are [you]0-i , [baby]2899-baby ? Did [I]0-i tell [you]0-i how gorgeous [you]0-i are today ? If not , [you]0-i are . So fucking gorgeous . “ See ? ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says , tossing [her]89-kelsey hand in the air . [I]89-kelsey told [you]0-i . Having been around [Huxley]90-huxley during work crises , [I]89-kelsey ’d say this is exactly what happened — [someone]364-someone brought up this email that [JP]87-jp sent who knows how long ago , [they]364-someone did damage control , and [JP]87-jp was worried about it last night . Look at that text . [You]0-i ’re telling [me]89-kelsey [he]87-jp does n’t like [you]0-i ? [You]0-i ’re telling [me]89-kelsey [he]87-jp ’d rather be with [someone else]2834-someone else ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]0-i stare down at the text , reading it over a few times . [A part of [me]0-i]2346-a part of me believes [her]89-kelsey . It all makes sense when [you]2347-you line it up like that , but . . . what about this morning ? What about [his]2348-he rejection last night , not holding [me]0-i ? Even if [he]2348-he was worried , [he]2348-he ’d at least hold [me]0-i , right ? But [I]0-i need to store that away for now . [I]0-i ca n’t worry about it . [I]0-i ’ve already ruined this morning , and [I]0-i refuse to ruin the rest of the day . Pulling out the best smile that [I]0-i can , [I]0-i say , “ Yeah , [I]0-i think [you]89-kelsey ’re right . ”[0-i] [I]89-kelsey know [I]89-kelsey am . ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey gives [me]0-i a hug . “ Do [you]0-i feel better ? ”[89-kelsey] “ Yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i smile even bigger , but [I]0-i do n’t feel it inside of [me]0-i . [I]0-i do n’t feel the joy . [I]0-i just feel . . . sad . “ Want [me]0-i to grab [the girls]3173-the girls ? ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ No , [I]89-kelsey want to grab some more drinks . [I]89-kelsey ’ll be right back . Need anything ? ”[89-kelsey] [I]89-kelsey ’m good . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey pats [my]0-i shoulder . “ Text [[your]0-i boy]4024-your boy back , see just how much [he]2349-him likes [you]0-i . ”[89-kelsey] When [she]89-kelsey leaves , [I]0-i stare at [my]0-i phone . [I]0-i ’m tempted to not say anything , to just ignore [his]2349-him response , but [I]0-i do n’t want to be [that girl]2350-that girl . [I]0-i do n’t want to ignore [him]2349-him . [I]0-i do n’t feel great inside , but [I]0-i do know [I]0-i should continue talking to [him]2349-him . So , [I]0-i do . Even though [I]0-i ’m hurting , [I]0-i know that it ’s not right to push [him]2349-him away . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Thank [you]2351-you . [I]0-i ’m doing okay . Slightly dehydrated . [The makeup artist]2352-the makeup artist is currently attempting to cover up a deep purple hickey on [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s neck . [We]2353-we ’re hoping the magic of makeup wins today . [I]0-i hear laughter [downstairs]483-downstairs . Forget [your]2355-your troubles . Forget [your]2355-your feelings . This day is for [Lottie]89-kelsey , and [I]0-i need to make the best of it . [My]0-i phone beeps . [JP]87-jp : [Hux]141-hux told [us]2353-we . [Lottie]89-kelsey did n’t seem fazed . How ’s that zit . . . [I]0-i bite [my]0-i bottom lip . [God]92-god , does [he]87-jp know [I]0-i was lying ? Hopefully [he]87-jp does n’t . Would [Hux]141-hux tell [them]2353-we about a zit ? Who knows ? [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Mellowed . Should n’t be a problem . [JP]87-jp : Looks like [you]0-i ’re [a zit whisperer]2356-a zit whisperer , after all . Good job , [babe]2728-babe . Oh , hey , [the boys]598-the boys are yelling at [me]0-i to get off [my]0-i phone . [I]0-i ’ll check back in . Thinking of [you]0-i , [babe]2728-babe . Ca n’t wait to see [you]0-i in [your]0-i dress . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Have fun . [I]0-i set down [my]0-i phone , take a deep breath , and as [I]0-i release the air , the door to [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom opens . It ’s time to put on [my]0-i happy face .

* * *

[I]89-kelsey do , ”[89-kelsey] [Lottie]89-kelsey says , [her]89-kelsey voice tight with emotion . [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i ’ve ever seen [a man prouder than [Huxley]90-huxley at this moment]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment . [His]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment chest fills with air , [his]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment eyes sparkle with tears , and [you]2362-you can see the relief in [his]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment shoulders , knowing [the woman standing in front of [him]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment]2363-the woman standing in front of him will now carry [his]2361-a man prouder than huxley at this moment last name . Absolutely beautiful . The entire ceremony has been beautiful . [They]2364-they timed it to begin right before sunset , so as [they]2364-they proceeded , the sun set against [the water behind [them]2364-they]2365-the water behind them . [The location]2366-the location has [[its]2366-the location own beach]2367-its own beach , so there is n’t [a tourist]2368-a tourist or local around . The sky is beautifully dotted with puffy clouds that reflect the sun in shades of pink and purple , creating the most stunning glow . [Lottie]89-kelsey , in a simple mermaid - style dress , steals the show , but [the men in [their]2369-the men in their deep blue suits deep blue suits]2369-the men in their deep blue suits are [showstoppers]2370-showstoppers , too . [I]0-i ’ve attempted to avoid [JP]87-jp ’s eye contact as much as [I]0-i can , but it feels impossible . [My]0-i eyes are like a magnet to [his]87-jp . When [I]0-i started walking down [the aisle]2371-the aisle , [I]0-i looked [his]87-jp way and caught [him]87-jp catch [his]87-jp breath right before [he]87-jp wet [his]87-jp lips . When the ceremony began , [I]0-i glanced in [his]87-jp direction and saw [him]87-jp smiling at [me]0-i , [his]87-jp expression so intense that [I]0-i wanted to walk over to [him]87-jp and bury [my]0-i head in [his]87-jp chest . And now , as [the minister]2372-the minister announces to [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey that [they]2373-they ’re [man]3096-man and [wife]2375-wife , [I]0-i watch [JP]87-jp rock on [his]87-jp heels and stare [me]0-i down , open promises in [his]87-jp eyes . [I]87-jp ’d like to introduce to [you]2373-they for the first time , [Mr.]4474-mr. and [Mrs. Huxley Cane]90-huxley . ”[87-jp] Like [a robot]2376-a robot , [I]0-i cheer and hand [Lottie]89-kelsey [her]89-kelsey bouquet before [she]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley walk back up [the aisle]2371-the aisle . And because [Lottie]89-kelsey wanted [me]0-i to walk with [JP]87-jp , [he]87-jp ’s next in line . [He]87-jp meets [me]0-i at the altar , arm extended . Here [we]2378-we go . [I]0-i step up next to [him]87-jp , loop [my]0-i arm through [his]87-jp , and expect to walk up [the aisle]2371-the aisle , but then [he]87-jp leans in close to [my]0-i ear , sending chills up [my]0-i spine , and whispers , [You]0-i look so goddamn beautiful , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [You]0-i take [my]87-jp breath away . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i battered heart beats wildly as [my]0-i knees go a little weak . [I]0-i love [this man]2781-this man . [I]0-i love [him]2781-this man so much , and hearing [his]2781-this man voice , feeling [his]2781-this man strong body connected to [mine]0-i , it almost seems like too much . “ Thank [you]87-jp , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper back as [we]2381-we make [our]2381-we way to [the reception room]2382-the reception room , where [Huxley]90-huxley is kissing [Lottie]89-kelsey , [his]2781-this man hand possessively on [her]89-kelsey lower back , holding [her]89-kelsey tightly . [JP]87-jp turns toward [me]0-i and lifts [my]0-i chin . Before [I]0-i can say anything , [his]2781-this man lips are on [mine]0-i and [his]2781-this man hand gently runs through the curls of [my]0-i hair . “ Fuck , ”[2781-this man] [he]2781-this man whispers when [he]2781-this man pulls away . [I]2781-this man missed [you]0-i today . ”[2781-this man] [He]2781-this man kisses [my]0-i nose , [my]0-i forehead , and then [my]0-i lips one more time just as [Breaker]97-breaker steps up next to [us]2383-we with [Ellie]167-ellie . “ Hell , [everyone]2734-everyone is kissing . Should [we]2383-we ? ”[167-ellie] [Ellie]167-ellie chuckles and says , “ Only if [you]97-breaker want [Dave]168-dave to cut off [your]97-breaker balls and serve them as a delicacy for dessert . ”[167-ellie] [Breaker]97-breaker taps [his]97-breaker chin . “ Hmm , decisions , decisions . ”[97-breaker] [The wedding planner]2384-the wedding planner comes up to [us]2383-we and says , [The guests]4476-the guests are coming , but remember , no conversations , just a quick wave , because [we]2383-we need [the bride]2326-the bride and [groom]4478-groom out by the sunset to take final pictures . ”[2384-the wedding planner] [The crowd]715-the crowd walks in , [everyone]2734-everyone happy , chatting , and heading straight toward the open bar . [You]0-i okay ? ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp asks , tugging on [my]0-i hand . [I]0-i smile up at [him]87-jp . “ Yeah , just happy for [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey . ”[87-jp] Not sure [he]87-jp buys it , because [he]87-jp continues to study [me]0-i , but thankfully , [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley head back outside and [we]2383-we follow behind . There are only [a few stragglers left on [the rooftop]1992-the rooftop]2387-a few stragglers left on the rooftop taking some pictures . “ Just [the bride]2326-the bride and [the groom]4480-the groom right now , if [everyone else]2952-everyone else would step to the side , ”[2389-the planner] [the planner]2389-the planner says . “ And [guests]742-guests should head into [the reception space]4483-the reception space . ”[2389-the planner] [Two girls taking pictures of [themselves]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset in front of the sunset]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset offer [their]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset apologies , and as [they]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset work [their]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset way up [the aisle]2371-the aisle , [one of [them]2390-two girls taking pictures of themselves in front of the sunset]2392-one of them , [the one in a skintight lavender dress]2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress , makes eye contact with [JP]87-jp and smiles broadly . [JP]87-jp shifts next to [me]0-i as [she]2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress presses [her]2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress hand to [his]87-jp chest and in passing , says , “ Compared to this morning , [you]87-jp look amazing . Congrats on [the new sister - in - law]4484-the new sister - in - law . ”[2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress] [She]2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress offers [him]87-jp a wink and then heads into [the reception area]2394-the reception area . The world around [me]0-i fades to nothing . Compared to this morning ? [He]87-jp was with [her]2393-the one in a skintight lavender dress this morning ? [My]0-i lip trembles . [My]0-i heart thunders in [my]0-i chest . And [I]0-i feel like [I]0-i ’m going to puke . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , ”[87-jp] [JP]87-jp whispers , “ it ’s not what [you]89-kelsey think . ”[87-jp] Not here . Not now . Pictures have to be taken . [I]0-i ’ll deal with this later . Push it to the side . Blacken [your]2395-your soul . Do n’t show [your]2395-your emotion . [You]2395-your can do this , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [You]2395-your have to do this .

Chapter Twenty - Three

[JP

Fuck]296-jp . That has been the word of choice for the past twenty - four hours . [I]0-i ’ve just been living in a constant state of fuck . If it ’s not one thing , it ’s another . Things are strained . [Kelsey]89-kelsey might be putting on a happy face , but [I]0-i now know when [she]89-kelsey ’s not [her]89-kelsey normal self . And right now , [her]89-kelsey smile is n’t even close to reaching [her]89-kelsey eyes . [Her]89-kelsey text messages dwindled as the day went on and when [I]0-i expected [her]89-kelsey to smile at [me]0-i while walking down [the aisle]2371-the aisle , [she]89-kelsey tore [her]89-kelsey eyes away , over and over again . And [I]0-i do n’t blame [her]89-kelsey . Through [Huxley]90-huxley , [I]0-i found out that [the girls]3173-the girls know about the email . When [I]0-i started to call [Kelsey]89-kelsey to explain , [Huxley]90-huxley told [me]0-i that [Lottie]89-kelsey had backed [me]0-i up . [She]89-kelsey ’d assured [him]2398-him that everything was okay and that [Kelsey]89-kelsey did n’t want to talk about it . So , [I]0-i held back even though [I]0-i did n’t want to . But now [we]2399-we ’re here , together , and [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey ’s putting on a show . [I]0-i can fucking feel it . [I]0-i feel [her]89-kelsey slipping away , and if it were under any other circumstances , [I]0-i ’d pull [her]89-kelsey to the side to explain everything to [her]89-kelsey , but unfortunately , now is not the time . And just to make things worse , fucking [Jill]297-jill had to go and say , “ Compared to this morning , [you]89-kelsey look amazing . ”[297-jill] Considering [I]0-i was n’t at [[my]0-i house]2843-my house when [Kelsey]89-kelsey woke up this morning , this looks bad . Really bad . It looks like [I]0-i fucking slept with [the girl]2846-the girl , after [I]0-i would n’t sleep with [[my]0-i own girlfriend]2402-my own girlfriend the night before . And from the stiff set in [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s shoulders , [I]0-i ’m thinking that ’s exactly what ’s going through [her]89-kelsey mind . [I]0-i know [her]89-kelsey from [[[our]2403-our lawyer]2404-our lawyer ’s office]2405-our lawyer ’s office . [She]89-kelsey ’s [[Taylor]157-taylor ’s secretary]2406-taylor ’s secretary , so [she]89-kelsey was privy to the whole extortion fiasco . [I]0-i saw [Jill]297-jill at [the coffee shop]1069-the coffee shop this morning . And [she]297-jill was right , [I]0-i ’m looking better than this morning because [I]0-i thought the nightmare was over . Now . . . not so much . Gripping [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s arm , [I]0-i lean close to [her]89-kelsey ear and ask , “ Can [I]0-i speak with [you]89-kelsey ? ”[0-i] “ Not now , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says through clenched teeth . [I]89-kelsey need to explain . ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey eyes flash to [mine]0-i . “ Not . Now . ”[89-kelsey] And then [she]89-kelsey pulls away as [the wedding planner]2384-the wedding planner calls [her]89-kelsey to take a picture with [Lottie]89-kelsey , [Huxley]90-huxley , [[her]89-kelsey mom]2409-her mom , and [Jeff]124-jeff . [My]0-i gut churns as [I]0-i watch [her]89-kelsey put on a happy face and smile with [[her]89-kelsey family]2410-her family . [I]0-i see the tight grip [she]89-kelsey has on [her]89-kelsey bouquet , as if it ’s the only part of [her]89-kelsey that can show any sort of emotion , and when [they]2411-they ’re done with the picture , [she]89-kelsey does n’t come stand next to [me]0-i . [She]89-kelsey stays near [Lottie]89-kelsey , helping with [her]89-kelsey dress and assisting [the photographer]2412-the photographer and [wedding planner]2413-wedding planner . [Some]2414-some might think [she]89-kelsey ’s being [the dutiful maid of honor]2415-the dutiful maid of honor , but [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey ’s avoiding [me]0-i . After an hour of torturous pictures , [we]2416-we ’re lined up at the entrance to [the adjoining rooftop]2417-the adjoining rooftop where [everyone]2734-everyone is waiting , and [we]2416-we wait to be announced . [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s shoulder bumps into [mine]0-i as [we]2416-we wait and [I]0-i attempt to take [her]89-kelsey hand in mine , but [she]89-kelsey does n’t allow it . It ’s not until [we]2416-we ’re walking out onto [the rooftop]1992-the rooftop that [she]89-kelsey briefly holds [my]0-i hand up to the sky before dropping it at [her]89-kelsey side . Then [she]89-kelsey goes straight to [our]2416-we assigned seats and sits . [I]0-i take [my]0-i seat next to [her]89-kelsey and drape [my]0-i arm over the back of [her]89-kelsey chair while [Lottie]89-kelsey and [Huxley]90-huxley dance to an acoustic version of [Fleetwood Mac]298-fleetwood mac ’s Dreams . [Baby]268-baby , [I]0-i need [you]268-baby to listen to [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say quietly so only [she]89-kelsey can hear [me]0-i . [Jill]297-jill is the name of [the girl who came up to [me]0-i]4485-the girl who came up to me , [she]4485-the girl who came up to me works for [Taylor]157-taylor . [She]4485-the girl who came up to me saw [me]0-i this morning at [the coffee shop]1069-the coffee shop . [She]4485-the girl who came up to me was grabbing bagels and coffee for [[her]4485-the girl who came up to me team]4487-her team . [I]0-i know it looks bad , but [I]0-i need [you]89-kelsey to know , what [you]89-kelsey ’re thinking about what [she]4485-the girl who came up to me said is n’t even close to the truth . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey keeps [her]89-kelsey eyes trained on [the happy couple]2420-the happy couple . [She]89-kelsey does n’t acknowledge [me]0-i , does n’t even flinch . [I]0-i know [she]89-kelsey heard [me]0-i because the smallest tear rolls down [her]89-kelsey cheek before [she]89-kelsey swipes it away . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , please tell [me]89-kelsey [you]89-kelsey believe [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey sniffs and brings [her]89-kelsey handkerchief to [her]89-kelsey eyes before saying , “ Yes . ”[89-kelsey] “ Do [you]89-kelsey really ? ”[89-kelsey] Still watching [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey replies , [I]89-kelsey have to , right ? ”[89-kelsey] “ No , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , concerned by the cold tone in [her]89-kelsey voice . [You]89-kelsey do n’t . [You]89-kelsey can talk about it , [you]89-kelsey can tell [me]0-i how [you]89-kelsey ’re feeling . ”[0-i] [The happy couple]2420-the happy couple would like to invite [everyone]2734-everyone to join [them]2420-the happy couple on [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor as [they]2420-the happy couple finish dancing to [their]2420-the happy couple first song , ”[2421-the dj] [the DJ]2421-the dj says . [Kelsey]89-kelsey stands and [I]0-i follow [her]89-kelsey closely , but when [she]89-kelsey does n’t stop at [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor and keeps moving through [the crowd]715-the crowd , [I]0-i catch up to [her]89-kelsey quickly . [She]89-kelsey weaves past a few tables , down [the stairs]471-the stairs , and into [the private rooms below]2425-the private rooms below , straight into [[the bride]2326-the bride ’s suite]2427-the bride ’s suite . [I]0-i shut the door behind [me]0-i , and when [I]0-i turn around , [I]0-i see [her]89-kelsey shaking [her]89-kelsey hands and pacing [the room]345-the room as [she]89-kelsey takes deep breaths . “ Do n’t break down . Do n’t break down , ”[89-kelsey] [she]89-kelsey says over and over again . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , talk to [me]89-kelsey , [baby]2899-baby . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey pauses , and with deflated shoulders , [she]89-kelsey says , [I]89-kelsey — ”[89-kelsey] [Her]89-kelsey voice catches . [I]89-kelsey do n’t . . . [I]89-kelsey do n’t know what ’s happening . ”[89-kelsey] When [she]89-kelsey looks up , tears fall down [her]89-kelsey cheeks , cascading in a steady flow . [I]89-kelsey was so happy last night . [I]89-kelsey was . . . [I]89-kelsey was going to tell [you]89-kelsey [I]89-kelsey love [you]89-kelsey , for fuck ’s sake . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey what ? [Fuck]296-jp . . . why did [she]89-kelsey say that in the past tense ? “ But then , it was as if [I]89-kelsey was too happy and something was bound to happen . That ’s what [I]89-kelsey kept saying . It was too good to be true , all of it . And [I]89-kelsey was right . ”[89-kelsey] “ No , [you]89-kelsey were n’t , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . “ It was n’t too good to be true . ”[0-i] [She]89-kelsey shakes [her]89-kelsey head . “ No , it was . Because here [I]89-kelsey thought that [we]4492-we — that [we]4492-we were in a good place , but [we]4492-we were n’t . Do [you]89-kelsey realize how much courage it took [me]89-kelsey to ask [you]89-kelsey to do those naughty things ? That ’s not [me]89-kelsey , [JP]296-jp . That ’s not the person [I]89-kelsey am , and then to be standing in front of [you]89-kelsey , completely naked , only for [you]89-kelsey to turn [me]89-kelsey down . . . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey chokes up . “ It broke a piece of [me]89-kelsey . ”[89-kelsey] [Baby]2899-baby , it ’s not that [I]0-i did n’t want [you]89-kelsey . [I]0-i always want [you]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] “ Not last night . And when [I]89-kelsey thought that maybe it was just because [I]89-kelsey was drunk , that maybe [I]89-kelsey turned [you]89-kelsey off , [you]89-kelsey did n’t even hold [me]89-kelsey to reassure [me]89-kelsey . [You]89-kelsey were cold . [Distant]299-distant . Do [you]89-kelsey know the kind of damage that does to [a woman]3073-a woman ? [You]89-kelsey ca n’t do that , [JP]296-jp . [You]89-kelsey ca n’t fucking do that . ”[89-kelsey] Fuck . [I]0-i step toward [her]2429-i , but [she]2429-i holds up [her]2429-i hand . “ Do n’t . Please do n’t touch [me]2429-i , because [I]2429-i know if [you]89-kelsey do , [I]2429-i wo n’t be able to say what [I]2429-i want to say . [I]2429-i ’ll just want to curl into [you]89-kelsey and wish that none of this happened . But it did happen . And then . . . then [I]2429-i hear about this email [you]89-kelsey sent to [a bunch of [women]2683-women]4360-a bunch of women . ”[2429-i] “ Before [we]4497-we were together , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say quickly . [I]0-i was hurting so fucking bad for [you]89-kelsey . [I]0-i wrote it that night [I]0-i got wasted . [I]0-i did n’t even know [I]0-i did it , which [I]0-i know sounds terrible , but it was after [you]89-kelsey went out with [Derek]166-derek and [I]0-i . . . [I]0-i did n’t know how to handle it . It meant nothing . ”[0-i] “ That ’s what [Lottie]89-kelsey believed to have happened and [I]2429-i believe [you]89-kelsey , [I]2429-i truly do , but it only added to the pain [I]2429-i was feeling , the sadness . It took everything in [me]2429-i to ignore the fact that [you]89-kelsey did n’t want [me]2429-i , that [you]89-kelsey did n’t wake up with [me]2429-i , that [you]89-kelsey were reaching out to [other women]4498-other women , but [that Jill girl]4499-that jill girl . . . ”[2429-i] [I]2429-i told [you]89-kelsey — ”[2429-i] “ Where were [you]89-kelsey this morning ? ”[2429-i] “ With Breaker , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [He]4500-he called [me]0-i at five . ”[0-i] [I]0-i tug on [my]0-i hair . “ Fuck , [I]0-i wanted to tell [you]89-kelsey this last night , but [you]89-kelsey were drunk and [I]0-i did n’t think it would go over well . An online gossip website had the email submitted to [them]4501-them , [they]4501-them were going to publish it , and the article was n’t fucking good . So , [we]4502-we spent last night and this morning making sure it went away . And [we]4502-we did , but [I]0-i had to rush over to [Breaker ’s]97-breaker this morning for some negotiations . After that , [I]0-i grabbed [your]89-kelsey favorite coffee , and that ’s when [I]0-i saw [Jill]297-jill . [I]0-i was hoping [you]89-kelsey ’d still be asleep by the time [I]0-i got [home]2941-home , but because [I]0-i ’ve had shit luck the past twenty - four hours , [you]89-kelsey were awake . [I]0-i swear , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , this has just been a complete shitshow that [I]0-i wanted to tell [you]89-kelsey about . [You]89-kelsey have to know [I]0-i would n’t cheat on [you]89-kelsey , that [I]0-i . . . fuck , that [I]0-i love — ”[0-i] “ Do n’t . ”[2430-i] [She]2430-i holds up [her]2430-i hand again . “ Please do n’t say that . Those words are n’t meant to save a relationship , they ’re meant to fortify it . Do n’t say it to make [me]2430-i feel better . ”[2430-i] “ But it ’s how [I]2430-i feel . [You]89-kelsey have to know that . ”[2430-i] [She]2430-i wipes at [her]2430-i eyes and turns away from [me]0-i . [Kelsey]89-kelsey , please . ”[2430-i] Blotting at [her]2430-i eyes , [she]2430-i says , [I]2430-i believe [you]0-i , [JP]296-jp . [I]2430-i really do . ”[2430-i] Why do [I]0-i feel like there ’s a “ but ”[2430-i] behind that statement ? When [she]2430-i lowers [her]2430-i handkerchief , [she]2430-i looks [me]0-i in the eyes and says , [I]2430-i just need a second . Okay ? [My]2430-i emotions are super heightened right now , and [I]2430-i do n’t want to say something [I]2430-i ’m going to regret . Can [we]4504-we just go back out there and celebrate [[our]4504-we siblings]4505-our siblings getting married ? ”[2430-i] “ If that ’s what [you]2430-i want , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [She]2430-i sucks in a sharp breath and says , “ That ’s what [I]2430-i want . ”[2430-i] “ Okay . ”[2430-i] [I]0-i walk up to [her]2430-i and take [her]2430-i hand , but [she]2430-i gently tugs it away . “ No , ”[2430-i] [she]2430-i says . “ Let ’s celebrate . . . separately . ”[2430-i] Panic clogs [my]0-i throat as [I]0-i choke out , “ Wh - what do [you]2430-i mean ? Are [you]2430-i breaking up with [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]2430-i do n’t know what [I]2430-i ’m doing , [JP]296-jp . [I]2430-i just need some space right now . ”[2430-i] “ Please do n’t do this , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] Everything [I]0-i ’ve wanted is crumbling in front of [me]0-i . “ Do n’t distance [yourself]296-jp from [me]2431-i . [I]2431-i need [you]296-jp , [baby]2899-baby . Do n’t [you]296-jp see that ? [I]2431-i ’d never do anything to hurt [you]296-jp . Last night was . . . fuck , [I]2431-i was trying to protect [you]296-jp . [I]2431-i was trying — ”[2431-i] [She]2431-i presses [her]2431-i hand to [my]0-i chest . “ Please , [JP]296-jp , just give [me]2431-i some time . There ’s a full - on insecurity battle raging in [my]2431-i head right now , and [I]2431-i need to tackle that first before [I]2431-i do anything else . ”[2431-i] [You]296-jp have nothing to be insecure about . ”[2430-i] “ That ’s where [you]296-jp ’re wrong . For as long as [I]2431-i can remember , [I]2431-i ’ve been looking for [the right person to complete [me]2431-i]4507-the right person to complete me . But [no one]2811-no one would look [my]2431-i way , and if [they]2811-no one did , it never lasted . [I]2431-i ’ve been unlucky at love , and that ’s damaging . It makes [me]2431-i think ‘ What ’s wrong with [me]2431-i ? Why does n’t [anyone]377-anyone want to be with [me]2431-i ? ’ [I]2431-i ’ve wondered that for so long . ”[2431-i] [Baby]268-baby , [I]2431-i ’m telling [you]268-baby , [I]2431-i see [you]268-baby . [I]2431-i want to be with [you]268-baby . ”[2431-i] “ Yes , but last night , [you]268-baby did n’t . That ’s where [I]2431-i ’m struggling , because in [my]2431-i mind , no matter what [you]268-baby ’re going through in life , [[your]268-baby partner]4510-your partner in life should be there , by [your]268-baby side , through thick and thin . [You]268-baby . . . [you]268-baby left [me]2431-i out in the cold last night , naked and shamed . [I]2431-i understand that was n’t [your]268-baby intention , but given [my]2431-i past insecurities , [I]2431-i ’m trying to mentally deal with the rejection . So , please , just give [me]2431-i that time . ”[2431-i] Fuck . [I]0-i want to tell [her]2432-her [I]0-i love [her]2432-her . That [I]0-i ’ve never been happier than when [she]2432-her ’s in [my]0-i arms . That [I]0-i do n’t want to go another day without making [her]2432-her mine . But from the distant look in [her]2432-her eyes , [I]0-i know [my]0-i words will mean nothing right now . Absolutely nothing . So , [I]0-i do the one thing [I]0-i do n’t want to fucking do , [I]0-i take a step back and pull on the back of [my]0-i neck as [I]0-i say , “ Okay , take [your]2432-her time . But just know , whenever [you]2432-her ’re ready , [I]0-i ’ll be here , waiting for [you]2432-her . [I]0-i ’m not going anywhere , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [You]2432-her can push [me]0-i away as much as [you]2432-her want , but [I]0-i ’ll keep coming back . ”[0-i] And with that , [she]2432-her slips out of [the room]345-the room and back to [the reception]2434-the reception . Needing a goddamn moment , [I]0-i take a seat on [one of the couches in [the room]345-the room]2435-one of the couches in the room and rest [my]0-i elbows on [my]0-i knees before driving [my]0-i hands through [my]0-i hair . Fuck . . .

* * *

“ How did it go ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker asks as [he]97-breaker joins [me]0-i at the bar . [I]0-i have a water in [my]0-i hand , not bothering with drowning [my]0-i sorrows , but staying close to the alcohol in case [I]0-i change [my]0-i mind . “ How did what go ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i snap at [him]97-breaker , keeping [my]0-i voice low . “ Oh , [you]97-breaker mean [my]0-i conversation with [Kelsey]89-kelsey ? Fucking great , ca n’t [you]97-breaker tell ? [We]4511-we ’re happily in love as [we]4511-we speak . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker ’m sensing a heavy dose of sarcasm . ”[97-breaker] “ No shit , how could [you]97-breaker even tell ? ”[97-breaker] “ Well , for one thing , [you]97-breaker ’re sporting one of the most intense scowls [I]0-i ’ve ever seen . [The wedding planner]2384-the wedding planner actually asked [me]0-i if [I]0-i had the magic to fix [your]97-breaker face . Secondly , [Kelsey]89-kelsey , from what [I]0-i ’ve seen , has avoided [you]97-breaker all night . Which , [you]97-breaker know , seems suspicious since [[you]97-breaker two]3018-you two were all over [one another]876-one another at the rehearsal party last night , before the whole email thing went down . So , from that evidence , [I]0-i ’m pretty sure it ’s safe to conclude that [you]97-breaker ’re being sarcastic . ”[0-i] [I]0-i bring [my]0-i glass to [my]0-i lips and stare at [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor , where [Kelsey]89-kelsey is dancing with [Lottie]89-kelsey and [[their]2438-their mom]2439-their mom to Fireball by [Pitbull]300-pitbull . [I]300-pitbull hate [you]300-pitbull , [you]300-pitbull know that ? ”[300-pitbull] “ Why do [you]300-pitbull hate [me]0-i ? [I]0-i ’m pretty sure [I]0-i helped save [your]300-pitbull ass this morning . ”[0-i] “ Yeah , what great that did . [She]89-kelsey still wo n’t fucking talk to [me]2440-me . ”[2440-me] “ Seems like a ‘ [you]300-pitbull ’ issue . ”[2440-me] Slowly , [I]0-i turn [my]0-i head to face [him]2440-me . [He]2440-me awkwardly smiles and shrugs . “ Not the right thing to say ? ”[2440-me] “ Not even a little . ”[2440-me] “ Maybe [I]2440-me should work on [[my]2440-me people]4515-my people skills . ”[2440-me] “ Maybe [you]2440-me should just leave [me]2440-me the fuck alone . ”[2440-me] “ Why is [the wedding planner]2384-the wedding planner sending [me]90-huxley over here to tell [you]2440-me to fix [your]2440-me face ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks in a whisper as [he]2440-me walks up to [us]2441-us . “ Jesus , tell [the wedding planner]2384-the wedding planner to fix [her]2384-the wedding planner own face and leave [me]2440-me the fuck alone . ”[2440-me] “ Need [I]90-huxley remind [you]2440-me it ’s [my]90-huxley wedding day ? ”[90-huxley] [Huxley]90-huxley asks in a tone so low , that [I]0-i barely hear [him]2440-me . “ Is it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask . “ Huh , is that why [we]2441-us ’re in these suits ? Well , fuck , got to tell [you]90-huxley , [man]3096-man , the shrimp was fucking terrible . Should ’ve taste - tested . ”[0-i] [I]0-i can feel the wrath of [Huxley]90-huxley ready to explode , but before it can , [Breaker]97-breaker pushes against [my]0-i chest , moving [me]0-i away , and calls over [his]97-breaker shoulder , [I]97-breaker ’ll take care of it . ”[97-breaker] “ Are n’t [you]97-breaker [a sweetheart]4519-a sweetheart , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [he]97-breaker ushers [me]0-i to a table at the far back . [We]2442-we both take a seat . “ What are [you]97-breaker going to say to [me]0-i ? Offer some lecture ? Guess what ? [I]0-i do n’t need to hear it from [[my]0-i little brother , who clearly has no idea what it ’s like to fall in love]4520-my little brother , who clearly has no idea what it ’s like to fall in love . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker ’m not going to lecture [you]97-breaker . [I]97-breaker just want to ask [you]97-breaker how [you]97-breaker are . ”[97-breaker] “ Not good , [man]3096-man , is n’t that obvious ? ”[97-breaker] “ It is . What can [I]0-i do to help ? Want [me]0-i to talk to [her]4522-her ? [I]0-i can tell [her]4522-her everything that happened , back [you]97-breaker up . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head as [I]0-i slouch in [my]0-i chair . “ No , [she]4522-her fucking believes it all . ”[0-i] “ Then what ’s the problem ? ”[2443-i] [he]2443-i asks . “ The problem is , in [my]2443-i sheer panic last night , [I]2443-i fucked up . [She]4522-her was vulnerable , and [I]2443-i was too caught up in [my]2443-i own head , worried [I]2443-i was going to lose [her]4522-her . [I]2443-i did n’t give [her]4522-her the comfort [she]4522-her needed . ”[2443-i] “ What are [you]2443-i talking about ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i smooth [my]0-i hands over [my]0-i pant legs and say , [Kelsey]89-kelsey has insecurities about being loveable . [I]0-i keep telling [her]89-kelsey it ’s because [she]89-kelsey has n’t found [the right guy]4133-the right guy , but [I]0-i do n’t think that translates in [her]89-kelsey head . [She]89-kelsey believes it has to do with [her]89-kelsey . Last night , [she]89-kelsey was looking for that reassurance , but like [a fucking moron]4524-a fucking moron , [I]0-i did n’t give [her]89-kelsey what [she]89-kelsey needed . [I]0-i did n’t see it then , but now that [I]0-i played it over in [my]0-i head , [I]0-i realize that [I]0-i ’m [the biggest fucking idiot]4525-the biggest fucking idiot . [I]0-i inadvertently played into those insecurities . And it makes [me]0-i fucking sick . ”[0-i] “ Shit . . . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker rests one of [his]97-breaker arms on the table as [he]97-breaker looks out at [the dance floor]3055-the dance floor with [me]0-i . “ What are [you]97-breaker going to do ? ”[97-breaker] [She]89-kelsey asked for time , so [I]97-breaker ’m going to give it to [her]89-kelsey . ”[97-breaker] “ Are [you]97-breaker broken up ? ”[97-breaker] “ Not sure . Feels like it , though , and [I]97-breaker only have [myself]97-breaker to blame . ”[97-breaker]

* * *

“ Do n’t text [her]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey wants some space . Texting [her]89-kelsey will only irritate [her]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say to [myself]0-i as [I]0-i pace the length of [my]0-i kitchen island the day after the wedding . “ Do not text [her]89-kelsey . DO NOT . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stare down at [my]0-i phone on [my]0-i marble countertop . DON’T ! [My]0-i hand itches to grab the phone , [my]0-i heart making the decision . And before [I]0-i can stop [myself]0-i , [I]0-i grab [my]0-i phone and press send on the text [I]0-i ’ve already composed . [JP]296-jp : Good morning , [baby]2899-baby . [I]0-i hope [you]2899-baby got [home]2941-home all right last night . [I]0-i know [you]2899-baby want space and [I]0-i ’m going to give [you]2899-baby what [you]2899-baby want , but [I]0-i need [you]2899-baby to know that [I]0-i ’m still thinking about [you]2899-baby , every goddamn second . [I]0-i sent over a morning - after basket with a few things to help [you]2899-baby recover from last night . [I]0-i ’m here for [you]2899-baby . [I]0-i curl [my]0-i lips over [my]0-i teeth , staring at the text , reading it over and over again . When it ’s marked as read with no response , [I]0-i inwardly cringe , hating [myself]0-i . Should ’ve listened to [your]2899-baby goddamn brain .

* * *

[JP]296-jp : Still giving [you]2899-baby space , but just wanted to tell [you]2899-baby that [I]0-i miss [you]2899-baby . [I]0-i miss [your]2899-baby warm hugs , [your]2899-baby soft lips , the way [you]2899-baby make [me]0-i feel when [you]2899-baby ’re around . [I]0-i miss everything about [you]2899-baby , [baby]2899-baby . [JP]296-jp : Also , [I]0-i just found out [Kazoo]227-kazoo , the pigeon , was adopted and [I]0-i did n’t know how to tell [you]2899-baby . [I]0-i feel like maybe [I]0-i played a small part in [him]227-kazoo finding [a good home]2448-a good home . [I]0-i hope [they]2449-they treat [him]227-kazoo well . [JP]296-jp : [I]0-i asked for [his]227-kazoo new home address and [the shelter]2450-the shelter told [me]0-i that information was private . Understandable , but [I]0-i really just wanted to send [him]227-kazoo a few things , [you]2899-baby know ? [I]0-i ’m going to miss looking at [his]227-kazoo picture on the website . [JP]296-jp : Anyway , just had to tell [you]2899-baby that . Miss [you]2899-baby , [babe]2728-babe .

* * *

[JP]296-jp : [I]0-i have n’t seen any new podcast episodes . [I]0-i was hoping to listen to [your]2899-baby voice this morning on [my]0-i run , so [I]0-i just replayed an old one . Have [I]0-i ever told [you]2899-baby what [a great host]2452-a great host [you]2899-baby are ? [You]2899-baby ’re really funny , [you]2899-baby ask great questions , and [I]0-i can truly feel how passionate [you]2899-baby are about romance . It ’s one of the reasons why [I]0-i really like [you]2899-baby[your]2899-baby love for love . [JP]296-jp : [I]0-i should n’t be texting [you]2899-baby , [I]0-i know , but [I]0-i had to tell [you]2899-baby that . Okay , bye , [baby]2899-baby .

* * *

JP : That pool float [you]2899-baby ordered for [my]0-i pool , the giant pigeon , it came in . [I]0-i laughed for a solid ten minutes , blew it up , and it ’s where [I]0-i am now , floating naked on the pigeon . [I]0-i ’d send [you]2899-baby a picture , but [I]0-i should n’t even be contacting [you]2899-baby . Made [me]0-i laugh , and made [me]0-i miss [you]2899-baby more . [I]0-i wish [you]2899-baby were floating on it with [me]0-i . [JP]296-jp : [I]0-i ’m here , waiting for when [you]2899-baby ’re ready to talk .

* * *

[JP]296-jp : Fuck . . . [I]0-i just miss [you]2899-baby , [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [JP]296-jp : [I]0-i miss [you]2899-baby so fucking much . [JP]296-jp : Call [me]0-i when [you]2899-baby ’re ready .

* * *

The front door to [[my]0-i house]2843-my house opens and shuts , the sound echoing through the emptiness of [[my]0-i dark house]2455-my dark house . [Dude]2754-dude , [I]97-breaker know [you]2754-dude ’re in [here]2716-here , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says . “ Are [you]2754-dude going to make [me]97-breaker follow the scent of [your]2754-dude unwashed body , or are [you]2754-dude going to help [a guy]788-a guy out and at least groan so [I]97-breaker know where [you]2754-dude are ? ”[97-breaker] “ In here , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say somberly from where [I]0-i ’m spread across the couch in [[my]0-i living room]2456-my living room . [I]0-i ’m not prepared for the blast of ungodly light that fills [the dark room]2302-the dark room when [he]97-breaker flips on the switch to the overhead lights . [I]0-i cover [my]0-i eyes with [my]0-i forearm and mutter , “ Fuck . . . [you]97-breaker . ”[0-i] “ Jesus Christ , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says from the entrance of [the living room]2689-the living room . “ Have [you]0-i fucking moved from the couch in the last week ? ”[97-breaker] “ Yes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll over on the couch so [my]0-i stomach is pressed against the cushions . [I]0-i bury [my]0-i head into a throw pillow and mutter against the fabric , [I]0-i ’ve gotten up to pee . ”[0-i] “ Shocking , [I]97-breaker thought [you]0-i ’d have peed in one of the many bottles of . . . what is this ? ”[97-breaker] From the corner of [my]0-i eye , [I]0-i see [him]97-breaker pick up an empty bottle . “ Is this root beer ? ”[97-breaker] “ All natural , made with cane sugar . ”[0-i] “ Is it good ? ”[0-i] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i shake [my]0-i head . “ But [I]0-i purchased six cases of it so [I]0-i ’ve been drinking them . ”[0-i] “ Why the hell would [you]97-breaker buy that much ? ”[0-i] “ Wanted the feel of clutching a bottle , but without the alcohol . There ’s something so . . . poetic about clutching a bottle when dealing with heartache . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker stands over [me]0-i , bottle dangling from [his]97-breaker fingers . [You]0-i know , [bro]2770-bro , [I]97-breaker think [you]0-i ’ve hit rock bottom . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i turn again , now looking up toward the ceiling . [I]0-i pinch [my]0-i brow and say , “ That would be an accurate description . ”[0-i] “ Have [you]0-i made any donations lately ? [I]0-i know that ’s [your]0-i MO when [you]0-i ’re sad . ”[0-i] [I]0-i slowly swallow and say , [The pigeon shelter [I]0-i ’ve been supporting]4530-the pigeon shelter i ’ve been supporting is now renaming [[its]4530-the pigeon shelter i ’ve been supporting building [the JP Cane Pigeon Rescue]4532-the jp cane pigeon rescue]4531-its building the jp cane pigeon rescue . [The JPCPR]74-the jpcpr . Has a fucking great ring to it . There ’s some press going out next week about it . [They]4533-they asked if [I]0-i ’d show up for the dedication of the new name , and do [you]97-breaker know how pathetic [I]0-i am ? ”[0-i] “ Tell [me]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker takes a seat on the coffee table in front of [me]0-i . [I]97-breaker told [them]4533-they [I]97-breaker ’d be honored , but only on one condition . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i sit up . [I]97-breaker asked that [Kazoo]227-kazoo be invited so [I]97-breaker could meet [him]227-kazoo . ”[97-breaker] [Dude]2754-dude — ”[0-i] “ That ’s not the worst of it . ”[0-i] [I]0-i look [[my]0-i brother]390-my brother dead in the eyes and say , [I]0-i commissioned [some lady on [Etsy]301-etsy]4535-some lady on etsy to make matching a shirt and bow tie set , one that would fit [me]0-i and one that would fit a pigeon . . . out of Kazoo fabric . ”[0-i] “ Oh fuck . . . [JP]296-jp . ”[0-i] [I]0-i know . ”[0-i] [I]0-i slowly nod [my]0-i head . [I]0-i fucking know . [Rock bottom]75-rock bottom . But the only thing that ’s getting [me]0-i to keep moving forward is the idea that [I]0-i could take a picture with [Kazoo]227-kazoo in [our]4536-our matching shirts . [I]0-i actually giggled at one point thinking about it . ”[0-i] “ Giggled ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker ’s eyes widen . “ Come on , [man]3096-man . [We]4536-our need to get [you]3096-man up , showered , back to [the office]548-the office , back to a routine . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker paid extra for a rush fee . [I]97-breaker also looked into classes on how to communicate with the pigeons . [You]0-i can train [them]4539-they to deliver messages . [I]97-breaker was thinking about writing a love letter to [Kelsey]89-kelsey and having a pigeon deliver it to [her]89-kelsey . Is n’t that romantic ? ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker stares blankly at [me]0-i . “ No , [man]3096-man . No , it ’s not . It ’s fucking creepy . [You]0-i realize pigeons are better known as the rat of the sky ? ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i pop off the couch so fast , [Breaker]97-breaker falls back on the coffee table . [You]0-i know , that ’s exactly what [an uneducated nitwit]4541-an uneducated nitwit would say . Did [you]0-i know that pigeons are actually intelligent and complex ? [They]4539-they ’re [one of the only animals on [the planet]4096-the planet]4542-one of the only animals on the planet to pass the mirror test . Meaning , [you]0-i stick a mirror in front of [them]4539-they and [they]4539-they fucking know [they]4539-they ’re looking at [their]4539-they reflection . Are [rats passing that test]4544-rats passing that test ? No , [they]4539-they ’re just sitting there , in creepy holes , gnawing at [their]4539-they nuts until [they]4539-they can find something better to chew on . ”[97-breaker] “ Okay , sorry [I]97-breaker mentioned it . ”[97-breaker] “ Also , there ’s very little scientific evidence that pigeons carry diseases . And contrary to what ’s blasted all over the media , pigeons are quite clean animals . ”[97-breaker] [I]97-breaker ’m not sure pigeons are being blasted on the media . ”[97-breaker] “ And [you]97-breaker know what ? ”[97-breaker] Hands on [my]0-i hips , irritation roaring through [me]0-i , [I]0-i say , [Pigeons]302-pigeons mate for life . [They]302-pigeons meet [their]302-pigeons one and only , and [they]302-pigeons ’re set . ”[0-i] [My]0-i voice grows scratchy as [I]0-i think about [Kelsey]89-kelsey . [They]302-pigeons do n’t need to second - guess [their]302-pigeons decision . [They]302-pigeons just . . . know . ”[89-kelsey] [JP]296-jp , are [you]296-jp okay ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i sniff . [They]302-pigeons understand that the feathered beauty in front of [them]302-pigeons is for [them]302-pigeons and [them]302-pigeons alone . ”[0-i] [I]0-i wipe at [my]0-i nose . [They]302-pigeons mate , [they]302-pigeons have two chicks , and [they]302-pigeons spend the rest of [their]302-pigeons years , feather in feather , like hand in hand , flying off into the sunset . ”[0-i] [I]0-i think [we]4545-we need to get [you]296-jp out of here . ”[0-i] [I]0-i swipe at [my]0-i eyes . “ That ’s what [I]0-i need to do . [I]0-i need to ask [Kelsey]89-kelsey to be [my]0-i pigeon . ”[0-i] Frantically , [I]0-i look around for [my]0-i phone . [I]97-breaker need to text [her]89-kelsey . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker grips [my]0-i arm . “ That ’s not a good idea . [She]89-kelsey wo n’t understand . ”[97-breaker] “ Then [I]0-i ’ll explain it to [her]89-kelsey , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , feeling [my]0-i expression go slightly crazy . [I]0-i ’ll send [her]89-kelsey a video , telling [her]89-kelsey all about pigeon mating rituals . ”[0-i] “ Dude , really bad idea , especially with the way [you]0-i look right now . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i ’ll show [her]89-kelsey a video . [I]0-i found this really great one about how pigeons communicate . It made [me]0-i think of [her]89-kelsey , especially since one of the pigeons [it]4546-it focused on had some gold feathers on its neck . It reminded [me]0-i of [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s eyes . In [my]0-i head , [I]0-i named it [Kelsey]89-kelsey and — ”[0-i] Thwap . [I]0-i ’m knocked back on the couch , pain ricocheting through [my]0-i face as [I]0-i stare up at [Breaker]97-breaker , who ’s shaking out [his]97-breaker hand . [I]0-i slowly process the warm spot on [my]0-i cheek where [I]0-i was struck . [You]97-breaker hit [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , stating the obvious . [I]0-i ’m not even sorry . It had to be done . ”[0-i] [He]97-breaker lets out a deep breath . “ Look around [you]0-i . [You]0-i ’re drowning [yourself]0-i in sugar cane root beer that [I]97-breaker can only assume tastes like a foot , [you]0-i ’re attempting to twin with [a goddamn pigeon [you]0-i ’ve never met]4547-a goddamn pigeon you ’ve never met , and [you]0-i ’re naming fictional pigeons [Kelsey]89-kelsey . This is n’t just rock bottom , this is crossing a line , and to hell if [I]97-breaker ’m going to sit back and watch . Now get the fuck up , go take a goddamn shower , and get [your]0-i shit together , because there ’s no way in hell [Kelsey]89-kelsey is going to want to talk to [a guy who ’s attempting to crack the code on pigeon communication so [he]4548-a guy who ’s attempting to crack the code on pigeon communication so he can tell her how much he loves her can tell [her]89-kelsey how much [he]4548-a guy who ’s attempting to crack the code on pigeon communication so he can tell her how much he loves her loves [her]89-kelsey]4548-a guy who ’s attempting to crack the code on pigeon communication so he can tell her how much he loves her . Newsflash — that ’s not romantic . ”[97-breaker] [I]0-i blink a few times , and even though [I]0-i ’ve settled into the comfort of [my]0-i own — if [you]2460-you will — nest , [I]0-i realize that [he]2460-you ’s right . Who knows if [Kelsey]89-kelsey will come back , or when . . . but if [she]89-kelsey does , [she]89-kelsey ca n’t find [me]0-i like this . No fucking way . [I]0-i scrub [my]0-i hand over [my]0-i face and say , “ Fuck , [I]0-i ’m embarrassed . ”[0-i] [You]0-i should be . [Fuck]296-jp . Now go get clean . [I]0-i ’m ordering dinner , and [you]0-i ’re going to work tomorrow . ”[0-i] [You]0-i ’re right . ”[0-i] [I]0-i stand again and head toward the stairs . [You]0-i ’re right , [I]0-i really need to get back to work , get back into the swing of things . Who knows , maybe this was the wake - up call [I]0-i needed . ”[0-i]

* * *

[I.]0-i Want . To . Die . This was a horrible idea . Really fucking horrible . [I]0-i miss the comfort of [my]0-i couch . [I]0-i miss the dank taste of the sugar cane root beer . And [I]0-i miss the sweet sound of pigeons cooing . Nothing seems more appealing to [me]0-i at this moment , but instead , [I]0-i ’m sitting at a conference table , across from [Kelsey]89-kelsey — who got a fucking haircut and looks sexier than ever with [her]89-kelsey shoulder - length curled hair — listening to [her]89-kelsey give [me]0-i an update on the Angelica project . When [I]0-i found out [I]0-i had a meeting with [her]89-kelsey , [I]0-i rushed out of [[my]0-i office]561-my office , ran over to [Breaker]97-breaker ’s , and sank down to the ground , wrapping [my]0-i hands and arms around [his]97-breaker leg , telling [him]97-breaker [I]0-i was n’t leaving [him]97-breaker alone until [he]97-breaker agreed to attend the meeting with [me]0-i . [He]97-breaker was on a video call . With [[our]2462-our team in [New York]66-new york]2463-our team in new york . [He]97-breaker was less than pleased . But it was a quick yes from [him]97-breaker so [he]97-breaker could shake [me]0-i off [his]97-breaker leg . But even with [him]97-breaker at [my]0-i side , [I]0-i still feel the air slowly seeping from [my]0-i lungs , making it increasingly harder to breathe with every second that goes by . And [Kelsey]89-kelsey , [she]89-kelsey looks so calm , collected , not an ounce of awkwardness from [her]89-kelsey — and that ’s concerning . Very fucking concerning . Because that can only mean one thing : [she]89-kelsey does n’t care anymore . [She]89-kelsey does n’t care about [us]2462-our . [She]89-kelsey ’s given up . If [she]89-kelsey cared , [she]89-kelsey ’d be stumbling over [her]89-kelsey sentences , dropping [her]89-kelsey papers , maybe even missaying some words . [You]2464-you know , like . . . uh . . . banana instead of bamboo . That makes zero sense , but in this frantic state , [I]0-i ca n’t think of anything that would portray what [I]0-i ’m trying to say . But [you]2464-you get it , right ? As [the Righteous Brothers]2465-the righteous brothers would say . . . [she]89-kelsey ’s lost that lovin’ feelin ’ . Fuck , [I]0-i should ’ve sent the pigeon message . [I]89-kelsey think that ’s all [I]89-kelsey have for [[you]2464-you guys]2996-you guys . Do [you]2464-you have any questions ? ”[89-kelsey] [Kelsey]89-kelsey asks as [she]89-kelsey tucks a curl behind [her]89-kelsey ear . Yes . [I]0-i have a few questions . Why have n’t [you]2464-you texted [me]0-i ? Have [you]2464-you thought about [me]0-i at all ? Do [you]2464-you miss [me]0-i like [I]0-i miss [you]2464-you ? Have [you]2464-you really lost that lovin’ feelin ’ ? “ Uh , [I]97-breaker think [we]4550-we ’re good , ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker says . “ Unless , [JP]296-jp , [you]296-jp have anything ? ”[97-breaker] [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s eyes land on [mine]2466-you as [she]89-kelsey patiently waits . Do [you]2466-you love [me]0-i ? Do [you]2466-you want to move in with [me]0-i ? Do [you]2466-you want to marry [me]0-i ? Do [you]2466-you want to be [[my]0-i pigeon]2467-my pigeon ? [Breaker]97-breaker kicks [me]0-i under the table , startling [me]0-i to answer . “ Uh , no , nothing . Great , uh , great work on all the projects and stuff . Really liked the , uh , the storage . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker groans next to [me]0-i and then says , “ Keep [us]4551-us updated on the cost of the engineered hardwood flooring . ”[97-breaker] [I]89-kelsey will . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey smiles . “ Thanks . ”[89-kelsey] [She]89-kelsey gathers [her]89-kelsey things , stands , and walks out of [the conference room]370-the conference room . When the door shuts , [I]0-i collapse on the table . [She]89-kelsey does n’t fucking miss [me]97-breaker . Cold as stone . [She]89-kelsey did n’t even flinch when [she]89-kelsey heard [my]97-breaker voice . ”[97-breaker] [Breaker]97-breaker is silent for a moment before saying , “ Yeah , [I]97-breaker actually expected [her]89-kelsey to be a little more nervous . Or at least show some feelings . ”[97-breaker] “ Right ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i bury [my]0-i head in [my]0-i hands . “ Fuck . It ’s over , is n’t it ? [I]0-i lost [her]89-kelsey . ”[0-i] [I]97-breaker do n’t think [you]97-breaker lost [her]89-kelsey . [I]97-breaker just think . . . [I]97-breaker think [she]89-kelsey ’s shielding [herself]89-kelsey . And frankly , [you]97-breaker ’re a goddamn mess right now . Maybe [she]89-kelsey ’s nervous to approach [you]97-breaker . ”[97-breaker] [I]2469-you ’m nervous to approach a mirror in fear of what [I]2469-you might see , of course [she]89-kelsey ’s not going to want to come near [me]2469-you . ”[2469-you] “ Then fix it , [man]3096-man . [She]89-kelsey liked [you]97-breaker because [you]97-breaker ’re charismatic , charming , and a good time . Right now , [you]97-breaker ’re just a ball of anxiety who ’s one loaf of bread away from becoming [a pigeon man]4553-a pigeon man . Show [her]89-kelsey [the man [she]89-kelsey fell for]4554-the man she fell for . Show [her]89-kelsey [the man [she]89-kelsey ’s meant to be with]4555-the man she ’s meant to be with . ”[97-breaker] Meant to be . . . [I]0-i lift [my]0-i head as an idea forms . “ What did [you]2469-you just say ? ”[2469-you] Looking confused , [he]2469-you says , “ Show [her]89-kelsey [the man [she]89-kelsey ’s meant to be with]4555-the man she ’s meant to be with . ”[2469-you] [I]0-i grip [Breaker]97-breaker ’s face , bring [him]2469-you into [mine]0-i , and kiss [him]2469-you right on the lips . [He]2469-you swats [me]0-i away and wipes at [his]2469-you mouth as [I]0-i say , [You]2469-you ’re so fucking smart . Why did n’t [I]0-i think of that ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i bolt out of [my]0-i chair and lift [my]0-i fist to the sky . [I]0-i ’m getting [her]89-kelsey back . . . watch this . ”[0-i]

Chapter Twenty - Four

KELSEY

[I]0-i chew on [my]0-i nail as [I]0-i listen to the phone ring three times and then hear , “ Hey , [sis]2986-sis . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m so sorry [I]0-i ’m calling [you]2469-you on [your]2469-you honeymoon , but [I]0-i really need to talk to [you]2469-you . ”[0-i] “ Do n’t apologize , [I]0-i told [you]2469-you to call whenever [you]2469-you want . Granted , [I]0-i did n’t think that was going to be every day , but [you]2469-you know [I]0-i ’m here for [you]2469-you . ”[0-i] [I]0-i know , [I]0-i ’m sorry , but . . . [I]0-i got [my]0-i haircut as [you]2469-you said . ”[0-i] “ Yes , [I]0-i know , [you]2469-you showed [me]0-i a picture . [You]2469-you like it ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i do . ”[0-i] [I]0-i pace [[my]0-i office]561-my office , knowing [JP]296-jp is just around the corner . “ And [I]296-jp feel really sexy with the short look , and [I]296-jp put on that new lingerie [you]2469-you made [me]296-jp buy , and the green dress . ”[296-jp] “ With the sleeves ? ”[0-i] “ Yes . ”[0-i] “ So , [you]2469-you ’re feeling better ? More confident ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i was . . . and [I]0-i swore [I]0-i was n’t going to call [you]2469-you , but then [JP]296-jp showed up at work yesterday , and [he]0-i looked . . . God , [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]0-i feel like everything [I]0-i ’ve been working on this past week vanished the moment [I]0-i saw [him]0-i , and [I]0-i was taken right back to that night . And then [I]0-i had a meeting with [him]0-i . Thankfully , [Breaker]97-breaker joined [us]4558-us . [I]0-i held it together , and [I]0-i ’m actually really proud of [myself]0-i for acting professionally during the entire meeting . But now that it ’s over , [my]0-i palms are sweating , and [I]0-i feel this urgent need to cry , but no tears are falling . ”[0-i] “ Seeing [him]0-i did n’t make [you]2469-you miss [him]0-i more ? ”[0-i] “ Of course it did . [I]0-i ’ve missed [him]0-i every minute of every day . And [his]0-i text messages have made it even worse . [I]0-i just felt so embarrassed when [I]0-i looked [him]0-i in the eyes . ”[0-i] [I]0-i can understand that . [You]2469-you ’re still carrying around the burden of what happened that night . ”[0-i] [I]0-i am , but [I]0-i ca n’t help but wonder if [I]0-i ’m being ridiculous . ”[0-i] [Your]2469-you feelings are completely valid . [No one]2811-no one can dictate if [you]2469-you ’re being ridiculous or not , because they ’re not in [your]2469-you head . [They]2811-no one ca n’t understand [your]2469-you emotions like [you]2469-you can . With that being said , do [you]2469-you think [you]2469-you ’re being ridiculous ? ”[0-i] “ Objectively , as [an outsider looking in]4560-an outsider looking in , all [I]0-i can think about is how there ’s [this man]2781-this man , [this wonderfully loving man , who wants nothing more than to be with [me]0-i]4562-this wonderfully loving man , who wants nothing more than to be with me . Being in the middle of it , [I]0-i guess , [I]0-i just feel a debilitating embarrassment , and [I]0-i do n’t know how to cross that line with [him]2781-this man again , [you]2469-you know ? ”[0-i] “ Does that mean [you]2469-you want [him]2781-this man back ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i . . . ”[0-i] Knock . Knock . [I]0-i glance up at the door , and there , standing in the doorway , hands tucked into [his]2471-his pockets , looking more handsome than ever , is [JP]296-jp . “ Uh , [Lottie]89-kelsey , [I]296-jp have to go . ”[296-jp] “ Oh God , is [he]2781-this man there ? ”[2472-you] “ Yup . Talk to [you]2472-you later . ”[0-i] [I]0-i hang up before [she]2472-you can respond . Nervously , [I]0-i set [my]0-i phone down and push [my]0-i hair behind [my]0-i ear . [He]2471-his does n’t step into [[my]0-i office]561-my office , but rather leans against the doorjamb , looking like [a model from GQ]2474-a model from gq , with [his]2471-his hair curling over [his]2471-his forehead and [his]2471-his dark scruff lining [his]2471-his jaw . “ Hello , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , unsure of what else to say . “ Is there , uh , something [you]2471-his need ? ”[0-i] “ Hey , can [I]2471-his get [your]2471-his opinion ? ”[2471-his] “ Uh . . . sure , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say . [We]2475-we have n’t talked in over a week , but [he]2471-his wants [my]0-i opinion on something , that ’s not weird at all . “ This suit , do [you]2471-his think [I]2471-his can pull it off ? ”[2471-his] Utterly confused , [I]0-i take in the simple black suit with a matching black button - up and ca n’t see how it ’s different from anything else [he]2471-his ’s worn . But given that [he]2471-his wants [my]0-i opinion , [I]0-i take some extra time to observe the way [his]2471-his pants cling tightly to [his]2471-his thighs , showing off [his]2471-his strong legs . [I]0-i ’ve been between those legs . [I]0-i ’ve seen them flex while [I]0-i have [his]2471-his penis in [my]0-i mouth . Immediately , [my]0-i cheeks flush from the thought , so [I]0-i divert [my]0-i eyes to [his]2471-his chest , to the lapel , and [I]0-i consider the many times [I]0-i ’ve pushed [his]2471-his suit jacket off [his]2471-his shoulders , and how that one time , [I]0-i wore nothing but [his]2471-his suit jacket . More of a flush . Okay , [I]0-i think that ’s enough . When [my]0-i eyes meet [his]2471-his again , a satisfied smile plays on [his]2471-his lips . “ Uh , the suit looks good . ”[2471-his] [I]0-i swallow . [You]2471-his can pull it off . Do [you]2471-his , uh , do [you]2471-his have some sort of meeting or”—gulp—“a[2471-his] date ? ” “[2471-his] Nah . [He]2471-his pushes off the doorjamb . “[2471-his] Just wanted to see [your]0-i eyes eat [me]0-i up again . [He]2471-his winks and then takes off without another word . Wait . . . what ? That was it ? That ’s all [he]2471-his wanted ? That . . . that ’s something [the old JP]4563-the old jp would ’ve done , [the one who used to tell [[me]0-i [men]2682-men and women who work together ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends]4565-me men and women who work together ca n’t be friends]4564-the one who used to tell me men and women who work together ca n’t be friends . Why would [he]2471-his do that ? Consider [me]0-i now more confused than ever .[0-i]

* * *

[Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , please stay back so [I]296-jp can talk to [you]0-i , ”[296-jp] [JP]296-jp says , sitting at the head of the conference table , hands steepled together . [The rest of [the construction team]2477-the construction team]2476-the rest of the construction team makes [their]2476-the rest of the construction team way out of [the conference room]370-the conference room , and when the door shuts , [he]0-i leans forward and asks , “ Care to explain ? ”[0-i] [He]0-i lifts a knowing brow at [me]0-i . “ Uh . . . ”[0-i] [I]0-i look around . “ Care to explain what ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i really do n’t know ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i have no idea what [you]0-i ’re talking about , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer , clutching [my]0-i notepad to [my]0-i chest . “ It was thirty - three times . ”[0-i] What ? [I]0-i ’m not sure [I]0-i can handle this right now . When [I]0-i came in this morning , [I]0-i was n’t prepared for another meeting with [JP]296-jp . In hindsight , what [I]0-i really was n’t prepared for was to be so distracted by the smell of [his]0-i cologne . [I]0-i even forgot what [we]2479-we were talking about a few times . [I]0-i swear , it was as if [he]0-i sprayed [my]0-i chair , and [my]0-i chair alone , because it consumed [me]0-i . “ What was thirty - three times ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [him]0-i . “ The number of times [I]0-i caught [you]0-i checking [me]0-i out . ”[0-i] [He]0-i rises from [his]0-i chair and buttons [his]0-i suit jacket . “ Now , [I]0-i ’m letting [you]0-i off the hook this time , but next time [you]0-i want to spend an hour - long meeting checking [me]0-i out , please schedule something on [your]0-i own time . ”[0-i] Is [he]0-i kidding [me]0-i right now ? [I]0-i did not look at [him]0-i that many times . [I]0-i did not look at [you]0-i that much . ”[0-i] [He]0-i ’s at [my]0-i side now , that cockiness front and center . “ As a matter of fact , [you]0-i did . ”[0-i] [I]0-i did not . Growing irritated , [I]0-i say , “ Well . . . if [I]0-i did , that means [you]0-i were looking at [me]0-i thirty - three times . ”[0-i] “ Ah , that ’s where [you]0-i ’re wrong , [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner . [I]0-i did n’t look at [you]0-i thirty - three times , [I]0-i looked at [you]0-i far more times , fifty - four to be exact , almost every minute . ”[0-i] [He]0-i wets [his]0-i lips . “ Okay , well . . . then , why do n’t [you]0-i , uh , make an appointment to stare next time ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i say in a shaky , not very confident voice . “ Maybe [I]0-i will . Have a good day . ”[0-i] [He]0-i retreats back to [[his]0-i office]1198-his office , [his]0-i head buried in [his]0-i phone . By the time [I]0-i reach [[my]0-i office]561-my office , there ’s a calendar request in [my]0-i inbox . When [I]0-i open it up , it ’s from [JP]296-jp . INVITE : Staring meeting with [JP CANE]87-jp . 10:00am-11:00am . Bring nothing . Wear nothing . [My]0-i cheeks heat up once again as the smallest of smiles pulls at the corner of [my]0-i lips . [I]0-i reply to the request with one click on the decline button .

* * *

TO : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey FROM : [JP Cane]87-jp SUBJECT : Declined Invite Request Dear [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , [I]0-i see that [you]172-miss gardner ’ve declined [my]0-i invite to stare at [each other]333-each other for an hour for the fourth time . [I]0-i ca n’t possibly see how [your]172-miss gardner schedule is so tight that [you]172-miss gardner ca n’t accept [my]0-i request . May [I]0-i ask why [you]172-miss gardner continue to reject this invitation that was born through [your]172-miss gardner very own staring ? Please respond in a timely manner . Thank [you]172-miss gardner , [JP Cane]87-jp Smiling like [an absolute fool]946-an absolute fool , [I]0-i consider deleting the email , but then . . . [I]0-i wonder how fun it might be to actually respond back . The last few days have been unexpected . Somehow , [JP]87-jp has created this feeling of what it used to be like between [us]2484-us , and [I]0-i ’ve had one stark and very large realization — [I’ve]0-i missed this . [Us]2484-us . And even though [I]0-i feel awkward . . . weird , [I]0-i do n’t think [I]0-i can ignore [him]87-jp . So , [I]0-i write [him]87-jp back . TO : [JP Cane]87-jp FROM : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey SUBJECT : RE : Declined Invite Request Dear Mr. Cane , [Your]172-miss gardner request has been denied four times because [I]0-i fail to see how staring at each other can offer any productivity or progress to [Cane Enterprises]1-cane enterprises . If [you]172-miss gardner can provide [me]0-i with a detailed list as to how it might benefit [the company]3158-the company , [I]0-i ’d be apt to reconsider . Thank [you]172-miss gardner , [Kelsey]86-kelsey

* * *

TO : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey FROM : [JP Cane]87-jp SUBJECT : RE : Declined Invite Request [Dear Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , [I]0-i appreciate [your]172-miss gardner loyalty to [the company]3158-the company and wanting to further the success of [[our]2487-our multi - billion - dollar enterprise]2488-our multi - billion - dollar enterprise . As to the benefit a one - hour staring contest could provide [the company]3158-the company , [I]0-i ’d like to bring to [your]172-miss gardner attention the following chart below . Please email if [you]172-miss gardner have any questions . Staring - > forced proximity - > makes [boss]2490-boss happy . Thank [you]172-miss gardner , [JP]87-jp

* * *

TO : [JP Cane]87-jp FROM : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey SUBJECT : RE : Declined Invite Request [Dear Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , [I]0-i ’m flattered by [your]160-mr. cane response , but [I]0-i must remind [you]160-mr. cane , [your]160-mr. cane request is purely personal , and as [I]0-i once was told , [men]2682-men and [women]2683-women ca n’t be [friends]2684-friends in [the workplace]2494-the workplace , because of the obvious attraction . [I]0-i ’m afraid [your]160-mr. cane request borders on inappropriate behavior , something [I]0-i do n’t partake in . Unfortunately , [your]160-mr. cane request has been once again denied . Thank [you]160-mr. cane , [Kelsey]86-kelsey

* * *

TO : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey FROM : [JP Cane]87-jp SUBJECT : RE : Declined Invite Request [Dear Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , [Your]172-miss gardner dedication to maintaining as [a superior role model]2495-a superior role model should be applauded . Perhaps [we]2496-we should offer [you]172-miss gardner a raise . . . or possibly , [you]172-miss gardner can give [me]0-i a raise . . . ( Wiggles eyebrows ) [Yours]172-miss gardner , [Jonah]201-jonah [I]0-i squeeze [my]0-i eyes shut and inwardly squeal from seeing [his]201-jonah name at the bottom of [his]201-jonah email . [His]201-jonah name that [he]201-jonah seems to only use with [me]0-i . [I]0-i ’m reminded of the time [I]0-i found out what [his]201-jonah real name was , after one of [our]2496-we outings in [San Francisco]21-san francisco . [He]201-jonah was walking away from [[my]0-i room]1114-my room , a smirk on [his]201-jonah handsome face as [he]201-jonah told [me]0-i . [I]0-i remember the exact feeling that washed over [me]0-i at that moment , too , a connection much deeper than surface level , a connection that made [me]0-i feel as if [I]0-i was a special part of [his]201-jonah life . That feeling has been resurrected . Every email response is spreading warmth through [my]0-i veins , and [my]0-i feelings of embarrassment are slowly slipping away into nothing .

* * *

TO : [JP Cane]87-jp FROM : [Kelsey Gardner]86-kelsey SUBJECT : RE : Declined Invite Request Dear [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , [You]160-mr. cane could n’t possibly be alluding to an erection , could [you]160-mr. cane ? [I]0-i ca n’t fathom [you]160-mr. cane are , being how inappropriate that would be . [I]0-i suggest [you]160-mr. cane consider very carefully [your]160-mr. cane next response . [Yours]160-mr. cane , [Kelsey]86-kelsey [My]0-i stomach somersaults as [I]0-i press send . It ’s the first time since the wedding that [I]0-i ’ve shown any inkling that [I]0-i still have feelings for [him]201-jonah , that [I]0-i ’m hoping [he]201-jonah ’s still waiting for [me]0-i . It ’s been a difficult two weeks , attempting to sort through [my]0-i feelings , missing [JP]87-jp , and trying to remember who the hell [I]0-i am . Trying to see [my]0-i worth . Attempting to convince [myself]0-i that [I]0-i ’m beautiful , [I]0-i ’m wanted , [I]0-i ’m needed . And [JP]87-jp , in [his]87-jp small way , has helped that progress . Knock . Knock . [I]0-i glance up to see [JP]87-jp once again standing in [my]0-i doorway , sans [his]87-jp suit coat . [My]0-i eyes fall to [his]87-jp button - up shirt and how it stretches across [his]87-jp firm chest . [His]87-jp sleeves are rolled up to [his]87-jp elbows and [he]87-jp ’s wearing that classic smirk of [his]87-jp , the smirk that has been stuck in [my]0-i dreams for the last few nights . Sitting tall , [I]0-i ask , “ Can [I]0-i help [you]87-jp , [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane ? ”[0-i] [He]87-jp rubs [his]87-jp hands together . [You]0-i can . [I]87-jp was hoping to discuss some business with [you]0-i . ”[87-jp] “ Would [you]0-i like to take a seat ? ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp shakes [his]87-jp head . “ No , this would be better discussed over dinner . ”[87-jp] [My]0-i brow raises . “ Is this a business dinner ? ”[87-jp] “ Yes . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i do n’t believe [him]87-jp , but [I]0-i go with it anyway . “ Okay , shall [I]0-i pencil [you]87-jp in for next week ? ”[0-i] “ Tonight . [[My]87-jp place]3926-my place . Seven o’clock . ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp ’m afraid [I]87-jp ’m not comfortable with attending a business meeting at [[your]87-jp place of residence]4569-your place of residence . ”[87-jp] [I]0-i understand [your]0-i concern , but [I]0-i can assure [you]0-i , [no one]2811-no one will be [there]2954-there , so there ’s no need to be uncomfortable , [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner . [You]0-i can just be [yourself]0-i . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp stands tall . “ See [you]0-i tonight . ”[87-jp] Without waiting for a response , [he]87-jp walks away . Unsure of what to do , [I]0-i pick up [my]0-i phone and text [Lottie]89-kelsey . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : Oh God , [he]87-jp asked [me]0-i to dinner , at [[his]87-jp place]1089-his place . [He]87-jp ’s expecting [me]0-i [there]2954-there . What do [I]0-i do ? Thankfully , [she]89-kelsey answers . [Huxley]90-huxley is going to murder [me]0-i when [he]87-jp gets [home]2941-home , [I]0-i can feel it . [Lottie]89-kelsey : What do [you]0-i mean , what do [you]0-i do ? [You]0-i go ! [Kelsey]89-kelsey : What if . . . what if [he]87-jp wants to get back together , or worse , what if [he]87-jp does n’t ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : If there are two things [I]0-i know for certain in [my]0-i life , it ’s that [Huxley Cane]90-huxley was meant to be [the man of [my]0-i life]2501-the man of my life . . . and [JP Cane]87-jp is meant to be [yours]2502-you . [He]87-jp loves [you]2502-you , desperately . Take the leap , the leap [you]2502-you ’ve always wanted to take . [You]2502-you ’ve told [me]0-i over and over again that love is a roller coaster . [You]2502-you ’re on [the roller coaster]2503-the roller coaster , so enjoy it . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [I]0-i think [I]0-i might be ready , but [I]0-i ’m scared . [Lottie]89-kelsey : Good , if [you]2502-you were n’t then [I]0-i ’d be concerned . [You]2502-you know , there ’s something [I]0-i never told [you]2502-you , something [I]0-i feel like [you]2502-you should know . That night , when [the boys]598-the boys were covering up that email , it was n’t the way [JP]87-jp was portrayed in the article that made [him]87-jp put up the money to extract the article , it was what [they]598-the boys said about [you]2502-you . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : What did [they]598-the boys say about [me]0-i ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : [Huxley]90-huxley told [me]0-i the article not only painted [JP]87-jp in a horrible light with the borderline harassment email , but [they]598-the boys said [you]2502-you were using [JP]87-jp to get ahead with [[your]2502-you company]2719-your company . [Huxley]90-huxley said [JP]87-jp lost it , and [he]87-jp said [JP]87-jp did everything in [his]87-jp power to make sure [[your]2502-you company]2719-your company was n’t dragged through the mud because [he]87-jp understands how hard [you]2502-you worked to get to where [you]2502-you are . [Kelsey]89-kelsey : [He]87-jp did that ? [Lottie]89-kelsey : Yes , and one of the main reasons [he]87-jp was so off that night was because [he]87-jp was frantic about what was going to happen . [He]87-jp thought [he]87-jp was going to lose [you]2502-you . [He]87-jp loves [you]2502-you , [sis]2986-sis . Do n’t let one bad moment eclipse the magic [you]2502-you two share . Okay ? Go to dinner . Let [yourself]2502-you love . [I]0-i promise [you]2502-you wo n’t regret it .

* * *

[I]0-i stand at [his]87-jp front door , nervously waiting for [him]87-jp to open it . [I]0-i was n’t sure what to wear to dinner tonight . [I]0-i considered a dress but felt that was too formal . Then a pantsuit , and knew that was way too . . . business - y , so [I]0-i settled on a black pair of leather leggings and a simple off - the - shoulder red shirt and high heels . Simple , but [I]0-i also have the confidence to walk through [his]87-jp door and not feel self - conscious . After what feels like forever , the door opens and [JP]87-jp appears on the other side , wearing a pair of jeans , no socks , and a white T - shirt . [His]87-jp hair is wet and [he]87-jp looks like [he]87-jp ’s fresh from the shower . [He]87-jp scans [me]0-i up and down , a hungry look in [his]87-jp eyes when they land on [my]0-i face again . [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , ”[87-jp] [he]87-jp says , a slight crack in [his]87-jp voice . “ Glad [you]0-i could make it . ”[87-jp] Nervously smiling , [I]0-i say , [I]0-i had to move some things around . Glad [I]0-i could make it work . ”[0-i] [He]87-jp steps aside , and [I]0-i walk into [[his]87-jp entryway]2508-his entryway , immediately feeling as though [I]0-i ’m returning [home]2941-home . [I]0-i ’ve had so many beautiful memories within these dark walls . [He]87-jp shuts the door and gestures toward [[his]87-jp backyard]2100-his backyard . The sliding glass doors are parted and [the yard]2511-the yard is lit up in shades of purple . [I]0-i feel [my]0-i breath catch as [I]0-i approach , the entire scene familiar , as if it was plucked straight from a movie . [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say as [I]0-i cross over into [the backyard]408-the backyard , taking it all in . The pool lights are a shade of lavender , the lights overhead are a mellow shade of gold , and the lights along the base of the palm trees are a darker purple . On the table is a pitcher of what looks to be lemonade and two glasses , which makes [me]0-i smile . Next to it is . . . oh God , [I]0-i ’d know that cake anywhere . Honey cake . “ This , uh , this does n’t feel very business - y to [me]87-jp . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp comes up to [me]0-i , pressing [his]87-jp hand to [my]0-i lower back , and [he]87-jp leans in and whispers , “ Good . ”[87-jp] Then [he]87-jp takes [my]0-i hand , leads [me]0-i over to [my]0-i chair , and sits [me]0-i down . [He]87-jp takes a seat across from [me]0-i . [He]87-jp sets [his]87-jp phone between [us]2513-us , and then reaches for a file folder next to the cake and slides it in front of [him]87-jp . [I]87-jp appreciate [you]0-i rearranging [your]0-i schedule and coming tonight . What [I]87-jp need to go over with [you]0-i is highly classified , so [I]87-jp ’d appreciate [your]0-i discretion . ”[87-jp] Beyond confused , [I]0-i nod , even though [I]0-i have no idea what [he]87-jp has planned . “ Of course . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp flips open the file folder and says , [I]87-jp ’m going to hand [you]0-i a script , and [I]87-jp ’m going to need [you]0-i to read it word for word while [I]87-jp record . ”[87-jp] What on earth is [he]87-jp doing ? “ Um . . . okay . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp motions to the lemonade . “ Do [you]0-i need a drink to clear [your]0-i throat first ? ”[87-jp] “ No , [I]87-jp ’m good . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp takes a paper out of the folder and says , “ Okay , it ’s important that [you]0-i do n’t read ahead . Can [you]0-i handle that ? ”[87-jp] [I]87-jp can . ”[87-jp] “ Good . Let [me]87-jp get [us]4572-us set up here . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp unlocks [his]87-jp phone , goes to the recording app , and then hits the record button before handing [me]0-i a piece of paper . [My]0-i eyes fall to the first sentence and [I]0-i quickly look back up at [him]87-jp . This consuming , fantasy - filled feeling flips [my]0-i heart in circles . [JP]87-jp . . . ”[87-jp] [Miss Gardner]172-miss gardner , remember what [I]87-jp said , read the script , and no looking ahead . ”[87-jp] [He]87-jp then winks at [me]0-i , and [I]0-i nearly cry right there . Because . . . oh God . . . Clearing [my]0-i throat , [I]0-i read what ’s written . “ ‘ Meant to Be Podcast . [Jonah]201-jonah and [Kelsey]89-kelsey . Welcome , [listener]385-listener , to the Meant to Be Podcast , where [we]4572-us talk to [madly - in - love couples]387-madly - in - love couples about the way [they]387-madly - in - love couples met . [Jonah]201-jonah , thank [you]201-jonah so much for joining [me]0-i today . ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ Thank [you]201-jonah so much for having [me]0-i . [Huge fan]4575-huge fan . [My]0-i favorite episode had to be [Jason]290-jason and [Dottie]288-kelsey . ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m smiling so hugely , [I]0-i can barely speak . “ ‘ Yeah , that potato salad was what miracles are made of . ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i laugh , a wet snort popping out . “ ‘ [I]0-i ca n’t wait to get [my]0-i own tub . ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ Coming to stores near [you]0-i soon . But that ’s not why [we]4576-we ’re here . [We]4576-we ’re here to talk about the love of [your]0-i life , [Kelsey]288-kelsey . ’ ”[87-jp] A tear falls past [my]0-i cheek , and before [I]0-i can wipe it , [JP]87-jp whips a box of tissues out of nowhere and sets it in front of [me]0-i . [I]0-i take one and dab at [my]0-i eye . “ ‘ How did [you]4576-we two meet ? ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ [You]0-i see , [[my]0-i brother]390-my brother [Huxley]90-huxley , [he]390-my brother got [[our]4576-we company]3335-our company into a bit of trouble . It ’s a long story , but because [he]390-my brother made a promise to [this girl [he]390-my brother struck a deal with]4579-this girl he struck a deal with , [we]4576-we had to sit down with [her]4579-this girl he struck a deal with and [[her]4579-this girl he struck a deal with sister]3184-her sister and listen to [them]4581-them pitch [us]4576-we a business proposition . [I]0-i was kind of annoyed , [you]0-i know , because [Huxley]90-huxley was making decisions without [us]4576-we , so when [we]4576-we lined up for the pitch , [I]0-i did n’t expect this smoke - show of [a woman]3073-a woman to walk off [the elevator]1032-the elevator . Immediately , [I]0-i felt something change in [me]0-i , something so deep , so profound , that [I]0-i could ’ve sworn a puzzle piece that ’s been missing [my]0-i whole life finally found its home . ’ ”[0-i] [My]0-i lip quivers . “ ‘ Are [you]0-i referring to [Kelsey]288-kelsey ? ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ [I]0-i am . Unfortunately , [[her]288-kelsey sister]3184-her sister ruined the entire meeting but , that whole time , while [she]288-kelsey was making a show of it , [I]0-i watched [Kelsey]288-kelsey . [I]0-i watched [her]288-kelsey face turn red with embarrassment , but [I]0-i also watched how [she]288-kelsey kept [herself]288-kelsey composed even though [her]288-kelsey hopes of bringing [her]288-kelsey business to the next level were vanishing right in front of [her]288-kelsey . There was something so raw about that moment that [I]0-i ’ve never forgotten . And [I]0-i knew [I]0-i had to see [her]288-kelsey again . ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i wipe at [my]0-i eyes . “ ‘ So , it seems like [you]0-i did . ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ Yeah , [they]4585-they were able to pitch again , and [her]288-kelsey idea was absolutely brilliant . [We]4586-we ’d have been [idiots]4587-idiots if [we]4586-we said no . Lucky for [me]0-i , the new business fell under [my]0-i management , and that ’s when [I]0-i got to spend more time with [her]288-kelsey . It started off as playful , but the more [I]0-i hung out with [her]288-kelsey , got to know [her]288-kelsey , the more [I]0-i knew [this girl]2758-this girl was meant for [me]0-i . The only problem , though — [I]0-i had to prove to [her]288-kelsey that [I]0-i was meant for [her]288-kelsey too . ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ How . . . how did [you]0-i do that ? ’ ”[0-i] “ ‘ Tried to be [[her]288-kelsey friend]1790-her friend , even though [I]0-i told [her]288-kelsey that was impossible . And when the moment was right , [I]0-i planned this entire night where [I]0-i ’d tell [her]288-kelsey how much [I]0-i wanted to be with [her]288-kelsey . But , to [my]0-i horror , [she]288-kelsey was going out with [someone else that night]4590-someone else that night . ’ ”[0-i] [My]0-i heart sinks just thinking about it . [My]0-i eyes fixate on the paper in front of [me]0-i . “ ‘ Wow , what [a harlot]4591-a harlot . . . ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i glance up at [him]2514-i and [he]2514-i chuckles . “ ‘ Nah , [I]2514-i did n’t give [her]288-kelsey sufficient hints that [I]2514-i was interested in taking things further . [I]2514-i do n’t blame [her]288-kelsey , but [I]2514-i did beg and plead for [her]288-kelsey to not leave with [him]2514-i . ’ ”[2514-i] “ ‘ Did [she]288-kelsey ? ’ ”[0-i] [I]0-i tilt [my]0-i head , watching [him]2514-i as the largest smile spreads across [his]2514-i face . “ ‘ [She]288-kelsey did n’t . [She]288-kelsey stayed with [me]2515-i , and at that moment , when [she]288-kelsey kissed [me]2515-i for the first time , [I]2515-i felt whole again . [I]2515-i felt like all the stars aligned and [I]2515-i was exactly where [I]2515-i needed to be , with [the girl of [my]2515-i dreams]4592-the girl of my dreams . It was n’t easy , and it took some convincing on [my]2515-i end , but [we]4593-we started as [co - workers]4594-co - workers , then [enemies]1071-enemies , then [friends]2684-friends . . . and now , [I]2515-i ’m hoping [we]4593-we can continue as more than [friends]2684-friends , if [she]4592-the girl of my dreams ’ll have [me]2515-i . ’ ”[2515-i] [He]2515-i sets [his]2515-i paper down and [I]0-i set mine down too right before [he]2515-i takes [my]0-i hand in [his]2515-i . “ What [I]2515-i ’m about to say to [you]0-i is n’t a moment in time to simply rectify [our]4593-we relationship . It ’s [me]2515-i , speaking from the heart , letting [you]0-i know how [I]2515-i feel , because [I]2515-i ca n’t go another day without [you]0-i knowing . ”[2515-i] [He]2515-i wets [his]2515-i lips and says , [I]2515-i love [you]0-i , [Kelsey]288-kelsey . [I]2515-i ’m pretty sure [I]2515-i ’ve loved [you]0-i from the moment [I]2515-i watched [your]0-i face fall during that first pitch . And [I]2515-i know , for the rest of [my]2515-i life , [I]2515-i wo n’t stop loving [you]0-i , ever , because [you]0-i were meant to be with [me]2515-i . [I]2515-i know , deep in [my]2515-i soul , to the very marrow of [my]2515-i bones , that [you]0-i ’re [[my]2515-i girl]2897-my girl , and [I]2515-i ’ll spend the rest of [my]2515-i life proving that to [you]0-i . ”[2515-i] [My]0-i hands are shaking . [My]0-i lips wo n’t stop trembling as [I]0-i lean forward and , with [my]0-i free hand , press [my]0-i palm to [his]2516-his cheek , look [him]2516-his in the eyes , and say , [I]0-i love [you]2516-his , [Jonah]201-jonah . [I]0-i ’m so sorry that it took [me]0-i this long to say it to [you]2516-his . ”[0-i] [I]0-i rub [my]0-i thumb over [his]2516-his cheek . “ But [I]0-i do , [I]0-i love [you]2516-his so much , and [I]0-i want nothing more than to spend the rest of [my]0-i life showing [you]2516-his just how much . ”[0-i] The corners of [his]2516-his mouth lift as [he]2516-his gives [me]0-i the sexiest smile [I]0-i ’ve ever seen . “ Christ . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his blinks a few times as [he]2516-his moves even closer . “ Come here . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his pulls [me]0-i onto [his]2516-his lap , and [his]2516-his arm goes around [my]0-i waist as [I]0-i settle [my]0-i hands on [his]2516-his shoulders . [You]2516-his love [me]0-i ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i nod . [I]2516-his really do . [I]2516-his ’ve known for a while . [I]2516-his ’ve just been scared . This feeling [I]2516-his have for [you]0-i , it ’s so powerful , it ’s so real , [I]2516-his was afraid that maybe [you]0-i did n’t return the feeling . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his chuckles . [You]0-i do n’t need to worry about that . Pretty sure [I]2516-his loved [you]0-i before [you]0-i even considered looking [my]2516-his way . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his rests [his]2516-his forehead against [mine]0-i . “ Is it too soon to beg [you]0-i to move in with [me]2516-his ? ”[2516-his] [I]0-i laugh as tears fall from [my]0-i eyes . “ How about [we]2517-we go on a date first ? ”[0-i] “ Okay , date first , then [you]0-i move in with [me]2516-his . ”[2516-his] “ Date first , [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom next , and then [we]2517-we talk about possibly moving in . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his smirks . “ Sounds like a plan , [baby]2899-baby . ”[2516-his] [He]2516-his closes the space between [us]2517-we and kisses [me]0-i . A searing kiss that tears through [me]0-i from the tips of [my]0-i toes to the top of [my]0-i head . [His]2516-his kiss claims [me]0-i , showing [me]0-i that no matter what happens , no matter what journey [we]2517-we take , [I]0-i ’m [his]2516-his . [He]2516-his ’s [mine]0-i . And together , [we]2517-we ’re so meant to be .

Epilogue

JP

[I]0-i ’m so nervous . What if [I]0-i say the wrong thing ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask [Kelsey]288-kelsey as [my]0-i leg bounces up and down in the back of [the car]887-the car while [we]2517-we wait to be called upon . [I]288-kelsey do n’t think [you]0-i can say the wrong thing in this moment . ”[288-kelsey] [She]288-kelsey brushes [my]0-i hair to the side . [I]288-kelsey think [you]0-i should just speak with [your]0-i heart . ”[288-kelsey] [I]0-i rub [my]0-i sweaty palms on [my]0-i leg . “ That ’s what [I]0-i ’m afraid of . If [I]0-i speak with [my]0-i heart , [I]0-i might sound crazy . ”[0-i] [Kelsey]288-kelsey gives [me]0-i a gentle once - over and lightly smiles . [JP]87-jp , [honey]1249-honey , [I]288-kelsey think [you]0-i ’ve already reached the limit of crazy . ”[288-kelsey] [I]0-i glance down at [my]0-i custom - made pigeon shirt and then back at [[my]0-i girl]2897-my girl . [I]0-i asked [you]2897-my girl if [I]0-i looked nice , and [you]2897-my girl said yes . ”[0-i] [You]0-i do , [you]0-i look very nice . Stop being nervous and go out there and meet the bird that started it all . ”[0-i] [I]0-i take a deep breath . [You]0-i ’re right . [You]0-i ’re totally right . [I]0-i need to just be [myself]0-i . ”[0-i] [He]4602-he ’ll love [you]2897-my girl . ”[0-i] [You]0-i think so ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i ask , hope springing in [my]0-i chest . “ It ’s hard not to love [you]2897-my girl . ”[0-i] [She]2897-my girl leans forward and kisses [me]0-i on the lips , soft and sweet , helping [me]0-i relax before the door is opened on [my]0-i side . [Mr. Cane]160-mr. cane , ”[2897-my girl] [[our]2520-we driver]4135-our driver says . [They]4603-they ’re ready for [you]0-i . ”[2897-my girl] “ Fuck . Okay . God , do n’t puke , [JP]87-jp , do n’t puke , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say to [myself]0-i before stepping out of [the car]887-the car . [I]0-i turn around and offer [Kelsey]288-kelsey [my]0-i hand , helping [her]288-kelsey out as well . Ever since [our]2520-we night in [[my]0-i backyard]2523-my backyard , [we]2520-we ’ve been inseparable . That night , [we]2520-we danced under the stars , holding [each other]333-each other the entire time . Even when [we]2520-we ate cake , [she]288-kelsey sat on [my]0-i lap , never wanting to be too far away . And then , when [we]2520-we turned off the lights , [I]0-i took [her]288-kelsey up to [[my]0-i room]1114-my room where [we]2520-we made love . It was the best sex [I]0-i ’ve ever had , filled with emotion , and with the knowledge that this was the start of a new chapter for [us]2520-we . [I]0-i took [her]288-kelsey on that date [she]288-kelsey asked for . [We]2520-we went to [one of [[her]288-kelsey favorite pizza places in [LA]18-la]2527-her favorite pizza places in la]2526-one of her favorite pizza places in la , and it was not great . [She]288-kelsey said [she]288-kelsey used to go [there]2954-there all the time when [she]288-kelsey was young . [I]0-i told [her]288-kelsey [we]2520-we were n’t going anywhere [she]288-kelsey went to when [she]288-kelsey was young . . . again . When [I]0-i drove [her]288-kelsey back to [[her]288-kelsey place]801-her place , [I]0-i stayed the night and asked [her]288-kelsey to move in . It took about twenty more dates until [she]288-kelsey finally said yes to [my]0-i question , a question [I]0-i asked every night . And every time , [she]288-kelsey said maybe , never giving [me]0-i a straight answer until a few weeks ago . [She]288-kelsey moved in last weekend , and [I]0-i can honestly say , it ’s the best feeling in [the world]2761-the world . Now [I]0-i just have to plan when [I]0-i ’m going to propose , because it ’s going to happen . [I]0-i ’m not letting [her]288-kelsey go . With [my]0-i hand in [Kelsey]288-kelsey ’s , [we]2531-we walk around to [a tented - off area]2532-a tented - off area , where [Tammy]303-tammy , [the woman in charge of the pigeon rescue]2533-the woman in charge of the pigeon rescue , greets [us]2531-we . [Mr.]4604-mr. and [Mrs. Cane]90-huxley , [I]303-tammy ’m so glad [you]303-tammy could make it . ”[303-tammy] [I]0-i do n’t bother correcting [her]303-tammy , because [I]0-i really like the sound of it . “ Thank [you]303-tammy for having [me]0-i and [the wifey]4605-the wifey . ”[0-i] [I]0-i squeeze [Kelsey]288-kelsey ’s hand and can practically feel [her]288-kelsey eye roll . “ Is , uh . . . is [Kazoo]227-kazoo here ? ”[0-i] [He]227-kazoo is . [He]227-kazoo got the bow tie [you]303-tammy sent , and [I]0-i just have to say , [he]227-kazoo looks so adorable . If [you]303-tammy ’re ready to meet [him]227-kazoo , [he]227-kazoo ’s just in [this tent]4606-this tent , and then [we]2534-we can do the ribbon - cutting ceremony . ”[0-i] “ That works for [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i say , already feeling how sweaty [my]0-i hand is getting against [Kelsey]288-kelsey ’s palm . “ Right this way , ”[303-tammy] [Tammy]303-tammy says , parting the tent door . [We]2534-we walk in , and it takes [my]0-i eyes a second to adjust , but once they do , [they]2535-they spot [a little fella]2536-a little fella on a perch , wearing a bow tie that matches the fabric of [my]0-i shirt . “ Oh fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i whisper to [Kelsey]288-kelsey . [I]288-kelsey might cry . ”[288-kelsey] [She]288-kelsey chuckles and whispers back , [I]288-kelsey ’m not sure [I]288-kelsey could love [you]0-i more than in this moment . ”[288-kelsey] [I]0-i give [her]288-kelsey a quick peck on [her]288-kelsey cheek and then walk up to [Kazoo]227-kazoo , making sure to walk slowly to not scare [him]227-kazoo . [His]227-kazoo little head flits back and forth , looking as confused as ever . But [his]227-kazoo bulgy eyes and [his]227-kazoo bow tie , they just about break [me]0-i . “ Hi , [Kazoo]227-kazoo . ”[227-kazoo] [He]227-kazoo looks to the right , [he]227-kazoo looks to the left , and then [he]227-kazoo lifts one foot . [I]0-i grip [my]0-i chest and say , “ Oh hell , [I]0-i think [I]0-i just met [the second love of [my]0-i life]4607-the second love of my life . ”[0-i] When [I]0-i look back at [Kelsey]288-kelsey , [she]288-kelsey ’s recording the whole thing , a huge smile on [her]288-kelsey face . [I]0-i said it once and [I]0-i ’ll say it again — this is where [I]0-i ’m supposed to be . With [Kelsey]288-kelsey , celebrating the small , yet weird , things like a pigeon who captured [my]0-i attention months ago . What once was [Huxley]90-huxley ’s mistake , has now turned into a win for [me]0-i , because if [Huxley]90-huxley never met [the love of [his]227-kazoo life]2537-the love of his life , then [I]0-i never would ’ve met [mine]0-i . [The girl who wanted nothing to do with [me]0-i at first]2538-the girl who wanted nothing to do with me at first . Then slowly wanted to be [[my]0-i friend]1063-my friend . And then , in the best way possible , chose [me]0-i for who [I]0-i am . [She]2538-the girl who wanted nothing to do with me at first chose [Jonah]201-jonah .

* * *

Need more [JP]87-jp and [Kelsey]288-kelsey ? Click HERE to read [their]2540-their extended epilogue .

Ready for the next book ? Well , [I]0-i need to prep [you]2541-you , first . Coming this November , [you]2541-you 're not only going to revisit [JP]87-jp , [Huxley]90-huxley and [Breaker]97-breaker , but a new character is coming into play . [A character from [THE PERFECT CATCH]76-the perfect catch]2542-a character from the perfect catch . Want to figure out who it might be , keep scrolling to check out the excerpt for THE PERFECT CATCH .

Want more from [these characters]2543-these characters now ? Be sure to read [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey ’s story , [A Not So Meet Cute]304-a not so meet cute

Be sure to read the full stories from [Kelsey]89-kelsey ’s Meant to Be Podcast : [Alec]93-alec and [Luna]94-luna - The Wedding Game [Knox]134-knox and [Emory]135-emory - [The Locker Room Pacey]77-the locker room pacey and [Winnie]139-kelsey - Kiss and Do n’t [Tell Rath]161-kelsey and [Charlee]161-kelsey - [Boss Man Bridegroom Rowan]169-rowan and [Bonnie]170-bonnie - [The Highland Fling Arlo]79-the highland fling arlo and [Greer]186-greer - See [Me]0-i After Class [Huxley]90-huxley and [Lottie]89-kelsey - [A Not So Meet Cute Griffin and Ren]2544-a not so meet cute griffin and ren - [That Second Chance]2545-that second chance [Sawyer]270-sawyer and [Fallon]271-fallon - [Runaway Groomsman Jason]2546-runaway groomsman jason and [Dottie]288-kelsey - The Lineup

[You]2547-you can also read the full story of [the Going in Blind dating app]2548-the going in blind dating app - [Three Blind Dates]2549-three blind dates

Read all of [Meghan]85-meghan ’s books in [Kindle Unlimited]80-kindle unlimited .

Excerpt - The Perfect Catch

Prologue

[WALKER]305-walker

Have [you]2547-you ever had the feeling when [you]2547-you walk into [a room]2550-a room , [you]2547-you just know [everyone]2734-everyone hates [you]2547-you ? [You]2547-you can feel the animosity . The distaste . The unfiltered negative energy directed at [you]2547-you , wishing — hoping — [you’d]2547-you just disappear into nothing right there on the spot ? Try having that feeling when [you]2547-you ’re walking into the batter ’s box in [a stadium]2552-a stadium with [tens of thousands of people who actually hate [you]2547-you]2553-tens of thousands of people who actually hate you . Who wear shirts displaying [their]2554-their anger toward [you]2547-you . [Who wave signs from the stands]2555-who wave signs from the stands , screaming out why [you]2547-you suck and should n’t be playing the one sport [you]2547-you ’ve played [your]2547-you entire life . It does n’t feel great . And yet , [I]0-i have n’t been able to muster up an ounce of care , which has only made matters worse . [The most hated player in baseball]2556-the most hated player in baseball — that ’s what [they]2557-they call [me]0-i . [My]0-i attitude is shit . [My]0-i “ bedside manner ”[2557-they] is atrocious . [My]0-i interviews are lackluster at best . [My]0-i relationships with [the coaching staff]2558-the coaching staff and [[my]0-i teammates]2559-my teammates are mercurial . And recently , this year , [my]0-i stats are a fucking dumpster fire . Why am [I]0-i so moody ? [I]0-i can waste a week of [your]2547-you time unraveling that Pandora ’s box , but one of the main reasons is [I]0-i have to play baseball with [the one person [I]0-i thought [I]0-i ’d never have to play with again]2560-the one person i thought i ’d never have to play with again : [Penn Cutler]306-penn . [The All - American heartthrob]2561-the all - american heartthrob[the media]1017-the media ’s words , not [mine]0-i . [I]0-i think [the dude]4353-the dude is [a giant douche]2564-a giant douche . [I]0-i ’ve thought that ever since [we]2565-we were small . [We]2565-we grew up in [the same town]2566-the same town . [We]2565-we played on the same teams — little league all the way through [high school]4221-high school . [We]2565-we ’ve worked magic on [the field]2568-the field , [Penn]306-penn being [the pitcher]2569-the pitcher , [me]0-i being [the catcher]2570-the catcher . [We]2565-we ’ve won title after title together , and yet , [we]2565-we hate [each other]333-each other . Hell , hate is n’t even a strong enough word . Abhor . [Seniors in high school]2572-seniors in high school , [I]0-i ’d thought that would be the last time [I]0-i had to deal with [his]4353-the dude smug face . [He]4353-the dude was off to [California]11-california to pitch , and [I]0-i was headed to [Florida]81-florida to catch . The era of [Penn]306-penn and [Walker]305-walker came to a close , and [I]0-i was [the first one]2573-the first one to throw some goddamn confetti in the air when it happened . But [you]2574-you should never celebrate too early . Before [I]0-i knew it , [we]2565-we were both in [the minors]2575-the minors , then [the majors]2576-the majors , floating between [teams]2577-teams until [the Bobbies]2578-the bobbies penned [us]2565-we both : same year , [same team]2579-same team . Life was fucking over . [The media]1017-the media ate up the reunion , and [Penn]306-penn , being [the camera whore that [he]306-penn is]2581-the camera whore that he is , played it up for the flashing lights and the live mics . [Arm]307-arm draped over [my]0-i shoulder , offering to [the fans]2582-the fans what kind of presence [the dynamic duo]2583-the dynamic duo could bring . And [we]2565-we did . [We]2565-we have . [We]2565-we ’ve dominated . But as [Penn]306-penn ’s stardom rose , [mine]0-i clunked and clambered down . [I]0-i accepted it . The limelight has never been [my]0-i thing . [I]0-i prefer to be [a hermit]2584-a hermit . [I]0-i prefer to keep [my]0-i distance . [I]0-i prefer to do [my]0-i damn job and then go [home]2941-home . [I]0-i do n’t need any of the extra fanfare that comes with being [a professional baseball player]2586-a professional baseball player . Apparently , that ’s not good enough though , because rumors are being tossed around . Forced retirement . [The front office]2587-the front office wants [me]0-i traded or wants [me]0-i out . And [I]0-i ’m not ready . The only way to get [them]2588-them off [my]0-i back ? Clear up [my]0-i image . [You]2589-you can imagine the monumental feat that would take , given how [[everyone]2734-everyone [I]0-i interact with]2591-everyone i interact with despises [me]0-i . But [I]0-i took it head - on because [I]0-i ’m desperate to play , desperate to stay in [Chicago]69-chicago . And how hard could it be ? Famous last words , right ? Especially when [the Bobbies]2578-the bobbies decide to set [me]0-i up with [[their]2578-the bobbies newest PR nightmare fixer]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer . To [her]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer , [Penn]306-penn ’s [the absolute golden boy]2594-the absolute golden boy — beyond reproach , charming , brilliant , and , of course , charismatic . To [her]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer , [I]0-i ’m the absolute leech — beyond redemption , reprehensible , unpleasant , depraved , and , of course , demoralizing . [This girl]2758-this girl ’s compassionate , beautiful , has a heart of gold , and is everything [I]0-i ’m not , and [she]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer has [me]0-i by the goddamn balls . [I]0-i ’ve never met [anyone like [her]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer]2596-anyone like her . [I]0-i ’ve never wanted [a woman]3073-a woman as much as [I]0-i want [her]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer . Of course , there ’s the no fraternizing with [the players]2598-the players rule . Because what ’s a story without [a fucking HR nightmare ready to unfold]2599-a fucking hr nightmare ready to unfold ? But oddly enough , that ’s not the worst part . No , the worst part is how [she]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer sees [Penn]306-penn and how [she]2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer sees [me]0-i . And [I]0-i have no clue how to change that or how to change [me]0-i . Basically , [I]0-i ’m screwed .

Chapter One

[WALKER]305-walker

“ Strike three . ”[2593-their newest pr nightmare fixer] “ Fuck , ”[0-i] [I]0-i scream , loud enough for not only [both dugouts]2600-both dugouts to hear , but for [my]0-i booming voice to bounce off the eardrums of [the first twenty rows in [the stadium]2602-the stadium]2601-the first twenty rows in the stadium . [I]0-i swing [my]0-i powerful body around to [the umpire]2603-the umpire , who ’s taking off [his]2603-the umpire mask and resetting [his]2603-the umpire clicker . [You]2603-the umpire ’ve got to be fucking kidding [me]0-i , ”[0-i] [I]0-i spew . “ That pitch was at least a foot off the plate . Where was that call when [I]0-i was standing in front of [you]2603-the umpire , protecting [you]2603-the umpire from ninety - five mile - per - hour fastballs ? ”[0-i] Not even looking [me]0-i in the eye , [Joe Verity]308-joe verity , one of [many umpires [I]0-i ’ve come to know well during [my]0-i years behind the plate]2604-many umpires i ’ve come to know well during my years behind the plate says , “ Walk away , [Rockwell]309-rockwell , before [I]308-joe verity chuck [your]309-rockwell ass out of here . ”[308-joe verity] “ Go ahead , the game ’s fucking over . ”[310-brow] [Brow]310-brow lifted , [he]308-joe verity makes eye contact . “ Do n’t think [I]308-joe verity wo n’t get [you]309-rockwell suspended for the next few games . Watch [yourself]309-rockwell , [Rockwell]309-rockwell , [I]308-joe verity know [you]309-rockwell ’re on thin ice already . ”[308-joe verity] Gripping [my]0-i bat in both hands , [I]0-i step over the plate and mumble over [my]0-i shoulder as [I]0-i walk toward [the dugout]2605-the dugout . “ Fuck . [You]308-joe verity . ”[0-i] [Rockwell]309-rockwell . . . ”[308-joe verity] [I]0-i ignore the warning tone in [his]308-joe verity voice and make the walk of shame back to [the dugout]2605-the dugout . [I]0-i glance over [my]0-i shoulder at the scoreboard . Six to five . Final . [I]0-i went zero for four with two strikeouts , one pop - up , and a goddamn groundout to [the pitcher]2569-the pitcher , a grounder [[my]0-i grandmother]2608-my grandmother could ’ve fielded . [I]0-i have n’t been in a slump this bad since [my]0-i first season in [the minors]2575-the minors . [Fans]2610-fans start to clear the stands , disappointment on [their]2610-fans faces , accepting another loss for [our]2611-our barely five hundred season . [We]2611-our ’re still in the running for the playoffs , thank [you]2612-you long baseball season and [other teams]2613-other teams slumping , but for [a team with the potential to win the World Series]2614-a team with the potential to win the world series , this is a pathetic showing , and it starts with [me]0-i not being able to put wood to the ball . [I]0-i jog down [the steps of [the dugout]2605-the dugout]2615-the steps of the dugout , bypassing [[my]0-i teammates , who are collecting [their]2617-my teammates , who are collecting their gloves and fleeing to the locker room gloves and fleeing to [the locker room]2618-the locker room]2617-my teammates , who are collecting their gloves and fleeing to the locker room . [They]2617-my teammates , who are collecting their gloves and fleeing to the locker room can sense what ’s going to happen next — destruction . [They]2617-my teammates , who are collecting their gloves and fleeing to the locker room can see it in [my]0-i face . And it would n’t be the first time . [I]0-i can feel it in [my]0-i tense shoulders as [my]0-i vision tunnels to black , rage seeps from every pore , and the bat in [my]0-i hand turns into a weapon , not a means to win a game . Heading to the far corner of [the dugout]2605-the dugout , [I]0-i raise [my]0-i bat , let out another swear word that would scare [the Jesus]2620-the jesus out of [all believers]2621-all believers , and smash it on the blue water cooler . The first connection of [my]0-i bat to the plastic vibrates through [my]0-i wrists all the way up [my]0-i forearms . Fuck , that stings . But the next two hits ease some of the pent - up tension in [my]0-i shoulders . The few after that make [me]0-i feel alive for the first time all day . It is n’t until the water cooler has lost all of its contents and keels over , wrapped around [my]0-i bat , that [I]0-i feel satisfied . And that ’s when [I]0-i take a deep breath and turn around to not only find [[my]0-i manager]2622-my manager staring at [me]0-i , hands stuffed in [his]2622-my manager pockets with a disapproving look on [his]2622-my manager face , but [I]0-i also find every camera on [the field]2568-the field pointed at [me]0-i . Fuck .

* * *

[I]311-ryot liked the water jug , ”[311-ryot] [Ryot]311-ryot , [[our]2624-our third baseman]2625-our third baseman , says from next to [me]0-i . “ Why ’d [you]0-i do it , [man]3096-man ? ”[311-ryot] “ Shut the fuck up , ”[0-i] [I]0-i mumble while leaning forward in [my]0-i chair , towel wrapped around [my]0-i waist , and a death march to [[[my]0-i manager]2622-my manager ’s office]2627-my manager ’s office hanging over [my]0-i head . After a pleasant walk while cameras flashed at [me]0-i through the dugout , [Coach]312-coach met [me]0-i in [the hallway]1132-the hallway and told [me]0-i [I]0-i was n’t to leave [this stadium]2629-this stadium until [I]0-i stopped in [[his]312-coach office]1198-his office for what [I]0-i can only think will be [my]0-i third verbal lashing of the month . Still caught up on the water cooler , [Ryot]311-ryot whispers while glancing around for [listeners]2631-listeners , “ When [you]0-i were in the shower , [they]313-the bobbies wheeled [the poor fella]4609-the poor fella through [the locker room]2618-the locker room on a gurney with a towel draped over [his]4609-the poor fella limp body . ”[311-ryot] [Ryot Bisley]311-ryot , [third base for [the Bobbies]313-the bobbies]2632-third base for the bobbies , [an arrogant yet hilarious prick]2633-an arrogant yet hilarious prick , is [[my]0-i best friend]328-my best friend[[my]0-i only friend]2635-my only friend . Normally , [he]328-my best friend can make [me]0-i laugh , lighten the mood , but not right now . Not today . [I]0-i stand from [my]0-i chair , whip off [my]0-i towel , and put on a pair of boxer briefs , [my]0-i muscles aching with every jagged move [I]0-i make . With each passing year , this job gets harder and harder . Despite [my]0-i young age of thirty - three , [I]0-i can already feel the ache in every one of [my]0-i bones from squatting for a living . Sensing [my]0-i frustration , [Ryot]311-ryot bends over to tie one of [his]328-my best friend shoes and says , “ It was a bad game . Shake it off . ”[328-my best friend] “ It ’s been four bad games in a row , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer through gritted teeth as [I]0-i yank [my]0-i jeans up [my]0-i legs and sit back in [my]0-i chair again , facing away from [the rest of [the team]3139-the team]2636-the rest of the team . “ The loss is n’t just on [you]311-ryot . [None of [us]4612-us]4611-none of us had [our]4612-us bats tonight . ”[0-i] [The rest of the team]2636-the rest of the team is n’t facing trade and forced retirement rumors like [I]2638-those who were n’t chosen for the all - star game am . ”[2638-those who were n’t chosen for the all - star game] The All - Star break is coming up and despite it being a week where [those who were n’t chosen for the All - Star game]2638-those who were n’t chosen for the all - star game get to take a breather , it ’s also one of the most hectic times for [the front office]2587-the front office , trying to make those last - minute trades to stack [[your]2640-your team]2641-your team for the end - of - the - season run to the World Series . [My]0-i name has been tossed around , speculation that [I]0-i could be possibly sent to [Oakland]82-oakland or [Phoenix]83-phoenix , [both teams [I]0-i would rather not touch with a ten - foot pole]2642-both teams i would rather not touch with a ten - foot pole . Not when [[my]0-i home]2643-my home is in [Chicago]69-chicago . Not when the only thing [I]0-i care about is here . “ So [you]2638-those who were n’t chosen for the all - star game think beating the fuck out of a water jug is going to grace [you]2638-those who were n’t chosen for the all - star game with a shining image ? ”[311-ryot] “ No . ”[0-i] [I]0-i grind [my]0-i teeth together while the urge to punch the wood of [my]0-i locker pulses through [me]0-i , but [I]0-i hold back . “ Should ’ve just broken [my]0-i bat over [my]0-i knee instead . ”[0-i] [You]0-i performed that trick last week . [You]0-i ca n’t keep showing off , ”[311-ryot] [Ryot]311-ryot says with blatant sarcasm . The smallest of smirks passes over [my]0-i lips before [I]0-i quickly wipe it away . The look on [Ryot]311-ryot ’s face when [I]0-i broke [my]0-i bat over [my]0-i quad is still engrained in [my]0-i head . Horror and respect crossed [his]2644-his eyes at the same time . Unfortunately , [I]0-i still have a bruise on [my]0-i leg to show for [my]0-i loss of temper . [I]0-i need more time in [the cages]4614-the cages . Meet [me]0-i at ten tomorrow ? ”[0-i] [You]0-i do n’t need time in [the cages]4614-the cages . [You]0-i need to get laid . ”[0-i] [I]0-i roll [my]0-i eyes and pull [my]0-i Bobbies T - shirt over [my]0-i head . “ Sex ca n’t fix everything . ”[0-i] “ It sure as hell can loosen [you]0-i up . [Your]0-i shoulders were so tense at the plate , [I]0-i swear [they]4616-they started to eat up [your]0-i bat . ”[0-i] [I]0-i ’m fine . ”[0-i] “ When was the last time [you]0-i actually fucked [someone]364-someone ? ”[0-i] [I]0-i scratch the side of [my]0-i jaw , [my]0-i nails scraping over [my]0-i rough five o’clock shadow . “ Do n’t know . ”[0-i] “ Fuck , [dude]2754-dude , if [you]0-i do n’t know , that ’s a problem . [You]0-i and [I]0-i both know in an adrenaline - laced job like [ours]4619-ours [we]4619-ours need to work it off in [the bedroom]4075-the bedroom . Do n’t [you]0-i have [a fuck buddy]4621-a fuck buddy ? Someone [you]0-i can call ? [You]0-i need to come , [man]3096-man , and not in [your]0-i hand , because if [you]0-i show up tomorrow with [your]0-i shoulders still touching [your]0-i ears again , [I]0-i ’m going to blow [you]0-i [myself]0-i . ”[0-i] Jesus Christ . Ignoring [Ryot]311-ryot , [I]0-i stuff [my]0-i wallet and keys in [my]0-i pockets , snag [my]0-i phone , and head to [[[my]0-i manager]2622-my manager ’s office]2627-my manager ’s office , where [I]0-i knock on the closed door . [I]0-i do n’t need to fuck . [I]0-i need . . . hell , [I]0-i do n’t know what [I]0-i need . [Ralph Hopkins]314-ralph is [one of [the toughest managers in [the league]2649-the league]2648-the toughest managers in the league]2647-one of the toughest managers in the league — fair , but tough — and from the disapproving look [he]314-ralph gave [me]0-i in the dugout , [I]0-i know this conversation is going to be anything but pretty . “ Come in . ”[0-i] [I]0-i push through the door and take a seat in the chair across from [him]314-ralph , knowing the routine by now . But to [my]0-i surprise , when [I]0-i sit down , [I]0-i notice [I]0-i ’m not alone . Nope , the beat - up water jug is “ sitting ”[314-ralph] in the chair next to [me]0-i . A sick feeling builds in the pit of [my]0-i stomach . [I]0-i ’m not going to like whatever this meeting is about . Still in [his]314-ralph uniform , [Ralph]314-ralph sits back in [his]314-ralph chair , hands folded over [his]314-ralph stomach , and glares at [me]0-i . Glares . Not fucking happy at all . Staring [me]0-i down with [his]314-ralph classic unhappy eyes , [he]314-ralph says , [You]0-i acted like [a child]2864-a child out there today . ”[314-ralph] [I]0-i acted like [an angry ballplayer who ’s desperate to get out of [his]2650-an angry ballplayer who ’s desperate to get out of his rut rut]2650-an angry ballplayer who ’s desperate to get out of his rut , but [he]314-ralph does n’t see it that way . Never has . The thing about [the Bobbies]313-the bobbies is [they]313-the bobbies ’re [the most clean - cut do - gooders in the league]2651-the most clean - cut do - gooders in the league . [They]313-the bobbies pride [themselves]313-the bobbies on admirable morality , respect on and off the field , and loving the game . There ’s no fighting , there ’s no long beards , there ’s no goddamn personality allowed to be shown on [the field]2568-the field . [We]2653-we ’re machines . [We]2653-we play the game as it ’s supposed to be played , and [we]2653-we do n’t show emotion on [the field]2568-the field as it ’s a sign of weakness . [We]2653-we ’re the complete opposite of [[our]2653-we rival team]2655-our rival team here in [Chicago]69-chicago , [the Rebels]2656-the rebels ; [[our]2653-we manager]2657-our manager enforces it . Playing for [the Bobbies]313-the bobbies has been everything [I]0-i wanted , despite all the rules and regulations [we]2653-we have to face , because it ’s kept [me]0-i close to where [I]0-i need to be . [My]0-i temper has hindered [me]0-i , something [I]0-i have n’t been able to get ahold of since [my]0-i rookie season . And [Ralph Hopkins]314-ralph is one temper tantrum away from not dealing with it anymore . [You]0-i ’ve been zero for sixteen over the last few games with nothing to prove for [your]0-i talent besides being [one of the best catchers in [the league]2649-the league]4624-one of the best catchers in the league . That glove and arm of [yours]0-i is the only reason [you]0-i ’re not sitting out right now . [I]314-ralph ca n’t afford to have [Tony]158-tonya harding behind the plate , not when [he]158-tonya harding ca n’t throw [[his]158-tonya harding own grandma]4626-his own grandma out at second . ”[314-ralph] [Ralph]314-ralph drags a frustrated hand over [his]314-ralph face . “ And then [you]0-i go and pull that shit . ”[314-ralph] [He]314-ralph gestures to the dilapidated cooler . “ With [every media outlet]4627-every media outlet pointing [their]4627-every media outlet camera at [you]0-i . ”[314-ralph] [His]314-ralph chair squeaks as [he]314-ralph leans forward , planting [his]314-ralph hands on the desk . [I]314-ralph ’m already struggling with [your]0-i image and shit attitude . How the fuck am [I]314-ralph supposed to deal with that stunt [you]0-i pulled after the game ? Sit [you]0-i out ? When [I]314-ralph need [you]0-i to be behind the plate ? [You]0-i do n’t fucking think , [Rockwell]309-rockwell . ”[314-ralph] “ It wo n’t happen again , ”[0-i] [I]0-i answer simply , knowing it ’s a promise [I]0-i ca n’t keep . “ That ’s what [you]0-i said after [you]0-i broke the bat over [your]0-i knee . ”[314-ralph] See ? [I]312-coach did n’t break a bat this time , [I]312-coach broke a water jug . ”[312-coach] [Coach]312-coach ’s eyes narrow . [I]312-coach ’m talking about [your]0-i attitude , [Rockwell]309-rockwell . [It]4628-it ’s shit . And [I]312-coach ’m fed up with it . If this roster was up to [me]312-coach , [your]0-i ass would be out of [our]2658-our red - and - blue jersey , warming the wood somewhere else . ”[312-coach] [I]0-i do n’t know what to say to that , so [I]0-i stay silent . [Ralph]314-ralph has never liked [me]0-i . . . ever . And frankly , the feeling is mutual . [We]2658-our clash . [He]314-ralph ’s strait - laced , [I]0-i ’m crooked . [He]314-ralph ’s smooth with [his]314-ralph delivery to the media , [I]0-i ’m bent , broken , constantly piecing [myself]0-i together to represent something [I]0-i ’m not . [He]314-ralph shakes [his]314-ralph head and blows out a frustrated breath . Looking off to the side , [he]314-ralph studies a picture on the wall for a few breaths before saying , “ Be here tomorrow morning at nine with an apology ready to be issued . ”[314-ralph] “ An apology ? ”[314-ralph] [My]0-i brow knits together . [You]314-ralph want [me]314-ralph to apologize to [the press]4629-the press ? ”[314-ralph] “ No , ”[314-ralph] [he]314-ralph deadpans . [I]314-ralph want [you]0-i to apologize to the goddamn water jug . ”[314-ralph] [I]0-i give [him]314-ralph a confused look , thinking [he]314-ralph ’s joking , but then [he]314-ralph says , [You]0-i think [I]314-ralph ’m kidding ? [I]314-ralph ’m not . [We]4630-we ’re doing damage control , which means [[our]4630-we media team]4631-our media team will have the cooler set up in the dugout where [you]0-i ’ll make an official apology and thank the inanimate object for its long service with [the Bobbies]313-the bobbies . It ’s a PR stunt that will show a lighter side of [you]0-i . Believe it or not , [you]0-i ’re not [a fan favorite]4632-a fan favorite and it ’s because [you]0-i have the attitude of [a Rebel]4633-a rebel , not [a Bobbie]4634-a bobbie . ”[314-ralph] Not the first time [I]0-i ’ve heard that . [You]314-ralph want [me]314-ralph to apologize on camera to a water jug ? ”[314-ralph] [I]0-i ask , trying to understand if [I]0-i ’m hearing [him]314-ralph correctly . “ Yes . ”[314-ralph] [He]314-ralph leans forward even more and adds , “ And [you]0-i ’ll wear a goddamn smile while doing it or [I]314-ralph will bench [your]0-i ass , putting a playoff run in jeopardy for [the entire team]4635-the entire team . ”[314-ralph] Fuck . [He]314-ralph ’s serious . [He]314-ralph really wants [me]0-i to apologize to a fucking water container . “ Do n’t be late . Now get out of [[my]314-ralph office]561-my office . ”[314-ralph]

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[The Perfect Duet]318-the perfect duet ( A heartfelt romance that will leave [you]2662-your breathless ) The Left Side of [Perfect The Right Side of Forever

The Blue Line Duet]2671-perfect the right side of forever the blue line duet ( An epic romance with many twists and turns ) [The Upside of Falling The Downside of Love

The Dating by Numbers Series]2672-the upside of falling the downside of love the dating by numbers series ( Adventurous dating series full of laugh out loud moments and very heated scenes ) [Three Blind Dates Two Wedding Crashers Back in the Game One Baby Daddy The Binghamton]2673-three blind dates two wedding crashers back in the game one baby daddy the binghamton Series ( Full of heart , humor , and heat and [some HOT CONSTRUCTION WORKERS]2674-some hot construction workers ) Co - Wrecker [My]0-i Best [Friend ’s Ex Tangled Twosome The Other Brother Standalone Novels]2675-friend ’s ex tangled twosome the other brother standalone novels [The Mother Road ( A family road trip romantic comedy]2676-the mother road ( a family road trip romantic comedy ) Newly Exposed ( May the force be with [this male model , a romantic comedy]2677-this male model , a romantic comedy ) Dear Life ( A life changing contemporary romance ) The Stroked Series ( HOT sports romance with plenty of humor ) [STROKED STROKED LONG STROKED HARD The Jett Girl]2678-stroked stroked long stroked hard the jett girl Series ( Sassy , erotic romance with [a gorgeous , protective alpha male]2679-a gorgeous , protective alpha male ) Bourbon Sins Bourbon Deceit [Bourbon Kingdom Bourbon]84-bourbon kingdom bourbon Truths The Love and Sports Series ( [New Adult , Football sports romance with plenty of twists ) Fair Catch Double Coverage Three and Out

The Hot - Lanta Series]2680-new adult , football sports romance with plenty of twists ) fair catch double coverage three and out the hot - lanta series ( [My]0-i first series ever . Baseball sports romance with lots of drama ! ) [Caught Looking Playing the Field Warning Track Hit and Run]2681-caught looking playing the field warning track hit and run